Post by Lord Hastings on Jul 25, 2009 22:38:04 GMT -5
Donovan is sitting at the desk in the hotel room. Calypso paces behind him.
Calypso: How could you do it? How could you lose to Severino? How? I told you this was an important match, didn't I? I wanted you to beat him so I could stick it in that wench's face, and now look at us.
Hastings: Listen, it's-
Calpyso: It's what? Is it Owen Peterson's fault?
Hastings: Now that you mention it...
Calypso throws her hands in the air.
Calypso: Enough already. How long are we going to have to live with this spectre hanging over us?
Hastings: For as long as the ratings for our segments stay up, I would imagine.
Calypso: Why don't you just challenge him to a match and get it over with.
Hastings: Don't be silly.
Donovan scratches his chin.
Hastings: Unless...
He leaps to his feet.
Hastings: I should challenge him to a match.
Calypso stares at him, and shakes her head.
Hastings: Yes! A match at Horizons. Peterson and I will settle this blood feud once and for all. But not just any match. No. This is far too personal. This man has been a thorn in my side for months now, and there is only one way to settle this.
He turns to face her, and dramatically waves his arm in the air, like it's on fire or something.
Hastings: A Peterson REALLY Sucks Match!
She blinks twice.
Calypso: Bloody brilliant.
Hastings: I'll have to go speak with Declan about this immediately.
Calypso: Word on the street is Boss Penguin sent him into hiding.
Donovan walks over to the window and leans out it for a moment.
Hastings: Is that what is says down there?
Calypso: It's a-
Hastings: Nevermind that, I know where he is!
Calypso: You do?
Hastings: Of course! He's right here!
Donovan walks over to a door.
Calypso: That's the closet.
Hastings: HUTTAH!
Donovan whips open the door, revealing DECLAN PRESCOTT FTW #*($#^&%#!!!!!!!!!!!!
Donovan and Calypso stare at him for a moment.
Calypso: Why do you have a cardboard cutout of Declan Prescott in the closet?
Hastings: My friend, and partner with whom I am co-Tag Team Champion of the Universe (apologies to Blessed Immortality, also a damned good team), I shall vanquish my foe at Horizons, I challenge Owen Peterson to a Peterson REALLY Sucks Match!
Prescott Cardboard Cutout: ...
Calypso: Excuse me while I go outside and look for your marbles.
The cutout falls out of the closet, revealing a totally hot bod in a bikini, great boobs and the like. Several moments pass in silence, as neither moves.
Calypso: You taped Declan's face to the body of a woman in a bikini.
Hastings: It's all they had.
Calypso pulls the face off and tosses it aside. Beat of silence.
Calypso: You taped Declan's face to Cara's body. I can't even begin to list the things wrong with that.
Hastings: Well, she has nice boobs.
Calypso stares at him.
Hastings: The only other one they had was Gabrielle.
Calypso: Thank the lord for small favors.
Hastings: You're welcome.
Calypso grabs her coat and walks towards the door.
Calypso: (mumbles) The bar is probably still open...
She leaves. Donovan walks to the desk and opens the drawer, pulling out a roll of duct tape. He stands the cutout back up and picks up the Declan face.
Hastings: If you can't duct it, fuck it.
Fade out...
Calypso: How could you do it? How could you lose to Severino? How? I told you this was an important match, didn't I? I wanted you to beat him so I could stick it in that wench's face, and now look at us.
Hastings: Listen, it's-
Calpyso: It's what? Is it Owen Peterson's fault?
Hastings: Now that you mention it...
Calypso throws her hands in the air.
Calypso: Enough already. How long are we going to have to live with this spectre hanging over us?
Hastings: For as long as the ratings for our segments stay up, I would imagine.
Calypso: Why don't you just challenge him to a match and get it over with.
Hastings: Don't be silly.
Donovan scratches his chin.
Hastings: Unless...
He leaps to his feet.
Hastings: I should challenge him to a match.
Calypso stares at him, and shakes her head.
Hastings: Yes! A match at Horizons. Peterson and I will settle this blood feud once and for all. But not just any match. No. This is far too personal. This man has been a thorn in my side for months now, and there is only one way to settle this.
He turns to face her, and dramatically waves his arm in the air, like it's on fire or something.
Hastings: A Peterson REALLY Sucks Match!
She blinks twice.
Calypso: Bloody brilliant.
Hastings: I'll have to go speak with Declan about this immediately.
Calypso: Word on the street is Boss Penguin sent him into hiding.
Donovan walks over to the window and leans out it for a moment.
Hastings: Is that what is says down there?
Calypso: It's a-
Hastings: Nevermind that, I know where he is!
Calypso: You do?
Hastings: Of course! He's right here!
Donovan walks over to a door.
Calypso: That's the closet.
Hastings: HUTTAH!
Donovan whips open the door, revealing DECLAN PRESCOTT FTW #*($#^&%#!!!!!!!!!!!!
Donovan and Calypso stare at him for a moment.
Calypso: Why do you have a cardboard cutout of Declan Prescott in the closet?
Hastings: My friend, and partner with whom I am co-Tag Team Champion of the Universe (apologies to Blessed Immortality, also a damned good team), I shall vanquish my foe at Horizons, I challenge Owen Peterson to a Peterson REALLY Sucks Match!
Prescott Cardboard Cutout: ...
Calypso: Excuse me while I go outside and look for your marbles.
The cutout falls out of the closet, revealing a totally hot bod in a bikini, great boobs and the like. Several moments pass in silence, as neither moves.
Calypso: You taped Declan's face to the body of a woman in a bikini.
Hastings: It's all they had.
Calypso pulls the face off and tosses it aside. Beat of silence.
Calypso: You taped Declan's face to Cara's body. I can't even begin to list the things wrong with that.
Hastings: Well, she has nice boobs.
Calypso stares at him.
Hastings: The only other one they had was Gabrielle.
Calypso: Thank the lord for small favors.
Hastings: You're welcome.
Calypso grabs her coat and walks towards the door.
Calypso: (mumbles) The bar is probably still open...
She leaves. Donovan walks to the desk and opens the drawer, pulling out a roll of duct tape. He stands the cutout back up and picks up the Declan face.
Hastings: If you can't duct it, fuck it.
Fade out...
