WWE Fastlane PPV

[Killian King]

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

WWE United States Title Match:
Rusev vs. John Cena

WWE Intercontinental Title Matc:h
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett

Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Kane, Big Show and Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd

Goldust vs. Stardust

WWE Divas Title Match:
Nikki Bella vs. Paige

Thoughts and Predictions

[DrunkenBuzzsaw]

I just remembered that I can watch the WWE Network through the XBox One. No more being relegated to watching on a small-assed tablet for this guy. Score!

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan
Want: Reigns to turn heel and crush Daniel Bryan
Prediction: Either Bryan wins, or Brock interferes and makes the Mania match a threeway. Any ending that doesn't include Bryan fighting for the title next month may lead to a riot. Or another #CancelWWENetwork movement.

WWE United States Title Match:
Rusev vs. John Cena
Want: Kurt Angle to interfere and apply the ankle lock on both of them. Simultaneously
Prediction: Rusev, because Cena winning the IC Title means he's not front and center in the World Title picture for an extended period of time. And God knows we can't have that.

WWE Intercontinental Title Matc:h
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Want: BNB
Prediction: Ambrose, and then we get to hear the term "Lunatic Fringe" even more. Sigh...


Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Kane, Big Show and Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins
Want: Rowan to realize hes better with Harper, and leave the other two fuckers to be decimated
Prediction: Ziggler is full-on raped in the ring, and yet still somehow wins. And then we hear how he just wont quit, blahblahblah

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd
Want: Cesaro and Kidd
Prediction: The Usos, so they can be someone relevant when they induct their fat-ass father into the HOF.

Goldust vs. Stardust
Want: The match to just be a promo competition
Prediction: Stardust, because the toon is awesome, and the Goldust character is played out

WWE Divas Title Match:
Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Want: Clothes to fall off
Prediction: No clothes fall off; Charlotte appears and costs Paige the title

[Holden Orson]

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan 
Prediction: RR GO TO WRESTLE MANIA. RR WIN TITLE. IN WWE THE BIG GUY AK WAYS WINS. MUSCLES.
Want: I don't really want either of them in the main event. Hate Cena all you want but he's way better in the ring than reigns and isn't running an underdog story and a ugly beard to success. Rollins has proven to be phenomenal. This could a been a spot for a Miz or a Kingston or a Swagger to shake things up. WWE is too married to the former shield, cena, Bryant routine. Ziggler! That's who should beat lesnar.


WWE United States Title Match:
Rusev vs. John Cena 
Prediction: cena becomes champ
Want: Cena to become champ. I think it'll do wonders for ruse to have a rematch with Cena at WM and win. It'll add some prestige to this second teir title as well. When your 16 world champ becomes the US champ, it seems real legit. Also Cena breaking away from lesnar and the world title is refreshing


WWE Intercontinental Title Match
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Prediction: the lunatic fringes and gets disqualified. Then his music, which sounds like a car revving for some reason plays.
Want: BnB to get injured and stay injured. Ambrose to get a hair cut and stop trying to act crazy just because he's smaller. You ever seen the fucker on the WWE originals from the network? Fucker is hilarious. Could be the next Jericho if he's stop wearing cowboy jeans with his emotions haircut.


Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Kane, Big Show and Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins 
prediction: Sting comes out, does extremely little, we all take off our pants and start stroking because e it's got darn sting.
want: to take off my pants because sting is there.

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd 
predictions: b to complain for 5 minutes before, 5 minutes after, and although out the match that he hates the Usos. The reason why is that they wrestle too much and do a bad haka?
Want: I like kidd and cesaro. I want them to have a good heel run.


Goldust vs. Stardust
Predictions: these two get jammed into about four minutes of airtime because some stupid game promo eats their time.
Want: a one hour broadway. 30 minutes wrestling, 30 minutes shit talking.

WWE Divas Title Match:
Nikki Bella vs. Paige 
Prediction: I pee for the entirety of the match.
Want: Miz and Mizdow is this spot.





Super bold prediction: Bray Wyatt joins Triple H and attacks sting. STING VS WYATT AT MANIA. NOT 190 YEAR OLD TAKER. MY PANTS COME OFF.

