Synergy #47 Results - September 5th, 2011

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to SYNERGY! Coming to you live from the UGWC Arena, in LA!

Covert Jay: Did we ever sort that issue of where the show comes from out?

Vinegar: I cannot remember, therefore it will remain as LA until I’m corrected.

Lieberjosch: That makes no sense. What if it’s actually based in Phoenix? How could it be LA then?

Covert Jay: Actually it says in a few places in our website that we're based in New York. Far too laborious to look that up, though.

Vinegar: Moving on. We have a stacked show for you all, including a battle royale to determine the first two competitors in the awe inspiring Battlegrounds match!

Covert Jay: And Gabby will be competing in the main event! You can tell she’s using this Celibacy thing to turn me on...

Vinegar: What happened to Chinatsu?

Covert Jay: A lion’s appetite is vast young cub.

Lieberjosch: He’s older than you, idiot.

Covert Jay: Ninja’s are ageless, old padawan.

“Quick Death”

Johnny and Duncan walk out of the back, Johnny seems to be holding a 2x4 in his hands.

Dennis: The following handicap match is scheduled for ONE FAAAAAAAAAALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Introducing first, from the UK, weighing in at a combined weight of 456lbs......THE THAMES VALLEY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT SQUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The duo makes their way down to the ring fairly quickly.

Lieberjosch: Johnny has that 2x4 on hand.....one has to believe they have some sort of scheme.....maybe they want to get my house back!

Covert Jay: Don’t count on it.

“Come Together”

The lights go out, bar an ominous red glow emitting from under the ring as Tyvola makes his way out onto the ramp, and out to the ring.

Dennis: Introducing next, from Jwar Isle, weighing in at 376lbs, the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion..........TYVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Tyvola, only just under 100lbs of the combined weight of the TVHS, is an absolute force to be reckoned with as he proved at the PPV, surviving Outlast as champion, something that is seldom seen.

Lieberjosch: Yes, yes, he’s good. He’s also the reason that I’m living at the damned YMCA.

Covert Jay: Smart ninjas are smart with their betting.

DING! DING!

Vinegar: Johnny is starting this one off, goes for the lockup, but is pushed back. He comes charging in again, but is flattened by a clothesline! Tyvola picks him back up off the floor, and slams him with a powerslam! The destructive force of Tyvola once again on show.

Covert Jay: Ryder be rydin!

Lieberjosch: He has that 2x4!

CRACK!

DING! DING!

Vinegar: Ryder cracked that 2x4 over the head of Tyvola, splintering it, but Tyvola is only momentarily stunned. The TVHS has been DQ’ed, but Tyvola is continuing on. He grabs Ryder, and just throws him out of the ring! Now turning back to Blake, who is back on his feet. He unloads with a few stiff shots to the abdomen, momentarily winding the champ. Tyvola recovers, and hits a big boot to the face of Blake!

CRACK!

Lieberjosch: Even steel can’t take him down!

Vinegar: Ryder tried a chair shot to Tyvola, but to no avail! Ty grabs the chair, and flings it out into the audience. He kicks Ryder in the gut...

Covert Jay: 3C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Tyvola absolutely demolished the TVHS, despite the weapon shots, Tyvola came through! This man is truly unstoppable!

Lieberjosch: Oh boy, Ooley’s not gonna like that.....

Covert Jay: More Frog angerising action, next!

[Lord Hastings]

Moss Edwards is walking through the Hallways, Hope Paulson at his side. He turns to her.

Moss: Miss Paulson, you won’t be required to follow me for this.

Hope: Isn’t the purpose of my being your intern to follow you and learn from you?

Moss sighs angrily

Moss: I have a different assignment for you, I want you to go and, uh, study the eating patterns of the superstars in the cafeteria. From what I hear, there has been an increase in food sales and I want to get to the bottom of it.

Hope raises an eyebrow, not buying his story for a second. Moss uses a sterner look, she rolls her eyes and heads for the cafeteria. Moss continues down the hallway a bit before running into a UGWC fan, looking directly at him.

Moss: For gods...Who let you back here???

The man whistles, a group of 20 jump out from various hiding spots

Moss: How did you all get past security???

We now see that most of the rabble has weapons of some kind

1st guy: We have our ways.

They all start to advance on him. Moss realises the gravity of the situation.

Moss: Touch me, and I’ll press charges for assault!

2nd guy: Yeah, right. You got beaten up backstage at a wrestling event. As if the cops won’t think it’s a storyline.

The rabble jump in. It’s general chaos, and Moss doesn’t have a chance. Fortunately, the more dangerous weapons are blocked out by the quicker members of the mob. After a few minutes, security comes charging in. The crowd disperses, and we see the battered and broken body of Moss Edwards, lying face down on the floor. We cross back to ringside.

Lieberjosch: Oh my god. What the hell was that?

Vinegar: I have no idea, but I’m sure we’ll find out soon, as there is quite a start that we're off to here tonight on Synergy!

