Post by brandonbrown on Aug 19, 2009 23:40:39 GMT -5
(The scene opens at the Brown House once again. Brandon looks to be really excited.)
Brandon: I FINALLY GET TO MAIN EVENT AGAIN!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Banky, I’m main eventing this week. This is the first time in ages that I’ve main evented. The bookers finally got something right. Soon they’ll be giving me a shot at the Undisputed Unified Global Impact Wrestling Global Heavyweight Championship of the World. I can’t wait.
Banky: You fucking shot me last week.
Brandon: Get over it. That was last week. It’s a brand new week. You act like something bad happens to you every week.
Banky: Something bad does always happen to me every week. I’ve been in a car crash, you pulled a knife on me, and you fucking shot me.
Brandon: This is all preparation for when you make your wrestling debut.
Banky: You finally filled out my form?
Brandon: Fuck no. I already told you that you would get killed off in episode 100. There is no point in me signing you up.
Banky: Shut up about that bullshit. Your time machine doesn’t work. If I got in it, turned the flux capacitor on, and went 88 mph then nothing would happen. I would probably just crash.
Brandon: That’s cause you’re not thinking fourth dimensionally.
Banky: That’s it. I’m moving back home. I can get better help training elsewhere. Maybe Big B will train me.
Brandon: No, that’s not a very good idea. That’s what helps lead to your accident in the future.
Banky: What?
Brandon: I’ve said too much already. No man should know too much about their own future.
Banky: Enough with the Back to the Future bullshit. How about you watch a real movie like Citizen Kane?
Brandon: I saw See No Evil, there’s no way I’m watching another Kane movie.
Banky: Unbelievable. You know all these movies but you don’t know the movie that most critics claim to be the greatest of all time.
Brandon: What are you talking about? I’ve seen The Dark Knight hundreds of times.
Banky: Not that.
Brandon: What? I know it lacks the Liam Neeson presence from Batman Begins but it’s still the best movie. Liam is pretty badass by the way. Have you seen Taken? That movie is all kinds of awesome. It’s a shame The Phantom Menace sucked so hard. I blame that on the kid that played Anakin though and Jar Jar. Ever notice that kid that played Anakin was in Jingle All The Way with Arnold Schwarzenegger. My favorite Arnold movies would have to be the Terminator movies. I remember the T-1000 in T2 was in that stupid John Cena movie and they made a dumb Terminator joke in it.
Banky: SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. Enough random movie knowledge. We’re talking about the greatest movie of all time here. Citizen Fucking Kane.
Brandon: So this is a porno starring Kane. I can’t decide if that’s better or worse than him killing people.
Banky: No, it’s a movie starring Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane.
Brandon: Oh. Who is Orson Welles?
Banky: He was a famous film director, actor, writer, and producer. He even died the same day as Yul Brynner.
Brandon: Who?
Banky: You don’t know who he is either. I bet you know the guy who played Obi Wan in Star Wars.
Brandon: Alec Guinness in the originals and Ewan McGregor in the prequels.
Banky: Figures. Do you not watch old black and white movies?
Brandon: Nope, I hate them. I only watch them if they have Jimmy Stewart or Grace Kelly.
Banky: You know what. Since you made me watch the Rocky movies last week, I’ll make you watch Citizen Kane.
Brandon: No deal. I haven’t finished The Best of GIW: Year One yet. I’m right in the middle of my match with Brandon McSkinny.
Banky: It’s a four second match. You stopped it in the middle of a pinfall.
Brandon: Yeah, to build up the suspense. I don’t know what will happen.
Banky: You beat him. The match ends.
Brandon: Well, maybe this time he will kick out.
Banky: He’ll never kick out.
Brandon: Did I mention I was in the main event this week?
Banky: Yes, I just want to watch Citizen Kane now.
Brandon: Okay. We’ll have it your way. I think Travis Roberts once did a promo called Citizen Penguin.
Banky: What?
(Banky puts in Citizen Kane.)
Brandon: This movie better be good.
Banky: It’s the best ever.
(Title comes on the screen.)
Brandon: BORING!
(That part about Rosebud comes on the screen. I don’t know. I’ve never fucking seen Citizen Kane.)
Brandon: BORING!
(Brandon does that through the whole movie which sends Banky off the deep end.)
Banky: SHUT THE FUCK UP! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME AND YOU RUINED IT. IT’S NOT FUCKING BORING. IT’S GREAT.
Brandon: BORING!
(Banky storms out the room.)
Brandon: Sweet.
(Brandon switches it back over to The Best of GIW: Year One.)
Brandon: KICK OUT SKINNY! KICK OUT! Ah, damn. Maybe next time. Those were the days though. Brandon McSkinny was around. I main evented every week and every PPV. I loved that shit. I can’t believe I’m finally back in the main event though. It’s time for me to shine through once again. I will show them once again why I’m a former 2 time Global Champ.
(Brandon walks over to his GIW Tag Belt.)
Brandon: This right here proves why I belong in the main event. I’m going to team with Alex and Moss and we’re going to destroy those drunks and that piece of crap champion we got. All it will take is
(Banky runs into the room with a baseball bat and Brandon Superkicks him.)
