Post by Zane on Aug 17, 2018 20:18:46 GMT -5
Windy City WrestleLegion
St. Paul RiverCentre
St. Paul, Minnesota
3:45 pm
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to WrestleLegion 2018!!!”
The host receives a raucous cheer in return for his greeting. He walks out to center stage and bows before he settles in front of one of the two chairs that are set up on the stage. He brushes his short dark hair from his young face and flashes a bright smile at the room. He’s adorned in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt that has a clock face and various images over it. He looks down at his shirt and adjusts the mic that’s clipped to his collar.
“It’s great to see all of you here and we at the ‘Squared Circle Church’ have had an outstanding time with all of you congregants as we celebrate our love of wrestling. Speaking of our love, this coming Monday Unified Global Wrestling Coalition is in town for ‘Day of Reckoning’.”
The room explodes into loud applause, which the host plays up to. The room settles after a couple of minutes and the host flashes his radiant smile at the room.
“As you all know, I’m Sam King and I’ll be your minister for the afternoon.” He continues.
The fans respond with another deafening cheer, which the host plays up by waving his arms up and down. He looks out over the crowd and holds his right hand up, palm out. The crowd slowly goes silent and he smiles.
“Congregants, we have a very special guest for you today.” He states. “In anticipation of ‘Day of Reckoning’ we at The Church have invited a very special guest. Our guest is a three-time World Heavyweight Champion, a two-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion and has held every championship in UGWC. He became the only Triple Champion in company history when he held the World Heavyweight Championship, the Chaos Championship and the Co-Operative Championship at once.”
He pauses to take a breath and then smiles.
“This Monday at ‘Day of Reckoning’ he faces three of the greatest talents who are currently in UGWC” He explains. “At ‘Day of Reckoning’ he fights to become a four-time World Heavyweight Champion and three-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion when he challenges current World Champion Lucy Wylde, current Cross-Hemisphere Champion Magdalena Lockheart and the second-longest reigning World Champion in UGWC history, “Vain” Alan Wallace in a ‘Tables, Ladders and Chairs’ match!”
The fans erupt into loud and alternating chants of “PAR-A-DOX” and “PAIN THRIL-LER”. Sam smiles and raises his arms.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I GIVE YOU “THE PARADOX” ZAAAAANE SCOOOOOTTTT!!!”
“Nasty” by The Prodigy blares through the room. Seconds later, Zane strolls out onto stage wearing a “Syndicate” t-shirt, jeans and black boots. He walks out and shakes hands with Sam before he walks to the front of the stage and raises his arms to a largely positive response, although there are a few scattered boos. Sam looks slightly embarrassed by the booing, but Zane smiles and acknowledges them. Zane finally bows to the fans, then turns and walks over to the chair that’s been put out for him. He picks up the mic from the chair and affixes it to his shirt, then sits down and looks at Sam.
“Dude, I’m sorry about the booing.” He says, apologetically. “Although the cheers are far louder.”
Zane smiles and shakes his head.
“Don’t worry about it.” He replies. “I spent five years earning those boos. I don’t expect the fans to forgive me for every heinous thing that I did in two and a half. It’s a bit of a cliche to say this, but it’s true that these people pay their hard-earned money to watch me do what I do. If they want to boo me, I’m not going to complain about it.”
He pauses for a moment and wistfully smiles.
“I spent all of two-thousand and sixteen wishing that I could hear them in person again.” He replies. “Any reaction from the fans, except for silence, is music to my ears now.”
The fans respond with cheers again while Sam smiles and claps for him. Zane nods his head and takes a drink from the open bottle of water that sits to his right. The two exchange brief conversation that the mics don’t pick up before Sam holds his hand up to quiet the fans again.
“Speaking of your knee,” Sam asks. “How has it been? You had to miss a Synergy a couple of weeks ago, but you’ve seemed fine since.”
Zane nods his head.
“It’s no big secret that I live with pain in it day in and day out.” He explains. “At this point I’m used to it. What happened was that I landed poorly on my foot and another wrestler and it tweaked it a bit. It’s been fine since I took that week off.”
A somewhat devilish smile spreads on Sam’s face.
“Some have argued that your knee was hurt because of who you landed on.” He says. “What do you say to that.”
Zane responds to the question with a cold glare.
“I’m sorry I asked.” Sam says as he holds up his hands defensively. “Moving on.”
Zane raises his right hand.
“No.” He replies. “Not ‘moving on’. This needs to be addressed.”
“Ok then.” Sam says as he extends his arm towards Zane in a “continue” gesture.
“Thanks.” Zane says with a nod. “The truth of the matter is that landing on anyone would have tweaked my knee. It had nothing to do with who I landed on and I’m more than a little tired of the incessant fat jokes that are made about Kem Dynamo.”
Sam’s eyes widen at the ferocity of Zane’s tone and he holds his hands up defensively again. Zane takes a drink and sits back in his chair.
“I’m not angry at you for asking.” Zane explains. “But I honestly find the constant bullying and body-shaming that she’s subjected to to be childish and tiring. Regardless of what one thinks of her appearance, Ms. Dynamo is an extremely talented young wrestler with a bright future and people only mock her appearance because they can’t mock her in-ring skills.”
Sam looks surprised by Zane’s response and nods his head a couple of times.
“That was...informative.” He replies. “I wasn’t expecting such an...energetic response about that. Do you feel that way because you feel as if you were bullied at one time?”
Zane shakes his head.
“No.” He replies. “I wasn’t bullied. I was a miserable and vicious prick with one obvious weakness and people took advantage of it. I wasn’t and I’m not a victim of any kind. I was an asshole to people and people were assholes back, pardon my language. That’s how life works.”
“But that’s not what’s happening to Kem?” Sam asks.
“No.” Zane replies. “Kem wasn’t the most pleasant person in the world when she returned to the company a few months ago, but she’s changed a lot in the meantime and even if one finds her personality to be grating, it’s not an excuse to constantly bully her as she is subjected to.”
Sam nods and the crowd cheers and applauds Zane’s response. He takes another drink from his water and smiles. Sam waits for the cheers to die down a bit and looks at him.
“Where’s your assistant?” He asks. “We were hoping to see him.”
Zane smiles.
“Larry is busy.” He replies. “He’ll be here tomorrow. He’d probably freeze in terror in a room that has this many people in it anyway.”
“He’s an interesting guy.” Sam replies with a smile.
“Yeah.” Zane answers. “He is, but he’s a great guy and an incredibly thorough personal assistant.”
The two men pause and Zane smiles as a loud “LAR-RY!! LAR-RY!!” chant breaks out. Zame stands up and aggressively raises and lowers his arms to encourage it. It goes on for a few minutes before Sam holds his hand up and the crowd quiets down. Zane returns to his seat and looks at him.
“Maybe one day we’ll interview him.” He says.
“I’m sure he’d enjoy that.” Zane replies with a smile.
“Good.” Sam answers. “But enough smallish talk. You have an enormous challenge coming up on Monday at ‘Day of Reckoning’. How do you feel about it?”
Zane smiles widely.
“I’m excited.” He replies. “Even if I didn’t have the opportunity to walk out with the World Heavyweight Championship and the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, I’d still be fired up because of who I’m facing.”
Same nods and takes a drink from a small glass that sits to his left. He holds it up to a cheer, then takes a sip from it and places it back down.
“Would you care to elaborate?” He asks.
“Sure.” Zane says with a nod. “One a purely talent level, Alan, Lucy and Magdalena are three of the most gifted people I’ve ever been in a wrestling ring with.”
“But?” Sam asks.
“But...” Zane says with a pause. “Lucy hasn’t been herself lately. She’s vacillating between condescending, angry, arrogant and aggressive and calm and generally polite.”
“Except for that shade she threw at you on Twitter a couple of days ago.” Sam says with a grin.
Zane shrugs.
“The ‘as you know I’m always at my best’ remark?” Zane asks. “Yeah, I took that to be a bit mocking dig at me, but if it was that’s fine. She and I have quite a history in the ring and she was the person to take the World Championship off of me, even if she pinned Phrixus Deimos to do it. So if she wants to take digs at me for that, fine. She can.”
“And if it wasn’t a dig?” Sam asks.
“Then it was a poorly phrased gloat.” Zane replies with a shrug. “And that’s fine. She can gloat. I prefer to win.”
Sam replies by raising his eyebrows in surprise.
“It sounds like you two have a little heat.” He says.
“No.” Zane replies. “We don’t. I will say that her ‘holier than thou’ routine on Twitter was...tiring. The quickest way to lose the respect of your peers to to act like you’re better than they are.”
“She has the World Heavyweight Championship.” Sam offers. “Doesn’t that make her better than you?”
Zane shrugs.
“Not necessarily.” He replies. “I’ll be the first to say that my last run as World Champion was disappointing. Her’s started off hot but has slowed down and because her life has become one enormous soap opera, her reign is bordering on embarrassing now. Especially that ‘do you know who I am, ‘get me another drink you worthless nobody’ routine that she pulled in that bar last week.”
A few people in the crowd respond negatively, although it’s impossible to tell if the reaction is towards his words or the incident that he’d just described. Sam looks at the crowd and then back at Zane.
“The fans don’t see to like what you said.” He says.
“Maybe not.” Zane replies. “But I didn’t say what I said to insult Lucy just for the sake of insulting her. In fact, I’m not trying to insult her at all. I’m merely pointing out that when one walks into a public place, throws their being World Champion around like their shit doesn’t stink, threatens the bartender and then tells them that the only way that they’ll leave is when the police drag them out, they’re not acting like a World Champion.”
Sam whistles at Zane’s response.
“Are you saying that you always acted perfectly as World Champion?” He asks.
“Not when I was younger.” Zane replies. “But I didn’t tell people that I’d only leave their establishments when the police dragged me out. Her job as World Champion is to resemble UGWC with dignity and poise. She’s been good at it in the past, but lately she’s been slipping.”
“Why do you think that is?” Sam asks.
“I don’t know.” Zane replies. “I will say that there appears to be something going on inside of her head right now and it’s not healthy. One doesn’t vacillate between such extremes in personality when everything is OK. Lucy went through a lot not too long ago and never really did anything to even begin to deal with it. She watched her mother stab her father to death in front of her after he’d spent weeks physically, mentally and emotionally torturing her as his prisoner. The son of a bitch threatened to kill Lucy’s other sister in front of her just because he could. I don’t mourn him or what happened to him at his wife’s hands, he deserved it, but at the same time it has to have had a profound effect on Lucy and I’m sure it still does, no matter what she says.”
He pauses and takes a drink from his water.
“On top of that, the apparent end of her relationship with Magdalena seems to be exacerbating it. Lucy is a top flight athlete and wrestler and I respect her in ring ability, but no matter what she says, she’s not focused right now. No champion, especially the World Champion, can walk into a defense, especially not one against so many dangerous opponents, with such divided attentions. It’s the quickest way to lose.”
Sam nods and takes another drink from his glass.
“Will you show her any mercy during the match because of that?” He asks.
“No.” Zane replies with a shake of his head. “I can’t during the match, but if she wants to talk about it or find someone to talk to about it, I can help her out. During the match my focus can only be on winning and reclaiming both of the Championships that are on the line.”
Sam nods and waits as a few fans clap.
“Speaking of Miss Lockheart,” He says.”What do you think of her?”
Zane shakes his head and lets out a loud exhale that draws a confused and somewhat surprised look from Sam.
“Not a fan?” He asks.
“It’s not that.” Zane replies with a wave. “In terms of raw talent both in the ring and on the mic, she’s extremely gifted. The thing that everyone forgets is how inexperienced she is. Yes, she’s the Cross-Hemisphere Champion and she recently won the ‘Monarchy of Anarchy’ tournament. Neither of those accomplishments are things to scoff at.”
“Unless you’re Holden Orson.” Sam interjects.
“Of course.” Zane replies with a chuckle. “But he’d scoff a winning the lottery because it’s ‘too mainstream’.”
“True.” Sam says with a grin as he points at Zane in agreement. “So what is it about Magdalena that bothers you?”
Zane responds with a sigh and runs his right hand through his shiny black hair.
“It’s not so much that anything in particular that she does bothers me.” He replies. “It’s that she’s generally immature and she acts like she’s both a victim of the world and someone who’s owed something by it.”
“Maybe it does owe her something.” Sam replies. “She appears to feel like it owes her respect.”
Zane rolls his eyes.
“Yes, and that’s bullshit.” He replies. “Magdalena has done an incredible job earning the respect of the locker room since she arrived in UGWC. She’s accomplished a lot in an extremely short amount of time and I certainly don’t begrudge her that. It’s impressive. That said, if she thinks that anyone owes her anything, she’s showing her inexperience.”
“That’s fair I suppose.” Sam replies. “A couple of days ago she accused of of...fellating Alan Wallace on Twitter.”
“Yes she did.” Zane replies with a grunt. “And for someone who claims to be ‘The Future’ and for someone who carries one of the most prestigious championships in all of wrestling, a championship that I have proudly carried twice in my career, for her to resort to that sort of childish and lowbrow dig is frankly beneath anyone who has ever carried or will ever carry the Cross-Hemisphere Championship.”
He pauses and takes a drink from his water.
“And it should certainly be beneath the person who carries the Cross-Hemisphere Championship now.” He explains. “Although it clearly isn’t.”
“I see.” Sam replies.
“One more thing...” Zane says, his voice controlled yet clearly disgusted.
“If the person who holds the Cross-Hemisphere Championship now is too immature to hold that championship without making a mockery of it, then she certainly doesn’t deserve to hold the World Championship.”
Sam emits a low whistle at Zane’s scathing response and it draws a few “ooooohs”, a couple of boos and a lot of clapping and cheers from the fans. Zane takes a deep breath and then a drink from his bottled water as his slightly reddened face returns to its normal color.
“Last, but certainly not least, what about Alan Wallace?” He asks. “Are you wearing your ‘Syndicate’ shirt as an attempt at playing a mind game with him?”
Zane nods his head a couple of times and smiles.
“No.” He replies. “I’m wearing it because it’s comfortable and still for sale on ‘UGWC Shop’. Every shirt sold means royalties checks for me, so why not shill them now and then?”
He flashes a smile and runs his hand across the shirt as if he’s modeling it. Sam and the fans both laugh along with him.
“Very good.” Sam says. “Remember that, congregants. Buy the shirt!”
They all share another laugh before Sam turns and his expression becomes serious again.
“Back to Alan Wallace.” He says. “Given how he’s treated you over the past few weeks, have your feelings about him changed?”
Zane replies with a chuckle.
“No.” He replies.”I still respect the hell out of Alan Wallace and I more than anyone in this match knows what’s capable of and how dangerous he is.”
Sam shakes his hand and points at the video screen that’s behind them. Seconds later an image of Wallace poking Zane in the eye appears on the screen. Zane laughs when the image comes up as the fans boo.
“What about that?” Sam asks. “He says that you’re one of the people ‘he respects the most in the business’, but then he does that. Your response to that was pretty calm.”
Zane laughs again.
“Not at first.” He replies. “I was pretty pissed off right after he did it.”
“You’re not now?” Sam asks.
“No.” Zane replies. “But that’s because I choose not to be. Anger is distracting. If I go into a match as important and potentially career defining as this one is and I do it clouded by fury over anything, I’m going to lose. Anger has been my Achilles heel throughout my entire career and everyone knows it, especially Alan. If I go into Monday night stewing over him taking a shortcut to beat me two weeks ago, he’ll see it, he’ll play on it and he’ll use it against me. Think what you want about him, but Alan Wallace is one of the smartest and most calculating people in the business.”
Sam raises his eyebrows at the response.
“That’s very complimentary to someone who clearly doesn’t respect you or take you seriously.”
Zane laughs at the statement.
“Well, knowing Alan I think it’s safe to say that whether Alan respects a person or not, he’ll do what he has to in order to win. Maybe it’s a weakness of mine now, but I choose not to do that. I want to win because I deserved to win, not because I was willing to take shortcuts to win when I couldn’t get it done on my own.”
The crowd responds with a loud “oohhhhh” which Zane grins snidely at.
“It’s true.” He continues. “Listen, the simple truth is that Alan has the talent to win any match on talent alone. Anyone who believes otherwise as an idiot. In spite of that, he’s so desperate to prove to everyone that he’s as great as he was when he held the World Championship for what’s now the second greatest run in UGWC history that he feels that any means to that end are acceptable.”
Zane pauses and takes a drink from his water as a murmur makes its way around the crowd. He places the bottle down and looks back at Sam.
“The sad thing about that is that every time he takes a shortcut in order to win, he betrays his own incredible legacy. If he wants to do that, no one can stop him.”
“I’d rather win because I actually earned it.”
Sam responds with a low whistle.
“So if you do win, would you do what you’ve always said you’d do and give him a shot at the World Championship?”
