Post by Red Bull Icon on Jul 25, 2009 21:57:21 GMT -5
(Our scene opens on a muggy southern California afternoon. The air still and stale as the sun continues its unrelenting barrage of orange rays forcing themselves through the thick smoggy Los Angeles air. Still though the grass is green, the trees provide some much needed shade, and the completely tinted windowed front of the building sparkle.
We pan out taking in more of the view to see the ‘U Suk’ mobile parked in front of an unmarked industrial park styled door taking up all of three spaces. Standing off to side, in the well groomed grass, is BoolZ with Conni at his feet. His cigarette in his lips, his Red Bull in his hand, and his leash kept in the truck for the last few days.)
BoolZ; “Come on Conni, just friggen take your dump. I think the office would absolutely throw a fit if you crapped on the floor in front of these Red Bull ad execs.”
(Conni looks up at his new owner, sticks out his tongue to pant, and tilts his head inquisitively. RBI returns the stare, but only long enough for Conni to get distracted and attempt to pounce on a near by low flying bee. The Red Bull Icon takes a drag of his cigarette, finishes off the Red Bull in his hand, and then exhales the plume of white smoke.
BoolZ checks his watch, Conni snaps at the bee teasing his American Red Nosed Pit Bull snout, both unaware of the glass door opening behind them. She’s of average height, slightly thick but only in the absolutely best places, and her hair a messy mix of brunette with blonde highlights or perhaps blonde with brunette streaks. The glasses over her green eyes do little to hide the look of concern covering her face. In an instant she looks around, locks her eyes on BoolZ, and her expression turns to relief.)
Lady; “Oh good, you are here!”
(She catches the duo unaware as Conni halts his pursuit momentarily to look to the lady, dismiss her presence, and returns to the hunt. BoolZ turns to face her, looks to his right and left for the person she must be talking to, and comes to the conclusion that it’s him she’s after.
She quickly approaches RBI, her hand extended, and now a crooked smile crosses her pierced bottom lip. BoolZ, shifts his Red Bull into his left hand, meets her handshake, and introduces himself.)
BoolZ; “Randy Boolzian. Yeah, we’ve been here a few minutes I guess. I didn’t know how long this was gonna take, so I was trying to get Conni to go.”
Lady; “Oh I know who you are. Hi, I’m Melissa, but everyone calls me Mel. I’m like a big fan.”
BoolZ; “Oh, it’s always a pleasure to meet a fan.”
Mel; “Well you’re kind of late, and Alex is pulling his hair out inside.”
BoolZ; “Alright, who’s Alex?”
Mel; “Alex is the director. Why don’t we head in, and I’ll introduce you? He won’t say it, but I think he’s a big fan too. He was the one that pitched the idea of contacting the GIW to get your services.”
BoolZ; “Nice, well then Mel why don’t you lead the way?”
(Melissa leads BoolZ to the door as RBI whistles to Conni who instantly follows his master. BoolZ taking the last few steps rather quickly beats Mel to the door, he opens it for her, and before she can enter Conni rushes in with wagging tail. Melissa looks at BoolZ who shrugs his shoulders, and she enters.
Instantly the air conditioning envelopes us chills us straight to our core. Inside we witness the assault of the overhead fluorescent lighting as it feeds and nourishes the overgrown and unkempt forest of electrical wiring that covers the floor. The tiny phone booth sized sound booth provides our only sanctuary from the overwhelming flood from the central air vents.)
Mel; “Why don’t we get Consequences settled, and then I’ll introduce you.”
BoolZ; “Wow, you must be a fan. Yeah, what do ya have a room or something?”
Mel; “Uhm, no what we see is what we got. This is the only room. Well this and the bathroom. We’ve set up a place for him though.”
BoolZ; “Alright cool. Hey do I get some free Red Bull for this or something?”
Mel: “We’ll see what we can do.”
(Leading RBI and Conni over to the corner she brings us to a small wire mesh kennel set up. She unhinges one of the sides, and opens it for entry. Conni clearly does not want to enter. Not the water bowl, not the rubber Red Bull chew toy, or the comfortable looking pet bed are enough to coax the animal in.
Conni staying as close to BoolZ as possible cowers behind his right leg. BoolZ finishing his Red Bull, crunching the can, and placing it in his back pocket looks on at the set up. After a second of awkward silence looks at Melissa, back at Conni, and finally back to the cage.)
BoolZ; “Oh yeah, that’s not gonna work for us. I mean Conni is free spirit type of animal. You can’t just lock him up in a cage. He needs room to roam, open up his engines, he needs to be able to move a little. You can’t just confine him into such a little space, and expect him to be happy.”
Mel; “Well, this is kind of the only space for him. I don’t really think Alex would appreciate him running around with all this equipment.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, well I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Come on Conni, I’ll try to make this quick.”
