Synergy #57 Results - November 28, 2011

[Lord Hastings]

Lights.

Camera.

Action.

Yep, that's right folks it's another Robcapped show brought to you by the team that clearly need a break already. Now this may not even reach the heights of previous Robcapped shows, because in all honesty I am beyond tired, and in a great deal of pain after injuring my foot in an alcohol related catastrophe, So in many ways your getting the bare minimum from me, which may be a good thing, or a bad thing.

Why is it any of you are sticking around through this, I've [i[truly[/i] sucked for the past month or so. Well I do appreciate it, and hope that Horizons will make up for my dreadful behaviour the last few weeks. But of course, we'd still REALLY appreciate volunteers to take on some of the matches.

Anyway, clearly the commentary team have been wetting themselves in anticipation of this, the last show before Horizons and a month long break. I am certain of this because any self-respecting match writer would ensure that they could fill space with details of the upcoming show and PPV and it would require zero effort on their part.

Then Marek makes his way to the ring, and the team discuss whether it is a surprise that he has found himself in Ezekiel's shadow, when it might have been expected to have happened the other way round at the apex of their Tag team career. No consensus can be found because Covert Jay goes into a rant about False Idol's and Dragon's.

Speaking of Dragon's, anyone playing Skyrim? I know Steve's not, but we all know Steve isn't actually a human being, he's a large gay hippopotamus with the ability to type, who when read a preview of the game said 'Don't see anything special'. That's his opinion, and he's entitled to it, but he happens to be wrong. My Legendary Dragon Armour is truly something to behold.

Anyway I mention Skyrim because it's more relevant to this match than either Enigma or Ethan King, who both manage to get jumped backstage before even making it to the ring. Both Pierce and Duncan Ryder ambush them as they wait to head out to their match. Why? Well, why not, this is a 'Wrestling' show, apparently if you're jumped from behind in a corridor it does double damage to your health when compared to a similar move inside the ring.

Marek wins the match by default, but is clearly not happy with that, he was late to the arena, but god damn did he run fast to make it for this match, and he'll be damned if he doesn't hit somebody. So he charges backstage, and without hesitation finds Pierce and slams a flying Missile Kick into his head, snapping his neck back awkwardly in a manner that will help Steve when writing the Main Event later tonight.

And that's it for this first match, now you've got me twice more tonight, so this really is a great match to set your expectation levels by, because this match actually had a lil' bit of storyline and narrative hidden beneath the stream of conscience, the others may not be able to reach those giddy heights.

[Lord Hastings]

We see Ezekiel Pax walking backstage. He passes by Roxy Malone and stops in his tracks.

Ezekiel: Hey, Roxy, want to see a quick impression?

He rolls his eyes back in his head and pretends to convulse until bursting into laughter at the look of disgust on Roxy's face.

Ezekiel: No, but seriously, I hope your husband feels better soon. Hey, when you're on top, do you turn on a disco light and set him off, use him like a vibrator?

Roxy storms off in a huff and Ezekiel laughs to himself as he turns and comes face to mask with the Natural Born Killer. The High Flyer steps back with a jolt and balls his fist, ready to fight. But a black stick emerges from the shadows and pulls the Killer back. Prince Rudo steps forward.

Rudo: I wasn't sure if you would be able to hear me later over the sound of My Killer destroying you, so I wanted to tell you now how glad I am that we will finally get to put this whole unpleasantness to rest at Horizons. Not because I believe in absolution or moving on, but because you reek of cannabis and desperation, and I've had to burn three suits since coming into contact with you. We'll see you out there, ch...ha, I almost said champ. Silly me.

Rudo pulls the Killer away, leaving Ezekiel alone, smirking and shaking his head.

Vinegar: One half of the Cooperative Champions will meet his challengers in the ring next. Hans, what do you make of the journey Chris Peterson has undertaken this year?

Lieberjosch: We've basically seen a boy grow into a man, Nicholas. Changing tutelage from Kiseragi to Hastings was the greatest thing that could have happened to him.