Zane nods.
“Of course I would.” He replies. “I can’t call myself one of the greatest ever until I beat Alan for the World Championship one on one. I’d say the same about Travis Roberts if he was around, but he’s not.”
“In the end, I have nothing but respect for Alan Wallace.” Zane explains. “He’s one of the few people in this industry that I actually like. In spite of that, I’m going to beat him on Monday. It’s not personal. It’s necessary.”
Sam nods his head in response.
“Well on that note, are you up for some fan questions?” He asks.
“Sure.” Zane replies with a nod.
“Excellent!” Sam replies. “Hold your hand up if you have a question and stand up when I call on you.”
Sam looks around the room as a forest worth of hands shoots up around the room. He scans the crowd and eventually points to a young man in a navy blue “WrestleLegion” t-shirt. The baby faced young man smiles sheepishly.
“Hi. I’m Clay.”
“Hi, Clay.” Sam replies.
“Hey man.” Zane answers. “What’s your question?”
Clay runs his hand over his long blonde hair and smiles nervously.
“Uhhh.” He says. “If you become a double champion, how will your reign mean more than your historical triple champion reign?”
Zane nods and smiles.
“Great question, Clay.” He responds. “It’s hard to touch how special and amazing winning and holding three championships at once was. I never imagined that I would achieve an accomplishment so great that no one in the incredible history of this company had ever done. My teacher Dirge never did it. The greatest World Champion ever, Donovan Hastings never did it. The most physically gifted man in UGWC history, Jet Somers never did it. The most impactful female talent ever, Eden Morgan never did it. The longest reigning World Champion ever, Travis Roberts never did it.”
He pauses and flashes a devilish smile.
“Vain” Alan Wallace never did it, just in case anyone forgot.”
Another loud “ohhhh” ripples around the room and both Zane and Sam laugh.
“Those sound like fighting words.” Sam says with a grin.
Zane gives a quick thumbs up.
“Make no mistake, I respect each and every person that I just mentioned.” Zane explains. “Without them, there would be no Zane Scott. Without them, I wouldn’t be driven to achieve the greatness that I aspire to. Without them, there would be no bar for me to clear. They’re the cornerstone of UGWC and one day, I will stand shoulder to shoulder with them in the Hall of Fame.”
Sam nods his head as some applause ripples through the crowd.
“In spite of all of that, and in spite of being the only Triple-Champion in the history of UGWC, Zane Scott was fatally flawed.
Sam’s looks at Zane, clearly confused by his statement.
“Flawed’?” He asks. “You have one of the greatest resumes of any talent in the history of UGWC. What ‘flaw’ are you talking about?”
Zane smiles.
“I’m glad you asked.” He replies. “That Zane Scott was burdened, if not crippled by self-doubt. He was crippled by long-held bitterness about his past. He craved approval and he was obsessed with the respect of others. He was indolent and willing to let others decide his path for him. He was complacent.”
He pauses and takes a drink.
“He felt that he was worthless without those championships.”
“Worst of all, he was crippled by anger that he never learned to let go of.”
He smiles.
“That was then. This is now.”
He raises his right hand and brushes his hair back from his face, pushing it behind his ears and over the back of his head.
“In case everyone hasn’t figured it out yet…”
He flashes a confident smile.
“I’m not that Zane Scott anymore.”
A smattering of applause rings through the room. Zane nods his head and continues his answer.
“I realize that that was a long way of getting to the answer for the question that you just asked me, but context is important. People always like to talk about their motivations. Some are as simple as Magdalena’s, who wants to prove that she belongs in the upper echelon with wrestlers such as myself and Alan Wallace. Others are more complicated, like Alan, who wants to prove to everyone, and more importantly to himself that he’s still relevant to the business and this company. My motivations weren’t and aren’t as straight forward and they needed to be enumerated.”
Sam nods his head and smiles.
“That’s fair.” He says with a chuckle. “Your career, hell your life has never exactly been simple.”
Zane grins and laughs in response. He shakes his head in reply and runs his right hand through his long black hair, pushing it away from his face and back over his head again.
“Isn’t that the truth.” He replies with a smile.
He pauses and takes a drink from his water, then looks back at Sam.
“In spite of all of that and in spite of how much being the only Triple-Champion ever has meant to me, this[/b] reign as Double-Champion will be infinitely more special.”
“Why is that?” Sam asks.
Zane smiles.
“That’s simple.” He replies with a shrug. “When it happens this time, I’ll be doing so as something that I haven’t at any time in my career, or for that matter for my entire life...”
“What’s that?” Sam asks, clearly curious.
“I’ll be doing so as a free man.” Zane replies bluntly.
Zane’s response clearly baffles Sam, as he sits in dumbfounded silence for a few seconds.
“I’m afraid that I’m not following.” He replies. “‘Free man’? How? You haven’t been under Dirge’s thumb for years.”
Zane waves a dismissive hand.
“That’s not exactly what I meant.” He replies. “Although it does factor into it a little. What I mean by ‘free man’ is more a statement about my mind and emotional state.”
“Ok.” Sam replies. “Care to elaborate?”
Zane nods in reply and looks out over the crowd before he turns it back to Sam.
“When I win the two greatest Championships in the history of professional wrestling at “Day of Reckoning” I’ll hold them as the wrestler and as the man that I was always meant to be. I’ll claim and carry those championships as a man who is free of every anchor that ever held him down. I’ll carry them as the man who will be driven by his love of professional wrestling and more importantly by his love of the Unified Global Wrestling Coalition. I’ll carry them with pride, with honor and with the understanding that the destiny that carries me to that point comes with a responsibility that is second to none anywhere in the universe.”
“I’ve said in the past that I want to be the man who takes this company into the future. I want to be the man who elevates this company to new heights of greatness. I want to be the man who is spoken of in the seam breath as all of the great World Champions, Hall of Fame members and future Hall of Fame members that I mentioned earlier.”
He looks Sam dead in his eyes and holds it there intently for a moment, then turns toward the audience.
“I want to be the man whose name is synonymous with professional wrestling when I retire.”
“THAT is why I must become a Double-Champion at “Day of Reckoning”.
“THAT is why becoming Double Champion will mean more to me than my historic reign as Triple-Champion did.”
Sam nods, takes a breath and smiles as Zane sits in his chair with a calm and measured expression on his face. Some of the fans respond with applause and cheers, while other are more subdued in their responses. Same notices this and looks at Zane with a smile.
“The crowd seems split on that.” He says.
Zane smiles in return.
“They’re entitled to their feelings and opinions.” He replies. “All I can do is work as hard as I can to change their minds.”
Sam nods in reply and looks out over the audience. He notices another young man who’s decked out in an… unusual costume as he has a pink singlet on that’s topped off with a pointed wizard hat. His raised hand has a toy wand in it. Sam sees him, smiles and points at him.
“You! What’s your name and question?” He asks.
The man hops up and down in excitement and rapidly claps his hands together. Some of the people in the crowd laugh at him, while other roll their eyes.
“Yay!“ The fan says in an uncomfortably excited tone as he continues to jump up and down and clap. “My name is ‘Huffle My Puff’.”
Both Zane and Sam respond to this revelation with stupefied confusion before they turn and look at each other. Sam asks him if he wants to answer whatever the “colorful fellow’s” question is. Zane looks at “Huffle My Puff”, then looks at Sam, shrugs and nods.
“Huffle My Puff’”? Zane asks with a slightly elevated eyebrow. “What does that even mean?”
“I have no idea.” Sam replies.”I can find out.”
Zane lifts up his left hand and waves the question off with a slightly disturbed wince.
“No. We want to keep this a basically family friendly show” He replies. “I have a feeling that his explanation of his name could change get your channel demonetized.”
Sam shakes his head in agreement and points at Zane.
“Very true!” He replies with a smile. “What’s your question, ‘Huffle My Puff’.”
“Huffle” jumps up and down in his seat again as the person with the mic walks up to him. When the dark haired young lady reaches him, Huffle practically jumps over the five people to his right and onto her to get near the mic. The entire interaction is odd and more than a little disconcerting, but ultimately not potential assault. He finally gets to her and she holds the mic up to him while leaning back as if he’s a leper who’s trying to give her mouth to mouth.
“If you had to sort yourself and your opponents each into a different Hogwarts house, explain which ones that you’d place them in and your reasoning for why.”
Zane blinks at the question, clearly taken off guard by it. Sam’s response is momentary silence, followed by shaking his head.
“I know what that is.” Zane replies. “And I’m still a little...disturbed by his outfit. He looks like a wizard exploded inside a wrestling school and resurrected in a singlet that was made for Liberace.”
Both Sam and the fans burst out laughing at Zane’s response.
“I hope that you’re not offended if I don’t see you as a ‘Harry Potter’ kind of guy.” Huffle says.
Sam manages to reign himself in and looks at Zane as he wipes his eyes. Zane looks at Huffle with a grin.
“I’m not.” He replies. “I doubt that anyone thinks that I sit by the fire and read ‘Harry Potter’ when I want to relax.”
Sam raises an eyebrow of amusement in response.
“That’s an interesting mental image.” He replies with a lopsided smile. “I presume that doesn’t include bunny slippers?”
Zane replies with a mischievous smile.
“And if it did?” He replies. “Don’t judge...bunny slippers are awesome.”
Sam bursts out laughing again, this time a bit more uncontrollably than before. For his part, Zane just sits quietly and calmly in his chair and takes a drink from his glass.
“Are you Ok?” Zane says as Sam sits in his chair doubled over from laughter.
Zane declines his head and his smile remains in place. He raises it and opens his mouth to speak when the two are interrupted by a sudden burst of cheering and applause from the audience. The two look at each other in confusion before Sam looks past Zane and stands up.
“Were you expecting someone?” Zane asks.
Sam points off stage and begins to clap along with the audience. Zane sits in confusion for a moment before he turns and looks over his shoulder.
“Oh Christ...” He replies as he puts his hand on his face.
The view widens to reveal Creative Director Donovan Hastings as ambles up to Zane with a small dish of ice cream in hand. He’s decked out in full “Lord of Creative Pain” attire as he has his comically large, “Captain Crunch” looking “Captain’s Hat”, a royal blue shirt, expensive looking black pants and a his purple silk “Lord” cape, which is fluttering around him as he walks. He places the spoon down and scoops out a small bit, places it in his mouth and proceeds to chew it.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the UGWC Creative Director” and former Co-Operative partner in ‘Pain and Paradox’, ‘Lord’ Donovan Hastings!!”
The fans give Donovan a thunderous standing ovation, which he seems to be momentarily oblivious to as he keeps enjoying his ice cream.
“Donovan...” Zane says.
Donovan looks at him and scoops out another spoon of ice cream, then holds the cup out to the two incredibly bewildered men.
“Strawberry.” He replies. “I wanted Black Cherry Jello, but the concession stand didn’t have it.”
He punctuates his unnecessary exposition with a frown.
“Uncultured peasants.” He says with disdain. “Want some?”
Sam looks stupefied at Donovan while Zane just shakes his head. Donovan places his spoon into his ice cream and reaches up so that he can push his absurdly large and blue, Captain Crunch style hat, which has a gigantic red “C” on it back on his head. Once he’s satisfied with how it’s positioned, he resumes eating his ice cream.
“Uncultured peasants?” Sam asks. “Why would I want that? Is it normal for you ask that kind of question?”
Donovan raises an eyebrow in annoyance and looks at Zane.
“Is he always like this?” He asks.
Zane shrugs and sighs.
“Like what?” He asks.
“Asking for uncultured peasants.” Donovan replies. “Why would I keep uncultured peasants here? Slavery is illegal and indentured servitude is frowned upon. Besides, cultured peasants would be better. They can do more.”
Zane shakes his head and face palms again.
“I’m positive that indentured servitude is illegal too.” He replies through his fingers. “And I’m not certain that I want to address the rest of that...”
“Is it?” Donovan asks, clearly confused and slightly miffed at the answer. “That’s disappointing.”
“Yes.” Zane replies as he lowers his hand.
Sam blinks at Donovan, still blatantly confounded by the ever eccentric Creative Director.
“Not to be rude, sir.” He says. “But can we help you with something?”
“No.” Donovan replies as he munches on another mouthful of strawberry ice cream. “I just wanted to pop in and say ‘hi’. I thought I could offer moral support to our future Double Champion.”
Zane chuckles in response.
“Thanks.” He replies.
Donovan nods.
“Don’t mention it.” He replies. “Can someone get ‘The Creative Lord’ a chair?”
He pauses for a moment.
“Maybe you have a cultured peasant here who and provide one.” He remarks. “Although in a pinch, an uncultured one will do.”
Sam stares blankly at him for a moment and then around the room.
“Can someone get ‘Creative Director’ Hastings a chair?” He stammers out.
The next few moments can only be described as mildly ordered chaos as attendants scramble around off camera. Zane watches this, clearly not surprised by the sudden entropy that’s unfolding around him as Donovan continues to calmly enjoy his ice cream. After a few moments and an awful lot of off camera noise, an attendant finally scrambled into view with a black seated stool and places it down to Zane’s left. Donovan inspects is and looks at Zane.
“Do you think he put it down facing in the right direction?” He asks.
Zane blinks in reply.
“Right... direction?” He asks slowly, as if he’s not sure that he was just asked that question.
“Yes.” Donovan replies. “Right direction. If you place a chair down in some video games and it’s positioned wrong, you sit facing the wrong way. It wouldn’t be at all acceptable or helpful if everyone’s favorite ‘Lord Chief” spent the entire interview staring at the wall.”
Zans sits and stares blankly at Donovan for a few moments while Gray’s mouth drops open in such an exaggerated manner that he resembles a muppet. After a few moments of this, Donovan pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket, leans across and pushes Sam’s mouth closed before he holds it out for an off camera attendant to take. Zane finally shakes his head and rubs his knuckles over his eyes.
“It really disturbs me that there are still times when I can’t tell whether you’re being serious or not.” He says wearily.
Donovan pauses in devouring his seemingly never ending cup of ice cream and flashes Zane a quick toothy smile, then resumes negating the existence of his sweet and sugary snack. Donovan turns and looks at Sam, who just shrugs at him and shakes his head in befuddlement.
“Moving on.” Sam continues. “Circling back around to the ‘Harry Potter’ question. Who belongs in which house and why?”
Zane shrugs and looks at his phone.
“I honestly don’t know anymore about ‘Harry Potter’ than I did before Donovan walked onto the stage.” He explains.
Donovan pauses and looks quizzically at Zane.
“‘Harry Potter’?” He asks.
Zane shakes his head.
“Yes.” He says as he points out at the crowd. “Mr. ‘Huffle My Puff’ asked it.”
Donovan looks out over the audience at the man in the singlet and wizard hat. He lifts up the spoon and points it at the eccentric fan.
“Your hat game is strong, Mr. Pug.” He replies. “The ‘Lord Chief of Creative Pain’ approves.”
“Puff, Donovan.” Zane replies.
“What?” Donovan asks.
“His...name...is ‘Huffle My Puff’.” Zane explains.
“What’s what I called him, Mr. Pug.” He replies.
“Puff.” Zane retorts.
“That’s what I said.” Donovan replies.
“Moving on.” Zane replies. “As far as the Houses go, can someone give me a run down of what each one stands for.”
Donovan’s eyes light up he he slaps Zane on the shoulder.
“I can do that!” He exclaims. “My twins love Larry Palmer!”
Sam and the crowd all respond with dumbfounded silence as Zane looks forlornly down at the stage.
“This is going to go about as well as the maiden voyage of the Titanic…” He says to no one in particular.
Sam and the fans all look at him and once, then burst out into hysterical laughter. This goes on for a good two minutes while Donovan attempts to calm a clearly distressed Zane by explaining why he’s the only choice to explain the intricacies of J.K. Rowling’s world famous novel series.
“Seriously, Zane.” Donovan explains. “‘The Lord Chief’ knows all there is to know about Colonel Potter.”
The enthusiasm in his face is endearing, if a little creepy, but Zane still responds to it like someone is asking him if he’d prefer death by a firing squad of blind people or having a mountain dropped on him.
“That’s ‘M.A.S.H., Donovan.” He replies. “At least you got the last name right this time.”
Donovan shakes his head as if Zane is confused.
“No, I’m certain that there’s a Colonel Potter in this series.” He replies. “Heck, his name is in it, so it has to be him.”
“That’s ‘Harry’, Donovan.” Zane replies. “He’s the protagonist.”
Donovan looks suspiciously at Zane.
“Harry Stone?” He replies. “I think you have the wrong character.”
Zane shakes his head again.
“That’s ‘Night Court’, Donovan.” He replies.
“Wasn’t he a sasquatch?” Donovan asks, clearly utterly befuddled.
“That’s ‘Harry and the Hendersons’, Donovan.” He replies in a tone that borders on agonized.