(BoolZ takes Conni by the collar and leads him into the kennel. Conni instantly begins whining as BoolZ exits the dog run. Mel quickly closes the door, and Conni erupts in a panic induced urge to escape. BoolZ does what he can to try to comfort and pacify the situation to no avail.
Mel looks on inquisitively perhaps pondering her next idea. RBI looks at her with a clear look of unhappiness. Conni continues doing what ever he can to escape his imprisonment. Melissa gets a bit of a smirk across her face, and walks off.)
Mel; “I know. Hold on I’ll be right back.
BoolZ; “Conni, listen I know you hate this. I don’t blame you one bit, but I don’t see too much of a choice. I can’t just let you run around outside without someone lookin’ after ya. I can’t just put you in the truck. I mean it’s just to hot. I’m sorry dude, but I think you’re gonna have to make do.”
(Melissa returns from across the room. In her right hand are two Red Bull stack on top of each other, in her left hand a pack of Oscar Meyer hot dogs, she hands the Red Bull to BoolZ, and opens the hot dogs before tossing them into the cage.
BoolZ takes the Red Bull, a smile almost makes it to his face, but is cut off by the ‘pop’ and then icy cold chug of Red Bull. Conni takes a brief moment to halt his attempts at freedom long enough to begin chewing the cold hot dogs.)
Mel; “Yep, I thought that’d work. Just had to figure out what might ya’ll happy. Come on, I’ll check on Conni, but we have to get this rolling. If you’ll follow me Alex is right up here.”
BoolZ; “Hey thanks, and I might need a few more of these.”
Mel; “Well just me know, and I’ll get them for ya. We’ll also probably be able to let you into the fridge when we’re done.”
(The two of them continue a few more feet from the cage, and approach a pair of young men sitting behind a soundboard. The first with short bleached hair scowls and looks down as he listens intently to the other side of his cell phone. The other a clean shaven bald man leans over the soundboard, double checks his laptop computer, and then looks up at Mel and BoolZ.
As they continue a few more feet Mel points to the man on the phone, and then the guy at the computer. BoolZ slowly takes in more and more of the sights even dropping back a step to give the appropriate attention to Mel’s full round rear.)
Mel; “Alright the punk on the phone is Alex. He’s the director, and a real pain in the ass. Mike is the guy at the computer. He’s a good guy who just wants to get the job done, and go home to his family. He’ll be your engineer.”
BoolZ; “Got it. Ass and family.”
(Close enough now to hear what Alex is saying into the phone BoolZ extends his hand to Mike for introductions.)
Alex(into phone); “No, no, I don’t think it’ll be any problem. I got Melissa with him, and she’s got a talent for getting people to pull through.”
BoolZ; “Mike is it? Good to meet you.”
Mike; “Pleasure. You ever laid down a radio spot before?”
BoolZ; “No, you know what I…”
Alex(hanging up the phone.); “Alex! It’s great to finally meet you Mr. Bowlshein. I was preying I’d get this assignment. I’m a huge fan of yours, it really is a pleasure to finally meet you.”
(BoolZ looks at Alex who is sporting a cheesy game show host grin, then to Mike who shakes his head and returns to his equipment, and then back to Melissa who can’t help herself but to chuckle.)
Mel; “Uhm, I think I’m going to go check on Conni.”
Alex; “Alright, yeah good, thorough that’s why you’re the best Mel! So Mr. Bowlshein have you ever done a radio commercial before?”
(Bewildered BoolZ looks at Mike who keeps his head down, then back to Mel who is rubbing Connis belly trying to keep him quiet.)
BoolZ; “No, I havn’t, but I think I be al…”
Alex; “Oh well don’t worry. I’ve gotten a lot out people who hadn’t done this before. There’s really nothing to it, you’ll be fine. I think the first thing to do is get you in the booth, and lay down are level check.”
BoolZ; “You know I think you’re the first fan that really didn’t like.”
(Alex forces a laugh. We think, that might have actually been his real laugh but it seemed quite fake.)
Alex; “Yeah I just got off the phone with the GIW headquarters. They said you have a bit of an unusual sense of humor. So hey, why don’t you go ahead, and get in the booth. It’s pretty self explanatory. Put the head set on, talk into the mic, and we’ll be able to talk to you through your ear phones.”
(A wave or relief washes over the Red Bull Icon, as he nods, and turns to enter the soundproof booth. We see him put on the head phones, and shut the door. Alex reaches down to the soundboard, pulls a microphone close to his mouth, and then looks at Mike.)
Alex; “Got it figured out Mike-o?”
Mike; “Yeah, I think we’re set boss.”
