Post by brandonbrown on Aug 5, 2009 23:51:56 GMT -5
(This week’s scene starts at the Brown house. Brandon is sitting on the couch but it looks like he is having a bad day. I wonder what his problem could be. Luckily, Banky enters the scene to ask him.)
Banky: Brandon, can we get rid of the narrator? He annoys me.
(Fuck you, Banky. I’m doing my job.)
Brandon: The narrator gets to keep his job. He’s not harming anyone and he doesn’t ask for too much pay.
Banky: Where is he? In fact, who is he?
Brandon: No idea. Some guy asked me one day for a job so I told him he could narrate my show. As for where he is, I think he’s in the garage. I’m not sure though. Do we have a garage? For the sake of this promo, let’s say we have one. Now let’s get on topic, you are supposed to ask me why I’m so bummed out.
Banky: Right. Why are you so bummed out?
Brandon: It’s what that Dirge guy said on Sentinel. He said our show resembles a 50s TV show. That really hurt my feelings. He also said our comedy was bad. I think he actually meant your comedy but nobody cares about you.
Banky: I’m not trying to be funny though. I don’t even want to be on your stupid TV show.
Brandon: You are on my TV show though and you are going to like it. That’s what I pay you for.
Banky: I don’t get paid.
Brandon: You get to live in this house. That’s how you get paid. In fact, you owe me rent.
Banky: I’m not going to give you any rent.
(Brandon pulls out a knife and tackles Banky to the ground.)
Brandon: Give me my rent, bitch.
Banky: Okay.
(Banky gives Brandon some money and Brandon backs off.)
Brandon: That’ll teach you a lesson. Back to Dirge, our show is much better than 50s TV. We have color. Poor color, but it’s color. Now the camera angles aren’t very good because all we have is one cameraman but he does his job well. Plus the show is really only available on Youtube and most of the time our voices are out of sync but we are on there. The show isn’t that bad.
Banky: I can’t believe you just threatened me with a knife.
Brandon: You’re still on that. I found it hysterical myself.
Banky: Yeah, how do you like it?
(Banky, having grabbed the knife out of Brandon’s pocket, lunges at Brandon. Brandon quickly grabs Banky’s arm and locks him in the crippler crossface.)
Brandon: Give up. I’m 4 real.
Banky: I give up.
(Brandon releases the hold and helps Banky to his feet.)
Brandon: Boy, that was a sick joke. Can we cut that from airing?
(Yes.)
Brandon: Alright, we have more news to address this week. The biggest match in the history of GIW is going to take place on a lowly Sentinel broadcast. I mean this match should be main eventing Horizons but it’s going to be on free TV instead. I’m talking about Brandon Brown vs. Andy Savana. Two of the longest tenured athletes in GIW doing battle one on one for the very first time. Do you know how epic this is?
Banky: I guess it’s kind of epic.
Brandon: This is the biggest match in history. It’s not kind of epic. It’s the most epic thing you will ever see. This match will melt brains by its sheer awesomeness.
Banky: What is so great about you guys?
Brandon: I’m a former 2 time Global Heavyweight Champion way back before it was Unified. I’m one half of the current GIW Tag Team Champions. Andy Savana main evented the very first Horizons. He is one half of the tag team known as The GIW Tag Team Champions. This match is huge. The two biggest faces of the company going head to head for the first time. I’m fucking excited. This is the biggest match since Brandon Brown vs. Declan Prescott III at Horizons. We all know that was the real main event of the night.
Banky: What about all the big matches lately? Boolz and Travis Roberts. We got Roberts vs. Moss Edwards at the next pay per view.
Brandon: Yawn. Nobody comes to the show to watch those losers. I’m the money maker. They got GIW kicked out of America due to the suckiness of the show. That never happened when I was around.
Banky: That’s not the actual story.
Brandon: The fans come to see me even if they ride in rainbow colored short buses. I’m the main attraction of this show. Just looking at the ratings for when I was champ, they were through the roof. This Travis Roberts period of boredom has dropped viewership 127.63%. He’s just lucky that I haven’t decided to take my title back from him yet. I could any time I want.
Banky: Then why haven’t you?
Brandon: I’m busy with these tag belts right now. Plus you have to win that Battlegrounds match to get a shot at the big title. I’ve been in that match. It sucks. It fucking hurt like hell. I never want to do that match again.
Banky: Speaking of Battlegrounds, have you seen the preliminary card?
Brandon: Yes, I did. I saw probably the biggest tag team match in GIW ever on there. It’s The GIW Tag Team Champions vs. “The GIW Tag Team Champions”. It’s going to be huge. The story writes itself but I won’t get into detail at this moment.
Banky: I can’t wait.
Brandon: Brandon Brown vs. Andy Savana, damn I can’t wait until I get to wrestle him. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this excited to wrestle. It’s a shame it’s only on Sentinel. It’s not even the main event. We’re the big draw but not the main event. What’s up with that? Is that penguin still booking these shows?
Banky: Don’t you think the Unified Global Champion should be main event always unless there is a big match like Battlegrounds?
Brandon: Hello. Brandon Brown vs. Andy Savana is a big match. There won’t be a person sitting down when we wrestle. The fans will stand and applause the greatest match in GIW history. Well, it will probably be about the 3rd or 4th greatest but it will be pretty damn good.
Banky: Are you done?
Brandon: Yeah, I think we can call the show quits this week. I’m going to go watch Street Fighter: The Movie to practice my acting a little bit.
Banky: Alright. Wait, that movie is terrible. How is that going to help your acting?
Brandon: It’s going to help me with not acting like Jean Claude Van Damme. All I have to do is watch his crappy monologue about not going home and I should be good.