Sam replies to that sudden genre change by counting the “Harry’s” on his fingers as he attempts to explain Donovan’s succession of “Harry” characters to himself. He ultimately fails and throws his hands up, then looks at Zane.
“How do you keep up with that?” He asks. “I have no idea what the hell we’re talking about anymore.”
“You get used to it.” Zane replies with a shrug as he pulls his phone out and begins to look something up on it.
“I could swear that that ‘Harry’ was the President after FDR.” Donovan says to no one in particular.
“That’s Harry Truman, Donnie.” Zane replies without looking up from his phone.
Sam and the fans burst into hysterical laughter again as Zane continues to look at his phone. He finally looks up and gestures to someone off stage. An attendant runs over to him and they begin to speak while Donovan continues to talk to himself.
“Then there’s Harry Houdini.” He says. “He did magic.”
“He was a real person.” Zane replies without looking at him. “But at least you were close with ‘magic’ this time.”
Seconds after the off stage tech disappears, a list of the house characteristics for the four Harry Potter houses pop up on the big screen behind them. Sam notices them come up onto the screen and begins to get control over himself. Donovan continues to list random “Harry” named people.
“Harry Belafonte.” He says.
“Musician.” Zane replies without taking his eyes off of the screen.
Sam quickly scans the list and then looks at Zane.
“So, let’s start with the Champion.” He says. “Which house do you think Lucy Wylde belongs in?”
Zane scans the list and opens his mouth to reply when Donovan interjects.
“House Harkonnen!” He blurts.
Sam and the fans laugh as Zane shakes his head.
“That’s ‘Dune’, Donovan.” He replies. “Wrong writer.”
“Are you sure?” He asks. “Lucy seems like she fits in House Harkonnen.”
Zane shakes his head.
“I’m positive.” He replies. “And at worst, she’d be House Corrino in ‘Dune’.”
Sam chuckles at Zane’s response as some of the fans hoot.
“I didn’t know you were a Frank Herbert fan.” He says.
“Yup.” Zane replies. “I love the ‘Dune’ series.”
Sam shakes his head and raises his eyebrows in surprise.
“Learn something new every day.” He replies.”What about our current topic?”
“There’s Harry Caray...” Donovan continues.
“He was a sportscaster.” Zane replies. “Focus, Donovan.”
Donovan snaps out of his reverie and looks up at the board.
“Wallace is a Slytherian!” He blurts.
Zane shakes his head and smiles.
“We’re talking about Lucy.” He replies with a laugh.
“Slytherian!” Donovan yells.
“Are you saying that because it’s the only word in your head?” Zane asks.
“No.” Donovan replies.”I just like the way it sounds.”
Zane shakes his head as both Sam and the fans laugh at his response. Zane looks back up at the board and considers his answer for a few moments, then looks at Sam.
“Initially I’d have said that Lucy embodied House Hufflepuff.” He replies. “When she first got here and even up through the time that she won the World Championship, she was one of the hardest workers in the company and she has this genuine ‘goody two shoes’ vibe to her. She wanted to earn her way and showed incredible dedication to doing it all the right way. It was hard not to respect it, even if I found it to be a little annoying at times.”
Sam responds with a head shake and looks at Zane quizzically.
“I sense a ‘but’ in there.” He says.
Zane nods in agreement.
“Lately, yes.” He replies. “Lately, especially since the horrific incident with her father, she’s shown an increasingly stronger lean towards House Slytherin. She seems to be fighting a growing darkness inside of her that’s threatening to consume her. I’ve been where she is and she’s walking on very dangerous ground right now. There’s a bit of a meanness to her that wasn’t really there before. I feel bad for her.”
Sam looks at Zane in genuine surprise at his last statement.
“Really?” He asks.
“Sure.” Zane replies. “Just like I said earlier, no one deserves what she had done to her. No one. As I said though, it won’t stop me from taking the World Championship back from her. It can’t. I have to win.”
Sam takes a drink from his glass and then looks back at Zane.
“What about Magdalena?” He asks.
Zane runs his hand over his beard.
“She’s a...” Donovan says with a mouth full of ice cream.
Both Zane and Sam look at Donovan in bewilderment as he keeps chewing. Zane rubs his fingers over the bridge of his nose and exhales slowly.
“What was that, Donovan?” He asks. “Your mouth was full.”
“She’s like Beast.” He says.
Zane looks back at Donovan and chuckles in spite of himself.
“That’s ‘X Men’, Donovan.” He replies. “And his name was ‘Henry McCoy’, not Harry.”
“I’m pretty sure his name was ‘Harry’.” Donovan asserts, as he waves the spoon for emphasis.
“It wasn’t.” Zane replies as he narrowly dodges a blob of ice cream. “Trust me. In regard to Magdalena, I’d say that she’s a Gryffindor. If there’s one thing that one has to admit about her whether you agree with her behavior and her actions, is that she’s brave and generally plays fair. I’m not sure that that makes her chivalrous as the descriptions says Gryffindor’s are, but I think it’s a bit pedantic to argue the difference between the two.”
Once again Sam looks surprised by Zane’s answer.
“That’s not what I’d have guessed, based on your recent Twitter reactions with her.” He replies.
Zane shrugs.
“I admit that I’ve found her recent behavior to be a bit tiring.” He replies. “I get that she’s frustrated by what’s happened with Lucy. I get that she feels that we’re not respecting her right now and I get that she feels as if she’s not taken seriously as Cross-Hemisphere Champion.The thing about that is that I respect what she can do in the ring. What I don’t respect is the petulant and childish behavior that she’s been acting out lately. She’s lashing out like an angry child, throwing a tantrum towards anyone who gets close to her.”
He pauses and takes a drink from his water.
“I went through my ‘terrible twos’ as a wrestler a long time ago.” He explains. “I understand what she’s feeling. The thing is, what she’s doing is going to cost her eventually because she’s not focused. As I said before, anger is a distraction and right now she’s practically in another stratosphere.”
Some of the fans reply with applause and cheers, while others boo his response. Donovan seems oblivious to it all as he continues to enjoy his ice cream. Sam looks at Zane with a devilish smile on his face.
“And now the fun one.” He says. “‘Vain’ Alan Wallace.”
“He’s like that doctor guy on TV.” Donovan interjects.
“What?” Sam replies with a chuckle.
“That’s ‘Doctor House’, Donovan.” Zane replies. “Hugh Laurie.”
Donovan responds to Donovan’s explanation with a shrug before he sticks his spoon back into his ice cream.
“Whatever.” He replies. “He’s still a House.”
“Right...” Zane replies before he shakes his head. “Anyway, Alan is a combination of Ravenclaw and Slytherin with a little Hufflepuff thrown in because once he decides to be loyal to someone, he sticks with them until they turn on him. Just look at Killian.”
“That doesn’t work with you.” Sam offers.
Zane smiles and chuckles.
“Well, I’m not Alan’s friend, at least not in the same way that Killian was.” He replies. “And what Alan has done recently is less about specifically stabbing me in the back and more about reminding everyone of who he is. It shows the Slytherin cunning and resourcefulness. His ambition is legendary and anyone who underestimates it is a fool. Alan will literally do anything he has to in order to win on Monday and Lucy and Magdalena better be as ready for that as I am. If they’re not, they’re in for a quick and painful night.”
“Ok.” Sam replies. “That explains the Slytherin side. What about the Ravenclaw part?”
Zane smiles.
“I would think that’d be fairly obvious.” He replies. “Alan is one of the greatest promo men in the history of the business. He’s such a good talker that he could probably sell water to a flood victim. You can’t do that if you’re not highly intelligent, even if people think you’re delusional. I don’t think that I really need to explain his wit, do I?”
“No.” Sam replies. “It’s one of his most famous attributes.”
“If not his most famous.” Zane replies. “Although he’d argue that his looks are his most famous attribute.”
Zane, Sam and the fans share a laugh while Donovan continues to eat his ice cream in silence. Once they stop, Sam looks at Zane.
“And last, but not least, you.” He says. “Which house do you belong in?”
Zane’s head leans backwards and he lets out a loud laugh.
“Ah, of course.” He says with a chuckle. “It had to come around to that eventually.”
Sam smiles.
“Yup.” He replies. “We can’t ask you to describe the others and let you off the hook about yourself.”
Zane shakes his head and looks out at the crowd.
“You’re all enjoying this, aren’t you” He says with an entertained laugh.
“YES!!!” The crowd yells in unison.
Zane shakes his head and looks back at Sam.
“Fair’s, fair.” He says with a shrug. “I don’t think that I’ve fit neatly into any of those houses during my career. In fact, I think it’s fair to say that the last two years have pushed me towards one house over the others.”
“Which house is that?” Sam asks.
Zane smiles.
“Hufflepuff.” He says. “I can’t believe that I just said that out loud.”
He shakes his head and looks out across the crowd, where “Huffle My Puff” leaps up and down out of his chair and whoops for joy as if he’s just seen his first Hermione cosplay. Both Sam and Zane look at him with expressions that are half amusement and half befuddlement for a few moments before they look back at each other.
“To each their own.” Zane says with a shrug. “Anyway, back to the story. I’ve always valued hard work, loyalty and dedication. Even when I was a dastardly villain, I was true to my chosen causes, right or wrong.”
“You weren’t too big on ‘fair play’ as I recall.” Sam says with a teasing smile.
Zane shrugs and laughs.
“No.” He replies. “I wasn’t. I was much more a Slytherin in that I was endlessly ambitious.”
“And now?” Sam asks.
“I’m ambitious now. You have to be ambitious to succeed in wrestling.” He explains. “But unlike before, my ambitions don’t cause a ‘win no matter what’ attitude. I want to win the right way and keep improving as a wrestler and more importantly, as a person. That’s been damned hard at times, being violent is hardwired into me and anger has been a bit part of my life. It’s not something you can just turn off. Thankfully, and I never thought I’d say this, but my friendship with Donovan and my time with him, Larry, Owen and Donovan’s twins have helped me realize that I have to keep fighting for these changes or I’ll just end up where I started when I first got into wrestling.”
A sideways smile appears on his face.
“Besides, I think most people could associate me with a badger pretty easily.” He says, drawing a chuckle. “And besides, they have such nice recliners. As everyone knows, I love a nice, big and comfortable recliner.”
The remark draws another rippling laugh from the fans and Sam.
“Maybe I’ll incorporate that into my entrance one of these days.” He says with a grin. “I can have a group of beautiful women bring me to the ring on a platform while I sit in a recliner and a nice glass of scotch.”
A brief and critical “ohhhhh” carries through the room. Zane shakes his head as if to chastise them.
“Not like that!” He exclaims with a smile. “Come on, people!”
He, Sam and the fans share another laugh before Sam looks back at Zane.
“Are you ready for another one?” He asks.
“Sure.” Zane replies. “Go for it.”
Sam looks out at the crowd and searches the sea of arms. He notices an attractive redhead in the middle of the room and calls on her.
“You, miss!” He says.”What’s your name, and your question?”
The young lady stands up and is clearly adorning a Kenzi Gray-Lacklan shirt on her well developed person. She smiles enchantingly at the three men on the stage and opens her mouth when Donovan suddenly blurts something out.
“Tokugawa!” He yells with a disturbingly proud smile.
The crowd breaks into laughter at his exclamation as Zane sighs and lets out a chuckle of his own.
“We’re past that part of the festivities.” He states.
Donovan replies with a shrug of his own, then looks down. An expression of profound displeasure appears on his face as he looks down at his ice cream cup and then looks up and holds it out to Zane.
“‘The Lord Chief’ will be right back.” He says. “He requires a replenishment of his confectionary joy. Maybe they’ll have Black Cherry this time, the impudent peasants.”
He stands up and pushes his comically large captain’s hat forward on his head as if the act steels him for what is guaranteed to be a harrowing battle. He storms off of the stage and disappears from view before the fans gets a chance to applaud. Sam looks in bafflement at Zane.
“Is he always like that?” He asks.
Zane replies with a wide smile.
“Usually.” He answers. “It’s a part of his quirky charm.”
“Will he be back?” Sam asks.
“Beats me.” Zane replies with a shrug. “He may completely forget that we’re here and go wandering off somewhere else. One can never tell with Donovan.”
Sam looks back out into the crowd and points at the young lady.
“I apologize for that...odd...interruption.” He says. “What’s your question?”
She smiles as the mic is held in front of her.
“Hi. My name is Mara.” She says.
“Hi, Mara.” Sam says with a smile.
“Nice to meet you, Mara.” Zane says. “What’s your question?”
Mara flashes a brilliant smile.
“If you win at Day of Reckoning, an Outlast team consisting of which four competitors would worry you the most?” She asks.
Zane smiles and shakes his head.
“That’s an excellent question.” He says. “My knee-jerk response is Kenzi Gray-Lacklan, Angelica Vaughn, Necron and Alan Wallace”
The fans applaud his response and Sam nods his head and looks at him curiously.
“Why them?” He asks.
Zane smiles.
“That easy.” He replies. “Kenzi: Talent, charisma, drive and “it” She could supplant Eden Morgan as the greatest female talent in the history of UGWC. Look at everything that she’s accomplished since initially coming to UGWC and that includes winning ‘Wrestlestock’. If ‘Chill’ had a Championship, she’d be my odds on favorite to hold it and hold it for a long time.”
Another round of cheers bursts from the crowd. Zane shakes his head in agreement and looks back at Sam.
“She has the whole ‘tool kit’, as some say.” He continues. “She has charisma to spare and is naturally likeable. She cuts outstanding promos that flow and feel natural. They’re better than many veterans. Her wrestling repertoire is excellent and balanced, she’s tactically sound and she adapts well in the ring. She has the makings of a superb ring general. Everyone should take her seriously.”
“That’s a hell of a compliment!” Sam replies.
“She’s earned it.” Zane replies. “She’d be a lot of fun to face.”
Sam smiles and takes a drink from his glass, then look back up at Zane.
“Who’s second?” He asks.
“Angelica Vaughn.” Zane replies without missing a beat. “She’s a unique combination of size, ring ability and personality. She’s more of the classic babyface type who has a natural antagonist nearby at all times. A lot can be done with that. In terms of her look, she’s a tall and pretty young woman. She looks natural instead of having frankenboobs or more plastic in her face than the dashboard of my truck.”
Sam and the fans burst into laughter at the last comment.
“Do you have anyone particular in mind with that last part?” He asks through his laughter.
“I have no idea what you mean.” Zane replies with a negative shake of his his head, but also a devilish smile.
The fans laugh and applaud while Sam gets control over his laughter again.
“Please continue.” He says.
“Angie has all of the wrestling skills and physical tools to succeed and her height will work to her advantage against some of us guys on the roster.” He says. “It levels the playing field a little.”
“Plus, she and Kenzi are friends.” Sam observes.
“Yup.” Zane replies. “That chemistry would definitely be a hard factor to counter.”
“Who’s your third person?”
Zane doesn’t miss a beat in replying.
“Necron.” Zane replies bluntly. “Look at him. He’s gigantic, powerful, merciless, calculating and devoid of conscience. Any man who Ichabod appears to fear is someone who has to be taken seriously. I admit that I find aspects of his...disposition to be a little over the top, but he makes it work and he’s been extremely successful. He can match me in power and ability to deliver and take punishment and I wouldn’t just be able to power my way past him. I’d have to dig deep, if you’ll pardon the dip into cliche.”
“You’re pardoned.” Sam replies with an exaggerated wave of his right hand. “Who’s the final one?”
Zane smiles cunningly.
Alan Wallace.”
A ripple of conversation and surprised ripples around the room. Even Sam looks a little taken off guard by it.
“Really?” He asks, shocked. “Why?”
Zane replies to the question with a momentary dumbfounded stare.
“What do you mean ‘why’?” Zane asks as if the question is ludicrous, bordering on silly. “Keep in mind that not only did I team with Alan in the most dominant faction in UGWC history when we were in ‘The Syndicate’, but I’ve also teamed with him at “Outlast” during the beginning of ‘Pain and Paradox’. When motivated to work with a team, he’s an almost irreplaceable cog.”
Sam nods in reply.
“That all makes sense.” He replies. “But I get the feeling that that’s not all.”
Zane flashes a cagey smile.
“It’s not.” He replies.”The final reason is because no man is more dangerous than the man who thinks that he has something to prove and is willing to do anything to prove it. It’s doubly more dangerous when that man is Alan Wallace.”
An inspired expression suddenly flashes across Sam’s face. He turns toward the audience with a conspiratorial smile.
“I have a question for Zane, if you don’t mind.” He says.
“ASK!!” The crowd yells in unison.
Sam turns back to Zane with a conniving smile on his face.
“Is it cool with you?” He asks.
Zane nods.
“Sure” He replies. “That’s what we’re here for.”