"When They Come For Me" by Linkin Park

As the music plays, Deimos and Fernandez come out to the stage, Fernandez with the Mallet of Doom (tm) slung over his shoulders. Fernandez shouts into the crowd and circles around Deimos as Deimos is more focused on the ring on their walk down the ramp. Deimos enters the ring and Fernandez stands on the apron, thrusting the Mallet into the air as red, white, and blue pyros explode around the ring.

Jay: Ctrl+V, FTW.

Dennis: Ladies and the gentlemen, the following contest is a Cooperative Match set for one fall. Intoducing first, the team of Alan Fernandez and Phrixus Deimos....FREEEEAK SHOOOOW CEEENTRAAAAL!

Vinegar: FSC get their final chance at the Cooperative Belts at Horizons, by order of the Consortium.

Lieberjosch: That's right, Nick, the losing team will be forced to disband. And without Deimos to guide him, Fernandez will likely retreat back into his old life of video games and ineptitude. So there's a lot at stake.

AC/DC “Back in Black”

Christopher Peterson steps onto the stage without his usual armor. After a moment, the track is cut short and replaced by “Ripper.” Donovan Hastings steps onto the ramp, tosses aside his cloak and gestures to Chris to walk down the aisle.

Dennis: And their opponents, the team of Christopher Peterson and the Lord of Pain, DONOVAAAAN HAAAASTIIIINGS!

Vinegar: The Lord of Pain meanwhile has the deadly Dragon's Cave match looming large in the back of his mind.

Lieberjosch: More like right at the forefront. It's his chance to rid Alex Kiseragi of his livelihood once and for all, so you have to know that he's been picking over every angle like the master strategist he is.

Jay: Watch the Freaks!

Vinegar: Fernandez and Deimos come bounding off the ropes...Planchas in stereo! Hastings and Peterson are flattened on the outside of the ring, they didn't see it coming.

Lieberjosch: Of course they didn't see it coming, Nick, that's a flagrant sneak attack before the match even begins!

Vinegar: Freak Show Central has been in a bit of a rough patch lately, Hans, and I think they're sending out the message to everyone in the back that you still can't ever take them lightly. Phrixus hammering on the back of Lord Hastings while Alan whips the young Peterson into and over the ring steps. Chris stumbling back to his feet, here charges Fernandez who steps onto the stairs and launches himself over to deliver a springing knee to the face!

Lieberjosch: Meanwhile that other cheater Deimos lifts up Hastings and deposits him chin-first on the barricade! The Lord recovers and checks that his teeth haven't been chipped by that despicable act, Fear has pulled himself up onto the apron... Asai moonsault! He lands on Hastings and they both barrel over into the front row!

Jay: That's why those seats cost more. Insurance.

Vinegar: The Talk of the Town deposits Peterson onto the arena floor with a hard back drop, official Sam Green can do nothing except admonish the participants to get into the ring so the match proper can begin. Chris rolls himself up and props his back against the barricade, Fernandez not giving him any time to catch his breath and charges in with another knee to the face, smashing him against the wall.

Lieberjosch: Hastings manages to stave off Deimos momentarily with a patented Superkick...

Vinegar: Thumb to the eye...

Lieberjosch: SUPERKICK. And he climbs back over the barricade. But the Phucking Phreak, who is also a Phucking Cheap Shot Artist, phollows behind and stands up on the barricade.

Jay: The balance of a ninja.

Lieberjosch: Hastings turns around and Deimos leaps off, headscissors whip into the side of the ring. Deimos now grabs the Lord's arm and pulls it under the ring apron skirt, using it as a fulcrum for a painful looking armbar maneuver.

Vinegar: Alan drives the Black Knight's spine into the ring post and then slams him onto the floor. A lot of frustration is coming out of the Freak Show tonight, Hans.

Lieberjosch: I think you mean their true nature is coming out. I never bought these guys as heroes, and clearly they are really just as bad as Tyvola. Thank God for decent upstanding citizens like Prince Rudo, Duncan Ryder and Travis Pierce.

Vinegar: Donovan has used his free arm to elbow his way out of that predicament he was in, but Phrixus goes right back on the offensive with that snapmare takeover followed by a kick to the spine.

