Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2017 19:06:58 GMT -5
~~The PrincessTwilightSexyFang podcast, as viewed on hotgoths.fuckyeah~~
'Sup, Fang Gang! This is your Queen of Red, the hawtest mama-jama in the history of the Great North East, checking in from my KILLER VIEW aboard the S.S...er...something or another. Quite frankly, I'm not even sure why Mackenzie and I are on this cruise. It's got something to do with the wrestling company that our Best Gay Friend Dax works for. And lots of sea leg sex. Or something. But! Oh holy hell but! I am, literally, walking over to a helicopter right now because we are being air-lifted off and headed over to Nevada to take part in a tournament! Because I am Fighting the World Across the World, baby!
Oh snap! Speaking of tournaments!
'Sup, Unified Global! WrestleStock time, baby!
For those not in the know, yours truly, that Firestarter, the Bloodletter, the Bottom Bitch herself, am taking part in a tournament during WrestleStock, Unified's big-ass annual extravaganza. Word went around a few months ago about the open tournament and well, you know how Mama is about tournaments and one-shots: I EATS THEM ALL! So I shot bossman a message and BLAM! Firestarter headed to the UGWC!
Oh but wait! This Kickass Queen of All Things Kickassocity showed up and surprised everyone!
See, last month, the UGWC had another one of their signature events in the Massive Melee, a battle royal to determine who gets the shot at the champ to conclude their big-ass annual extravaganza. I snuck a message to that coolio bossman about if it was open to everyone and BLAM! Firestarter surprise entrance! I have never been in a battle royal before and figured it would be fun, plus give the UGWC audience an extra taste of this #squatbooty, so I showed up! I didn't win...but I TOTES made it to the Final Four! I probably would have won it, since I was LITERALLY kicking the everloving shit out of the Gabster and Baal before that EVIL and SNEAKY Donovan ninja'd up behind me and tossed me out.
AND grabbed my butt while doing it! WATCHING YOU, DONOVAN!
Anyway...at least I eliminated some loser with a Shining Wizard. That was for you, Father!
But now the time is upon us. WrestleStock Open tournament! And my two opponents in this triple-threat round?
Ichabod and Rey Lobo.
You know what...before I say anything...allow me a moment to give you a visual representation of how I feel going into this match:
Seriously, bossman? This is what you give me? THIS?!
I am flying all over the world, pinning legends and established #1 Contenders, and I have to face off against a broken down has-been and an untrained puppy?
C'mon, man!
Seriously, here I am, the most beautiful, talented, popular, and genetically gifted athlete of my generation and I have to do double duty by putting an old man and someone not even house-trained to sleep. Mind you, I'm not crying about the act itself. Oh no, no no. I LOVE making people my bitches and fucking them up. Just as Drew Stevenson, ya know?! That dude thought he could make grape jokes and now the only title he gets to sniff is in that naked fed CWF! I laughed my sculpted ass off when I realize how far he had fallen after I dropped his lecherous ass into the Abyss. So that whole "ruining lives and ending careers" aspect of what I do is not something to shy away from. But this match? Oh...oh...sweet mother.
Ya know what? I have a great way to make it clear what I am talking about. How about....A LIST?!
I am flying all over the world, pinning legends and established #1 Contenders, and I have to face off against a broken down has-been and an untrained puppy?
C'mon, man!
Seriously, here I am, the most beautiful, talented, popular, and genetically gifted athlete of my generation and I have to do double duty by putting an old man and someone not even house-trained to sleep. Mind you, I'm not crying about the act itself. Oh no, no no. I LOVE making people my bitches and fucking them up. Just as Drew Stevenson, ya know?! That dude thought he could make grape jokes and now the only title he gets to sniff is in that naked fed CWF! I laughed my sculpted ass off when I realize how far he had fallen after I dropped his lecherous ass into the Abyss. So that whole "ruining lives and ending careers" aspect of what I do is not something to shy away from. But this match? Oh...oh...sweet mother.
Ya know what? I have a great way to make it clear what I am talking about. How about....A LIST?!
THINGS THAT ARE COMPARABLE TO ME BEATING THE OLD MAN AND THE PUPPY
Get the point guys? The reality of your situation is that you are facing a second generation star would was begat by a world champion and trained by another, a star whose name is on everyone's lips, a star who, the world over, is being known for throwing kicks that chop down trees and setting fire to dumb bitches. My words, spoken with my perfect diction, are the thing of prose, whereas everything that I've heard Ichabod say while going through his archives is no better than a schizophrenic with a particularly bad case of Tourette's Syndome! And puppy boy is so lackluster and boring that I could SWEAR he was doing it on purpose.
