Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2018 19:17:52 GMT -5
Our roles are a little different, you a mentor and I a stablemate, but it sure feels like both of us are here to say the same thin’: “You saw what SHE can do, now let’s see what I can do”.
There’s a big difference though, and I’m not just talkin’ about this USDA-Prime Rump Roast right here. I’m talkin’ ‘bout how my friend, Kem, has whet the appetite of the #UnifiedUniverse and those who missed the free samples I passed around a couple years ago have even more reason to want to see how good this V can be.
(Spoiler Alert: AMAZIN’!)
On the other hand, whatever this decision for you to step up and strap the boots back on sure looks like “damage control” to me. It would’ve looked a lot more like givin’ Lizzie some time off of her feet if she had any actual reason to be tired. I didn’t go back and check the numbers, but I think YOU should be the one asking HER to fill in, since you were the one of the two that lasted more than a minute or so in the Massive Melee.
Speaking of Massive...AND Melee...Hi there. I’m Venus.
Go on. Do like everybody else does and take a good long look at the goddess standin’ here before you. Now, as you lift your jaw back up and remind yourself how it’s impolite to stare - not that I mind, it’s hard not to, I know, sweetie - ask yourself a simple little question:
“What’s the gameplan?”
How exactly are you gonna get this 280-pound embodiment of excellence on her back and keep her there for three whole seconds? How exactly are you gonna outwrestle someone who already has championship trophies sittin’ at home showin’ off how good a wrestler she is?
I’ll give you credit in advance, though. Men usually just assume they can manhandle me, like I became a heavyweight amateur wrestlin’ champion by being cute and cuddly, which I am but still. It’s fun takin’ a guy and showin’ him what it’s like to be “womanhandled”.
But girls are smarter. In this modern, progressive world of intergender wrestling being normal and common, girls train well in advance to expect to be undersized and have to use a speed advantage. You already saw me and said “I’m’a have to be QUICK in this one”.
Good for you. Go get it, girl. Run them laps. Get that cardio in. Orbit around me like I’m the mother-freakin’ SUN! Because sure enough, one of those times you’re gonna be tired from that impromptu CrossFit workout and you’re gonna forget who I am and you’re gonna do somethin’ STUPID like try to kick me or try to jump at me.
At that point, you’re just a mosquito that got a LITTLE too close to the zapper.
You think you can outsmart me? You think you got moves that I can’t catch and flip into suplexin’ you so hard that Lizzie’s back starts hurtin’ just from knowin’ you? My training partners are a “risk-averse luchador” and a fearless daredevil who’s so raw her strategy might as well involve a random.org sequence. That is what I practice catchin’ and facilitatin’ the crash landin’ of every damn day. You think you got moves I haven’t seen before?
That’s cute. Not as cute as me. But cute.
——————
Damn, it feels good to be Venus.
Lying in my bed feels nice, too. I roll onto my side and look over at my nightstand. My Kiwi kPhone X can’t get any rest. It’s nice that social media apps like Chirper and MySpace gives me a way to connect with my fans, but it’s a two-way street and with almost 27 million followers on Chirper alone, sometimes it feels like I could spend all day just reading the things people have to say about me.
But today is not one of those days. Today is gonna be a busy one. Most days are busy, actually. Being a supermodel already requires me to have pretty much a full-time schedule, but I also have to find time to train too as a professional wrestler. I’ve heard other supermodels wonder how I can do it, and I’ll admit it’s hard to maintain this super-sized figure when I can’t just spend my time off-camera eating like they do. But I love both of my lives, and I couldn’t imagine it any other way.
Accepting that I can’t waste any more of my morning or risk my personal assistant harassing me, I crawl out of bed and head into my closet. Obviously, I’ll need to wear something from Calvin Klein’s “Venus” fashion line, but before I get dressed, I take a moment to look in the full-length mirror.
They said I could never do it.
They said there’s no way anyone could become a supermodel when I’m only a size 20. And there was DEFINITELY no way I’d be able to be a successful model when I also have to have the muscles to be a professional wrestler. “That’s just not what most guys are looking for.”
Sure.
I unlock my kPhone and Googolplex myself. On the second page of results are already a couple examples of what I’m looking for: hack sites claiming to have “leaked images of Venus” that are clearly PictureShopped. But their existence proves the point I feel compelled to make to all those voices from my past. I may not be as big as other supermodels, but I am DEFINITELY someone everyone finds to be hot.
With a smile, I start to pick out my ensemble, but I remember that I have that photo shoot with Slink magazine for their “Role Models” issue. I lift my kPhone up to in front of my face.
