Post by Alex Kiseragi on Aug 19, 2009 5:06:26 GMT -5
It was late when he finally got home. Although it irritated him to have to do so, Alex had travelled back to San Francisco after the show. He didn’t have a choice, he’d run out of clothes and wearing the same two shirts was getting tedious now. He was tired, as he normally was at these times and he fumbled groggily for the keys in his back pocket. They jangled painfully loudly in the otherwise silent hallway as all but the most irregular tenants had long since turned in for the night. He unlocked the door, holding his breath as he did so as he prepared himself for the ever present possibility that he’d be robbed during his absence. As he stepped inside he sighed with relief as he discovered it wasn’t the case and slowly, politely closed the door behind him.
He hit the lights, well aware of the switches position even in the din. As the harsh light flooded the hallway he recoiled and took cover behind his arm, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Eventually he’d recovered enough to kick off his shoes, remove his socks and plod into the kitchen.
The opening of the fridge was usually an enjoyable experience, but not this time. He almost gagged at the putrid stench that emanated from it and vainly pulled his t-shirt up over his nose and mouth. One by one he picked out the assorted moulding and rotting items responsible and hurled them into the bin. After several minutes he sighed at the near bare sight that now stood before him. Reluctantly, he removed a surprisingly resilient block of cheese and two slices of bread with the mould carefully torn off and made himself a sandwich.
He’d sleep soon, but for now he was going to eat this and no-one likes crumbs in their bed, so he walked through to the living room and slumped heavily onto the couch, idly turning the TV on as he did so. As the first stale bite was arduously chewed he hopped over the channels, eventually settling on some Police Camera show he had probably seen before but right now didn’t care. Bite by bite he worked his way through the sandwich, gormlessly staring at the television until-
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He pushed himself up off the ground. How he’d ended up down there he didn’t know but from the pain in his knees and hands he could only assume he’d fallen and fallen hard at that. He brushed off his hands and made to brush down his clothes. That’s when he noticed the suit of red Samurai armour that adorned him and the twin blades that hung from his hip.
“What the…?” he muttered as he looked around at his surroundings. The path he stood on was covered in stones, the largest clearly entrenched in the ground while those around them were loose, giving way to any force applied to them. All around were tall trees, too dense to pass through with any ease and many enough to block his view. Above him the skies were cloudy and foreboding.
Up ahead he heard a scream and instinctively rushed towards it. One hand grasped on the hilt of his blade. Turning another twist in the path he saw them, four dark spectres assailing someone he couldn’t make out. With a cry he drew the blade and held it high above his head as he charged. The spectres, seemingly stunned by his arrival fled into the tree line as he swung the blade down in vicious arcs that caught nothing but air. Even so, they did the job. What Alex found though, was far from what he expected. Slowly recovering on the ground at his feet was a chimp. Alex almost fainted as it turned to him, revealing the face of Brandon Brown, fresh beard and all, miniaturised and placed onto it’s head.
“Brandon?”
“That’s me. Thanks- Oh it’s you. Haven’t seen you in a while. Thanks for the save.” Brandon Monkey said as he got to his feet.
“You’re-” Alex paused as Brandon Monkey leapt onto a nearby branch overhanging the road. “-welcome. So um, where am I anyway?”
Brandon looked at him, puzzled. “You’re on the rocky road of course.”
“Where does it lead?”
“The slippery slope.”
“Then?”
“The top.”
“The top?”
“Yeah, the top. Where else would it lead? It’s the only place anyone around here wants to go.”
“So that’s where you’re headed?”
“Sure am.”
“Well, looks like we’re heading the same way then. May as well travel together for a while.”
“May as well.” Brandon replied. And so the two of them carried on along the rocky road.
It wasn’t long before they came across a hobo by the side of the street, asleep leant up against a tree. He was dressed in torn red pants and a yellow shirt that hung half tucked in. His hair was shaggy and matted, matching his beard. Alex and Brandon could smell him from metres away.
“Hey, it’s Tweedle-drunk.” Alex mused. The sound of voices and unsettled stones roused the drunkard back to consciousness and he looked up, revealing the familiar face of Andy Savana. “You ok?” Alex asked.
Savana looked up and recoiled, pressing himself back against the tree. “Asian!” he exclaimed with fear.
Brandon and Alex look between each other, raising their eyebrows before looking back down at the hobo. “Aren’t you heading to the top?” Brandon asked.
