Post by CUB on Aug 25, 2018 12:37:53 GMT -5
There was a bustle in the air at the Mall of St Paul, a general buzz of excitement as a rather large crowd gathered around the stage in the middle of the food court. Shoppers eagerly awaited as the MC did some general crowd warming. Behind him stood a table set with six plates piled with dozens of hot dogs for tonight’s main event involved qualifying for Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest next July at Cony Island, New York. We look into the crowd to see the would-be “co-operative” team of Darren “Dazza” McCoy and Taylor Ryan standing just left of the MC’s podium. Daz is wearing his beaten-up South Sydney Rabbitohs jersey and a pair of ripped jeans while it appears Ryan was anticipating a trip to the gym, dressed in a worn Nike tracksuit.
Ryan: I thought you said we were going to train this week…
Daz: Hold ya horses, will ya? We are training.
Ryan looks absolutely baffled by what Daz could possibly mean by that
Ryan: I absolutely fail to see what coming to some run-down mall has to do with training, let alone standing in the middle of a food court. We have a match to prepare for on Chill, you know.
Daz grumbles
Daz: Don’t fucken remind me, ay. Useless wannabe doctor JK tryin’ ta keep us outta the ring…
Ryan sighs and mutters under his breath
Ryan: If this is how you prepare for a match, then I don’t blame him at all.
Daz snaps his head around and glares at Taylor, who throws his hands up. He decides it’s probably better to change the subject before Daz punches him.
Ryan: So why did you call our team CUB anyway?
Daz keeps his glare fixed on Ryan before gradually turning his attention back to the stage
Daz: I got the name off the bottom of me beer can. Thought it would be a cool name for a team ay.
Ryan: That is the stupidest pile of…
The MC cuts Ryan off mid-sentence
MC: Will the contestants please make their way on stage?
Daz starts to make his way up towards the stage stairs. Dumbfounded, Taylor grabs Dazza’s arm trying to prevent him from, in his mind, making a total ass out of himself
Ryan: Darren, surely you aren’t entering this… this… moronic display of gluttony?
Daz: Mate, I already told ya to fucken call me Dazza, and yeah, I’m entering the contest. So are you, this is training for our match. Fucken cooperation and shit. Now let go of me arm before I wring ya bloody neck.
Ryan: What? No, no, no, no, no. I’m not entering this “competition”. For one, its disgusting and beneath me. Secondly, I fail to see how… this is supposed to improve our chances against Kenzi and Sidney Grey.
It looks like those names have gone completely over Dazza’s thick skull as he just stares blankly at Taylor Ryan who is getting quite visibly annoyed at his partner’s lack of in-ring motivation. He sighs loudly and facepalms.
Ryan: My god, you’re a wrestler! How the hell do you not research who you’re up against?
Daz: Because I don’t fucken care, ay. I’ll still kick both their arses.
Ryan *mumbling*: Why they won’t just let me go solo on the main roster I have no idea…
Ryan *Audibly*: You should care. They’re formidable opponents. Kenzi even won the Wrestlestock Open this year. Not to mention her mother is one of wrestling’s greatest ‘What Could Have Been’ stories, surely you must know something about them?
Daz simply shrugs
Daz: So one of them won a fucken trophy and the other is a has-been. So what?
Ryan: Wait. Did… did you even watch anything put out by the UGWC in the last few months?
Again, Daz just stares blankly at him before turning around and walking onto the stage with his arms raised as if he had already won. Ryan just stands there, reconsidering his life choices
Ryan: This is my life now. I made a huge mistake…
Daz: OI! GET THE FUCK UP HERE YA CUNT! MAKIN ME WAIT TO WIN THIS SHIT, AY!
Taylor Ryan reluctantly makes his way onto the stage, looking rather grossed out by the large body-types sitting down at the long table. He looks at the plate of hot dogs that were stationed in front of him, the bright red skin almost making him want to wretch. One thought was being played on repeat in his mind, “This is certainly not organic.” Daz looks over at Ryan, and almost as if he can tell what’s going on in Ryan’s head proceeds to speak up
Daz: Oh, grow a set. It’s just a snag mate.
Ryan: It’s processed food. It’s disgustingly unhealthy.
Daz: It’s a sausage, mate. Thought you poor cunts lived on this shit.