Brandon: One Superkick to put them down.
(The End.)
Brandon: I FINALLY GET TO MAIN EVENT AGAIN!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Banky, I’m main eventing this week. This is the first time in ages that I’ve main evented. The bookers finally got something right. Soon they’ll be giving me a shot at the Undisputed Unified Global Impact Wrestling Global Heavyweight Championship of the World. I can’t wait.
Banky: You fucking shot me last week.
Brandon: Get over it. That was last week. It’s a brand new week. You act like something bad happens to you every week.
Banky: Something bad does always happen to me every week. I’ve been in a car crash, you pulled a knife on me, and you fucking shot me.
Brandon: This is all preparation for when you make your wrestling debut.
Banky: You finally filled out my form?
Brandon: Fuck no. I already told you that you would get killed off in episode 100. There is no point in me signing you up.
Banky: Shut up about that bullshit. Your time machine doesn’t work. If I got in it, turned the flux capacitor on, and went 88 mph then nothing would happen. I would probably just crash.
Brandon: That’s cause you’re not thinking fourth dimensionally.
Banky: That’s it. I’m moving back home. I can get better help training elsewhere. Maybe Big B will train me.
Brandon: No, that’s not a very good idea. That’s what helps lead to your accident in the future.
Banky: What?
Brandon: I’ve said too much already. No man should know too much about their own future.
Banky: Enough with the Back to the Future bullshit. How about you watch a real movie like Citizen Kane?
Brandon: I saw See No Evil, there’s no way I’m watching another Kane movie.
Banky: Unbelievable. You know all these movies but you don’t know the movie that most critics claim to be the greatest of all time.
Brandon: What are you talking about? I’ve seen The Dark Knight hundreds of times.
Banky: Not that.
Brandon: What? I know it lacks the Liam Neeson presence from Batman Begins but it’s still the best movie. Liam is pretty badass by the way. Have you seen Taken? That movie is all kinds of awesome. It’s a shame The Phantom Menace sucked so hard. I blame that on the kid that played Anakin though and Jar Jar. Ever notice that kid that played Anakin was in Jingle All The Way with Arnold Schwarzenegger. My favorite Arnold movies would have to be the Terminator movies. I remember the T-1000 in T2 was in that stupid John Cena movie and they made a dumb Terminator joke in it.
Banky: SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. Enough random movie knowledge. We’re talking about the greatest movie of all time here. Citizen Fucking Kane.
Brandon: So this is a porno starring Kane. I can’t decide if that’s better or worse than him killing people.
Banky: No, it’s a movie starring Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane.
Brandon: Oh. Who is Orson Welles?
Banky: He was a famous film director, actor, writer, and producer. He even died the same day as Yul Brynner.
Brandon: Who?
Banky: You don’t know who he is either. I bet you know the guy who played Obi Wan in Star Wars.
Brandon: Alec Guinness in the originals and Ewan McGregor in the prequels.
Banky: Figures. Do you not watch old black and white movies?
Brandon: Nope, I hate them. I only watch them if they have Jimmy Stewart or Grace Kelly.
Banky: You know what. Since you made me watch the Rocky movies last week, I’ll make you watch Citizen Kane.
Brandon: No deal. I haven’t finished The Best of GIW: Year One yet. I’m right in the middle of my match with Brandon McSkinny.
Banky: It’s a four second match. You stopped it in the middle of a pinfall.
Brandon: Yeah, to build up the suspense. I don’t know what will happen.
Banky: You beat him. The match ends.
Brandon: Well, maybe this time he will kick out.
Banky: He’ll never kick out.
Brandon: Did I mention I was in the main event this week?
Banky: Yes, I just want to watch Citizen Kane now.
Brandon: Okay. We’ll have it your way. I think Travis Roberts once did a promo called Citizen Penguin.
Banky: What?
(Banky puts in Citizen Kane.)
Brandon: This movie better be good.
Banky: It’s the best ever.
(Title comes on the screen.)
Brandon: BORING!
(That part about Rosebud comes on the screen. I don’t know. I’ve never fucking seen Citizen Kane.)
Brandon: BORING!
(Brandon does that through the whole movie which sends Banky off the deep end.)
Banky: SHUT THE FUCK UP! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME AND YOU RUINED IT. IT’S NOT FUCKING BORING. IT’S GREAT.
Brandon: BORING!
(Banky storms out the room.)
Brandon: Sweet.
(Brandon switches it back over to The Best of GIW: Year One.)
Brandon: KICK OUT SKINNY! KICK OUT! Ah, damn. Maybe next time. Those were the days though. Brandon McSkinny was around. I main evented every week and every PPV. I loved that shit. I can’t believe I’m finally back in the main event though. It’s time for me to shine through once again. I will show them once again why I’m a former 2 time Global Champ.
(Brandon walks over to his GIW Tag Belt.)
Brandon: This right here proves why I belong in the main event. I’m going to team with Alex and Moss and we’re going to destroy those drunks and that piece of crap champion we got. All it will take is
(Banky runs into the room with a baseball bat and Brandon Superkicks him.)
Brandon: One Superkick to put them down.
(The End.)
x2