Alex(pushing a button and talking into the mic.); “Alright, Bulls-Eye, we need to get a level first, then there should be a script on that podium in front of you. Why don’t you say something into the mic, then we’ll call ya, and you just gotta read off the paper.”
BoolZ; “What, just say anything?”
(Looking at Mike, who checks some date, and then responding.)
Alex; “Yeah, that should work. We’re checking the levels now.”
(BoolZ takes a moment to read over the script, Conni continues playing with the dog, Alex hangs over the shoulder of Mike, and Mike looks back up to Alex.)
Mike; “No, something’s wrong. All we got was static.”
(Alex looks across the room at Melissa.)
Alex; “Mel? I thought I told you to make sure everything was set up? What happened, Melly?”
(Looking up from Conni.)
Mel; “What, I did Alex. It all checked out before you showed up. You didn’t hit a button when you put your feet up on the board did ya?”
Alex; “Mellon, I’ve been doing this for 8 months now, I think I know my way around a soundboard thank you. Maybe if you weren’t to busy setting up that kennel, or loading up on Red Bull, or checking your hair for the fiftieth time you would have set up right.”
Mel; “What ever Alex.”
Mike; “Alex everything is hooked up right, there must be a frayed wire somewhere. Give me a couple minutes, and I’ll get it working.”
(Alex upset at the delay, and frustrated at his lack of understanding, returns his attention to the booth. BoolZ with a disgusted look on his face finishes reading the script, and drinking the first Red Bull Mel handed him.)
Alex; “Hey Bullducket, bro, why don’t you come on out here. It looks like something was connected right, and Mike has to check over the system again. Go ahead and take five.”
(BoolZ exits the booth, pops open the second can Mel gave him, and looks at Alex.)
BoolZ; “Man, who wrote that crap? Why is it when ever a wrestler gets signed up for a commercial, they always wanna do a poorly written wrestling spot. I mean have ya’ll even seen the GIW? No one is any different off screen than on, so why would Costello be searching for a way to pep me up after a grueling match? She’d just laugh her leaky gutter ass off, put me in some outlandish match, and sarcastically wish me luck. I’m telling ya that’s your spot. I don’t think I can go on, she comes in all bitchy, makes this incredibly unfair match, and then I need the Red Bull to pump me up. None of this corny, ‘do it for your fans, buddy’ bullshit.”
Alex; “Always the joker huh? But no seriously the copy’s good. It’s what my bosses want.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, whatever. I’ll be with Conni, come get me when you’re ready.”
(BoolZ walks over to the Conni and Mel, open the gate letting Conni out, and then the two start for the door.)
BoolZ; “Mel, I need a smoke. We’ll be outside.”
Mel; “Oh, well hold on I’ll join ya.”
(BoolZ opens the door for Mel, Conni again runs through first, BoolZ shrugs as Mel walks out, and then RBI follows. Once outside, he quickly lights his cigarette, offers to light Mels, and Conni again begins chasing bees.)
BoolZ; “Man, what a douche that Alex kid is huh?”
Mel; “Oh you have no idea. I guess it helps when you’re related to the guy that signs all the checks.”
BoolZ; “I mean, help me out. How do you work with little cuss?”
Mel; “I don’t. I work for Mike, they keep sending different project managers to us to get their tape. After that, they’re gone, and we get a new assignment. It’s really only when a celebrity’s involved do we get Alex showing up. ”
BoolZ; “Well that doesn’t sound so back I guess. Wait celebrity? Who’s my co-star?”
Mel(chuckling); “No, it’s just you. I told you I’m a huge fan of yours, and so now I need your help. I’m a little confused with some of the stuff in the GIW.”
BoolZ; “Oh, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I mean one week he’s looking for his mommas killer, then he’s being followed by a zombie, then he’s going to single handedly bring down Global Domination, then he’s in a stable, then he’s out of the stable, now he’s got his own little stable. I mean what the hell?”
(She exhales her menthol Newport, he inhales his Marlboro Blend 27, and she responds.)
Mel; “No, no, that’s not what I was talking about.”
BoolZ; “Oh, alright then it must have been the Dread Pirate Roberts. I mean there he was talking to penguins, talking about a revolution, a TWiSTeD revolution, talking to penguins and badgers about how they have to revolt against Global Domination, then he gets left in the forest, and now he’s running for president. What?
And why is so hard to recognize that Global Domination is already dead, and it died at the hands of Brown, Austin, and myself. I mean where was the rest of the roster when the three of us did nothing but hand GD lose after lose for their first like forever. We beat them in the ring, we ignored them out of the ring, and boom. I mean the fans don’t care, Komosube and Aragato moved on, Savage is scared or ashamed to show his face, and it’s just Declan now and Cara’s glorified body guards now.”
(She shakes her head slightly, he drinks heavily, and Conni chases tirelessly.)