Lieberjosch: Tyvola once again looking dominant, we saw the lengths that a championship cooperative team had to go to just to have even a chance.

Covert Jay: He's already twice been able to defeat five challengers at the same time, later tonight Hastings and Gabby are going to face off for the right to get to take him on all on their own.

Lieberjosch: Might be a situation where the winner is the loser.

Vinegar: But before we get to that, right now we have a battle royal, where the final two will both earn a spot in this year's Battleground Match.

Lieberjosch: The winner of Battleground earns the right to make any match of their choosing at Horizons, and this year's Battleground will be the biggest ever, this year featuring eight entrants instead of the traditional six.

Vinegar: Most of our participants already in the ring, Chris Peterson just entering now.

Covert Jay: In full knight regala.

Vinegar: Alan Fernandez apparently explaining something to Phrixus Deimos, pointing towards young Peterson.

The lights flicker to green and gold as in the veins of death valley kicks in. JK walks through the curtain and out onto the entrance way, to a loud chorus of booing, which seems to be emulating JK sombre mood. JK looks up at the fans as he holds up an open hand, queing fireworks to go off in set locations around the arena. JK continues down to the ring, looking out upon the sea of former fans, with many in the front row not even holding their hands out. JK slides into the ring before climbing the turnbuckle and doing signature five finger pose.

Dennis: Now entering the ring, The Cyclone, JAYYYYYY KAAYYYYYY!!!

Lieberjosch: Mitchell Dennis, apparently can't be bothered to remember anything about our entrants in this match, I've noticed.

Dennis: There's fourteen people in it, douchebag, and I had to still announce stuff to the crowd while you all were yapping and the home viewers watched a backstage scene.

Lieberjosch: Easy there, gangbusters.

The lights dim to a near black out, then suddenly explosions appear, as Medos walks out to "Firefly" by Breaking Benjamin. The crowd cheer wildly as Medos slides into the ring starting to prepare himself.

Dennis: Now entering the ring, The Southern Gent, MEEEDOOSSSSS!!!

Vinegar: Medos seems to have received a complete gimmick overhaul in the past week.

Lieberjosch: Well, he's not British.

Covert Jay: You wonder why he didn't have that conversation with Moss Edwards. Isn't screwing with people's gimmicks part of his job description?

Vinegar: Alan Fernandez now apparently pointing the Crimson Ghost out to his partner, as we're awaiting our final entrant.

Lieberjosch: I think we should point out to our viewers that Prince Rudo has honored us with his presence in this match, which really should have qualified his entrance to get broadcast.

Covert Jay: We're on a time crunch, we don't have time to show all fourteen entrances.

Lieberjosch: We're broadcast on the internet on our own web site, how are we limited by anything?

"Teahouse" begins to play, and Alex Kiseragi walks out to the stage, dressed in his street gear.

Covert Jay: DRAAGGONNNNNNNN!!!!

Vinegar: Alex Kiseragi completes the field for this match, it can finally get underway.

Lieberjosch: Except he isn't coming to the ring.

Dennis: Now shaking his head and heading backstage, ALEX KISSSERRRRAGGIIIIII!!!!!!

Vinegar: Kiseragi apparently bowing out of this match, not sure what's up with that.

Covert Jay: Maybe he's tried from DragonCon.

Vinegar: In any case, it's good news to the thirteen people who DO want to win this match, all of our referees are at ringside, Glenn Burke signals that we're ready to go!

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Going to be very difficult to keep up with all the action here, we'll do the best that we can.

Lieberjosch: It starts with a bang, as JK catches Kyle Tacker with a pele kick, and it sends the One Man Riot right out to ringside!

Covert Jay: Just as Medos drills John Russo with Transatlantic Trouble, knocking Russo over the ropes to the outside!

Vinegar: Medos and Russo were teammates just two weeks ago at Outlast, no teammates in this match, however, as participants begin to pair off around the ring, Ethan King trying to force out Rick Harding, Prince Rudo attempting the same with Steven Stone.

Lieberjosch: Enigma tackling JK to the mat, raining blows on him.

Vinegar: Alan Fernandez has Chris Peterson, whips him right to Deimos!

Covert Jay: SPEARFISH!!!

Lieberjosch: But Deimos looks to have hurt his shoulder, damage caused by spearing that metal plating being worn by Peterson!

Covert Jay: Ethan King gets Harding out!

Vinegar: Absolutely shocking, as the slow forceover works for perhaps the first time I've ever seen, as meanwhile JK shoves Enigma away, backs into the ropes.

Lieberjosch: Chris Peterson knocks Fernandez down with a clothesline, grabs Deimos by the leg.

Covert Jay: LEG BITER!

Vinegar: But the Crimson Ghost grabs Peterson from behind, throws him over the ropes to the outside!

Lieberjosch: Enigma charges at JK, but JK drops to the ground, pulls down the top rope, and Enigma spills over to ringside!

Vinegar: Medos now grappling with the Crimson Ghost, Ethan King tries to grab Fernandez.