Banky: Good luck with that.
Brandon: End the scene for us, narrator.
(Scene ends. Show is over.)
Banky: Brandon, can we get rid of the narrator? He annoys me.
(Fuck you, Banky. I’m doing my job.)
Brandon: The narrator gets to keep his job. He’s not harming anyone and he doesn’t ask for too much pay.
Banky: Where is he? In fact, who is he?
Brandon: No idea. Some guy asked me one day for a job so I told him he could narrate my show. As for where he is, I think he’s in the garage. I’m not sure though. Do we have a garage? For the sake of this promo, let’s say we have one. Now let’s get on topic, you are supposed to ask me why I’m so bummed out.
Banky: Right. Why are you so bummed out?
Brandon: It’s what that Dirge guy said on Sentinel. He said our show resembles a 50s TV show. That really hurt my feelings. He also said our comedy was bad. I think he actually meant your comedy but nobody cares about you.
Banky: I’m not trying to be funny though. I don’t even want to be on your stupid TV show.
Brandon: You are on my TV show though and you are going to like it. That’s what I pay you for.
Banky: I don’t get paid.
Brandon: You get to live in this house. That’s how you get paid. In fact, you owe me rent.
Banky: I’m not going to give you any rent.
(Brandon pulls out a knife and tackles Banky to the ground.)
Brandon: Give me my rent, bitch.
Banky: Okay.
(Banky gives Brandon some money and Brandon backs off.)
Brandon: That’ll teach you a lesson. Back to Dirge, our show is much better than 50s TV. We have color. Poor color, but it’s color. Now the camera angles aren’t very good because all we have is one cameraman but he does his job well. Plus the show is really only available on Youtube and most of the time our voices are out of sync but we are on there. The show isn’t that bad.
Banky: I can’t believe you just threatened me with a knife.
Brandon: You’re still on that. I found it hysterical myself.
Banky: Yeah, how do you like it?
(Banky, having grabbed the knife out of Brandon’s pocket, lunges at Brandon. Brandon quickly grabs Banky’s arm and locks him in the crippler crossface.)
Brandon: Give up. I’m 4 real.
Banky: I give up.
(Brandon releases the hold and helps Banky to his feet.)
Brandon: Boy, that was a sick joke. Can we cut that from airing?
(Yes.)
Brandon: Alright, we have more news to address this week. The biggest match in the history of GIW is going to take place on a lowly Sentinel broadcast. I mean this match should be main eventing Horizons but it’s going to be on free TV instead. I’m talking about Brandon Brown vs. Andy Savana. Two of the longest tenured athletes in GIW doing battle one on one for the very first time. Do you know how epic this is?
Banky: I guess it’s kind of epic.
Brandon: This is the biggest match in history. It’s not kind of epic. It’s the most epic thing you will ever see. This match will melt brains by its sheer awesomeness.
Banky: What is so great about you guys?
Brandon: I’m a former 2 time Global Heavyweight Champion way back before it was Unified. I’m one half of the current GIW Tag Team Champions. Andy Savana main evented the very first Horizons. He is one half of the tag team known as The GIW Tag Team Champions. This match is huge. The two biggest faces of the company going head to head for the first time. I’m fucking excited. This is the biggest match since Brandon Brown vs. Declan Prescott III at Horizons. We all know that was the real main event of the night.
Banky: What about all the big matches lately? Boolz and Travis Roberts. We got Roberts vs. Moss Edwards at the next pay per view.
Brandon: Yawn. Nobody comes to the show to watch those losers. I’m the money maker. They got GIW kicked out of America due to the suckiness of the show. That never happened when I was around.
Banky: That’s not the actual story.
Brandon: The fans come to see me even if they ride in rainbow colored short buses. I’m the main attraction of this show. Just looking at the ratings for when I was champ, they were through the roof. This Travis Roberts period of boredom has dropped viewership 127.63%. He’s just lucky that I haven’t decided to take my title back from him yet. I could any time I want.
Banky: Then why haven’t you?
Brandon: I’m busy with these tag belts right now. Plus you have to win that Battlegrounds match to get a shot at the big title. I’ve been in that match. It sucks. It fucking hurt like hell. I never want to do that match again.
Banky: Speaking of Battlegrounds, have you seen the preliminary card?
Brandon: Yes, I did. I saw probably the biggest tag team match in GIW ever on there. It’s The GIW Tag Team Champions vs. “The GIW Tag Team Champions”. It’s going to be huge. The story writes itself but I won’t get into detail at this moment.
Banky: I can’t wait.
Brandon: Brandon Brown vs. Andy Savana, damn I can’t wait until I get to wrestle him. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this excited to wrestle. It’s a shame it’s only on Sentinel. It’s not even the main event. We’re the big draw but not the main event. What’s up with that? Is that penguin still booking these shows?
Banky: Don’t you think the Unified Global Champion should be main event always unless there is a big match like Battlegrounds?
Brandon: Hello. Brandon Brown vs. Andy Savana is a big match. There won’t be a person sitting down when we wrestle. The fans will stand and applause the greatest match in GIW history. Well, it will probably be about the 3rd or 4th greatest but it will be pretty damn good.
Banky: Are you done?
Brandon: Yeah, I think we can call the show quits this week. I’m going to go watch Street Fighter: The Movie to practice my acting a little bit.
Banky: Alright. Wait, that movie is terrible. How is that going to help your acting?
Brandon: It’s going to help me with not acting like Jean Claude Van Damme. All I have to do is watch his crappy monologue about not going home and I should be good.
Banky: Good luck with that.
Brandon: End the scene for us, narrator.
(Scene ends. Show is over.)