Mel; “No, I followed all that. What’s going on between you and Austin? You hate each other, your buddy buddy, you hate each other, and he’s kind of apologizing?”
(He finishes the Red Bull, switches places with that can and a full can he had in his cargo shorts, takes a drink, and responds.)
BoolZ; “Oh, that. I wouldn’t say he was apologizing, and I never said he had to. That’s nothing to be confused over. I mean he lost his title. I didn’t win it from him, and he a little frustrated I think. I mean I’m not going to speak for Chris, but I always figured I’d be there when he came down. I mean that’s what buddies do right? He was goin’ though some shit, I couldn’t help, hell I’d probably only make it worse, so I figured better to keep my distance, couldn’t help but vent a little, but I always had his back.
And that’s really what it comes down to, and really what we both needed. I mean I don’t think a lot of people really see what’s going on, and the roll Cara and Declan play in all this. They wanted the title off of Austin because they knew it’d through him into a tailspin. What better way to do it than stack the deck against him. Then to keep him just off enough to distract him, put me in last knowing I’d probably pull through, take the title, and put myself in his sights.
Then just make it worse, put him in the booth when I face Big B, put us against each other and Great White last week, and now put me in his corner this week. I mean they knew after Guerilla Warfare Austin needed a match. He needed a win, so why not screw with is head and make him watch me wrestle. Then they knew I couldn’t stand by and watch Austin win a match I was in, he couldn’t watch me wrestle again, so give us Great White to face while both of us doing what it took to win against each other. Then this week put me in his corner. That way he knows about his losing streak now, so they’re hoping he wins, thinks he did it because I was there, and continues doubting himself. Or better yet still, they hope I pose enough of a distraction that he loses, blames me, and forgets all about Cara. It’s not that confusing, it’s not even that elaborate, it’s just a bad idea cooked up by the remains of Global Domination.
I’ll tell ya the worse part though, and I don’t think they really put much thought to it. You see eventually Chris and I will be back to who we were. Back to what we do, and we’ll be a stronger pairing than before. And eventually after we know which one of us deserves to wear that Hardcore championship, you gotta know we’re not just gonna let their little scheme go.”
(As perfect as timing gets Mike opens the door as Mel snuffs out her cigarette.)
Mike; “We’re about ready to give it another go.”
(Mel nods, and begins to the door. BoolZ whistles for Conni who comes running, Mike still holding the door open for Mel, but Conni again beats her to the inside. Mel looks back to BoolZ, catches him checking her out, he shrugs his shoulders unaware he was caught, she enters, BoolZ motions for Mike to go first, and finally BoolZ re-enters the studio. Mel follows Mike to the soundboard as BoolZ takes his place inside the sound booth.)
Alex; “Alright buddy, why don’t we try that level check again.”
BoolZ; “Just say anything again?”
Alex; “Yeah, that’s good.”
(Mike begins looking over his data and listening to the playback as Mel gets a concerned concentrated look on her face as she tries to hear something in the static.)
Alex; “Damnit, more static!?!”
Mike; “Hey Alex, man I don’t know what say? He must have a bad mic or something, I checked everything myself this time.”
(As Mike and Alex converse, Mel takes Mikes headphones, and begins repeating the white noise from the recording. BoolZ in the booth looks at the three of them at the soundboard, motions with his hands for what’s going on, and then he starts looking around the room for Conni. Off in the corner there’s a flash, and a loud yelp as Conni comes running. BoolZ opens the door as everyone but Mel looks over to the wet spot surrounded by electrical cables.)
BoolZ; “Damnit Conni, who told you to wiz on the electric fence?”
Alex; “Shit, Mel I thought you were keeping that dog in the kennel!”
(Mel lost in the recording remains oblivious to the conversation.)
Mike; “Hey Alex we should probably just call it a day. I think without a new mic, and now whatever just got ruined it’s no use trying to continue.”
(BoolZ tries to again comfort Conni.)
Alex; “Yeah, I guess your right. Damnit, my uncle’s gonna be pissed.”
BoolZ; “So we’re free to go?”
Alex; “Yeah, yeah, we’ll call Cara or Declan when we can reschedule.”
BoolZ; “Nice, so what about that free Red Bull?”
Alex; “Oh, yeah, Mel why don’t you give him a hand. I gotta call the office.”
(Mel lost in the recording didn’t hear Alex. Alex lost in thought looking for an excuse didn’t notice Mel not moving. Mike taps Mel on the shoulder who jumps startled.)
Mike; “Mel you alright? What were you grooving to static?”
Mel; “I think I hear something on it.”
Mike; “Yeah just like the last time. Hey can you show him out?”
BoolZ; “Yeah, show me. And the Red Bull.”
Mel; “Uhm, yeah, it right over here.”
