Horizons 2011

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

www.youtube.com/watchv=l6ytXbl96X4

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

The video stops playing, and Pyrotechnics explode, and not in a Robcap fashion, no they spread their twinkling and colourful delights across the upper echelons of Madison Square Garden. Plumes of red, navy, gold and purple are rocketed into the air at high velocity, they shriek like harbingers of doom as they head towards the arena roof before erupting into a cacophony of delightful pink, green, orange and cornflower blue specks that drift down towards the excitable and well watered crowd.

The newly redeveloped backdrop of Madison Square Garden is covered in fans from around the country and possibly the world, all screaming fans clad in their favoured Wrestling Attire and Holding Signs. Signs supporting every athlete are on display 'St Jimmy = Spark in the Night', 'I want to be Pierced', 'I'm here to see The Mistress and Her Indentured Servants', 'Phorever Phreaks', 'Get Well Jack', 'Where's eD?', 'TyvolaGrapedMyGirlfriendAndSheLikedIt.com', 'What The Hell Is a Drover?', 'My friend Frank once ate a marble and had to Shit it Out', 'NBK's My Brother', 'Jet Somers could kill Junior Dos Santos', 'It came out at such speed it CRACKED the toilet bowl', 'Dragons never die...they just sleep.', 'Duncan Ryder Punched My Gran!', 'Zeke's Rolling Monkeys', 'I'm Covert Jay', 'Seriously, can you imaging explaining that on an Insurance Form under “Accidental Damage”, it was huge plumbing bill, and my god the smell.', 'Is It Wrong That I Want Abigail Knight To beat Me Up?', 'JK Dump the Anchor's', 'His Anus was Never the same again.', 'Robert Ooley should be an X-Factor Judge' and finally, sprawled across the newly fitted suspended walkways that allow a few luck fans to observe proceedings from above (and presumably dodge fireworks), one group of fans have unfurled a huge banner that reads in 10 fgoot letters 'MARK HENRY SUCKS STEVE', which may, or may not, be missing some punctuation which could change the entire meaning.

And standing dispersed randomly throughout the crowd, standing perfectly still, with no suggestion of excitement or apprehension stand many numerous individuals dressed all in black, and wearing the mask of the House of Rudo. They make for a slightly unnerving sight as your eyes spot them and then lose them as the camera scans the crowd. You see many of them, but never for long enough the register just how many there could be.

And then we come across the even creepier sight of Nicholas Vinegar and Hans Lieberjosch trying to pretend they don't hate having to spend pretty much every Monday Night (Sometimes Tuesdays if we're late) sitting next to one another. Vinegar is in his 'Best' hat, and I'm not sure whether that really counts as 'dressing up' unless at least once horse is going to throw a man to the ground during whatever entertainment you happen to be attending. And it certainly has no place with the tuxedo he is wearing, which he clearly had fitted before the annual UGWC End of Year All you Can Eat Brunch, and Ole' Nick can eat a lot. Seriously I once saw him eat an entire pig at a barbecue, including the trotters!

Lieberjosch has slipped on a velvet smoking jacket alongside his own bowtie and has even graced us with a monocle tonight. In some circles this is regarded as well dressed and gentlemanly, to others dressing like this makes you a cunt. Sorry for the language, but we all know it's true.

Covert Jay seems out of breath, but he too is wearing a tuxedo and has even found himself a black towel to complement the 'best Dressed Ninja' look he has gone for.

And I guess now I have to let them speak.

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to UGWC's Second Ever Horizons!

Lieberjosch: It has to be said that Horizons is a special date on the calender for any Sports Entertainment fan, it hasn't been known to dissapoint.

Covert Jay: Huttah!

Vinegar: That was a little late.

Covert Jay: Ninja's can get tired too, I was holding my arms up for ages.

Lieberjosch: What?

Vinegar: It's started earlier than usual tonight. Why were you holding your arms up, Jay?

Covert Jay: You mean you didn't see me? Those screen's are HUGE, were you thinking about whether Burger King will be open when we finish? Because I know Hans was probably just checking some bizarre sports result from the middle east he has tonight's pay cheque riding on, so he wouldn't have noticed anything.

Vinegar: I have no idea what your talking about.

Jay just shakes his head clearly disappointed his efforts have gone unnoticed by his broadcast colleagues.

Vinegar: What a show we have in store for you, each year there are the usual nerves around whether this Horizons can live up to the last, but with the show we have in store it's in the bag. We start of with Abigail knight defending the Chaos title she just won a few weeks ago, but her opponent has been in a coma since Battleground, which adds intrigue to this opener.

Lieberjosch: Did you know JK is the third person to have wrestled in GIW and been in a coma. DJS has been in one since the formation of UGWC and Travis Roberts famously made his comeback from a Coma to dominate and reinvigorate GIW.

Covert jay: So you're saying being in a Coma is a 'Mixed Bag'.

Vinegar: on to the next match I think, it's the traditional G$10 Million Purse Match, Travis Pierce will be looking to win this for the second Horizons in a row but he has Ethan king, Marek Daisuke, Duncan Ryder and The Natural Born Killer standing in his way, and god knows what kind of match we're going to see.

Lieberjosch: Will it be an old classic, or something completely new?

Covert Jay: Even I don't have an idea at this point.

Vinegar: The Cooperative Title are on the line, and so is the history of one of the two teams. Either Calypso Desmona and Chris Peterson or Phrixus Deimos and Alan Fernandez will be forced to never compete with one another ever again.

Lieberjosch: Watching Fernandez drown on his own could be fun.

Vinegar: then History will be made as we pay witness to UGWC's first every Hell in a Cell match, and the two men locked inside the structure are too of UGWC's most devisive characters, as a fan you either love each of them, or despise them with a passion.

Vinegar: Ezekiel and Rudo have been escalating their rivalry to such a point that Robert ooley felt no-one was safe from being affected by it, so he decided to lock the two of them inside this structure. It's not a decision taken lightly given just how many Hell in a Cell matches we've seen in recent years.

Covert Jay: that match has the potential to be match of the night, and if you're match of the night at Horizons, you're pretty much match of the year.

Vinegar: Speaking of long running rivalries, Donovan Hastings and Alex Kiseragi's feud has reached a critical mass. This started way back in January when Hastings could not stop Alex Kiseragi becoming UGWC's First Lord of the Ring. And it hasn't stopped since, we've since Chris Peterson enter with Kiseragi and then change allegiances to Donovan Hastings, and now not only has Alex Kiseragi put his undefeated record in his very own match on the line, he has also put his proudest accomplishment, The Dragons Cave, up for grabs too.

Lieberjosch: If you ask me Hastings would revolutionize that place, looki at the amazing work he's done with The Mistress' Indentured Servant in the space of just a few short months, imagine what could be accomplished with a whole school.

Covert Jay: Don't get ahead of yourself, he has to enter the Dragon's Cave first, and we all know what The Dragon is capable of in his own environment

Vinegar: And if all that isn't enough, Tyvola will be defending his UGWC World Heavyweight Championship against both Gabrielle Montgomery and Jet Somers. To go into all the various sub plot's surrounding this match would take us forever, lets just say that is gonna be brutal.

Covert Jay: And please take note their shall not be a twenty minute period of self indulgence where two commentators face of in an overlong, and unwanted, grudge match. If there is only one thing we do well in UGWC it's create a spectacle, which is all killer and no filler.

Vinegar: But before we get started we have something shot earlier today coming in that changes the play for out very first match, lets roll the tape.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

We see footage of UGWC Chaos Champion Abigail Knight roaming the halls of a familiar looking hospital. Her Chaos Championship is slung over her shoulder, and a confused looking Owen Peterson follows in her wake.

Peterson: Why are we here?

Knight: Who fights me?

Peterson: What?

Knight: Who fights me? Who do I get to defeat for to keep this championship?

Peterson: “The Cyclone,” JK, why?

Knight: I’m not going to wait around for him to crawl out of bed. Chances are he wouldn’t have shown up to the Garden, anyway, so I’m bringing the fight to him.

Peterson: I’m not sure that’s going to be official…

Knight: Of course it is, I have an official right here.

As they round the next corner, they run right into Paul Cockatoo, who pauses for a moment before checking out Knight head to toe, and tossing off a wolf whistle.

Cockatoo: You’re definitely the best looking Chaos Champion we’ve ever head. Wait, what are you doing here?

Knight: Daylight Savings Time.

Cockatoo: What?

Peterson: What she’s saying is Horizons has come early. She’s here for JK.

Cockatoo: He’s not even cleared yet. What was that bloke thinking signing a Chaos match for the biggest show of the year with a half-cripple?

Knight: Details. I intend to defend this Championship. Now.

Cockatoo: Afraid I can’t let you do that.

Knight: Out of my way, Paul.

The Original Aboriginal refuses to budge, crossing his arms. Despite all the betrayals this year, he refuses to let his lifelong friend be ambushed in his hospital bed.

That’s when Owen’s phone rings.

Peterson: Yes sir? (pause) I understand.

He hangs up, and does his official duty by stepping in between the two EPs now staring daggers at one another.

Peterson: That was Dexter Vines. He has made a last minute change to the Chaos match. Abigail Knight will be defending her championship against... Paul Cockatoo. And I’m to be in a team safety meeting in twenty minutes, so it’s going to have to wait until the Garden. Sorry guys!

Off the hook, Owen rushes away. Paul continues to stand fast, but Abigail just smirks and wanders off in another direction, not taking her eyes off him until she rounds a corner.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

'Everybody Down'

Vinegar: The Weapon is making an early entrance...

Lieberjosch: He's probably coming out to make sure everyone is aware of the injustice of having to share his title shot with an unworthy skank.

Covert Jay: I don't think that's what this is.

Vinegar: It's too late to cry about it now anyway, the decision has been made, whining about it makes no difference. She's hardly unworthy, neither of them won Battleground outright, so each has equal claim.

Covert Jay: Seriously I don't think that's what this is about, look he's in his ring gear!

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for the first match of Horizons 2011, it is scheduled for one fall and is for The UGWC World Heavyweight Championship!!!!!

Vinegar: What!?!?

Dennis: Introducing first, the Challenger, from Deep Creek, Mississippi, JJJJEEEEETTTTTT SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEERRRRSSSSSS.

Lieberjosch: Did the medication I take to make spending time with the two of you a bearable experience cause me to black out and miss the entire event?

Vinegar: No, this is apparently our first match of the night. I know the company likes to mix things up, but this is ridiculous....

Covert Jay: I think there is more to it than a simple case of retarded scheduling. Jet seems happy enough with the situation.

Vinegar: He's not exactly the most stable of UGWC competitors, who knows what strange things make him happy.

Covert Jay: Herpes ridden puppies jump to mind.

Lieberjosch: That's more likely the World Champions mind set. The only thing that makes The Living Weapon happy is the sweet taste of success. He's probably happy because he gets to become Champion earlier than expected, and then he can enjoy the break until the New Year.

Vinegar: This still doesn't make sense, why open the show with the biggest match of the entire year?

'Damage Inc'

Vinegar: As Jet climbs into the ring another unexpected turn of events occurs, what is Robert Ooley doing interrupting proceedings so early on.

Covert Jay: Methinks some colourful clarification is impending.

Ooley: Welcome to Horizons you fish brained excuses for Humanity! And what better way to kick off proceedings with a few choice words from UGWC's favourite Uncle figure, Ole' Bob himself!

Vinegar: I don't know about anyone else but my Uncle never referred to me as a “fish brained excuse'.

Lieberjosch: Clearly your Uncle was a very skilled liar, Nicholas.

Ooley: It seems like an explanation is in order, due to the fact the majority of mouth breeders in attendance seem shocked that the next UGWC World Champion is opening tonight's show. But such a reaction only provides further evidence that the majority of you are unable to pay attention to the simplest of scenario's.

Vinegar: So he's just come out here to insult the hard working fans who have shelled out their hard earned cash to buy tickets to be here tonight.

Lieberjosch: I am sure he has more important reasons, but I can't deny that that's probably a huge incentive for him.

Ooley: Anyone with at least the observational skills of a blind and retarded ewok cannot have helped but have noticed the uncertainty that has surrounded the fate of the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship over the past few weeks. Despite the fact a match had already been booked and promoted, Tits, no doubt suffering from a venereal disease that has caused significant levels of brain damage, decided at the last minute she wanted her own shot.

Ooley: Despite the ludicrous nature of her unreasonable demands, certain colleagues of Ole' Bob's deemed it acceptable to back down and insert her into Jet Somers' well earned shot. Now anyone who knows me, knows I do not eat shit with a smile on my face. Jet Somers was the first to demand a one on one shot with the Champion and he's going to get itm the fact Gabby's Lady Garden can accommodate more visitors than your average theme park is not going to change matters.

Ooley: So to kick of UGWC's second Horizons in an unparalleled manner, you are about to see The Human Resource Department's Most Finely Tuned Athlete become this company's NEW World Heavyweight Champion when he get's his one on one match with Ebola himself.

Vinegar: Wait, he's getting a singles match, what about Gabrielle.

Ooley: Then, once he has disposed of this feral excuse for a Sports Entertainer in swift fashion and finally relegated his pitiful reign to the depths of history, he will take a few hours to relax, before ending the show by destroying Gabby with her Yawning Hippo resembling vagina and defending his newly crowned title.

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen, despite Ooley's spin on the matter, this is an exciting prospect. It seems the wishes of both Gabrielle and Jet Somers have been honoured and the winner of this match will facde Gabrielle at the end of tonight.

Lieberjosch: As he said, Jet Somers will be beating Gabby at the end of the show...

Ooley: Whilst Crazy Opie could clearly handle both these matches without breaking much of a sweat, the point was raised backstage that this might leave Gabrielle with an unfair advantage. So directly after this match Gabrielle will compete in a rubber match, against none other than The Most Entertaining Man in UGWC's History, none other than Travis Pierce himself!

Vinegar: That seems fair, and I can't imagine Gabby has any problem with being able to get her hands on Travis Pierce here at the biggest night of them all. That is a match that has Horizons written all over it...

Ooley: Adios...Suckers.

Vinegar: Ooley exits to the back as Jet stares at the entrance ramp awaiting his shot at destiny. Can Jet Somers become the first man to win the World Title at two separate Horizons? All that stands in his way is the Immovable Object that has been leaving a trail of loserrs behind him for months now, The Virginity Slaying Vagabond, Tyvola...

'Come Together'

Dennis: Introducing his opponent, he is the UGWc heavyweight Champion of the World....TTTTTTYYYYYYYVVVVVVOOOOOOOOLLLLAAAA!!!

Vinegar: It cannot be argued that Tyvola has without doubt been UGWC's most dominant World Champion ever. He has defeated numerous foes, often all at once, to keep hold of that belt since he took it from Travis Pierce at No Holds Barred bay in May. He's one of few champions to have successfully defended at Outlast, and tonight he has another record set in his sights, can The Homicidal Hobo become the first World Heavyweight Champion to successfully retain at Horizons, Alex Kiseragi, Travis Roberts and Donovan Hastings have all failed before him, and if he wants to leave as champion tonight, he's going to have to do it TWICE!

Lieberjosch: He should focus on just doing it once, this is Jet Somers' yard now. This isn't an unpredictable clusterbang like Outlast, this is one on one, man vs man, and he already has the experience of winning the big one here at the garden. He did it last year, and you'd be foolish to think he won't do it again this year. I firmly believe Jet Somers has the mind to take down the savage power of Tyvola, with no-one else to get in his way, the Living Weapon is on the brink of greatness.

Vinegar: This could end up being quite the night for Jet, it's plausible that he could become the first person to win The World Title at two separate Horizons, and the shortest reigning champion, all in one night. If he wins this, and loses to Gabby later, this name will forever go down in History.

Lieberjosch: That won't happen, Somers is going home with the gold, amrk my words.

Vinegar: Your quiet Jay...

Covert jay: Just looking at Tyvola, he seems even more disturbed than usual, he seems to be ignoring whomever he usually believes is with him at ringside, or they've ceased to exist, which frankly worries me somewhat.

Vinegar: I'm not sure Tyvola is ever in a state that wouldn't worry me, he's just one of the most unique characters to ever step inside a wrestling ring, there is literally no-one like him in this industry, in fact I don't know any industry where someone like him is a success.