[Dave Rydell]

i could care less aside from the Ambrose and Barrett match. I am a huge BNB fan, so if he retains I'd be happy but I also enjoy Ambrose in the ring. He's funny to watch and he is due for a push. So I will predict BNB keeping the belt tonight and Ambrose going to 'Mania and winning it.

However I won't be watching this. I'll be watching walking dead. WWE Fastlane and all other PPV's should be renamed WWE Disappointment 1-12. That's all it is anymore. I have the network to relive the good old days where JR blurted out everything under the son just to call things a "car wreck"

Enjoy your burrito.

['The Cyclone' JK]

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan
Think: Tie somehow, gotta appease the IWC after all.
Want: Reigns. Say what you want about him, he won the fucking Rumble. It sets bad precedence if he loses the shot at the next pay per view because a few arsehole fans didn't get what they wanted.
Prediction: Brrrroooocccckkkk llllleeeesssssnnnnaaaarrrr gets involved, match ends in a double DQ/count out

WWE United States Title Match:
Rusev vs. John Cena
Think: Cena
Want: Russev. I don't mind Cena as a wrestler. I agree his Character is a little cookie-cutter, but that's as far as my disinterest in him goes. That said, WWE have a good thing going with Russev and his undefeated streak. I say they should keep it going till Mania 32, and then finally have Russev drop the belt to someone of the same Main Event status as Cena. Win, win situation there.
Predict: Super Cena to kick out at two

WWE Intercontinental Title Match
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Think: Ambrose
Want: Ambrose
Prediction: Solomon Crowe interjects somehow

Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Kane, Big Show and Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins
Think: Drink Break
Want: A bottle of Hoffbrau
Prediction: hopefully the beer is cold by then.

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd
Think: Usos
Want: Don't care.
Prediction: Usos to win in a ten minute squash. There goes Cesaro's latest push.

Goldust vs. Stardust
Think: Don't care
Want: Don't care
Prediction: Somehow the commentators will try to play it up as a big match, it's not. They know it, we know it.

WWE Divas Title Match:
Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Think: Another two minute Divas Match, ho!
Want: Paige...oh, you mean who do I want to win? Still Paige.
Prediction: another Divas match which could have potential, but will no doubt be hindered by a short time allowance.

[Eden Morgan]

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan
Want- Roman Reigns. Duh.
Predict- some bullshit finish that allows Daniel Bryan into yet another thing he shouldn't be in. And by that I mean Wrestlemania will be. 3-way

WWE United States Title Match:
Rusev vs. John Cena
Want: Cena
Predict- Rusev. He won't lose that title, no matter how much he sucks, until Wrestlemania


WWE Intercontinental Title Matc:h
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Want: I'm truly 50/50 on this. Love both of them. I'll be happy either way.
Predict: a fantastic match

Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Kane, Big Show and Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins
Want: Seth Rollins wins it all by pinning all these fuckers
Predict: Ziggler somehow pulls it off even after a house lands on him in the ring. No I wasn't referring to Big Show, I meant a literal fucking house.

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd
Want: Cesaro and Kidd. PLEASE!!
Predict: I wish I could say that I see them ^ winning, but I don't and it makes me sad. I have no issues with the Uso's other than I'm ready to see someone new and I'd LOVE for Kidd and Cesaro to get a push.

Goldust vs. Stardust
Want: This match to go the fuck away. Bring back Cody Rhodes!
Predict: I don't even care enough.

WWE Divas Title Match:
Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Want: Nikki Bella
Predict: Paige. Nikki's been putting her through too much hell to retain.

[Lord Hastings]

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan
Want: Actually somewhat indifferent, to be honest.
Predict: Non-finish that sets up triple threat.

WWE United States Title Match:
Rusev vs. John Cena
Want: Rusev
Predict: Rusev gets DQed

WWE Intercontinental Title Matc:h
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Want: Ambrose
Predict: Ambrose

Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Kane, Big Show and Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins
Want: It really doesn't matter.
Predict: Rollins pins Rowan

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd
Want: Indifferent
Predict: Usos

Goldust vs. Stardust
Wanted: This to happen at Wrestlemania
Predict: Stardust

WWE Divas Title Match:
Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Want: Paige
Predict: Nikki

And I'm actually intrigued by the idea of Sting/Wyatt, but only if Bray wins, which he probably wouldn't.

