Post by Roxy Cotton on Apr 28, 2018 21:21:37 GMT -5
FUCK AND RUN
Detroit, After No Holds Barred
The hotel room door swings open and Maxine stands in the entryway, carrying the brand new UGWC Cooperative Champion Roxy Cotton in her arms like a husband symbolically carrying his new bride across the threshold.
"Careful, baby, my hip is still, like, REALLY sore."
Maxine steps into the room and gingerly places Roxy onto the center of the large bed in the middle of the room.
"Thank you, Max! You're so sweet! I had no idea the elevators would be out of order, but, like, it's Detroit, you know? At least we're only on the fifteenth floor."
Maxine nods one time and wipes sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. She then pulls the Co-op Title belt from her shoulder.
"Oh! Yay, gimme gimme!"
Roxy stretches her arms out in front of her and wiggles her fingers like a little kid begging for candy. Maxine slips the belt into Roxy's eager hands and then steps back, watching as Roxy's eyes widen as she looks over her shiny new bauble.
"This one's even prettier than my Chaos Title! I wish the whole world could see it!"
She smiles as she holds the championship in the light, rotating it back and forth to capture various reflections. At the bottom of the metal faceplate, a name is engraved. Eden Morgan. Roxy traces the letters with a manicured fingernail before looking back up at Max with a grin.
"Do you think I should leave her name there? It feels so good to remember the way she talked about me and the things she and her friends did to me... and to you... and to have taken this from her. Maybe I'll just leave it there for a little while? I know she'll say something like I'm just leaving it because I know she's taking it back or some other false bravado... but I really do smile every time I see it. Maybe just a few days."
Maxine shrugs and folds her arms, looking at the thick, black, plastic watch on her left wrist.
"Max? Can you run a bath for me, baby? I'm SO sore, and I just want to relax. I have to do this stupid Q&A press conference thingie online in a minute, some garbage in my UGWC contract, but I want to unwind in a bath right when I'm done. Can you?"
Maxine looks stern for a moment, it being after midnight already and Max staying in a cheaper hotel across town. However, she nods and heads for the bathroom.
"Thanks baby. You're so good to me!"
Roxy kisses her new championship and sets it aside while she digs out her phone to text her fiance Vinnie Lane and tell him the good news. However, when she swipes the phone screen awake, her face goes to a whiter shade of pale as if she'd seen a ghost.
Roxy's mouth drops open and her hands begin to shake as the sound of water running in the bathroom echoes through the room.
Los Angeles, Early 2014
"Get the fuck out of here, you loser."
Heads turned in the bar and watched as the slender, leggy blonde doused a man holding a single rose in his hand with the full contents of her drink. Humiliated, the young man turned on his heel and left the bar without uttering a single word in his defense.
"Can you believe it?"
Roxy said to the others sitting at a small table after she made her way back to it and slid into the booth seating.
"He pulls up here for a date with me in some 1990s hatchback? What the fuck? And he expects me to talk to him after that?"
"Disgusting."
Another blonde sitting at the table interjects. She swallows the final sip from her glass.
"Lik duh KiKi, he's obviously way below my league. I knew I shouldn't use this stupid new Tinder thing. Ugh. Like... did he think I would get IN that car later if I liked him? Like to drive me back to his one-bedroom apartment in like Inglewood or wherever he probably lives? As if!"
Roxy then lifts her own glass and clicks her tongue after realizing it was emptied onto her would-be paramour.
"And now I don't even have a drink! This is the worst night anyone has ever had. What a way to spend my only day off from Pegasus. Ugh."
"I'll get all of us some refills. On me."
The guy sitting next to Roxy's friend KiKi says with a smile. He plants a big kiss onto KiKi's cheek and stands up, heading for the bar.
"Try not to miss me too much while I'm gone!"
KiKi blushes and giggles.
"He's so retarded. I like him though."
"Yeah, like, isn't this your third date? You're practically married to him already. Usually you just put out and ghost them."
"Like you're one to talk, Rox."
Roxy smiles.
"Guilty as charged, I guess. But yeah... I'm sorry to suddenly be a third wheel. This was supposed to be a double date and now it's just me being sad and pathetic while you and your boyfriend get all gross and romantic."
