Post by TheAUKid on Aug 13, 2009 16:13:47 GMT -5
Andy: Thanks for the show, Will.
Will: No, thank you, Andy; having you in my corner really helped.
Andy: Really?
Will: Yeah! I mean, you’re my number one fan and hearing you cheer my name gave me the kick I needed when my back was on the mat.
Andy: And you won! It was wicked cool. Too bad for JK, huh?
Will: Yeah, it’s too bad. Hang on, Champ.
(click)
Man: I’m from Virgin and I have a great offer for you. I will give you a FREE Virgin mobile if you sign up for a 12 month Virgin Mobile contract.
Will: No, I’m-
Man: Don’t answer yet, I’m not done. You will get free calls and texts on weekends and evenings on Virgin Mobile if you sign up now for your FREE Virgin Mobile phone on a 12 month contract.
Will: No, I do-
Man: Did I mention the free delivery? All you have to do i-
(click)
I’m back. JK’s a good kid, he’ll learn and he’ll bounce back. Anyway, I hope you’re okay, Champ. I bet you were tired after the show.
Andy: Kinda but I’m okay now. I’m glad you won, that’s all. I’m so pumped for Battleground; that’s gonna be the greatest match of all time! And you’re gonna win, right?
Will: I hope so but it’s going to be a tough one. You’re talking about six men and women trapped in a barbed wire cell, forced to fight until one person remains. This is a match that can make careers and end careers. If you win, that’s great but if you lose, then it’s all for nothing and all you’ll have to show for your effort is a bad back or a broken neck. I’m confident but I’m not underestimating anybody. We all want to win and we’re all capable of winning.
Andy: I believe in you.
Will: I believe in me too... but believing is one thing and doing is another. All I can do, is try...
Andy: Hey, I’ll be there, cheering you on again an-
Will: Sorry, Andy. I have a call coming through, I won’t be a moment.
(click)
Alice: Hi, Baby, are you nearly home?
Will: Yeah, I won’t be long. Are you okay, Angel?
Alice: I’m okay. I’m worried about that match you’ll be in but we’ll talk about that when you get home.
Will: Try not to worry, okay? And go to bed if you’re tired, you don’t have to wait up for me.
Alice: I want to wait up for you, Will; I want to welcome you home, in my own special way...
Will: Okay, don’t go to bed, I’m not going to argue! Hehe... is Hope okay?
Alice: Hope’s fine. She’s aslee- Hope, go to bed! She should be asleep but she heard me talking. She wants to say hello. Oh hang on, someone’s calling.
(click)
Ark: Howdy, Billy?
Alice: No, Ark, it’s Alice!
Ark: Oh, Alice! Alice my cherry blossom, how are you?
Alice: I’m good, Ark, how are you?
Ark: I’m mighty fine myself ‘cept for my back, that’s givin’ me hell. And my right leg’s a bit stiff. My neck’s rough n’ my left arm’s achin’ like a son of a-a-a... now I will never curse in front of a lady, Alice, that’s one thing I will never do n’ I won’t tolerate it from anybody else. Anyway, thank you for askin’, I couldn’t be better.
Alice: That’s good to hear. If you’re calling for Will, he’s on his way home right now.
Ark: He is? Okay, well I’ll find him. He can’t escape me!
Alice: I’ll tell him you called.
Ark: Yeah, tell him I called. I’m glad you’re good Alice n’ I hope your girl’s good too!
Alice: She’s a warrior like her dad, Ark.
Ark: Yeah? He should bring her down to the Academy one day n’ I’l-
Alice: Keep dreaming, Ark. You’ll have to get through me before you get my girl!
Ark: That sounds like a challenge and I accept! Anyway, you’re probably tired so I’ll go and you can go to bed. Give my love to Hope, she’s a good girl. Goodnight, Alice.
Alice: I will. Goodnight, Ark.
(click)
Andy: Kyle really enjoyed the show too. He’s quickly becoming a big William Everknight fan but he’ll never be number one.
Will: So maybe he’ll be number two?
Andy: Maybe, probably! He can’t wait ti-
Will: Damn, hold on, Champ – another call.
Andy: Ok-
(click)
Ark: Howdy, Kid! Your beautiful wife told me you’re on way home. I wanted to congratulate you on your big win.
Will: Yeah, thank you, Ark, I appreciate that. Now I need to get training for Battleground.