Lieberjosch: Sam Green has clearly lost control of this situation, and he calls to the back for another official to come help. And the call is answered by Senior Official Owen Peterson! Finally, a referee with the skill to get this match back on track.

Vinegar: Who just so happens to be the personal friend of Donovan Hastings and grandfather of The Black Knight?

Lieberjosch: Hey, don't doubt the man's professionalism.

Jay: He's got a love slave!

Vinegar: Umm......I think Jay might be right, Owen is leading some one on a chain to the ring.

Lieberjosch: Is that Tyvola?

Vinegar: No, I think I remember hearing Owen complain about having to give a bath to someone named NoTyvola, it must be some random hobo?

Jay: What the hell goes on at Hastings' house?

Vinegar: He doesn't seem to be attacking anyone, he looks a little bewildered and he's not exactly the most imposing physical figure. But he is attracting the attention of both members of Freak Show Central, giving Hastings and Chris a chance to catch their breath.

Lieberjosch: Both of them are reaching under the ring. What does the Lord of Pain have in his hand?

Jay: My emergency Twinkie!

Vinegar: You hide Twinkies under the ring?

Jay: I get sleepy if my blood sugar gets too low.

Lieberjosch: Deimos turns around, Hastings smashes it into his face and smears the cream all over his face! Deimos stumbles around ringside, his vision obscured, but I think the hobo can smell the foodstuff, he tackles him to the ground and starts...licking his face?

Vinegar: Meanwhile Peterson has found a cattle prod! That must have been packed in with the ring gear after the Battleground match! He jabs Fernandez with it! The Talk of the Town collapses to the ground.

Jay: I'm the Mountie, I'm handsome and brave and strong...

Lieberjosch: Brilliant!

Vinegar: Wow, your ethics just blow my mind sometimes. Peterson rolls Alan back into the ring, and Sam Green reluctantly calls for the bell now that there are competitors to start the match. Chris with the lateral press.

1


2


Lierbosch: What?!

Vinegar: Fernandez still manages to kick out! He's taken more than one shot with a cattle prod and kept going before.

Lieberjosch: But a Flesh Wound seals the deal, there's another cover.


1


2


3

DING DING!

Dennis: Here are your winners, Chris Peterson and Donovan Hastings!

Vinegar: Peterson and Hastings were looking ahead at their big Horizons matches and almost lost sight of their match this evening. Peterson will not be able to rely on the luck of finding a cattle prod at Horizons.

Lieberjosch: But Hastings proved that he always has a back-up plan, Nicholas. Alex Kiseragi may think he has the advantage going in to the Dragon's Cave match, but you never know what cunning ruses may be lurking in the back of the Lord of Pain's mind.

Jay: I know he owes me a damn Twinkie.

Vinegar: Up next, Ezekiel Pax takes on The Natural Born Killer, and Pax's Horizons opponent Prince Rudo will be at ringside!

Jay: So don't go clicking over to porn.

[Lord Hastings]

Well at least one match before the Main Event won't suck, thanks to whomever wrote that, not that I don't know just once again I don't want to negate the credits.

OK, so for any of you worrying that Robcaps might become an ever increasing part of the UGWC world, it is a possibility I'm not going to lie to you. End of the day there is only so much I can do, but it won't always be quite this horrific. But, just to let you all in on a secret, I do have an idea for how to do these going forward next year, in a way that might be interesting and fitting at the same time. Or it might be shite, who knows?

Anyway this next match, also has some narrative. Obviously we have the feud between Ezekiel Pax and Prince Rudo which will culminate in a Hell in the Cell match at Horizons. Now let's get this straight, right here, I did not make this match to punish either competitor. Now it might seem like I have weighted the match in Rudo's favour, as he is very skilled at portraying other peoples characters, but I did this for another reason. It's always interesting to see how others perceive your own character, and Rudo is rarely used in other peoples work. Given how closely the two have worked togetehr the past month or so I can't think of anyone better to try this than Bryan.

Also, Ty, A-Kis and Myself all had to suffer through this hell 3 years ago, and it's never been repeated since, so it's someone else's turn to be tortured.

