Post by brandonbrown on Sept 24, 2009 14:27:27 GMT -5
(Brandon Brown is in Djibouti. He is looking for Banky.)
Brandon: Banky has to be in Djibouti. Who wouldn’t want to be in Djibouti? I have to find Banky though. I need him if I want to defend my tag title on Sentinel. Speaking of GIW, we really need to do a pay per view in Djibouti. I’m not sure where we would do it. There’s not much here. I guess we could just build a ring outside and then wrestle. Maybe I could just ask some local Djiboutians to build a ring for us. Maybe I should just ask them if they’ve seen Banky.
(Brandon sees a local Djiboutian.)
Brandon: Djiboutian, have you seen this man?
Djiboutian: That’s Chuck Norris.
Brandon: Sorry, wrong picture. This guy.
Djiboutian: Is that Banky?
Brandon: You’ve seen him.
Djiboutian: No, I heard you talking about him earlier.
Brandon: I though Djiboutians only spoke Arabic and French.
Djiboutian: They do but it’s more convenient to the plot if I speak English.
Brandon: Good thinking. So where do you think somebody like Banky would be?
Djiboutian: Didn’t you send him to North Korea?
Brandon: Good point. I forgot about that. How did you know that?
Djiboutian: I have friends who watch your show. Djibouti is one of seven countries that actually get The Brown Show.
Brandon: Good, we’re making it somewhere. So which way is this North Korea?
Djiboutian: North?
Brandon: Right. That’s why it’s in the name. So which way is North?
Djiboutian: I don’t know.
Brandon: I guess it doesn’t matter. If I go south, I can still end up there. I just have to go around the Earth.
Djiboutian: What if you accidentally go East or West?
Brandon: Then I’ll see you back in Djibouti and I’ll go the way that’s not East or West.
Djiboutian: Isn’t this going to take you a long time without an airplane.
Brandon: This is my TV show. I can just do a nice cutaway and I’m there. Like now.
(We cut away and Brandon is standing on the other side of the Djiboutian now.)
Brandon: Apparently I went East or West.
Djiboutian: Yes.
Brandon: So I guess it’s that way.
Djiboutian: I guess so.
Brandon: It’s cutaway time again.
(They cut away again and Brandon is back in Djibouti.)
Brandon: I couldn’t find North Korea.
Djiboutian: I did some research while you were gone. Here’s a map.
(The Djiboutian shows him the map.)
Brandon: Oh, I guess I should have used a map earlier. Thanks, Djiboutian. Time to cutaway again.
(Brandon is now in North Korea.)
Brandon: I have a bad feeling about this place.
North Korean: You American. You must be prisoner.
Brandon: Shouldn’t you speak Korean?
North Korean: This is convenient to the plot.
Brandon: As always. So why do I have to be a prisoner?
North Korean: We like taking Americans prisoner so Bill Clinton can come and bail them out.
Brandon: Bill Clinton is coming here. Awesome. When?
North Korean: He will only come if we take you hostage.
Brandon: I’m all for that.
(The North Korean throws Brandon in North Korea jail.)
Brandon: You here to see Bill Clinton.
Inmate: I’m here because they captured me and they are holding me for a hefty ransom. They told me they probably would kill me anyway.
Brandon: Sucks to be you. Do I know you? I think I dated your sister in high school.
Inmate: Were you the guy who gave her AIDS?
Brandon: No, that wasn’t me.
Inmate: I knew that anyway since I gave her AIDS.
Brandon: Blood transfusion.
Inmate: I had sex with her.
Brandon: Right. Hold on a second. I have to talk to that North Korean guard over there.
(Brandon walks over to North Korean.)
Brandon: That inmate over there just said bad things about your leader and he said he would give your leader AIDS.
North Korean: We must kill him then.
Brandon: That’s what I figured. Get to it.
(Ten Korean guys jump in the room and kill the inmate.)
Brandon: Anybody who gives AIDS to their sister should be killed so I don’t feel bad about that. You know, I dated his cousin. I guess I should look for Banky while he is in here. Banky, are you in here.
Banky: Yes.
Brandon: That was simple. What are you in here for?
Banky: Some idiot sent me in here to steal nuclear weapons.
Brandon: How did you do?
Banky: I don’t know. I’m in jail and sentenced to death. How do you think I did?
Brandon: Bad. Do you still get to see Bill Clinton?
Banky: I don’t know.
Brandon: I hope I get out of here soon. I have to defend my tag belts this week.
Banky: Against who?
Brandon: Blessed Idiots. Roberts and Hastings. I’m not worried. Those guys suck.
Banky: Twenty bucks say you lose.
Brandon: Deal.
Banky: How long do we have to wait for Bill Clinton?
Brandon: I don’t know. Korean guy, how long until Bill gets here?
North Korean: Right now.
(Bill Clinton walks into the room.)
Brandon: We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.
Bill Clinton: Thank you. I love North Korea. I love those Korean women I get to have sex with.
Brandon: That’s what makes Bill great right there. Get us out of here Bill.
Bill Clinton: Alright. North Korean guy, let these Americans go.
North Korean: Okay, Bill Clinton.
(Bill takes Brandon and Banky back to Djibouti.)
Banky: Why are we in Djibouti?
Bill: Everybody loves Djibouti.
Brandon: Bill, you going to watch me and Alex Kiseragi retain our tag titles this week on GIW.
Bill: I got 50 bucks on the other team.
Brandon: Deal.
Djiboutian: You found Banky and you brought Bill Clinton. You are awesome, Brandon.
Brandon: Thank you.
(Brandon Superkicks the Djiboutian.)