Covert Jay: You clearly have not ventured onto the seedier corners of the World Wide Web, a guy like Tyvola could be a staggering success in those realms.

Vinegar: Well he's been a staggering success here in UGWC this year, he came from literally nowhere last year, and now stands on top of the pile. We'll see just how much longer he can be a success now, as both men are ready, both men are in the ring, and UGWC Horizons 2011 is about to start, with a vengeance!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Ding!

Vinegar: And the first match of the night is udnerway, and The World Heavyweight Champion and the Challenger lock up in the middle of the ring.

Lieberjosch: Jet showing his superior technical ability and he is easily able to get behind Tyvola and force him into a Full Nelson...

Vinegar: However Tyvola displays his superior strength by easily powering out and delivering an elbow back into Jet's face causing the challenger to stumble backwards...

Lieberjosch: But as Ty turns and swings out Jet is able to duck, and takes down the big man with a sweeping arm bar.

Vinegar:: Tyvola not remaining on the canvas for long however as her heaves himself up causing Jet to break the hold and take a few steps back, and now both emn lock eyes once more and there is a momentary pause in proceedings.

Lieberjosch: Which is broken by a torrent of crazy in the form of an animalistic scream from Tyvola as he throws himself towards Somers and lands a stunningly powerful head-butt directly onto the forehead of Somers, who can't help but stagger backwards into the ropes...

Vinegar: Tyvola charges, and clotheslines Somers out of the ring, and then climbs out after him.

Lieberjosch: Jet knows a count out does him absolutely no good here so he is trying to get to his feet and back in the ring as quickly as possible.

Vinegar: But Tyvola grabs him and hurls him back first into the guard barriers, his nostrils flare and he puts his head down and charges once more...

Lieberjosch: Jet pulls himself out of the way and The World Heavyweight Champion connects skull first with the barriers, and as he staggers backwards Jet grabs hold of Ty's head and slams a brutal knee into The Champions face, before throwing him back into the ring...

Vinegar: Tyvola get's to his knee's, but Jet is already back in the ring and running the ropes...

Covert Jay: SSSHHHHIIIIIIINNNNNIIIINNNNGGGG WWWWIIIIIIIZZZZAAAARRRRDDD!!!

Vinegar: I'm not sure we've ever seen Tyvola on the canvas in the opening moments of a match during his reign as we have tonight, Jet really managing to get some early shots in on the champ here...

Lieberjosch: He's not resting on his laurels however, he knows this is just the start, he knows Tyvola is a unique specimen, whilst not of Jet's own personal calibre, jet knows a few knee smashes aren't going to derail this train.

Vinegar: Which explains why he has leg scissors wrapped around Tyvola's neck right now, trying to cut off the circulation to the Champions head, Ty's strength though comes into play once more, and he uses those saucepan sized hands to pry Jet's legs from around his neck, and then slams one of them directly into Crazy Opie's inner thigh.

Covert Jay: Tyvola's like a Brutal, Graping Ninja...I mean, I'm not aware of Gabby ever presing charges, and that takes some Ninja skills...

Vinegar: that shot to the thigh turned the contest a little ass Tyvola followed it up with an elbow to Jet's Jaw, and now the World Heavyweight Champion has Jet Somers held in his arms, and he falls and throws Somers backwards with might...

Lieberjosch: I'm sure the Fighter had this all planned out in his strategy, he knows Tyvola's strength is going to be a decisive component off this match, I'm sure he has planned around it.

Vinegar: It doesn't look that way right now, as Jet is powerless to stop Tyvola scooping him up and then hanging him upside down in the corner...he kicks jet in the face before moving to the other side of the ring...chraging...and then slams both feet into Somers' face with a destructive baseball slide.

Covert Jay: Somers' head is snapped right back and then he falls to the floor in a heap, that could have potentially disabled him...

Vinegar: Tyvola makes a cover...





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Covert Jay: HE'S NOT DISABLED!

Lieberjosch: Somers knows how to handle pain, even if his neck were broken he'd keep soldiering on...

Covert Jay: How did you ever become a Doctor?

Vinegar: tyvola now bringing Jet to his feet and he whips him to the ropes and sends him back down with a Clothesline from hell, jet's neck taking some severe punishment here...and Tyvola picks him up again...and whips him again...and ANOTHER Clothesline from Hell...and he picks him up again...and whips him agai...

Lieberjosch: NO! Somers is ready this time and he reverses and manages to send ty into the turnbuckle, and he quickly charges towards him...and leaps over him using the ropes to springboard, and lands on the top of the turnbuckle...SOEMRSAULT NECKBREAKER FROM THE TOP!

Vinegar: A magnificent display of why, despite his allegiances, Jet Somers still has a large following in the Sports Entertainment world, there's not a lot of people that could pull off something like that after the beating Jet has just sustained from Tyvola...but despite this Tyvola is getting back up, giving Jet little time to rest.

Lieberjosch: He doesn't need to rest, he's focused and was just waiting for the big man to get up, and when he does Jet strikes out with a knee to the gut, and then he hits a double under hook DDT, giving Ty no chance to protect his neck and face from the canvas as they are driven down.

Vinegar: Now Jet gets to his feet, and looks to the top rope and begins to climb the ropes, but it seems Tyvola is impervious to pain.

Covert Jay: Or he's forgotten how to sell, like The Undertaker did back in 1990.

Vinegar: As jet turns Tyvola is upon him, and grabs him and tosses him from the top rope to the outside...and not just outside, he clears the guard barrier and the first two rows of fans, and Jet Somers lands in the laps of some very surprised looking middle aged women...

Lieberjosch: That look of surprise quickly turns to fear as they see Tyvola exit the ring and climb over the guard rail as Jet gets back to his feet.

Vinegar: Jet knows he needs to get back into that ring, but he has a hell ofn obstacle in front of him, a group of fans and an enraged Tyvola. Glenn Burke has already reached the count of 3.

Lieberjosch: Jet is indeed aware that the only way to successfully win this is to get back in the ring, and he steps out into the gangway Tyvola is making his way up....and slips under his legs and leaps the guard rail...

Vinegar: Tyvola, for a moment looks like a stunned cat, as if he'd just witnessed Jet disappear in front of his very eyes, and he screams something about a Pirate Necromancer before a soft drink impacts onto the back of his head...

Lieberjosch: Hurled at him by Jet Somers in an attempt to capture the insaniac's attention.

Vinegar: It does so and now as Jet slides into the ring...Tyvola...TEARS A SECTION OF THE GUARD RAIL AWAY!.

Covert Jay: I'm sure someone will fix that by the time the next matches come in.

Lieberjosch: Somers' plan works flawlessly and Tyvola is back in the ring with him just as Burke reaches the count of 8. Jet's ready and he jumps up and wraps his elgs around Tyvola, and his arm around the head...SUICIDE PULL!

Vinegar: And Jet now goes to work on Tyvola with a Ground-and-pound unloading a series of devastating cocked back hard punches and elbows...it's not often we see a competitor able to do this to Tyvola.

Lieberjosch: Somers has control over Tyvola now, the vast technical experience Somers has is showing through...

Covert Jay: You may have spoke too soon...

Vinegar: Ty grabbing hold of Jet's knee's and then dragging himself to his feet, lifting Jet up with him....and then with a thunderous effort he lifts Jet onto his shoulders...then high into the air...POWERBOMB!!!








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Vinegar: I thought it was over, but Jet Somers manages to get his shoulder up, and he's still in this match...just.

Lieberjosch: Tyvola now dragging Jet to his feet and scooping him up for a power slam....but Jet manages to escape...he's bridges backwards with his feet on the floor, and Tyvola still has hold of his head...but with a mammoth show of strength and technique Jet manages to lift Tyvola and himself Upright...and execute a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!

Covert Jay: Why isn't he making the cover...

Lieberjosch: because he knows that won't be enough...he leaps to the top rope...450 ELBOW!...NOW HE COVERS!









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Vinegar: It's Tyvola's turn to cut it close in kicking out, but this match is still alive, and both men are now looking in a bad state. I'm not sure I've ever seen Tyvola in this state without the intervention of foreign objects.

Covert Jay: That's why they call him The Living Weapon, genius.

Lieberjosch: Jet however is on top now, and looking to keep the momentum flowing in his direction, and as Ty tries to get to his feet Jet puts him back down briefly with a kick to the temple...

Vinegar: It is brief though as Tyvola staggers to his feet to his feet...

Lieberjosch: But he's disorientated enough for Jet to grab him by the head and then run towards the turnbuckle, with The World Heavyweight Champion in tow.

Covert Jay: CHAOS IN MOTION!!!





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Vinegar: What does It take to keep this beast down?

Covert Jay: Short of a hospital filled with drugs I don't think anyone has found that answer yet.

Lieberjosch: Jet though looking to press on, he pulls Ty back to his feet...

Vinegar: And Tyvola responds, instinctively, with a Heart punch, that sends Somers onto both knee's...Tyvola grins and takes a few steps back...then takes a running kick at Somers' head...and Jet just folds backwards, his body resting against the ropes...Tyvola stands over him...and then with more effort than you would imagine from The Homicidal Hobo he lifts Somers to his feet...

Covert Jay: MAGUS!!!











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Lieberjosch: NO! NO! NO! He got his foot on the bottom rope...Jet survives again! Who ever doubted him? This man survived an attempted assassination this time last year, and just over two months later successfully defended the World Heavyweight Title...it'll take more than a Neanderthal that dwells under a bridge to stop him...

Covert Jay: Again you may have spoken to soon!

Vinegar: Tyvola scoops Jet up and then lifts him across his shoulders...sugaM

Lieberjosch: NO! Jet escapes, pushes off Ty's back with his feet, manages to land on the middle rope...

Vinegar: Tyvola turns...

Covert Jay: JETSTREAMER!!!!





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Lieberjosch: THREE!

Vinegar: NO! Tyvola kicked out with mere millimetres to spare, Glenn Burke ceasing the count at the absolute last moment....

Lieberjosch: The entire arena is stunned into silence, I think everyone thought it was over right there...and now both men are struggling to their knee's....

Vinegar: Exchanging punches with every last ounce of energy they have...and remember whoever wins this match faces Gabrielle Montgomery at the end of tonight...

Lieberjosch: Both men on their feet again....

Vinegar: Ty strikes out... REVERSE MAGUS!!!!


Covert Jay: Isn't that a sugaM?
















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Lieberjosch: Foot on rope!

Vinegar: No, he can't get purchase it keeps slipping off....























3!!!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner....and STILL UGWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION........TTTTTYYYYYVVVVVVVOOOOOOLLLLAAAA!!!

Vinegar: He's done it, Tyvola has become the first ever person to defend the World Heavyweight Championship successfully at Horizons.

Lieberjosch: But Jet had his foot on the ropes!

Vinegar: He didn't, and you are well aware of it...but you cannot take anything away from Jet Somers here tonight, he has pushed Tyvola further than any one man has managed before without the use of any kind of help, but all he may have done is make Gabrielle's job easier later on tonight, Tyvola is in a bad way.

Lieberjosch: She has to get past Pierce in one piece first....and that's up next!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: An unbelievable start to Horizons here tonight, as we have already seen the World Heavyweight Championship successfully defended, and it will be on the line again later tonight!

Lieberjosch: Tyvola is an unstoppable machine, he'd face the entire roster in a gauntlet match an probably be unfazed.

Vinegar: Before we start on the matches that our fans expected to see here tonight, by decree of Director of Human Resources Robert Ooley, we will now see Gabrielle Montgomery in action.

Lieberjosch: Well, it wouldn't be fair for her to be fresh and have to face Tyvola after he already had a match.

Covert Jay: Didn't you just say Tyvola could face the entire roster in a gauntlet match?

'What You Want' slinks into existence as all the arena lighting turns purple and pink as what we want walks out atop the entrance way. The gorgeous Gabrielle in her hue of caramel smirks as she gazes out over all the UGWC fans and tussles her hair over her shoulders before sauntering down too the ring while holding her hands delicately aloft beside herself. When she reaches the ring she rests both hands on the ring apron and for a moment she suggestively arches her back before lifting herself up onto the apron where she sits with her legs dangling over the edge as she adjusts the neckline of her revealing sports bra ensuring it does what little it can to conceal her curves. She then crawls under the bottom rope and into the ring where she gets to her feet and leans back against the ropes where she turns and winks at the camera.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the Caramel Coated Goddess, GABRIELLE MONTGOMMMERRRRYYYY!!!!!

Vinegar: It's been quite a roller coaster of a year for Ms. Montgomery, first joining the Human Resources Department, her fiance continuing to be in a coma, the recurring incidents with Tyvola, being thrown out of the Human Resources Department, and of course, co-winning Battleground, and facing Tyvola later tonight.

Lieberjosch: But first she has to get through Travis Pierce.

"You Know My Name" begins to play as pyros explode on the opening rifts of the song, and as the music softens Travis Pierce comes out from backstage and walks to the ring.

Dennis: And her opponent, the host of The Piercing Truth, TRAVIS PIIIERRRRCCCEEEEE!!!!

Covert Jay: That's quite a shit-eating grin.

Vinegar: Pierce looks very pleased with his opportunity, but it's important to remember that Pierce has a second match himself, he'll be participating in the ten million purse match later tonight, a match that certainly has a critical importance to Pierce.

Lieberjosch: But when Director Ooley want you to go get physical with Gabby, you GO.

Covert Jay: Gabby is a bad ninja girl gone good, and smarter than anybody wants to give her credit for, she is sure to have a plan.

Vinegar: She found out about this change in the card the same time that we did.

Covert Jay: Were you listening? Ninja girl.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Hazel East assigned to this quasi-impromptu match, gets us underway.

Lieberjosch: Pierce mocking Gabby, taunting her.

Covert Jay: You think he still wants into the yawning hippo?

Lieberjosch: Don't you?

Vinegar: Montgomery just smiling and nodding, seems unfazed, she tells Pierce to bring it.

Covert Jay: Pierce brushes her aside, doing some stretching in the corner, making Gabby wait.

Lieberjosch: This is a good strategy by Pierce, playing mind games with Gabby. She's got to be anxious and nervous as it is, considering how important tonight is, making her wait is just adding to the weight on her mind, make her think about it all more.

Vinegar: Montgomery getting impatient, Pierce puts his his hands, apologizing, and now he wants a handshake?

Lieberjosch: Well, he is a good sport about it all.

Covert Jay: Gabby starts to reach out, and Pierce pulls his hand away and turns his back to her, running his hand through his hair and laughing.

Lieberjosch: Smooth.

Vinegar: He turns back around right into a slap across the face by Montgomery!

Lieberjosch: Now Pierce looks pissed.

Vinegar: Pierce swings wildly with a clothesline, ducked under by Montgomery, she chops him in the chest.

Lieberjosch: Travis Pierce needs to collect himself quickly.

Vinegar: Double-elbow tie-up, Montgomery cuts behind into a waistlock. Standing switch by Pierce, twists Montgomery into a hammerlock.

Covert Jay: Gabby taps out!

Vinegar: Hold on, what?

Lieberjosch: She tapped out!

Dennis: Here is your winner, TRAVIS PIERRRCEEEE!!!!

Vinegar: Pierce is confused, he doesn't understand what happened, Hazel East explaining it to him, Montgomery tapped out!

Lieberjosch: To a hammerlock?

Vinegar: Montgomery standing at the bottom of the ramp, Pierce staring at her in disbelief.

Covert Jay: Gabby blows him a kiss and laughs her way up the ramp!

Lieberjosch: I don't get what's so funny.

Vinegar: I do, it's poetic justice. The Human Resources Department has been setting Gabby and Tyvola up for weeks, just last week Pierce faked an injury and tapped out against Tyvola just to set them both up, Montgomery just beat them at their own game!

Lieberjosch: Well, we'll see how well it works out for her, when she faces Tyvola for the World Heavyweight Championship later tonight!

Vinegar: That will be our main event, but up next, the Chaos Championship is on the line!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: What an amazing start we've gotten off to here tonight!

Lieberjosch: The unstoppable Tyvola has already successfully retained the World Heavyweight Championship against Jet Somers, and he will defend it against Gabrielle Montgomery later in the main event!

