WWE NoC Predictions

[>V<]

WWE World Heavyweight Championship:
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena

WWE United States Championship:
Sheamus (c) vs. Cesaro

WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. The Miz

Triple threat: WWE Divas Championship:
Paige (c) vs. AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

Mark Henry vs. Rusev

WWE Tag Team Championship:
The Usos (c) vs. Gold and Stardust

Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

WWE World Heavyweight Championship:
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena
Lesnar - more of the same. Suplex City, dominance.

WWE United States Championship:
Sheamus (c) vs. Cesaro
Sheamus - because no matter how good Cesaro is, the writers are morons

WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. The Miz
The Mix - Because Ziggler is terrible, and he definitely isn't awesome

Triple threat: WWE Divas Championship:
Paige (c) vs. AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
Page - Because I don't see AJ hanging around long, and Bella sucks (but looks chestilicious while doing so)

Mark Henry vs. Rusev
Rusev - Put Henry and Show back together already

WWE Tag Team Championship:
The Usos (c) vs. Gold and Stardust
The Dusts - fuck Rikishi for having such boring fucking spawn

Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
Orton - Jericho isn't a title threat, and they'll need a challenger for Reigns when they ultimately have him be the one to beat Brock

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
Reigns - need uber face challenger after Cena gets beat, and Rollins will still have his briefcase

[Jet Somers]

Prediction 1: none of the wyatt family is featured.

Prediction 2: Vince owes me 10 dollars for overcharging for service

Prediction 3: b cancels his subscription

[Ezekiel Pax]

Watts will be featured on the countdown I bet.

Quick Predictions:

Lesnar wins. He won't lose until the Rumble or Mania.

Paige wins.

Orton wins because Jerichos new gimmick is to put people over.

Rhodes Bros win.

Reigns wins.

Miz wins because he's awesome as a heel.

Henry wins.

Cesar wins because no one expects him to even though we all want him to win.

[Eden Morgan]

A Wyatt-less PPV? YES! YES! YES!

Hey, if Steph can steal it, so can I. Moving along...

WWE World Heavyweight Championship:
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena
Want: John Cena. I don't even feel bad about wanting him to win anymore, I despise Lesnar and Heyman so much they've almost made me a Cena fan.
Expect: Fucktard Lesnar. I'll skip that match like I did their last one.

WWE United States Championship:
Sheamus (c) vs. Cesaro
Want: Sheamus. Am I the only one who doesn't like Cesaro?
Expect: Sheamus. Cause fuck Cesaro.

WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. The Miz
Want: Damien Mizdow. How awesome would it be if the stunt double stole the title right from under Miz's nose?! The fit Miz would pitch would be EPIC.
Expect: Dolph Ziggler. Because WWE can't come up with these great ideas themselves.

Triple threat: WWE Divas Championship:
Paige (c) vs. AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
Want: A hardcore match. Actually, make it a TLC match. With staple guns. Cause staple guns + implants = first couple rows soaked and not just in Bella tears!
Expect: Really don't give a shit. Bathroom break. Probably AJ Punk, I mean Lee. Expect to be disappointed because there are no staple guns to be had and WWE decides to be predictable by having Brie come out and cost Nikki the match. Next PPV we'll see a sister war. Still with no staple guns.

Mark Henry vs. Rusev
Want: Bad News Barrett to show up and whip both their asses. Or let's do a legit Russia vs USA and have Putin vs Obama. Putin should totes give Obama a head start, like Obama gets the first 3 hits for free, cause you know, Obama = pussy.
Expect: Disappointment. All around. None of the above happens. Sad day.

WWE Tag Team Championship:
The Usos (c) vs. Gold and Stardust
Want: Cody to snap the fuck out of it. Fuck this stupid Dustbunny shit.
Expect: Usos. I'm hoping it's the Usos. Why? Because awarding the Dustbunnies a title lends legitimacy to this ridiculous angle/gimmick. It deserves none.

Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
Want: Jericho's jacket to short out during his entrance and it to display a giant glowing middle finger on his back with the words "Fuck Orton" going down his arms. Or for him to enter to the Disney parade of lights theme. Either or.
Expect: Orton. Someone said it earlier, there's no reason for Jericho to win this, no real storyline for it, and every reason for Orton to. Plus Orton needs to redeem himself from getting pwned so badly by Reigns.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
Want: Roman Reigns. Oh, you meant who I want to win? Well that's still my answer
Expect: Roman Reigns. He's the badass hero who's going to take down that douchebag world champ who sounds like he just hit puberty. And Seth Rollins continues to look great in bondage gear. Hallelujah and Ramen.

[>V<]

WWE World Heavyweight Championship:
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena
Want: Brock Lesnar, because of Paul Heyman. His promo work alone has made this feud.
Prediction: Cena, because the writers are complete morons. My subscription to the Network ran out a couple of weeks ago. I swear to Christ, if Cena wins...I am NOT renewing it.

WWE United States Championship:
Sheamus (c) vs. Cesaro
Want: Cesaro, because there's something that I detest about Sheamus. I cannot for the life of me explain what it is, I just really dislike the guy. He seems like a bad person, somehow.
Prediction: Sheamus, because they totally shit the bed on Cesaro. They had lightning in a bottle, and they completely threw it away.

WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. The Miz
Want: The Miz, because Ziggler is a pitiful ripoff of Billy Gunn. The Miz, on the other hand, is AWESOME!
Prediction: Miz wins, and Ziggler goes back to his Spirit Squad gimmick.

Triple threat: WWE Divas Championship:
Paige (c) vs. AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
Want: AJ Lee, and also for the goddamn crowd to stop chanting her husband's name when she's out there. He's not coming back, you ass-clowns, and she deserves so much better than that kind of treatment.
Prediction: They'll probably put Nikki over, so they can keep shoving her deplorable sibling rivalry storyline down our throats. Then when people don't give a damn about it, the so-called experts will say it's because women's wrestling is no good. Well, fuck you experts! There's a ton of brilliant women wrestlers out there, it's the fact that dipshit fans don't pay attention and chant the name of a Quit Bitch for no fucking reason instead.

Mark Henry vs. Rusev
Want: Jack Swagger to seriously beat the fuck out of Rusev. That's all, they don't even get to start the match; Swagger comes out of nowhere with a barbed wire bat and hits Rusev in the fucking face. Then smacks Lana on the ass and tells HER to "sha-tahp!" That's right, I've totally become a Swagger mark because of all this.
Prediction: Probably Rusev wins, because they're still pushing this douchebag to the moon. Also, I just want to point out how dreadfully awful Mark Henry has been on the mic. Why does he have a job?!

WWE Tag Team Championship:
The Usos (c) vs. Gold and Stardust
Want: The Dust Brothers, because of the same reason Chad said. The Usos' dad was lame as fuck, and so are they. I wouldn't have thought it was possible for high-flying babyface twin brothers to be so dreadfully dull, but they sure proved me wrong.
Prediction: The Usos will probably win, so they can justify printing up all of that merchandise that nobody buys.

Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
Want: The Apex Predator to punt Jericho's skull into the upper deck.
Prediction: Probably what I predicted. Jericho is scheduled to leave in order to promote his autobiography and probably host more lame VH1 shows. Giving Orton back some of his street cred and making him look dangerous by taking out a babyface is a great way to make him relevant. He needs the win after dominating Reigns and costing himself the win at SummerSlam by getting too cocky. They've teased a return to supervillian mode for awhile now. This is the perfect opportunity to have him built back up to being dangerous.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
Want: Mr. Money in the Bank, because it's shockingly obvious that the Roman Empire is ready to fall before it even got going. Rome wasn't built in a day, and Mr. Reigns has a long fucking way to go before he can be considered a big-name talent.
Prediction: Dean Ambrose will probably return and try to interfere, which might backfire. Oh, who am I kidding? Reigns will win easily, leading to a post-match beatdown by Rollins and the Director of Chokeslams. Then and only then will Mean Dean return and be a glorious vengeful spirit all full of bloodlust and general badassery, seeking revenge.

[Red Bull Icon]

I predict that these predictions have been more entertaining then the show will be.

[Lord Hastings]

WWE World Heavyweight Championship:
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena
Want: Brock Lesnar, because otherwise what was the point?
Prediction: Cena, because what WWE has taught us is that Cena losing means nothing. At this point I expect that Brock could rip off Cena's leg and beat him with it, and Cena would rise above, grow another one, connect with his finisher/first move of the match and win.

WWE United States Championship:
Sheamus (c) vs. Cesaro
Want: Cesaro. I actually think Sheamus would make a good filler challenger for Brock.
Prediction: Sheamus.

WWE Intercontinental Championship:
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. The Miz
Want: Indifferent.
Prediction: Miz

Triple threat: WWE Divas Championship:
Paige (c) vs. AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
Want: Paige. We need to save B's subscription and this is probably the best chance we have.
Prediction: Nikki

Mark Henry vs. Rusev
Want: Rusev, and then we go to a Cena/Rusev feud because it will be interesting to see who the crowd supports.
Prediction: Rusev

WWE Tag Team Championship:
The Usos (c) vs. Gold and Stardust
Want: The Dust Brothers
Prediction: The Dust Brothers

Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
Want: Jericho, because I'm generally disinterested by Orton.
Prediction: Orton, because Jericho really should lose on the way out.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
Want: to know why we got a clean finish on RAW and will probably get some sort of hot mess here.
Prediction: DQ finish

[Harley Addams]

Divas: I miss Emma. But then I miss Santino too. Miss Lee is gunna wanna do that baby thing soon (plus her husband is suing the company she works for). Paige is just missing a stripper pole the way her routine is going. Bella is what's wrong in wrestling and in Corp culture. Conclusion: who cares. I wanna see staple guns too. Get those Australian Jackass chicks to wrestle. Now its on!

The Dust Brothers.... just make it weird. .. make it oh sooo weird

Emm... Mr Orton. Show me dangerous. Show me Apex Predator. Rip him in two and mop the mat with his guts. *girl sighs* god he's pretty to watch

Seth vs Reigns. I want high flying Seth to do some of his crazy stuff again. Who knows/cares.

In short the writers suck so bad I feel for the wrestlers.

[Jet Somers]

Prediction 4: Reigns doesn't compete due to hernia surgery.

haha