Ark: You know where to go, Kid. Ark’s Academy is always open, especially since your triumphant run in GIW began. I’ve been doing big business because of you. Everybody wants William Everknight’s trainer and everybody wants to train where Fighting Spirit trained.
Will: Oh yeah, I’ll drop in. Hang on, you spoke to Alice? I’ll be right back.
(click)
Alice: Will, where are you, Will? WILL? Willi-
Will: I’m here, sorry!
Alice: Where were you? It was Ark calling, for you. He-
Will: I know, I’m talking to him now. He called me after he called you.
Alice: Oh, he’s annoying! I told him I’d tell you he called.
Will: You know Ark. It’s Ark’s way or the highway. He wanted to congratulate me. Anyway, I better talk to him before he falls asleep.
Alice: Hurry back, Will, I want to hear your voice. I’m feeling you-know-what...
Will: I will be RIGHT back!
(click)
Will: Ark?
Woman: No, this is Virgin Mobile and I would like to make you an offer you simply can’t refuse.
Will: I already refused it, I’m sorry. I’m re-
Woman: Did you know you can get a free ringtone of your choice if you sign up for a 12 month contract before the end of the week? And if that’s not enough, I will offer you something we don’t normally offer people here at Virgin – free delivery!
Will: No, please... I really ne-
Woman: I can even do one bet-
(click)
Ark: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Will: Ark?
Ark: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Will: Ark, wake up!
Ark: Where am I? WHAT! I am awake, Buttercup.
Will: Buttercup?
Ark: Oh, Will. Oh, oh... God, I don’t know what happened. Where were we? What do you want?
Will: I don’t know, Ark, you called me.
Ark: I did? I don’t remember that. Hold on, Kid, I’ve got someone on the other line.
(click)
Ark: Howdy?
Man: Hi, I’m from Virgin Mobile an-
Ark: Fuck off.
(click)
Alice: I wish you were here already. Hope’s asleep, you know... We could get up to some real mischief.
Will: Ah... I wish I was there too, Angel. Oh, I really do. You’re making me crazy, right now.
Alice: I’m making you crazy? You’re making me *beep*.
Will: Oh wow, knowing that I’m making you *beep* is making me *beep* but Alice, I’m in a public place!
Alice: A public place? You’re a bad boy, William. Now you’re really making me *beep* and if I was there, I would make you *beep* even more than you are now!
Will: Oh *beep*, I wish I could *beep* you in the *beep*, then I’d *beep* all over your *beep*. God damn it. I’ll be right back, AGAIN!
(click)
Woman: I’m calling f-
Will: From Virgin? I don’t care! God damn, you people are annoying! Why can’t you leave me alone? I don’t want a God damn phone. Hell, what do you think I’m talking on now? Kindly F off, you old-
Woman: No, I’m calling for William Everknight. It’s Mrs. Levene from Global Impact Wrestling and you’ll do well to keep a civil tongue in my presence. Keep that disgraceful language to yourself in future. Now, explain yourself.
Will: Oh, Mrs. Levene! I’m sorry, I had no idea. I’ve been, I mean I’m, well it’s like-
Old Lady Levene: So this is William Everknight? Donovan warned me about you. I thought he was talking hogwash but he was clearly completely correct.
Will: What?
OLL: I’m calling to inform you of your match this week. I heard your interview with that lovely Moss Edwards on Sunday and after careful consideration I’ve decided to give you your second GIW.com defence. You’ll be defending against Robert Montana.
Will: Oh, thank you Old La- I mean, Mrs. Levene. I won’t disappoint you.
OLL: So long as you leave Glenn Burke in one piece, I don’t care what you do. Now, I have to inform Robert of his golden opportunity. I bid ye farewell!
(click)
Will: I’m back.
Alice: And I’m not you-know-what anymore. Sorry, Will, you’ll have to wait till you’re here and impress me all over again. Who was that, anyway? Ark again?
Will: Ark’s on hold. That was Old Lady Levene and I swore at her!
Alice: Will! Why would you do that?
Will: Uh... I didn’t mean to! Anyway, I’m facing Robert Montana on Sunday.
Alice: Who’s that?
Will: He’s new and he’s shown a lot of potential. Oh and I’m defending my GIW.com Championship but it’s cool, I’m not worried.
Alice: You never are.
Will: I don’t know. One of the ring crew said he heard Montana talking to himself and a cameraman said he saw Montana talking to a wall. I don’t know which is worse. Maybe I’ll knock some sense into him on Sunday.
Alice: He sounds crazy.