Covert Jay: But the Talk of the Town lifts him right into the fireman's carry position, dumps him to ringside with Human Wreckage!

Vinegar: Stone knocks Rudo away with an elbow, hops onto the turnbuckle.

Covert Jay: But Rudo shoves him right off the turnbuckle to ringside!

Lieberjosch: Steven Stone is prone to these kinds of mistakes, and Prince Rudo is a ring veteran, able to take advantage to eliminate Stone.

Covert Jay: Rudo turns around into Fernandez, whips him to Fear for another Spearfish!

Vinegar: But JK is able to take advantage and blindsides Fernandez, grabs him and throws him over the ropes!

Lieberjosch: Things like this is what happens when you are in a match where you have to take care of yourself, and you try to coordinate with a partner.

Covert Jay: Crimson Ghost trying to dump out Medos, Medos manages to elbow him off.

Vinegar: Deimos charges at JK, but JK backdrops him over the ropes!

Covert Jay: Fear lands on the apron!

Lieberjosch: JK turns around, and Deimos hip tosses him over the ropes to ringside!

Covert Jay: But Medos catches Fear with Transatlantic Trouble, knocks him off the apron as well!

Vinegar: Which puts us down to three, Medos, the Crimson Ghost, and Prince Rudo, two of these three will secure themselves a spot in the Battleground!

Lieberjosch: Crimson Ghost has climbed a turnbuckle.

Covert Jay: The Spin-Cycle!

Vinegar: Crimson Ghost plants Medos with that tornado DDT, impressive athleticism by a competitor that I think a lot of people are excited has joined the UGWC roster.

Lieberjosch: He's a goof.

Vinegar: And now he kicks Medos in the gut, comes off the ropes!

Covert Jay: Bloody Hell!

Vinegar: Medos steps back out of the way, grabs Crimson Ghost and runs him to the ropes!

Lieberjosch: Ghost trying to resist going over!

Vinegar: Medos trying to force him out!

Lieberjosch: But Prince Rudo grabs Medos from behind and flips him over the Crimson Ghost and out of the ring!

Dennis: Here are your winners, THE CRIMSON GHOST and PRINCE RUUUUDDOOOOOO!!!!

Vinegar: And they are the first two people to secure a spot in the Battleground Match!

Lieberjosch: It can be a career-shortening and life-changing match, and this year it will feature the Cross-Hemisphere Champion, as well as perhaps the biggest X-factor in all of UGWC!

Vinegar: Prince Rudo joining his Circle on the stage, Crimson Ghost celebrating by giving timekeeper Claude de Rhombus some noogies.

Covert Jay: Now that is a proper celebration.

Vinegar: Don't go anywhere, we've plenty more to come, on Synergy!

[Lord Hastings]

The group of 20 marches down to the ring, to a fair amount of booing, most likely because of the attack on the popular executive officer.

Vinegar: Well, looks like that group that assaulted Moss Edwards is coming down to the ring.

Lieberjosch: Well done. It’s not like we can’t see that....

The first person that was spotted by Edwards enters the ring while the others surround the outside. It appears that he’s swiped a mic from somewhere, and he has something to say.

1st person: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Greg Houston, and I am the leader of this little band of mercenaries.

The fans boo him.

Greg: You see, ladies and Gentlemen, we are all followers of a particular superstar on Twitter. Whenever he calls for us, we will be there. Whenever he says attack, then we fucking attack!

They smugly smile.

Greg: Moss, well, he was victim number one. A little warning shot if you will.

Vinegar: Taking out a consortium member...a warning shot??

Greg: You will never know when we’ll strike, it could be in five minutes, could be in 2 weeks. You also never know where we’ll attack, in the parking lot, in the cafeteria, or even in the ring, it doesn’t matter. We are.....

He lowers the mic, soaking in the fans reaction.

Greg: THE FLASH MOB!

Security comes out to the ring, causing the Flash Mob to disperse through the fans.

Vinegar: What entertainment professional would want to attack his business in such a way?

Lieberjosch: The name of a few jobbers who were annihilated by the EPs comes to mind.

Covert Jay: HUTTAH! NINJA FLASH MOB!

Vinegar: Well, folks-

Vinegar is interrupted by Rob Zombie blaring through the speakers, and NBK stalks down the aisle, collar on his trenchcoat up, championship gripped tightly in his right hand. His left was hidden in one of his pockets, the masked terror getting a few cheers, even as the big evil monster he was.

Jay: Wrong entrance!

Vinegar: Well, the champion usually enters last, but the Most Dangerous Rumour You've Never Heard has his own agenda, apparently.

Hans: When doesn't he, Nicholas? And why should he have to bow to societal norms? The man's a champion, let him do what he wants.

Vinegar: You know, according to his most recent interview, I don't think he's happy being the Chaos Champion.

Jay: Lonely at the top!

Hans: For once, our inept partner has a valid point. Killer is at the top of his particular division, and when has he been given a good match? It certainly won't happen tonight, this Cockatoo character due to make his appearance is a glorified jobber at best!

