Sentinel 24/5/08 RESULTS

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Hanson: Homeys and bitches, welcome to GIW Sentinel!!

Vinegar: !!!

Hanson: I told you I'd make the opening line awesome!

Vinegar: You just insulted every female fan watching!!

Hanson: Hey, everyone knows women don't watch wrestling. Anyway homeys, I'm Dan Dawg, here with Nick V! We got one ballin' episode of Sentinel coming up for y'all!!

Vinegar: Oh God...

"Monsters Of Rock" hits and the GIW arena fills with boos. Aragato, Komosube and Cara Costello emerge on the stage. The trio begin making their way down the ramp, Cara keeping sure to keep her distance from Komosube.

Dennis: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being accompanied by Komosube and Cara Costello, representing Global Domination, from Kyoto, Japan and weighing 215 pounds, Mr. Deathmatch... ARAGAAAAAAAAAAAATO!!!!!

Vinegar: Aragato set to go one-on-one with the undefeated BoolZ here. Komosube and Cara are settling themselves at ringside, while Aragato make his way inside the ring. I have to think that the Global Domination members at ringside will most certainly play a part in this match.

Hanson: How dare you, sir? You are gross. Global Domination has all the integrity in the world!

Vinegar: Since that faction was formed, I'd need both hands to count all the people they've disrespected!

Hanson: When you consider that Big B is on that list, only needing two hands is actually a compliment. Glad to see you're coming around!

"Wonder What's Next" hits and the L.A. fans begin cheering ecstatically. Randy Boolzian, a Red Bull in one hand and cigarette in the other, makes his way through the curtains. He takes a drag of the cigarette and then begins marching down the ramp.

Dennis: And the opponent, from Oceanside, California and weighing 220 pounds, The Red Bull Icon.... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRANDY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLZIAN!!!!

Vinegar: BoolZ getting inside the ring, but Travis Roberts is nowhere to be seen!

Hanson: I guess Roberts realised he doesn't want to get on GD's bad side after all. The dude is smart!

Vinegar: Well BoolZ has finished his Red Bull and smoke and the bell is ringing here. Roberts seems to have abandoned BoolZ here! AND ARAGATO KICKS OFF THE MATCH WITH A GIANT SPINNING WHEEL KICK, LEVELLING BOOLZ!

Hanson: Mr. Deathmatch doesn't waste any time and I love it!

Vinegar: BoolZ getting back up now, but Aragato quickly plants him with an AMAZING springboard DDT! Now Aragato pulling BoolZ up and whipping him to the ropes! BoolZ counters and drags Aragato into a stiff short arm clothesline! Now BoolZ heads to the ropes, as Aragato leaps back up. TWISTED STEELE TAKES MR. DEATHMATCH DOWN!!

Hanson: This action is insane! I can barely keep up!

Vinegar: But BoolZ is only just getting started! Aragato back up AND BOOLZ BLASTS HIM WITH A STANDING TUMBLE WEED! INCREDIBLE ATHLETICISM FROM THE NEWCOMER!

Hanson: This is terrible! Aragato is Mr. Deathmatch! He can't be beaten by a nobody like BoolZ!

Vinegar: Well RBI must have missed that memo, because he's taking it to Aragato right now! Mr. Deathmatch back to his feet, but BoolZ with a snap suplex!! NO! Aragato somehow lands on his feet!!! Incredible!!!

Hanson: And he takes BoolZ down with a lightning fast hurricarana!! That's what I'm talking about!

Vinegar: BoolZ quickly back up, but Aragato blasts him in the chest with a roundhouse kick! BoolZ pushed into the corner and Aragato follows up with a spinning wheel kick!!! BoolZ stumbling out of the corner and Aragato whips him to the opposite turnbuckle! NO! RBI counters and sends Aragato crashing into the opposite corner! BoolZ runs AND HITS THE NO FLY ZON - NO!!! ARAGATO EVADES AT THE LAST SECOND AND BOOLZ CRASHES AND BURNS!!!!