"I mean, he's not my boyfriend... I think? Maybe he is? But it's totally fine, Rox, you had no choice but to kick that loser out to the curb... he's no better than the lame mama's boys who come into the club and just stare instead of tipping."
KiKi and Roxy had become fast friends when Rox started dancing at the Pegasus. Most dancers are catty and territorial towards new girls, especially when they look better than they do, but KiKi had welcomed her warmly from day one and given her the scoop about the club. Which regulars were creeps, which were high tippers, which bouncers were cool, and which ones would try to fuck you. They had been nearly inseparable for months and always hung out together when they were off.
"Besides, I told Vixen I'd pick up a shift tonight after all, so I can't stay out much longer anyway. Just one more drink."
"What!? Then what am I supposed to do for the rest of the night?"
"Well, you could come in too... grind some extra laps, make some extra money."
"No way. I need at least one night away from all those old pervs and their wrinkly hands sliding up my leg."
"For sure. Well, there's always more Tinder..."
KiKi said, giggling. Roxy feigned indignation.
"Ew! After that poser? I'm deleting the app right NOW!"
Roxy pulled her phone in its bedazzled case out of her clutch purse and started swiping on the screen. After a few moments, KiKi's date returned to the table with three glasses.
"That was quick! Hey, Roxy, you could just hang out with Kyle tonight! He'll be bored too with me going in."
"Going in? I thought you were off tonight?"
"I was, but Vix asked me to take a shift."
"Well, that sucks! I thought we were... well, we might..."
KiKi and Roxy burst out laughing as Kyle passes the drinks out.
"OMG KiKi you mean you haven't even FUCKED him yet? What are you, a nun?"
Kyle's face reddens but he laughs like a good sport.
"Nope! I decided to make this one wait... tonight probably would have been a good night, but he'll have to keep sweating I guess!"
"Are you sure you have to go in?"
The two girls laugh again. Roxy quickly drinks two thirds of her glass in one sip, then turns to Kyle and presses her hand against his cheek, pursing her lips and talking with a baby talk accent to him.
"Poor widdle baby isn't getting any pussy tonight! Awww!"
This time when Kyle's face reddens again, he doesn't smile. Instead he grabs KiKi's drink from in front of her and slides it towards Roxy.
"Whoops! This one was actually supposed to be yours Roxy!"
"Um... but I already drank all of this one. KiKi can have it."
"No! This one was yours, I made a mistake!"
"But..."
"Roxy, it's fine... I probably don't need it anyway. I'll get shots bought for me all night at the Peg, I don't want to get too wasted."
"Well, like, I do."
Roxy finished off her glass and then grabbed the one Kyle had slid over to her. She drained half of it down her throat in one swallow.
"Ew. This tastes gross."
"Sorry... need a water?"
"Yes, duh."
Kyle heads off again, and Roxy finishes the gross drink.
"He's kinda nice, I guess. But I think I'll just get an Uber and go home. Tonight was a total fail from top to bottom."
"You sure you don't want to just hang with Kyle? I feel bad for leaving him hanging. Just don't fuck him."
"As if! KiKi! I'd, like, never do that to my best friend... besides he isn't even that cute."
"Yes he is! Don't say that!"
"Don't say what?"
Kyle says, walking back to the table with a bottle of water in his hand.
"Ugh, what is that, Dasani? Ew."
Roxy takes the water and unscrews the cap, pinching her nose while she takes a sip.
"This shit's basically toilet water. I can, like, smell the chlorine in it.
"Roxy be nice. Kyle's trying to help. Oh! I need to get going! You guys have fun!"
KiKi stood up, giving Kyle a kiss, and headed for the door of the crowded bar. The Pegasus was just down the road, Roxy and KiKi would often grab a drink together here before walking to the club for a shift together. Roxy could envision the entire route KiKi was about to take. After a second, she was gone. Roxy was left to swirl the plastic straw in her empty glass and make small talk. Instead, she took her phone out once more.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting an Uber. I think I'm just going home."
"I can just give you a ride. I only had one drink."
"No, no... just... hang out... wow, I feel kind of weird."
"Weird?"
"Like... sort of dizzy. Lightheaded I guess. I guess the liquor is hitting me a little harder than I expected."
"Must be."
"Let me just... go to the bathroom for a second..."
Roxy stands and takes a step, but almost immediately she turns her ankle in her tall stiletto heel and stumbles. Luckily, Kyle is quick to act and he catches her before she can fall too far.