Vinegar: It's true that Paul Cockatoo the original Aboriginal hasn't been given much time to shine, but this could very well be his night, if he's focused.

As if on cue, and in a horrendous display of copying and pasting(sorry JK), a Dijerido is heard playing in the arena as a shot of some kangaroos bounding off into the sunset is shown on the globotron before the opening Riff for "Beds are burning" by Midnight Oil takes over the P.A. system as "the original Aboriginal" makes his way down to the ring, smiling a big smile.

Hans: Jesus, his smile is so white. It's blinding!

Both announce partners stare at him, slack-jawed, along with a few other audience members within earshot. The black fans have particularly unimpressed stares, to say the least.

Hans: ...What?! It is! Hey, don't pull that card with me, you simpletons, this isn't Roe vs. Wade.

Jay: What the f-

Vinegar: You know what, let's just get back into it. Paul has succeeded in causing a buxom-chested young lady in first row to cover up her shirt and disgustedly move further away, but the native Garrett doesn't worry about that too much. He quickly slides under the bottom rope-

Jay: Futball!

Hans: He gets a running kick, right into his face for his troubles! The bell barely rings and his nose is already broken!

Vinegar: And NBK just stomping on the head of Paul, only half in the ring and being absolutely dominated!

Jay: NBK's dragging Paul in by his ears now, that dude is strong.

Hans: He's strong and he's ruthless, Jay. He's grabbing Paul's right wrist, raising it up...what's he- Ha! Smart idea!

Vinegar: This isn't smart, it's sadistic! The Natural Born Killer is throwing kick after stomp after kick directly into the ribs of the native Garrett...this young man is screaming in pain at each one, oh jesus, now he's being lifted up by that arm! He's got to have at least a few fractured ribs, he is in obvious agony!

Hans: You all know my feelings toward hardcore wrestling, but I am loving NBK's style! Look how he picks the smaller runt up, seamlessly putting him in suplex position...he's even able to walk...walk towards us...wait, what's he-

Jay: He's falling forward, Paul's diaphram lands squarely on the top rope! This is not a good position for him to be in. Now NBK grabbing him for another suplex?

Vinegar: No! Paul worming around, landing behind the bigger man! BACKDROP!

Hans: Don't get so excited, Nicholas, NBK's feet barely left the mat! That idiot did more damage to his own ribs than he did to NBK, look at him groaning, holding his ribs on his side! If he had read Article 74, he'd know the folly of even trying to trade power with a monster like the Natural Born Killer!

Vinegar: But you saw NBK's head hitting his own Chaos Title, you see the man's woozy. Even still, the masked man does make it to his feet quicker. Paul to his feet, but NBK with a crouching, swooping punch that finds it's mark, smashing against this poor kid's temple! Back down on the mat, perhaps wisely rolling out of the ring.

Hans: But NBK like the Terminator-

Jay: Have you seen this boy?!

Hans: right out after him! Paul turning around right into a vicious running clothesline, from The Most Dangerous Rumour You've Never Heard! And Jay if you interrupt me one more time-

Jay: BOOMERANG! OW!

Vinegar: I don't know how much power it had, but as Hans with a sloppy almost slap-like punch to Jay, Paul with that trademark running lariat of his, obviously modified for the outside. It was perhaps unwise of NBK to turn his back and hunt for weapons under the ring.

Hans: Are you sure about that, Nicholas? NBK already working his way to his feet, and Paul is clutching the ringpost, trying to find the determination to even walk! Ha ha ha, and that was even before his face got smashed into said post by the Natural- Oh, dammit!

Jay: That's why you don't mess with the ninja, doc. NBK with Paul in sort of an inverted fallaway position, and Paul's ribs just get driven into that corner! And now NBK's tossing that poor bastard behind him like a piece of trash.

Hans: Yeah, that n-

More stares.

Hans: WHAT?! I was gonna say never! What did you people expect?!

Audience Member: You people?!

Vinegar: Oh god, Hans, maybe you should go into the back for the rest of the day, let things cool off...meanwhile, NBK has grabbed an elaborate couple of things...He has a steel chair and a mini-sledge, walking toward Paul, who is right in front of our broadcast table. NBK WITH THE CHAIR- He's just setting it down, unfolding it first. What the hell?

Hans: He's got something in his pocket, it's...a bag. Hey, what are those poking through?

Jay: Those are nails...heavy duty. He's setting them on the seat, grabbing Paul. Oh he's not gonna...

Vinegar: This is sick! He grabbed Paul who was on his knees, made him 'crawl' to the chair, and just slammed his face into that chair seat, right into that bag of sharp nails...and he's got the mini sledge..oh no, he's walking away, climbing the ring steps up to the apron...Paul looks like he's out cold, face against that bag, OH LORD NO!

Hans: NBK JUMPS!

Jay: NINJA DODGE!

Vinegar: That might have just been luck, but Paul managed to roll away, just as NBK smashes that miniature sledgehammer into a bag of nails! The chair is still standing, but the seat is just bent and warped beyond all repair, and that horrible excuse for a human being looks a little confused...BUT PAUL RIGHT BEHIND HIM!

