Post by Declan Prescott on Jul 28, 2009 1:24:34 GMT -5
Her thick, soft, silky blonde hair was blowing in the cool breeze that surrounded them. Smiling broadly with her cute, pink lips, her eyes beaming with excitement and the bright midday sun illuminating her delicate, milky skin, it was obvious.
She was happy.
“Come on, D. We have to get going.”
Declan: Huhn? Where we going?
She giggled at the question.
“You’re so silly, D! Don’t you remember? We have to attack.”
Declan: The hell are you talking about? Attack who?
“He wouldn’t be happy to hear you speaking like that, D. Don’t tell me you’ve given up the cause already?”
Declan: What? Of course not. Just… urgh… remind me what the cause is again.
“You know perfectly well, D. Stop being silly!”
Declan: I’m not being silly. I just need a quick refresher course…
“Then you’ll just have to die. Just like all the rest.”
The sound of a gunshot rings out and Declan springs awake.
NG: Damn, boy! The fuck were you mumbling about in yo sleep?!
Declan can’t muster a response, as he’s too distracted by the manatee carcass lying on top of him, staring him right in the face.
Manatee Carcass: Damn niglet, you been sleeping for ages. I was nearly gonna sell you for weed money.
Declan: Urgh…
Declan grabs the beast’s mouth and pries it open. Staring at him from inside the corpse is the face of Andy Savana.
Andy: Yeah man, I found the best hiding spot! There’s room for three in here, if you want.
Declan: Three?
Andy: Yeah. Beauty is in here, too… somewhere. Not quite sure what happened to her.
Some muffled yelling comes from the manatee’s lower area.
Declan: …
Andy: …
Declan: …
Andy: …
Declan: MAKE ROOM!
Declan begins scrambling to get inside the manatee, before another gunshot rings out.
NG: Damn kids! Dey makin’ a move!
Andy and Declan rush to the window (no sign of Beauty emerging from the beast) and both gasp in horror.
Declan: There they are. More of them! What are we gonna do?!
Andy: I’M FREAKING OUT, MAN! I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!
Down below, some removalists can be seen loading furniture off a truck, as an Asian family exits their car nearby.
NG: Dat Landlord is bad ass! He pulling no punches! No holds barred! Shit off da hook!
Andy: So what do we do, Nigga General?!
NG: I’ll show ya what we do!
Ted comes out of the kitchen, playing some generic military music on a drum. NG approaches the living room table, where Nigga Monopoly is sitting. Several niglet tokens are laid across the board. Nigga General grabs his stick and begins moving the niglets around the board.
NG: See kids, we here. Dey here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and a couple more here. Oh and here, here, here and here. As ya can see, we be outnumbered against dose guys!
NG now removes his hat and pulls the pointer stick up to his mouth, revealing it to be a two meter long bong. He breathes in heavily, before placing his hat back on and bulging at the eyes once more.
NG: Now where was da Nigga General at?! Oh yeah, time to take da fight to da enemy!
Declan: But we’re scared, Nigga General!
NG: Den yo playin’ right inta der hands! Dem bitches want yo ass to be afraid! But da Nigga General ain’t gonna allow dat! Nigga General says dat we gotta stand up fo ourselves! TO NOT BACK DOWN! TO NEVER GIVE UP! TO KEEP ON FIGHTING, NO MATTER DA COST! COZ DAT’S WHAT HEROES DO! NOW ARE YOU NIGLETS WID DA NIGGA GENERAL?!?!?!
Andy and Declan: RARGH!!!!!!!!![/b][/I]
The trio charge full speed toward the apartment front door and go crashing through it. Right in front of them is an Asian man.
Man: Woah, that was quite a collision. Are you guys okay?
NG: BE BRAVE IN DA FACE OF EVIL, MEN!
The trio turn to their right and see an Asian family heading their way.
Mother: How are you four doing, today?
Declan: They’re coming out of the God damn walls, man!
NG: Be strong, son. Be strong!
They turn to their left. A white dude is walking toward them and they sigh with relief… UNTIL THEY SEE HIS ASIAN DAUGHTER WITH HIM!