Covert Jay: And she just had to face Travis Pierce, and used an absolutely BRILLIANT strategy to throw the Human Resources Department's own plans right back in their face!

Vinegar: It just goes to show that ANYTHING can happen here at Horizons, and what is happening next is the match for the Chaos Championship!

A didgeridoo is heard playing in the arena as a shot of some kangaroos bounding off into the sunset is shown on the Globaltron before the opening riff for "Beds are burning" by Midnight Oil takes over the P.A. system.

Dennis Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is set for one fall, and it is for the UGWC Chaos Championship! Introducing first, from Torres Straight Islands in Queensland, Australia, the challenger, Paul COCKAATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

As "the Original Aboriginal" makes his way down to the ring, smiling a big smile showing blindingly white teeth, he highfives a couple of fans, and manages to take a peek down some hot girls tops. He slides into the ring, and does an air drum solo to the drum solo of “Beds are Burning”, before flashing another smile to the crowd and awaiting his opponent

Vinegar: I understand that the Consortium actually had a change of heart about allowing JK to compete tonight, and decided Paul Cockatoo would be a fitting replacement.

Lieberjosch: He’s here to defend his friend’s honor, despite having that friend stab him in the back repeatedly over the past year.

Covert Jay: Et tu, JK?

Strobe lights start up, right about the time that the music hits, hard and fast and heavy as Shiner starts playing.

Dennis Mitchell: And his opponent, hailing from Charleston, South Carolina, and weighing in at one hundred, twenty six pounds, your Chaos Champion, Abigail KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKNIGHT!!!!!!

Smoke has filled the floor of the stage and then she bursts through it, heading straight for the ring. And she is pushing something covered with a sheet down to the ring! She walks swiftly and with purpose and jumps up on the ring, grabbing the top rope and flipping herself into the ring over the top rope.

Lieberjosch: Knight has certainly impressed during her short time here, even catching the eye of Lord Donovan Hastings for a while.

Vinegar: She’s certainly one of the most determined and aggressive competitors we’ve seen in this division.

Abigail Knight reaches down and grabs a corner of the giant sheet and smiles cruelly at her opponent.

Vinegar: The Champion pulls on the sheet to reveal…

Lieberjosch: A gurney loaded with hospital themed weapons!

Vinegar: Oh, this is going to get bloody…

Covert Jay: At least there is plenty of equipment to patch up Paul Cockatoo when it’s over!

Lieberjosch: Cockatoo eyeing the medical menagerie as Peterson calls for the bell.

Vinegar: Knight immediately reaches out for the IV pole and attacks. Paul is in rare form tonight though, and he dodges swing after swing!

Lieberjosch: But the Champ jabs him, and he doubles over, setting himself up for an underhook suplex. Let’s talk about what might have been… how close were we to seeing Abigail Knight and Chris Peterson in that fateful “Losers Part Ways” bout later tonight?

Vinegar: I don’t know, that would have put her under Hastings’ influence and control, instead of out on her own defending one of the most troubled Championships around.

Covert Jay: Would that be so bad? She could train at the soon to be House of The Lord of Pain.

Lieberjosch: What… nevermind.

Covert Jay: A jump around, jump around.

Vinegar: Abigail has been unloading kicks to Paul’s midsection, but Paul manages to roll away and slide out of the ring. He reaches the gurney and grabs a dental mouth gag.

Lieberjosch: Abigail leapfrogging the top rope…

Vinegar: Paul spins around and connects hard as Abby dives.

Lieberjosch: Not enough to break her open, but he immediate jams the gag into her mouth and snaps it open, locking Knight’s mouth wide.

Covert Jay: She’s kind of reminding me of Gabrielle Montgomery right now.

Lieberjosch: Before Abby can reach up to remove the contraption, Paul whips her arms around her back locking them in for a full nelson slam!

Covert Jay: The champ is bleeding from the gums!

Vinegar: Paul lifts her up by the hair, slamming her face first into the ring post.

Lieberjosch: Article #338; Why have all the long haired wrestlers suddenly gone crew cut? Read up.

Vinegar: How many female wrestlers can you name that followed that trend?

Lieberjosch: Women can’t read.

Covert Jay: Paul dumps the gurney over, scattering supplies and equipment all around, then sets it back up and lays the dazed champion out. Paul heading up the turnbuckle…

Vinegar: MARBO!!!

Lieberjosch: Abigail rolls away, and Paul stabs right through that gurney that massive spear!

Vinegar: Abs only taking a moment to shake out the cobwebs and remove the gag before diving back in to the mess of the gurney with a mayo stand full of scalpels, forceps, hemostats, sutures, and retractors, slamming them into the bald head of Cockatoo!

Lieberjosch: Look at all of those sutures sticking out of his head!

Covert Jay: Ninjas are big fans of acupuncture.

Lieberjosch: Paul Cockatoo isn’t looking like much of a ninja right now as he wobbles to his feet only to get the flat of that mayo tray right in the face.

Vinegar: Abigail fetching an orthopedic mallet.

Covert Jay: That thing looks like a gavel used by the honorable Judge Ozzy Osbourne.

Lieberjosch: I suppose he is a ninja too?

Covert Jay: No, he’s the Prince of Fucking Darkness.

Vinegar: Abby swinging the mallet in a huge arc, but Paul just manages to throw up a forearm, knocking it out of her grasp and across the ring mat, then lays in with chops to the side of her face.

Lieberjosch: He reaches down and scoops up a rasp, and rakes it back and forth across the Devil’s Daughter’s face!

Vinegar: Paul puts the rasp in her mouth… FALL FROM ULARU!!

Covert Jay: Oh, that had to break some teeth.

Vinegar: Who knew Paul Cockatoo was capable of this level of violence against an attractive female?

Lieberjosch: An attractive female who threatened the well-being of his recovering and helpless friend.

Covert Jay: If that’s what you call a friend, Doctor, I’d hate to see your enemies.

Vinegar: Paul has gone for the cover…

One…




Two…








Vinegar: Abs kicks out!

Lieberjosch: Her mouth is gushing blood, but she’s still in this fight!

Covert Jay: You don’t get to be the Chaos Champion by being all butthurt in the mouth.

Lieberjosch: Think about what you just said, Jay.

Covert Jay: I never do that.

Vinegar: Paul looms over Abigail, reaching down for her, but Abby has gotten her hands on a Yankauer suction tube, which she slides up between his legs.

Covert Jay: Paul’s eyes go wide as the suction hit’s his didgeridoos and brings him to his knees.

Vinegar: Holding the suction in place, Knight slaps a Bovie pad over Cockatoo’s face.

Lieberjosch: Paul struggling with which to free, his viced jublees, or the super sticky electrosurgery pad now stuck over his face.

Vinegar: The champ takes advantage of his confusion and whips him into the security barrier, where he trips and goes into the crowd.

Lieberjosch: This capacity Madison Square Garden crowd are getting their money’s worth!

Vinegar: Abigail leaps the barrier and lifts Cockatoo up onto it.

Lieberjosch: Springing up behind him, she executes a perfect elevated KNIGHTMARE!

Covert Jay: Spinal Tap!

Lieberjosch: Given the circumstances, that was actually clever…

Vinegar: Abigail Knight taking this match up to eleven!

Lieberjosch: And you ruined it.

Vinegar: The champ looking to retain right now!

One…








Two…








Thre… NO!

Lieberjosch: Cockatoo somehow manages to power out of that pinfall!

Vinegar: Feeling his way, he scrambles over to the barrier and manages to locate a scalpel, which he quickly uses to cut out breathing holes and a way to see in the Bovie pad.

Lieberjosch: Knight isn’t done with him!

Vinegar: Think again—as she leaps from the top of the barrier wall, The Original Aboriginal catches Knight in midflight, powerslamming her onto a portable vital signs monitor, which sparks and flatlines as she crumples over it.

Lieberjosch: Fitting…

Covert Jay: That doesn’t seem realistic… what was it monitoring before?

Lieberjosch: Haven’t you ever heard of the suspension of disbelief?

Covert Jay: I don’t listen to emo.

Vinegar: He can’t let her gain momentum like that again, she is very skilled at pulling out critical damage at the drop of a hat.

Covert Jay: You should have said, at the drop of diastolic pressure.

Lieberjosch: Shut up, Jay.

Vinegar: Paul, lifting a defibrillator over his head, brings it crashing down on the body of the champ and sandwiching her between two very expensive pieces of equipment.

Covert Jay: Do you think Cockatoo would make a good luchadore with that mask?

Lieberjosch: I don’t think he’s going to be able to get it off to pass it down to his children.

Vinegar: Paul going for another pin…

One…












Two…


















Lieberjosch: Abigail kicks out!!!!!!

Vinegar: How? How does she still have it in her?

Lieberjosch: Cockatoo has had enough. He cranks up the defrib, yanks the paddles, and actually yells clear before pressing them to her chest!

Covert Jay: Oh my god!

Vinegar: Abigail bucks a few times before finally going limp, and Cockatoo tries again…


One…












Two…




















Three!!!

Dennis Mitchell: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and new UGWC Chaos Champion, Paul Cockatoo!

Vinegar: This match was sick!

Covert Jay: Is there a doctor in the house?

Lieberjosch: Hrm.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Ladies and Gentlemen you are still with us here at UGWC Horizons 2011, streaming live from Madison Square Garden, New York City.

Jay: You lucky people.

Vinegar: We’re already three matches down and they’re only going to get better as the night goes on.

Lieberjosch: Is that what you think? How could anything top our shocking opener?!

Vinegar: Oh please. Can you spare us the pessimism for one night? This is Horizons. The biggest night of the year.

Lieberjosch: Well, I suppose it could be worse. At least there hasn’t been any outrageous stipulation added to our next match to make it more confusing for people to follow.

Jay: I know. I hate when I’m reading a match and completely lose track of it.

Vinegar: What?

Jay: You know.

Vinegar: I think the excitement of the night is getting to him.

Lieberjosch: I think he’s a moron.

Jay: Stop yapping. We’ve got a tonne of entrances to do and not a whole lot of time.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is for a $10million purse.

"Tokyo" by the Wombats hits to a loud chorus of booing. Enigma walks out to a huge fireworks display, soaking in the even louder booing. He walks down the ramp, with a sinister look etched on his face, before stopping at the ring apron.

Dennis: Introducing first, from Brisbane, Australia! Weighing in at 202lbs! The Saint of Chaos, Saint Enigma Jimmy! Or something…

Vinegar: Enigma’s mental state seems to have been deteriorating rapidly over the last month while his estimates of his ability have increased. If he is victorious tonight he will be able to claim the heavyweight title shot he believes he is entitled to.

The chorus hits as Enigma jumps through the middle of the top and second ropes, before landing in a roll in the middle of the ring. He springs back to his feet, and climbs the nearest turnbuckle, posing to a loud wall of booing and heckling.

How To Make A Monster starts to play and NBK walks out onto the stage.

Dennis: His opponent! From Parts Unknown! Weighing in at 270lbs! The Most Dangerous Rumour You’ve Never Heard-

Lieberjosch: You’d have thought Prince Rudo would have done something about that moniker. It really doesn’t fit anymore.

Dennis: The Natural Born Killeeeeeeeer!!!

Vinegar: NBK’s mental state has never been good and since being banished from Prince Rudo’s circle in violent fashion, who knows where he is now or what he would do with $10 million in purse money.

NBK walks down to the ring and rolls under the ropes, ignoring Saint Jimmy as he gets up and his music fades.

"The Diamontina Drover" comes through the speakers to a generous pop from the audience as Ethan enters from backstage in a Holden Ute. He stops at the top of the ramp and exits the ute before he looks out to the audience, raises his arms causing a Randy Orton like shower of red sparks to fall behind him.

Dennis: Introducing next! From Diamontina, Australia! Weighing in at 240lbs! The Drover! Ethan Kiiing!!!

Vinegar: Ethan King has really stepped up his level recently but has had some disappointing losses to Enigma. It’ll be interesting to see what happens between those two in this match and what Ethan might do with the $10 mil if he wins.

Jay: Probably just use it to try to get extra doses of vicodin.

He continues to walk down to the ring, interacting with some of the fans in the front row. Once he gets to the ring apron, he slides in and poses for the audience on the top right turnbuckle, then proceeds to do the same on the bottom left turnbuckle before hopping down and awaiting the start of the match.

The lights in the arena dim and the big screen lights up with a scene from the movie ‘Superbad’. The character played by Seth Rogen is bent over, hands on his knees breathing hard and you hear him say the words, ‘He’s the fastest kid alive’. The screen goes black then we see Marek run from under the big screen. He jumps into the air, grabbing onto the frame, swinging forward into a back flip and as he lands pyro goes off and ‘You’re The Best’ by Joe Esposito begins to play. Marek rolls forward from the landing and continues down the ramp.

Dennis: Now introducing! From Ishikawa, Japan! Weighing in at 175lbs! The Human Missile! Marek Daaaisuuuke!!!

Vinegar: Marek by far the smallest man in this match but more than makes up for it with speed. It’ll be interesting what he chooses to do if he walks away with the money tonight.

He stops at the bottom and puts his hands on his hips, relishing in the reaction from the audience. He then jumps from the ground, grabbing onto the top rope and vaults into the ring without even touching the apron. He stands on the turnbuckle and puts his arms outward, again relishing in the crowd reaction. He jumps down and stretches in his corner.

I Don’t Care starts to play. Duncan walks out onto the ramp and throws a lighting bolt pose to his right. A pyro fires out into the crowd. He makes the pose to the left and another pyro fires out to the other side. He flexes low in front of himself and sparks flare up around him. He finally flexes his biceps up over his shoulders and three pairs of pyros fire straight up.

Dennis: Up next! From London, England! Weighing in at 240lbs! The Dashing Destroyer! Duncan Ryder!

Vinegar: Duncan has been on something of a roll since splitting from his Cooperative partner Johnny Blake after Battleground. It’s no doubt that he would go for the World Heavyweight title as soon as possible if he can pull out the win here tonight.

Duncan swaggers down to the ring swaggering and grinning like a shit eater.

Pyros explode on the opening rifts of the song, and as the music softens Travis Pierce comes out from backstage.

Dennis: And finally! I’d like to tell you more but he’s very cagey about these things! Travis Piieeerce!!!

Vinegar: Travis Pierce won this matches predecessor last year and used it to claim the World Heavyweight title from Jet Somers at Infinity and its possible the same could happen again.

Lieberjosch: They’re on the same side now. The Piercing Weapons are a solid unit within a greater solid unit, The Human Resources Department, and lets not forget that Pierce has already won a match here tonight.

Vinegar: I’ll never discount anything at Horizons.

Travis walks down to the ring and climbs the steps and through the ropes. The six men stand around the edge of the ring waiting for the bell to go but-

?: Wait just a second.

Vinegar: Robert Ooley? Why do I think Pierce and Ryder’s day is about to get a lot better.

Ooley: Ol’ Bob has been thinking about this here match for a while now and something just didn’t seem right. Everyone knows Travis Pierce is about to kick all your asses.

Vinegar: Ryder looks a little hurt by that.

Ooley: And that’s not good viewing. So Ol’ Bob had to come up with a way to keep his kicking of your asses interesting. You could call it a King of the Hill match but that’s not really accurate. It’s more of a Bitch Of The Hill match.

Lieberjosch: I spoke too soon.

Jay: This is getting exciting.

Ooley: The concept is simple. On this screen up here will be displayed one of your names. The name displayed will be changed at random and will be the only person able to be pinned at that time. Elimination rules are in place until only one of your remains.

Vinegar: Interesting.

Ooley: Now Ol’ Bob doesn’t want you all working together to eliminate people though so to make it interesting, whoever scores a pin fall will not be eligible to be pinned until another fall has been made.

Vinegar: So potentially someone could be safe from elimination nearly an entire match.

Ooley: Except of course when only two remain. That had better be clear because Ol’ Bob’s not going to repeat himself. Ring the bell.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: Here we go, the first UGWC Bitch Of The Hill match.

Ping! Enigma.

Vinegar: Enigma draws the short straw first and unsurprisingly everyone has launched at him. Enigma-

Lieberjosch: Are you sure it’s not Saint Jimmy.