Hans: What a pariah! Kick to NBK's gut, DDT INTO THAT WARPED CHAIR!

Jay: This is crazy!

Vinegar: Well, thankfully, there weren't a lot of nails on that chair, but both men falling on to that mess...Perhaps it was smart of NBK to keep his coat on, it's protecting him from the majority of those injuries. I still see some cuts and blood as he grips our table and fights to his feet. This man is inhuman!

Hans: I can hear his muttering from this distance, hey, hey you! Get back in the ring! Take that idiot in there and end this already!

Jay: You got balls, man.

Vinegar: Can't say he has much brains, though. Still, NBK ignoring us, reaching down, and grabbing the bloody mess of Paul...he's rolling the young man into the ring...but he's turning around, grabbing that miniature sledge again! You monster, just end this! His biggest offensive move yet has taken more out of him than you, just end it already!

Hans: This isn't about that, Nicholas. NBK sliding into the ring, hammer in hand...stupidly enough, that Cockatoo working to his knees, and that's why it's stupid!

Jay: Hammer shot, right to those ribs! And almost a stabbing thrust with that hammer, catching Paul right in the forehead before he tosses the weapon away! But he isn't done!

Vinegar: This is repulsive, NBK forcing the man to his feet, and he's such a fighter that he's staying there...I don't think he knows what's happening though, as NBK bounces off the ropes, RUMOUR HAS IT! DEAR GOD, PAUL COCKATOO'S BEEN TURNED INSIDE OUT!

Hans: Well, turns out my prediction was correct, Peterson with the count.

Owen: 1, 2, 3!

Vinegar: I'd normally complain about the fast count, but that was an act of mercy. The bell's rung, the match is over...get that kid out of there!

The arena is mostly silent save for NBK's music, as he grabs his Title, rolling out of the ring and walking slowly to the backstage, the camera coming close enough to pick up almost unintelligible mutterings...

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: It's been quite a night already, we know that both Prince Rudo and The Crimson Ghost have both qualified for the largest...

Covert Jay: and Zaniest...

Vinegar: Battleground Match in history, the TVHS still haven't gotten over their fondness of weaponry and The Natural born killer, despite his best protestations, is still our Chaos Champion. And we've still got the big one to come, Donovan Hastings and Gabrielle Montgomery will face of to determine just who becomes the Number 1 Contender to Tyvola's World Heavyweight Championship at Battleground.

Lieberjosch: And it's going to be far too close to call, both these fine athletes have the ability and skills to compete with our World Champion, but unfortunately only one of them can book a place against the Homicidal House Stealing Hobo later in the month.

Vinegar: It's going to be interesting, their isn't much love lost between either competitor, and Donovan Hastings is possibly the only male in UGWC who hasn't tried to stick his dick in Gabrielle.

Lieberjosch: Turned you down too, huh?

Vinegar: I was talking about the roster, I am a professional I would never think of consorting with another employee.

“Ripper”

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen the next match is scheduled for one fall and is to determine the Number 1 Contender to the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first, from Greenwich, Connecticut....DDDDDDDDOOOOONNNNOOOOVVVVAAAANNN HHHHHAAAAASSSTTTTIIINNNGSSSS!!!

Vinegar: Hastings coming down to this match on his own tonight, it would probably have been a big risk of getting DQ-ed if Calypso had accompanied him, given her own distaste for Gabby.

Covert Jay: Why can't they just get along...

Lieberjosch: Yeah, why can't they...maybe the addition of some baby oil would help?

Covert Jay: I think anything is worth a try at this stage.

Vinegar: Hastings looks determined, for the first time in a while it looks as though he is focused on something other than Alex Kiseragi or the Petersons. And a focused Hastings can be dangerous.

Lieberjosch: He's been relatively disinterested in reclaiming the championship he lost at last years Horizons, the fact that worm has turned could prove ominous for the competition.

Vinegar: Indeed, Ooley's Human Resource Department have yet to cross paths with Donovan Hastings, and he is a whole different beast to Tyvola, it'll be interesting to see how things play out this evening. Donovan is possibly as manipulative as Ooley so he'll probably be ready for any twists the HRD throw his way.

“What You Want”

Dennis: And his opponent, from Auckland, New Zealand.....GGGGGGAAAAABBBBRRRRIIIIEEEELLLLLEEEE MMMMMOOOONNNTTTTGGGOOOMMMMEEERRRRYYY!!!

Vinegar: And here she comes, Robert ooleys latest great hope to wrestle the World Heavyweight Championship back into his grasp. He has all but given up on Travis Pierce, despite his best motivation and efforts the former UGWC World Heavyweight Champion just hasn't had what it takes, so he promoted Gabby just before Outlast, and now she gets her first shot to show what she can do without numerous other athletes to impede her.

Lieberjosch: I'll tell you what impedes her most.

Vinegar: And what's that?

Lieberjosch: Her bra.

