Post by Montana on Aug 7, 2009 18:21:34 GMT -5
(When the scene opens up we can see Robert lying a sleep on the floor, next to him is a half empty bottle of vodka, suddenly the same woman we saw last time and begins to smack Robert in the head in order to wake him up.)
“Robert wake up now! I’m not playing wake up!”
“Leave me alone Jane me and miss vodka are trying to sleep here.”
“Okay but if you don’t wake up your not going to be happy.”
(Jane walks into the kitchen and fills a cup with hot water.)
“Happy what are you talking about I’m happy?”
(Jane spills the water on Robert and throws the cup at him too Robert immediately gets up but slips and lands on his face.)
“What the fuck did you do that for? Do you need some attention? Damn why do I always have to pick the hostile women can I once have a chick who doesn’t try and kill me or my friends? I didn’t take you home last time and I’m not taking you home now so find a ride take a cab I will even give you money for a cab just leave me the fuck alone.”
“Fuck you asshole I’m going home.”
(Jane walks out the door and slams it shut. Robert sits down on the couch and turns on the television suddenly the ghost of Bernie Mac appears and begins to speak.)
“Muthafucka you got a hard head all those times I broke that vodka bottle across yo head you neva had to get stitches and you didn’t learn ma lesson boy what the fuck is wrong with ya?”
“Well Bernie nothings wrong with me I just like drinking its in my nature and I also like fighting and strangling people.”
“You dumb son of a bitch how come your not drunk? when your not drunk your not stupid and that means that you cant piss me of enough to break that vodka bottle over your head.”
“What! That was you? I thought Michael Capelli was the one who did that.”
“No Mr. Capperoni did that I only did that to you one time.”
“His names Capelli old man not pepperoni.”
(The Ghost of Bernie Mac picks up the bottle of vodka and smashes Robert in the head.”)
“Didn’t I tell you to respect yo elders.”
(The Ghost of Bernie Mac opens the sliding door and jumps off of the deck.)
“That stupid fucking ghost why does he keep fucking with me?”
(Robert pulls out his cell phone and begins to dial a number.)
“Hey Anthony I feel like shooting some pool do you want to come?…….....bye i will see you there.”
(Robert hangs up the phone and as soon as he does this the scene changes to him and Anthony in a pool hall playing a game of pool and having a conversation.)
“So how have you been bro everything okay?”
“Well yeah its all okay I have this psychotic chick to deal to with and it is not helping me at all.”
(Anthony sets up the balls.)
“Another one damn you have to chill those chicks are going to drive your ass crazy.”
(Robert goes over to the rack where the pool sticks are held and grabs three sticks before deciding which one he wants, after he grabs the pool stick he goes over to the chalk and rubs it on his hands, now that he is done with that he goes over to the pool table aims and shoots, breaks but doesn’t make anything in.)
“They already did, I’ve been talking to ghost Is that not enough to get me committed. This crazy bitch threw a cup full of hot water at me just so she can call me an asshole.”
(Anthony steps up to the pool table aims and shoots, he hit’s the solid red ball into the left corner pocket. The waitress comes over carrying a bucket of beer and ice she puts it on the table and walks away.)
“Wait, who sent this?”
“Its from the lady over there.”
“What the hell, is that bitch stalking me?”
“Who?”
“Its Veronica she sent over this beer.”
(Anthony aims and shoots the blue ball at the right corner and misses.)
“Yeah that’s kind of weird. Anyways I heard about your match dude you suck.”
“Hey you cant blame me because Mr. Pepperoni decided to forget how too fight.”
“Pepperoni? oh you mean Cappeli, so your fighting Chassie Fear what do you think about that?”
“Well what am I supposed to think, The only thing I can think is that now I have another hostile woman in my life to deal with.”
“Well look on the Brightside at least your getting paid to fight her.”
(Robert grabs a beer and begins to drink it Veronica comes over and begins to speak.)
“Hey Robert how have you been? I’ve been watching you since you left your apartment how did you get that bruise on your forehead?”
(Veronica grabs Roberts forehead but Robert moves her hand away.)
“Robert why did you push my hand away?”
“So I see your stalking people now.”
“Robert what are you talking about its just a simple coincidence.”