Will: Yeah, he’s probably crazy or maybe he’s an alcoholic or something, I don’t know. They’re all crazy in GIW. Travis Roberts talks in third person, Owen Peterson wears a replica title belt and don’t even get me started on Andy Savana and Declan Prescott, they make Stone Cold look straight edge.
Alice: Yawn... sorry, Baby, I’m getting tired. I think I should go. There’s a steak in the fridge if you’re hungry when you get back.
Will: Mmm... steak. Okay, Angel, goodnight. Mwah!
Alice: Goodnight, Will. I love you.
Will: I love you too.
(click)
Will: Ark?
Ark: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Will: Oh well, never mind. Goodnight, Ark.
(click)
Will: Andy, are you awake?
Andy: Yawn... barely. What happened?
Will: It’s a long story but I’ll give you a scoop, before any paper or any journalist. I’m defending my GIW.com Championship against Robert Montana on Sunday.
Andy: Really? Cool! He’ll be a piece of cake. Good luck anyway.
Will: Luck?
Andy: Oh yeah, you don’t need luck. Anyhow, I have a scoop of my own! I should be out of here by the end of the month! The Dr. said I’m nearly well enough to go home.
Will: That’s awesome, Andy! I’m so happy for you. Are you having a party?
Andy: Nah... I have to relax. The Dr. said I have to take it easy. I’m not completely recovered but I’m getting there.
Will: Good. You really are an inspiration, Champ. I’m proud of you. Anyway, you better get some sleep if that’s what the Dr. said, and I better get some sleep to or Robert Montana might actually have a chance.
Andy: Yeah, yawn, I am tired. G’night, Will.
Will: Goodnight, Andy. Oh, now what?
(click)
Man: Is this the sex line ‘cause I have a BIG problem and by BIG problem, I really mean I have a small problem. I can’t get an erection no matter what I do. I’ve tried watching porn, I’ve tried jerking off and I’ve tried experimenting if y’know what I mean. Why, even www.cam4.com didn’t work. My wife thinks I’m having an affair and I would if I could but I can’t even do that! I really am a hopeless romantic. Where am I going wrong? I mean, is it possible I’ve been having TOO much sex? Maybe it’s like a lithium-ion battery. I’ve completely drained it and now it’s broken. I don’t know!
Will: Wrong number.
(click)
Will: No, thank you, Andy; having you in my corner really helped.
Andy: Really?
Will: Yeah! I mean, you’re my number one fan and hearing you cheer my name gave me the kick I needed when my back was on the mat.
Andy: And you won! It was wicked cool. Too bad for JK, huh?
Will: Yeah, it’s too bad. Hang on, Champ.
(click)
Man: I’m from Virgin and I have a great offer for you. I will give you a FREE Virgin mobile if you sign up for a 12 month Virgin Mobile contract.
Will: No, I’m-
Man: Don’t answer yet, I’m not done. You will get free calls and texts on weekends and evenings on Virgin Mobile if you sign up now for your FREE Virgin Mobile phone on a 12 month contract.
Will: No, I do-
Man: Did I mention the free delivery? All you have to do i-
(click)
I’m back. JK’s a good kid, he’ll learn and he’ll bounce back. Anyway, I hope you’re okay, Champ. I bet you were tired after the show.
Andy: Kinda but I’m okay now. I’m glad you won, that’s all. I’m so pumped for Battleground; that’s gonna be the greatest match of all time! And you’re gonna win, right?
Will: I hope so but it’s going to be a tough one. You’re talking about six men and women trapped in a barbed wire cell, forced to fight until one person remains. This is a match that can make careers and end careers. If you win, that’s great but if you lose, then it’s all for nothing and all you’ll have to show for your effort is a bad back or a broken neck. I’m confident but I’m not underestimating anybody. We all want to win and we’re all capable of winning.
Andy: I believe in you.
Will: I believe in me too... but believing is one thing and doing is another. All I can do, is try...
Andy: Hey, I’ll be there, cheering you on again an-
Will: Sorry, Andy. I have a call coming through, I won’t be a moment.
(click)
Alice: Hi, Baby, are you nearly home?
Will: Yeah, I won’t be long. Are you okay, Angel?
Alice: I’m okay. I’m worried about that match you’ll be in but we’ll talk about that when you get home.
Will: Try not to worry, okay? And go to bed if you’re tired, you don’t have to wait up for me.
Alice: I want to wait up for you, Will; I want to welcome you home, in my own special way...