Savana seemed to calm slightly though still eyeing Alex wearily as he responded. “Nah.” he slumped back down and revealed a bottle of whiskey from behind the tree, opened it with his teeth and took a long gulp. “I’m kind of stuck here. Always have been.”
“Oh ok.” Alex said. “Well, we’d better get going.”
As he finished, Savana leapt to his feet, brandishing the bottle above his head by the neck and inadvertently pouring the remains of the bottle over himself as he launched himself at them. “But I can stop you getting there!” he shouted.
Before he could strike, Brandon was on him. The monkey latched to his face and clawed wildly as Savana thrashed about in a vain attempt to defend himself. It wasn’t long until Savana collapsed, leaving an unscathed Brandon to carry on.
“Nice work.” Alex said approvingly and the pair moved on.
Only a little further up the road they ran into something very rarely seen around here. Someone passing them the opposite way, willingly.
“And Tweedle-drunker.” Brandon joked, raising an amused giggle from Alex.
Indeed coming the other way, down the gentle incline was the unmistakable form of Declan Prescott. Just like Savana he wore a dishevelled yellow shirt and red pants, clutched a bottle of whiskey and staggered uncontrollably, more than once almost falling as he stepped on the edge of a rock or a loose stone gave way beneath him.
“Ah fuckin’ nigga!” he blurted as he finally lost his footing and fell into a crumpled heap on the ground.
“Um, where are you coming from?” Alex asked.
“Fuck you Nigga Asian Nigga.” Declan responded as he got back to his feet.
“Um…right.” Alex shrugged. “Ok, enjoy your trip that way.” he said, pointing back behind him. “We’ll be going that way.” he added, pointed ahead of them.
“Well you gotta get past me Nigga!” Declan yelled in his face.
Alex and Brandon shared another perplexed and amused look. “I’ll take this one.” Alex said, matter-of-factly. As they spoke Declan had shattered a whiskey bottle on a rock and thrust it towards Alex’s face. Alex’s foot met his chin and he dropped, unconscious before he hit the ground.
“Good job.” Brandon said and again they moved on up the road.
They moved on, further this time, occasionally stumbling but ever moving forward up the road until, at the crest of a hill, the view opened up to them. Not far in the distance stood a mountain, seemingly topped by some kind of temple. It’s sides were formed of jagged rock, intermixed with wet mud that sloshed between them. In the sky, the overcast clouds turned black and stormy, rain battering the rocks. In the very centre though, above the temple, they gave way forming a perfect circle that allowed bright brilliant sunlight to shine upon the temple.
“So that would be…” Alex started, pointing off into the distance.
“The top.” Brandon finished.
“And to get there we need to go…” Alex traced his finger up the mountainside.
“Up the slippery slope.”
“I figured.” Alex paused. “It looks familiar.”
“You’ve been there before. We both have.”
“I think I miss it.”
“Me too.”
“We should get going then.”
With a nod, Brandon Monkey and Alex headed to the foot of the slippery slope. Their path along the final stretch of the road was unimpeded and it wasn’t long before they stood at the foot of the mountain, ready to begin their final ascent. They were about to start climbing when a voice called out from the undergrowth.
“Hey, is someone out there?”
The two of them, paused, looking first at one another, then all around them. Unable to see anything straight away they bent down to sift through the patches of long grass and low bushes that formed the edge of the tree line. It didn’t take Alex long to find the source of the voice. Pushing aside a tall clump of grass he revealed a bowling ball, almost perfectly white and entirely smooth with a soft shine. However, where one would normally expect to find finger holes were a pair of eyes, a nose and mouth and finally a patch of hair which somehow seemed to have actually grown from the ball.
“Oh finally. I didn’t think anyone was going to catch up to me.” the ball said.
“Um…Moss?”
“Well yeah, who else is it going to be?”
By this point Brandon had realised the source had been found and scampered over to look, taking a seat on Alex’s shoulder as he crouched down to speak.
“How did you get here?”
Moss glanced out of the side of his eyes, back the way they’d come. “Well I managed to get a rolling start and I managed to roll through the rocky road pretty easily. But, then I kind of ran out of momentum and now I’m stuck.”
“I see where this is going.” Brandon whispered in Alex’s ear.
Alex nodded gently as Moss continued. “I don’t suppose you guys could-”
“Carry you?”
“If you don’t mind. I won’t be too much of a burden.” Moss added hopefully.
Alex sighed, “Ok, but just for a little while.”
And so Alex hefted Moss up, wrapped him in a large cloth and slung him across his back before the three of them made their way up the slippery slope.