(BoolZ, Conni, and Mel all walk over to a large refrigerator as Mike puts on the headset to re-listen to the nothingness again prompting our scene to come to a close.)
We pan out taking in more of the view to see the ‘U Suk’ mobile parked in front of an unmarked industrial park styled door taking up all of three spaces. Standing off to side, in the well groomed grass, is BoolZ with Conni at his feet. His cigarette in his lips, his Red Bull in his hand, and his leash kept in the truck for the last few days.)
BoolZ; “Come on Conni, just friggen take your dump. I think the office would absolutely throw a fit if you crapped on the floor in front of these Red Bull ad execs.”
(Conni looks up at his new owner, sticks out his tongue to pant, and tilts his head inquisitively. RBI returns the stare, but only long enough for Conni to get distracted and attempt to pounce on a near by low flying bee. The Red Bull Icon takes a drag of his cigarette, finishes off the Red Bull in his hand, and then exhales the plume of white smoke.
BoolZ checks his watch, Conni snaps at the bee teasing his American Red Nosed Pit Bull snout, both unaware of the glass door opening behind them. She’s of average height, slightly thick but only in the absolutely best places, and her hair a messy mix of brunette with blonde highlights or perhaps blonde with brunette streaks. The glasses over her green eyes do little to hide the look of concern covering her face. In an instant she looks around, locks her eyes on BoolZ, and her expression turns to relief.)
Lady; “Oh good, you are here!”
(She catches the duo unaware as Conni halts his pursuit momentarily to look to the lady, dismiss her presence, and returns to the hunt. BoolZ turns to face her, looks to his right and left for the person she must be talking to, and comes to the conclusion that it’s him she’s after.
She quickly approaches RBI, her hand extended, and now a crooked smile crosses her pierced bottom lip. BoolZ, shifts his Red Bull into his left hand, meets her handshake, and introduces himself.)
BoolZ; “Randy Boolzian. Yeah, we’ve been here a few minutes I guess. I didn’t know how long this was gonna take, so I was trying to get Conni to go.”
Lady; “Oh I know who you are. Hi, I’m Melissa, but everyone calls me Mel. I’m like a big fan.”
BoolZ; “Oh, it’s always a pleasure to meet a fan.”
Mel; “Well you’re kind of late, and Alex is pulling his hair out inside.”
BoolZ; “Alright, who’s Alex?”
Mel; “Alex is the director. Why don’t we head in, and I’ll introduce you? He won’t say it, but I think he’s a big fan too. He was the one that pitched the idea of contacting the GIW to get your services.”
BoolZ; “Nice, well then Mel why don’t you lead the way?”
(Melissa leads BoolZ to the door as RBI whistles to Conni who instantly follows his master. BoolZ taking the last few steps rather quickly beats Mel to the door, he opens it for her, and before she can enter Conni rushes in with wagging tail. Melissa looks at BoolZ who shrugs his shoulders, and she enters.
Instantly the air conditioning envelopes us chills us straight to our core. Inside we witness the assault of the overhead fluorescent lighting as it feeds and nourishes the overgrown and unkempt forest of electrical wiring that covers the floor. The tiny phone booth sized sound booth provides our only sanctuary from the overwhelming flood from the central air vents.)
Mel; “Why don’t we get Consequences settled, and then I’ll introduce you.”
BoolZ; “Wow, you must be a fan. Yeah, what do ya have a room or something?”
Mel; “Uhm, no what we see is what we got. This is the only room. Well this and the bathroom. We’ve set up a place for him though.”
BoolZ; “Alright cool. Hey do I get some free Red Bull for this or something?”
Mel: “We’ll see what we can do.”
(Leading RBI and Conni over to the corner she brings us to a small wire mesh kennel set up. She unhinges one of the sides, and opens it for entry. Conni clearly does not want to enter. Not the water bowl, not the rubber Red Bull chew toy, or the comfortable looking pet bed are enough to coax the animal in.
Conni staying as close to BoolZ as possible cowers behind his right leg. BoolZ finishing his Red Bull, crunching the can, and placing it in his back pocket looks on at the set up. After a second of awkward silence looks at Melissa, back at Conni, and finally back to the cage.)
BoolZ; “Oh yeah, that’s not gonna work for us. I mean Conni is free spirit type of animal. You can’t just lock him up in a cage. He needs room to roam, open up his engines, he needs to be able to move a little. You can’t just confine him into such a little space, and expect him to be happy.”
Mel; “Well, this is kind of the only space for him. I don’t really think Alex would appreciate him running around with all this equipment.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, well I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Come on Conni, I’ll try to make this quick.”
(BoolZ takes Conni by the collar and leads him into the kennel. Conni instantly begins whining as BoolZ exits the dog run. Mel quickly closes the door, and Conni erupts in a panic induced urge to escape. BoolZ does what he can to try to comfort and pacify the situation to no avail.