“Veronica you have some problems and I think you should see a doctor.”
(The ghost of Bernie Mac appears grabs a beer and stairs at Veronica.)
“Robert how come you neva told me you had such a beautiful girl.”
“What the hell is going on Robert?”
“Is this some sort of joke
“Boy don’t disrespect yo elders I am not a joke I am a ghost and you better respect that or ill break this bottle across yo face muthafuka.”
“Robert I’m leaving I tried to give you a chance to have me back but I think you rather hang out with your boyfriend.”
(Robert says this in a sarcastic voice.)
“Oh no please don’t leave me I need you.”
“Hey Robert maybe we should leave all these people are looking at us funny I think it might be the fact that we are talking to a ghost, a very annoying one might I add.”
“Boy I’m not gonna tell you this again if you don’t respect me I’m gonna fuck you up and I aint joking muthafuka."
“Mr. Ghost shut up for a minute I’m trying to talk here.”
(Bernie goes over to Anthony and stairs at him for a while.)
“Robert lets get the hell out of here lets just go to a real bar.”
(Bernie breaks the bottle on Anthony’s head followed by an uppercut and two kicks to the stomach.)
“What the fuck did I tell you boy I told you to respect me boy I told you.”
“Damn it Bernie why did you do that? Now I have to carry him to the car.”
“I told him not to disrespect me I told him he should have listened muthafuka.”
(The scene fades to black but quickly returns we are now back in Roberts apartment Robert sits on the couch and Anthony is on the floor. Anthony begins to stand up but loses balance and falls back down.)
“Robert I could use some help here.”
“Shut up moron I have some thinking to do?"
“What are you thinking about?”
“Were moving to Chicago, Illinois.”
“We, what do you mean we?”
“Okay don’t come I just didn’t want you to feel left out.”
“Why do you want to move there? You can move anywhere and that’s were you choose.”
“Three reasons first to get away from Veronica, second that’s where Jane is originally from, third I like the cold weather.”
“So this is Jane’s idea?”
“No! This is my idea actually we had an argument yesterday I haven’t talked to her yet in fact I’m going to call her right now.”
(Robert reaches into his pocket and pulls out is phone as soon as he begins to dial we hear loud knocks on the door.)
“Shit who could that be.”
(Robert puts away the phone and walks over to the door and opens revealing Veronica wearing a wedding dress and holding a bouquet of flowers.)
“What the fuck! Veronica how are you doing today.”
“Robert will you marry me.”
“Anthony can you give us some privacy?”
(Anthony goes into the bedroom and closes the door.)
“There is definitely something wrong with you, I wont marry you I’m already in a serious relation ship with another girl.”
“Oh you mean Jane well I took care of her I don’t think she will be coming around here anymore.”
“Veronica what did you do too her?”
(Veronica reaches into her purse and pulls out a digital camera she turns it on and hands it too Robert.)
“With the help of a friend I managed to mess her up pretty good mentally and physically.”
“She has nothing to do with me and you, you sick bitch she didn’t deserve that.”
“Well she should have not messed with you.”
(Robert throws the camera at her and closes the door.)
“What happened”
“That sick bitch she hurt Jane she left her with black eyes and a bloody nose. Do you see what that fuck I’m saying that bitch is sick. And on top of that her dad is some fucking psycho war veteran who collects guns.”
“Oh yeah and I’m the devil, fuck them I’m not leaving this city just because some crazy bitch is trying to kill my brother.”
“I’m not leaving because of that either.”
“Why are you leaving than Robert because you like the cold weather, that is bullshit."
“Just forget I ever mentioned anything about moving.”
(Suddenly we can hear someone knocking again Robert walks into the kitchen reaches into a cabinet and pulls out his gun.)
“Anthony could you open the door.”
“Fuck that I’m not getting shot.”
“Just do it.”
(Anthony opens the door and Jane is standing there with no bruises, she is in perfect shape.)
“What the hell Robert I thought you said something about black eyes.”
“Jane come in, where have you been? Are you okay?”
“Yes I’m okay, are you okay? Why are you acting like that?”
“I’m okay what are you talking about why should I be acting in any certain way what are you talking about?”
“Calm down.”