Expected Wrestlemania Card:

World: Brock v Reigns v Bryan
US: Rusev v Cena
Triple H v Sting
Orton v Rollins
Taker v Wyatt
Diva Mess
Andre Battle Royal: To be won by Sheamus
Preshow: Miz v Mizdow

[>V<]

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan wins, or motherfuckers riot.

WWE United States Title Match:
Rusev vs. John Cena
Cena winz, lol

WWE Intercontinental Title Match:
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
BNB, to set up the rematch at 'Mania

Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Kane, Big Show and Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins
RANDY MOTHERFUCKING ORTON happens, to set up the grudge match with Seth at 'Mania.

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd
Cesaro and Kidd, as the hottest tag team in WWE today. Fact!

Goldust vs. Stardust
An inconclusive finish, to set up a rematch at 'Mania for Goldy's retirement match. Sad Panda.

WWE Divas Title Match:
Nikki Bella vs. Paige
Paige, so we're all winners. She's fucking delightful.

[Seito Risa]

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

Roman Reigns. Because who in the hell has been paying attention to what the WWE Looniverse really wants when it comes to the writers? Hmm?!?!

WWE United States Title Match:
Rusev vs. John Cena

Rusev retains. I say this for two reasons. One, Cena is being recycled for a short term until Brock decides if he wants to renew his contract after WM. Also Hogan has said he wants one more match. And for that match he wants John Cena. Cena-Hogan at WrestleMania

WWE Intercontinental Title Matc:h
Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett

Love the push Barrett has gotten, however they really need to do something to raise Ambrose or he will be lost in a cloud of midcardishness forever. WWE does usually waist that kind of talent, but this time I don't think so.

Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Kane, Big Show and Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins

Frankly, this looks like a good match to go down to the store for a gallon of Rocky Road or maybe Tin Roof Sundae. Buncha big slow guys, some greasy douchebag (though he does make a great heel) and a former member of the Spirit Squad. Probably see a win for the Rebel Alliance here.

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
The Usos vs. Cesaro and Tyson Kidd

Cesaro and Kidd. Also, Natalya will finally get the heck away from Kidd (or maybe that's Vice Versa?) And will end up taking up with Mizdow

Goldust vs. Stardust

Dusty comes to the ring and "getth all up in dey bidnith". Stardust wins, leaving Goldy and Dusty flat on the mat. Stardust goes back to Cody. In a stunning turn of events, Goldy reverts to Dustin and the feud continues.

WWE Divas Title Match:
Nikki Bella vs. Paige

Nikki beats Paige. When the Twins start a post match beatdown on Paige, Charlotte, having dropped the NXT strap, makes a run in to save Paige. The feud continues between The Sisters Bella and The Sisters Pale. Nikki loses the strap to Charlotte at WM in a three-way dance which also includes Paige.

Brey Wyatt's recent commentary turns out to have been aimed at.......

STARDUST!!! Cody becomes the first new member of the New Wyatt Family.

[Harley Addams]

*fan girl swirl, passes out cold*

[>V<]

So, I went 4 for 7 in my predictions.



Fuck you, Ziggy!

[Killian King]

So let's talk about after thoughts... (Spoilers)

[Dave Rydell]

Walking dead was pretty good.

[>V<]

I thought it was interesting that the match of the night was the tag straps. Tysaro (I just came up with that. Fact!) are talented enough that they carried those dreadful spawns of Rikishi to a hell of a show. The superplex off the ring apron followed by a slingshot elbow drop was pure wrestling majesty. All hail the champions, long shall they reign. Fact!

Whoever wrote the review on Bleacher Report, their description of Orton's long awaited return, said he was "handing out RKOs like they were Halloween candy," I thought that was pretty apt. The crowd should have pulled an ECW and chanted "welcome back!"

[Killian King]

Had it been NXT I'm pretty sure that's how it would have gone down.