[/i]Ryan shoots him a look[/i]
Ryan: That’s low, Daz.
Daz: Whatever. Just eat the fucken snag.
[/i]An airhorn goes off, signifying the start of the competition. Dazza has already gotten off to a decent start, having eaten about three dogs in the first minute. Taylor Ryan, however, looks to be having an internal battle as to whether he should eat the hotdog or not. He takes a very deep sigh and gingerly picks up the first hotdog. He takes one bite before he begins to gag. He throws the dog back on his pate and runs off the stage covering his mouth. The crowd boos as Daz takes a pause to glare down his co-operative partner running away. He continues chomping down as the scene fades out to the UGWC Foundry. JK is in the ring training with a few young wrestlers. Dazza and Ryan walk in to the building, the sound of the doors opening making some of the more inexperienced trainees turn their heads. The duo walks up to the ring with JK standing in the corner. Ryan clears his throat, finally causing JK to turn his head. He looks down at his stopwatch, and turns his head towards the wrestlers in the ring[/i]
JK: That’s time. Five-minute break, guys.
JK hops down off the apron
JK: About time you blokes showed up. First match in the better part of a year and this is the first time I’ve seen ya in the foundry.
Ryan: I do apologise, Jordan. I was led to believe that we would be attending more training sessions.
He turns towards Dazza
Daz: The fuck are ya lookin’ at me for?
JK: It doesn’t surprise me. I saw the news report about your unapproved attendance at that hotdog eating contest.
Ryan: You saw that??
Daz starts to laugh
Daz: Fucken ripper of a night, wasn’t it?
Jordan shakes his head
JK: You threw up on the announcer, McCoy. You made local headlines with that stunt. I’ve had to write to so many local news outlets outlining that your actions on that day were not endorsed by the UGWC. In fact, I’m very tempted to just pull the two of you from the match.
Ryan raises hand to interrupt
Ryan: I understand your dilemma, Jordan. What was done on that day was reprehensible. I understand if you feel the need to reprimand Darren… I mean, “Dazza”, but I would like to point out that I did not partake in such a barbaric competition.
Daz: Oi, fuck off cunt! If you’re competing, I’m fucken competing.
JK: Would you two let me finish? I said I was tempted to pull you. As you are not medically unclear to fight, it’s not up to me and Ichabod thought it would be funny to “See those two choads get their asses kicked.”
Ryan: I don’t think that’s very funny
Daz: The fuck is a choad?
JK sighs and points to a vacant ring
JK: Just get in and start training, will you?
Ryan: I thought you said we were going to train this week…
Daz: Hold ya horses, will ya? We are training.
Ryan looks absolutely baffled by what Daz could possibly mean by that
Ryan: I absolutely fail to see what coming to some run-down mall has to do with training, let alone standing in the middle of a food court. We have a match to prepare for on Chill, you know.
Daz grumbles
Daz: Don’t fucken remind me, ay. Useless wannabe doctor JK tryin’ ta keep us outta the ring…
Ryan sighs and mutters under his breath
Ryan: If this is how you prepare for a match, then I don’t blame him at all.
Daz snaps his head around and glares at Taylor, who throws his hands up. He decides it’s probably better to change the subject before Daz punches him.
Ryan: So why did you call our team CUB anyway?
Daz keeps his glare fixed on Ryan before gradually turning his attention back to the stage
Daz: I got the name off the bottom of me beer can. Thought it would be a cool name for a team ay.
Ryan: That is the stupidest pile of…
The MC cuts Ryan off mid-sentence
MC: Will the contestants please make their way on stage?
Daz starts to make his way up towards the stage stairs. Dumbfounded, Taylor grabs Dazza’s arm trying to prevent him from, in his mind, making a total ass out of himself
Ryan: Darren, surely you aren’t entering this… this… moronic display of gluttony?
Daz: Mate, I already told ya to fucken call me Dazza, and yeah, I’m entering the contest. So are you, this is training for our match. Fucken cooperation and shit. Now let go of me arm before I wring ya bloody neck.
Ryan: What? No, no, no, no, no. I’m not entering this “competition”. For one, its disgusting and beneath me. Secondly, I fail to see how… this is supposed to improve our chances against Kenzi and Sidney Grey.