“Jane, Anthony I think I might be seeing things you know like schizophrenia.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well in the past few weeks I have been having some conversations with Bernie Mac, and did I ever tell you about the girlfriend I had before you.”
“Yeah you did, Veronica right.”
“Well she might not be real, you might not be real either, I might not be real this could be a dream, this could all be fake.”
“Whoa, dude don’t insult my existence.”
“This is real Robert its not fake maybe you should sleep.”
“Don’t make suggestions I don’t like that everybody shut up your not real nobody’s real I’m not real your not real he’s not real nobody’s real!!!!”
(Anthony smacks Robert in the back of the head with a pan knocking him out.)
“Maybe that will fix him.”
“Ouch that had to have hurt, you’re his brother why would you do that.”
“He’s annoying, he said I wasn’t real, I think he deserved it he would always annoy me when we were kids I just wasn’t able to do that.”
“Do you think that he was right about that girl not being real or is he just paranoid.”
“Well I don’t know, but he was talking about moving to Chicago there is a reason why, he just doesn’t want to tell me, he has been acting very suspicious then he started talking to himself I just went into the room I didn’t want to hear it he was doing this last night too when were playing pool he started talking about Bernie Mac and respecting your elders it was weird.”
“I wouldn’t mind moving to Chicago. Well what are we going to do with him?”
“He is not dead but your right lets put him on the couch.”
(Anthony grabs Robert by the legs and Jane grabs him by his arms they put him on the couch. Anthony stares into Jane’s eyes and grabs her hand.)
“Anthony what are you doing?"
“Come on baby the day I saw you I couldn’t stop thinking about how happy we would be together.”
“Really okay.”
"Really."
"NO!."
(Jane punches Anthony in the face, you can see the fear in her eyes punching a man who is six foot three and your only five seven you have to be afraid of the consequences, the fact that she is woman and he is a man makes the odds of her winning very low because most of the time the man has the advantage over the woman. Unless your Michael Cappeli.)
“Please don’t hit me I’m sorry.”
“I’m not going to hit you, I’m sorry I got a little out of hand you’re my brothers future wife and I shouldn’t have ever said that please forgive me.”
(The scene fades to black and the last thing we can see is Bernie Mac slapping both Anthony and Jane.)
“Bitches I am real, muthafuka’s”
“Robert wake up now! I’m not playing wake up!”
“Leave me alone Jane me and miss vodka are trying to sleep here.”
“Okay but if you don’t wake up your not going to be happy.”
(Jane walks into the kitchen and fills a cup with hot water.)
“Happy what are you talking about I’m happy?”
(Jane spills the water on Robert and throws the cup at him too Robert immediately gets up but slips and lands on his face.)
“What the fuck did you do that for? Do you need some attention? Damn why do I always have to pick the hostile women can I once have a chick who doesn’t try and kill me or my friends? I didn’t take you home last time and I’m not taking you home now so find a ride take a cab I will even give you money for a cab just leave me the fuck alone.”
“Fuck you asshole I’m going home.”
(Jane walks out the door and slams it shut. Robert sits down on the couch and turns on the television suddenly the ghost of Bernie Mac appears and begins to speak.)
“Muthafucka you got a hard head all those times I broke that vodka bottle across yo head you neva had to get stitches and you didn’t learn ma lesson boy what the fuck is wrong with ya?”
“Well Bernie nothings wrong with me I just like drinking its in my nature and I also like fighting and strangling people.”
“You dumb son of a bitch how come your not drunk? when your not drunk your not stupid and that means that you cant piss me of enough to break that vodka bottle over your head.”
“What! That was you? I thought Michael Capelli was the one who did that.”
“No Mr. Capperoni did that I only did that to you one time.”
“His names Capelli old man not pepperoni.”
(The Ghost of Bernie Mac picks up the bottle of vodka and smashes Robert in the head.”)
“Didn’t I tell you to respect yo elders.”
(The Ghost of Bernie Mac opens the sliding door and jumps off of the deck.)
“That stupid fucking ghost why does he keep fucking with me?”
(Robert pulls out his cell phone and begins to dial a number.)
“Hey Anthony I feel like shooting some pool do you want to come?…….....bye i will see you there.”
