Post by Lord Hastings on Oct 1, 2009 20:56:17 GMT -5
Old Lady Levene sips a cup of tea in her office, reviewing some paperwork. She turns and nearly drops the cup as she sees Donovan standing in the doorway.
OLL: Oh, dear me! You really should knock or something, dear. You’ll put a scare in these old bones, you will.
Hastings: This is unacceptable.
OLL: That’s what I’m saying, dear!
Hastings: Then why do you let it stand!?!?!?!
OLL: I shouldn’t!
Hastings: Good!
OLL: So get out and come in again!
Hastings: Wait, what?
OLL: Well, what do you mean, dear?
Hastings: I just need to understand what is going on here. Blessed Immortality has their big moment, ready to win the Tag Team Championship, as is our destiny, only for Raenius to intervene, robbing us of our glory, and what happens to him? He gets a GIW.com title shot?
OLL: He shouldn’t?
Hastings: No! Can you imagine the repercussions if that were to occur? You can’t have some fool running around in a Halloween mask representing the internet! It’s like making a statement that the internet is full of creepy freaks that stalk people! Do you want people to mistake us for some backwater message board?
OLL: Well, you certainly do make a good point there.
Hastings: Oh, and I’m not done yet. NiggaUno!
Owen Peterson saunters in behind Donovan.
Peterson: Yes, Lord-Chief.
Hastings: Now, on Sentinel this fine, upstanding gentleman, was assigned to referee the main event. It was a marquee moment in his career, a turning point, something he could be proud of. And what happened? It was stolen from him.
OLL: Stolen?
Hastings: What business did Glenn Burke have in interfering? A referee is not meant to decide the outcomes of matches, surely you agree.
OLL: I have to say, I think that’s their job.
Calypso walks in, sliding her cell phone back into her pocket. Owen eyes her cautiously.
Hastings: Oh, semantics. They shouldn’t have a direct role or cause in the outcome, is what I mean, of course. Owen here was calling a wonderful classic, surely would have rated at least seven stars on the five star scale, and Burke interferes and ruins it all. Who does guy think he is? He can just butt in on whatever match he wants? Absolute power corrupts, absolutely. We’ve got to get this guy in check.
OLL: What do you suggest?
Calypso: Singles match, Glenn Burke versus Owen Peterson.
Peterson: What?
Calypso: You ARE undefeated.
Peterson: I beat HIM!
Owen points at Donovan.
Hastings: Okay, watch yourself, there.
Peterson: Sorry. It’s only because of what she did, you’d have crushed me otherwise, I’m sure.
Hastings: Seriously, shut the fuck up.
OLL: Language!
Hastings: Right. Sorry.
OLL: We might have to do that, though. After all, we can’t allow these dastardly acts to continue! I’ll jot it down for a future card.
Peterson: And it’ll be a Peterson REALLY Sucks Match, I’m sure.
Hastings: Don’t you know the first rule of holes?
Peterson: The first rule of holes?
Hastings: Stop digging.
Peterson: Mommy…
Hastings: Mummy.
Peterson: What?
Hastings: Right. The core of this matter is that Glenn Burke hardly bears the bulk of the responsibility. He was brought to the ring by the Dark Rose himself.
Calypso: The Dark Rose?
Hastings: Yeah.
Calypso: She hasn’t been back since I put her on the shelf.
Hastings: She?
Peterson: Who?
Hastings: Look, it’s not proper to talk about mum here like that in her presence.
Calypso: What?
Hastings: You said she. She’s the only she here.
Calypso: Chassie Fear.
Hastings: What about her?
Calypso: I put her on the shelf.
Hastings: So?
Calypso: Chassie Fear is the Dark Rose.
Hastings: Really? Fuck.
OLL: I’m still here.
Hastings: Oh, go wank one to Kiseragi, won’t you?
OLL: Mmm…Jackie Chan…
Hastings: Right, then I meant to say, the Head Trip.
Peterson: That’s Mickey Dragon.
Hastings: Bitches! What does Raenius go by?
Peterson: The Resident Evil.
OLL: I feel so much better, dear, thanks for the suggestion.
Calypso covers her mouth and runs out.
Hastings: Raenius brings down Glenn Burke to interfere in our match, and he’s rewarded with a title shot. Where’s the justice in that?
OLL: I suppose I’ll have to trust you to supply some.
Donovan tilts his head slightly, and smiles.
Hastings: Yes, I suppose you can. You’ll have to excuse us, mum.
OLL: Oh, of course, dear. And do wish good luck for next week to that lovely Calypso. Remember, I expect you and Travis to accompany her for her match against this Lilith girl.
Hastings: She’s got a match with a succubus?
OLL: Oh, let me tell you who I’d like to su-
Peterson: Perhaps we should go, Lord-Chief.
Donovan nods, and turns to leave.
Hastings: Mum.