See...I am flavor. And color. And life. These two? They seem to think that their brand of plain gelatin is a virtue or something. But it's not. Oh no, no no. In fact, this win is so easy and effortless that I will not even bother celebrating it. I may as well celebrate the aforementioned list of equally easy things to do! After all, one does not hang from the rim after dunking on the midget, one does not be proud that they banged Baal's mama. Might as well be proud of waking up or blinking.
Thus, no celebration. No basking in the cheers of the crowd. Why? Because this is a tournament and but only the first round. Instead, these totes hawt eyes are on the rest of the participants. Unfortunately for them, there is nothing else they can do, either. After all, this is a tournament filled with the likes of Maggie Lockheart, who is a sweet girl, a sweet, sweet girl, but has the worst possible start in this business by being trained by the most pathetic "trainer" in the business, Jan van der Roost. The man can cook, I will give him that, but if he could bottle his version of wrestling and sell it as a sleeping aid, then he could retired with that match-dodging bimbo of a wife on a beach somewhere. And Deimos? The dude that I personally Shining Wizarded (now in verb form!) out of the Melee? As if!
Long story=short, it doesn't matter who makes it to the final day to face me. It doesn't matter who stands across the ring from the Firestarter. All that matters is that I shall stand tall, the trophy/cup/whateveritis raised in my hand, and I shall be the victory. And after that?
Morgan?
Baal?
I'm coming for that title.
Hoist the banner.
Raise the colors.
The red!
The black!
Gotta burn in my revolution.
- Dunking on a midget
- Convincing Eden to bend over for a loving pegging session
- Having sex with Baal's mom
- Eating a bowl of alphabet soup and shitting out promos more coherent than theirs (thanks, Ken!)
- Special kids loading up the Short Bus
- Gabrielle cranking out ANOTHER Razzy-worthy role in a shitty movie!
Get the point guys? The reality of your situation is that you are facing a second generation star would was begat by a world champion and trained by another, a star whose name is on everyone's lips, a star who, the world over, is being known for throwing kicks that chop down trees and setting fire to dumb bitches. My words, spoken with my perfect diction, are the thing of prose, whereas everything that I've heard Ichabod say while going through his archives is no better than a schizophrenic with a particularly bad case of Tourette's Syndome! And puppy boy is so lackluster and boring that I could SWEAR he was doing it on purpose.
See...I am flavor. And color. And life. These two? They seem to think that their brand of plain gelatin is a virtue or something. But it's not. Oh no, no no. In fact, this win is so easy and effortless that I will not even bother celebrating it. I may as well celebrate the aforementioned list of equally easy things to do! After all, one does not hang from the rim after dunking on the midget, one does not be proud that they banged Baal's mama. Might as well be proud of waking up or blinking.
Thus, no celebration. No basking in the cheers of the crowd. Why? Because this is a tournament and but only the first round. Instead, these totes hawt eyes are on the rest of the participants. Unfortunately for them, there is nothing else they can do, either. After all, this is a tournament filled with the likes of Maggie Lockheart, who is a sweet girl, a sweet, sweet girl, but has the worst possible start in this business by being trained by the most pathetic "trainer" in the business, Jan van der Roost. The man can cook, I will give him that, but if he could bottle his version of wrestling and sell it as a sleeping aid, then he could retired with that match-dodging bimbo of a wife on a beach somewhere. And Deimos? The dude that I personally Shining Wizarded (now in verb form!) out of the Melee? As if!
Long story=short, it doesn't matter who makes it to the final day to face me. It doesn't matter who stands across the ring from the Firestarter. All that matters is that I shall stand tall, the trophy/cup/whateveritis raised in my hand, and I shall be the victory. And after that?
Morgan?
Baal?
I'm coming for that title.
Hoist the banner.
Raise the colors.
The red!
The black!
Gotta burn in my revolution.
"Mother Grey? Are you decent?"
Sid's gravelly voice poured from behind the closed door. "NO! I'M A BITCH, BUT COME IN ANYWAY!"