"Oh! I didn't... I just feel so dizzy..."
"It's okay, Roxy... let's just get you into the car and take you home. You need to get some rest."
"Yeah... home... thanks..."
"Unnhhh..."
Roxy groans and stretches her arms out over her head, fling her soft skin chafe against low thread count sheets. Sunlight bores into her eyes even through her closed lids, burning bright red spots into her skull as she rolls away, trying to block it with a pillow.
When she rolls too far and coms precipitously close to falling off the edge of the bed, the realization and recognition that this single-sized cot isn't her own California king, that she sheets aren't expensive satin, and that everything surrounding her is wrong. She isn't home.
"Wh.. Wha? Where?"
Her tongue is thick and sticks to the roof of her parched mouth. She tries licking her lips and sucking her cheeks in to moisten her mouth up but barely gets a drop to soothe the overheated palate and chapped lips.
"Where am I?"
She sat up, the itchy sheet falling from her bare chest. Roxy noticed her nudity and grabbed at the sheet again, covering herself with it as she slid her legs across the mattress and dangled her bare feet down to the cold wood floor. Across the room, tossed carelessly into a sloppy pile in an overstuffed chair, Roxy saw her dress and undergarments from the night before. Her shoes lay on their sides near the closed door of the bedroom.
It was when she tried to stand and gather her things that she noticed the pang of soreness from between her legs.
"Oh no... oh no no no..."
But there was little room for denial. Roxy opened her knees and looked down, seeing the bruises on her thighs and the redness of her sex. She looked around frantically for any sign of condoms or wrappers but saw nothing in the small waste basket beside the bed other than clumped tissues.
When the bedroom door opened and Kyle, dressed in only a pair of unbutton blue jeans, walked into the room with a glass of ice water in her hand, Roxy leaped from the bed and backed herself against a wall, hugging the sheet close to her body.
"You stay the fuck away from me! What did you do?"
Kyle just laughed and walked up to the blonde, who pressed herself back against the wall as much as she could.
"I did everything. Here. You're going to need some water. That stuff does a number on you, especially if you're already dehydrated from drinking all night."
"You put something in my drink!"
Kyle grabs Roxy's wrist and presses the glass of water into her hand. Roxy has to them use both hands to hold it, as her hands are shaking terribly by this point.
"Take the damn water. Sorry it isn't Evian or whatever you usually drink, princess. You know, you stuck up bitches are all the same. You think just because you have nice tits and a cute ass that we men will just bend over backwards for you and let you treat us like shit, just to get a sniff of your panties. I'm sick of it. Like your little friend KiKi and you... LAUGHING at how I was so pathetic to expect sex from a woman after paying for dinners and drinks for almost a month. Well, look who's pathetic now!"
Kyle laughs and points at Roxy, who turns her head away as if she'd been slapped.
"I'll call the cops."
Kyle laughs again.
"Bitch, I AM a cop. And you aren't going to do a fucking thing, because no one cares what some worthless whore from a strip club says anyway. You rub your pussy on whoever can pay enough for it, you think anyone gives a shit if you get what's coming to you? Do you?"
By now, tears have begun streaming down Roxy's face in rivers. She looks down at the glass in her hands and sees ripples in the surface of the water where they fall from her hot cheeks and into the glass.
"And you won't say a fucking thing to KiKi either. Because I'll tell her you couldn't keep your hands off me and that I was drunk and stupid. Which one of us you think she' more willing to believe, huh? Th cop she's been dating or the dumb slut she's seen jump from bed to bed for months?"
Roxy looks to either side then, looking for anything she might be able to swing or stab at the man seething in her face. She finds nothing, however, and instead decides to fling the glass of water into his eyes.
"FUCK YOU!"
Shee screeches and flings her hands upward. But Kyle just catches her by the wrist again and twists, the glass falling from Roxy's hand and shattering on the floor as pieces of jagged glass float in an expanding puddle of water like ships drifting in a harbor.
"You think I'm another little beta male like that pussy you humiliated last night? Think again, whore."
Roxy didn't feel the back of Kyle's hand when it connected with her face. She didn't feel her lip split or her eardrum rupture. She felt thee hard wood under her knees when she fell to the floor, and then she felt the burn of Kyle ripping the bedsheet away from her, leaving her naked at his feet and trying to cover herself with her arms and legs.