Vinegar: I’m going to go with Enigma for convenience sake and he just knocked NBK back with a stiff punch but Ethan King wastes no time getting his hands on him and clotheslines Enigma over the ropes, sending himself over with it. Pierce and Ryder drop under the ropes too but Marek has run the ropes. Suicide dive, just like a needle, he picks Enigma out of the group and slams him into the guard barrier and Jay, you’re gonna have to help me with the play by play.

Jay: Got your back Jack. Ryder just pulled Marek up by the collar and waistband and tosses him down the line. Pierce just slammed King face first into the barrier and both members of the HRD pull Enigma to his feet.

Vinegar: Marek is back up and just hit a jumping forearm to Ryder’s back that knocks him to his knees. Pierce scoop slams Enigma back onto those thin mats that cover the hard concrete outside the ring.

Lieberjosch: You guys were right. This won’t get difficult to follow at all.

Vinegar: Marek just laying into Ryder with some hard shots to the side of his head as The Dashing Destroyer tries to get back to his feet.

Ping! Marek Daisuke.

Vinegar: And now the Human Missile is in everyone’s sights. Pierce stops stomping down Enigma to close on him but Marek drops him with a shuffle side kick to the stomach. Ethan King steps past him though and Marek drops back around the corner.

Jay: Marek’s ninja speed is going to be a great asset in this match where you’ll have to defend yourself against multiple opponents at a time.

Vinegar: He uses that speed to hit a high roundhouse to King’s head that knocks him into the ring post. Ryder comes past and takes a hard jab to the sternum with a stiff knee to the follow up.

Jay: But he gets cold clocked by NBK from behind who knocks him to the ground. He quickly pulls him back up and throws him under the ropes and back into the ring. Enigma just climbed up onto the apron and goes to springboard but Pierce grabs the rope and knocks him off.

Vinegar: NBK pulls Marek to his feet and head butt’s him. Marek goes down and scrambles to the ropes.

Lieberjosch: Don’t forget Ryder and King recovering on the outside. Geez, don’t reduce me to the droll of play by play too.

Ping: NBK

Vinegar: NBK now the target and Pierce just climbed into the ring. He hits NBK with a clothesline from behind but he can’t put NBK down. The Killer lashes out throwing a lariat of his own as he turns and puts Pierce on the mat.

Jay: Ethan King got up to the apron but Ryder pulls his legs out from under him and King’s face connects with the ground. Ryder slides in and tackles NBK, driving him back into the corner before he can follow up on Pierce.

Lieberjosch: With these two watching each others back as they are we can expect them to be the last men standing in this one.

Vinegar: Marek is back up, checks the screen as Duncan follows up with some extra shoulder thrusts to the torso of NBK. Oh crap, Jay-

Jay: Marek ninja skills! He just jumped off Ryder’s back and landed on the turnbuckle, spinning around and dropping an elbow to the top of NBK’s head. Ryder looks up to see what just happened and becomes a victim as Marek leaps, twists in the air and takes Ryder down with a reverse hurricanrana.

Vinegar: Enigma and King have both slid into the ring from the other side. Enigma tries to go after NBK but King grabs him from behind and hits a back suplex. He’s not letting him get away tonight.

Lieberjosch: Well it’s not going to do him any good while he can’t pin Enigma.

Vinegar: Pierce has recovered in the middle of the ring. NBK just stepped forward and fell on his face. Pierce rolls him over and makes a cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: NBK kicks out and Marek helps Pierce to his feet just to hit a dropkick that sends Pierce spilling to the outside once again.

Ping! Ethan King.

Vinegar: Ethan King has just planted Enigma with a sidewalk slam and is back on his feet. Marek goes to get to grips with him but NBK is back up, grabs Marek’s collar and pulls him down, slamming the back of his head into the mat. King turns and notices he’s in the firing line and goes on the offensive.

Lieberjosch: He’s lucky. Everyone is broken up just now.

Vinegar: King runs to the ropes and comes back with a shoulder block to NBK but he doesn’t move. King hits the ropes again but gets taken over with a power slam by NBK.

Jay: Pierce has climbed back up and onto the turnbuckle as NBK gets to his feet. Missile Dropkick from Pierce connects with NBK.

Lieberjosch: He’s not the only one. Notice Enigma preparing the break the oldest rule in the book too.

Vinegar: Enigma with a corkscrew moonsault to King. It connects. Here’s the cover!

1!

2!

Vinegar: Ryder breaks the cover though. He pulls Enigma to his feet and hits a vertical suplex. Pierce stomps and kicks NBK out under the bottom rope to the floor. Marek is back up as Duncan tries to pull Ethan King to his feet. Ryder notices though and lets King drop to the ground. The Dashing Destroyer rocks the Human Missile back with knife edge and overhand chops, driving him to the corner.

Jay: Ethan King is recovering on his own now though.

Lieberjosch: The Truth Hurts! Pierce hits him with the Truth Hurts. Here’s a pin.

1!

2!

3!

Dennis: Ethan King has been eliminated.

Ping! Marek Daisuke.

Vinegar: Ethan King is the first man to go and Marek is in trouble again. Ryder lifting him onto the top rope.

Lieberjosch: And Pierce is safe until another pin has been scored, unless he makes that pin too.

Vinegar: Pierce sees Ryder setting something up and goes to help out.

Jay: Enigma gets up, runs the ropes and puts him down with a bulldog instead though.

Vinegar: Ryder climbing the ropes. Looks like a superplex in the works. NBK climbs onto the apron and shoves both men off the top! NBK re-entering the ring.

Jay: No, Enigma cuts him off with a running front dropkick that sends NBK flying off the apron and into our Spanish colleagues announce table. Enigma taking control just now.

Vinegar: Enigma rolling Marek clear of where he landed on Ryder and makes the cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Marek kicks out and Enigma mounts him to land a bunch of closed right hands to Marek’s head. Referee Brian Chartreuse goes to break it up but Pierce does his job for him buy locking in a front face lock, pulling Enigma to his feet and nailing him with a DDT.

Ping! Enigma.

Vinegar: That was convenient. Pierce makes a cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Enigma just able to kick out. NBK slides back into the ring and knocks Pierce down with a forearm to the back of the head as he gets up from the pin attempt. Ryder also recovering but NBK knows who the target is and pulls Enigma to his feet. Lifts him with a double chokehold and slams him to the mat.

Jay: No pin attempt though. He’s headed to the corner.

Lieberjosch: Pierce and Ryder are stirring.

Vinegar: Enigma recovers to but- Rumour Has it!! NBK hits the Rumour Has It! Goes for a pin.

Lieberjosch: Pierce and Ryder leap to their feet. Pierce pulls NBK over Enigma’s prone form and Ryder makes the cover.

1!

2!

3!

Dennis: Enigma has been eliminated.

Ping! Marek Daisuke.

Vinegar: Has anyone else noticed neither Pierce nor Ryder have come up yet.

Lieberjosch: They’re scoring the pins.

Vinegar: Pierce is eligible now and he didn’t come up though.

Lieberjosch: Everything is a conspiracy with you isn’t it. It’s random. That’s how it goes.

Vinegar: Marek has been recuperating in the corner since Enigma dropped those shots on him. NBK is up and brawling with Pierce on one side of the ring while Ryder goes after Marek.

Jay: The Fastest Kid Alive living up to the name though as he goes 0 to Blood Shot in nothing flat and splays Ryder across the mat.

Vinegar: NBK gets the best of Pierce here and lifts him from the waist and drops him over the top rope. Pierce bounces off the apron and falls to the ground. NBK turns back, steps over Ryder and charges at Daisuke.

Jay: Marek with a ninja dodge that sends NBK crashing into the turnbuckle. Marek uses the ropes for leverage and hits a stiff kick to the back of NBK’s head. The Killer falls back and Marek makes the cover.

Vinegar: The referee points out he can’t make the pin now though and Marek gets up, clearly frustrated.

Lieberjosch: You don’t see the HRD members making those mistakes. Speaking of which, both of them are recovering and Marek looks pretty worried about it.

Vinegar: Well he’s taking matters into his own hands.

Jay: Shiniiiiiiing Wizaaaaaaaard!

Vinegar: To Ryder. Marek straight to his feet and seamlessly into a slingshot cross body that takes Pierce back down as he tries to recover on the outside.

Ping! NBK.

Vinegar: Now NBK eligible for the fall and once again the HRD members unavailable. Marek the only one on his feet though and he slides back into the ring.

Lieberjosch: NBK is recovering though.

Vinegar: Marek nails him with a Missile Knee though. He hits the ground, bounces through the ropes and goes straight up top. Aerial Emperor! Connects on NBK and he makes the cover.

1!

2!

3!

Dennis: The Natural Born Killer has been eliminated.

Ping: Travis Pierce.

Lieberjosch: There, you happy now?

Vinegar: Well they didn’t have a choice that time. Marek is back up, checks the screen and heads across the ring to where Pierce is trying to recover once again. Tries to climb out but Ryder grabs a hold of his ankle. Marek’s having none of it and wrenches his foot free and gives Ryder a stomp in the chin for good measure.

Lieberjosch: Ryder did the job though, giving Pierce time to get up to the apron. He wrenches Marek’s head over the top rope then slides in under the bottom. That’s the teamwork still going for these two.

Vinegar: Marek turns back under a boot to the gut and a double underhook backbreaker. Pierce runs to the ropes and comes back with a snap elbow drop.

Jay: Marek ninja rolls away and scrambles quickly to his feet and replies with a low dropkick as Travis tries to recover. Pierce scrambles to the ropes but Marek’s all over him, landing a barrage of punches and kicks as Pierce tries to recover his footing.

Vinegar: And one of those right hands just caught him plumb on the chin and Pierce looks dazed. Marek pulls him back to the middle of the ring. He calls that the The Marek-Ill, that Lightning Spiral manoeuvre that dumps Pierce on his head. Here’s a cover.

1!

2!

Ping! Duncan Ryder.

Lieberjosch: Oh that’s unlucky.

Vinegar: Yeah, really unlucky. Brian Chartreuse is forced to break the cover as Pierce isn’t legal anymore. Ryder has been recovering in the corner and just noticed his name come up. He turns just in time to see the running elbow from Marek hit him. Marek steps up to the second rope and launches Ryder with a monkey flip.

Jay: Marek ninja striking all over the place.

Lieberjosch: He doesn’t have to power to keep him down though. Duncan quickly getting to his feet and Travis is recovering to.

Vinegar: Ryder first gets nailed with a Propulsion Kick that slams him back into the corner and he slumps to the ground. Marek’s kips back up and hits Pierce with a jumping spinning heel kick straight out of a kung fu movie that knocks him down. Marek opens a little space and charges into the corner to hit Ryder with a low running knee.

Lieberjosch: Pierce is getting back up again though.

Vinegar: That’s not lost on Marek who bundles him out of the ring through the middle ropes. Ryder tries to stand but he looks shaky and Marek puts him down with a low side suplex. Showing amazing power to lift the much bigger man and put him on the ground.

Lieberjosch: He hardly took him off the ground.

Vinegar: But it did the job. Marek going up top. Flying Lionheart! Here’s the pin.

1!

2!

Ping! Travis Pierce.

Vinegar: Well what do you know.

Lieberjosch: Darn. Marek can’t catch a break here.

Vinegar: Accept it Hans there’s nothing random about this. Someone, most likely Bob Ooley is in control of this and Marek Daisuke is getting screwed.

Lieberjosch: Everyone’s always getting cheated with you. You’re so negative.

Vinegar: Pierce has slid back into the ring and Marek launches at him but Pierce is able to counter with a drop toe hold. He gets back to his feet and lands a few stomps. Ryder too is getting back to his feet.

Lieberjosch: And now the HRD take control.

Vinegar: Pierce brings Marek to his feet as Ryder stands up. Pierce shoves the Human Missile at Ryder who locks him into a full nelson and Pierce unloads with body shots. Ryder ends with a full nelson slam. Both men stomping Marek down now.

Lieberjosch: This is a proud moment, seeing the most cohesive and powerful group in this business going to work.

Vinegar: They’ve brought Marek to his feet again and Duncan lifts him into an Electric Chair.

Lieberjosch: The Hit! Duncan and Travis utilise the Hit Squads old move to nail Marek Daisuke!

Vinegar: But they’re not done. Travis directing traffic. Ryder goes to pull Marek to his feet and-

Jay: Pierce just rolled Ryder up!

Lieberjosch: What?

Ping! Duncan Ryder.

1!

2!

3!

Dennis: Duncan Ryder has been eliminated.

Ping! Marek Daisuke.

Lieberjosch: What just happened?

Vinegar: Well with Marek immune, one of them had to go but it looks to me like Duncan Ryder just got thrown in front of the bus by Bob Ooley.

Lieberjosch: He got unlucky. Why would Mr. Ooley do that?

Jay: Because he has a boner for Pierce.

Lieberjosch: You should mind what you say or you’ll be meeting Louis up close.

Vinegar: Duncan drops out of the ring and just sits down against the crowd barrier as Travis goes straight to a pin attempt on Marek.

1!

2!

Vinegar: No, Marek kicks out. Pierce not wasting any time bringing Marek back up and onto his shoulders. Signing Off. Marek just got nailed and Travis makes the cover again.

1!

2!

Jay: Still not enough to keep the ninja down.

Vinegar: Pierce brings him back up for a third time. The Truth Hurts! No, Marek gets loose and Pierce hits the ground. Marek dives over him, commando roles to his feet and hits the ropes. Pierce gets to his feet in time for Marek to hit him with Down From The Sky. Goes for the cover.

Lieberjosch: Marek just isn’t getting it. Pierce still isn’t eligible. That’s twice now.

Vinegar: Marek gets back up and brings Pierce to his feet. Sends him running with an Irish whip. Backdrop, in Wreckage! Pierce just got nailed!

Lieberjosch: He still can’t pin him though.

Vinegar: Marek’s well aware and I for one am not surprised that screen hasn’t ticked over to Travis and I don’t expect it to.

Jay: Ninjas never give up though.

Vinegar: Marek certainly isn’t as he pulls Travis up and drags him to the corner. Marek steps up to the second rope. He’s got Pierce up again. Wreckage from the second rope! Pierce must be broken.

Lieberjosch: The screen hasn’t changed though.

Vinegar: Marek seems to have something in mind though. He’s dragged Pierce to the middle of the ring and The End! Ezekiel’s finishing hold, that guillotine choke. Pierce has been dropped on his head and neck twice now and Marek is wrenching that neck and cutting off his oxygen.

Lieberjosch: But he can’t win. Why is he bothering?

Jay: Pierce just tapped out!

Lieberjosch: But he can’t lose.

Vinegar: Look at Marek’s face. He’s not going to let this go. Pierce getting desperate now. He’s trying to tap out but the fight can’t end and Marek just keeps wrenching that hold.

Jay: Pierce is going limp.

Vinegar: This is awful. We can all tell Ooley is controlling this but he has to accept defeat. Pierce is done. Everyone in this arena now has one eye on the action and one eye on the screen.

Jay: Marek lets out a ninja power shout.

Vinegar: He’s pumped up and I don’t know if Pierce is even conscious.

…

…

…

Ping! Travis Pierce.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner! The Human Missile! Marek Daaaisuuuuke!

Jay: He did it!

Vinegar: It’s clear tonight that the odds and the HRD were against him but Marek Daisuke overcame and leaves here tonight $10million richer.

Lieberjosch: He really didn’t have to brutalise Pierce like that, and it's not really fair considering this was Pierce's second match of the night. Marek Daisuke is an animal.

Jay: Do you want a do-over?

Vinegar: The referees checking on Pierce in the ring as Marek celebrates. Don’t go anywhere though. Coop-

?: Everyone. Leave. Now.

Vinegar: What the?

The crowd erupt as Johnny Blake appears on the stage. A harness is strapped across his chest holding two metal baseball bats across his back.

Vinegar: It's Johnny Blake!

Lieberjosch: How? That's impossible! Duncan destroyed him. You all saw it!

Jay: What's he carrying?

Lieberjosch: That's called a child Jay.

Jay: Oh, we don't have those. Ninjas are spawned from pods fully matured.

