Post by Declan Prescott on Aug 14, 2009 8:34:41 GMT -5
Dreams. The unconscious unscrambling of confusing memories by a troubled brain? The random thoughts of a restless mind crashing together into one? A prediction of all that may yet pass? A serene escape from the harsh realities of our existence? Something that we can’t even begin to understand?
Fidel Cash Flow: Wake the fuck up nigga, there’s money to be made!
Declan opens his eyes. He looks to his tag team partner, who is grinning and rubbing two nickels together.
FCF: Come on D, we need to get going.
Declan: Since when are you so proactive?
FCF: Since that.
FCF points to the group of ninjas hiding behind the curtains.
Declan: FUCK! THEY’RE IN THE APARTMENT!
FCF: And Nigga General is nowhere to be seen! It’s up to us!
Cut to…
Nigga General can be seen huddled in a corner somewhere, shaking and covered in cold sweat. His hat reads ‘1097-1’.
NG: I lost… I lost… can’t… can’t believe… I lost… ma niglet tokens… dey let me down… can’t go on… destiny… crushed…
He then loses consciousness and falls face first into Old Lady Levene’s lap.
OLL: Nigga be touchin’ ma granny fanny.
…
…
…
…
…
OLL: I like it.
Cut to…
Declan: There’s only one thing to do Cash.
FCF: Steal their wallets?
Declan: The fuck?! Why would a ninja carry a wallet?!
Pizza Guy: Pizza’s here!
Ninja Andrew: Thanks man, you got change for a fifty? It’s all I’ve got in my wallet.
Declan: Okay… but how do we get close enough to steal their wallets?
FCF: Way ahead of ya, D. Check this out. I swindled a couple rubes out of these by giving them a night with my stripper wife, Gorgeous.
The pair make their way into the kitchen, where Ted is snorting cocaine out of Barney The Dinosaur’s belly button. A little past that are two pirate outfits.
Declan: Ninjas verse pirates, huh? Gon’ be bad ass.
FCF: Huh? My plan was to live as pirates for the next seven years, until we return to find Dylan James in charge of GIW, who would give us the services of Aesc The Plumber, who would then get the wallets for us. But your plan is okay too, I guess.
Aesc walks past, wearing only a tie.
Declan: Alright. Lets put these suits on and take down some Asians!!
48 seconds later…
The GIW Tag Team Champions watch on, as the paramedics load Barney into the ambulance.
Declan: Beaten to death with his own tail. Those ninjas don’t fuck around…
FCF: Yeah, but I got his wallet!
FCF opens the leather wallet, only to find a bunch of condoms and a telephone number. Naturally, our heroes dial the number on Brandon Brown’s cell phone.
FCF: Yo nigga.
Phone: Neverland Ranch, for inquiries on memorial service number 1-9-7-6-0-1, press 1. If you require new bed sheets, press 3. For all other inquiries, press 8, followed by the hash key nineteen times.
FCF: Day-um…
Declan: I think there’s something wrong with my pirate outfit…
Declan looks down at where the 6 inch skirt ends and his exposed thighs begin.
Ted: I’d jerk off to it.
FCF and Declan: o.O
Declan: Look, we still haven’t taken care of the ninjas.
FCF: That’s true, D. That shit should be easy money. Then we can buy a flat screen TV! Watch us some World Wrestling Entertainment!
DX: LIVE on Pay-Per-View August 23rd!
Declan: ONWARD TO THE NINJAS! IT’S WHAT NIGGA GENERAL WOULD HAVE WANTED!
FCF: CHARGE!!!!
The pair go roaring full speed at the ninjas.
0.48 of a second later…
The GIW Tag Team Champions are being loaded into the ambulance, by the paramedics.
FCF: Well that didn’t go as planned. Say, do you have to tip ambulance drivers?
Declan: I don’t even tip The Pizza Guy.
Pizza Guy: Yeah, I know. And you’re gonna pay for it!
Declan looks to the driver’s seat, to see The Pizza Guy grinning sadistically.
Pizza Guy: I’m driving this baby straight into the heart of China Town!
Declan and FCF erupt in cries of terror, scrambling desperately to break free of the restraints on their stretchers.
Pizza Guy: Struggling won’t help you. You’re strapped in there tight and not going anywhere!
FCF: This is the perfect opportunity for a momma joke!
Shelton’s Momma: GIMME SOME CHICKEN!
Declan: Well, at least things can’t get any worse.
At that very moment, the man in the passenger seat turns to face the duo.