“Excellent.” Sam replies as he rubs his hands together. “This is going to be a bit personal, but it ties into things nicely.”
“Ok.” Zane replies with a calm smile. “Go forit.”
“Good.” Sam replies. “What is your biggest fear?”
A stricken look briefly flashes across Zane’s face, but it comes and goes so quickly that Sam doesn’t appear to notice it. He sits silently for a moment and finally takes a deep breath, then exhales slowly and answers.
“Tagging with Dave Rydell for the rest of my career.” He replies.
A loud chorus of laughter carries around the room and Zane replies by flashing a toothy smile.
“I’m kidding.” He replies. “I don’t want to team with him, but it’s not the biggest ‘fear’ of my career.”
“Then what is it?”
“Personally, it’s failing at making this change that I’ve been fighting for for the past few year or so.”
“That’s deep.” Sam replies. “Why do you feel that way?”
“It’s simple.” Zane answers. “I don’t want to lose all of the important people that I’ve added to my life over the past year. I don’t want to throw away the progress that I’ve made in the fixing damaged relationships that I’ve had with family and long- time friends and associates.”
He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, then takes a drink from his water.
“Most importantly, I don’t want to revert to living the miserable life of perpetual anger and self-doubt that I lived before I started down this path. I was perpetually miserable and it smothered every aspect of my life. I hated my life, right now do being a pro-wrestler.”
He pauses.
“I can’t go back to that, no matter what happens.” He says with unflinching resolve. “I won’t.”
Sam nods and raises a curious eyebrow.
“Why is that?” He asks. “Because you’d fail all of those people you mentioned?”
“No.” Zane replies. “It would be because I’d be failing myself.”
“That’s deep, man.” Sam replies.
Zane shrugs.
“Maybe.” He replies. “Or maybe it’s just me growing up and accepting that I’m responsible for everything that happens to me, right or wrong and deciding that I have to do the right thing even if it’s not to my benefit.”
“That sounds like a form of reconciliation.” Sam replies.
Zane nods in agreement.
“It is.” Zane replies with a shrug, as if the conclusion is self-evident.
Sam smiles and looks back out over the crowd.
“It’s hard not to appreciate that, ladies and gentlemen.” He says. “Let’s get another question.”
He searches around the audience until he settles on a middle aged man in the back. He points at the man and the young brunette with the microphone begins to move over towards him.
“You, sir.” He says. “What is your name and what’s your question?”
The young lady with the microphone reaches him and holds the mic up to him. He smiles and looks at the two men on the stage.
“Hi. I’m Paul.” He answers. “If the world should end moments after your hand is raised in victory at Day of Reckoning, what would be your biggest regret?”
Both Zane and Sam sit and stare silently at him for a few moments before Zane lets out a low whistle.
“That’s...” He says.
“Dark?” Sam offers. “Heavy? Macabre?”
Zane laughs in response.
“All of them in a way.” He replies. “But it’s a great question.”
He puts his hand to his chin and strokes his beard in thought for a few moments.
“That I haven’t finished redeeming myself.”
The entire room goes dead quiet as Zane sits with a look of genuine sorrow and regret on his face. A few sobs are heard in the crowd before Sam clears his throat.
“Ask a deep question,” He says. “Get a deep answer.”
Zane shakes his head in agreement and smiles.
“Sorry for bringing the entire room down with one sentence.” He says with an apologetic smile.
Sam waves a dismissive hand.
“No problem.” He replies. “I just don’t think that anyone was expecting an answer like that.”
Zane looks out over the fans and smiles warmly.
“At least you’re getting your money’s worth.” He quips. “Besides, wrestling is supposed to be full of surprises. You can’t say that you weren’t surprised by that.”
“True!” Sam replies. “I’m not entirely sure where to go from there, so why don’t we take a quick break. We’ll be back in ten minutes.”
Ten Minutes Later
“We’re back!” Sam announces cheerfully. “Now during the break we talked about your excitement over the direction that UGWC has been taking lately. You’ve spoken glowingly about it. With that in mind, and before we get back to questions from our fans, is there anything you’d change about UGWC?”
Zane squints thoughtfully. When he doesn’t immediately answer, a look comes onto Sam’s face as if his personal muse has chosen to serenade him.
“I have a question for you.” He says leadingly.
“Ok.” Zane replies, clearly curious and slightly suspicious.
Sam smiles a broad and gleeful smile.
“Why do I feel like a bleeding fish in the middle of a school of sharks all of a sudden?”
Sam waves a dismissive hand at him.
“Nah.” He says. “My question is, what are three things you would change about UGWC?”
Zane exhales loudly and clearly doesn’t have an immediate answer. He considers the question for a few moments and runs his right hand through his hair.
“That’s a damned good question.” He says to no one in particular.
“Thank you.” Sam replies. “Given your unique view of how the company operates as the right hand, the Enforcer of Creative Director Donovan Hastings, I figured that you’d have some interesting comments to offer.”
Zane chuckles in response.
“Well, the trick with that is not giving anything away.” He replies. “I can give you my opinion of things, but I personally don’t see UGWC has needing to change much, if anything.”
“But if you had to choose three?” Sam asks.
“Well...” Zane replies, then pauses to consider his words. “First, I’d like to see some of the newer talent pushed into some higher level programs.Talent like Kenzi, Angelica, Roxy, Necron and Sarah Lacklan pushed against some higher profile talent. I think that Kenzi against Jet would be a fantastic matchup that could help push Kenzi towards the Cross-Hemisphere Championship. I think that Kem Dynamo should go into an immediate program with whoever of us wins the Cross-Hemisphere Championship.”
He smiles.
“And yes, that includes me even as Double Champion.”
He continues.
“I know that Necron is facing Eden at ‘Day of Reckoning’ and I think that will be a great match, but I don’t think that’s what Eden needs right now. I’d also like to see Necron challenge one of our newcomers who says that he wants to earn his way up the card, Konrad Raab.”
“That would be an...interesting...fight.”
Zane shrugs.
“If Raab wants to make a name for himself here, that would be a great way to do it.” Zane explains. “Necron has been a walking wrecking ball since arriving here.”
“True.” Sam agrees. “So if that’s the first, what’s the second thing you’d change?”
Zane looks out across the room and flashes a quick grin.
“I’d mix up and straight up switch out our ‘Synergy’ and ‘Chill’ commentary teams every so often, say once a month, or combine them at Pay-Per-Views.” He explains. “I think it would give our commentary a fresh feeling and help create a greater versatility between the members of our commentary staffs.”
“Which one would you most like to see?” Sam asks.
“Personally, I’d like to see Vinegar, Chaos and Reese.” Zane replies. “Although I think that Reese, Lieberjosch and Chaos would be fun too.”
“I bet those would make the shows absolutely fascinating to hear.” Sam replies. “And probably more than a little contentious at times.”
“Sure.” Zane replies.”But that would just make them more colorful. Don’t get me wrong, Lieberjosch is a smart guy and a generally great analyst and Jay fills his role well, even if he rarely contributes anything meaningful to the broadcast. He’s a good guy, but it would be nice to rotate him out of the show every so often.”
Sam shakes his head and some of the fans applaud his opinion, while others mildly jeer at it.
“It sounds like the fans are about evenly split about that.” He says.
Zane smiles and looks out over the room.
“They’re entitled to it.” He replies.
“Yes they are.” Sam replies.”And finally, what’s the third thing you’d change?”
A wide smile breaks out across Zane’s face.
“I’d get the damned trapped door in our office to work.”
Sam and the entire room burst into laughter as Zane just sits basically a straight face, although there’s a roguish gleam in his eye and an ever to subtle smirk in the right side of his mouth. He sits in silence as Sam laughs so hard that his laugh elevates in tone to such a degree that it’s almost impossible to hear it, although he’s clearly still laughing. The room laughs along with him. They all do so for a good five minutes straight before they all get back under control. For his part, Sam has to wipe his eyes with the cocktail napkin that he has on the small table to his left. He takes a deep breath, shakes his head and acts as if he’s looking scornfully at Zane.
“Oh god.” He replies. “You completely got me with that response. Were you serious?”
Zane shrugs innocently.
“I leave that decision up to you and everyone who walks into our office.” He replies calmly.
Sam laughs and looks out at the fans.
“Keep that in mind, folks.” He says, then turns back to Zane. “What’s below the trap door?”
“A hole.” Zane replies with a straight face.
Sam laughs in response to the question.
“That’s not what I meant.” He replies. “What’s in the hole?”
Zane shrugs again.
“That’s for those who fall down it to find out.” He replies. “It could be hungry crocodiles, it could be plastic balls or it could be puppies.”
“Puppies?” Sam replies.
Zane smiles.
“It could be.” He replies with a snarky grin.
“Oooookay.” Sam answers. “I can see that you’re not going to give me a straight answer.”
“Nope.” Zane replies with a cherubic smile. “The mystery is all part of the fun.”
Sam replies with a skeptically raised eyebrow.
“For you and Donovan.” He answers.
“Yup.” Zane nods.
“Ok then.” Sam replies with a smile. “Moving on. Who else has a question?”
Both Sam and Zane scan the crowd. After a few moments they spot a young man in a blue ninja mask who is making quite a spectacle of himself by leaping up and down and wildly waving his arms. Sam points at him with a suspicious look on his face.
“Is it just me, or does he look really familiar?” He asks.
Zane looks at the absurdly demonstrative masked fan and a smirk pulls at his mouth.
“Yes he does.” Zane says with a verbal grin.”Jay.... is that you?”
The man in the mask momentarily stops dead in mid jump and nearly falls onto the floor. He catches himself on his chair and with the assistance of the very considerate and helpful people around him manages to right himself.
“N...no.” He says in an absurdly deep fake voice. “My name is.... Secret Steve.”
The entire room immediately bursts out laughing, as does Sam. Zane looks suspiciously at him for a moment.
“You sound like Sean Connery in ill-fitting pants.” He replies.
Sam stops laughing the second that Zane says it and stares at him, mouth agape, then bursts out laughing again. He laughs so hard that he squeaks, makes choking noises and emits a sound that it’s hard to find a proper adjective for. Zane stands and looks out over the crowd.
“I think I broke Sam.” He says with a grin. “Just admit it, Jay. You can ask a question anyway.”
“I swear that I’m not Covert Jay!” Secret Steve admits.
Zane takes a deep breath and looks over at Sam, who is starting to calm down. He looks back out at the audience and...
“Welcome to the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota, welcome to the”Day of Reckoning”!
“HUTTAH!!!” Secret Sam yells without missing a beat, then pauses when he realizes what he's done. “DAMN IT!!!!”
“That’s no fair.” He huffs. “You cheated!”
Zane smiles victoriously as the fans cheer and applaud him. Sam, who had just barely stopped laughing, resumes his uncontrolled and frankly painful sounding laughter as the fans join him. The now revealed Covert Jay reaches behind him and undoes the blue mask that he has on his face to reveal the red mask that he normally wears.
“Don’t feel bad, Jay.” He answers. “I’ve been around you for long enough to know you when I see you. Besides, your fake voice sounded like you doing a poor impression of Morgan Freeman.”
“Can I still ask a question?” Jay asks.
“Sure.” Zane replies with a nod.
“HUTTAH!!!” Jay exclaims. “My question is; You win at Day of Reckoning, and you get a chance to repeat your triple championship accomplishment by going after the Cooperative Championships next. Who would your partner be: Boss P, Err Bear, Muppet Cypress, or Forewell Boding?”
Zane laughs and shakes his head.
“I see that you want me to lose.” He replies. “If I had to pick one, I’d do with the Err Bear.”
“Why?” Jay asks. “It’s a bear.”
Zane points and him and his smile widens.
“It’s a bear that can bend reality.” He replies. “Why wouldn’t I want it?”
“Uh, it could cause the universe to implode before you win!” Jay replies.
Zane shrugs.
“You suggest that the Err Bear isn’t aware of what it’s doing.” He replies. “I think that you’re underestimating it.”
“That’s cheating!” Jay exclaims.
“You tell a gigantic blue bear that can warp reality that it can’t do what it wants to do.” Zane replies. “I’ll wait.”
“Ok....that’s fair.” Jay replies haltingly. “I don’t want to get my mask ripped off. I wouldn’t be a ninja anymore.”
Zane smiles and rolls his eyes.
“If Err bear got its hands on you, you’d be its version of a ‘Slim Jim’.” Zane replies.
Jay stands silently for a moment, then visibly shivers and sits down. Sam walks up next to Zane and raises his arms.
“Last question!” He exclaims.
He searches the crowd for a few moments and finally points at a middle aged man who’s decked out like a frankly disturbing amalgamation of Alan Wallace, Lucy Wylde and Maggie Lockheart. He has a “Vain” Alan Wallace blonde wig (available at UGWC.com/shop for only 49.99), along with a Lucy Wylde t-shirt (25.99) and a black Magdalena Lockheart style black dress over the shirt (weird, but only 45.00 at UGWC.com/shop). Zane looks at the man with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s some outfit.” He says with a grin.
“Thank you.” The man replies. “You won’t like it as much after one of them beats you on Monday.”
The crowd lets out a loud “ohhhh” and there are more than a few boos scattered around the room. Sam shakes his head and looks at the man.
“There’s no need for that.” He says. “We’ve had a lot of fun so far and we should end on a high note. Do you actually have a question?”
The man purses his lips and responds with an extremely creepy look.
“I have a lot more than a question.” He replies.
“Stick to the question.” Sam replies with a chuckle.
“Fine.” The man says with a huff. “Win or lose, what has been your favorite match in your career?”
“Last year’s Infinity.” He replies without missing a beat.
“That was more than one match.” The man snaps back.
“Technically, yes.” Zane replies. “But you could consider it one long match, one long test for the right to hold the World Championship again. I defeated two UGWC legends in Jet Somers and Eden Morgan to get there, two people who I have very complicated histories with. Two people who are both four-time World Champions who have been integral part of some of the most dominant factions in wrestling history.”
“Everyone knows how violent my history with Eden is. As many of you may remember, Eden and I almost killed each other earlier in our career. She was the first person to break my nose and found out the hard way that kicking me repeatedly in the face...wasn’t a good idea.”
A round of laughter ripples through the room as he smiles and makes an “oops” expression.
“We ruled this company as two-fourths of ‘The Syndicate’ and that included a run as Co-Operative Champions.” He states. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there’s no Zane Scott without Eden Morgan.”
He pauses and takes a drink.
“Things with Jet are a little different.” He replies. “Jet and I have never been allies. Through most of our careers we’ve been rivals and at times heated rivals. He’s thrown some of the most vicious criticisms possible at me throughout my career, including before and after I beat him at ‘Infinity’ in saying that I wasn’t worthy of being there. Beating him that night was a vindication for me, even if he saw it as something that somehow only happened because of Donovan.”
“I don’t usually like Jet and he’s never been my friend, but I understand how important beating him is, especially for the World Championship.”
“His criticisms be damned.”
He pauses again.
“And finally, I won it by beating the current World Heavyweight Champion, Lucy Wylde. One of my opponents this weekend.” He explains. “Again, Lucy and I have a complicated history. At times we’ve been bitter and hated rivals. At times we’ve been short term allies.”
“I respect Lucy professionally. She’s one of the most talented wrestlers I’ve ever been in a ring with.” He continues. “Defeating her to win the World Championship on the most challenging nights of my career was one its greatest and proudest moments and I’ll always cherish the challenge of it, not just the outcome.”
Sam shakes his head and smiles at Zane’s response as the fans applaud. He turns and holds his hand out for Zane to shake, which he does.
“Zane it’s been a pleasure to have you here tonight.” He says. “I wish you the best of luck on Monday at ‘Day of Reckoning’ and no matter what happens, we’d love to have you back.”
“I’d love to come back.” Zane replies. “Thank you for having me.”
One Hour Later
The stage is clean, except for the two chairs and the room has long since emptied out. The lights are dimmed, but not out. We hear a door squeak open off stage and seconds later a long rectangle of light stretches across the stage. The door slowly closes and the rectangle disappears as we hear footsteps on the stage. Moments later “The Lord of Creative Pain” walks to center stage and stops. He spoons out a helping of ice cream and pauses.
“Zane?!” He calls.
He looks around the room, clearly a bit confused by the silence and emptiness.
“I thought he’d still be here.” He says to himself. “He can be a chatty cathy.”
He pauses and wolfs down more of his ice cream.
“Zane?!!” He calls again, then finishes it off and tosses the empty cup over his shoulder onto the sage.
He pulls a second cup from under his cape, pops the lid and tosses that over his shoulder as well, then walks over and sits down in one of the two chairs. He pulls the other one until it’s across from him and then puts his feet up on it.
“I got one for you two, but since you’re not here...more for me.” He says with a shrug.
He pops another spoonful into his mouth, chews it with obvious pleasure and smiles.
“Mmmm...Black Cherry.” He says to himself with a satisfied smile.