Hanson: Damn right he did! Aragato is DA MAN!!!

Vinegar: BoolZ groggily getting to his feet and Aragato has positioned himself on top of the turnbuckle across from RBI! ARAGATO GOES FLYING WITH THE CURTAINS AND LEVELS BOOLZ!!!! WHAT INCREDIBLE DISTANCE BY MR. DEATHMATCH?!?!

Hanson: And now he covers! Haha!

Vinegar: ONE! TW - BOOLZ WITH A HAND ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!

Hanson: Aragato doesn't look happy here! Even by his standards, I mean!

Vinegar: He isn't going to let it affect his performance though and begins pulling BoolZ to his feet. NO! BoolZ grabs holds of Mr. Deathmatch's leg, lifts him up and drops him face first into the top turnbuckle!! Aragato looking dazed and BoolZ with a kick to the gut AND LOOKING FOR A PILE DRIVER!! NO!!! CARA COSTELLO HAS GRABBED HIM BY THE ANKLE!!!

Hanson: What are you talking about?! She's trying to clean off a Red Bull stain!

Vinegar: Peterson telling Costello to back off, but the damage is done! The distraction has given Aragato enough time to flip BoolZ over his back and dump RBI head first on the canvas!

Hanson: And now he's stalking BoolZ! You know what's coming up, Nick?! THE CRASH LANDING!

Vinegar: RBI is up! Aragato charges and looks for the enziguri! NO! BoolZ catches his first leg and ducks the second!! Aragato is stuck with only one foot on the mat and BoolZ with a stiff kick underneath, bashing into Aragato's guts!!!

Hanson: Aragato has been taken down and BoolZ is making a beeline for the top rope!!

Vinegar: Aragato is back up! BOOLZ WITH THE STARGAZER!!! HE CONNECTS AND COVERS!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! IT'S OVER!! BOOLZ HAS DONE IT!!!!

Dennis: Your winner... RRRRRRRRRRRRRANDY BOOOOOOOOOOOLZIAN!!!!!

Vinegar: BoolZ remains undefeated within GIW! This newcomer seems unstoppable!!!

Hanson: WRONG! Komosube is in the ring behind him! Head butt to the back of BoolZ knocks that young punk straight to the mat!

Vinegar: Dammit, another mugging by Global Domination! But Komosube isn't done yet! HE'S GOING TO THE TOP ROPE!!!! SPLAT!!!! HE JUST ANNIHILATED BOOLZ WITH THAT BANZAI-SAULT!!!!

Hanson: Look at that ring shake! BoolZ might be dead after that attack!!

Vinegar: This is disgusting! Travis Roberts should have prevented this!

Hanson: He can make it up to BoolZ at Toxic Intent. Ha!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

“Riot” fill the arena as the lights go down. Suddenly and unexpectedly every spotlight that had been focusing on the ring swings to the entrance ramp, the curtain twitches and out walks Nathaniel Gregory, he initially raises his hands to his face as the brightness is too much, but then he places on a pair of sunglasses, and then, with both arms, motions back towards the curtain. At this moment “The Real Innovator” Sean Jensen comes flying through them, sunglasses already covering his eyes. The Arena fills with a chorus of boos.

Dennis: The Following match is scheduled…for…

A single light swings back to the ring so that Dennis can continue reading his introductions.

Dennis: The Following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied by Nathaniel Gregory, from Sacramento weighing 223lbs, “The Real Innovator…. SEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN JENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN.

Vinegar: Gregory is simply twice the size of Sean Jensen, look at him towering over his employer. I’m not sure it’s a good thing he’s ringside.