Vinegar: That doesn't really make sense. Regardless, gabby has almost seemed like the square peg trying to fit into Robert Ooley's round hole...

Lieberjosch: His hole?

Vinegar: Grow up. The point being the fans still give her a hearty reception, she seems like the only person in the HRD who isn't actually terrified of Ole' Bob, and she's as yet failed to completely lose her soul despite months with questionable company.

Lieberjosch: She may still have a soul, but it's going directly to hell...you have seen what she gets up to with the likes of Tyvola, right?

Vinegar: They're both ready now in the ring, and Brian Chartreuse signals for the bell.

Ding!

Vinegar: Both competitors circling each other, neither willing to rush head first into this, slowly calculating when best to make the first strike...

Covert Jay: DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGOOOOOONNN!!!

Lieberjosch: What's [he doing here? He's already shamed himself by refusing to compete in the Battleground Qualifier earlier tonight, now he's interrupting two superior athletes...why are the fans cheering him?

Vinegar: He's got a microphone, so I assume he'll let us know why he's here.

Kiseragi: I'm sorry to interrupt this tired old match-up, but we have unfinished business Donovan. I'm here to challenge you to a One on One match at Battleground, and if I defeat you, Chris comes home to the Dragons Cave.

Vinegar: Hastings motioning for a microphone of his own.

Hastings: Dear me, you really are determined to screw that kid up as much as possible aren't you? What kind of teacher would you be for him, you've seemingly already forgotten the beating Team Hastings gave you at Outlast. What possible reason do I have to face you again, you're old news dear boy. The Lord is about to embark on the road to yet another glorious reign as World Heavyweight Champion, he has no need of minor distractions such as yourself.

Kiseragi: Really? I always thought The Lord of Pain was a man of pride? Why fight for your shot to compete the only day the world title is not the main event when you can take your shot whenever you like? I never thought you'd accept reclaiming The World Championship to play second fiddle to anything else, when you could choose your time and place. You see Donovan, I'm so confident I'll beat you, I'm willing to put $10 million of my purse on the line.

Lieberjosch: That's a hell of a lot to throw away, seems I've found the perfect person to gamble with!

Vinegar: Kiseragi has been rebuffed, Donovan Hastings just turning his back, dismissively waving Kiseragi away and focusing on the matter at hand.

Covert Jay: Kiseragi doesn't look hugely surprised by this reaction, and shrugs as if to suggest he's not losing out here, smiles and shakes his head demeaningly as he walks backstage.

Lieberjosch: Hastngs doesn't want, nor need Kiseragi's purse. He wants to earn the right to face the champion in a one off competition, like the good old days, not with some ill-gotten cash from Kiseragi's dirty pile.

Vinegar: I guess that's honourable, but there is clearly unfinished business on Kiseragi's end...and a pissed off Dragon can be unpredictable, I wonder if Hastings is aware of that very important fact. Either way, at this moment he is focused on Gabby and both of them lock up.

Lieberjosch: The Caramel Coated Goddess gets the advantage and takes Hastings to the floor and drops a leg on his shoulder, before getting to her feet and driving her knee into his skull as he attempts to get back to his feet.

Vinegar: Gabby now drags The Lord up and whips him into the ropes, but he ducks under the swing of her arm and grabs out bringing her down with a snap neck breaker...

Lieberjosch: Getting to his feet he puts a boot into Gabby's ribs as she struggles to all fours, and then he drops a knee on the back of her skull, with a smile on his face as he impacts.

Vinegar: grabbing her by her long hair he drags her to her feet, and then slams her head into the top turnbuckle...

Lieberjosch: but as he goes for it again she stretches her long, tanned, glorious leg and blocks the attempt before slamming her elbow into his eye.

Vinegar: Hastings clutching that eye now, and it looks like it's bleeding, and as he staggers Gabby grabs him and slams him to the canvas with a side suplex...

Lieberjosch: She then turns and hits a split legged moonsault...I love it when her legs split....

Covert Jay: I'd love to be covered by that chest like Hastings is now....




1...














2...







Vinegar: Hastings manages to kick out, but there does seem to be a large amount of blood pouring from his eye, if this was a boxing match I think we'd have seen a TKO now, I'm not sure how he can fight with his vision impaired so...his depth perception must be intermittent at the very best.

Lieberjosch: gabby taking advantage now and lifting Hastings up once more, this time for a Vertical Suplex...

Vinegar: But he manages to punch her directly in her face breaking the hold...and landing directly on top of her in a pinning predicament....





1.....









2.....










Vinegar: But Gabby manages to kick out as well, this match is going at quite a high pace, I'm not sure how long the two of them can keep this up, something has got to give.

Lieberjosch: And the most likely candidate at this point is Hastings, his eye is still bleeding and it's swollen up to the size of a golf ball, he is like the complete opposite in attractiveness to his opponent right now.

Covert Jay: Does that mean you were attracted to him before his eye was damaged?