Lieberjosch: Oh, when will you be emerging from your pod then?

Vinegar: Seriously? Johnny Blake just emerged after over a month and you two are bickering between yourselves.

The referees move Travis out of the ring and Marek drops out to make his exit. Duncan makes to move, not realising who is standing there.

Blake: Not you.

Duncan looks up and fear crosses his face.

Blake: Did you really think you were going to put me out? For good? With a poorly executed version of my own move. Oh no Duncan, no you weren't. In a way I should thank you though, you actually did get me back with my daughter. This is Hannah by the way. In another more logical way though I should say, well, the little one could say it better than I can.

Johnny puts Hannah down and gives her the microphone. She grasps it with both hands and holds it to her mouth.

Hannah: My Daddy's gonna kill you.

Vinegar: Oh snap.

On cue Johnny unhooks the pair of bats on his back. A member of security ushers Hannah away as Johnny strides towards the ring. Duncan still looks stunned but rolls out of the ring to face Johnny.

Jay: Here we go!

Duncan throws a wild right at Johnny who hits him in the arm with one bat before jamming the hilt into Duncan's jaw. Duncan staggers back against the apron. As Johnny approaches he throws a wild left that Blake ducks and slams the bat into his abdomen and as Duncan doubles over he takes the other across the back. Duncan arches back up in time for Johnny to spin and smash both bats into his chest and stomach simultaneously. Duncan falls onto his knees and Johnny swings at his head. Duncan is just able to roll clear though and makes a break for the other side of the ring. Johnny snarls as he sets off after him and tosses a bat like a javelin. It hits Duncan in the back and he stumbles but keeps his footing and dives over the crowd barrier.

Vinegar: What a coward. Running like a scolded dog.

Duncan is forced to muscle his way through the crowd, running as fast as he can. As Johnny follows the crowd parts and he simply strides after him, keeping easy pace. Duncan is able to reach the exit first though and disappears, Johnny following soon after.

Vinegar: Well, what another piece of a blockbuster evening here at UGWC Horizons and we're only just getting started. The Cooperative titles are on the line next.

Marek - 4
Pierce - 3
Ryder - 2
Enigma - 0
Ethan - 0
NBK - 0

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Our third of what will apparently be FIVE championship matches at Horizons, and already this has turned out to be one of the best events of this year!

Covert Jay: If not the best!

Vinegar: And it’s set to continue as we come up to our Co-Operative titles match.

Lieberjosch: And if history is anything to go by, the challengers have a lot to try and compete with. No challenger has EVER won the Co-Operative or tag team titles in UGWC or GIW history at horizons.

Vinegar: Well then, this one stipulation may inspire Freak Show Central to become the first team to buck that trend. You see, if they lose, then that’s it for the most decorated team in our history. If they lose, the Freak Show Central will be no more, and Phrixus and Alan will never team again.

DING! DING!

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the CO-OPERATIVE CHAMPIONSHIPS!

“Back in Black”

Chris Peterson and Calypso Desmona walk out from the back, with their co-operative titles in tow.

Dennis: Introducing first, the current co-operative champions, CALYPSO DESMONA AND CHRIS PETERSON!!!!!!

Vinegar: An impromptu team on the night that they won those titles, Chris and Cal have proven to be in sync with each other more so than many teams in this business.

Covert Jay: I still say he’d be more ninja if he stayed with the DRAAAAAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: No matter how many times you say that, it doesn’t become less annoying than the first time you ever said that…

Chris and Cal enter the ring, and hand their titles to the Ref.

“When they come for me”

Dennis: And introducing the challengers, the team of Phrixus Deimos and Alan Fernandez……FREAK SHOW CENTRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: An air of suspense surrounds the arena now as these two walk out for what could be the final time ever. The former six time tag team/co-operative champions, competing together since 2001.

Lieberjosch: What a fitting way to start the new year for them by spanning their teams length from ten to eleven years, or to be the ones to end the FSC in the case of Chris and Cal.

Covert Jay: Come on eleventh year!

Vinegar: Phrixus is the first one in the ring, and it looks like he’ll be the one to start us off against Chris Peterson. A standard lock-up starts us off, Phrixus shifts into a front face lock, pushed off by Peterson who goes for an arm wringer before switching into the arm bar. Phrixus twists out and hits Peterson with a belly to belly suplex!

Lieberjosch: That was an excellent display of technical wrestling!

Vinegar: Phrixus looking over to the opposing corner, as it looks like Cal was about to Interfere…Chris with a sneaky rollup, but he can’t get a good enough grip, and Phrixus rolls through. Punch to the gut of Peterson, and a DDT for good measure.

Lieberjosch: This stipulation definitely has this team much more focused. Even Alan didn’t bring his PSP to the event.

Covert Jay: The thought of losing your best friend would do that to you, you’d know if you even had one.

Vinegar: Peterson recovering quickly, and tries for the Ankle biter, but Phrixus counters into an ensiguri!

Lieberjosch: That’s impressive seeing as he normally doesn’t do that

Covert Jay: THIS…..IS……..SPAAAAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAA……err, I mean…..THIS…….IS…….HORIZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Vinegar: Again, Chris goes to luck up, but a power bomb takes care of that. But the ever-resilient Chris Peterson simply dusts himself off. He takes Phrixus down with a European Uppercut, before locking in a cross-face.

Lieberjosch: Phrixus fights out of it and Knocks Peterson off his feet again with a snapmare.

Covert Jay: Tag! You’re it!

Vinegar: Phrixus with a tag to Alan as the Talk of the town picks up the fallen black knight….POKE TO THE EYE!

Covert Jay: Shades of his mentor!

Vinegar: Referee Sam Green chastising Peterson for that rather blatant eye poke, and rightfully so.

Lieberjosch: Oh, stop your bellyaching! If it works, then why not try it?

Covert Jay: True ninjas abide by a code of honour.

Lieberjosch: Bah! Code shmode.

Vinegar: Fernandez back on his feet as Peterson hits a short arm clothesline, knocking him right back down again. Fernandez pulling himself up to his feet as Chris comes in again....

Covert Jay: SPEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Was that necessary, Jay?

Covert Jay: Probably not, but I don’t care.

Vinegar: And with that, the tides have turned! Alan now on the offensive scoops up Chris, and plants him down with a nice body slam! First pin of the match!

Green: ONE!

Vinegar: And Cal breaks it up. They’re still in this.

Lieberjosch: It was foolish to think he could end it right there. Alan and Chris back on their feet, and duking it out in a typical wrestling slogfest. Alan starts to get the upper hand, but Chris with a sneaky low blow ends the assault before it can come to a head.

Covert Jay: Tag! She’s it!

Vinegar: And here comes the Mistress of pain.

Covert Jay: Again!

Lieberjosch: Alan now trying a lock up, but is met with a stiff right hand to the face, causing him to double back a little.

Vinegar: Cal with a dropkick to Fernandez, doubling him over winded, and takes him down with a spinning neck breaker. Call calling over to Chris, who nods…..what are those two up to?

Lieberjosch: Probably that.

Covert Jay: Teaming!

Vinegar: Peterson just charged across the ring and hit a spear that knocks both himself and Phrixus into that Barricade….Cal leaping from the top turnbuckle as Alan recovers…..A KISS BY CHAOS!!!!!!!!!

Covert Jay: ALAN IS EATING THE PIN!

Lieberjosch: What?

Vinegar: I think he means Alan is being pinned.

Green: ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

DING! DING!

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners AND STIIIIIIIIIIL CO-OPERATIVE CHAMPIONS……….CHRIS AND CAL!!!!!!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Told you….

Vinegar: It seems like the Horizons hoodoo continues another year as the challengers fail to claim the titles.

Covert Jay: Oh poop!

Lieberjosch: Phrixus is only now recovering as Cal takes the titles and helps Chris to his feet. He’s looking on at the ring in some despair, but not as much as Alan, who is just sitting there in the corner. This is truly the end of an era.

Vinegar: Phrixus in the ring now, places a hand on his friends shoulder, and helps him up.

The two exchange a few words, before embracing to a thunderous round of applause from the thousands in attendance.

Lieberjosch: A great showing of respect by the fans to this legendary team. I would wager that we won’t see another like it for quite some time.

Vinegar: The pair sharing another embrace, they-

Covert Jay: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Lieberjosch: Deimos just kicked Fernandez, right below the belt!

Vinegar: And now he lays him out with the Numbing!!!

Covert Jay: Why, Fear? WHY!?!

Vinegar: This crowd can't believe it, Covert Jay can't believe it, and now Deimos goes to the turnbuckle!

Lieberjosch: METEOR PRESS!!!! I love it!

Vinegar: Phrixus Deimos standing over the body of a man that was like a brother to him, he spits on him, leaves him lying in the ring!

Covert Jay: Whyyyyyyyyyy....

Vinegar: It has been a night of surprises, and it shall continue as our next matches come around.

Chris/Cal - 7
FSC - 4

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: What an amazing night it has been here at Horizons!

Lieberjosch: We'd be disappointed with anything less, our showcase event has been full of surprises, we've got a new Chaos Champion that wasn't even on the card, a new rising power with a galactic purse, and we witnessed the end of a legendary cooperative team!

Covert Jay: I'll be sad about that for quite some time.

Vinegar: And the best is yet to come!



Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a Hell in a Cell Match!

The lights fade out and the GlobalTron turns black. It slowly lights up and we see two fit looking cheerleaders standing there. They begin a short cheer:

“Be Aggressive! B - E Aggressive!”

The Tron fades to black again and the chorus of ‘The River’ by Good Charlotte begins to play as the Tron shows a short montage of Ezekiel’s earlier years in GIW. Included are War & Peace winning the tag titles and his feuds with Garth Gaffney, Tobias Erndhardt, and Raenius.

“Baptized in the river
I've seen a vision of my life
And I wanna be delivered
In the city was a sinner
I've done a lot of things wrong
But I swear I'm a believer
Like the prodigal son
I was out on my own
Now I'm trying to find my way back home”

We hear static like someone is finding a radio station as the screen fades to black before ‘Chorus of Angels’ by Haste the Day begins to play. As it plays, the Tron shows Ezekiels resurrection, his various opponents during his win streak, and him winning the Chaos Championship.

“Chorus of angels, destroy my silence,
That haunts me, It claims me,
While darkness walks beside me.

I saw the angels sing along to wake up the beautiful sleeping world.
Their voices will rise to test the strength of man.
Wake up the beautiful sleeping world.”

Again, we hear static before the chorus from ‘Edge of Glory’ by Lady Gaga begins to play. As this plays, we see Ezekiel win and lose the Cross-Hemisphere title and highlights from his Global Championship match versus Tyvola, mostly showcasing the times where Ezekiel nearly won.

“I'm on the edge of glory, and I'm hanging on a moment of truth
Out on the edge of glory, and I'm hanging on a moment with you.
I'm on the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge, the edge,
I'm on the edge of glory, and I'm hanging on a moment with you
I'm on the edge with you.”

One last time, we hear static before ‘Raised by Wolves’ by Falling in Reverse begins to play. The first two bits are sung as the Tron shows the path that lead Ezekiel to Horizons. His attack on Medos and Donovan Hastings backstage, his temporary return at Outlast, Rudo turning on his own team at Outlast, and the antics between the two in the last month or so.

“I was lost now I'm found,
I'm sustained by the sound,
Of the angels singing me to sleep,
While my feet are leaving the ground,
Am i dead? Or am I dreaming instead?
A cornucopia of opiates have flooded my head

I'm insane, I am smart,
All it takes, is a spark, to ignite my bad intentions,
And do what I do best to your heart,
Don't be fooled I was raised by the wolves,
now the moon hangs in full, so you know I won't play by the rules”

As the music picks up harder, Ezekiel makes his way out onto the stage. He stands at the top of the ramp, soaking in the music and boos from the fans. He slowly walks down the ramp with an extremely serious look on his face. As he reaches the cell, he runs his hands along it and smirks a bit. He makes his way through the cell door and enters the ring.

Dennis: Introducing the challenger, hailing from Los Angeles, California, he is the Red-Eyed Wonder, EZEEEEEEEEEEEEKIEL PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!!

Ezekiel climbs onto the turnbuckle and spreads his arms out, yelling obscenities at the fans before stepping down. He grabs the microphone from Mitchell Dennis as the music fades.

Ezekiel: Listen up, bitches. What you just saw was the legendary history of the most talented mother fucker in this business. What you’re looking it isn’t a rising star. You’re looking at the catastrophic meteor that is aiming directly at Ol’ Squidface. Rudo, you asked for this and now you’re going to see why I am called the Iron Man. I am unbreakable. I am invincible. I am the mother.. fuckin’.. IRON MAN!!

He tosses the microphone to Dennis and awaits the arrival of Prince Rudo.

Lieberjosch: Did he really just use Lady Gaga for his entrance package?

Covert Jay: Maybe he's recovering from a bad romance.



The tribal beat of Kanye West's "Power" reverberates through the arena, accompanied by pulsing strobes. The royal crest overtakes the tron screen as purple smoke rises from the entrance way. Prince Rudo slowly cuts through the smoke clad in a long coat. He stops at the top of the ramp, turns back towards the crest and slams his fist to his heart in salute. He then whips around with a flourish and stalks down the ramp, avoiding the outreached hands of the crowd as if they were lepers.

Dennis: And his opponent, he is the reigning and defending Cross-Hemisphere Champion, from the Darkness, the Puppet Master, PRINCE RUUUUUUUUDDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Vinegar: There may be no more appropriate nickname for any of our Entertainment Professionals than that of Prince Rudo, who seems to pull the strings of many of the rest of our employees.

Lieberjosch: Speak for yourself, we're watching a man enter the cell that is full of confidence.

Vinegar: Brian Chartreuse is in the ring, Hazel East outside the cell, locking these two competitors inside, this match can only end by pinfall or submission.

DING DING!!!

Vinegar: Ezekiel exploding on Rudo to open this match, a flurry of Muay Thai strikes, Rudo blocking as best he can, and now he backs away, his hands up.

Lieberjosch: He wasn't ready!

Vinegar: But Ezekiel is plenty ready, and he drills him with Comatose!

Covert Jay: Rudite out of the crowd!

Vinegar: Not sure where he came from, but an individual dressed in black, wearing the mask of the House of Rudo, has hopped the barricade and is now trying to scale the cell on the outside, security grabbing his leg and trying to pull him back down.

Lieberjosch: It distracts Ezekiel for a moment, and Rudo capitalizes, grabbing Zeke by his shorts and throwing him through the ropes to ringside!

Vinegar: Rudo rolls to the outside, tapping his head as he looks out to the crowd, and now he grabs Ezekiel by the head and drags him face first across the cell wall!

Lieberjosch: Zeke manages to elbow him away, shoves Rudo into the ring post!

Covert Jay: That's using your head!

Vinegar: Ezekiel pushes Rudo into the ring, slides in and covers with a lateral press!





ONE!!!





Vinegar: Rudo shoves him off!

Covert Jay: Ezekiel off the ropes, Ode to the Elbow!

Lieberjosch: Rudo ducks under it, grabs Zeke and hits a backbreaker.

Vinegar: Rudo pulls Ezekiel up, setting up a bulldog and charging to the turnbuckle.

Lieberjosch: Zeke shoves him away, Rudo's momentum takes him into the turnbuckle, he spills over it to ringside!

Covert Jay: Rudites!!

Vinegar: More masked individuals rushing out of the crowd, trying to scale the cell, pulling at the chains.

Covert Jay: You'd think if they really want to get in they'd just blitz Hazel and take the key.

Lieberjosch: Don't give them the idea.

Vinegar: Security doing the best that they can to clear the ringside area, meanwhile Ezekiel vaults the ropes, crossbody tackle!

Covert Jay: Rudo catches him, fallaway slam hurls Zeke right into the cell wall!

Lieberjosch: The Cross-Hemisphere Champion using the cell as a weapon, nothing Brian Chartreuse can do about it, he's just there to count the pin.

Vinegar: Prince Rudo again, dragging the face of the challenger across the cell wall, and now he flings him into the steel steps!

Lieberjosch: Rudo will use everything available to him to damage Ezekiel, he is cold and calculating and will take every opportunity.