Alex Kiseragi: My place is on the way to China Town, so I’m getting a lift. You guys don’t mind, right?
And we leave our heroes to their fate.
Fidel Cash Flow: Wake the fuck up nigga, there’s money to be made!
Declan opens his eyes. He looks to his tag team partner, who is grinning and rubbing two nickels together.
FCF: Come on D, we need to get going.
Declan: Since when are you so proactive?
FCF: Since that.
FCF points to the group of ninjas hiding behind the curtains.
Declan: FUCK! THEY’RE IN THE APARTMENT!
FCF: And Nigga General is nowhere to be seen! It’s up to us!
Cut to…
Nigga General can be seen huddled in a corner somewhere, shaking and covered in cold sweat. His hat reads ‘1097-1’.
NG: I lost… I lost… can’t… can’t believe… I lost… ma niglet tokens… dey let me down… can’t go on… destiny… crushed…
He then loses consciousness and falls face first into Old Lady Levene’s lap.
OLL: Nigga be touchin’ ma granny fanny.
…
…
…
…
…
OLL: I like it.
Cut to…
Declan: There’s only one thing to do Cash.
FCF: Steal their wallets?
Declan: The fuck?! Why would a ninja carry a wallet?!
Pizza Guy: Pizza’s here!
Ninja Andrew: Thanks man, you got change for a fifty? It’s all I’ve got in my wallet.
Declan: Okay… but how do we get close enough to steal their wallets?
FCF: Way ahead of ya, D. Check this out. I swindled a couple rubes out of these by giving them a night with my stripper wife, Gorgeous.
The pair make their way into the kitchen, where Ted is snorting cocaine out of Barney The Dinosaur’s belly button. A little past that are two pirate outfits.
Declan: Ninjas verse pirates, huh? Gon’ be bad ass.
FCF: Huh? My plan was to live as pirates for the next seven years, until we return to find Dylan James in charge of GIW, who would give us the services of Aesc The Plumber, who would then get the wallets for us. But your plan is okay too, I guess.
Aesc walks past, wearing only a tie.
Declan: Alright. Lets put these suits on and take down some Asians!!
48 seconds later…
The GIW Tag Team Champions watch on, as the paramedics load Barney into the ambulance.
Declan: Beaten to death with his own tail. Those ninjas don’t fuck around…
FCF: Yeah, but I got his wallet!
FCF opens the leather wallet, only to find a bunch of condoms and a telephone number. Naturally, our heroes dial the number on Brandon Brown’s cell phone.
FCF: Yo nigga.
Phone: Neverland Ranch, for inquiries on memorial service number 1-9-7-6-0-1, press 1. If you require new bed sheets, press 3. For all other inquiries, press 8, followed by the hash key nineteen times.
FCF: Day-um…
Declan: I think there’s something wrong with my pirate outfit…
Declan looks down at where the 6 inch skirt ends and his exposed thighs begin.
Ted: I’d jerk off to it.
FCF and Declan: o.O
Declan: Look, we still haven’t taken care of the ninjas.
FCF: That’s true, D. That shit should be easy money. Then we can buy a flat screen TV! Watch us some World Wrestling Entertainment!
DX: LIVE on Pay-Per-View August 23rd!
Declan: ONWARD TO THE NINJAS! IT’S WHAT NIGGA GENERAL WOULD HAVE WANTED!
FCF: CHARGE!!!!
The pair go roaring full speed at the ninjas.
0.48 of a second later…
The GIW Tag Team Champions are being loaded into the ambulance, by the paramedics.
FCF: Well that didn’t go as planned. Say, do you have to tip ambulance drivers?
Declan: I don’t even tip The Pizza Guy.
Pizza Guy: Yeah, I know. And you’re gonna pay for it!
Declan looks to the driver’s seat, to see The Pizza Guy grinning sadistically.
Pizza Guy: I’m driving this baby straight into the heart of China Town!
Declan and FCF erupt in cries of terror, scrambling desperately to break free of the restraints on their stretchers.
Pizza Guy: Struggling won’t help you. You’re strapped in there tight and not going anywhere!
FCF: This is the perfect opportunity for a momma joke!
Shelton’s Momma: GIMME SOME CHICKEN!
Declan: Well, at least things can’t get any worse.
At that very moment, the man in the passenger seat turns to face the duo.
Alex Kiseragi: My place is on the way to China Town, so I’m getting a lift. You guys don’t mind, right?
And we leave our heroes to their fate.