It was a tough climb. The rain and winds battered their bodies with every step. More than once a wet rock or a mud slide would send them slipping down an edge, only for them to desperately grasp back on to a hand hold and steady themselves. Near the top they were stalled by a wide glass overhang, too wide to go around and too deep to climb over and they had been forced to break through it. Through it all though they had persevered and now they stood together at the top. The sun beat down on them, drying their bodies, the heat easing the aches in their joints and muscles. Somehow it made it all worthwhile. Together, without a word, they headed inside.
What met them was not quite what they expected. Inside the great temple at the top of the mountain was a head. The biggest head anyone had ever seen. If a body had ever been attached it had long since been absorbed into the heads expansive form. Long greasy hair flowed off all around and a mass of facial hair covered it’s chin. Great dark aviators shielded it’s eyes. As the heroes approached, it’s voice boomed.
“Why do you disturb the Blessed Head!?”
“We wanted to be at the top.” Alex replied confidently.
“There is only room for one at the top! Guards! Seize them!”
From the shadows in the edge of the chamber Tweedle-Drunk and Tweedle-Drunker emerged, stumbling and staggering into view, each still bearing the scars of their previous encounters with Brandon and Alex, Savana’s face covered in tiny scars and Declan’s chin now being placed somewhere around his right ear.
“What’re you two doing up here?” Brandon asked.
“The Blessed Head knew you were coming so he dragged us up here to watch his back Nigga.” Declan replied.
As the two of them loomed up on the trio Alex surveyed the situation. Surely the two together would be more formidable then apart, if only slightly. He weighed Moss the bowling ball in his hand and looked between the drunks and the Blessed Head.
“Sorry Moss, time for you to do me a favour. Keep him busy for us.” Alex said apologetically before hurling Moss straight at the head. The two spheres fell out of the air, rolling and clattering against one another, neither able to gain a clear advantage. The main threat neutralised for now, Alex and Brandon charged and-
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The TV was still on, now showing an old repeat of a long since cancelled sitcom that Alex had no love for the first time around. On the couch next to him were the remains of a half eaten sandwich. He rubbed his eyes, clearing the thin filmy haze from them and bringing the world back into focus.
“Well that was fucked up.” he muttered to himself. “I guess the whole cheese before bed thing is true.”
He got to his feet, taking the last of the sandwich with him to throw in the bin before heading to the shower. It wasn’t going to feel like long before he was back on a plane to L.A. and he had a lot of preparing to do before then. Something told him this week he may just have a challenge ahead, one which, if he overcame it, could lead him right back to the top.
He hit the lights, well aware of the switches position even in the din. As the harsh light flooded the hallway he recoiled and took cover behind his arm, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Eventually he’d recovered enough to kick off his shoes, remove his socks and plod into the kitchen.
The opening of the fridge was usually an enjoyable experience, but not this time. He almost gagged at the putrid stench that emanated from it and vainly pulled his t-shirt up over his nose and mouth. One by one he picked out the assorted moulding and rotting items responsible and hurled them into the bin. After several minutes he sighed at the near bare sight that now stood before him. Reluctantly, he removed a surprisingly resilient block of cheese and two slices of bread with the mould carefully torn off and made himself a sandwich.
He’d sleep soon, but for now he was going to eat this and no-one likes crumbs in their bed, so he walked through to the living room and slumped heavily onto the couch, idly turning the TV on as he did so. As the first stale bite was arduously chewed he hopped over the channels, eventually settling on some Police Camera show he had probably seen before but right now didn’t care. Bite by bite he worked his way through the sandwich, gormlessly staring at the television until-
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He pushed himself up off the ground. How he’d ended up down there he didn’t know but from the pain in his knees and hands he could only assume he’d fallen and fallen hard at that. He brushed off his hands and made to brush down his clothes. That’s when he noticed the suit of red Samurai armour that adorned him and the twin blades that hung from his hip.
“What the…?” he muttered as he looked around at his surroundings. The path he stood on was covered in stones, the largest clearly entrenched in the ground while those around them were loose, giving way to any force applied to them. All around were tall trees, too dense to pass through with any ease and many enough to block his view. Above him the skies were cloudy and foreboding.