Covert Jay: You have to, especially inside Hell in a Cell.

Vinegar: Ezekiel is busted open!

Covert Jay: The Red-Eyed Wonder is a red-faced mess!

Vinegar: Ezekiel rolls into the ring, slow to get up.

Lieberjosch: Rudo Awakening!

Vinegar: Rudo with the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!





Vinegar: Ezekiel kicks out!

Covert Jay: And now Prince Rudo on one knee, saying something to Ezekiel.

Lieberjosch: How can you tell? He's wearing a mask.

Covert Jay: When you wear the mask of the ninja, you understand even the most nuanced of such things from the lesser masked.

Vinegar: Rudo now motioning for the crowd to bow to him, Ezekiel using the ropes to pull himself up.

Lieberjosch: Shining Prince!

Vinegar: But Ezekiel drops and pulls down the top rope, Rudo's momentum takes him over the ropes, sends him spilling to ringside!

Lieberjosch: Rudo trying to get back to his feet, but Ezekiel rolls out after him.

Covert Jay: HIGH BEAM!!!!

Vinegar: Ezekiel, spearing Rudo right into the cell wall!

Covert Jay: And now he's climbing the wall!

Lieberjosch: Ezekiel has lost a lot of blood, his brains must be scrambled, now he thinks he's in a Cage Match! There's nowhere to go up there!

Vinegar: More masked individuals have sprung from the crowd, not quite sure where they're all coming from, this is getting a bit out of hand.

Lieberjosch: They're scaling the cell, some trying to tear it open, others trying to get to the roof!

Vinegar: Ezekiel is halfway up the cell, he sees one of the intruders mirroring him on the outside, pushes off the cell with his feet, holding on with his hands...JESUS CHRIS ON A POGO STICK!!!

Covert Jay: Zeke just kicked the cell with enough force to knock the Rudite off, sending him crashing to ringside!

Lieberjosch: That guy's gonna need help!

Vinegar: Security is busy trying to keep the rest of this mob off the cell, as more and more come spilling out of the crowd!

Lieberjosch: Rudo has crawled back into the ring, Ezekiel looking down at him from the wall of the cell!

Vinegar: FOR THE LOVE OF GABBY'S YAWNING HIPPO!!!

Covert Jay: Zeke just launched himself from the cell wall all the way into the ring with the FORE-n Object!

Vinegar: A flying elbow buried deep into the chest of Rudo, but the impact has taken a lot out of Ezekiel as well, and they are both down.

Lieberjosch: Geeze, where do these people keep coming from? Do we even have fans left?

Vinegar: Masked individuals continue to come out of the crowd, which still somehow appears to be at capacity, this is mayhem, both men slowly rising to their feet.

Lieberjosch: The Masterplan!

Vinegar: But Ezekiel blocks it, Rudo trying to get back up, right into a kick to the gut!

Covert Jay: EDT!!!

Vinegar: Ezekiel rolls Rudo over, right into The End!

Lieberjosch: He's got him locked in that submission manuever, but the mob is now entirely enveloping the cell!

Vinegar: We've got people on the roof, all over the walls, the cell has been plunged into darkness, we can't see inside!

Lieberjosch: Why don't we have a camera inside there that we could cut to?

Vinegar: Because nobody was crazy enough to agree to go in there with them.

Covert Jay: And the one guy that was just resigned.

Vinegar: We have absolutely no idea what's going on inside the Hell in a Cell, a mob of Rudo's followers have completely surrounded the cell, its walls, and its roof, and now Owen Peterson and Sam Green coming down the ramp with more security, trying to get these people out of here, or at least off the cage.

Lieberjosch: Owen Peterson appearing to have way too much fun with a taser.

Covert Jay: Well they have to get off there somehow.

Lieberjosch: And now comes Director Ooley!

Vinegar: Robert Ooley with his baseball bat in hand, coming down the ramp, looks extremely angry, shouting things I can't repeat.

Lieberjosch: By personal choice, I assume, since we abandoned the standards of good taste eons ago.

Covert Jay: Ooley smacking Rudites with the bat, Peterson tasing Rudites on the other side, Sam Green and security pulling them down off the cell!

Vinegar: This is madness!

Covert Jay: THIS...IS...UG...WC!!!!!!

Vinegar: We can finally see in again, Rudo has Ezekiel pinned, but Chartreuse is watching the mayhem all around the cell.

Lieberjosch: Fortunately Sam Green gets his attention, points the pin out to him!

Vinegar: Chartreuse sliding into position!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!





Vinegar: Ezekiel gets the shoulder up!

Lieberjosch: Rudo wastes no time pulling Ezekiel to the corner, sets him up on the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: It's the Great Terrible Eye!

Vinegar: But Ezekiel pushes off the turnbuckle with his feet, twists his body and counters into a crossbody tackle!

Lieberjosch: And you have to believe this is just pure instinct on the part of Ezekiel Pax, who has lost buckets of blood, and who knows what Rudo did to him when we couldn't see.

Vinegar: Ezekiel steadies himself, lifts Rudo up!

Covert Jay: Looking for the Cross-Over!

Vinegar: Rudo escapes, Ezekiel turns around into a kick to the gut!

Lieberjosch: POSTCARD FROM OBLIVION!!!

Vinegar: Rudo with the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!





THRE-





Vinegar: EZEKIEL GETS THE SHOULDER UP!!!!

Lieberjosch: Unbelievable!

Vinegar: Rudo is clutching at the back of his head, he may have suffered an injury here tonight.

Lieberjosch: I wouldn't be surprised, both of these men have given their all here tonight, and frustration is mounting with each nearfall.

Vinegar: Pax is to his feet, I don't think Rudo has seen him yet, he's still massaging the back of his head, possibly trying to shake off a potential neck injury.

Jay: Pax is stancing it up!

Lieberjosch: The High Flyer has noticed that he has the element of surprise on his side momentarily, and he is preparing himself for one final big move.

Vinegar: The Lord of the Realm turns around and takes a boot to the gut! Now Pax is lifting him up onto his shoulders.

Lieberjosch: He's looking for the Peace Out, that elevated cutter, if it hits this is all over!

Vinegar: Pax spinning Rudo out...wait, the Prince has slipped right through his grasp!

Jay: THE MASK IS OFF!

Vinegar: Rudo must have been unlacing the back of his mask, he slipped it off like a snake shedding its skin and Pax stumbles forward. The Iron Man turns back around, ready to swing but he's stopped in his tracks by what he sees.

Jay: What does he see? Switch cameras!

Vinegar: Baw god!

Lieberjosch: Mein gott!

Jay: Holy fucking ninja!

Vinegar: It's Moss Edwards! Creative Director Moss Edwards was underneath that mask! And he takes advantage of Pax's dumbstuck moment to fire off a buzzsaw kick! Pax goes down! And there's the cover!





ONE!!!





TWO!!!





THREE!!!!!





Dennis: Here is your winner, Prin.....um....Moss....um....well shit, look in the ring, you can figure it out.

Vinegar: The crowd erupts, I don't think they ever thought they'd see Moss Edwards in the ring again.

Lieberjosch: I know I didn't, after his accident a few weeks ago I didn't even expect to see him backstage again. How long do you think he's been wearing that mask?

Vinegar: I can't say, Hans. I really can't say.

Jay: NINJA MAGICIAN!

Vinegar: Edwards smiling as he retrieves the Cross-Hemisphere Title and he calls the cameraman over. He points at the big red RUDO nameplate and tears it off...it says Moss underneath!

Jay: My head hurts!

Vinegar: Yet another shocking Horizons moment, and more questions about what is going to happen next year, but we still have two huge matches to deal with. Up next, The Dragon puts it all on the line for one last chance at the Lord of Pain!

Rudo - 6
Zeke - 5

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: Shocking events just a few moments ago, as not only has Prince Rudo retained the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, but we've learned his true identity is none other than Moss Edwards himself!

Lieberjosch: For all his talking and hyping, Ezekiel failed to conquer Rud...er, Moss...in the first Hell in a Cell match in two years. Hail to the Prince of the...I mean, the Head of Creative...oh, whatever.

Vinegar: Ezekiel Pax is still in the ring, he's a bloody mess, looks like Brian Chartreuse is explaining to him what happened.

Covert Jay: NINJA!

“Diamantina Drover”

Ethan walks out to a huge reaction, a huge smile etched on his face.

Ethan: Ezekiel, That is just karma!

Zeke glares at Ethan.

Ethan: If it wasn’t for you, Zeke, JK would have not thrown the Bushfire match at No Holds Barred, he would’ve kicked your ass, and he would have been leaving Horizons tonight as the Cross-Hemisphere champion. JK is the rightful Cross-Hemisphere champ, but you convinced him to throw everything for your benefit! It’s so easy to see that anyone can beat you without the help of TVK

Zeke: Well why don’t you come down here and prove that theory, bro.

Vinegar: Ethan storming down to the ring and unloading a barrage of rights and lefts right at the face of Ezekiel! Zeke trying to cover up, but it’s no good! Ethan dropping Ezekiel with a nice DDT….wait…

Lieberjosch: There’s some commotion in the audience….

Covert Jay: FALSE IDOL!

Vinegar: Marek jumping the barricade and coming to the aid of his friend. Ethan trying to fight off the assault, but it’s to no avail. He’s simply outnumbered!

Covert Jay: Here comes the cavalry!

Lieberjosch: Had to know he’d be here……

Vinegar: The new Chaos Champion, Paul Cockatoo charging down to the ring, and taking care of Marek, as Ezekiel and Ethan now finally have an even battle. Paul looks like he might be getting the upper hand over Marek right here…

Covert Jay: Crazy man!

Lieberjosch: Jimmy/Enigma coming out here….and helping TVK?

Vinegar: Jimmy/Enigma takes Paul down with a clothesline, before going over to help Ezekiel with Ethan. They beat him back to the ropes as Marek stomps on the body of Paul and….what the….

Lieberjosch: Oh great! Looks like the stupid arena owners forgot to pay the damned power bills.

Vinegar: I find that highly unlikely, but every light has indeed shut off here…it’s almost impossible to see more than three feet in front of you. What’s going on?

Covert Jay: The screen! It’s alive!

A crackling noise comes over the speakers as static now lights the screen, illuminating all everything in front of it. Soon, the crackling stops, and the screen goes blank. Writing slowly types its way onto the screen.

Screen: So you thought I was done for a while? You thought that I would be gone for good? You thought wrong…

Lieberjosch: What the hell is this???

PA system: T minus five, four three, two one…….

Power out again.

Vinegar: This is odd….

Lieberjosch: That’s putting it light….what the hell?

Covert Jay: What is that?



A small section of fans cheer first at the recognition of this song before the lights flicker to those familiar colours

Vinegar: HE’S BACK!

Lieberjosch: Dear god! I can barely believe it!

Covert Jay: NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The fans erupt as the one and only JK walks out onto the ramp with a huge grin on his face

Vinegar: Only a month ago, we saw JK take a brutal electric shock which left him comatose, but he’s back, and looks happier than ever!

Lieberjosch: I don’t know why they’re cheering, he’ll probably help the TVK…

Covert Jay: He has that Cricket bat…

Vinegar: AND BURIES IT INTO THE ABDOMEN OF EZEKIEL AS HE COMES TO WELCOME HIM!!!!

Lieberjosch: What the hell was that for?

Vinegar: JK does the same thing to Marek as Jimmy/Enigma bails from the ring. Jasmine now coming out to the ring with an Aussie Rebels T-shirt. She slides into the ring and hands it to JK who slips it on straight away to a massive cheer from the fans!

Covert Jay: Ethan embraces the kid in a cousinly way.

Vinegar: And now JK helping Paul up, this is the real test. Paul and JK have not been on speaking terms for quite some time. They exchange a few words, before embracing as well.

JK breaks out of the embrace and takes a mic

JK: G’day everyone.

Huge cheering

JK: I am indeed back from the brink, and I’m happy to take on anyone next year when I return for good. Now, some of you may be wondering why I just turned my back on the TVK just like that. Well, while I was knocked out, I had somewhat of an epiphany. I realised that Ezekiel Pax was just using me to propel himself to the top. You see, Marek and I were his bodyguards. We did the dirty work, and he gained the glory.

The fans boo.

JK: And I know it may be hard to believe, Zeke, but I did hear ya when you barged into my hospital room a few weeks after I went into the coma. No one, and I mean NO ONE bad mouths the woman I love, and my family whom I care for as deep as anything. Those comments you made where completely out of line, and you will pay dearly for this.

JK drops the mic as What a great Night by the Hilltop Hoods hits again. He raises his arms as the Aussie Rebels vacate the ring.

Vinegar: What a night!

Lieberjosch: And it’s not over yet!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: We've already had quite a few twists and turns here tonight at Horizons, but in terms of sheer emotion, I don't know if anything is going to match our next bout.

Lieberjosch: You said it, Nicholas. The joy that is going to be on Lord Hastings' face when he finally ends the career of Alex Kiseragi is going to be infectious. I can't wait.

Vinegar: Whoever wins, I don't think there will be much joy to be seen. This is going to be brutal, this is going to be diabolical. Because Alex Kiseragi and Donovan Hastings are about to enter-

Jay: THE DRAAAAAAAGOOOOOOOON..........'s cave.

Vinegar: While they set up the ring, let's see some of the lead-up to this high-stakes match-up.




After the video ends, a steady drumbeat keeps the crowd's attention on the GlobalTron. A figure is walking along the hallway, the camera follows behind him. He is clad in a Dragon's Cave Gym hoodie. As he walks, he is joined by more men in their training clothes, forming a tightknit unit as they make their way to the gorilla position. When they reach the entrance, the hoodie comes off, revealing the scars that the following match is able to inflict. The camera pans around them as they bump fists, slap hands and hug. Alex Kiseragi nods to his students one last time, and steps out onto the stage.

Madison Square Garden comes unglued as The Dragon readies his stance. He holds steady, intensely concentrating before breaking into a smile and acknowledging the huge ovation. He gets back into his position then throws a kick to the left, sending pyro into the air. A kick to the right, more pyro. Then a cry of rage and a palm thrust forward causes the tron to erupt and shower sparks down onto the current owner of the Dragon's Cave. He walks down the ramp and crosses over a wooden slat laid across the coals surrounding the ring.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the Dragon's Cave Match. This match can only be won by pinfall or submission, and the winner will earn full ownership of the Dragon's Cave Gym. Introducing first, from San Francisco, California, weighing in at 225 pounds, ALEEEEEEEX KIIISEERAAAAAAGIIIII!

Alex slides under the bottom rope, jumps onto a turnbuckle and poses for the crowd. He backflips off the post and stands next to an old Asian man who has brought the dangerous materials for this match into the center of the ring.

Jay: DRAAAAGOOOOON!

Vinegar: Alex Kiseragi has been the victor of the previous two Dragon's Cave matches, each has been a truly vicious affair.

The opening chords of “Ripper” come over the loud speaker and the lights seem to get low, casting a blue hue over the arena. Donovan Hastings steps onto the stage, clad in his trademark cloak. He turns around, arms outstretched, revealing on his back a black velvet painting of himself slaying a dragon. The painting glows brightly, reacting to the blacklights. He casts it off and turns back towards the ring, sly smile on his face. The lights return to normal as he stomps down the ramp.

Dennis: And his opponent, from Hartford, Connecticut, weighing in at 230 pounds, the Lord of Pain, DONOVAAAAN HAAAASTIIIINGS!

Donovan looks uneasily at the wooden slat before crossing it and rolling into the ring. He takes his place across the ceremonial baskets and stares daggers at Alex.

Vinegar: As the attendant wraps both mens' fists, let's review the dangers of the Dragon's Cave match.

Lieberjosch: Much like a Taipei deathmatch, the combatants are going to have their hands wrapped, dipped in glue, and then covered with shards of glass. If that wasn't enough, the ring floor has been covered with coals. Under those coals we have placed pyro equipment that will periodically flare up to keep the coals burning.

Jay: It will be like Glenn Jacobs entering the ring every two minutes.

Vinegar: As you can see, a sort of plexiglass blast shield has been added to the ring barricade to help shield the crowd from the flames, but this still may be one of the few matches you may be happier to watch from the cheap seats.