Hanson: Oh it’s like that now, is it? If a brother ain’t wrestling, you don’t want him ringside…why? You ‘fraid he’s gonna steal something? You really shouldn’t let stereotypes take over so easily…

Vinegar: You know that’s not what I meant. Just look at him, he’s a HUGE advantage for Sean Jensen…

Sean climbs into the ring, the lights follow him all the way down the aisle, and focus on him as he perches on the top turnbuckle, arms spread out, staring at the entrance ramp intently!

Dennis: And the opponent from Detroit, Michigan, weighing 240lbs, Hardcore... DYLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

"Angel of Death" starts playing and the fans rise from their seats to take a look at the new superstar, but find that the lights are still focused on Sean Jensen, who is bathing in the glow.

Vinegar: Dylan James is one of the latest surviving additions to GIW, this match was meant to be a triple threat, but the other competitor Rick Ricker was involved in an accident….some claim that Nathaniel Gregory was in the vicinity when that accident occurred…

Hanson: There you go again? Jeez, you got some real problems, Nick. Who’s spreading the malicious rumours that Gregory had anything to do with Rickers demise?

Vinegar: Sean Jensen is! What is going on with these lights, I haven’t got a glimpse of our newest member…Finally!

The houselights go up, and the first thing we notice is Nathaniel Gregory standing in the middle of the aisle, baseball bat in hand…

Vinegar: Seems Jensen wanted Gregory to do some damage before the match started…wait a minute!

Dylan James has somehow made it into the ring, avoiding Nathaniel Gregory, and is standing directly behind Jensen, who is still perched on the turnbuckle…

Vinegar: Jensen and Gregory are looking confused….they have no idea Hardcore DJ is already in the ring…James leaps onto the second turnbuckle and grabs Jensen's head…Reverse DDT from the top rope! Now that’s how to introduce yourself!

Hanson: That’s downright despicable…the match hasn’t even started yet!

Vinegar: Well the bell has rung now and Dylan James has gone straight for the Sharpshooter. DJ is facing the ropes, Jensen is stranded in the middle of the ring, if DJ holds this he could have the quickest win in GIW his….NO! Whilst Hazel is checking on Sean, Gregory with a cheap shot on DJ with that baseball bat, through the ropes straight into his stomach. And Dylan James breaks the hold…

Hanson: I didn’t see anything. I was concentrating on the action INSIDE the ring, cause that’s what a good commentator does, he doesn’t try and spread malicious rumours…

Vinegar: Sean Jensen is back on his feet and he takes advantage of the turn in fortune provided by his ‘bodyguard’ and whips Dylan James into the far corner. He goes for a Flying Spinning Heel Kick…Dylan James moves at the right time…and Jensen crashes into the Turnbuckles and flat onto the floor…but he climbs to his feet. Both man circle the ring and then lock up, a thrust of the knee by Dylan James to The Real Innovators midsection, and Jensen break the hold, DJ kicks him in the midsection…Double Underhook Suplex! And James goes for the cover….1….2…NO! Jensen kicks out comfortably….

Hanson: It takes more than that to keep this guy down! I’ve been impressed by Jensen’s new found determination…DJ places Jensen between his legs, he’s signalling for the piledriver….Jensen flips him over his back!

Vinegar: This match is swinging backwards and forwards, no one seems to have the advantage yet. Jensen throws DJ to the outside. What’s he doing now…he’s telling Hazel East that DJ was grabbing his hair…whilst she is distracted Gregory has got hold of Dylan James outside of the ring…pump handle slam onto the arena floor! And he rolls Dylan James back into the ring…

Hanson: And Jensen gets a hold of him…he lifts him up for the powerbomb…

Vinegar: NO! Yet another reversal and Dylan James Hurricanrana’s Sean Jensen to the Canvas…DJ starts to climb the turnbuckle…What the hell?! Gregory is holding onto his ankle, impeding GIW’s newest hardcore Superstar from climbing the ropes…Hazel has seen and she’s now ordering Gregory to the back…and about time, he’s been nothing but a nuisance in this match! Maybe we can get a level playing field…WHAT THE HELL! Jensen just took out Hazel East! He just planted her in the back with a flying heel kick…