Roxy sobs and quivers in the water and broken glass, a trickle of blood leaking from one of her nostrils. Kyle's laughter echoes over her, and then four twenty dollar bills flutter down onto Roxy's naked skin.
"Get your shit on and get the fuck out of my house. Go to the pharmacy and buy a Plan B. I got you an Uber since you like it so much. Cunt."
Then Roxy watches through teary eyes and melted eyeliner as Kyle's bare feet lead him out of the bedroom and he slams the door shut behind him. Roxy allows herself a few minutes to cry, but eventually she fights the tears away and sits up, gathers the twenties, and then climbs to her feet and gets dressed.
She doesn't see Kyle anywhere as she hurries from his home barefoot, her heels hanging over her shoulder dangling by her index finger. When she steps out of the front door, a car is already idling in the street. She makes her way to the vehicle and opens the back door and then slides into the leather seat, closing th door behind her.
"Wow! SOMEone had a great night!"
The driver says with a smile while looking back at Roxy's mess of hair and makeup in the rearview mirror.
"Where are we going?"
"Just take me to Walgreens, please."
"You got it!"
As the car pulls away from the curb, Roxy's face falls into her open palms.
Clickclickclickclick.
The sounds of fingernails dancing across a keyboard are the soundtrack to a black screen, until finally the webcam springs to life and we see the smiling face of the Bubblegum Bombshell, the new UGWC Co-op Champion, Roxy Cotton.
WELCOME TO ROXY COTTON'S PRIVATE CAM
"Hi everyone! As you might have seen when you logged on tonight, I'm doing something a little different this time around. As part of my UGWC deal, I'm helping promote them and their new upcoming show, Chill. I'll be there, fighting a fat girl named Kem Dynamo, and I'm having a kind of AMA here for the fans. We can get back to the fun stuff next time, I promise. Anyone have any questions, please please please send them in now."
TotesNotSarah asks: How many tokens for an oiled foot massage?
"Sorry baby, like I said, tonight is a Q&A for UGWC Chill. Maybe tomorrow?
TotsNotSarah has logged off.
"Aw. Oh well. Next?"
UGWCFan asks: Both of you are known for being a part of a group of wrestlers. How does your mindset change as a part of this one-on-one matchup?
"This is always fun. People who can't see any further than the assholes their own noses are buried in. The fact is, until joining UGWC, I have been known primarily as a singles worker. I have been a singles champion for months. If anything, my career has been more successful as an individual that it has been as a team. Now, I know SOME people will just say 'Oh Roxy! That was in the MINOR LEAGUES! Now you're in the BIG TIME!' Because there are a lot of people on the autism spectrum due to all the heavy metals in vaccines. Duh. But listen, baby, EVERY place thinks they are the 'big leagues.' And everyone in all of those 'minor' companies tries just as hard as they do everywhere else. LAW was once considered THE place to be for women's wrestling. P10 was also a huge part of the scene. XWF, where I first got into a ring, has been around for nearly 20 years and has seen some of the sport's greatest talents on its roster at one time or another. My experiences outside of UGWC are every bit as relevant as those in it, and I've done just fine on my own. Why would that change now? Why would anyone think that just because I haven't been scheduled for a singles appearance until now that I can't do it? That literally makes no sense at all. When I signed the contract to be a part of No Holds Barred, it wasn't specifically for the Co-Op Championship match, it was just to be on the show. I would have LOVED to have a one on one match with Eden, but the bookers wanted her to defend the titles and they thought it would be a good way for she and I to square off again. They were right. Angie and I surprised literally everybody other than the two of us ourselves by walking out of there with the titles, and no the whole company is buzzing about the #CoolKids. Same shit, different company. We make waves. We turn heads. We win. Together or on our own. So how does my mindset change? It doesn't. I still look across the ring at Kem and see 500 pounds of shit stuffed into a 250 pound bag, just like I would if she had a partner standing next to her and I had Angie next to me. The only difference is that when she gets overwhelmed, runs out of breath, starts to have a heart attack, or needs a food break ten minutes into the match she won't have anyone to tag out to. Luckily for her ten minutes is probably the most she could possibly last in a wrestling ring against someone of my talent and athleticism, so she can probably go ahead and drop a whole rotisserie chicken into her portable fryer before the opening bell and get backstage just in time for it to come out of all the fatty oil golden brown and extra crispy, then unhinge her jaw like a boa constrictor and suck it all down her gullet while wiping away her tears of shame and failure all at the same time. Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll Mama Cass herself and choke to death on her half eaten dinner. Fingers crossed. Next?"