End.
St. Paul RiverCentre
St. Paul, Minnesota
3:45 pm
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to WrestleLegion 2018!!!”
The host receives a raucous cheer in return for his greeting. He walks out to center stage and bows before he settles in front of one of the two chairs that are set up on the stage. He brushes his short dark hair from his young face and flashes a bright smile at the room. He’s adorned in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt that has a clock face and various images over it. He looks down at his shirt and adjusts the mic that’s clipped to his collar.
“It’s great to see all of you here and we at the ‘Squared Circle Church’ have had an outstanding time with all of you congregants as we celebrate our love of wrestling. Speaking of our love, this coming Monday Unified Global Wrestling Coalition is in town for ‘Day of Reckoning’.”
The room explodes into loud applause, which the host plays up to. The room settles after a couple of minutes and the host flashes his radiant smile at the room.
“As you all know, I’m Sam King and I’ll be your minister for the afternoon.” He continues.
The fans respond with another deafening cheer, which the host plays up by waving his arms up and down. He looks out over the crowd and holds his right hand up, palm out. The crowd slowly goes silent and he smiles.
“Congregants, we have a very special guest for you today.” He states. “In anticipation of ‘Day of Reckoning’ we at The Church have invited a very special guest. Our guest is a three-time World Heavyweight Champion, a two-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion and has held every championship in UGWC. He became the only Triple Champion in company history when he held the World Heavyweight Championship, the Chaos Championship and the Co-Operative Championship at once.”
He pauses to take a breath and then smiles.
“This Monday at ‘Day of Reckoning’ he faces three of the greatest talents who are currently in UGWC” He explains. “At ‘Day of Reckoning’ he fights to become a four-time World Heavyweight Champion and three-time Cross-Hemisphere Champion when he challenges current World Champion Lucy Wylde, current Cross-Hemisphere Champion Magdalena Lockheart and the second-longest reigning World Champion in UGWC history, “Vain” Alan Wallace in a ‘Tables, Ladders and Chairs’ match!”
The fans erupt into loud and alternating chants of “PAR-A-DOX” and “PAIN THRIL-LER”. Sam smiles and raises his arms.
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I GIVE YOU “THE PARADOX” ZAAAAANE SCOOOOOTTTT!!!”
“Nasty” by The Prodigy blares through the room. Seconds later, Zane strolls out onto stage wearing a “Syndicate” t-shirt, jeans and black boots. He walks out and shakes hands with Sam before he walks to the front of the stage and raises his arms to a largely positive response, although there are a few scattered boos. Sam looks slightly embarrassed by the booing, but Zane smiles and acknowledges them. Zane finally bows to the fans, then turns and walks over to the chair that’s been put out for him. He picks up the mic from the chair and affixes it to his shirt, then sits down and looks at Sam.
“Dude, I’m sorry about the booing.” He says, apologetically. “Although the cheers are far louder.”
Zane smiles and shakes his head.
“Don’t worry about it.” He replies. “I spent five years earning those boos. I don’t expect the fans to forgive me for every heinous thing that I did in two and a half. It’s a bit of a cliche to say this, but it’s true that these people pay their hard-earned money to watch me do what I do. If they want to boo me, I’m not going to complain about it.”
He pauses for a moment and wistfully smiles.
“I spent all of two-thousand and sixteen wishing that I could hear them in person again.” He replies. “Any reaction from the fans, except for silence, is music to my ears now.”
The fans respond with cheers again while Sam smiles and claps for him. Zane nods his head and takes a drink from the open bottle of water that sits to his right. The two exchange brief conversation that the mics don’t pick up before Sam holds his hand up to quiet the fans again.
“Speaking of your knee,” Sam asks. “How has it been? You had to miss a Synergy a couple of weeks ago, but you’ve seemed fine since.”
Zane nods his head.
“It’s no big secret that I live with pain in it day in and day out.” He explains. “At this point I’m used to it. What happened was that I landed poorly on my foot and another wrestler and it tweaked it a bit. It’s been fine since I took that week off.”
A somewhat devilish smile spreads on Sam’s face.
“Some have argued that your knee was hurt because of who you landed on.” He says. “What do you say to that.”
Zane responds to the question with a cold glare.
“I’m sorry I asked.” Sam says as he holds up his hands defensively. “Moving on.”
Zane raises his right hand.
“No.” He replies. “Not ‘moving on’. This needs to be addressed.”
“Ok then.” Sam says as he extends his arm towards Zane in a “continue” gesture.
“Thanks.” Zane says with a nod. “The truth of the matter is that landing on anyone would have tweaked my knee. It had nothing to do with who I landed on and I’m more than a little tired of the incessant fat jokes that are made about Kem Dynamo.”
Sam’s eyes widen at the ferocity of Zane’s tone and he holds his hands up defensively again. Zane takes a drink and sits back in his chair.
“I’m not angry at you for asking.” Zane explains. “But I honestly find the constant bullying and body-shaming that she’s subjected to to be childish and tiring. Regardless of what one thinks of her appearance, Ms. Dynamo is an extremely talented young wrestler with a bright future and people only mock her appearance because they can’t mock her in-ring skills.”
Sam looks surprised by Zane’s response and nods his head a couple of times.
“That was...informative.” He replies. “I wasn’t expecting such an...energetic response about that. Do you feel that way because you feel as if you were bullied at one time?”
Zane shakes his head.
“No.” He replies. “I wasn’t bullied. I was a miserable and vicious prick with one obvious weakness and people took advantage of it. I wasn’t and I’m not a victim of any kind. I was an asshole to people and people were assholes back, pardon my language. That’s how life works.”
“But that’s not what’s happening to Kem?” Sam asks.
“No.” Zane replies. “Kem wasn’t the most pleasant person in the world when she returned to the company a few months ago, but she’s changed a lot in the meantime and even if one finds her personality to be grating, it’s not an excuse to constantly bully her as she is subjected to.”
Sam nods and the crowd cheers and applauds Zane’s response. He takes another drink from his water and smiles. Sam waits for the cheers to die down a bit and looks at him.
“Where’s your assistant?” He asks. “We were hoping to see him.”
Zane smiles.
“Larry is busy.” He replies. “He’ll be here tomorrow. He’d probably freeze in terror in a room that has this many people in it anyway.”
“He’s an interesting guy.” Sam replies with a smile.
“Yeah.” Zane answers. “He is, but he’s a great guy and an incredibly thorough personal assistant.”
The two men pause and Zane smiles as a loud “LAR-RY!! LAR-RY!!” chant breaks out. Zame stands up and aggressively raises and lowers his arms to encourage it. It goes on for a few minutes before Sam holds his hand up and the crowd quiets down. Zane returns to his seat and looks at him.
“Maybe one day we’ll interview him.” He says.
“I’m sure he’d enjoy that.” Zane replies with a smile.
“Good.” Sam answers. “But enough smallish talk. You have an enormous challenge coming up on Monday at ‘Day of Reckoning’. How do you feel about it?”
Zane smiles widely.
“I’m excited.” He replies. “Even if I didn’t have the opportunity to walk out with the World Heavyweight Championship and the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, I’d still be fired up because of who I’m facing.”
Same nods and takes a drink from a small glass that sits to his left. He holds it up to a cheer, then takes a sip from it and places it back down.
“Would you care to elaborate?” He asks.
“Sure.” Zane says with a nod. “One a purely talent level, Alan, Lucy and Magdalena are three of the most gifted people I’ve ever been in a wrestling ring with.”
“But?” Sam asks.
“But...” Zane says with a pause. “Lucy hasn’t been herself lately. She’s vacillating between condescending, angry, arrogant and aggressive and calm and generally polite.”
“Except for that shade she threw at you on Twitter a couple of days ago.” Sam says with a grin.
Zane shrugs.
“The ‘as you know I’m always at my best’ remark?” Zane asks. “Yeah, I took that to be a bit mocking dig at me, but if it was that’s fine. She and I have quite a history in the ring and she was the person to take the World Championship off of me, even if she pinned Phrixus Deimos to do it. So if she wants to take digs at me for that, fine. She can.”
“And if it wasn’t a dig?” Sam asks.
“Then it was a poorly phrased gloat.” Zane replies with a shrug. “And that’s fine. She can gloat. I prefer to win.”
Sam replies by raising his eyebrows in surprise.
“It sounds like you two have a little heat.” He says.
“No.” Zane replies. “We don’t. I will say that her ‘holier than thou’ routine on Twitter was...tiring. The quickest way to lose the respect of your peers to to act like you’re better than they are.”
“She has the World Heavyweight Championship.” Sam offers. “Doesn’t that make her better than you?”
Zane shrugs.
“Not necessarily.” He replies. “I’ll be the first to say that my last run as World Champion was disappointing. Her’s started off hot but has slowed down and because her life has become one enormous soap opera, her reign is bordering on embarrassing now. Especially that ‘do you know who I am, ‘get me another drink you worthless nobody’ routine that she pulled in that bar last week.”
A few people in the crowd respond negatively, although it’s impossible to tell if the reaction is towards his words or the incident that he’d just described. Sam looks at the crowd and then back at Zane.
“The fans don’t see to like what you said.” He says.
“Maybe not.” Zane replies. “But I didn’t say what I said to insult Lucy just for the sake of insulting her. In fact, I’m not trying to insult her at all. I’m merely pointing out that when one walks into a public place, throws their being World Champion around like their shit doesn’t stink, threatens the bartender and then tells them that the only way that they’ll leave is when the police drag them out, they’re not acting like a World Champion.”
Sam whistles at Zane’s response.
“Are you saying that you always acted perfectly as World Champion?” He asks.
“Not when I was younger.” Zane replies. “But I didn’t tell people that I’d only leave their establishments when the police dragged me out. Her job as World Champion is to resemble UGWC with dignity and poise. She’s been good at it in the past, but lately she’s been slipping.”
“Why do you think that is?” Sam asks.
“I don’t know.” Zane replies. “I will say that there appears to be something going on inside of her head right now and it’s not healthy. One doesn’t vacillate between such extremes in personality when everything is OK. Lucy went through a lot not too long ago and never really did anything to even begin to deal with it. She watched her mother stab her father to death in front of her after he’d spent weeks physically, mentally and emotionally torturing her as his prisoner. The son of a bitch threatened to kill Lucy’s other sister in front of her just because he could. I don’t mourn him or what happened to him at his wife’s hands, he deserved it, but at the same time it has to have had a profound effect on Lucy and I’m sure it still does, no matter what she says.”
He pauses and takes a drink from his water.
“On top of that, the apparent end of her relationship with Magdalena seems to be exacerbating it. Lucy is a top flight athlete and wrestler and I respect her in ring ability, but no matter what she says, she’s not focused right now. No champion, especially the World Champion, can walk into a defense, especially not one against so many dangerous opponents, with such divided attentions. It’s the quickest way to lose.”
Sam nods and takes another drink from his glass.
“Will you show her any mercy during the match because of that?” He asks.
“No.” Zane replies with a shake of his head. “I can’t during the match, but if she wants to talk about it or find someone to talk to about it, I can help her out. During the match my focus can only be on winning and reclaiming both of the Championships that are on the line.”
Sam nods and waits as a few fans clap.
“Speaking of Miss Lockheart,” He says.”What do you think of her?”
Zane shakes his head and lets out a loud exhale that draws a confused and somewhat surprised look from Sam.
“Not a fan?” He asks.
“It’s not that.” Zane replies with a wave. “In terms of raw talent both in the ring and on the mic, she’s extremely gifted. The thing that everyone forgets is how inexperienced she is. Yes, she’s the Cross-Hemisphere Champion and she recently won the ‘Monarchy of Anarchy’ tournament. Neither of those accomplishments are things to scoff at.”
“Unless you’re Holden Orson.” Sam interjects.
“Of course.” Zane replies with a chuckle. “But he’d scoff a winning the lottery because it’s ‘too mainstream’.”
“True.” Sam says with a grin as he points at Zane in agreement. “So what is it about Magdalena that bothers you?”
Zane responds with a sigh and runs his right hand through his shiny black hair.
“It’s not so much that anything in particular that she does bothers me.” He replies. “It’s that she’s generally immature and she acts like she’s both a victim of the world and someone who’s owed something by it.”
“Maybe it does owe her something.” Sam replies. “She appears to feel like it owes her respect.”
Zane rolls his eyes.
“Yes, and that’s bullshit.” He replies. “Magdalena has done an incredible job earning the respect of the locker room since she arrived in UGWC. She’s accomplished a lot in an extremely short amount of time and I certainly don’t begrudge her that. It’s impressive. That said, if she thinks that anyone owes her anything, she’s showing her inexperience.”
“That’s fair I suppose.” Sam replies. “A couple of days ago she accused of of...fellating Alan Wallace on Twitter.”
“Yes she did.” Zane replies with a grunt. “And for someone who claims to be ‘The Future’ and for someone who carries one of the most prestigious championships in all of wrestling, a championship that I have proudly carried twice in my career, for her to resort to that sort of childish and lowbrow dig is frankly beneath anyone who has ever carried or will ever carry the Cross-Hemisphere Championship.”
He pauses and takes a drink from his water.
“And it should certainly be beneath the person who carries the Cross-Hemisphere Championship now.” He explains. “Although it clearly isn’t.”
“I see.” Sam replies.
“One more thing...” Zane says, his voice controlled yet clearly disgusted.
“If the person who holds the Cross-Hemisphere Championship now is too immature to hold that championship without making a mockery of it, then she certainly doesn’t deserve to hold the World Championship.”
Sam emits a low whistle at Zane’s scathing response and it draws a few “ooooohs”, a couple of boos and a lot of clapping and cheers from the fans. Zane takes a deep breath and then a drink from his bottled water as his slightly reddened face returns to its normal color.
“Last, but certainly not least, what about Alan Wallace?” He asks. “Are you wearing your ‘Syndicate’ shirt as an attempt at playing a mind game with him?”
Zane nods his head a couple of times and smiles.
“No.” He replies. “I’m wearing it because it’s comfortable and still for sale on ‘UGWC Shop’. Every shirt sold means royalties checks for me, so why not shill them now and then?”
He flashes a smile and runs his hand across the shirt as if he’s modeling it. Sam and the fans both laugh along with him.
“Very good.” Sam says. “Remember that, congregants. Buy the shirt!”
They all share another laugh before Sam turns and his expression becomes serious again.
“Back to Alan Wallace.” He says. “Given how he’s treated you over the past few weeks, have your feelings about him changed?”
Zane replies with a chuckle.
“No.” He replies.”I still respect the hell out of Alan Wallace and I more than anyone in this match knows what’s capable of and how dangerous he is.”
Sam shakes his hand and points at the video screen that’s behind them. Seconds later an image of Wallace poking Zane in the eye appears on the screen. Zane laughs when the image comes up as the fans boo.
“What about that?” Sam asks. “He says that you’re one of the people ‘he respects the most in the business’, but then he does that. Your response to that was pretty calm.”
Zane laughs again.
“Not at first.” He replies. “I was pretty pissed off right after he did it.”
“You’re not now?” Sam asks.
“No.” Zane replies. “But that’s because I choose not to be. Anger is distracting. If I go into a match as important and potentially career defining as this one is and I do it clouded by fury over anything, I’m going to lose. Anger has been my Achilles heel throughout my entire career and everyone knows it, especially Alan. If I go into Monday night stewing over him taking a shortcut to beat me two weeks ago, he’ll see it, he’ll play on it and he’ll use it against me. Think what you want about him, but Alan Wallace is one of the smartest and most calculating people in the business.”
Sam raises his eyebrows at the response.
“That’s very complimentary to someone who clearly doesn’t respect you or take you seriously.”
Zane laughs at the statement.
“Well, knowing Alan I think it’s safe to say that whether Alan respects a person or not, he’ll do what he has to in order to win. Maybe it’s a weakness of mine now, but I choose not to do that. I want to win because I deserved to win, not because I was willing to take shortcuts to win when I couldn’t get it done on my own.”
The crowd responds with a loud “oohhhhh” which Zane grins snidely at.
“It’s true.” He continues. “Listen, the simple truth is that Alan has the talent to win any match on talent alone. Anyone who believes otherwise as an idiot. In spite of that, he’s so desperate to prove to everyone that he’s as great as he was when he held the World Championship for what’s now the second greatest run in UGWC history that he feels that any means to that end are acceptable.”
Zane pauses and takes a drink from his water as a murmur makes its way around the crowd. He places the bottle down and looks back at Sam.
“The sad thing about that is that every time he takes a shortcut in order to win, he betrays his own incredible legacy. If he wants to do that, no one can stop him.”
“I’d rather win because I actually earned it.”
Sam responds with a low whistle.
“So if you do win, would you do what you’ve always said you’d do and give him a shot at the World Championship?”
Zane nods.