Andy: THEY’RE CONVERTING PEOPLE, MAN!
NG: DON’T WORRY, BOYS! DA NIGGA GENERAL WILL CAP YO ASS BEFORE HE LETS YOU TURN INTA ONE A DOSE THINGS!
NG turns to face Andy and Declan, but they are gone. And the Asians are closing in on the General, from all directions. He decides he has no choice. Removing a grenade from his coat, he pulls the pin.
NG: I’M TAKING Y’ALL WID ME YA HEAR?!?!?!
Well, all sides, except the apartment door that he just destroyed.
NG: Oh yeah…
He drops the grenade and goes sprinting back into the apartment. It blows up, leaving a bunch of singed and terrified neighbours.
NG: Can’t believe dose boys left me in da middle of da battlefield like dat!
Ted: I can’t believe you can’t believe that.
NG: Where’d dose bitches go, anyway?!
Manatee Carcass: Definitely not in the manatee carcass, that’s for sure.
Manatee Carcass: It’s a walrus, bitch!
Manatee Carcass: I’ll show you a walrus!
Manatee Carcass: How?! Gonna give me a pic of YO MOMMA?!?!
NG: SHUT IT DA BOTH OF YA! We got a real problem…
Andy and Declan crawl out of the beast and stare at the door way, both gasping in terror.
Andy: The grenade blew up the door!
Declan: That means… that… that…
NG: Yeah, boy. Now dere’s absolutely nuddin’ between us and dem…
Sometime later…
Paul: Look, just explain it to me one more time. Then I'll get it, I promise.
JK: We’re giving a bottle of rum to Andy and Declan. Show ’em that there shouldn’t be any hard feelings, even though we’re opponents this week. You get it, mate?
Jasmine: Are you usually this nice to your opponents? Some might get angry if we are acting OOC.
JK: Nah, the rum is laced with laxative. Haha!
The trio laugh, as they head up the stairs.
Paul: Is that a burnt cut out of us?
JK and Jasmine continue heading up the stairs, assuring Paul that he is just seeing things. They soon arrive at their intended floor.
NG: IT’S WAR, BITCHES!!!
Nigga General is beating an old Asian man with a giant bong, Andy and Declan are rolling a manatee carcass down the hallway, towards some small Asian children. The Landlord is too distracted by Beauty to stop the mayhem. Ted is sitting at a table naked, eating cereal.
Midday Oil: O.O!
Jasmine: So… urgh… wanna go somewhere else?
JK: Anywhere else.
Not much time later…
Boss P: SO NIGGAREENA?! IT ALL DONE?!
Bianca: He willingly entered a tag team with Andy Savana. How much lower could he possibly sink, even if he was actively trying?
Boss P: YEAH, DAT’S A GOOD POINT! BUT WHAT DA FUCK IS UP WID DIS NIGGA GENERAL SHIAT?!
Bianca: Total copyright infringement, sir. I find it disgusting.
Boss P: NOW YA TALKING, BIG TITS! WE GOTTA TAKE CARE O DAT FOOL!
Bianca: Indeed, sir.
Bianca makes her away across the room, opens the door and exits. She finds herself in the middle of the Tag Champ/Asian battlefield. In fact, she exited from the apartment right next to Declan’s and Andy’s!
Declan: I’VE GOT YOU NOW, BIANCA!!!
Bianca: Wha?! How’d you find ou –
Declan goes diving into Bianca, sending her crashing to the floor and narrowly avoiding Nigga General, who has randomly thrown himself across the hallway.
Declan: Don’t worry, babe. I’ll take care of you!
Bianca: Declan, that’s… so sweet…
Declan: Yeah! With me looking out for you, you’ll be invincible!
48 seconds later…
Andy and Declan are watching the paramedics load Bianca into the ambulance.
Declan: Guess I was wrong. I feel terrible, Andy. Now Beauty is gonna have to put out even more.
Andy: Dude, I doubt she will even notice. Look at this, though. I think those non-Asian kids left this bottle of rum behind. Wanna share it, then throw the bottle at old people?