BigJohnson420 asks: What color do you relate to the most, and why?
"Ohhh, I like this question! Well baby, anyone who pays even a lick of attention to me in the ring... and who wouldn't want at least a tiny lick... knows that I work in purple gear. That's no accident. Purple is the color of my aura, because I was born to be royalty. It's also a color of spiritual balance, which makes total sense because I am completely #clear, unlike wannabes like Kem Dinosaur who have enough body thetans clinging to them to drag down a 747 mid trans-atlantic flight. Purple is warm and rich and sexy and beautiful, just like me. I wrap myself in dark purple velvet when I go to the ring because it makes me feel like my outward appearance matches my inner self... which Kem could probably do by wearing a KFC bucket or maybe a lawn sized garbage bag. What did she say to this question? Did you ask her too? I'd guess her favorite color was football field green, complete with the yard markers. Or maybe she just skips the subtlety and chooses moo cow brown so she can look like the massive pile of shit that she is. That would be the smarter choice so the world won't see all the bloodstains from the beating I give her on Chill. Honestly, I'm sorry to keep dragging you back to talking about Kem when you'd all definitely rather talk about literally anything else, but how dare she? Did you see the way she walked in the door to UGWC and called me out as if she owned the place just because she got lucky in a tournament TWO YEARS AGO? I won a championship in this company THIS WEEK and Pillsbury Dough Bitch thinks she can talk shit because she got her arm raised when Obama was still in office? Like, Sarah Lacklan won the same accolade as Kem did more recently, should I be worried that she's going to suddenly learn to walk again and come beat me up too? No! Things change. I've expanded my career and my #brand over those two years while Kem just expanded. So yeah. Purple."
ThickAndProud asks: Why are sticking to the low hanging fruit with Kem? Fat jokes? I thought you were #Woke?
"Oh hi mom. What, you don't like me focusing on her disgusting body? Well, then I guess she shouldn't be forcing everyone to look at her by being on camera. Maybe she can wear a muumuu to the ring, though I think she might need a third muu. A muumuumuu. Like the sounds she makes when she grazes. You want to know why I keep going for the low hanging fruit when it comes to Kem Diabetes? Because she doesn't have any higher branches. She's a shrub trying to reach up to the sky and steal my sunlight, but it's MINE. And when eager bitches decide to try and swerve out of their lanes and fly too close to the sun, they melt their wings and crash down to earth, where all their low hanging fruit lies around them rotting. Let me put it to you this way... Kem isn't a Dynamo, she's a Dime-A-Dozen, and on Chill she's going to get ground into the canvas by a bombshell's six-inch stiletto, because this world was made for the beautiful and we have no time for people like her. She wasn't invited to my party and she never will be. NEXT."
MoreLikeLeBORINGDeDieu asks: Are there any veterans in UGWC that you look up to, and are there any veterans within UGWC that you want to bring down a peg or two?
"That's easy because the answer to both questions is the same. Eden Morgan."
MoreLikeLeBORINGDeDieu asks: REALLY???
"What? Did you think I wouldn't give her the respect of saying I look up to her? I'd have to be stupid not to admire the things she's accomplished in this company. She blazed a trail and broken a glass ceiling, and in so doing she set the stage for REAL stars like me. Look baby, every story needs a beginning, and Eden Morgan was the beginning not only for UGWC but also for yours truly. I came here specifically because of her. I saw the successes she was enjoying with her weird gothy owl friends and I knew that she could be the perfect stepping stone... and I was RIGHT. Face it... any haters out there who watched UGWC No Holds Barred this weekend and decided to spout off at the mouth about how I didn't carry my own weight or how I let Maxine do all the work... all of them are just peanut butter and jealous because they didn't think I was smarter than Eden Morgan. They looked at her as some example of grace and brains and ability, and I smashed their little daydream into a million tiny bits like every mirror Kem Dynamo has ever looked into. A thousand points of light glinting off of every sliver, a billion reflections of my perfect face and beautiful smile. The face of the future. The hope of tomorrow. The ultimate result of evolution from Eden Morgan to Roxy Cotton."