Anyway, another sub-plot is the fact NBK has been missing ina ction for a good month now and yet still seem's to get put on cards. Not only is this a strange step by us, but it is also wearing Rudo's patience thin as the demented sewer dweller is making him look bad, and this match is his last chance to salvage anything from his relationship with the Prince.

And I think we all know exactly how that goes, Ezekiel Pax is without doubt one of the most dangerous competitors in UGWC, and you have to be on top of your game to beat him. He makes the occasional misstep in terms of timing, but still will deliver on his own expectations, and if your not focused on him he will take you out.

And take NBK out he does, and relatively quickly, whilst laughing at Rudo for the pathetic company he keeps. When he has finished toying with NBK, he just shakes his head whilst laughing as he exits the ring.

But this is not over, as Ezekiel exits to the backm, the lights go off, and then when they arise the entire Circle are stood in the ring around NBK, and then Rudo gives the signal and they beat the living shit out of NBK, taking it in turns to inflict as much pain as is humanly possible, which granted he probably enjoys, but it s4evres to send a message. NBK has failed Prince Rudo for the final time, and he won't have the opportunity to do so again.

Heading into horizons The prince can focus entirely on defending his title, rather than cleaning up his name after shame is put upon it.

[Lord Hastings]

So this is the third and final Robcap, and it's sad as the two peep's I'm writing it for have contributed so much to this fed, that it seems harsh.

But it can't be helped, and I'm not even going to attempt to write an actual match that's just preposterous.

Anyway this match has it's own intrigue, given Alex Kiseragi has never been a fan of getting down with the ladies in the ring. He has apparently convinced himself that fighting Calypso Desmona though does not shame his own honour code. It might be because he does not consider her a person more an extension of Donovan's madness, or it may be because he knows something we all don't know about what's under Cal's skirt, and lets be fair if anyone was going to get that kind of info it would be Kiseragi.

I know, I know, I just couldn't help myself. That's the only one for this whole recap.

I'm not really sure why Calypso migth want to fight A-Kis, cause despite her relationship with Donovan she hasn't ever really displayed any tendencies to really give a fuck about anything he says. She knows that's how he likes her, because nobody else calls him on his shit, I mean seriously, [no-one cared when he declared himself Chief Nigga after losing the right to be named that. So it would strike me as odd for her to go after Kiseragi.

Although saying that she and Chris have grown closer as a team, and it could be the mothering instinct in her and her displeasure at Kiseragi's treatment of Chris. Although he wasn't treated particularly badly, but after spending so much time with Donny a bit of the delusion must rub off on you.

Not that it makes much difference. You see A-Kis has had a relxed year by his standards, other characters have been getting more air time which has meant he's had plenty of time to hone himself in his Cave, and it's done a great job. The crowd are even more enthusiatic to see him on each appearance, and his physical condition is just superb.

This does not bode well for Calypso, and so it unfolds that A-Kis' speed and technique are just too much for her to cope with and he runs rings around her for the majority of the match. It frustrates her so much she resorts to scratching and hair pulling to try and get any way back into the match, biut it is to no avail. She is floored with a Yari Kick that would fell a large gay hippopotamus, and gets a convincing three count.

Tellingly Donovan is not at ringside, could this have a deeper meaning, or could I have neglected to consider that he might have come to support/find a way to cheat ahead of Horizons. Maybe we'll find out next week. I doubt we'll get an explanation in the Main Event, which is up next!

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: It's hard to believe we are only one week away from Horizons!

Lieberjosch: The card has finally come together, and a more epic set of matches has perhaps never graced the squared-circle.

Covert Jay: Rundown time!

Vinegar: Horizons is a showcase event, this year is no different, and Chaos Champion Abigail Knight defends against 'The Cyclone' JK, assuming, that is, that JK makes it to the event!

Lieberjosch: For the second consecutive year, a G$10,000,000 purse is up for grabs, with six hungry Entertainment Professionals all vying for a career-changing win!

Covert Jay: The legendary team of Freak Show Central challenge for the Cooperative Championship against the Mistress and her Indentured Servant!

Vinegar: That's a little offensive.

Covert Jay: I don't see that in your script.