Up ahead he heard a scream and instinctively rushed towards it. One hand grasped on the hilt of his blade. Turning another twist in the path he saw them, four dark spectres assailing someone he couldn’t make out. With a cry he drew the blade and held it high above his head as he charged. The spectres, seemingly stunned by his arrival fled into the tree line as he swung the blade down in vicious arcs that caught nothing but air. Even so, they did the job. What Alex found though, was far from what he expected. Slowly recovering on the ground at his feet was a chimp. Alex almost fainted as it turned to him, revealing the face of Brandon Brown, fresh beard and all, miniaturised and placed onto it’s head.
“Brandon?”
“That’s me. Thanks- Oh it’s you. Haven’t seen you in a while. Thanks for the save.” Brandon Monkey said as he got to his feet.
“You’re-” Alex paused as Brandon Monkey leapt onto a nearby branch overhanging the road. “-welcome. So um, where am I anyway?”
Brandon looked at him, puzzled. “You’re on the rocky road of course.”
“Where does it lead?”
“The slippery slope.”
“Then?”
“The top.”
“The top?”
“Yeah, the top. Where else would it lead? It’s the only place anyone around here wants to go.”
“So that’s where you’re headed?”
“Sure am.”
“Well, looks like we’re heading the same way then. May as well travel together for a while.”
“May as well.” Brandon replied. And so the two of them carried on along the rocky road.
It wasn’t long before they came across a hobo by the side of the street, asleep leant up against a tree. He was dressed in torn red pants and a yellow shirt that hung half tucked in. His hair was shaggy and matted, matching his beard. Alex and Brandon could smell him from metres away.
“Hey, it’s Tweedle-drunk.” Alex mused. The sound of voices and unsettled stones roused the drunkard back to consciousness and he looked up, revealing the familiar face of Andy Savana. “You ok?” Alex asked.
Savana looked up and recoiled, pressing himself back against the tree. “Asian!” he exclaimed with fear.
Brandon and Alex look between each other, raising their eyebrows before looking back down at the hobo. “Aren’t you heading to the top?” Brandon asked.
Savana seemed to calm slightly though still eyeing Alex wearily as he responded. “Nah.” he slumped back down and revealed a bottle of whiskey from behind the tree, opened it with his teeth and took a long gulp. “I’m kind of stuck here. Always have been.”
“Oh ok.” Alex said. “Well, we’d better get going.”
As he finished, Savana leapt to his feet, brandishing the bottle above his head by the neck and inadvertently pouring the remains of the bottle over himself as he launched himself at them. “But I can stop you getting there!” he shouted.
Before he could strike, Brandon was on him. The monkey latched to his face and clawed wildly as Savana thrashed about in a vain attempt to defend himself. It wasn’t long until Savana collapsed, leaving an unscathed Brandon to carry on.
“Nice work.” Alex said approvingly and the pair moved on.
Only a little further up the road they ran into something very rarely seen around here. Someone passing them the opposite way, willingly.
“And Tweedle-drunker.” Brandon joked, raising an amused giggle from Alex.
Indeed coming the other way, down the gentle incline was the unmistakable form of Declan Prescott. Just like Savana he wore a dishevelled yellow shirt and red pants, clutched a bottle of whiskey and staggered uncontrollably, more than once almost falling as he stepped on the edge of a rock or a loose stone gave way beneath him.
“Ah fuckin’ nigga!” he blurted as he finally lost his footing and fell into a crumpled heap on the ground.
“Um, where are you coming from?” Alex asked.
“Fuck you Nigga Asian Nigga.” Declan responded as he got back to his feet.
“Um…right.” Alex shrugged. “Ok, enjoy your trip that way.” he said, pointing back behind him. “We’ll be going that way.” he added, pointed ahead of them.
“Well you gotta get past me Nigga!” Declan yelled in his face.
Alex and Brandon shared another perplexed and amused look. “I’ll take this one.” Alex said, matter-of-factly. As they spoke Declan had shattered a whiskey bottle on a rock and thrust it towards Alex’s face. Alex’s foot met his chin and he dropped, unconscious before he hit the ground.
“Good job.” Brandon said and again they moved on up the road.
They moved on, further this time, occasionally stumbling but ever moving forward up the road until, at the crest of a hill, the view opened up to them. Not far in the distance stood a mountain, seemingly topped by some kind of temple. It’s sides were formed of jagged rock, intermixed with wet mud that sloshed between them. In the sky, the overcast clouds turned black and stormy, rain battering the rocks. In the very centre though, above the temple, they gave way forming a perfect circle that allowed bright brilliant sunlight to shine upon the temple.
“So that would be…” Alex started, pointing off into the distance.
“The top.” Brandon finished.