Brandon: What? I haven’t done that in awhile.
Brandon: Banky has to be in Djibouti. Who wouldn’t want to be in Djibouti? I have to find Banky though. I need him if I want to defend my tag title on Sentinel. Speaking of GIW, we really need to do a pay per view in Djibouti. I’m not sure where we would do it. There’s not much here. I guess we could just build a ring outside and then wrestle. Maybe I could just ask some local Djiboutians to build a ring for us. Maybe I should just ask them if they’ve seen Banky.
(Brandon sees a local Djiboutian.)
Brandon: Djiboutian, have you seen this man?
Djiboutian: That’s Chuck Norris.
Brandon: Sorry, wrong picture. This guy.
Djiboutian: Is that Banky?
Brandon: You’ve seen him.
Djiboutian: No, I heard you talking about him earlier.
Brandon: I though Djiboutians only spoke Arabic and French.
Djiboutian: They do but it’s more convenient to the plot if I speak English.
Brandon: Good thinking. So where do you think somebody like Banky would be?
Djiboutian: Didn’t you send him to North Korea?
Brandon: Good point. I forgot about that. How did you know that?
Djiboutian: I have friends who watch your show. Djibouti is one of seven countries that actually get The Brown Show.
Brandon: Good, we’re making it somewhere. So which way is this North Korea?
Djiboutian: North?
Brandon: Right. That’s why it’s in the name. So which way is North?
Djiboutian: I don’t know.
Brandon: I guess it doesn’t matter. If I go south, I can still end up there. I just have to go around the Earth.
Djiboutian: What if you accidentally go East or West?
Brandon: Then I’ll see you back in Djibouti and I’ll go the way that’s not East or West.
Djiboutian: Isn’t this going to take you a long time without an airplane.
Brandon: This is my TV show. I can just do a nice cutaway and I’m there. Like now.
(We cut away and Brandon is standing on the other side of the Djiboutian now.)
Brandon: Apparently I went East or West.
Djiboutian: Yes.
Brandon: So I guess it’s that way.
Djiboutian: I guess so.
Brandon: It’s cutaway time again.
(They cut away again and Brandon is back in Djibouti.)
Brandon: I couldn’t find North Korea.
Djiboutian: I did some research while you were gone. Here’s a map.
(The Djiboutian shows him the map.)
Brandon: Oh, I guess I should have used a map earlier. Thanks, Djiboutian. Time to cutaway again.
(Brandon is now in North Korea.)
Brandon: I have a bad feeling about this place.
North Korean: You American. You must be prisoner.
Brandon: Shouldn’t you speak Korean?
North Korean: This is convenient to the plot.
Brandon: As always. So why do I have to be a prisoner?
North Korean: We like taking Americans prisoner so Bill Clinton can come and bail them out.
Brandon: Bill Clinton is coming here. Awesome. When?
North Korean: He will only come if we take you hostage.
Brandon: I’m all for that.
(The North Korean throws Brandon in North Korea jail.)
Brandon: You here to see Bill Clinton.
Inmate: I’m here because they captured me and they are holding me for a hefty ransom. They told me they probably would kill me anyway.
Brandon: Sucks to be you. Do I know you? I think I dated your sister in high school.
Inmate: Were you the guy who gave her AIDS?
Brandon: No, that wasn’t me.
Inmate: I knew that anyway since I gave her AIDS.
Brandon: Blood transfusion.
Inmate: I had sex with her.
Brandon: Right. Hold on a second. I have to talk to that North Korean guard over there.
(Brandon walks over to North Korean.)
Brandon: That inmate over there just said bad things about your leader and he said he would give your leader AIDS.
North Korean: We must kill him then.
Brandon: That’s what I figured. Get to it.
(Ten Korean guys jump in the room and kill the inmate.)
Brandon: Anybody who gives AIDS to their sister should be killed so I don’t feel bad about that. You know, I dated his cousin. I guess I should look for Banky while he is in here. Banky, are you in here.
Banky: Yes.
Brandon: That was simple. What are you in here for?
Banky: Some idiot sent me in here to steal nuclear weapons.
Brandon: How did you do?
Banky: I don’t know. I’m in jail and sentenced to death. How do you think I did?
Brandon: Bad. Do you still get to see Bill Clinton?
Banky: I don’t know.
Brandon: I hope I get out of here soon. I have to defend my tag belts this week.
Banky: Against who?
Brandon: Blessed Idiots. Roberts and Hastings. I’m not worried. Those guys suck.
Banky: Twenty bucks say you lose.
Brandon: Deal.
Banky: How long do we have to wait for Bill Clinton?
Brandon: I don’t know. Korean guy, how long until Bill gets here?
North Korean: Right now.
(Bill Clinton walks into the room.)
Brandon: We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.
Bill Clinton: Thank you. I love North Korea. I love those Korean women I get to have sex with.
Brandon: That’s what makes Bill great right there. Get us out of here Bill.
Bill Clinton: Alright. North Korean guy, let these Americans go.
North Korean: Okay, Bill Clinton.
(Bill takes Brandon and Banky back to Djibouti.)
Banky: Why are we in Djibouti?
Bill: Everybody loves Djibouti.
Brandon: Bill, you going to watch me and Alex Kiseragi retain our tag titles this week on GIW.
Bill: I got 50 bucks on the other team.
Brandon: Deal.
Djiboutian: You found Banky and you brought Bill Clinton. You are awesome, Brandon.
Brandon: Thank you.
(Brandon Superkicks the Djiboutian.)
Brandon: What? I haven’t done that in awhile.
x2