Lieberjosch: The Cross-Hemisphere Championship crosses the darkness into the depths of hell, as Ezekiel Pax challenges Prince Rudo in a Hell in a Cell Match!

Vinegar: There may never have been a match more personal, as Alex Kiseragi takes on Donovan Hastings in a Dragon's Cave Match, with the Dragon's Cave itself on the line!

Covert Jay: DRRRAGGONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Vinegar: And, of course, the headlining event, the World Heavyweight Champion, Tyvola, faces perhaps his biggest threat to his reign yet, with Gabrielle Montgomery and Jet Somers both challenging for the championship!

Covert Jay: But that's next week, as it's time for our main event!

'Come Together'

The lights go out and a red glow comes from under the ramp as Tyvola lumbers out from the back and comes down the ramp to the ring.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Handicap Match and is your main event of the evening! Introducing first, he is the reigning World Heavyweight Champion, the Jackal of Jwar Isle, TYYYVOOOLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Lieberjosch: I'm not sure it's fair to have to compete in a match with a handicap like this just a week before Horizons.

Vinegar: You don't like that Tyvola has to face four people?

Lieberjosch: I feel bad for them that's there's only four of them.

'You Know My Name'

The stage pyros explode as the music starts, and as it softens Travis Pierce emerges through the curtain and makes his way down the ramp.

Dennis: And his first opponent, representing the Human Resources Department, TRAVIS PIIIEERRRCCCEEEEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: Travis Pierce will be attempting at Horizons to win the ten million purse for the second year in a row.

Lieberjosch: And this past year Pierce used those winnings to become the World Heavyweight Champion, certainly an important match for all involved.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Glenn Burke getting this match underway, the other three competitors, Gabrielle Montgomery, Duncan Ryder, and Jet Somers, will each not join the match unless the person that precedes them has been eliminated, and of course may not enter at all if Tyvola is defeated.

Lieberjosch: Yeah, okay.

Vinegar: Pierce evades a blow to start, takes Tyvola down with a quick arm drag, now springboards off the ropes with a dropkick.

Lieberjosch: Pierce jumping onto the turnbuckle, might be a bit early to be doing that.

Covert Jay: He jumps off and connects with a headscissor takedown!

Lieberjosch: Pierce perhaps trying to disorient Tyvola, flipping him about a bunch in the early going. Not horrible strategy.

Vinegar: Pierce, ever the showman, kips up to his feet, positions himself behind the rising Tyvola.

Covert Jay: Breakdown!

Lieberjosch: Tyvola elbows him off, boots Pierce right in the face!

Vinegar: Pierce tries to get right to his feet, Tyvola shoves him to the corner, charges in!

Covert Jay: Avvvvvvvvvvvalllanche!!

Vinegar: Pierce stumbles out of the corner, Tyvola grabs him, puts him into a neck vice.

Lieberjosch: PIERCE TAPS OUT!!!!

Vinegar: I find that hard to believe, but yes, Glenn Burke is confirming that Pierce tapped...to a neck vice...we're watching it on replay on our monitors now.

Lieberjosch: It's the sheer power of the Bearded Bastard!

Vinegar: Perhaps Pierce still suffering the effects of injuries he sustained earlier tonight.

Covert Jay: Maybe a gauntlet match is a bastard to have to write when there aren't many volunteers.

Lieberjosch: Just how tight do you wrap that thing?

Vinegar: In any case, Pierce has been eliminated, as he rolls out of the ring, holding his neck, does indeed look to be in some serious pain.

'What You Want'

The lighting turns purple and pink as Gabrielle Montgomery walks out atop the entrance way. She tussles her hair before tossing it over her shoulders and coming down the ramp. She smirks as she takes a moment to watch Pierce writhing in pain before entering the ring.

Dennis: Now entering the ring, the Caramel Coated Princess, GABRIELLE MONTGOMMMERRRYYYY!!!!!

Vinegar: Montgomery entering the ring now, she'll be challenging for the World Heavyweight Championship next week.

Lieberjosch: She's a third his size, I'm not sure she even qualifies as a cruiserweight.