Roxy pauses and plays with a stray lock of hair before tossing it back behind her shoulder.
"And for the record baby, I don't need to knock Eden down a peg. I already did."
Weaboo asks: Who was the better villain: Skeletor or Hordak?
"What is this? Who are these people?"
Weaboo asks: They are evil cartoon characters.
"I don't watch cartoons, I'm not five. How am I supposed to know? Which one is thinner?"
Weaboo asks: Well... they're both skeletons...
"WHICH ONE IS THINNER?"
Weaboo asks: Skeletor, I guess?
"Okay then. Him. He's the better one because society likes him better. It doesn't matter if you're a hero or a villain, because success is only skin deep. Who cares what anyone thinks or feels or wants or needs? I care about ME and what I DESERVE. Does that make me a villain? Maybe. And anyway so what if it does? History doesn't remember you for being good or being bad, it remembers you for being important. It remembers you for winning. It remembers you for making an impact. I did that by walking into UGWC and demanding a top tier contract, and then earning every penny of that contract. I could never have another match in UGWC and still have earned every single cent that they're paying me, because I brought star power and mainstream media coverage to a show that was lacking both. People pay attention when Roxy Cotton walks in the door. I should get a sponsorship from a neck brace company due to all the whiplash I cause among the thirsties who spin their jaws over their shoulders just to get a glimpse of me passing them by. If I'm a villain for living my best life then so be it. I'd rather be in demand as a villain than forgotten as a hero, like Kem Dumbo will be after I knock her off the UGWC roster for another 48 months."
Captain80sIsGay asks: You typically have Maxine by your side, and she's been known to interject herself into your matches, give you the advantage. Are you willing to leave her in the back, and take on Kem one on one?
"Okay first of all, how dare you? Captain 80s is 100% USDA prime MAN. Second of all... is Kem going to slim down to the size of one person or is it still going to be me in a handicap match against a double wide? Maxine is there to do her job. She protects me from danger OUTSIDE of matches. In the ring I take care of myself, but this is an unsafe business! People will do whatever they can to get an advantage on you. We just saw Vain try to set Eden on fire, right? And before that we saw Baal literally poison me and almost kill me. This is about protecting UGWC as much as it is myself anyway. Imagine if I got seriously injured because of something they allowed one of their employees to do during a show they were promoting? Imagine the massive settlement I'd win in a lawsuit, considering my amazing and expensive legal team? I heard rumors UGWC already had to renegotiate contracts with some of their lower-tier openers, like Kem, just to be able to afford my lucrative and well-deserved contract. Do you think they can afford to get dragged through a lawsuit for months on end while their most marketable star sits at home recuperating and continuing to cash their checks? I don't. So I protect my body, my livelihood, and in so doing I protect UGWC's heavy investment. You people in the media and my haters – by the way, quick shout out to my haters. Love you! … but you all paint this picture of my where I only think of myself and I'm not a team player. So there you go. I put UGWC and the fans high up on my priorities and I do what I can to ensure that the company that employs me is protected from me and my legal team. That's completely selfless of me yet here you are asking that question and trying to shine a negative light on me. How dare you!"
Captain80sIsGay asks: It's just that your partner Angie Vaughn has been very openly critical about Max interfering...
"Maxine doesn't interfere! She's doing her job! She is sanctioned by the UGWC to be at ringside for the purposes of protecting me from assault from anyone, whether they be in the locker room or in the crowd. Do you want me to end up like Selena? Dead from some crazy stalker fan? Do you know how many creepy DMs I get EVERY SINGLE DAY? No, of course you don't, how could you? You probably have like eleven followers. Well I have LOTS of followers, not just on Twitter with my new account since the last one got reported, but also on here and on #CoolTube and all my other socials. I'm in demand! Angie is getting there too but she's new to it. She looks up to me like an only very slightly older sister. She needs me to teach her about the world, and sometimes her naivety makes her get mad at me for things that I didn't actually do wrong. We worked it out. She knows where I'm coming from. She saw that the Court did to Max just a couple weeks ago too, and I know she wouldn't want to keep Maxine from getting payback for what they did to her. There are no problems between Angelica and I and we proved all our doubters wrong at No Holds Barred once and for all. No matter what happens going forward, WE were the ones who came in from the outside and took down the Court. I don’t like you. You're booted. NEXT!"