Hanson: That was accidental! She was standing too close to the turnbuckle…he was obviously aiming to knock James off the top rope…

Vinegar: Sure, it had nothing to do with Jensen losing his advantage? Gregory is now IN the ring, rather than going backstage…he just throws DJ from the top rope, directly into the middle of the ring…Sean Jensen picks him up…and gets another kick to the midsection for his efforts…BELLY TO BELLY from DJ…both competitors on their knees…Hazel East is still down…Gregory has grabbed Dylan James…he has placed him on the turnbuckle…he climbs onto the apron…CHOKE SLAM TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!! This is outrageous…Jensen is back on his feet…

Hanson: Wakey, wakey Hazel! She’s getting to her knee’s now, she shouldn’t be so clumsy in the future…

Vinegar: Jensen is telling Gregory to get under the ring…and the big man gets onto his belly and slides under the ring…Dylan James is climbing groggily to his feet…Jensen runs to the opposites ropes and back…he springboards onto the top rope…SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO THE OUT…NO! DJ MOVES!!! You just cannot keep this new guy down! Despite practically fighting two men, he still keeps trying…

Hanson: He’s picked up Jensen and is pummelling his face against the guard rail!

Vinegar: Hazel East is back up and she’s started counting both men out…1….

Hanson: Dylan James hoists Sean Jensen up….J-5…he hits his finisher! This can’t be happening!

Vinegar: Hazel East has reached 3 in her count…Dylan James makes his way back to the ring…NO! he’s slipped!...wait a minute…he seems to be struggling….Hazel has reached 5 in her count…THAT’S RIDICULOUS! Gregory has clasped his hands around Dylan James ankles from underneath the ring…James can’t break free…Hazel can’t see Gregory’s hands, she has to focus on both competitors, she thinks Gregory went to the back…

Hanson: Sean Jensen is getting groggily to his feet…Hazel has reached 7 in her count…Sean shakes his head…8…he see’s Dylan James on the floor on the floor, legdrop….9…Jensen realises Hazel is counting and slides back into the ring…10! THIS ONE’S OVER!

Dennis: Your Winner, by count-out…SEEEEEEAAAAAAN JENSEEEEEEEEEN!!!

Hanson: That’s another win for “The Real Innovator”…and Gregory is Joining him in the ring for his celebration…

Vinegar: That was a farce of a match…Dylan James did not deserve to lose! It seems Sean Jensen has had two Handicap matches in two weeks, just this time the odds were stacked in his favour…

Hanson: Don’t blame Jensen! Dylan James should have factored Gregory into the equation, it’s not like you can forget about him, he’s a big man…look at him, he can barely raise Jensen’s hand because he’s so big…What the hell!

Vinegar: Dylan James is in the ring…SPINNING NECKBREAKER TO GREGORY! The big man is down, and Sean Jensen slides out of the ring and makes his way down the ramp, arms raised aloft as victor…as Dylan James stands over the body of Nathaniel Gregory, staring down at him with intensity and burning rage! Mr. Big just learned not to turn your back on Mr. Hardcore Dylan James…he may technically have lost the bout, but it’s DJ who stands over the goliath of Gregory as this match ends.

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Backstage, Dylan James can be seen angrily marching down a corridor of the GIW arena. Jason Reeves hurriedly approaches him, microphone in hands.

Reeves: Dylan, Dylan! Hold up!

The newly debuted superstar stops in his tracks and turns to Reeves with a look that could kill.

James: Yes?!

Reeves: I just wanted to ask you something, seeing as I am GIW NUMBER ONE INTERVIEWER after all!

James: ...

Reeves: Urgh... So! How does it feel to lose your very first match?!

James: I wouldn’t know, because I didn’t lose! My victory was stolen from me! If Jensen and his big, dopey stooge of a sidekick think they’ve heard the last of me, than they’re going to be sorely mistake. And I emphasize the 'sorely'!

“RRRRRRRRRWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!”

Without warning, Aragato springs onto the scene and smashes James straight in the face with a kendo stick. He begins blasting away at the downed James, as Reeves looks on, horrified. Mr. Deathmatch soon stops his assault and turns to the terrified Reeves.

Reeves: Why would you do that?!?!

Aragato: BLURK DA GRANKK OONFA BORKZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reeves: O.O

The camera cuts back to the arena, as "Amerika" hits and the arena, almost instinctively, fills with boos. Savage makes his way onto the stage, as a large burst of pyro erupts behind him.

Dennis: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, representing Global Domination, from Munic, Germany and weighing 225 pounds, The Brutal Enigma... SAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!

Vinegar: Aragato just ruthlessly attacked Dylan James! But why?!

Hanson: He’s sending a message, Nick. You’re either with Global Domination or your against them. Something that Jack Ryans is about to learn! HA!

Vinegar: We’ll just see, as Savage is making his way into the ring here and stretching on the ropes. I wonder who he’s got on standby when the match starts to turn sour for him!

Hanson: Don't hate on the S-Man! He's representin' da hood!

Vinegar: You know, I'm just gonna come out and say it... Dan... YOU'RE WHITE!!!

Hanson: That's Dan Dawg to you, compton!

Vinegar: For the love of -

"Paint It Black" hits and the fans begin cheering loudly. Jack Ryans emerges from the curtains and begins waving to the audience. After several moments, he turns his attention to Savage and begins marching down the ramp.

Dennis: And the opponent, currently residing in Langley, Virginia and weighing 240 pounds, The Watchman... JAAAAAAAAAAAACK RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYANS!!!!!

Vinegar: Jack Ryans makes his in-ring debut here tonight. He had an altercation with Savage last week and now -

Hanson: Altercation?! Are you deranged, Nick?! Little Moral Orel here called Savage out and now he's going to get exactly what he deserves! A Tiger V all the way back to wherever it is he crawled out from!

Vinegar: So I take it, you're not a fan of Jack?

Hanson: You're on a first name basis, now? Biased...

Vinegar: Regardless, Ryans slides into the ring. But as soon as he's to his feet, Savage blasts him with a stiff right fist! Now The Last Aryan taking The Watchman to the corner and BAM! He just smashed Ryans face first into the top turnbuckle!

Hanson: Like I said. Exactly what he deserves!

Vinegar: Savage looking to smash Ryans' face a second time, but Jack counters with an elbow straight into Savage's throat! The Brutal Enigma hurting here and Jack capitalises with a suplex OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT OF THE RING!!!

Hanson: EEK!!!

Vinegar: Savage has taken a nasty tumble here and now Owen Peterson is beginning the count. One! Two! Savage is starting to get up, while Ryans has remained in the ring. Three! Four! Five!

Hanson: Here comes Savage, back inside the squared circle! He won't be defeated so easily. Heck, he won't be defeated at all!

Vinegar: Savage back to his feet, but Ryans quickly takes him down with a neck breaker! Ryans has firm control here and pulls Savage up to his feet. Another suplex coming up! NO! Savage counters in midair, lands on his feet and obliterates Ryans with a German suplex!!

Hanson: That's an Aryan suplex, fool! But wait! Savage keeps the hold locked on and is looking for another Aryan suplex!! DA TRIFECTA!

Vinegar: And Savage smashes his opponent with a second devastating suplex! Third and final coming up - NO! Ryans breaks free, charges at the ropes and comes back WITH THE COVERT OPS!! Savage has been taken down here!!

Hanson: You crazy, gangsta?! He’s just playing possum! Yeah... possum... you’ll see!!

Vinegar: Savage seems to be clearly hurting now, as Ryans drops a knee across The Brutal Enigma’s face. Savage rolling across the ring to escape The Watchman’s reach and using the ropes to pull himself up. But Ryans is ready and whips his adversary into the opposite ropes. Savage comes back and tastes a MASSIVE spine buster!!! And Ryans makes the cover, but only scores a two count!