Lieberjosch: The attendant is now dipping both men's hands into the glue.

Vinegar: Notice that Hastings is watching his hands disappear into the substance while Kiseragi's gaze is directly fixed on his opponent.

Jay: Ninja concentration!

Vinegar: And now it is time to add the glass shards, Donovan seems unsure on how to best go about it, Kiseragi, though, is now an old pro at this, he shoves his hands straight down into the pile.

Lieberjosch: Pulling them back out, you can see why any rational human being would hesitate stepping into this sort of contest.

Jay: Real rational people gamble against Tyvola.

Lieberjosch: Just let it go.

Jay: You condemned your entire subdivision, you know that right?

Vinegar: Hastings appears to be picking out shards and individually placing them onto his tape.

Lieberjosch: He is trying to ensure that each piece is in the most strategically advantageous spot.

Vinegar: The attendant, though, has little patience for such “strategy”, and he plunges Donovan's hands into the glass and rolls them around. Both competitors' fists are now totally coated in sharp glass. The attendant is leaving, once he has exited the ring the wooden slats will be removed and the coals will begin firing.

DING DING!

Vinegar: Both men circling each other and already the smell of the smoldering coals has to be hitting their nostrils, reminding them that there is no safe place for them this evening.

Jay: It's giving me a hankering for some ribs.

Vinegar: Alex feints a right hand, Hastings backs off. Circling some more. Alex faints a left, Hastings backs off.

Lieberjosch: Waiting for the Dragon to make a move so he can counter it, that's what the Lord of Pain does best.

Vinegar: The Dragon does make a move, stepping forward and snapping off a right jab inches from Hastings face, Hastings backs again and steps out between the ropes.

Lieberjosch: Great strategy. In a normal match, this would keep Alex at bay slightly longer.

Vinegar: But this is far from a normal match, and that blast of fire on his backside just reminded him of the fact! Hastings leaps up onto the turnbuckle to avoid the flames.

Jay: And the Dragon uses his ninja anticipatory skills to catch him at the top...Frankensteiner!

Vinegar: Hastings lands in the center of the ring, and Alex catches him with a kick as he tries to get back to his feet.

Lieberjosch: He rolls out of the way of that second kick though and springs to his feet with a vicious lariat.

Vinegar: Both men make some distance as they get to their feet.

Lieberjosch: Hastings makes the first move, swinging a hard haymaker.

Jay: Kiseragi ducks and fires off a knife edge chop.

Lieberjosch: Hastings leans out of the way and uses the momentum to swing a discus-style forearm.

Jay: It sails over the Dragon's head as he takes off towards the ropes.

Lieberjosch: Hastings is waiting for him on the way back, lifts him over his head in a simple back drop.

Jay: Kiseragi flips in the air and lands on his feet, bounds from the mat and springboards off the middle rope for a back elbow.

Lieberjosch: Donovan catches him in mid air and lifts him up for a back suplex.

Jay: Alex kicking his legs to change the momentum and he takes Hastings over into a headlock.

Vinegar: These two men have had such the storied past, they really can anticipate what the other is going to do. When you get into such a longstanding rivalry, it's going to be the one who can really stretch themselves and think outside their normal boundaries that will get the early advantage.

Lieberjosch: Hastings rolls over onto his knees, Kiseragi alters his grip into front facelock. The Lord of Pain charges him into the corner to break it and then fires off a back elbow to the face. He feigns stepping away, then throws another hard elbow. See, Nicholas, it doesn't matter what kind of match you force the Lord Chief Nigga into, he will always excel.

Vinegar: While he's busy gloating, Alex grabs Hastings by the back of the head and shoves it between the ropes, holding his face over the coals as the fire shoots higher and higher. Donovan slaps his hand away and goes scurrying across the mat.

Lieberjosch: And your hero, the Dragon, just laughs at him.

Vinegar: Kiseragi is taking a moment to relish tormenting the man who has done so much to him over the past year, and to so many others before that. Some may say the Lord of Pain is getting his just desserts.

Jay: I like to eat just desserts too. One time I had a whole box of ice cream sandwiches for breakfast.

Vinegar: Alex following closely behind the scampering Hastings, and now reaching for him.

Lieberjosch: A vicious backhand from Lord Hastings sends Kiseragi straight to the mat!

Vinegar: That is one seriously sour look on the Lord's face.

Lieberjosch: He does not take kindly to being made a fool of, Nicholas.

Jay: We have blood! Look, we have blood!

Vinegar: Indeed, Hastings inspects the back of his fist and sees the first of what will unfortunately be many drops of crimson in this bout.

Lieberjosch: Kiseragi rolling to his knees, you can see the scratch on his cheek. You have to know that there is a psychological advantage in being the man who drew first blood.

Vinegar: Alex standing back up and both men circle each other once again. Hastings throwing another left hand, The Dragon dodges and dolls out a stiff high kick to the sternum, following it up with a chop to the side of the head forcing Hastings to his knees.

Lieberjosch: Kiseragi quick to apply an armbar. Now, those who only watch wrestling for mindless violence may ask...

Jay: What's with the submission hold? Just punch him a lot!

Lieberjosch: But in this case, applying weardown holds like this is, I hate to admit it, a smart move. See, you are not just hyper-extending the joint but you are also adding the extra torture of those shards digging into the skin, it's two pains at once.

Vinegar: Lord Hastings keeps the presence of mind to sneak his other arm around A-Kis' leg and he lifts up to to deliver a modified fireman's carry and break the armbar, but Kiseragi rolls out of the way of a his follow-up kneedrop. And Alex hops to his feet before Hastings can get off of his knees.

Jay: WOOOOOO!

Vinegar: The Dragon is swinging down and laying some vicious knife-edge chops into the chest of Lord Hastings.

Lieberjosch: Stabbing down at an angle like that may be doing even more damage than if they were coming head-on. They're tearing instead of going in and out cleanly, and the Dragon is letting loose a flurry like some sort of homicidal maniac!

Vinegar: Donovan's chest is a blood mess as Kiseragi takes his last swing. Then follows up with a kick to the side of the head. The Lord crumples to the mat. Alex rolls him over for the lateral press!

1!




2!



Kick out!


Vinegar: Alex could only hope to get a quick victory in this one and get out unscathed. He puts Hastings into position for a piledriver.

Lieberjosch: The Lord of Pain leaps to his feet and whips him to the mat with an Alabama Slam! As evenly matched as they are, the strength advantage has always gone to Hastings. And now the Lord places his foot on Alex's windpipe, pinning him to the mat, negating his speed advantage.

Jay: Ninjaing?

Lieberjosch: NEGATING.

Jay: Damn.

Vinegar: There are of course no disqualifications in this match, but official Sam Green does manage to convince Hastings to take his foot off of Alex's throat. Alex rolls over onto his stomach as he gasps for air.

Lieberjosch: Hastings grabs ahold of him by the hair and rains closed fists down onto his forehead, opening him up near the temple. Just a note, both of these competitors had to submit to and pass a blood test to avoid any Abdullah the Butcher-style fiascos.

Jay: Quit reminding me of food!

Vinegar: Now the Lord lifts the Dragon up and locks the head, he could be looking at the Destiny's Call, Kiseragi puncturing him in the side to keep him from executing the lift.

Lieberjosch: So the Lord drops him with a quick DDT instead, and now it is Hastings applying an arm hold and digging that glass deep into the shoulder muscle. The more he can wear that limb down, the easier it will be to lock on the Hands of Fate whenever he wills it so.

Jay: The Dragon rakes his claws up NiggaDon's back.

Vinegar: Kiseragi is indeed drawing harsh scratches along Hastings' spine, and it forces the Lord to release the hold but the damage may have already been done, that is a deep gash along the arm of the Dragon.

Lieberjosch: And Hastings is smart to continue his assault, even after breaking the hold he hops to his feet and aims some heavy stomps onto the injured limb, opening that cut up some more. Now dead lifting the Dragon and pressing him back to the mat with a reverse powerslam.

Vinegar: Hastings stepping back as the Dragon struggles to a knee, using the ring ropes to pull himself up.

Lieberjosch: The Lord charges for a face wash, drives that boot right into the already crimson-stained temple of the Dragon and knocks him halfway out of the ring, Kiseragi is dangling over the flames.

Jay: Ninja fireball evasion!

Vinegar: Alex barely avoids taking a full on blast as that activator fires, you can smell the singed hair.

Lieberjosch: And he rolls right into the waiting arms of Lord Hastings, he lifts him up uranage style and drives him back to the mat, he's trying to lock on the Hands of Fate!

Jay: Ninja flexibility! Yoga style defense!

Vinegar: Alex manages to bring his foot up to push up against Hastings and create a barrier to his trademark submission.

Lieberjosch: So Hastings adapts and slams that leg into the mat, DDT style. And back into an armbar, reversing the leverage this time to do more damage to the other side of the joint. Donovan is punching the arm, just punishing the Dragon.

Vinegar: Kiseragi reaching for the ropes, but there are no breaks in this match.

Jay: Do a barrel roll!

Vinegar: The Dragon springs himself through the ropes, pulling Hastings behind him and hanging him neck first to break the armbar. Kiseragi manages to wrap his other arm and legs around the bottom rope and keep himself from tumbling into the coals, but the heat is lapping at his back, you can almost see the blisters forming.

Lieberjosch: The Lord of Pain is getting angrier with each reversal. He grabs Kiseragi by the head and violently yanks him back into the ring, depositing him in a heap on the mat without releasing the front facelock. Now another show of strength as he pulls his opponent up to his feet, he's going for the Destiny's Call again.

Jay: His left...kneee!

Vinegar: The Dragon using his flexibility again, kneeing Hastings in the face to avoid the brainbuster, he gets back to the ground, throws one of those glass-laden fists into the Lord's gut, doubling him over. Now Kiseragi hits the ropes, looking for the official move of classic GIW...

Jay: SHIIIINIIIING WIIIIZAAA.....FUCK!

Lieberjosch: Did you not think Lord Hastings would have the Shining Wizard scouted by now? He surges forward with a shoulder tackle. The Lord of Pain takes a moment to gloat, think how sweet this victory will be. Being the man who took two careers away from Alex Kiseragi.

Vinegar: Alex though quick to recover and he throws a hard kick to the back of the knee, buckling Hastings. And he follows it up with the most vicious high kick I think I've ever seen, opening those wounds on the chest and knocking Hastings to the ground.

Jay: DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGOOOOON!!!

Vinegar: Hastings stumbling to his feet, Kiseragi catches him with a front drop kick and knocks him into the corner. Now charging and Alex comes flying at him with a forearm splash. A flurry of forearm shivers, the glass connects also, leaving cuts on Donovan's forehead.

Lieberjosch: The Lord sinks down to the mat, he may have been knocked for a loop by that sequence.

Vinegar: Alex not going to give him time to recover though, he reaches down for him.

Jay: SUPAKICK!

Lieberjosch: Hastings lured The Dragon in! And he gives him that patented Glass-Covered Hastings Superkick!

Vinegar: Alex Kiseragi will be lucky if he can still see out of that eye! Blood is streaming down his face again!

Lieberjosch: Hastings coming up behind, inverted backbreaker...and HE TRANSITIONS STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF FATE!

Vinegar: It's locked in tight! Those arms are bent into an unnatural position and the glass shards are digging in deeper and deeper!

Jay: Come on Dragon! Ninja something!

Vinegar: Alex kicking and struggling...

Lieberjosch: It's no use, Nicholas, the Lord of Pain simply has too much leverage, and he's synching that move on so tightly that his own hands are pouring blood.

Vinegar: Hastings shouting at Kiseragi to give up, both men look like they've been painted red.

Crowd: LET'S GO DRAGON... (crash crash crash)

Vinegar: The crowd is banging on the blast shield! That plexiglass isn't heatproof, they could burn their hands, but they are willing to do it to show support for this man who has put his body, career, and life on the line in this damnable match three times!

Crowd: LET'S GO DRAGON..(crash crash crash)

Jay: NIIIINJAAAAAA!

Vinegar: Kiseragi drawing on the energy of the crowd, he's arching his knees, making a bridge....he flips over! Alex Kiseragi pushes off the mat and rolls himself over top of Lord Hastings, and between the momentum and the slipperiness of their blood, he slips out of the hold!

Lieberjosch: Kiseragi catches the Lord with a spinning heel kick as they get to their feet and then bulldogs him over to the other side of the ring. The side of the ring near the entryway erupts in flames as they land.

Vinegar: And I think that's given the Dragon an idea. He takes a step back as Donovan gets back up..

Jay: YAAAAARIIIII KIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!

Vinegar: That propulsion side kick finds its mark, and knocks the Lord of Pain through the ropes.

Lieberjosch: But the Lord has the good fortune to get stuck on the bottom rope! And the heat of the coals wakes him up in time to tighten his grip.

Vinegar: But Kiseragi is on him, pushing him down closer and closer to the flames! They each have one hand on the bottom rope and one hand on each others' throats. Hastings is slipping out of the ring!

Jay: Black man walking!

Vinegar: Owen Peterson is coming down the ramp, and what does he have...oh for crying out loud.

Jay: Is that a fire extinguisher?

Lieberjosch: Genius! I told you that the Lord always has a backup plan!

Vinegar: Peterson is spraying the coals directly underneath Hastings' head, temporarily alleviating the great heat, but it's going to fire again so it's only going to buy him a few seconds of relief. Alex lets him go and they each struggle to get to their feet on their respective sides of the apron.

Lieberjosch: Both men are exhausted, between the normal expenditure of wrestling such a high-impact match you add the great amounts of blood loss and the overbearing heat.

Vinegar: Owen Peterson just felt the heat himself, the extinguisher proves to be useless at staving off the relighting of those coals. Alex connects with a punch to the jaw, Hastings is flailing to keep his balance as the flames begin to shoot again. Peterson throws away the extinguisher and grabs the wooden slats that were removed at the beginning of the match!

Lieberjosch: Brilliant! He tosses them back down onto the coals so that Hastings will have a safe landing.

Vinegar: Except that The Dragon reaches out, grabs Hastings under the arm, and hip tosses back over the ropes...and over the other ropes! A diagonal hip toss over the corner! HASTINGS LANDS IN THE COALS!

Lieberjosch: Get him out of there! Hey, someone go get him out of there, he's burning!

Vinegar: Hastings is struggling to get back to the apron, on the upside those cuts on his back and chest are being cauterized.

Lieberjosch: Now is not the time for jokes, a man is burning alive!

Jay: Another black man!

Vinegar: Chris Peterson is running down to the ring now, and he has one of those ceremonial baskets! He bounds across the slats and slides into the ring. Alex catches sight of him.

Jay: NINJA MATRIX!

Vinegar: Peterson tries to cold cock Alex with that basket but Alex ducks underneath it, and is ready for his former student when he turns around.

Jay: YAAAARIIII KIIIIIIIIIICK 2! Electric boogaloo.

Vinegar: The kick connects, Peterson goes flying backwards and the basket is airborne, showering the ring with shards of glass! Kiseragi picks Peterson off the ground and runs him back over towards the ramp. The Black Knight gets tossed onto the coals!

Lieberjosch: Hastings has managed to get himself back into the ring and has patted himself out.

Vinegar: Here comes Kiseragi again, leaping up for a rana.

Lieberjosch: Scouted! Hastings catches him and tosses him into the turnbuckle! No wasted time, Donovan puts the dazed Dragon up onto his shoulders.

Vinegar: Oh no. No, don't do this Donnie. Don't do this!

Lieberjosch: INEVITABILITY ONTO THE GLASS! Hastings is calling out that it's over.

Vinegar: He picks Alex off the mat, the Dragon looks more like a porcupine with all those shards sticking out of his back. Dammit, he's going for it again!

Lieberjosch: INEVITABILITY ONTO THE GLASS! AGAIN! SUCK IT JAY!

Vinegar: Hastings falls to his knees, and looks at his longtime foe laying helpless in the pile of glass. After all these years, all the wars they have waged, ultimate victory is within his grasp.

Jay: No more Dragon?

Lieberjosch: No more Dragon.

Vinegar: Hastings crawling across the shards, he has nothing left, he just needs to make it to Kiseragi.