Captain80sIsGay has been booted from the chat
"Yay!"
TheDutchArePeople2 asks: Do you think Steve got a raw deal when he was allegedly forced off of Blue's Clues?
"Is anyone going to ask me, like, real questions tonight? I mean I just worked my ass off in the ring to win this championship and instead of taking a little while just to soak it in I came straight to my hotel room here and decided to give back to my fans... you'd think you'd make it a little more worth my time than asking me dumbass questions about kids' shows. I mean, you could ask me about the way I bruised my hip giving Jason Ingalls a Muff Diver onto the concrete floor. None of you have asked how I'm doing, have you? Typical. I'm fine, by the way. Just sore. Maxine was not only there to make sure I wasn't seriously injured but she's also running me a bath right now so I can soak my achy muscles and get right back to work in the morning without skipping a beat. This is just ONE DAY in my busy life, and I've already performed for thousands of people, then come back to my hotel to perform for hundreds more, then prepared to head off to meet with another company's representative about taking on even MORE of an active role. That's not even counting XWF administrative duties that I have to go through on my laptop before bed or getting to the Hit Girls practice field later this week to prepare for Friday's game, but please, by all means, waste my precious fucking time with this retarded question. I bet you asked Kem how she was feeling, and she hasn't competed in anything other than a hot dog eating contest in years. Don't worry, she won. Ugh."
TheDutchArePeople2 asks: So... was that a yes, or... ?
"Sure. Whatever. Justice for Steve. Never mind justice for Roxy, though, right? Never mind the fact that my life is in danger 24/7 because of my very public status and due to my extremely dangerous jobs. Maybe if I hosted a shitty show for babies you'd care about that, but not just when I'm fighting on top of steel cages and beating UGWC main eventers for their championships. Why would that be enough to gain any respect from any of you, right? Pay attention and pass this on to Kem as well... I've had FOUR matches in UGWC. Two of them were main events. One of them was a pay per view championship match. That all happened in 2018, not 2016. I am a champion in this company. I am a main attraction. I am the reason anyone is going to watch Chill. Nothing is standing between me and another victory except some cunt who needs a motorized cart when she goes shopping for bulk mayonnaise at the local Wal-Mart. Nothing is preventing me from walking out of the first ever UGWC Chill with a 1-0 record except for the fact that I have to figure out some way to lift a woman who weighs about the same as a small car up high enough to get her through a table. At least the table will break on the first try. Silver linings. At the end of the day, when all the dust settles and I'm standing in the center of the ring with my arm raised high and my Co-op Championship shining on my waist, the audience of the inaugural Chill will get to witness the beginning of an ascent. A divergence between two polar opposites. A beautiful, elegant, capable champion flying high into the sky, and a rotten morass from yesteryear with nothing left to look forward to but the day she gets sawed out of a trailer and lifted to freedom by a crane. You aren't gonna wanna miss it, baby. One more question, then I'm getting in my bubble bath."
FEARTHEC0URT asks: If you were to participate in the full-time Synergy roster, what title would you most hope to set your sights on?
"First off, LOL at your username. Is that you, Eden? Can't get enough of me or do you just miss your belt? It's happy next to my others, I'll take real good car of it don't worry sweetie. To answer the question though, why would I set my sights any lower than the UGWC Title itself? I'm the biggest draw in this company and I deserve to have my name in the brightest lights, right? Why settle? I mean, I could easily take the Cross-Hemisphere Title from whatever his name is, he's just a placeholder for someone talented anyway. Or I could ruin Aveline's whole thing and take the Chaos Title... I'm REALLY good at those, I have my own Chaos Title you know. But right now my focus is being the Co-Op Champions with Angie. She and I are the best team in UGWC and we proved it earlier tonight in front of a sellout crowd in the shittiest city in America. The #CoolKids have arrived in UGWC and all the men come to see us while the women want to be us. Most importantly... you can't sit with us. That's all you get tonight, sweeties. You're welcome."
Roxy blows a big kiss into the webcam and then leans forward, gripping thee top of her laptop and flipping it shut, ending everything back into black.
THE END