Will: Okay, don’t go to bed, I’m not going to argue! Hehe... is Hope okay?
Alice: Hope’s fine. She’s aslee- Hope, go to bed! She should be asleep but she heard me talking. She wants to say hello. Oh hang on, someone’s calling.
(click)
Ark: Howdy, Billy?
Alice: No, Ark, it’s Alice!
Ark: Oh, Alice! Alice my cherry blossom, how are you?
Alice: I’m good, Ark, how are you?
Ark: I’m mighty fine myself ‘cept for my back, that’s givin’ me hell. And my right leg’s a bit stiff. My neck’s rough n’ my left arm’s achin’ like a son of a-a-a... now I will never curse in front of a lady, Alice, that’s one thing I will never do n’ I won’t tolerate it from anybody else. Anyway, thank you for askin’, I couldn’t be better.
Alice: That’s good to hear. If you’re calling for Will, he’s on his way home right now.
Ark: He is? Okay, well I’ll find him. He can’t escape me!
Alice: I’ll tell him you called.
Ark: Yeah, tell him I called. I’m glad you’re good Alice n’ I hope your girl’s good too!
Alice: She’s a warrior like her dad, Ark.
Ark: Yeah? He should bring her down to the Academy one day n’ I’l-
Alice: Keep dreaming, Ark. You’ll have to get through me before you get my girl!
Ark: That sounds like a challenge and I accept! Anyway, you’re probably tired so I’ll go and you can go to bed. Give my love to Hope, she’s a good girl. Goodnight, Alice.
Alice: I will. Goodnight, Ark.
(click)
Andy: Kyle really enjoyed the show too. He’s quickly becoming a big William Everknight fan but he’ll never be number one.
Will: So maybe he’ll be number two?
Andy: Maybe, probably! He can’t wait ti-
Will: Damn, hold on, Champ – another call.
Andy: Ok-
(click)
Ark: Howdy, Kid! Your beautiful wife told me you’re on way home. I wanted to congratulate you on your big win.
Will: Yeah, thank you, Ark, I appreciate that. Now I need to get training for Battleground.
Ark: You know where to go, Kid. Ark’s Academy is always open, especially since your triumphant run in GIW began. I’ve been doing big business because of you. Everybody wants William Everknight’s trainer and everybody wants to train where Fighting Spirit trained.
Will: Oh yeah, I’ll drop in. Hang on, you spoke to Alice? I’ll be right back.
(click)
Alice: Will, where are you, Will? WILL? Willi-
Will: I’m here, sorry!
Alice: Where were you? It was Ark calling, for you. He-
Will: I know, I’m talking to him now. He called me after he called you.
Alice: Oh, he’s annoying! I told him I’d tell you he called.
Will: You know Ark. It’s Ark’s way or the highway. He wanted to congratulate me. Anyway, I better talk to him before he falls asleep.
Alice: Hurry back, Will, I want to hear your voice. I’m feeling you-know-what...
Will: I will be RIGHT back!
(click)
Will: Ark?
Woman: No, this is Virgin Mobile and I would like to make you an offer you simply can’t refuse.
Will: I already refused it, I’m sorry. I’m re-
Woman: Did you know you can get a free ringtone of your choice if you sign up for a 12 month contract before the end of the week? And if that’s not enough, I will offer you something we don’t normally offer people here at Virgin – free delivery!
Will: No, please... I really ne-
Woman: I can even do one bet-
(click)
Ark: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Will: Ark?
Ark: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Will: Ark, wake up!
Ark: Where am I? WHAT! I am awake, Buttercup.
Will: Buttercup?
Ark: Oh, Will. Oh, oh... God, I don’t know what happened. Where were we? What do you want?
Will: I don’t know, Ark, you called me.
Ark: I did? I don’t remember that. Hold on, Kid, I’ve got someone on the other line.
(click)
Ark: Howdy?
Man: Hi, I’m from Virgin Mobile an-
Ark: Fuck off.
(click)
Alice: I wish you were here already. Hope’s asleep, you know... We could get up to some real mischief.
Will: Ah... I wish I was there too, Angel. Oh, I really do. You’re making me crazy, right now.
Alice: I’m making you crazy? You’re making me *beep*.
Will: Oh wow, knowing that I’m making you *beep* is making me *beep* but Alice, I’m in a public place!
Alice: A public place? You’re a bad boy, William. Now you’re really making me *beep* and if I was there, I would make you *beep* even more than you are now!