Lieberjosch: Go man go!

Vinegar: He collapses on top of Alex!

1!












2!













3------------NO!


Vinegar: Right at three, Alex rolls a shoulder up!

Lieberjosch: FUCK THIS WORLD!

Vinegar: Neither man is even able to move, they just lie there. Sam Green would normally start a ten count, but there must be a winner in this contest.

Lieberjosch: Hastings rolled over to his front.

Jay: Dragon trying to sit up.

Lieberjosch: Hastings on all fours.

Jay: Dragon...still trying to sit up.

Lieberjosch: Hastings pushed up onto his knees.

Jay: Dragon still.....trying....to sit up.

Lieberjosch: Hastings is up to his feet!

Jay: Dragon is.....still laying on the mat.

Lieberjosch: The Lord of Pain gingerly walks back over, all he has to do is pick up Alex one more and deliver the final blow.

Jay: NNNNNNNIIIIIIINNNJAAAAAA KIIIIIP UP!

Vinegar: Hastings is shocked! The crowd is shocked! Hans is shocked!

Lieberjosch:....

Vinegar: Alex's arm is hanging by a thread. He is currently blind in one eye. He has more glass in his body than he does platelets. But he is not going to go down without a fight. He strikes one final karate pose and tells Hastings to bring it.

Lieberjosch: ….....

Vinegar: Hastings lurches forward, Kiseragi easily dodges him and kicks him square in the gut. The crowd is erupting, they can feel it...Alex can feel it. Jay?

Jay: Ahem....... DDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNN TTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: It connnects! Lord Hastings is driven down into the glass! Alex rolls him over! Cover!

1!












2!













3!!!!!!!

DING DING!

Dennis: Here is your winner, and still the owner of the Dragon's Cave Gym....AAAALEEEEEEEX KIIIIIISERAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Vinegar: An emotional battle, a seesaw battle, an ultimate battle. Neither of these men will be the same again after tonight, and not just the physical scars. The fires die down. Alex pulls Hastings off of the mat and rolls him out to Owen Peterson, a small sign of respect in a feud that seemed totally devoid of it.

Jay: Before I forget....suck it, Hans.

Vinegar: And still to come, who will leave here tonight with the world title: Gabrielle Montgomery, or the monstrous Tyvola? Your Horizons main event is coming up....next!

Kiseragi - 6
Hastings - 5

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Vinegar: What a night we've had so far, I think it's fair to say we won't forget tonight in a hurry, it's had everything. Phrixus Deimos and Alan Fernandez, the legendary freak Show Central are no more.

Covert Jay: Moss Edwards was actually Prince Squidward all along!

Lieberjosch: JK makes a stunning recovery from a coma which would have caused many of his limbs to freeze up, yet he made a heroic return tonight.

Vinegar: Marek Daisuke won G$10,000,000 putting himself directly into the mix coming into the new year...

Covert Jay: Gabby got one over on Travis Pierce and the HRD

Vinegar And Tyvola became the first person to successfully defend The World Heavyweight Title on this special night and he's about try and defend it for the second time any moment now.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for tonight's MAIN EVENT!

'What You Want'

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship, making her way to the ring, from New Zealand, the Challenger....GGGGGAAABBBRRRRIIIIEEELLLLEEEE MMMMOOONNNTTTGGGOOOMMEEERRRYYY!!!

Vinegar: I can't think of a more deserving person to be in the Main Event of Horizons than Gabrielle, after the humiliation she suffered at the hands of the Human Resource Department it feels fitting that it is she, not Ryder, Pierce or Somers that is walking out for the final match of 2011.

Lieberjosch: You're forgetting the point that if it wasn't for the HRD Gabby would not be in this position. Say what you like about Robert Ooley, but he delivers on his promises, he said he'd ensure gabby would be taken seriously and become a viable World Heavyweight Title contender if she joined the HRD, and that's just what has happened. He never stipulated exactly how he was going to progress her this way, and I think he'd end this rant with, Suckers.

Vinegar: That's called a Liebertwist I think, anyway this match is stacked high with emotions, Gabrielle and Tyvola were like our own, excuse my language, fucked up Romeo and Juliet, it seems that fate intended them to finally face each other, one on one, here at the biggest night of them all.

Lieberjosch: Look, is there really much point in this happening, I think the whole relationship was based on the fact that Tyvola was the dominant partner, is that really going to change tonight?

Vinegar: Have you already forgotten Tyvola has been involved in a gruelling match with jet Somers, whilst gabby was able to come out of her 'rubber' match with no negative effects? She is basically healthy.

Lieberjosch: Healthy is a push until we've done a blood test, but I will concede in terms of activity tonight she holds an advantage, but is it enough to outweigh Tyvola's natural advantages. If Jet Somers couldn't keep him down, I don't see how Gabby even stands a chance against tyvola at 50%.

'Come Together'

Dennis: And her opponent, he is the UGWC World Heavyweight Champion....TTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYVVVVVVOOOOOLLLLLAAAAAA!!!

Vinegar: Tyvola now emerges from the back, dragging the World Title along behind him he looks dishevelled, and more so than usual. Bruising is starting to emerge across his torso after his brutal match with the Living Weapon earlier this evening, this is exactly what I was referring to when I suggested Gabrielle had the advantage in this match.

Lieberjosch: And it proves my point entirely, look at him, he's a monster, he probably sacrificed a few goats, drank the blood of a virgin and ate the heart of a unicorn in between matches and reinvigorated himself, he's not exactly struggling to the ring is he.

Vinegar: This is true, but just look at Gabrielle, I don't think we've seen her as focused as this, she knows that she has a chance to become UGWC's First Ever Female World Heavyweight Champion, it's almost destiny that she claims that bit of history, and Horizons is all about seizing your destiny.

Lieberjosch: And I have to concede she probably leaned a few tricks in the bedroom...or the dumpster...on his weaker points that she could take advantage of with her womanly wiles.

Vinegar: I'm sure she's aware of that, but at the same time she would want to win this without having to use her relationship with her opponent.

Lieberjosch: Well then she's a fool, in circumstances like this you take what ever advantages the scenario present you with.

Vinegar: I'm sure they're both serious about this, they've both made there way to the ring with as little glitz and glamour as possible. They know this isn't about having your photograph taken, it's about becoming The World Heavyweight Champion...

Covert Jay: I'm not sure Tyvola even knows what a photograph is.

Vinegar: Both are now in the ring, and Glenn Burke looks across at Claude DeRhombus and our second UGWC World Heavyweight Title Match is about to get under way.

DING!

Covert Jay: You know how you said they were both focused on the match?

Vinegar: Yes

Covert Jay: I think you may have misread Tyvola's intent. His eyes are fixed on Gabby's chest...

Vinegar: And he reaches out for them, and Gabby immediately smacks him with and upper cut and shakes her head...

Lieberjosch: Unfortunately for Gab's, and lets be honest she should have known better, such behaviour is considered to be foreplay in the house of GabVola, and Tyvola's nostril's flare, his eyes widen and he grabs Gabby by the hair and forces her roughly to the ground. He slams her head against the canvas with one hand, repeatedly, whilst trying to tear off her top with the other.

Vinegar: Gabby however moves her hand down Tyvola's chest....and stickers her finger in his bellybutton?

Covert Jay: And he goes batshit crazy, even by his standards...

Vinegar: Tyvola rolls off Gabrielle, and starts freaking out on the cnavas, clutching his right hand over his midsection to deter any further attacks.

Lieberjosch: My god, he does have a weakness. Although I'm not sure how it can be exploited in a wrestling ring, it would be hard to lock in a submission hold in that area...

Vinegar: I think it has succeeded in making Tyvola angry, and very aware that Gabby is not intending to have kinky grape hug in front of a worldwide audience live across the internet. If thats what she had wanted she could have just bought a webcam and earned a hell of a lot more than this place can offer.

Lieberjosch: Gabby satisfied now that Tyvola has the message and as he climbs to his feet she delivers a knee to the temple that Jet Somers struck with his boot earlier this evening.

Covert Jay: iIm not sure where the sense is in repeatedly hitting an already mentally unstable individual in the temple? I mean I can see the point with the utterly delusional, say for instance Bret hart, but surely it's a big risk when faced with someone like Tyvola.

Vinegar: That's a fair theory, but this time Gabby seems to have used the right tactic as Tyvola fell back to the floor allowing her to perform a cartwheel legdrop that causes her fans to erupt into excited whoops and cheers.

Lieberjosch: But as she gets to her feet Tyvola reaches out and grabs Gabby by the ankle, and then with great strength, takes her from her feet and swings her into the corner, her head slamming into the bottom turnbuckle as she lands on the canvas...

Vinegar: Tyvola keeping hold of that ankle as he stands up, he then grabs the other, and yanks them apart, before falling forwards and driving his skull into her Lady Garden.

Covert Jay: That looked personal...

Vinegar: I don't think this match was ever going to go any other way.

Lieberjosch: Ty now drags gabby up, and then places both hands under her arms, lifts her high in the air...and then drops her onto his knee, slamming her down ensuring her legs spread and his knee makes contact with that most sensitive piece of female reproductive equipment.

Covert Jay: You know, there are probably some sick, non-ninjarific individuals getting off on this.

Lieberjosch: Ty drags gabby up again, forces her back into the corner, wraps her arms around the top ropse, and then hooks her legs behind the bottom ones, spreading her legs apart...he takes a couple of steps back...

Covert Jay: C@*T PUNT!

Vinegar: The Yawning Hippo has taken one hell of a beating tonight.

Covert Jay: hopefully DJS will remain in his coma for a little longer because that's gonna need some rest and recuperation that's for sure.

Lieberjosch: And that's what happens if you attempt to invade the belly button of the mentally unstable.

Vinegar: Tyvola unhooks Gabby and grabs her by the hair again and drags her into the middle of the ring, but Gabby fights back and raises her long right leg directly into ty's face, slamming into his nose and causing it to explode in a fog of red.

Lieberjosch: Tyvola lets go of Gabby's hair momentarily, but apart from that is unfazed by the pain...

Vinegar: But it gives gabby the only opening she needs and she swiftly leaps onto his shoulders...HURICANRANA

Covert JAY: HOLDS THE LEGS FOR THE PIN!













1....













2...










Lieberjosch: NO! Gabby rolls off as Tyvola breaks the pin.

Covert Jay: Did he just bite her Wizards Sleeve?

Vinegar: I think he did, though I'm not sure Burke noticed...Gabby is certainly clutching at her sensitive parts right now.

Covert Jay: One minute you refer to it as her Yawning Hippo, then her 'sensitive parts', make your mind up. You're either a perv or repressed, you cannot be both in this line of work.

Vinegar: Tyvola gets back to his feet, shaking his had and neck, both of which have taken a hell of a beating, and he staggers over to Gabby who is still on her knee's...but as he does she spins round...

Covert Jay: Two can play at that game...

Vinegar: And she sends her fist directly upwards with a force that most likely retracted Tyvola's testicles back inside of him...as her doubles over with shock and pain...she leaps to her feet...runs the ropes...

Covert Jay: RAPTURE

Vinegar: Tyvola's head once again goes slamming into the canvas...Gabby climbs to the top rope....

Covert Jay: MOONSAULT!

Lieberjosch: Tyvola gets his legs up! Gabby bounces off them and clutches at her abdomen, it's very possible Tyvola's work tonight has ensured gabby can never bear children. But that's a risk every competitor takes when they step into the ring.

Covert Jay: Apart from the men.

Lieberjosch: Especially the men, have you seen the regular nature of low blows in this business?

Covert Jay: I'm pretty sure no man can bear children.

Lieberjosch: You know what I meant, and regardless Tyvola is getting to his feet, and I think he's about to end this one as he drags Gabby up by the hair, and then slaps her repeatedly in the face, veins popping out on the sides of his head as he screams intelligibly at her, before scooping her up above his head in a Gorilla Press, he heaves her up and down a few times before dumping her behind him...

Vinegar: But Gabby turns as he drops her, and executes a simply sublime falling neckbreaker, taking the unsuspecting Tyvola down to the canvas. She struggles to her feet, and is clearly having trouble even walking following Tyvola's attacks on her modesty...

Lieberjosch: But The Bearded Bastard is getting to his feet too, and he is looking increasingly displeased with every passing moment.

Vinegar: Gabby has made it clear that she is not here for Tyvola's pleasure, and she reinforces this point with a Springboard Dropkick to the face of the rising Champion, that sends him down once more. Gabby feeling she is beginning to take control of the match slams her heel down into Tyvola's forehead, before dragging him up to his feet and then hits a Step Up Enziguri, which plants him right back down on the floor.

Lieberjosch: It's very possible The Hardcore Hobo has suffered a concussion tonight, and given he wouldn't know what that was, I dread to think what might be going on in his head right now.

Vinegar: If his survival instincts are still working, he'll be trying to figure out a way to stop an unrelenting Gabrielle who is intent on taking advantage of Ty's weakened state. She's taken a moment to regain composure and then grabs Ty by the hair and drags him upwards...

Lieberjosch: But Tyvola shoves her backwards...AND THEN TURNS HER INSIDE OUT WITH A CLOTHESLINE FROM ALL SEVEN LEVELS OF HELL!

Vinegar: And now he drags her up...and hoists her onto his shoulders...

Lieberjosch: sugaM!

















1...




























2....





















Vinegar: How does she do it, Travis Roberts couldn't keep her down during the deathmatch in Japan, no-one could outlast her at Battleground...and now even Tyvola can't put her down here at Horizons!

Lieberjosch: I'll give her this she is the toughest, most resilient woman I have ever seen in this industry...

Vinegar: This has nothing to with gender, she is competing here at Horizons because she is one of the toughest and most resilient wrestlers period.

Covert Jay: Tyvola looks like he's running out of steam, he's slumped to the side of Gabby's body, both these competitors are running on fumes.

Lieberjosch: But both of them trying to get to their feet. And Tyvola get's their first, and he grabs Gabby and goes to whip her the short distance to the corner...

Vinegar: But she reverses, she pulls Ty's head in, hooks her leg....


Covert Jay: DOUBLE D DDT!

Lieberjosch: NO! With another show of strength Tyvola brakes the hold...and reverses it into an ELEVATED SPINEBUSTER!

Covert Jay: THEY'RE TOO CLOSE TO THE CORNER!

Vinegar: GABBY'S HEAD HIT'S EVERY TURNBUCKLE WITH FORCE AS TYVOLE DRIVES HER TO THE GROUND!!!!










1.....

























2...
























3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, and STILL UGWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...TTTTYYYYYYYVVVVVVOOOOOOOLLLLAAAA!!!

Vinegar: He's done it, he's defended The UGWC World Heavyweight Championship twice in one night. He may not be to everyone's taste, you may not ever let your nearest and dearest go to a meet and greet session with him, he may well end up as America's Most Wanted Man by the end of the year, but you cannot take this achievement away from him. Tyvola has dominated UGWC this year, 2011 will be remembered as the Year of the Hobo.

Lieberjosch: like many before her Gabby lies on the floor defeated at the hands of the most intimidating and dominant World Champion I have ever laid eyes on, I said this individual was money when I first laid eyes on him, and how he has proved me to be the genius we all know I am.

Vinegar: Neither Gabrielle nor Jet Somers were able to stop Tyvola becoming the first person to not only defend The World heavyweight Championshipo at horizons, but he's done it twice. But both is challengers pushed him to the very edge, He has only managed to get onto both knee's and receive his title after his most challenging night in UGWC. 2011 has been his year, what will 2012 brin? Until then, goodbye!


Tyvola - 5
Somers - 4
Gabby - 2

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Credits

Opening
T-Rob

Friggin' Awesome Vids
Rudo

Events Occuring Earlier
Ichy

Tyvola vs Somers
T-Rob

Gabby vs Pierce
Hastings

Chaos Championship
Ichy & Bonnie the GF

$10 Million Match
A-Kis

Cooperative Championship
JK

Cross-Hemisphere Championship Hell in a Cell
Hastings
(Zeke did his entrance, Rudo on the reveal)

JK's Return
JK

Dragon's Cave
Rudo

Main Event
T-Rob

Edits
Hastings

[Moss Works Jericho's Schedule]

Man....what a show.