Vinegar: Both back on their feet, but Hastings clearly suffering as he reaches out for Gabby and clearly misses stumbling over his own feet...and directly into the rising knee of The First Lady of the HRD...

Covert Jay: GABUSTER!!!

Vinegar: Hastings taking all kind of damage now, and he rolls out of the ring before Gabby can take advantage.

Lieberjosch: but Gabby knows she has the momentum and isn't going to let it slip...she climbs the rope...HURICANRA...

Vinegar: NO! Hatsings blocks...POWERBOMB TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!! Gabby takes a big risk, and ends up with a whole lot of hurt...

Lieberjosch: Donovan crawling back into the ring as Chartreuse makes the count, he's happy to take this win anyway he can get it, he's not above winning via countout if need be.

4...

Vinegar: Gabby is staring at the lights, I'm not sure she'll be able to get up after that, it's clearly taken everything out of her.

6...

Lieberjosch: But she drags herself to her feet using the guardrails, and her head snaps back in the direction of Hastings, who is himself using the ring ropes to help him onto his own feet...

8...

Vinegar: And She throws herself back intot he ring just in time...Donovan however bounces of the ropes and as she rises to her feet he is running directly at her...but once again his impeded eyesight causes him to misjudge his steps, and he stumbles forward, flailing madly...

Lieberjosch: DOUBLE D DDT!!!!

Covert jay: COVER!

Vinegar: But Chartreuse is down, he's out cold, whilst stumbling Donovan did his best to catch gabby with one of his flailing arms, but instead caught the rferee, and now there is no-one to make the count...

Lieberjosch: Gabby covering Hastings and leaning and shaking Chartreuse at the same time, trying to make him come around...

Vinegar: he starts to move, but he's not showing signs of coming round just yet...WHAT IN THE NAME OF CARA PRESCOTT'S UNDERWEAR DRAWER!!!

Lieberjosch: Gabrielle is pulled off of Hastings body...

Covert Jay By JET SOMERS!

Vinegar: Gabby is unaware of who broke her cover, probably assuming it's Calypso she quickly gets to her feet and rounds on Somers...

Lieberjosch: But Somers has leapt to the middle rope...

Vinegar: JETSTREAMER!!! Looks like he's ready to take the fight directly to the HRD...

Lieberjosch: Travis Pierce is rushing down the ramp to aid his beautiful team mate, Jet Somers is truly a foolish man, The HRD will decimate him...he is standing over Gabby with a perverse grin on his face...oh dear god, not another graping.

Covert Jay: Chartreuse is groggily getting to his feet, he'll put a stop to this...

Vinegar: And Pierce is now ringside and he's jumped onto the canvas...but now he's caught Chartreuse's attention...and has distracted him from the plight of his HRD Companion...

Lieberjosch: BLACKOUT!!! JET'S KNEE'S CRUSHING THAT PERFECT STOMACH!

Vinegar: He turns and drags Hastings body over Gabby...

Covert Jay: Pierce is going crazy on the canvas, but yet again his buffoonery has cost the HRD dear...

Vinegar: Chartreuse tired of pierce shoves him off the canvas...and turns....and see's the cover...















1.....

















2....





















3!!!

Vinegar: Pierce slides into the ring, and he's screaming at Jet to get in there as he drags Hastings Body off of Gabby...who sits up clutching her ribs as Pierce helps her to her feet....

Lieberjosch: Somers smiling as he climbs into the ring, the smug son of a bitch....

Vinegar: THE TRUTH HURTS!?!?!?!?

Lieberjosch: TO GABBY!?!?!?!?[/b] You dirty turncoat Pierce...Ole' Bob will never forgive you!

The winner of this match, and Number One Contender for the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship...is...NOT[/i] TIIIIITTTTSSSS MMMMAAAAAGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOO!!![/color]

Vinegar: What the hell, Ooley emerging from the ramp with a sick grin on his face...

Lieberjosch: Pierce and Somers are...laughing?

Vinegar: Oh dear god...that's just ruthless....this shouldn't be surprising....

Lieberjosch: They planned this?

Vinegar: The crowd have turned wild, they are not happy. Gabbrielle was easily the most popular member of the HRD, and this...this...professional...gang grape...has them appalled.

Ooley: You know, when Ole' Bob hears an arena full of fans screaming for his head on a stick, when his actions have whipped them up into a frenzy of drooling and screaming, it really does a tell him his made the right decision. Because, believe me, if you were cheering right now, I'd have to seriously consider my fucking planning.

The fact that none of you saw this coming, frankly epitomizes the general consensus that much of our audience has endured a lobotomy at one point in their miserable shit stained lives. To even consider that the ravaged womb of that Rabid Rapist's fuck toy had any place in the Human Resource Department any more is beyond the comprehension of anyone without scrotum puss for braincells.

But I'm sure that many of you want an explanation for what you've just seen, including Tits Magicarrymanyvenerealdiseasesinmydirtyseepingsnatchgoo herself. And while Ole' Bob doesn't owe a single one of you anything, he's feeling in high spirits tonight and why not explain the obvious to a bunch of the mentally retarded, it's an act of humanitarianism.