With a roll of her eyes, Sarah opens the door to a scene of destruction and debauchery. Empty liqueur bottles, discarded clothing, and crumpled hamburger wrappers littering the floor.
"My Queen!"
The shocked voice of the ‘attendant’ Sarah had selected for her spiritual mother-in-law was a high-pitched yelp, the shirtless man's eyes going wide before he obediently fell to one knee. Sarah smirks as she glides into the room, making sure to enjoy a lengthy look at his muscled back before she offered him her ring to kiss.
"A moment, Jacob."
The Lacklanlander kisses the signet ring before rising and making his way out of the room, bowing the whole way. Sarah giggles as the door shuts.
"Haven't seen those abs in a while." She turns to Sid lounging on the couch. "I do hope my selection has been adequate for your needs, Mother Grey."
"You don't know what you're missing..." She pauses with a chuckle and an arch of her botoxed brow. "...or maybe you do..."
She shrugs and winks.
"...I won't tell if you won't"
Sarah cannot help but give a conspiratorial wink.
“That was SO 2015, Mother Grey.” Sarah sits in the hotel room’s chair. “I have a couple of questions, if you may permit me some time.”
Sid shrugs as she sips on her drink.
"It's your dime...daughter," she says, returning the wink.
Sarah cannot help but shiver a bit at hearing that word come out of Sid’s mouth.
“As I am certain you are aware, Mackenzie’s 20th birthday is fast approaching. She herself is nonchalant about the day, as if it means little. Can you give me insight as to why? My own birthdays were usually festivals which lasted for many hours.”
Sid smirks. "Kenzi is flighty, like I said. She hasn't cared for birthdays since she was a little girl. When I would show up, she'd never mention a birthday or care about the things I brought her."
Sarah chews on this.
“Interesting.” She ponders for a moment. “Mother Grey...do you love your daughter? Honestly? Truly?”
Sid sits the glass down, for the first time looking serious.
"Look...my daughter and I have a different relationship, not a good one, but she's mines and I do love her in my own way, as I'm sure she does...in her own way."
Sid sighs.
"I wish she were more like me...more like us...bitches who want to choke the world into submission, but...that isn't who she is."
“I think you would be surprised after the last few days.”
There is a twinkle in her eye as she ponders...and makes her decision.
“Mother Grey, I am throwing Mackenzie a surprise birthday party. She thinks it will just be the two of us going dancing, but I have rented out the Roxy for the night and the pit will be full of her friends and those she thinks of as family. The amount of RSVPs I have already received is staggering. I know not if you will still be living with us when July 20th arrives, but I would very much like for you to be there.”
Sid seem surprised by the gesture, but she shrugs. "...if I'm still living..."
Sarah gives her a piercing look. “Perhaps this is something to live for.”
She stands up, adjusting her coat. “Thank you for the time Mother Grey. If you will excuse me, I have a show to prepare for.”
Sid winks again. "If you change your mind about young Jacob...let me know."
Sarah rolls her eyes again. “How else do you think I knew he would be of such a high caliber?”
Sarah turns to leave but then stops, her face curious.
"Mother Grey...I require counsel and could use your perspective, if I may." Seeing her nod, Sarah goes on. "If someone close to you emotionally betrayed you...and you had to the opportunity to hurt them...to ruin them...would you do it?"
Sid considers this for a moment, hoping to gauge where this was coming from.
"Sarah, there is no worst betrayal than an emotional one. You cannot allow betrayal to go unanswered, in any form. You need to make an example of them...show others that you're not to be trifled with."
Sarah nods and looks down, her eyes concerned.
"I am planning something, Mother. I have been for quite some time. And recent events have helped me choose the when and how."
She looks back up at Sid.
"Assume you were, as well. Assume you were planning on hurting someone. But you have not told your significant other. And they may be upset by your actions. Do you do them, anyway?"
Sid smiles deviously at the young girl. She loved the way her mind worked. If her own daughter had such instincts, she would have gladly trained her in the sport.
"Sarah...dear...when you are a fighter, you do what must be done...you follow your nature. Those who care about you should already understand...if they do not, they have no place by your side..."
She put her hand on her shoulder. Her eyes capturing Sarah's and holding them.
"...don't deny your true nature. That is weakness and weakness must be stamped out wherever you find it."
Sarah nods slowly. She leans in and gives Sid a small peck on her cheek before pulling away.
"Thank you, Mother."
She turns and glides out the door.