“Of course I would.” He replies. “I can’t call myself one of the greatest ever until I beat Alan for the World Championship one on one. I’d say the same about Travis Roberts if he was around, but he’s not.”
“In the end, I have nothing but respect for Alan Wallace.” Zane explains. “He’s one of the few people in this industry that I actually like. In spite of that, I’m going to beat him on Monday. It’s not personal. It’s necessary.”
Sam nods his head in response.
“Well on that note, are you up for some fan questions?” He asks.
“Sure.” Zane replies with a nod.
“Excellent!” Sam replies. “Hold your hand up if you have a question and stand up when I call on you.”
Sam looks around the room as a forest worth of hands shoots up around the room. He scans the crowd and eventually points to a young man in a navy blue “WrestleLegion” t-shirt. The baby faced young man smiles sheepishly.
“Hi. I’m Clay.”
“Hi, Clay.” Sam replies.
“Hey man.” Zane answers. “What’s your question?”
Clay runs his hand over his long blonde hair and smiles nervously.
“Uhhh.” He says. “If you become a double champion, how will your reign mean more than your historical triple champion reign?”
Zane nods and smiles.
“Great question, Clay.” He responds. “It’s hard to touch how special and amazing winning and holding three championships at once was. I never imagined that I would achieve an accomplishment so great that no one in the incredible history of this company had ever done. My teacher Dirge never did it. The greatest World Champion ever, Donovan Hastings never did it. The most physically gifted man in UGWC history, Jet Somers never did it. The most impactful female talent ever, Eden Morgan never did it. The longest reigning World Champion ever, Travis Roberts never did it.”
He pauses and flashes a devilish smile.
“Vain” Alan Wallace never did it, just in case anyone forgot.”
Another loud “ohhhh” ripples around the room and both Zane and Sam laugh.
“Those sound like fighting words.” Sam says with a grin.
Zane gives a quick thumbs up.
“Make no mistake, I respect each and every person that I just mentioned.” Zane explains. “Without them, there would be no Zane Scott. Without them, I wouldn’t be driven to achieve the greatness that I aspire to. Without them, there would be no bar for me to clear. They’re the cornerstone of UGWC and one day, I will stand shoulder to shoulder with them in the Hall of Fame.”
Sam nods his head as some applause ripples through the crowd.
“In spite of all of that, and in spite of being the only Triple-Champion in the history of UGWC, Zane Scott was fatally flawed.
Sam’s looks at Zane, clearly confused by his statement.
“Flawed’?” He asks. “You have one of the greatest resumes of any talent in the history of UGWC. What ‘flaw’ are you talking about?”
Zane smiles.
“I’m glad you asked.” He replies. “That Zane Scott was burdened, if not crippled by self-doubt. He was crippled by long-held bitterness about his past. He craved approval and he was obsessed with the respect of others. He was indolent and willing to let others decide his path for him. He was complacent.”
He pauses and takes a drink.
“He felt that he was worthless without those championships.”
“Worst of all, he was crippled by anger that he never learned to let go of.”
He smiles.
“That was then. This is now.”
He raises his right hand and brushes his hair back from his face, pushing it behind his ears and over the back of his head.
“In case everyone hasn’t figured it out yet…”
He flashes a confident smile.
“I’m not that Zane Scott anymore.”
A smattering of applause rings through the room. Zane nods his head and continues his answer.
“I realize that that was a long way of getting to the answer for the question that you just asked me, but context is important. People always like to talk about their motivations. Some are as simple as Magdalena’s, who wants to prove that she belongs in the upper echelon with wrestlers such as myself and Alan Wallace. Others are more complicated, like Alan, who wants to prove to everyone, and more importantly to himself that he’s still relevant to the business and this company. My motivations weren’t and aren’t as straight forward and they needed to be enumerated.”
Sam nods his head and smiles.
“That’s fair.” He says with a chuckle. “Your career, hell your life has never exactly been simple.”
Zane grins and laughs in response. He shakes his head in reply and runs his right hand through his long black hair, pushing it away from his face and back over his head again.
“Isn’t that the truth.” He replies with a smile.
He pauses and takes a drink from his water, then looks back at Sam.
“In spite of all of that and in spite of how much being the only Triple-Champion ever has meant to me, this[/b] reign as Double-Champion will be infinitely more special.”
“Why is that?” Sam asks.
Zane smiles.
“That’s simple.” He replies with a shrug. “When it happens this time, I’ll be doing so as something that I haven’t at any time in my career, or for that matter for my entire life...”
“What’s that?” Sam asks, clearly curious.
“I’ll be doing so as a free man.” Zane replies bluntly.
Zane’s response clearly baffles Sam, as he sits in dumbfounded silence for a few seconds.
“I’m afraid that I’m not following.” He replies. “‘Free man’? How? You haven’t been under Dirge’s thumb for years.”
Zane waves a dismissive hand.
“That’s not exactly what I meant.” He replies. “Although it does factor into it a little. What I mean by ‘free man’ is more a statement about my mind and emotional state.”
“Ok.” Sam replies. “Care to elaborate?”
Zane nods in reply and looks out over the crowd before he turns it back to Sam.
“When I win the two greatest Championships in the history of professional wrestling at “Day of Reckoning” I’ll hold them as the wrestler and as the man that I was always meant to be. I’ll claim and carry those championships as a man who is free of every anchor that ever held him down. I’ll carry them as the man who will be driven by his love of professional wrestling and more importantly by his love of the Unified Global Wrestling Coalition. I’ll carry them with pride, with honor and with the understanding that the destiny that carries me to that point comes with a responsibility that is second to none anywhere in the universe.”
“I’ve said in the past that I want to be the man who takes this company into the future. I want to be the man who elevates this company to new heights of greatness. I want to be the man who is spoken of in the seam breath as all of the great World Champions, Hall of Fame members and future Hall of Fame members that I mentioned earlier.”
He looks Sam dead in his eyes and holds it there intently for a moment, then turns toward the audience.
“I want to be the man whose name is synonymous with professional wrestling when I retire.”
“THAT is why I must become a Double-Champion at “Day of Reckoning”.
“THAT is why becoming Double Champion will mean more to me than my historic reign as Triple-Champion did.”
Sam nods, takes a breath and smiles as Zane sits in his chair with a calm and measured expression on his face. Some of the fans respond with applause and cheers, while other are more subdued in their responses. Same notices this and looks at Zane with a smile.
“The crowd seems split on that.” He says.
Zane smiles in return.
“They’re entitled to their feelings and opinions.” He replies. “All I can do is work as hard as I can to change their minds.”
Sam nods in reply and looks out over the audience. He notices another young man who’s decked out in an… unusual costume as he has a pink singlet on that’s topped off with a pointed wizard hat. His raised hand has a toy wand in it. Sam sees him, smiles and points at him.
“You! What’s your name and question?” He asks.
The man hops up and down in excitement and rapidly claps his hands together. Some of the people in the crowd laugh at him, while other roll their eyes.
“Yay!“ The fan says in an uncomfortably excited tone as he continues to jump up and down and clap. “My name is ‘Huffle My Puff’.”
Both Zane and Sam respond to this revelation with stupefied confusion before they turn and look at each other. Sam asks him if he wants to answer whatever the “colorful fellow’s” question is. Zane looks at “Huffle My Puff”, then looks at Sam, shrugs and nods.
“Huffle My Puff’”? Zane asks with a slightly elevated eyebrow. “What does that even mean?”
“I have no idea.” Sam replies.”I can find out.”
Zane lifts up his left hand and waves the question off with a slightly disturbed wince.
“No. We want to keep this a basically family friendly show” He replies. “I have a feeling that his explanation of his name could change get your channel demonetized.”
Sam shakes his head in agreement and points at Zane.
“Very true!” He replies with a smile. “What’s your question, ‘Huffle My Puff’.”
“Huffle” jumps up and down in his seat again as the person with the mic walks up to him. When the dark haired young lady reaches him, Huffle practically jumps over the five people to his right and onto her to get near the mic. The entire interaction is odd and more than a little disconcerting, but ultimately not potential assault. He finally gets to her and she holds the mic up to him while leaning back as if he’s a leper who’s trying to give her mouth to mouth.
“If you had to sort yourself and your opponents each into a different Hogwarts house, explain which ones that you’d place them in and your reasoning for why.”
Zane blinks at the question, clearly taken off guard by it. Sam’s response is momentary silence, followed by shaking his head.
“I know what that is.” Zane replies. “And I’m still a little...disturbed by his outfit. He looks like a wizard exploded inside a wrestling school and resurrected in a singlet that was made for Liberace.”
Both Sam and the fans burst out laughing at Zane’s response.
“I hope that you’re not offended if I don’t see you as a ‘Harry Potter’ kind of guy.” Huffle says.
Sam manages to reign himself in and looks at Zane as he wipes his eyes. Zane looks at Huffle with a grin.
“I’m not.” He replies. “I doubt that anyone thinks that I sit by the fire and read ‘Harry Potter’ when I want to relax.”
Sam raises an eyebrow of amusement in response.
“That’s an interesting mental image.” He replies with a lopsided smile. “I presume that doesn’t include bunny slippers?”
Zane replies with a mischievous smile.
“And if it did?” He replies. “Don’t judge...bunny slippers are awesome.”
Sam bursts out laughing again, this time a bit more uncontrollably than before. For his part, Zane just sits quietly and calmly in his chair and takes a drink from his glass.
“Are you Ok?” Zane says as Sam sits in his chair doubled over from laughter.
Zane declines his head and his smile remains in place. He raises it and opens his mouth to speak when the two are interrupted by a sudden burst of cheering and applause from the audience. The two look at each other in confusion before Sam looks past Zane and stands up.
“Were you expecting someone?” Zane asks.
Sam points off stage and begins to clap along with the audience. Zane sits in confusion for a moment before he turns and looks over his shoulder.
“Oh Christ...” He replies as he puts his hand on his face.
The view widens to reveal Creative Director Donovan Hastings as ambles up to Zane with a small dish of ice cream in hand. He’s decked out in full “Lord of Creative Pain” attire as he has his comically large, “Captain Crunch” looking “Captain’s Hat”, a royal blue shirt, expensive looking black pants and a his purple silk “Lord” cape, which is fluttering around him as he walks. He places the spoon down and scoops out a small bit, places it in his mouth and proceeds to chew it.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the UGWC Creative Director” and former Co-Operative partner in ‘Pain and Paradox’, ‘Lord’ Donovan Hastings!!”
The fans give Donovan a thunderous standing ovation, which he seems to be momentarily oblivious to as he keeps enjoying his ice cream.
“Donovan...” Zane says.
Donovan looks at him and scoops out another spoon of ice cream, then holds the cup out to the two incredibly bewildered men.
“Strawberry.” He replies. “I wanted Black Cherry Jello, but the concession stand didn’t have it.”
He punctuates his unnecessary exposition with a frown.
“Uncultured peasants.” He says with disdain. “Want some?”
Sam looks stupefied at Donovan while Zane just shakes his head. Donovan places his spoon into his ice cream and reaches up so that he can push his absurdly large and blue, Captain Crunch style hat, which has a gigantic red “C” on it back on his head. Once he’s satisfied with how it’s positioned, he resumes eating his ice cream.
“Uncultured peasants?” Sam asks. “Why would I want that? Is it normal for you ask that kind of question?”
Donovan raises an eyebrow in annoyance and looks at Zane.
“Is he always like this?” He asks.
Zane shrugs and sighs.
“Like what?” He asks.
“Asking for uncultured peasants.” Donovan replies. “Why would I keep uncultured peasants here? Slavery is illegal and indentured servitude is frowned upon. Besides, cultured peasants would be better. They can do more.”
Zane shakes his head and face palms again.
“I’m positive that indentured servitude is illegal too.” He replies through his fingers. “And I’m not certain that I want to address the rest of that...”
“Is it?” Donovan asks, clearly confused and slightly miffed at the answer. “That’s disappointing.”
“Yes.” Zane replies as he lowers his hand.
Sam blinks at Donovan, still blatantly confounded by the ever eccentric Creative Director.
“Not to be rude, sir.” He says. “But can we help you with something?”
“No.” Donovan replies as he munches on another mouthful of strawberry ice cream. “I just wanted to pop in and say ‘hi’. I thought I could offer moral support to our future Double Champion.”
Zane chuckles in response.
“Thanks.” He replies.
Donovan nods.
“Don’t mention it.” He replies. “Can someone get ‘The Creative Lord’ a chair?”
He pauses for a moment.
“Maybe you have a cultured peasant here who and provide one.” He remarks. “Although in a pinch, an uncultured one will do.”
Sam stares blankly at him for a moment and then around the room.
“Can someone get ‘Creative Director’ Hastings a chair?” He stammers out.
The next few moments can only be described as mildly ordered chaos as attendants scramble around off camera. Zane watches this, clearly not surprised by the sudden entropy that’s unfolding around him as Donovan continues to calmly enjoy his ice cream. After a few moments and an awful lot of off camera noise, an attendant finally scrambled into view with a black seated stool and places it down to Zane’s left. Donovan inspects is and looks at Zane.
“Do you think he put it down facing in the right direction?” He asks.
Zane blinks in reply.
“Right... direction?” He asks slowly, as if he’s not sure that he was just asked that question.
“Yes.” Donovan replies. “Right direction. If you place a chair down in some video games and it’s positioned wrong, you sit facing the wrong way. It wouldn’t be at all acceptable or helpful if everyone’s favorite ‘Lord Chief” spent the entire interview staring at the wall.”
Zans sits and stares blankly at Donovan for a few moments while Gray’s mouth drops open in such an exaggerated manner that he resembles a muppet. After a few moments of this, Donovan pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket, leans across and pushes Sam’s mouth closed before he holds it out for an off camera attendant to take. Zane finally shakes his head and rubs his knuckles over his eyes.
“It really disturbs me that there are still times when I can’t tell whether you’re being serious or not.” He says wearily.
Donovan pauses in devouring his seemingly never ending cup of ice cream and flashes Zane a quick toothy smile, then resumes negating the existence of his sweet and sugary snack. Donovan turns and looks at Sam, who just shrugs at him and shakes his head in befuddlement.
“Moving on.” Sam continues. “Circling back around to the ‘Harry Potter’ question. Who belongs in which house and why?”
Zane shrugs and looks at his phone.
“I honestly don’t know anymore about ‘Harry Potter’ than I did before Donovan walked onto the stage.” He explains.
Donovan pauses and looks quizzically at Zane.
“‘Harry Potter’?” He asks.
Zane shakes his head.
“Yes.” He says as he points out at the crowd. “Mr. ‘Huffle My Puff’ asked it.”
Donovan looks out over the audience at the man in the singlet and wizard hat. He lifts up the spoon and points it at the eccentric fan.
“Your hat game is strong, Mr. Pug.” He replies. “The ‘Lord Chief of Creative Pain’ approves.”
“Puff, Donovan.” Zane replies.
“What?” Donovan asks.
“His...name...is ‘Huffle My Puff’.” Zane explains.
“What’s what I called him, Mr. Pug.” He replies.
“Puff.” Zane retorts.
“That’s what I said.” Donovan replies.
“Moving on.” Zane replies. “As far as the Houses go, can someone give me a run down of what each one stands for.”
Donovan’s eyes light up he he slaps Zane on the shoulder.
“I can do that!” He exclaims. “My twins love Larry Palmer!”
Sam and the crowd all respond with dumbfounded silence as Zane looks forlornly down at the stage.
“This is going to go about as well as the maiden voyage of the Titanic…” He says to no one in particular.
Sam and the fans all look at him and once, then burst out into hysterical laughter. This goes on for a good two minutes while Donovan attempts to calm a clearly distressed Zane by explaining why he’s the only choice to explain the intricacies of J.K. Rowling’s world famous novel series.
“Seriously, Zane.” Donovan explains. “‘The Lord Chief’ knows all there is to know about Colonel Potter.”
The enthusiasm in his face is endearing, if a little creepy, but Zane still responds to it like someone is asking him if he’d prefer death by a firing squad of blind people or having a mountain dropped on him.
“That’s ‘M.A.S.H., Donovan.” He replies. “At least you got the last name right this time.”
Donovan shakes his head as if Zane is confused.
“No, I’m certain that there’s a Colonel Potter in this series.” He replies. “Heck, his name is in it, so it has to be him.”
“That’s ‘Harry’, Donovan.” Zane replies. “He’s the protagonist.”
Donovan looks suspiciously at Zane.
“Harry Stone?” He replies. “I think you have the wrong character.”
Zane shakes his head again.
“That’s ‘Night Court’, Donovan.” He replies.
“Wasn’t he a sasquatch?” Donovan asks, clearly utterly befuddled.
“That’s ‘Harry and the Hendersons’, Donovan.” He replies in a tone that borders on agonized.