Declan: I guess. Still feel a little empty, though. I mean, who’s gonna replace Bianca in our gang?
Warren: JUMP AROUND!
She was happy.
“Come on, D. We have to get going.”
Declan: Huhn? Where we going?
She giggled at the question.
“You’re so silly, D! Don’t you remember? We have to attack.”
Declan: The hell are you talking about? Attack who?
“He wouldn’t be happy to hear you speaking like that, D. Don’t tell me you’ve given up the cause already?”
Declan: What? Of course not. Just… urgh… remind me what the cause is again.
“You know perfectly well, D. Stop being silly!”
Declan: I’m not being silly. I just need a quick refresher course…
“Then you’ll just have to die. Just like all the rest.”
The sound of a gunshot rings out and Declan springs awake.
NG: Damn, boy! The fuck were you mumbling about in yo sleep?!
Declan can’t muster a response, as he’s too distracted by the manatee carcass lying on top of him, staring him right in the face.
Manatee Carcass: Damn niglet, you been sleeping for ages. I was nearly gonna sell you for weed money.
Declan: Urgh…
Declan grabs the beast’s mouth and pries it open. Staring at him from inside the corpse is the face of Andy Savana.
Andy: Yeah man, I found the best hiding spot! There’s room for three in here, if you want.
Declan: Three?
Andy: Yeah. Beauty is in here, too… somewhere. Not quite sure what happened to her.
Some muffled yelling comes from the manatee’s lower area.
Declan: …
Andy: …
Declan: …
Andy: …
Declan: MAKE ROOM!
Declan begins scrambling to get inside the manatee, before another gunshot rings out.
NG: Damn kids! Dey makin’ a move!
Andy and Declan rush to the window (no sign of Beauty emerging from the beast) and both gasp in horror.
Declan: There they are. More of them! What are we gonna do?!
Andy: I’M FREAKING OUT, MAN! I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!
Down below, some removalists can be seen loading furniture off a truck, as an Asian family exits their car nearby.
NG: Dat Landlord is bad ass! He pulling no punches! No holds barred! Shit off da hook!
Andy: So what do we do, Nigga General?!
NG: I’ll show ya what we do!
Ted comes out of the kitchen, playing some generic military music on a drum. NG approaches the living room table, where Nigga Monopoly is sitting. Several niglet tokens are laid across the board. Nigga General grabs his stick and begins moving the niglets around the board.
NG: See kids, we here. Dey here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and a couple more here. Oh and here, here, here and here. As ya can see, we be outnumbered against dose guys!
NG now removes his hat and pulls the pointer stick up to his mouth, revealing it to be a two meter long bong. He breathes in heavily, before placing his hat back on and bulging at the eyes once more.
NG: Now where was da Nigga General at?! Oh yeah, time to take da fight to da enemy!
Declan: But we’re scared, Nigga General!
NG: Den yo playin’ right inta der hands! Dem bitches want yo ass to be afraid! But da Nigga General ain’t gonna allow dat! Nigga General says dat we gotta stand up fo ourselves! TO NOT BACK DOWN! TO NEVER GIVE UP! TO KEEP ON FIGHTING, NO MATTER DA COST! COZ DAT’S WHAT HEROES DO! NOW ARE YOU NIGLETS WID DA NIGGA GENERAL?!?!?!
Andy and Declan: RARGH!!!!!!!!![/b][/I]
The trio charge full speed toward the apartment front door and go crashing through it. Right in front of them is an Asian man.
Man: Woah, that was quite a collision. Are you guys okay?
NG: BE BRAVE IN DA FACE OF EVIL, MEN!
The trio turn to their right and see an Asian family heading their way.
Mother: How are you four doing, today?
Declan: They’re coming out of the God damn walls, man!
NG: Be strong, son. Be strong!
They turn to their left. A white dude is walking toward them and they sigh with relief… UNTIL THEY SEE HIS ASIAN DAUGHTER WITH HIM!
Andy: THEY’RE CONVERTING PEOPLE, MAN!