Vinegar: He's right we shouldn't be shocked, we have known for a long time he's the nastiest piece of work in the industry.

Ooley: It's simple really, every cheap, plastic, hug doll has a shelf life, even those with remarkably lifelike hair. There comes a time when you just have to stop pumping your good stuff into them and cast them aside. That time finally came for Tits at Outlast. That was her chance, her chance to prove that Ole' Bob hadn't made one of those rare things other people are so familiar with, I forget the word it's used so rarely in reference to me, it can also be used to describe pretty much each and every one of you watching right now...that's it...a mistake.

Even with the entire backing of the HRD, the finely tuned group of athletes hand picked by Ole' Bob himself, she failed to even Outlast Trevor in the final match. Even Trevor will admit he's been below par in recent weeks, but hell at least he's achieved something over the time we've been together. All that fucking used up old hag has managed to do is help her Felching Felon keep his belt from the clutches of the Human Resource Department.

Speaking of which, you might be wondering where the HRD's formidable Cooperative Champion ar? And lets just say, they're finishing off what they started earlier. And if that's too subtle for all of you dropped on your heads repeatedly as a child, they're beating the fuck out of Ebola backstage to ensure his boner didn't drive him to try and interupt our little shindig....

BRAP BRAP BRAP![/i]

Lieberjosch: What the hell?

Covert Jay: Boss P!

Vinegar: It is indeed our the HRD's Penguin consultant, but he seems to disagree with this line of action and is shooting his beanbag rounds into the ring as he waddles over the crowd barrier...

Covert Jay: How is that even possible, he's tiny.

Vinegar: Suspend that disbelief, because Jet Somers has just rolled out of the ring...and punted that poor bird into the crowd...

Covert Jay: He didn't have time to strap on his parachute, so that's got to have been a hard landing.

Ooley: And that pathetic image tells the whole fucking story, no-one is willing to stand up for this skank, because she's used up all her good will, just like the elasticity of her cunt. And punting her only ally into the vast drooling underbelly of the crowd, is the solution to all the decay her addled body caused to the HRD.

Jet Somers represents something that was missing from our Supergroup, and Ole' Bob will admit he lacked a certain amount of foresight initially, but that has been rectified now. Not only do we have the most entertaining and skilful workers in the company, now we have the premier Athlete in the entire Industry. We have the pinnacle of Sporting Excellence in our ranks. Travis Pierce, Johnny Blake, Duncan Ryder and now Jet Somers all working under the guidance of Ole' Bob himself! Does anyone really think they stand any fucking chance at all?

Lieberjosch: I have no idea how to process this.

Vinegar: The most pressing question for me is why, the self proclaimed 'Stable Breaker' himself...has sold his soul to the devil? He'd been on a dark path of recent, but I never considered it would end up like this...you'll have to keep tuned in to UGWC.com to see how this unfolds...what a night...I'm speechless...

Ooley: Suckers.

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

Opener
JK

Battle Royal
Hastings

Chaos Championship
Hiro

Main Event
T-Rob

[The Crimson Ghost!]

Tyvola won, vicious monster!

HOLY SHIT I WON! I WON I WON I WON I WON!YES MUTHAFUCKAS!

Hope you liked it, NBK. Sorry, JK.

Whoah. I'm not even involved with what's going on right now, and even I want to do very mean mean vicious things to Ooley. Jet, et tu, Brutus?

So yeah, good shit.

[Jet Somers]

Words cannot describe the sweet sweet taste of this moment.

[The Crimson Ghost!]

Oh yeah, the Flash Mob are fags.

[Alex Kiseragi]

Well, I thought I knew how this one was going to go but that ending really threw me. Nice job.

[Orgabsmic]

I did not see that coming, bravo!

[princerudo]

Interesting, the Somers twist doesn't make much sense at this point but I look forward to seeing what he does with it. And the Flash Mob thing, hmmm, seems a bit familiar cough cough. Lots of cliffhangers to lead towards the end of the year, good stuff.

['The Cyclone' JK]

Hmmmmm......this HRD thing smells a little fishy; something tells me that something big is about to go down. Still, interested to see where it goes.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Fuishy? Not in the slightest, it's straightforward really, Ooley is a pragmatic man, he saw the HRD were floundering and took steps to correct it. I honestly love that guy!

['The Cyclone' JK]

More on part of Somers. Like Rudo, I too also feel that Jets sudden transformation is a little off considdering he's spent the better half of this year leading a battle against the HRD, and just changes with no warning. It makes me think alterior motives are at play here.

Could be wrong, of course, if I am then please disregard.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Obviously I'll let Jet himself explain his decisions, mainly because I'm not 100% on the ins and outs. But I will ask this question.

Has Jet spent the better half of this year leading the battle against the HRD (And I would point out he hasn't solely been focused on just the HRD in this time)? Or has he been waiting for someone to to up that mantle and lead said charge, and he would follow?

I think it makes a bit of a difference.