Hanson: It’ll take more than a spine buster to finish off Savage! The man is an enigma, you know?!

Vinegar: You may be right. Ryans has pulled Savage up, but The Last Aryan counters with some stiff rights and lefts! He whips Ryans to the ropes and runs at the opposite side of the ring! Both men come racing back AND SAVAGE WITH THE TIGER V - NO!!! RYANS LEAPS ABOVE HIM AND SAVAGE GOES DIVING HEADFIRST INTO THE CANVAS!!!!

Hanson: He did it on purpose! Yeah, yeah! Savage is in full control!!

Vinegar: NO HE ISN’T! RYANS WASTES NO TIME AND TAKES HOLD OF SAVAGE!!!! JUSTICE SERVED PLANTS THE LAST ARYAN!!!!! ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!!!

Hanson: NO!!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner via pinfall... JAAAAAAAACK RRRRRRRRRRRYA -

Vinegar: KOMOSUBE OUT OF NOWHERE JUST BLASTED RYANS WITH A SUPER KICK!!!!

Hanson: Damn! How’d that big kahuna get into the ring without being noticed?!?!

Vinegar: We were all distracted by Jack’s short lived victory, it seems! And now Komosube delivers the Kamikaze Smash into Ryans, totally taking him out!!! Dammit, this is just a mugging!!

Hanson: Well Ryans was talking trash to Komosube last week. Seems his actions have caught up with him!

Vinegar: This is the third mugging by Hiroshima this evening! When is somebody going to stop these damn hooligans known as Global Domination?!

Hanson: No one! That’s the whole point! HA!

[T-Robosaurus Rex]

Backstage, Cara Costello can be seen standing in the furnace room of the GIW arena. A leaking pipe drips on her, no matter where she stands and she is visibly shaking from the cold. The expression on her face is one of annoyance. Within moments, Aragato appears on the scene.

Cara: Aragato, there you are. What was so important that we had to meet about it straight away in this place?!

Aragato: Kmhgksllr? Ihfg errla rfakpohn wklt drul!

Cara: Huh? That’s nuts. I didn’t organise this meeting. I was told Komosube wanted us all to meet here.

Komosube and Savage now appear in the room, Savage resting an arm around Komosube for support.

Savage: Damn my head hurts... oh, there you guys are. Cara, why’d you want to meet us all in here?

Cara: What?! I didn’t -

A slow clapping begins, as the four Global Domination members turn to the door. Randy Boolzian is standing in the threshold, chains resting on his shoulder and smiling from ear-to-ear.

BoolZ: Well, I’ll admit you guys got me earlier tonight. I suppose this little stunt makes us even.

BoolZ winks and slams the door shut, as the group charges towards it. The camera cuts to the other side of the door, where BoolZ is using the chain and a padlock to secure the door shut. He then turns to the camera and lights up a cigarette.

BoolZ: Brown... Austin... You won’t have to worry about Global Domination tonight, just like I said you wouldn’t.

The camera returns to the arena, where Vinegar is smiling broadly and Hanson seems completely outraged.

Hanson: I’M COMPLETELY OUTRAGED!!! THE NERVE OF BOOLZ!!

Vinegar: BoolZ has aligned himself with Brown and Austin in an effort to stand against Global Domination!! I think it’s great!!

Several eerie musical notes begin playing and the building turns pitch black. As the lighting returns, Lord Deathman and Misery are in the centre of the ring.

Dennis: The following match is a champions vs. challenger tag team match! Introducing first, representing Global Domination and being accompanied by the GIW WOMEN’S CHAMPION, from The Dark and weighing 370 pounds, The General Of Destruction... LOOOOOOOOOORRRD DEATHMAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

“Immortal” soon hits and the pair of Donovan Hastings and Calypso Desmona make their way onto the stage. Hastings begins posing to the audience, who return the gesture only with loud boos.