(Robert hangs up the phone and as soon as he does this the scene changes to him and Anthony in a pool hall playing a game of pool and having a conversation.)
“So how have you been bro everything okay?”
“Well yeah its all okay I have this psychotic chick to deal to with and it is not helping me at all.”
(Anthony sets up the balls.)
“Another one damn you have to chill those chicks are going to drive your ass crazy.”
(Robert goes over to the rack where the pool sticks are held and grabs three sticks before deciding which one he wants, after he grabs the pool stick he goes over to the chalk and rubs it on his hands, now that he is done with that he goes over to the pool table aims and shoots, breaks but doesn’t make anything in.)
“They already did, I’ve been talking to ghost Is that not enough to get me committed. This crazy bitch threw a cup full of hot water at me just so she can call me an asshole.”
(Anthony steps up to the pool table aims and shoots, he hit’s the solid red ball into the left corner pocket. The waitress comes over carrying a bucket of beer and ice she puts it on the table and walks away.)
“Wait, who sent this?”
“Its from the lady over there.”
“What the hell, is that bitch stalking me?”
“Who?”
“Its Veronica she sent over this beer.”
(Anthony aims and shoots the blue ball at the right corner and misses.)
“Yeah that’s kind of weird. Anyways I heard about your match dude you suck.”
“Hey you cant blame me because Mr. Pepperoni decided to forget how too fight.”
“Pepperoni? oh you mean Cappeli, so your fighting Chassie Fear what do you think about that?”
“Well what am I supposed to think, The only thing I can think is that now I have another hostile woman in my life to deal with.”
“Well look on the Brightside at least your getting paid to fight her.”
(Robert grabs a beer and begins to drink it Veronica comes over and begins to speak.)
“Hey Robert how have you been? I’ve been watching you since you left your apartment how did you get that bruise on your forehead?”
(Veronica grabs Roberts forehead but Robert moves her hand away.)
“Robert why did you push my hand away?”
“So I see your stalking people now.”
“Robert what are you talking about its just a simple coincidence.”
“Veronica you have some problems and I think you should see a doctor.”
(The ghost of Bernie Mac appears grabs a beer and stairs at Veronica.)
“Robert how come you neva told me you had such a beautiful girl.”
“What the hell is going on Robert?”
“Is this some sort of joke
“Boy don’t disrespect yo elders I am not a joke I am a ghost and you better respect that or ill break this bottle across yo face muthafuka.”
“Robert I’m leaving I tried to give you a chance to have me back but I think you rather hang out with your boyfriend.”
(Robert says this in a sarcastic voice.)
“Oh no please don’t leave me I need you.”
“Hey Robert maybe we should leave all these people are looking at us funny I think it might be the fact that we are talking to a ghost, a very annoying one might I add.”
“Boy I’m not gonna tell you this again if you don’t respect me I’m gonna fuck you up and I aint joking muthafuka."
“Mr. Ghost shut up for a minute I’m trying to talk here.”
(Bernie goes over to Anthony and stairs at him for a while.)
“Robert lets get the hell out of here lets just go to a real bar.”
(Bernie breaks the bottle on Anthony’s head followed by an uppercut and two kicks to the stomach.)
“What the fuck did I tell you boy I told you to respect me boy I told you.”
“Damn it Bernie why did you do that? Now I have to carry him to the car.”
“I told him not to disrespect me I told him he should have listened muthafuka.”
(The scene fades to black but quickly returns we are now back in Roberts apartment Robert sits on the couch and Anthony is on the floor. Anthony begins to stand up but loses balance and falls back down.)
“Robert I could use some help here.”
“Shut up moron I have some thinking to do?"
“What are you thinking about?”
“Were moving to Chicago, Illinois.”
“We, what do you mean we?”
“Okay don’t come I just didn’t want you to feel left out.”
“Why do you want to move there? You can move anywhere and that’s were you choose.”
“Three reasons first to get away from Veronica, second that’s where Jane is originally from, third I like the cold weather.”
“So this is Jane’s idea?”
“No! This is my idea actually we had an argument yesterday I haven’t talked to her yet in fact I’m going to call her right now.”
(Robert reaches into his pocket and pulls out is phone as soon as he begins to dial we hear loud knocks on the door.)
“Shit who could that be.”