NG: DON’T WORRY, BOYS! DA NIGGA GENERAL WILL CAP YO ASS BEFORE HE LETS YOU TURN INTA ONE A DOSE THINGS!
NG turns to face Andy and Declan, but they are gone. And the Asians are closing in on the General, from all directions. He decides he has no choice. Removing a grenade from his coat, he pulls the pin.
NG: I’M TAKING Y’ALL WID ME YA HEAR?!?!?!
Well, all sides, except the apartment door that he just destroyed.
NG: Oh yeah…
He drops the grenade and goes sprinting back into the apartment. It blows up, leaving a bunch of singed and terrified neighbours.
NG: Can’t believe dose boys left me in da middle of da battlefield like dat!
Ted: I can’t believe you can’t believe that.
NG: Where’d dose bitches go, anyway?!
Manatee Carcass: Definitely not in the manatee carcass, that’s for sure.
Manatee Carcass: It’s a walrus, bitch!
Manatee Carcass: I’ll show you a walrus!
Manatee Carcass: How?! Gonna give me a pic of YO MOMMA?!?!
NG: SHUT IT DA BOTH OF YA! We got a real problem…
Andy and Declan crawl out of the beast and stare at the door way, both gasping in terror.
Andy: The grenade blew up the door!
Declan: That means… that… that…
NG: Yeah, boy. Now dere’s absolutely nuddin’ between us and dem…
Sometime later…
Paul: Look, just explain it to me one more time. Then I'll get it, I promise.
JK: We’re giving a bottle of rum to Andy and Declan. Show ’em that there shouldn’t be any hard feelings, even though we’re opponents this week. You get it, mate?
Jasmine: Are you usually this nice to your opponents? Some might get angry if we are acting OOC.
JK: Nah, the rum is laced with laxative. Haha!
The trio laugh, as they head up the stairs.
Paul: Is that a burnt cut out of us?
JK and Jasmine continue heading up the stairs, assuring Paul that he is just seeing things. They soon arrive at their intended floor.
NG: IT’S WAR, BITCHES!!!
Nigga General is beating an old Asian man with a giant bong, Andy and Declan are rolling a manatee carcass down the hallway, towards some small Asian children. The Landlord is too distracted by Beauty to stop the mayhem. Ted is sitting at a table naked, eating cereal.
Midday Oil: O.O!
Jasmine: So… urgh… wanna go somewhere else?
JK: Anywhere else.
Not much time later…
Boss P: SO NIGGAREENA?! IT ALL DONE?!
Bianca: He willingly entered a tag team with Andy Savana. How much lower could he possibly sink, even if he was actively trying?
Boss P: YEAH, DAT’S A GOOD POINT! BUT WHAT DA FUCK IS UP WID DIS NIGGA GENERAL SHIAT?!
Bianca: Total copyright infringement, sir. I find it disgusting.
Boss P: NOW YA TALKING, BIG TITS! WE GOTTA TAKE CARE O DAT FOOL!
Bianca: Indeed, sir.
Bianca makes her away across the room, opens the door and exits. She finds herself in the middle of the Tag Champ/Asian battlefield. In fact, she exited from the apartment right next to Declan’s and Andy’s!
Declan: I’VE GOT YOU NOW, BIANCA!!!
Bianca: Wha?! How’d you find ou –
Declan goes diving into Bianca, sending her crashing to the floor and narrowly avoiding Nigga General, who has randomly thrown himself across the hallway.
Declan: Don’t worry, babe. I’ll take care of you!
Bianca: Declan, that’s… so sweet…
Declan: Yeah! With me looking out for you, you’ll be invincible!
48 seconds later…
Andy and Declan are watching the paramedics load Bianca into the ambulance.
Declan: Guess I was wrong. I feel terrible, Andy. Now Beauty is gonna have to put out even more.
Andy: Dude, I doubt she will even notice. Look at this, though. I think those non-Asian kids left this bottle of rum behind. Wanna share it, then throw the bottle at old people?
Declan: I guess. Still feel a little empty, though. I mean, who’s gonna replace Bianca in our gang?
Warren: JUMP AROUND!