Dennis: And the partner, representing Global Domination and being accompanied by Calypso Desmona, from Hartford, Connecticut and weighing 230 pounds, The Lord Of Pain... LOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRD DONOVAAAAAAAAAAAAN HAAAAAAAAAAAASTINGS!!!!

Hanson: What a team?! Two Lords teaming together to eliminate the false Champions! It’s exquisite, Nick!

Vinegar: We’ll see what Brown and Austin have to say about that, as Hastings is now inside the ring.

“Turn Up The Trouble” hits and the fans begin cheering loudly. Chris Austin begins strutting onto the stage and down the ramp, the Hardcore Title around his waist.

Dennis: And the opponent, currently residing in San Diego, California and weighing 210 pounds, The King Of Kama Sutra, the GIW HARDCORE CHAMPION.... CHRRRRRRRRRRRRIS AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUSTIN!!!!

Vinegar: Austin removing his Hardcore Title at the end of the ramp and waiting for his tag partner. That’s a smart move on his part. He doesn’t want to be bated into a handicap match.

Hanson: Coward...

“Kickstart My Heart” hits and the arena erupts with cheers. Brandon Brown jogs through the curtains and begins making his way down the ramp. The Global Heavyweight Championship belt is, of course, strapped proudly around his waist.

Dennis: And the partner, from Albion, Indiana and weighing 90 pounds, the GLOBAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.... BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRANDON BRRRRRRRRRRRROWN!!!!

Vinegar: Brown also removing his title belt and both Champions slide into the ring! Brown with a flying forearm into Deathman, while Austin begins blasting Hastings with rights and lefts!! Glenn Burke trying to take control here and forcing Austin and Hastings out of the ring! The two men who will main event Toxic Intent are going to start this match, as the bell rings!

Hanson: BUT LOOK AT THIS!! BOOLZ IS MAKING HIS WAY DOWN TO RINGSIDE!!! HE’S NOT MEANT TO BE HERE!!!

Vinegar: Burke asking BoolZ why he’s here!! RBI is telling Burke that he just wants to watch the match and keep an eye on Desmona and Misery! Glenn Burke is going to allow it!!

Hanson: What a crock?!

Vinegar: And back in the ring, Deathman has forced Brown into a neutral corner and is working away at him with some HUGE rights and lefts!!! Deathman is big, mean and strong and Brown is learning that right here!

Hanson: Brown looks like a white McSkinny next to Lord Deathman!!

Vinegar: About the same as what you look like next to Brown, then. Don’t count the Global Champion out, because he’s overcome every obstacle placed in front of him thus far.

Hanson: Except Komosube! Ha!

Vinegar: Deathman whips Brown to the ropes! The Champ comes back and Deathman looks for a belly-to-belly! Brown counters into a reverse atomic drop!! Now Brown dashes back to the ropes and comes back with a GIANT tornado DDT!!! He plants the big man!!

Hanson: Not possible!!

Vinegar: And now Brown tags in Austin! The Hardcore Champ is quick in the ring, BUT DEATHMAN SITS UP!!! Austin isn’t phased and is stalking his giant adversary. HE’S SIGNALLING FOR THE SOCAL GUTCHECK!!!

Hanson: Ha! And the walking hormone runs, but cops a roundhouse kick straight to the skull! LORD D-MIKE FO LIFE!!!

Vinegar: Urgh... Now Hastings is calling for the tag, as Austin seems a little dazed. Deathman reluctantly agrees and slaps palms with Hastings. The Immortal in the ring, pulls Austin to his feet, but sends him right back down with a harsh neck breaker!

Hanson: Now Hastings is locking in a tight headlock! Austin could be in trouble here.