Donovan and Owen leave. Old Lady Levene goes to her desk and pulls out a picture of a shirtless Alex Kiseragi. She takes a handkerchief from her pocket and wipes a spot of drool from the corner of her mouth.
OLL: Oh, dear me! You really should knock or something, dear. You’ll put a scare in these old bones, you will.
Hastings: This is unacceptable.
OLL: That’s what I’m saying, dear!
Hastings: Then why do you let it stand!?!?!?!
OLL: I shouldn’t!
Hastings: Good!
OLL: So get out and come in again!
Hastings: Wait, what?
OLL: Well, what do you mean, dear?
Hastings: I just need to understand what is going on here. Blessed Immortality has their big moment, ready to win the Tag Team Championship, as is our destiny, only for Raenius to intervene, robbing us of our glory, and what happens to him? He gets a GIW.com title shot?
OLL: He shouldn’t?
Hastings: No! Can you imagine the repercussions if that were to occur? You can’t have some fool running around in a Halloween mask representing the internet! It’s like making a statement that the internet is full of creepy freaks that stalk people! Do you want people to mistake us for some backwater message board?
OLL: Well, you certainly do make a good point there.
Hastings: Oh, and I’m not done yet. NiggaUno!
Owen Peterson saunters in behind Donovan.
Peterson: Yes, Lord-Chief.
Hastings: Now, on Sentinel this fine, upstanding gentleman, was assigned to referee the main event. It was a marquee moment in his career, a turning point, something he could be proud of. And what happened? It was stolen from him.
OLL: Stolen?
Hastings: What business did Glenn Burke have in interfering? A referee is not meant to decide the outcomes of matches, surely you agree.
OLL: I have to say, I think that’s their job.
Calypso walks in, sliding her cell phone back into her pocket. Owen eyes her cautiously.
Hastings: Oh, semantics. They shouldn’t have a direct role or cause in the outcome, is what I mean, of course. Owen here was calling a wonderful classic, surely would have rated at least seven stars on the five star scale, and Burke interferes and ruins it all. Who does guy think he is? He can just butt in on whatever match he wants? Absolute power corrupts, absolutely. We’ve got to get this guy in check.
OLL: What do you suggest?
Calypso: Singles match, Glenn Burke versus Owen Peterson.
Peterson: What?
Calypso: You ARE undefeated.
Peterson: I beat HIM!
Owen points at Donovan.
Hastings: Okay, watch yourself, there.
Peterson: Sorry. It’s only because of what she did, you’d have crushed me otherwise, I’m sure.
Hastings: Seriously, shut the fuck up.
OLL: Language!
Hastings: Right. Sorry.
OLL: We might have to do that, though. After all, we can’t allow these dastardly acts to continue! I’ll jot it down for a future card.
Peterson: And it’ll be a Peterson REALLY Sucks Match, I’m sure.
Hastings: Don’t you know the first rule of holes?
Peterson: The first rule of holes?
Hastings: Stop digging.
Peterson: Mommy…
Hastings: Mummy.
Peterson: What?
Hastings: Right. The core of this matter is that Glenn Burke hardly bears the bulk of the responsibility. He was brought to the ring by the Dark Rose himself.
Calypso: The Dark Rose?
Hastings: Yeah.
Calypso: She hasn’t been back since I put her on the shelf.
Hastings: She?
Peterson: Who?
Hastings: Look, it’s not proper to talk about mum here like that in her presence.
Calypso: What?
Hastings: You said she. She’s the only she here.
Calypso: Chassie Fear.
Hastings: What about her?
Calypso: I put her on the shelf.
Hastings: So?
Calypso: Chassie Fear is the Dark Rose.
Hastings: Really? Fuck.
OLL: I’m still here.
Hastings: Oh, go wank one to Kiseragi, won’t you?
OLL: Mmm…Jackie Chan…
Hastings: Right, then I meant to say, the Head Trip.
Peterson: That’s Mickey Dragon.
Hastings: Bitches! What does Raenius go by?
Peterson: The Resident Evil.
OLL: I feel so much better, dear, thanks for the suggestion.
Calypso covers her mouth and runs out.
Hastings: Raenius brings down Glenn Burke to interfere in our match, and he’s rewarded with a title shot. Where’s the justice in that?
OLL: I suppose I’ll have to trust you to supply some.
Donovan tilts his head slightly, and smiles.
Hastings: Yes, I suppose you can. You’ll have to excuse us, mum.
OLL: Oh, of course, dear. And do wish good luck for next week to that lovely Calypso. Remember, I expect you and Travis to accompany her for her match against this Lilith girl.
Hastings: She’s got a match with a succubus?
OLL: Oh, let me tell you who I’d like to su-
Peterson: Perhaps we should go, Lord-Chief.
Donovan nods, and turns to leave.
Hastings: Mum.
Donovan and Owen leave. Old Lady Levene goes to her desk and pulls out a picture of a shirtless Alex Kiseragi. She takes a handkerchief from her pocket and wipes a spot of drool from the corner of her mouth.