”Hey Kylie...call ‘Assistant’”
The digital voice in my kPhone acknowledges and within a couple seconds, a human voice can be heard.
”Good morning, Jennifer!”
Being honest, it bothers me a little that my assistant insists on using my birth name. I’ve done such a good job of promoting myself by pseudonym that very few people even know my real name, Jennifer Ganymede. I guess she just wants to feel relevant, and I’ve never seen someone more dedicated to her job so it’s definitely something worth dealing with.
”Morning, Kem. Is there something in particular they want me to wear for the Slink shoot?”
”Yes, there is. They delivered it yesterday and I dropped it off last night. It’s downstairs. Don’t worry about the color. The photo shoot is gonna be black-and-white.”
I wince. Kem telling me “don’t worry” is always scary because she worries about EVERYTHING! Literally everything. I STILL give her shit for the “Entrance Music” incident.
Oh well, I guess nothing in this closet will be necessary.
The TV is on and running as I walk past the living room.
“So let’s get back to our top story this morning, where members of the Suzerainty Party led by Sidney Grey are up in arms and demanding President Boss Penguin face impeachment over a social media tirade that has become known as “The Niglet Chirps”. President Boss Penguin has defended the chirps, saying quote...actually, after editing his response for content, there is no discernible content left to quote. For more, we turn to his Chief of Human Resource, Robert Ooley for...”
Before I can get to the front room, I notice something in the kitchen that not only stops me on a tenth-piece, but takes up my complete attention such that I don’t even hear the TV anymore.
Ready for breakfast?
DAMN it feels good to be Venus.
I first met Ingrid Olivia Europa at a public speaking event I was doing at her college. She told me later she wanted to see me and hear my speech, but she also wanted so badly to not be seen by me or anyone. A lot of minus-sized people like her feel that way. That was the message I was there to spread, that the bullying and shaming of minus-sized girls had to stop! I hung around after my speech and she came up to me to thank me and I could tell it took every ounce of her courage to do that, so I insisted on taking her out on a date so she her bravery could be rewarded.
Turns out I’m the lucky one. She’s amazing.
”It’s not polite to stare...
Her smile promises that she’s not the least bit offended by my lack of manners. While I make zero attempt to look away, she turns and finishes plating the breakfast she prepared for both of us, then sets our plates down at the table. She stands in front of her chair then wiggles just enough to make sure I know she knows that I’m supposed to push her chair in, but she almost falls over for not realizing that I was already there. We both laugh, and I never stop enjoying how relaxed and confident she is when she’s around me.
If only the rest of the world would give “skinny girls” a chance.
Soooo...I know you have Chill tonight...but is there any chance I can convince to...you know, stay here and take it easy until tonight?
Looking her over once more - and noticing that she’s doing the same to me - it is an overwhelming temptation to fulfill her request. Haven’t I proven enough how great a role model I am?
Sigh.
God I want to, Io, but I HAVE to do this photo shoot and interview with Slink. I’m pretty sure even if I turned my phone off, Kem would find a way to make it ring until we just couldn’t take it anymore.
We share another laugh, one of knowing. She’s only known Kem since we’ve been together, but it doesn’t take long to figure out how...umm, “driven” she is.
But...
Ingrid, you need to stay here, just like this, just like you are right now. No matter how long I take, this is how I want you to be. We’ll go from there, and...once I’m done with you, I’ll take you to Chill.
Ingrid eyes lit up and she beamed, I hope from anticipation. I notice the time in the background and realize I’m running late. I’m not the least bit worried about the magazine staff. I’m fucking Venus. They can wait.
But Kem...the minute-by-minute “Are you okay? You’re not here so I’m worried” texts that will start in about a half-hour tops are plenty motivation for me.
As I finish eating, I hear the TV behind me.
“...ladies and gentlemen, it seems President Boss Penguin has been Chirping again this morning, and if you weren’t offended by ‘The Niglet Chirps’ then you may want to change the channel...”
God...how did THIS bird become president? Hillary wasn’t THAT bad, was she?
——————
(The following is an excerpt from a Slink Magazine interview between Elizabeth Blackwell, writer for Slink Magazine, and Venus, supermodel, professional wrestler, and anti-bullying advocate)
EB: Thank you for taking part in this special edition of Slink: the “Role Models” issue. So first off, why don’t you tell us what you think makes you a role model?
V: Thank you for havin’ me. I really don’t think about myself like that. I think tryin’ to be someone that will earn a positive reaction all the time just makes the whole thin’ disingenuous. I’m just a girl who believes thin’s should be a certain way and I’ve been lucky enough to have a platform where I can share those opinions with others.
EB: Why do you think it’s important to talk about bullying and female body issues?