Vinegar: NO! Brown comes and kicks Hastings off Austin! Burke is sending Brown back to his corner, but Deathman enters the ring thanks to the distraction. BAM!!! DEATHMAN JUST PLANTED AUSTIN WITH THE GRAVEYARD EFFECT AND IS MAKING A BEELINE BACK TO HIS CORNER!!!

Hanson: That’s what Brown and Austin get for cheating!

Vinegar: Because Lord knows, Global Domination have never cheated!

Hanson: I’m sure Lords Hastings and Deathman do know it, as Hastings covers! This one’s over! ONE! TWO! THRE - NO WAY!!!

Vinegar: Austin with a foot on the ropes!! Hastings pulling the Hardcore Champ back up, but Austin plants him with a mic check STO!!! AND NOW AUSTIN WITH THE TAG TO BROWN!!! HERE COMES THE GLOBAL CHAMP!!!

Hanson: ARGH!!

Vinegar: Quick clothesline takes Hastings down AND A SUPERKICK TO DEATHMAN SENDS HIM OFF THE APRON AND GUARANTEES HE WON’T INTERFERE AGAIN!!!

Hanson: IT’S CHEATING, DAMMIT!!!!

Vinegar: Speaking of, Misery is on the apron and screaming at Burke!! MEANWHILE DESMONA IS GOING TO SLIDE A CHAIR INTO THE RING - NO!!! BOOLZ GRABS HER AND SENDS HER SOARING OVER THE SAFETY BARRIER AND INTO THE FANS!!!!

Hanson: HE CAN’T DO THAT!!!

Vinegar: He just did and Hastings is outraged!!! BUT BROWN CAPITALISES ON THE DISTRACTION AND GETS A ROLL UP FROM BEHIND!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! HE DID IT!!!!

Dennis: Your winners via pinfall... CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIS AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUSTIN AND BRRRRRRRRRRRRRANDON BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWN!!!!

Hanson: THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Vinegar: THANKS TO BOOLZ, THE CHAMPIONS HAVE EMERGED VICTORIOUS!!! THIS HAS TO BE A BAD OMEN FOR GLOBAL DOMINATION WHEN IT COMES TO TOXIC INTENT!!

Hanson: Just shut u - WHAT?!

Vinegar: Cara Costello has just appeared on the titantron! She's in a hallway now, so I guess GD must have escaped from the furnace. Jeez, is she soaked, though?! Bones really has to fix those leaking pipes!

Hanson: DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MS. COSTELLO LIKE THAT!!!

Vinegar: I didn’t mean it like that!!!

Hanson: You did so you sick pervert!!

Cara: Are we on? We are?? Good! Ahem... BoolZ, you little cretin! I’m going to make sure you pay for this! In fact, all three members of your little boy’s club are in for a world of trouble after what you just did!! However, I am going to deal with one problem at a time. The first being Brandon Brown, the false Champion! You see, after Lord Hastings has taken the Hardcore Title as his own, I’m going to be there personally to see Brandon Brown DESTROYED at the hands of Lord Deathman! And I’ll be doing it as the guest announcer during Toxic Intent’s main event!

Vinegar: NO!!!

Hanson: YES!!!

Cara: But, after BoolZ’ little stunt, I will, of course, need protection. So, to make sure nothing as DESPICABLE as tonight occurs, Savage is going to be at ringside during the Global Title match... AS THE GUEST ENFORCER!!!

Vinegar: IS SHE KIDDING?!?!

Hanson: HA! Looks like your little prank backfired, BoolZ! There’s going to be THREE Global Domination members involved in Brown’s Title defence! He has no chance!!

Vinegar: The odds certainly just became infinitely more difficult for Brandon Brown, in seven days time. But if anyone can overcome it, it’s our TRUE Champion! We hope you can join as for Toxic Intent ladies and gentlemen, but for now, we’re out of time! I’m Nicholas Vinegar, here with Daniel Hanson, wishing you a pleasant week!

Hanson: It’ll have to be more pleasant than Brown’s. HA!