Sam replies to that sudden genre change by counting the “Harry’s” on his fingers as he attempts to explain Donovan’s succession of “Harry” characters to himself. He ultimately fails and throws his hands up, then looks at Zane.
“How do you keep up with that?” He asks. “I have no idea what the hell we’re talking about anymore.”
“You get used to it.” Zane replies with a shrug as he pulls his phone out and begins to look something up on it.
“I could swear that that ‘Harry’ was the President after FDR.” Donovan says to no one in particular.
“That’s Harry Truman, Donnie.” Zane replies without looking up from his phone.
Sam and the fans burst into hysterical laughter again as Zane continues to look at his phone. He finally looks up and gestures to someone off stage. An attendant runs over to him and they begin to speak while Donovan continues to talk to himself.
“Then there’s Harry Houdini.” He says. “He did magic.”
“He was a real person.” Zane replies without looking at him. “But at least you were close with ‘magic’ this time.”
Seconds after the off stage tech disappears, a list of the house characteristics for the four Harry Potter houses pop up on the big screen behind them. Sam notices them come up onto the screen and begins to get control over himself. Donovan continues to list random “Harry” named people.
“Harry Belafonte.” He says.
“Musician.” Zane replies without taking his eyes off of the screen.
Sam quickly scans the list and then looks at Zane.
“So, let’s start with the Champion.” He says. “Which house do you think Lucy Wylde belongs in?”
Zane scans the list and opens his mouth to reply when Donovan interjects.
“House Harkonnen!” He blurts.
Sam and the fans laugh as Zane shakes his head.
“That’s ‘Dune’, Donovan.” He replies. “Wrong writer.”
“Are you sure?” He asks. “Lucy seems like she fits in House Harkonnen.”
Zane shakes his head.
“I’m positive.” He replies. “And at worst, she’d be House Corrino in ‘Dune’.”
Sam chuckles at Zane’s response as some of the fans hoot.
“I didn’t know you were a Frank Herbert fan.” He says.
“Yup.” Zane replies. “I love the ‘Dune’ series.”
Sam shakes his head and raises his eyebrows in surprise.
“Learn something new every day.” He replies.”What about our current topic?”
“There’s Harry Caray...” Donovan continues.
“He was a sportscaster.” Zane replies. “Focus, Donovan.”
Donovan snaps out of his reverie and looks up at the board.
“Wallace is a Slytherian!” He blurts.
Zane shakes his head and smiles.
“We’re talking about Lucy.” He replies with a laugh.
“Slytherian!” Donovan yells.
“Are you saying that because it’s the only word in your head?” Zane asks.
“No.” Donovan replies.”I just like the way it sounds.”
Zane shakes his head as both Sam and the fans laugh at his response. Zane looks back up at the board and considers his answer for a few moments, then looks at Sam.
“Initially I’d have said that Lucy embodied House Hufflepuff.” He replies. “When she first got here and even up through the time that she won the World Championship, she was one of the hardest workers in the company and she has this genuine ‘goody two shoes’ vibe to her. She wanted to earn her way and showed incredible dedication to doing it all the right way. It was hard not to respect it, even if I found it to be a little annoying at times.”
Sam responds with a head shake and looks at Zane quizzically.
“I sense a ‘but’ in there.” He says.
Zane nods in agreement.
“Lately, yes.” He replies. “Lately, especially since the horrific incident with her father, she’s shown an increasingly stronger lean towards House Slytherin. She seems to be fighting a growing darkness inside of her that’s threatening to consume her. I’ve been where she is and she’s walking on very dangerous ground right now. There’s a bit of a meanness to her that wasn’t really there before. I feel bad for her.”
Sam looks at Zane in genuine surprise at his last statement.
“Really?” He asks.
“Sure.” Zane replies. “Just like I said earlier, no one deserves what she had done to her. No one. As I said though, it won’t stop me from taking the World Championship back from her. It can’t. I have to win.”
Sam takes a drink from his glass and then looks back at Zane.
“What about Magdalena?” He asks.
Zane runs his hand over his beard.
“She’s a...” Donovan says with a mouth full of ice cream.
Both Zane and Sam look at Donovan in bewilderment as he keeps chewing. Zane rubs his fingers over the bridge of his nose and exhales slowly.
“What was that, Donovan?” He asks. “Your mouth was full.”
“She’s like Beast.” He says.
Zane looks back at Donovan and chuckles in spite of himself.
“That’s ‘X Men’, Donovan.” He replies. “And his name was ‘Henry McCoy’, not Harry.”
“I’m pretty sure his name was ‘Harry’.” Donovan asserts, as he waves the spoon for emphasis.
“It wasn’t.” Zane replies as he narrowly dodges a blob of ice cream. “Trust me. In regard to Magdalena, I’d say that she’s a Gryffindor. If there’s one thing that one has to admit about her whether you agree with her behavior and her actions, is that she’s brave and generally plays fair. I’m not sure that that makes her chivalrous as the descriptions says Gryffindor’s are, but I think it’s a bit pedantic to argue the difference between the two.”
Once again Sam looks surprised by Zane’s answer.
“That’s not what I’d have guessed, based on your recent Twitter reactions with her.” He replies.
Zane shrugs.
“I admit that I’ve found her recent behavior to be a bit tiring.” He replies. “I get that she’s frustrated by what’s happened with Lucy. I get that she feels that we’re not respecting her right now and I get that she feels as if she’s not taken seriously as Cross-Hemisphere Champion.The thing about that is that I respect what she can do in the ring. What I don’t respect is the petulant and childish behavior that she’s been acting out lately. She’s lashing out like an angry child, throwing a tantrum towards anyone who gets close to her.”
He pauses and takes a drink from his water.
“I went through my ‘terrible twos’ as a wrestler a long time ago.” He explains. “I understand what she’s feeling. The thing is, what she’s doing is going to cost her eventually because she’s not focused. As I said before, anger is a distraction and right now she’s practically in another stratosphere.”
Some of the fans reply with applause and cheers, while others boo his response. Donovan seems oblivious to it all as he continues to enjoy his ice cream. Sam looks at Zane with a devilish smile on his face.
“And now the fun one.” He says. “‘Vain’ Alan Wallace.”
“He’s like that doctor guy on TV.” Donovan interjects.
“What?” Sam replies with a chuckle.
“That’s ‘Doctor House’, Donovan.” Zane replies. “Hugh Laurie.”
Donovan responds to Donovan’s explanation with a shrug before he sticks his spoon back into his ice cream.
“Whatever.” He replies. “He’s still a House.”
“Right...” Zane replies before he shakes his head. “Anyway, Alan is a combination of Ravenclaw and Slytherin with a little Hufflepuff thrown in because once he decides to be loyal to someone, he sticks with them until they turn on him. Just look at Killian.”
“That doesn’t work with you.” Sam offers.
Zane smiles and chuckles.
“Well, I’m not Alan’s friend, at least not in the same way that Killian was.” He replies. “And what Alan has done recently is less about specifically stabbing me in the back and more about reminding everyone of who he is. It shows the Slytherin cunning and resourcefulness. His ambition is legendary and anyone who underestimates it is a fool. Alan will literally do anything he has to in order to win on Monday and Lucy and Magdalena better be as ready for that as I am. If they’re not, they’re in for a quick and painful night.”
“Ok.” Sam replies. “That explains the Slytherin side. What about the Ravenclaw part?”
Zane smiles.
“I would think that’d be fairly obvious.” He replies. “Alan is one of the greatest promo men in the history of the business. He’s such a good talker that he could probably sell water to a flood victim. You can’t do that if you’re not highly intelligent, even if people think you’re delusional. I don’t think that I really need to explain his wit, do I?”
“No.” Sam replies. “It’s one of his most famous attributes.”
“If not his most famous.” Zane replies. “Although he’d argue that his looks are his most famous attribute.”
Zane, Sam and the fans share a laugh while Donovan continues to eat his ice cream in silence. Once they stop, Sam looks at Zane.
“And last, but not least, you.” He says. “Which house do you belong in?”
Zane’s head leans backwards and he lets out a loud laugh.
“Ah, of course.” He says with a chuckle. “It had to come around to that eventually.”
Sam smiles.
“Yup.” He replies. “We can’t ask you to describe the others and let you off the hook about yourself.”
Zane shakes his head and looks out at the crowd.
“You’re all enjoying this, aren’t you” He says with an entertained laugh.
“YES!!!” The crowd yells in unison.
Zane shakes his head and looks back at Sam.
“Fair’s, fair.” He says with a shrug. “I don’t think that I’ve fit neatly into any of those houses during my career. In fact, I think it’s fair to say that the last two years have pushed me towards one house over the others.”
“Which house is that?” Sam asks.
Zane smiles.
“Hufflepuff.” He says. “I can’t believe that I just said that out loud.”
He shakes his head and looks out across the crowd, where “Huffle My Puff” leaps up and down out of his chair and whoops for joy as if he’s just seen his first Hermione cosplay. Both Sam and Zane look at him with expressions that are half amusement and half befuddlement for a few moments before they look back at each other.
“To each their own.” Zane says with a shrug. “Anyway, back to the story. I’ve always valued hard work, loyalty and dedication. Even when I was a dastardly villain, I was true to my chosen causes, right or wrong.”
“You weren’t too big on ‘fair play’ as I recall.” Sam says with a teasing smile.
Zane shrugs and laughs.
“No.” He replies. “I wasn’t. I was much more a Slytherin in that I was endlessly ambitious.”
“And now?” Sam asks.
“I’m ambitious now. You have to be ambitious to succeed in wrestling.” He explains. “But unlike before, my ambitions don’t cause a ‘win no matter what’ attitude. I want to win the right way and keep improving as a wrestler and more importantly, as a person. That’s been damned hard at times, being violent is hardwired into me and anger has been a bit part of my life. It’s not something you can just turn off. Thankfully, and I never thought I’d say this, but my friendship with Donovan and my time with him, Larry, Owen and Donovan’s twins have helped me realize that I have to keep fighting for these changes or I’ll just end up where I started when I first got into wrestling.”
A sideways smile appears on his face.
“Besides, I think most people could associate me with a badger pretty easily.” He says, drawing a chuckle. “And besides, they have such nice recliners. As everyone knows, I love a nice, big and comfortable recliner.”
The remark draws another rippling laugh from the fans and Sam.
“Maybe I’ll incorporate that into my entrance one of these days.” He says with a grin. “I can have a group of beautiful women bring me to the ring on a platform while I sit in a recliner and a nice glass of scotch.”
A brief and critical “ohhhhh” carries through the room. Zane shakes his head as if to chastise them.
“Not like that!” He exclaims with a smile. “Come on, people!”
He, Sam and the fans share another laugh before Sam looks back at Zane.
“Are you ready for another one?” He asks.
“Sure.” Zane replies. “Go for it.”
Sam looks out at the crowd and searches the sea of arms. He notices an attractive redhead in the middle of the room and calls on her.
“You, miss!” He says.”What’s your name, and your question?”
The young lady stands up and is clearly adorning a Kenzi Gray-Lacklan shirt on her well developed person. She smiles enchantingly at the three men on the stage and opens her mouth when Donovan suddenly blurts something out.
“Tokugawa!” He yells with a disturbingly proud smile.
The crowd breaks into laughter at his exclamation as Zane sighs and lets out a chuckle of his own.
“We’re past that part of the festivities.” He states.
Donovan replies with a shrug of his own, then looks down. An expression of profound displeasure appears on his face as he looks down at his ice cream cup and then looks up and holds it out to Zane.
“‘The Lord Chief’ will be right back.” He says. “He requires a replenishment of his confectionary joy. Maybe they’ll have Black Cherry this time, the impudent peasants.”
He stands up and pushes his comically large captain’s hat forward on his head as if the act steels him for what is guaranteed to be a harrowing battle. He storms off of the stage and disappears from view before the fans gets a chance to applaud. Sam looks in bafflement at Zane.
“Is he always like that?” He asks.
Zane replies with a wide smile.
“Usually.” He answers. “It’s a part of his quirky charm.”
“Will he be back?” Sam asks.
“Beats me.” Zane replies with a shrug. “He may completely forget that we’re here and go wandering off somewhere else. One can never tell with Donovan.”
Sam looks back out into the crowd and points at the young lady.
“I apologize for that...odd...interruption.” He says. “What’s your question?”
She smiles as the mic is held in front of her.
“Hi. My name is Mara.” She says.
“Hi, Mara.” Sam says with a smile.
“Nice to meet you, Mara.” Zane says. “What’s your question?”
Mara flashes a brilliant smile.
“If you win at Day of Reckoning, an Outlast team consisting of which four competitors would worry you the most?” She asks.
Zane smiles and shakes his head.
“That’s an excellent question.” He says. “My knee-jerk response is Kenzi Gray-Lacklan, Angelica Vaughn, Necron and Alan Wallace”
The fans applaud his response and Sam nods his head and looks at him curiously.
“Why them?” He asks.
Zane smiles.
“That easy.” He replies. “Kenzi: Talent, charisma, drive and “it” She could supplant Eden Morgan as the greatest female talent in the history of UGWC. Look at everything that she’s accomplished since initially coming to UGWC and that includes winning ‘Wrestlestock’. If ‘Chill’ had a Championship, she’d be my odds on favorite to hold it and hold it for a long time.”
Another round of cheers bursts from the crowd. Zane shakes his head in agreement and looks back at Sam.
“She has the whole ‘tool kit’, as some say.” He continues. “She has charisma to spare and is naturally likeable. She cuts outstanding promos that flow and feel natural. They’re better than many veterans. Her wrestling repertoire is excellent and balanced, she’s tactically sound and she adapts well in the ring. She has the makings of a superb ring general. Everyone should take her seriously.”
“That’s a hell of a compliment!” Sam replies.
“She’s earned it.” Zane replies. “She’d be a lot of fun to face.”
Sam smiles and takes a drink from his glass, then look back up at Zane.
“Who’s second?” He asks.
“Angelica Vaughn.” Zane replies without missing a beat. “She’s a unique combination of size, ring ability and personality. She’s more of the classic babyface type who has a natural antagonist nearby at all times. A lot can be done with that. In terms of her look, she’s a tall and pretty young woman. She looks natural instead of having frankenboobs or more plastic in her face than the dashboard of my truck.”
Sam and the fans burst into laughter at the last comment.
“Do you have anyone particular in mind with that last part?” He asks through his laughter.
“I have no idea what you mean.” Zane replies with a negative shake of his his head, but also a devilish smile.
The fans laugh and applaud while Sam gets control over his laughter again.
“Please continue.” He says.
“Angie has all of the wrestling skills and physical tools to succeed and her height will work to her advantage against some of us guys on the roster.” He says. “It levels the playing field a little.”
“Plus, she and Kenzi are friends.” Sam observes.
“Yup.” Zane replies. “That chemistry would definitely be a hard factor to counter.”
“Who’s your third person?”
Zane doesn’t miss a beat in replying.
“Necron.” Zane replies bluntly. “Look at him. He’s gigantic, powerful, merciless, calculating and devoid of conscience. Any man who Ichabod appears to fear is someone who has to be taken seriously. I admit that I find aspects of his...disposition to be a little over the top, but he makes it work and he’s been extremely successful. He can match me in power and ability to deliver and take punishment and I wouldn’t just be able to power my way past him. I’d have to dig deep, if you’ll pardon the dip into cliche.”
“You’re pardoned.” Sam replies with an exaggerated wave of his right hand. “Who’s the final one?”
Zane smiles cunningly.
Alan Wallace.”
A ripple of conversation and surprised ripples around the room. Even Sam looks a little taken off guard by it.
“Really?” He asks, shocked. “Why?”
Zane replies to the question with a momentary dumbfounded stare.
“What do you mean ‘why’?” Zane asks as if the question is ludicrous, bordering on silly. “Keep in mind that not only did I team with Alan in the most dominant faction in UGWC history when we were in ‘The Syndicate’, but I’ve also teamed with him at “Outlast” during the beginning of ‘Pain and Paradox’. When motivated to work with a team, he’s an almost irreplaceable cog.”
Sam nods in reply.
“That all makes sense.” He replies. “But I get the feeling that that’s not all.”
Zane flashes a cagey smile.
“It’s not.” He replies.”The final reason is because no man is more dangerous than the man who thinks that he has something to prove and is willing to do anything to prove it. It’s doubly more dangerous when that man is Alan Wallace.”
An inspired expression suddenly flashes across Sam’s face. He turns toward the audience with a conspiratorial smile.
“I have a question for Zane, if you don’t mind.” He says.
“ASK!!” The crowd yells in unison.
Sam turns back to Zane with a conniving smile on his face.
“Is it cool with you?” He asks.
Zane nods.
“Sure” He replies. “That’s what we’re here for.”
“Excellent.” Sam replies as he rubs his hands together. “This is going to be a bit personal, but it ties into things nicely.”