“And to get there we need to go…” Alex traced his finger up the mountainside.
“Up the slippery slope.”
“I figured.” Alex paused. “It looks familiar.”
“You’ve been there before. We both have.”
“I think I miss it.”
“Me too.”
“We should get going then.”
With a nod, Brandon Monkey and Alex headed to the foot of the slippery slope. Their path along the final stretch of the road was unimpeded and it wasn’t long before they stood at the foot of the mountain, ready to begin their final ascent. They were about to start climbing when a voice called out from the undergrowth.
“Hey, is someone out there?”
The two of them, paused, looking first at one another, then all around them. Unable to see anything straight away they bent down to sift through the patches of long grass and low bushes that formed the edge of the tree line. It didn’t take Alex long to find the source of the voice. Pushing aside a tall clump of grass he revealed a bowling ball, almost perfectly white and entirely smooth with a soft shine. However, where one would normally expect to find finger holes were a pair of eyes, a nose and mouth and finally a patch of hair which somehow seemed to have actually grown from the ball.
“Oh finally. I didn’t think anyone was going to catch up to me.” the ball said.
“Um…Moss?”
“Well yeah, who else is it going to be?”
By this point Brandon had realised the source had been found and scampered over to look, taking a seat on Alex’s shoulder as he crouched down to speak.
“How did you get here?”
Moss glanced out of the side of his eyes, back the way they’d come. “Well I managed to get a rolling start and I managed to roll through the rocky road pretty easily. But, then I kind of ran out of momentum and now I’m stuck.”
“I see where this is going.” Brandon whispered in Alex’s ear.
Alex nodded gently as Moss continued. “I don’t suppose you guys could-”
“Carry you?”
“If you don’t mind. I won’t be too much of a burden.” Moss added hopefully.
Alex sighed, “Ok, but just for a little while.”
And so Alex hefted Moss up, wrapped him in a large cloth and slung him across his back before the three of them made their way up the slippery slope.
It was a tough climb. The rain and winds battered their bodies with every step. More than once a wet rock or a mud slide would send them slipping down an edge, only for them to desperately grasp back on to a hand hold and steady themselves. Near the top they were stalled by a wide glass overhang, too wide to go around and too deep to climb over and they had been forced to break through it. Through it all though they had persevered and now they stood together at the top. The sun beat down on them, drying their bodies, the heat easing the aches in their joints and muscles. Somehow it made it all worthwhile. Together, without a word, they headed inside.
What met them was not quite what they expected. Inside the great temple at the top of the mountain was a head. The biggest head anyone had ever seen. If a body had ever been attached it had long since been absorbed into the heads expansive form. Long greasy hair flowed off all around and a mass of facial hair covered it’s chin. Great dark aviators shielded it’s eyes. As the heroes approached, it’s voice boomed.
“Why do you disturb the Blessed Head!?”
“We wanted to be at the top.” Alex replied confidently.
“There is only room for one at the top! Guards! Seize them!”
From the shadows in the edge of the chamber Tweedle-Drunk and Tweedle-Drunker emerged, stumbling and staggering into view, each still bearing the scars of their previous encounters with Brandon and Alex, Savana’s face covered in tiny scars and Declan’s chin now being placed somewhere around his right ear.
“What’re you two doing up here?” Brandon asked.
“The Blessed Head knew you were coming so he dragged us up here to watch his back Nigga.” Declan replied.
As the two of them loomed up on the trio Alex surveyed the situation. Surely the two together would be more formidable then apart, if only slightly. He weighed Moss the bowling ball in his hand and looked between the drunks and the Blessed Head.
“Sorry Moss, time for you to do me a favour. Keep him busy for us.” Alex said apologetically before hurling Moss straight at the head. The two spheres fell out of the air, rolling and clattering against one another, neither able to gain a clear advantage. The main threat neutralised for now, Alex and Brandon charged and-
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The TV was still on, now showing an old repeat of a long since cancelled sitcom that Alex had no love for the first time around. On the couch next to him were the remains of a half eaten sandwich. He rubbed his eyes, clearing the thin filmy haze from them and bringing the world back into focus.
“Well that was fucked up.” he muttered to himself. “I guess the whole cheese before bed thing is true.”
He got to his feet, taking the last of the sandwich with him to throw in the bin before heading to the shower. It wasn’t going to feel like long before he was back on a plane to L.A. and he had a lot of preparing to do before then. Something told him this week he may just have a challenge ahead, one which, if he overcame it, could lead him right back to the top.