Vinegar: Montgomery shouldn't be underestimated, let's not forget that she not only was just the co-winner of Battleground last month, but is also a former Global Challenge winner and once nearly won the Global Heavyweight Championship from Travis Roberts in a match that took him to the very edge, and was perhaps the most difficult challenge "The Blessed One" had faced to that point.

Covert Jay: Gabby perched on the turnbuckle, sitting with her legs split-open across the top ropes.

Lieberjosch: Tyvola approaches with a smile, goes to bury his face beard deep in the joy.

Vinegar: And Montgomery swings off the turnbuckle into a hurricarana, sending Tyvola sprawling!

Covert Jay: And she follows up with a jumping heel kick!

'I Don't Care'

Duncan Ryder appears on the stage and begins going through the motions of his entrance.

Vinegar: Duncan Ryder coming out here now, jumping the gun, it's not his time yet.

Lieberjosch: Maybe he expected Gabby to have already been beaten by now.

Vinegar: That would be arrogant, even for Ryder.

Covert Jay: Actually, he does look sort of shocked that she is still going.

Vinegar: Ryder continuing to come to the ring, unfazed by the match still going on.

Lieberjosch: He just wants his turn, figures Gabby in the ring is a good time to take it, since with her around everybody gets one.

Vinegar: Did you?

Lieberjosch: ...

Covert Jay: I took his turn for him.

Vinegar: Ah.

Lieberjosch: Let's see if we can squeeze that towel a little tighter...

Vinegar: Montgomery with a step-up enziguri to the World Champion, with Duncan Ryder watching at ringside.

'Everybody Down'

Vinegar: Jet Somers running out from the curtain now.

Covert Jay: Hard to tell if this is a further dig on Gabby, or on Ryder now.

Lieberjosch: Why would he be trying to embarass Ryder?

Covert Jay: Well, he didn't soil himself when he came out now and saw him, but perhaps he already did that backstage, and that explains the grin on Ryder's face.

Lieberjosch: I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Vinegar: Montgomery with her eyes locked on Somers, Tyvola staring at Ryder, his head cocked to the side.

Lieberjosch: Glenn Burke clearly seeing this is going south, takes the opportunity to bail out of the ring now.

Covert Jay: Pansy.

Vinegar: This is a volatile situation, it could explode at any-

Covert Jay: THE TRUTH HURTS!!!

Lieberjosch: Travis Pierce just came out of nowhere, back in the ring, laid Montgomery out with The Truth Hurts!

Vinegar: And now his neck looks just fine!

Lieberjosch: Tyvola goes after Pierce, but Ryder is in the ring and spins him around!

Covert Jay: Dashing Driver!!!

Lieberjosch: And now Somers with the Blackout!!!

Vinegar: Somers covers Tyvola, Travis Pierce is counting a fall!

Pierce: ONE!!!

Pierce: TWO!!!

Pierce: THREE!!!!!!

Pbp: And now Travis Pierce raising the arm of Jet Somers, could this be the scene that will unfold at Horizons, will we see a new World Heavyweight Champion-

Covert Jay: Or World Barely Cruiserweight Champion!

Vinegar: Sure, or that, next week, at Horizons! We'll see you there!

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

RobCaps
T-Rob

Cooperative Match
Rudo

Main Event
Hastings

[EZRA]

Sorry if I came across as a whiner. I actually told Alex that I swore T-Rob was testing me because we've had conversations about how much I feel that I suck at RPing as other people. I no way did I feel like I was being punished. No worries. Can't wait for Horizons.

[Jet Somers]

I actually thought it was a great idea because you both have such distinct characters. As for portraying other characters, you've done it a couple of times and pulled it off, with Jet.

Anyway, great show, I really hope this Horizons stacks up to last year. Tall order!

One gripe: this still doesn't fulfill either request DJS or myself had for our 'guaranteed match at Horizons...' I figured something would get pulled out of someone's sleeve, but this still ended up being pretty much what I expected... Please don't take that as bitching, just... er... judicious naysaying?

[Lord Hastings]

I take it as premature overreaction

[Alex Kiseragi]

Well, not much to add. Here's to making Horizons the show of the year once again.