“Ok.” Zane replies with a calm smile. “Go forit.”
“Good.” Sam replies. “What is your biggest fear?”
A stricken look briefly flashes across Zane’s face, but it comes and goes so quickly that Sam doesn’t appear to notice it. He sits silently for a moment and finally takes a deep breath, then exhales slowly and answers.
“Tagging with Dave Rydell for the rest of my career.” He replies.
A loud chorus of laughter carries around the room and Zane replies by flashing a toothy smile.
“I’m kidding.” He replies. “I don’t want to team with him, but it’s not the biggest ‘fear’ of my career.”
“Then what is it?”
“Personally, it’s failing at making this change that I’ve been fighting for for the past few year or so.”
“That’s deep.” Sam replies. “Why do you feel that way?”
“It’s simple.” Zane answers. “I don’t want to lose all of the important people that I’ve added to my life over the past year. I don’t want to throw away the progress that I’ve made in the fixing damaged relationships that I’ve had with family and long- time friends and associates.”
He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, then takes a drink from his water.
“Most importantly, I don’t want to revert to living the miserable life of perpetual anger and self-doubt that I lived before I started down this path. I was perpetually miserable and it smothered every aspect of my life. I hated my life, right now do being a pro-wrestler.”
He pauses.
“I can’t go back to that, no matter what happens.” He says with unflinching resolve. “I won’t.”
Sam nods and raises a curious eyebrow.
“Why is that?” He asks. “Because you’d fail all of those people you mentioned?”
“No.” Zane replies. “It would be because I’d be failing myself.”
“That’s deep, man.” Sam replies.
Zane shrugs.
“Maybe.” He replies. “Or maybe it’s just me growing up and accepting that I’m responsible for everything that happens to me, right or wrong and deciding that I have to do the right thing even if it’s not to my benefit.”
“That sounds like a form of reconciliation.” Sam replies.
Zane nods in agreement.
“It is.” Zane replies with a shrug, as if the conclusion is self-evident.
Sam smiles and looks back out over the crowd.
“It’s hard not to appreciate that, ladies and gentlemen.” He says. “Let’s get another question.”
He searches around the audience until he settles on a middle aged man in the back. He points at the man and the young brunette with the microphone begins to move over towards him.
“You, sir.” He says. “What is your name and what’s your question?”
The young lady with the microphone reaches him and holds the mic up to him. He smiles and looks at the two men on the stage.
“Hi. I’m Paul.” He answers. “If the world should end moments after your hand is raised in victory at Day of Reckoning, what would be your biggest regret?”
Both Zane and Sam sit and stare silently at him for a few moments before Zane lets out a low whistle.
“That’s...” He says.
“Dark?” Sam offers. “Heavy? Macabre?”
Zane laughs in response.
“All of them in a way.” He replies. “But it’s a great question.”
He puts his hand to his chin and strokes his beard in thought for a few moments.
“That I haven’t finished redeeming myself.”
The entire room goes dead quiet as Zane sits with a look of genuine sorrow and regret on his face. A few sobs are heard in the crowd before Sam clears his throat.
“Ask a deep question,” He says. “Get a deep answer.”
Zane shakes his head in agreement and smiles.
“Sorry for bringing the entire room down with one sentence.” He says with an apologetic smile.
Sam waves a dismissive hand.
“No problem.” He replies. “I just don’t think that anyone was expecting an answer like that.”
Zane looks out over the fans and smiles warmly.
“At least you’re getting your money’s worth.” He quips. “Besides, wrestling is supposed to be full of surprises. You can’t say that you weren’t surprised by that.”
“True!” Sam replies. “I’m not entirely sure where to go from there, so why don’t we take a quick break. We’ll be back in ten minutes.”
Ten Minutes Later
“We’re back!” Sam announces cheerfully. “Now during the break we talked about your excitement over the direction that UGWC has been taking lately. You’ve spoken glowingly about it. With that in mind, and before we get back to questions from our fans, is there anything you’d change about UGWC?”
Zane squints thoughtfully. When he doesn’t immediately answer, a look comes onto Sam’s face as if his personal muse has chosen to serenade him.
“I have a question for you.” He says leadingly.
“Ok.” Zane replies, clearly curious and slightly suspicious.
Sam smiles a broad and gleeful smile.
“Why do I feel like a bleeding fish in the middle of a school of sharks all of a sudden?”
Sam waves a dismissive hand at him.
“Nah.” He says. “My question is, what are three things you would change about UGWC?”
Zane exhales loudly and clearly doesn’t have an immediate answer. He considers the question for a few moments and runs his right hand through his hair.
“That’s a damned good question.” He says to no one in particular.
“Thank you.” Sam replies. “Given your unique view of how the company operates as the right hand, the Enforcer of Creative Director Donovan Hastings, I figured that you’d have some interesting comments to offer.”
Zane chuckles in response.
“Well, the trick with that is not giving anything away.” He replies. “I can give you my opinion of things, but I personally don’t see UGWC has needing to change much, if anything.”
“But if you had to choose three?” Sam asks.
“Well...” Zane replies, then pauses to consider his words. “First, I’d like to see some of the newer talent pushed into some higher level programs.Talent like Kenzi, Angelica, Roxy, Necron and Sarah Lacklan pushed against some higher profile talent. I think that Kenzi against Jet would be a fantastic matchup that could help push Kenzi towards the Cross-Hemisphere Championship. I think that Kem Dynamo should go into an immediate program with whoever of us wins the Cross-Hemisphere Championship.”
He smiles.
“And yes, that includes me even as Double Champion.”
He continues.
“I know that Necron is facing Eden at ‘Day of Reckoning’ and I think that will be a great match, but I don’t think that’s what Eden needs right now. I’d also like to see Necron challenge one of our newcomers who says that he wants to earn his way up the card, Konrad Raab.”
“That would be an...interesting...fight.”
Zane shrugs.
“If Raab wants to make a name for himself here, that would be a great way to do it.” Zane explains. “Necron has been a walking wrecking ball since arriving here.”
“True.” Sam agrees. “So if that’s the first, what’s the second thing you’d change?”
Zane looks out across the room and flashes a quick grin.
“I’d mix up and straight up switch out our ‘Synergy’ and ‘Chill’ commentary teams every so often, say once a month, or combine them at Pay-Per-Views.” He explains. “I think it would give our commentary a fresh feeling and help create a greater versatility between the members of our commentary staffs.”
“Which one would you most like to see?” Sam asks.
“Personally, I’d like to see Vinegar, Chaos and Reese.” Zane replies. “Although I think that Reese, Lieberjosch and Chaos would be fun too.”
“I bet those would make the shows absolutely fascinating to hear.” Sam replies. “And probably more than a little contentious at times.”
“Sure.” Zane replies.”But that would just make them more colorful. Don’t get me wrong, Lieberjosch is a smart guy and a generally great analyst and Jay fills his role well, even if he rarely contributes anything meaningful to the broadcast. He’s a good guy, but it would be nice to rotate him out of the show every so often.”
Sam shakes his head and some of the fans applaud his opinion, while others mildly jeer at it.
“It sounds like the fans are about evenly split about that.” He says.
Zane smiles and looks out over the room.
“They’re entitled to it.” He replies.
“Yes they are.” Sam replies.”And finally, what’s the third thing you’d change?”
A wide smile breaks out across Zane’s face.
“I’d get the damned trapped door in our office to work.”
Sam and the entire room burst into laughter as Zane just sits basically a straight face, although there’s a roguish gleam in his eye and an ever to subtle smirk in the right side of his mouth. He sits in silence as Sam laughs so hard that his laugh elevates in tone to such a degree that it’s almost impossible to hear it, although he’s clearly still laughing. The room laughs along with him. They all do so for a good five minutes straight before they all get back under control. For his part, Sam has to wipe his eyes with the cocktail napkin that he has on the small table to his left. He takes a deep breath, shakes his head and acts as if he’s looking scornfully at Zane.
“Oh god.” He replies. “You completely got me with that response. Were you serious?”
Zane shrugs innocently.
“I leave that decision up to you and everyone who walks into our office.” He replies calmly.
Sam laughs and looks out at the fans.
“Keep that in mind, folks.” He says, then turns back to Zane. “What’s below the trap door?”
“A hole.” Zane replies with a straight face.
Sam laughs in response to the question.
“That’s not what I meant.” He replies. “What’s in the hole?”
Zane shrugs again.
“That’s for those who fall down it to find out.” He replies. “It could be hungry crocodiles, it could be plastic balls or it could be puppies.”
“Puppies?” Sam replies.
Zane smiles.
“It could be.” He replies with a snarky grin.
“Oooookay.” Sam answers. “I can see that you’re not going to give me a straight answer.”
“Nope.” Zane replies with a cherubic smile. “The mystery is all part of the fun.”
Sam replies with a skeptically raised eyebrow.
“For you and Donovan.” He answers.
“Yup.” Zane nods.
“Ok then.” Sam replies with a smile. “Moving on. Who else has a question?”
Both Sam and Zane scan the crowd. After a few moments they spot a young man in a blue ninja mask who is making quite a spectacle of himself by leaping up and down and wildly waving his arms. Sam points at him with a suspicious look on his face.
“Is it just me, or does he look really familiar?” He asks.
Zane looks at the absurdly demonstrative masked fan and a smirk pulls at his mouth.
“Yes he does.” Zane says with a verbal grin.”Jay.... is that you?”
The man in the mask momentarily stops dead in mid jump and nearly falls onto the floor. He catches himself on his chair and with the assistance of the very considerate and helpful people around him manages to right himself.
“N...no.” He says in an absurdly deep fake voice. “My name is.... Secret Steve.”
The entire room immediately bursts out laughing, as does Sam. Zane looks suspiciously at him for a moment.
“You sound like Sean Connery in ill-fitting pants.” He replies.
Sam stops laughing the second that Zane says it and stares at him, mouth agape, then bursts out laughing again. He laughs so hard that he squeaks, makes choking noises and emits a sound that it’s hard to find a proper adjective for. Zane stands and looks out over the crowd.
“I think I broke Sam.” He says with a grin. “Just admit it, Jay. You can ask a question anyway.”
“I swear that I’m not Covert Jay!” Secret Steve admits.
Zane takes a deep breath and looks over at Sam, who is starting to calm down. He looks back out at the audience and...
“Welcome to the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota, welcome to the”Day of Reckoning”!
“HUTTAH!!!” Secret Sam yells without missing a beat, then pauses when he realizes what he's done. “DAMN IT!!!!”
“That’s no fair.” He huffs. “You cheated!”
Zane smiles victoriously as the fans cheer and applaud him. Sam, who had just barely stopped laughing, resumes his uncontrolled and frankly painful sounding laughter as the fans join him. The now revealed Covert Jay reaches behind him and undoes the blue mask that he has on his face to reveal the red mask that he normally wears.
“Don’t feel bad, Jay.” He answers. “I’ve been around you for long enough to know you when I see you. Besides, your fake voice sounded like you doing a poor impression of Morgan Freeman.”
“Can I still ask a question?” Jay asks.
“Sure.” Zane replies with a nod.
“HUTTAH!!!” Jay exclaims. “My question is; You win at Day of Reckoning, and you get a chance to repeat your triple championship accomplishment by going after the Cooperative Championships next. Who would your partner be: Boss P, Err Bear, Muppet Cypress, or Forewell Boding?”
Zane laughs and shakes his head.
“I see that you want me to lose.” He replies. “If I had to pick one, I’d do with the Err Bear.”
“Why?” Jay asks. “It’s a bear.”
Zane points and him and his smile widens.
“It’s a bear that can bend reality.” He replies. “Why wouldn’t I want it?”
“Uh, it could cause the universe to implode before you win!” Jay replies.
Zane shrugs.
“You suggest that the Err Bear isn’t aware of what it’s doing.” He replies. “I think that you’re underestimating it.”
“That’s cheating!” Jay exclaims.
“You tell a gigantic blue bear that can warp reality that it can’t do what it wants to do.” Zane replies. “I’ll wait.”
“Ok....that’s fair.” Jay replies haltingly. “I don’t want to get my mask ripped off. I wouldn’t be a ninja anymore.”
Zane smiles and rolls his eyes.
“If Err bear got its hands on you, you’d be its version of a ‘Slim Jim’.” Zane replies.
Jay stands silently for a moment, then visibly shivers and sits down. Sam walks up next to Zane and raises his arms.
“Last question!” He exclaims.
He searches the crowd for a few moments and finally points at a middle aged man who’s decked out like a frankly disturbing amalgamation of Alan Wallace, Lucy Wylde and Maggie Lockheart. He has a “Vain” Alan Wallace blonde wig (available at UGWC.com/shop for only 49.99), along with a Lucy Wylde t-shirt (25.99) and a black Magdalena Lockheart style black dress over the shirt (weird, but only 45.00 at UGWC.com/shop). Zane looks at the man with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s some outfit.” He says with a grin.
“Thank you.” The man replies. “You won’t like it as much after one of them beats you on Monday.”
The crowd lets out a loud “ohhhh” and there are more than a few boos scattered around the room. Sam shakes his head and looks at the man.
“There’s no need for that.” He says. “We’ve had a lot of fun so far and we should end on a high note. Do you actually have a question?”
The man purses his lips and responds with an extremely creepy look.
“I have a lot more than a question.” He replies.
“Stick to the question.” Sam replies with a chuckle.
“Fine.” The man says with a huff. “Win or lose, what has been your favorite match in your career?”
“Last year’s Infinity.” He replies without missing a beat.
“That was more than one match.” The man snaps back.
“Technically, yes.” Zane replies. “But you could consider it one long match, one long test for the right to hold the World Championship again. I defeated two UGWC legends in Jet Somers and Eden Morgan to get there, two people who I have very complicated histories with. Two people who are both four-time World Champions who have been integral part of some of the most dominant factions in wrestling history.”
“Everyone knows how violent my history with Eden is. As many of you may remember, Eden and I almost killed each other earlier in our career. She was the first person to break my nose and found out the hard way that kicking me repeatedly in the face...wasn’t a good idea.”
A round of laughter ripples through the room as he smiles and makes an “oops” expression.
“We ruled this company as two-fourths of ‘The Syndicate’ and that included a run as Co-Operative Champions.” He states. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there’s no Zane Scott without Eden Morgan.”
He pauses and takes a drink.
“Things with Jet are a little different.” He replies. “Jet and I have never been allies. Through most of our careers we’ve been rivals and at times heated rivals. He’s thrown some of the most vicious criticisms possible at me throughout my career, including before and after I beat him at ‘Infinity’ in saying that I wasn’t worthy of being there. Beating him that night was a vindication for me, even if he saw it as something that somehow only happened because of Donovan.”
“I don’t usually like Jet and he’s never been my friend, but I understand how important beating him is, especially for the World Championship.”
“His criticisms be damned.”
He pauses again.
“And finally, I won it by beating the current World Heavyweight Champion, Lucy Wylde. One of my opponents this weekend.” He explains. “Again, Lucy and I have a complicated history. At times we’ve been bitter and hated rivals. At times we’ve been short term allies.”
“I respect Lucy professionally. She’s one of the most talented wrestlers I’ve ever been in a ring with.” He continues. “Defeating her to win the World Championship on the most challenging nights of my career was one its greatest and proudest moments and I’ll always cherish the challenge of it, not just the outcome.”
Sam shakes his head and smiles at Zane’s response as the fans applaud. He turns and holds his hand out for Zane to shake, which he does.
“Zane it’s been a pleasure to have you here tonight.” He says. “I wish you the best of luck on Monday at ‘Day of Reckoning’ and no matter what happens, we’d love to have you back.”
“I’d love to come back.” Zane replies. “Thank you for having me.”
One Hour Later
The stage is clean, except for the two chairs and the room has long since emptied out. The lights are dimmed, but not out. We hear a door squeak open off stage and seconds later a long rectangle of light stretches across the stage. The door slowly closes and the rectangle disappears as we hear footsteps on the stage. Moments later “The Lord of Creative Pain” walks to center stage and stops. He spoons out a helping of ice cream and pauses.
“Zane?!” He calls.
He looks around the room, clearly a bit confused by the silence and emptiness.
“I thought he’d still be here.” He says to himself. “He can be a chatty cathy.”
He pauses and wolfs down more of his ice cream.
“Zane?!!” He calls again, then finishes it off and tosses the empty cup over his shoulder onto the sage.
He pulls a second cup from under his cape, pops the lid and tosses that over his shoulder as well, then walks over and sits down in one of the two chairs. He pulls the other one until it’s across from him and then puts his feet up on it.
“I got one for you two, but since you’re not here...more for me.” He says with a shrug.
He pops another spoonful into his mouth, chews it with obvious pleasure and smiles.
“Mmmm...Black Cherry.” He says to himself with a satisfied smile.
End.