Mel looks on inquisitively perhaps pondering her next idea. RBI looks at her with a clear look of unhappiness. Conni continues doing what ever he can to escape his imprisonment. Melissa gets a bit of a smirk across her face, and walks off.)
Mel; “I know. Hold on I’ll be right back.
BoolZ; “Conni, listen I know you hate this. I don’t blame you one bit, but I don’t see too much of a choice. I can’t just let you run around outside without someone lookin’ after ya. I can’t just put you in the truck. I mean it’s just to hot. I’m sorry dude, but I think you’re gonna have to make do.”
(Melissa returns from across the room. In her right hand are two Red Bull stack on top of each other, in her left hand a pack of Oscar Meyer hot dogs, she hands the Red Bull to BoolZ, and opens the hot dogs before tossing them into the cage.
BoolZ takes the Red Bull, a smile almost makes it to his face, but is cut off by the ‘pop’ and then icy cold chug of Red Bull. Conni takes a brief moment to halt his attempts at freedom long enough to begin chewing the cold hot dogs.)
Mel; “Yep, I thought that’d work. Just had to figure out what might ya’ll happy. Come on, I’ll check on Conni, but we have to get this rolling. If you’ll follow me Alex is right up here.”
BoolZ; “Hey thanks, and I might need a few more of these.”
Mel; “Well just me know, and I’ll get them for ya. We’ll also probably be able to let you into the fridge when we’re done.”
(The two of them continue a few more feet from the cage, and approach a pair of young men sitting behind a soundboard. The first with short bleached hair scowls and looks down as he listens intently to the other side of his cell phone. The other a clean shaven bald man leans over the soundboard, double checks his laptop computer, and then looks up at Mel and BoolZ.
As they continue a few more feet Mel points to the man on the phone, and then the guy at the computer. BoolZ slowly takes in more and more of the sights even dropping back a step to give the appropriate attention to Mel’s full round rear.)
Mel; “Alright the punk on the phone is Alex. He’s the director, and a real pain in the ass. Mike is the guy at the computer. He’s a good guy who just wants to get the job done, and go home to his family. He’ll be your engineer.”
BoolZ; “Got it. Ass and family.”
(Close enough now to hear what Alex is saying into the phone BoolZ extends his hand to Mike for introductions.)
Alex(into phone); “No, no, I don’t think it’ll be any problem. I got Melissa with him, and she’s got a talent for getting people to pull through.”
BoolZ; “Mike is it? Good to meet you.”
Mike; “Pleasure. You ever laid down a radio spot before?”
BoolZ; “No, you know what I…”
Alex(hanging up the phone.); “Alex! It’s great to finally meet you Mr. Bowlshein. I was preying I’d get this assignment. I’m a huge fan of yours, it really is a pleasure to finally meet you.”
(BoolZ looks at Alex who is sporting a cheesy game show host grin, then to Mike who shakes his head and returns to his equipment, and then back to Melissa who can’t help herself but to chuckle.)
Mel; “Uhm, I think I’m going to go check on Conni.”
Alex; “Alright, yeah good, thorough that’s why you’re the best Mel! So Mr. Bowlshein have you ever done a radio commercial before?”
(Bewildered BoolZ looks at Mike who keeps his head down, then back to Mel who is rubbing Connis belly trying to keep him quiet.)
BoolZ; “No, I havn’t, but I think I be al…”
Alex; “Oh well don’t worry. I’ve gotten a lot out people who hadn’t done this before. There’s really nothing to it, you’ll be fine. I think the first thing to do is get you in the booth, and lay down are level check.”
BoolZ; “You know I think you’re the first fan that really didn’t like.”
(Alex forces a laugh. We think, that might have actually been his real laugh but it seemed quite fake.)
Alex; “Yeah I just got off the phone with the GIW headquarters. They said you have a bit of an unusual sense of humor. So hey, why don’t you go ahead, and get in the booth. It’s pretty self explanatory. Put the head set on, talk into the mic, and we’ll be able to talk to you through your ear phones.”
(A wave or relief washes over the Red Bull Icon, as he nods, and turns to enter the soundproof booth. We see him put on the head phones, and shut the door. Alex reaches down to the soundboard, pulls a microphone close to his mouth, and then looks at Mike.)
Alex; “Got it figured out Mike-o?”
Mike; “Yeah, I think we’re set boss.”
Alex(pushing a button and talking into the mic.); “Alright, Bulls-Eye, we need to get a level first, then there should be a script on that podium in front of you. Why don’t you say something into the mic, then we’ll call ya, and you just gotta read off the paper.”
BoolZ; “What, just say anything?”