It looks like those names have gone completely over Dazza’s thick skull as he just stares blankly at Taylor Ryan who is getting quite visibly annoyed at his partner’s lack of in-ring motivation. He sighs loudly and facepalms.
Ryan: My god, you’re a wrestler! How the hell do you not research who you’re up against?
Daz: Because I don’t fucken care, ay. I’ll still kick both their arses.
Ryan *mumbling*: Why they won’t just let me go solo on the main roster I have no idea…
Ryan *Audibly*: You should care. They’re formidable opponents. Kenzi even won the Wrestlestock Open this year. Not to mention her mother is one of wrestling’s greatest ‘What Could Have Been’ stories, surely you must know something about them?
Daz simply shrugs
Daz: So one of them won a fucken trophy and the other is a has-been. So what?
Ryan: Wait. Did… did you even watch anything put out by the UGWC in the last few months?
Again, Daz just stares blankly at him before turning around and walking onto the stage with his arms raised as if he had already won. Ryan just stands there, reconsidering his life choices
Ryan: This is my life now. I made a huge mistake…
Daz: OI! GET THE FUCK UP HERE YA CUNT! MAKIN ME WAIT TO WIN THIS SHIT, AY!
Taylor Ryan reluctantly makes his way onto the stage, looking rather grossed out by the large body-types sitting down at the long table. He looks at the plate of hot dogs that were stationed in front of him, the bright red skin almost making him want to wretch. One thought was being played on repeat in his mind, “This is certainly not organic.” Daz looks over at Ryan, and almost as if he can tell what’s going on in Ryan’s head proceeds to speak up
Daz: Oh, grow a set. It’s just a snag mate.
Ryan: It’s processed food. It’s disgustingly unhealthy.
Daz: It’s a sausage, mate. Thought you poor cunts lived on this shit.
[/i]Ryan shoots him a look[/i]
Ryan: That’s low, Daz.
Daz: Whatever. Just eat the fucken snag.
[/i]An airhorn goes off, signifying the start of the competition. Dazza has already gotten off to a decent start, having eaten about three dogs in the first minute. Taylor Ryan, however, looks to be having an internal battle as to whether he should eat the hotdog or not. He takes a very deep sigh and gingerly picks up the first hotdog. He takes one bite before he begins to gag. He throws the dog back on his pate and runs off the stage covering his mouth. The crowd boos as Daz takes a pause to glare down his co-operative partner running away. He continues chomping down as the scene fades out to the UGWC Foundry. JK is in the ring training with a few young wrestlers. Dazza and Ryan walk in to the building, the sound of the doors opening making some of the more inexperienced trainees turn their heads. The duo walks up to the ring with JK standing in the corner. Ryan clears his throat, finally causing JK to turn his head. He looks down at his stopwatch, and turns his head towards the wrestlers in the ring[/i]
JK: That’s time. Five-minute break, guys.
JK hops down off the apron
JK: About time you blokes showed up. First match in the better part of a year and this is the first time I’ve seen ya in the foundry.
Ryan: I do apologise, Jordan. I was led to believe that we would be attending more training sessions.
He turns towards Dazza
Daz: The fuck are ya lookin’ at me for?
JK: It doesn’t surprise me. I saw the news report about your unapproved attendance at that hotdog eating contest.
Ryan: You saw that??
Daz starts to laugh
Daz: Fucken ripper of a night, wasn’t it?
Jordan shakes his head
JK: You threw up on the announcer, McCoy. You made local headlines with that stunt. I’ve had to write to so many local news outlets outlining that your actions on that day were not endorsed by the UGWC. In fact, I’m very tempted to just pull the two of you from the match.
Ryan raises hand to interrupt
Ryan: I understand your dilemma, Jordan. What was done on that day was reprehensible. I understand if you feel the need to reprimand Darren… I mean, “Dazza”, but I would like to point out that I did not partake in such a barbaric competition.
Daz: Oi, fuck off cunt! If you’re competing, I’m fucken competing.
JK: Would you two let me finish? I said I was tempted to pull you. As you are not medically unclear to fight, it’s not up to me and Ichabod thought it would be funny to “See those two choads get their asses kicked.”
Ryan: I don’t think that’s very funny
Daz: The fuck is a choad?
JK sighs and points to a vacant ring
JK: Just get in and start training, will you?