V: Because we’re all human bein’s! It’s absolutely disgraceful the way girls and women are ostracized and victimized for somethin’ as ridiculous as “they don’t weigh enough”. At the formative years of female identity, we’re tellin’ girls that the only thin’ anyone’s goin’ to care about is their size. Schools, communities, peer groups...there are even mothers out there who are beggin’ their children to eat second helpin’s in hope that they’ll be pretty enough that when the state chooses their spouse, he or she will find them attractive enough to love. How insane is that?
EB: Are you saying you don’t support the State-Arranged Marriage system? Is that why you filed Volunteer Union paperwork with a minus-sized woman?
V: Woah, woah, woah. That’s a lot of big leaps there.
EB: I’m sorry. Let me rephrase that. What do you say in response to critics that say that you’re only interested in promoting this #NoPlusMinus campaign because you want to have a Volunteer Union with a minus-sized woman?
V: Honestly, I’ve faced critics all my life. If I worried about the negative comments people throw at me, I’d go insane. For every chirp from a youn’ girl who finds hope in my voice, there’re a dozen chauvinistic men sayin’ “stop tryin’ to be special and go eat somethin’”.
But to set the record straight, I believed and professed #NoPlusMinus before any of this stuff in my life happened. Before I signed my contract with Willendorf Modelin’, before I got signed by UGWC, before I met my fiancée. I only became someone to be silenced when my voice became loud enough to cut through the noise. And that’s okay. I’m not tryin’ to force thin’s to go the other way. I just want everyone to give everyone a chance to live their life.
EB: And why is this so important to you?
V: When I first started out, I noticed that I was just, you know, a stron’ person. A lot of girls couldn’t take the bullyin’ but I could. I even broke a few noses but don’t tell anyone. I just went from there and thought I could stand up for all the girls who couldn’t stand up for themselves. It killed me to imagine that a girl thought she was doomed in life because she was “minus-sized”.
But now, it’s kinda become more personal, you know? I mean, yeah, my fiancée and she’s a beautiful person inside and out and if I wasn’t fightin’ for open-mindedness and kindness I’d’ve never met her, and there’re SO many people like her that are worth Volunteerin’ with but we’re too thickheaded to see it. Now all of them are gonna turn 25 and get paired up by the state and maybe it’ll work or maybe it won’t, but I’m only 22 and about to already get to be married, and with the best woman I could’ve ever hoped for.
But it’s not just that. I get to be a model. I get to make art with my body. And I love wrestlin’ too. And I love my fiancée. I love my life, and the ENTIRE THIN’ is built on the willin’ness to believe in myself enough to take chances. I want THAT for everyone. I want EVERYONE to get to live a life they love. That’s really the goal.
—————
A loud sound snapped Jennifer out of her fantasy world. A split-second of brain processing later, and she realized the sound was the slamming of a car door outside in the hotel parking lot, not the slamming of the door to the room, signaling the return of Ingrid...
...or really anyone at this point.
The words of Maynard James Keenan came to her mind...
“Hope this is what you wanted. Hope this is what you had in mind. ‘Cause this is what you’re getting”
Jennifer did this to herself. She forced Ingrid to face the hopelessness of her unrequited feelings and what she got was the return of Io-Matua-Kore, the abusively dominant side of Ingrid that first came about when Melaina first confronted her about preparing her to perform as the Supreme Being for those who would learn to worship her, starting with the fat girl that already did.
But Jennifer underestimated how important having Ingrid’s psychotic biological mother around was for controlling her violent self-indulgence. In a twisted, Stockholmy way, Jennifer could handle and appreciate the restrained monster that Ingrid had been before. This time, there was no maternal figure. There was no one to focus her, to limit her, to stop her.
There was no one to save her.
Blindfolded and handcuffed to the bed on which she lay, Jennifer didn’t know exactly how long she had been in this Cleveland hotel room. It couldn’t be longer than a week, as she didn’t find herself in this predicament until the morning after Massive Melee. But, however long it’d been was long enough for Jennifer’s mind to be able to create an immersive fantasy world where the more things differentiated from the reality she knew, the more they made sense. Feeling the most twisted form of buyer’s remorse, right now Jennifer wanted more than anything to disappear completely into the bizarro world in her mind.
But there was no escaping her fate. The woman that she loved, even in this broken predatory state, was just as deep in her mind as her fantasies. And there was no greater evidence than this: Jennifer’s dream world revolved around the last thing Ingrid told her, the last time Jennifer had interacted with reality...
Jen, you need to stay here, just like this, just like you are right now. No matter how long I take, this is how I want you to be. We’ll go from there, and once I’m done with you, I’ll take you to Chill.