(Robert puts away the phone and walks over to the door and opens revealing Veronica wearing a wedding dress and holding a bouquet of flowers.)
“What the fuck! Veronica how are you doing today.”
“Robert will you marry me.”
“Anthony can you give us some privacy?”
(Anthony goes into the bedroom and closes the door.)
“There is definitely something wrong with you, I wont marry you I’m already in a serious relation ship with another girl.”
“Oh you mean Jane well I took care of her I don’t think she will be coming around here anymore.”
“Veronica what did you do too her?”
(Veronica reaches into her purse and pulls out a digital camera she turns it on and hands it too Robert.)
“With the help of a friend I managed to mess her up pretty good mentally and physically.”
“She has nothing to do with me and you, you sick bitch she didn’t deserve that.”
“Well she should have not messed with you.”
(Robert throws the camera at her and closes the door.)
“What happened”
“That sick bitch she hurt Jane she left her with black eyes and a bloody nose. Do you see what that fuck I’m saying that bitch is sick. And on top of that her dad is some fucking psycho war veteran who collects guns.”
“Oh yeah and I’m the devil, fuck them I’m not leaving this city just because some crazy bitch is trying to kill my brother.”
“I’m not leaving because of that either.”
“Why are you leaving than Robert because you like the cold weather, that is bullshit."
“Just forget I ever mentioned anything about moving.”
(Suddenly we can hear someone knocking again Robert walks into the kitchen reaches into a cabinet and pulls out his gun.)
“Anthony could you open the door.”
“Fuck that I’m not getting shot.”
“Just do it.”
(Anthony opens the door and Jane is standing there with no bruises, she is in perfect shape.)
“What the hell Robert I thought you said something about black eyes.”
“Jane come in, where have you been? Are you okay?”
“Yes I’m okay, are you okay? Why are you acting like that?”
“I’m okay what are you talking about why should I be acting in any certain way what are you talking about?”
“Calm down.”
“Jane, Anthony I think I might be seeing things you know like schizophrenia.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well in the past few weeks I have been having some conversations with Bernie Mac, and did I ever tell you about the girlfriend I had before you.”
“Yeah you did, Veronica right.”
“Well she might not be real, you might not be real either, I might not be real this could be a dream, this could all be fake.”
“Whoa, dude don’t insult my existence.”
“This is real Robert its not fake maybe you should sleep.”
“Don’t make suggestions I don’t like that everybody shut up your not real nobody’s real I’m not real your not real he’s not real nobody’s real!!!!”
(Anthony smacks Robert in the back of the head with a pan knocking him out.)
“Maybe that will fix him.”
“Ouch that had to have hurt, you’re his brother why would you do that.”
“He’s annoying, he said I wasn’t real, I think he deserved it he would always annoy me when we were kids I just wasn’t able to do that.”
“Do you think that he was right about that girl not being real or is he just paranoid.”
“Well I don’t know, but he was talking about moving to Chicago there is a reason why, he just doesn’t want to tell me, he has been acting very suspicious then he started talking to himself I just went into the room I didn’t want to hear it he was doing this last night too when were playing pool he started talking about Bernie Mac and respecting your elders it was weird.”
“I wouldn’t mind moving to Chicago. Well what are we going to do with him?”
“He is not dead but your right lets put him on the couch.”
(Anthony grabs Robert by the legs and Jane grabs him by his arms they put him on the couch. Anthony stares into Jane’s eyes and grabs her hand.)
“Anthony what are you doing?"
“Come on baby the day I saw you I couldn’t stop thinking about how happy we would be together.”
“Really okay.”
"Really."
"NO!."
(Jane punches Anthony in the face, you can see the fear in her eyes punching a man who is six foot three and your only five seven you have to be afraid of the consequences, the fact that she is woman and he is a man makes the odds of her winning very low because most of the time the man has the advantage over the woman. Unless your Michael Cappeli.)
“Please don’t hit me I’m sorry.”
“I’m not going to hit you, I’m sorry I got a little out of hand you’re my brothers future wife and I shouldn’t have ever said that please forgive me.”
(The scene fades to black and the last thing we can see is Bernie Mac slapping both Anthony and Jane.)
“Bitches I am real, muthafuka’s”