(Looking at Mike, who checks some date, and then responding.)
Alex; “Yeah, that should work. We’re checking the levels now.”
(BoolZ takes a moment to read over the script, Conni continues playing with the dog, Alex hangs over the shoulder of Mike, and Mike looks back up to Alex.)
Mike; “No, something’s wrong. All we got was static.”
(Alex looks across the room at Melissa.)
Alex; “Mel? I thought I told you to make sure everything was set up? What happened, Melly?”
(Looking up from Conni.)
Mel; “What, I did Alex. It all checked out before you showed up. You didn’t hit a button when you put your feet up on the board did ya?”
Alex; “Mellon, I’ve been doing this for 8 months now, I think I know my way around a soundboard thank you. Maybe if you weren’t to busy setting up that kennel, or loading up on Red Bull, or checking your hair for the fiftieth time you would have set up right.”
Mel; “What ever Alex.”
Mike; “Alex everything is hooked up right, there must be a frayed wire somewhere. Give me a couple minutes, and I’ll get it working.”
(Alex upset at the delay, and frustrated at his lack of understanding, returns his attention to the booth. BoolZ with a disgusted look on his face finishes reading the script, and drinking the first Red Bull Mel handed him.)
Alex; “Hey Bullducket, bro, why don’t you come on out here. It looks like something was connected right, and Mike has to check over the system again. Go ahead and take five.”
(BoolZ exits the booth, pops open the second can Mel gave him, and looks at Alex.)
BoolZ; “Man, who wrote that crap? Why is it when ever a wrestler gets signed up for a commercial, they always wanna do a poorly written wrestling spot. I mean have ya’ll even seen the GIW? No one is any different off screen than on, so why would Costello be searching for a way to pep me up after a grueling match? She’d just laugh her leaky gutter ass off, put me in some outlandish match, and sarcastically wish me luck. I’m telling ya that’s your spot. I don’t think I can go on, she comes in all bitchy, makes this incredibly unfair match, and then I need the Red Bull to pump me up. None of this corny, ‘do it for your fans, buddy’ bullshit.”
Alex; “Always the joker huh? But no seriously the copy’s good. It’s what my bosses want.”
BoolZ; “Yeah, whatever. I’ll be with Conni, come get me when you’re ready.”
(BoolZ walks over to the Conni and Mel, open the gate letting Conni out, and then the two start for the door.)
BoolZ; “Mel, I need a smoke. We’ll be outside.”
Mel; “Oh, well hold on I’ll join ya.”
(BoolZ opens the door for Mel, Conni again runs through first, BoolZ shrugs as Mel walks out, and then RBI follows. Once outside, he quickly lights his cigarette, offers to light Mels, and Conni again begins chasing bees.)
BoolZ; “Man, what a douche that Alex kid is huh?”
Mel; “Oh you have no idea. I guess it helps when you’re related to the guy that signs all the checks.”
BoolZ; “I mean, help me out. How do you work with little cuss?”
Mel; “I don’t. I work for Mike, they keep sending different project managers to us to get their tape. After that, they’re gone, and we get a new assignment. It’s really only when a celebrity’s involved do we get Alex showing up. ”
BoolZ; “Well that doesn’t sound so back I guess. Wait celebrity? Who’s my co-star?”
Mel(chuckling); “No, it’s just you. I told you I’m a huge fan of yours, and so now I need your help. I’m a little confused with some of the stuff in the GIW.”
BoolZ; “Oh, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I mean one week he’s looking for his mommas killer, then he’s being followed by a zombie, then he’s going to single handedly bring down Global Domination, then he’s in a stable, then he’s out of the stable, now he’s got his own little stable. I mean what the hell?”
(She exhales her menthol Newport, he inhales his Marlboro Blend 27, and she responds.)
Mel; “No, no, that’s not what I was talking about.”
BoolZ; “Oh, alright then it must have been the Dread Pirate Roberts. I mean there he was talking to penguins, talking about a revolution, a TWiSTeD revolution, talking to penguins and badgers about how they have to revolt against Global Domination, then he gets left in the forest, and now he’s running for president. What?
And why is so hard to recognize that Global Domination is already dead, and it died at the hands of Brown, Austin, and myself. I mean where was the rest of the roster when the three of us did nothing but hand GD lose after lose for their first like forever. We beat them in the ring, we ignored them out of the ring, and boom. I mean the fans don’t care, Komosube and Aragato moved on, Savage is scared or ashamed to show his face, and it’s just Declan now and Cara’s glorified body guards now.”
(She shakes her head slightly, he drinks heavily, and Conni chases tirelessly.)
Mel; “No, I followed all that. What’s going on between you and Austin? You hate each other, your buddy buddy, you hate each other, and he’s kind of apologizing?”