Will: Oh *beep*, I wish I could *beep* you in the *beep*, then I’d *beep* all over your *beep*. God damn it. I’ll be right back, AGAIN!
(click)
Woman: I’m calling f-
Will: From Virgin? I don’t care! God damn, you people are annoying! Why can’t you leave me alone? I don’t want a God damn phone. Hell, what do you think I’m talking on now? Kindly F off, you old-
Woman: No, I’m calling for William Everknight. It’s Mrs. Levene from Global Impact Wrestling and you’ll do well to keep a civil tongue in my presence. Keep that disgraceful language to yourself in future. Now, explain yourself.
Will: Oh, Mrs. Levene! I’m sorry, I had no idea. I’ve been, I mean I’m, well it’s like-
Old Lady Levene: So this is William Everknight? Donovan warned me about you. I thought he was talking hogwash but he was clearly completely correct.
Will: What?
OLL: I’m calling to inform you of your match this week. I heard your interview with that lovely Moss Edwards on Sunday and after careful consideration I’ve decided to give you your second GIW.com defence. You’ll be defending against Robert Montana.
Will: Oh, thank you Old La- I mean, Mrs. Levene. I won’t disappoint you.
OLL: So long as you leave Glenn Burke in one piece, I don’t care what you do. Now, I have to inform Robert of his golden opportunity. I bid ye farewell!
(click)
Will: I’m back.
Alice: And I’m not you-know-what anymore. Sorry, Will, you’ll have to wait till you’re here and impress me all over again. Who was that, anyway? Ark again?
Will: Ark’s on hold. That was Old Lady Levene and I swore at her!
Alice: Will! Why would you do that?
Will: Uh... I didn’t mean to! Anyway, I’m facing Robert Montana on Sunday.
Alice: Who’s that?
Will: He’s new and he’s shown a lot of potential. Oh and I’m defending my GIW.com Championship but it’s cool, I’m not worried.
Alice: You never are.
Will: I don’t know. One of the ring crew said he heard Montana talking to himself and a cameraman said he saw Montana talking to a wall. I don’t know which is worse. Maybe I’ll knock some sense into him on Sunday.
Alice: He sounds crazy.
Will: Yeah, he’s probably crazy or maybe he’s an alcoholic or something, I don’t know. They’re all crazy in GIW. Travis Roberts talks in third person, Owen Peterson wears a replica title belt and don’t even get me started on Andy Savana and Declan Prescott, they make Stone Cold look straight edge.
Alice: Yawn... sorry, Baby, I’m getting tired. I think I should go. There’s a steak in the fridge if you’re hungry when you get back.
Will: Mmm... steak. Okay, Angel, goodnight. Mwah!
Alice: Goodnight, Will. I love you.
Will: I love you too.
(click)
Will: Ark?
Ark: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Will: Oh well, never mind. Goodnight, Ark.
(click)
Will: Andy, are you awake?
Andy: Yawn... barely. What happened?
Will: It’s a long story but I’ll give you a scoop, before any paper or any journalist. I’m defending my GIW.com Championship against Robert Montana on Sunday.
Andy: Really? Cool! He’ll be a piece of cake. Good luck anyway.
Will: Luck?
Andy: Oh yeah, you don’t need luck. Anyhow, I have a scoop of my own! I should be out of here by the end of the month! The Dr. said I’m nearly well enough to go home.
Will: That’s awesome, Andy! I’m so happy for you. Are you having a party?
Andy: Nah... I have to relax. The Dr. said I have to take it easy. I’m not completely recovered but I’m getting there.
Will: Good. You really are an inspiration, Champ. I’m proud of you. Anyway, you better get some sleep if that’s what the Dr. said, and I better get some sleep to or Robert Montana might actually have a chance.
Andy: Yeah, yawn, I am tired. G’night, Will.
Will: Goodnight, Andy. Oh, now what?
(click)
Man: Is this the sex line ‘cause I have a BIG problem and by BIG problem, I really mean I have a small problem. I can’t get an erection no matter what I do. I’ve tried watching porn, I’ve tried jerking off and I’ve tried experimenting if y’know what I mean. Why, even www.cam4.com didn’t work. My wife thinks I’m having an affair and I would if I could but I can’t even do that! I really am a hopeless romantic. Where am I going wrong? I mean, is it possible I’ve been having TOO much sex? Maybe it’s like a lithium-ion battery. I’ve completely drained it and now it’s broken. I don’t know!
Will: Wrong number.
(click)