(He finishes the Red Bull, switches places with that can and a full can he had in his cargo shorts, takes a drink, and responds.)
BoolZ; “Oh, that. I wouldn’t say he was apologizing, and I never said he had to. That’s nothing to be confused over. I mean he lost his title. I didn’t win it from him, and he a little frustrated I think. I mean I’m not going to speak for Chris, but I always figured I’d be there when he came down. I mean that’s what buddies do right? He was goin’ though some shit, I couldn’t help, hell I’d probably only make it worse, so I figured better to keep my distance, couldn’t help but vent a little, but I always had his back.
And that’s really what it comes down to, and really what we both needed. I mean I don’t think a lot of people really see what’s going on, and the roll Cara and Declan play in all this. They wanted the title off of Austin because they knew it’d through him into a tailspin. What better way to do it than stack the deck against him. Then to keep him just off enough to distract him, put me in last knowing I’d probably pull through, take the title, and put myself in his sights.
Then just make it worse, put him in the booth when I face Big B, put us against each other and Great White last week, and now put me in his corner this week. I mean they knew after Guerilla Warfare Austin needed a match. He needed a win, so why not screw with is head and make him watch me wrestle. Then they knew I couldn’t stand by and watch Austin win a match I was in, he couldn’t watch me wrestle again, so give us Great White to face while both of us doing what it took to win against each other. Then this week put me in his corner. That way he knows about his losing streak now, so they’re hoping he wins, thinks he did it because I was there, and continues doubting himself. Or better yet still, they hope I pose enough of a distraction that he loses, blames me, and forgets all about Cara. It’s not that confusing, it’s not even that elaborate, it’s just a bad idea cooked up by the remains of Global Domination.
I’ll tell ya the worse part though, and I don’t think they really put much thought to it. You see eventually Chris and I will be back to who we were. Back to what we do, and we’ll be a stronger pairing than before. And eventually after we know which one of us deserves to wear that Hardcore championship, you gotta know we’re not just gonna let their little scheme go.”
(As perfect as timing gets Mike opens the door as Mel snuffs out her cigarette.)
Mike; “We’re about ready to give it another go.”
(Mel nods, and begins to the door. BoolZ whistles for Conni who comes running, Mike still holding the door open for Mel, but Conni again beats her to the inside. Mel looks back to BoolZ, catches him checking her out, he shrugs his shoulders unaware he was caught, she enters, BoolZ motions for Mike to go first, and finally BoolZ re-enters the studio. Mel follows Mike to the soundboard as BoolZ takes his place inside the sound booth.)
Alex; “Alright buddy, why don’t we try that level check again.”
BoolZ; “Just say anything again?”
Alex; “Yeah, that’s good.”
(Mike begins looking over his data and listening to the playback as Mel gets a concerned concentrated look on her face as she tries to hear something in the static.)
Alex; “Damnit, more static!?!”
Mike; “Hey Alex, man I don’t know what say? He must have a bad mic or something, I checked everything myself this time.”
(As Mike and Alex converse, Mel takes Mikes headphones, and begins repeating the white noise from the recording. BoolZ in the booth looks at the three of them at the soundboard, motions with his hands for what’s going on, and then he starts looking around the room for Conni. Off in the corner there’s a flash, and a loud yelp as Conni comes running. BoolZ opens the door as everyone but Mel looks over to the wet spot surrounded by electrical cables.)
BoolZ; “Damnit Conni, who told you to wiz on the electric fence?”
Alex; “Shit, Mel I thought you were keeping that dog in the kennel!”
(Mel lost in the recording remains oblivious to the conversation.)
Mike; “Hey Alex we should probably just call it a day. I think without a new mic, and now whatever just got ruined it’s no use trying to continue.”
(BoolZ tries to again comfort Conni.)
Alex; “Yeah, I guess your right. Damnit, my uncle’s gonna be pissed.”
BoolZ; “So we’re free to go?”
Alex; “Yeah, yeah, we’ll call Cara or Declan when we can reschedule.”
BoolZ; “Nice, so what about that free Red Bull?”
Alex; “Oh, yeah, Mel why don’t you give him a hand. I gotta call the office.”
(Mel lost in the recording didn’t hear Alex. Alex lost in thought looking for an excuse didn’t notice Mel not moving. Mike taps Mel on the shoulder who jumps startled.)
Mike; “Mel you alright? What were you grooving to static?”
Mel; “I think I hear something on it.”
Mike; “Yeah just like the last time. Hey can you show him out?”
BoolZ; “Yeah, show me. And the Red Bull.”
Mel; “Uhm, yeah, it right over here.”
(BoolZ, Conni, and Mel all walk over to a large refrigerator as Mike puts on the headset to re-listen to the nothingness again prompting our scene to come to a close.)
