Sentinel 2/8/08 RESULTS

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Welcome to Sentinel one and all! You join us a week on from the events of ‘In Your Hands’, and boy what a week it has been, and what a show we have in store for you tonight?! We’ve got the battle royale opening things up here today…that’s then followed by the in ring debut of Chinatsu Chen when she faces Gabrielle, with Man Champ Brandon McSkinny as special referee...

Hanson: That guy's an embarrassment to the whole company Nick, he makes all the female performers look like a joke…

Vinegar: That may be true, but the fans seem to have taken Skinny to their hearts, so I think we shall be seeing a lot more of him in the future.

Hanson: I don’t know what is worse, watching Skinny trying to officiate, or the fact that inbred, caffeine junkie Randy Boolzian will be joining us for commentary on the Andy Savana, Donovan Hastings Hardcore Title Number 1 Contenders match…he better not sit next to me Vinegar, I don’t wanna catch any diseases…

Vinegar: I dare you to say that to his face, Daniel…if you do I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up calling the rest of the show on my own…

Hanson: Don’t you worry, I’ll be there for the next match to see Darkness Incarnate in their first in-ring collaboration…but it’s an unfair advantage, Dylan James could win that match on his own…

Vinegar: Of course he could, then we’ll see that Pariah Travis Roberts get in the ring with Lord Deathman, and it may well be the first time I’ll be rooting for the General of Destruction…

Hanson: That’s because you always back the loser Nick, Prescott and Roberts played Deathman over the past few months, what makes you think he’ll be able to defeat whatever cunning plan they have in store for tonight…

Vinegar: The fact that Deathman will be looking for revenge after the events at the end of ‘In Your Hands’…

Hanson: Really? It didn’t seem to me that he even remembers ‘The Revolution’ executing their master plan…he seems more focused on getting another shot at Komosube…

Vinegar: Speaking of our new Global Heavyweight Champion, we will see him in action tonight against Big B, in a match that has seen the GIW ring crew reinforce the structure of the squared circle for tonight…

Hanson: That’ll probably be the slowest paced Main Event in Sentinel’s history…

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen! Tonight’s first match is a four man over the top rope battle royale. Already in the ring weighing in at 223 pounds and 256 pounds respectively, Alex ‘Chance’ Mason and Aaron ‘The Future’ Kizz….

Vinegar: Both these guys were involved in what turned out to be Sean Jensen’s last ever match…

Hanson: I’m sure they are emotionally scarred by the incident, personally I think they should have either cancelled tonight show, or put on an entire Sean Jensen Tribute night…

Vinegar: That would be a great plan if TV Ratings were judged on sentimentality rather than the amount of viewers…

“Knights of Cydonia” hits the announce system and Levi Witham appears on the stage. The fans let out a small cheer. Levi stands and points to the skies, and we see he is wearing a black armband with the letters SJ on them…

Dennis: And introducing next, weighing in at 210 pounds, LEVI WITHAAAAAAAM!!

Hanson: He must be distraught at the loss of his brother…

Vinegar: I don’t see why, they hated each other, I’m sure he feels bad, but I doubt he feels all that awful…

“Super Rad” hits, and GIW’s first Superhero (excluding the abomination that was Modern Hero, of course) appears on top of the Globatron and then dives off the top ‘flying’ into the ring.

Dennis: Introducing finally, weighing in at 223 pounds, CAPTAIN SAVIOOOOOOUR!

Hanson: I know this guy plays to the fans a little…but there’s something about him I like, I’m not quite sure what it is…

DING!

Vinegar: No sooner do Captain Savior's feet hit the canvas, than Aaron Kizz takes him down with a spear, and Levi goes directly after Chance hitting him with a standing dropkick…

Hanson: Maybe Levi is gonna avenge his brother’s death…after all it was mainly due to that toe-rag Chance that the late, great Sean Jensen lost his mind and put that gun to his own head…

Vinegar: Well he seems to be going at him with some fierce right hooks, and Chance can only just about block an handful of them…

Hanson: Meanwhile Captain Savior has the upper hand on Aaron Kizz and has him on the turnbuckle…and climbs it…

Vinegar: He starts punching him, and the crowd starts the count towards ten….

Hanson: Meanwhile Levi Witham gets a low blow from Chance, who then climbs to his feet and hit’s Levi with a DDT to the Canvas…

Vinegar: Captain Savior has stopped at 8…and he’s looking in every direction, something seems to be wrong…

Hanson: What the hell is he doing? He just slid under the ring ropes, dodged Glen Burke and is off up the ramp running backstage…

Vinegar: And now Aaron Kizz stumbles out of the corner as Chance pulls Levi to his feet, Chance moves behind Levi…Kizz hits a Superkick…Levi Falls back into a German suplex from Chance…Folks it seems that there is an incident involving Captain Savior backstage…

The scene switches to the backstage area and we see the exit to the arena, and it is surrounded by about 20 huge guys wearing a lot of bling, some holding baseball bats other who obviously don’t need weapons. Standing in the middle, to the forefront is Professor Bling. The Head of Security and his posse are facing down Captain Savior…

Savior: STAND ASIDE! I HAVE CITIZENS TO SAVE…

Prof Bling: Yo Playa! You got a match to be wrestling Dawg. Now when you’re finished with that, we’ll be gone…

The superhero cocks his head, and looks around, obviously sizing up his chances, he then turns and heads back to the ring area…

Vinegar: Well I always thought being a wrestler and a superhero would be conflicting professions…as Savior makes his way back to the ring, Chance and Kizz have been dominating Levi Witham…

Hanson: They seem to be planning something, Levi is getting to his feet near the ropes, Chance climbs the top rope, and Aaron Kizz runs at Levi…But Levi is aware of the danger….

Vinegar: HURRICANRANA…and Kizz flies over the top rope to the arena floor…

AARON KIZZ ELIMINATED

Hanson: But Chance is still on the top rope, and as Levi gets to his feet he leaps…SHOOTING STAR DDT!!! He gets Levi to his feet and starts to throw him over the top rope…but Levi Hooks a foot…

Vinegar: Captain Savior is back in the ring…and Chance hasn’t noticed…and Savior takes his legs…and tips Chance over the top rope and to the arena floor…

ELIMINATED ALEX MASON

Hanson: Levi rolls back into the ring and gets to his feet and runs at Captain Savior who is acknowledging the fans on the other side of the ring…I’m not sure he didn’t realise that Levi held on…Levi leaps at Savior…

Vinegar: But the superhero saw it coming, and he sidesteps Levi, hooks his arm…and hip tosses him over the top rope….

ELIMINATED LEVI WITHAM

Dennis: HERE IS YOUR WINNER….CAPTAIN SAVIOR!!!!

Vinegar: He isn’t sticking around to celebrate….it seems he has lives to save and he storms off up the ramp towards some unknown calamity…

[Lord Hastings]

“Why Can’t we be friends” blares out across the arena, and the fans get to their feet as The Man Champ, Brandon McSkinny appears top of the stage, wearing his very own GIW Referee’s Shirt (which is about 3 sizes too big for him), and the Man Belt draped over his left shoulder, making him limp due to the weight of the belt and his feeble strength.

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall, introducing the Special Guest Referee BRANDOOOOOON MCSKIIIIIIIINY!

Hanson: God save us all, will he even be able to lift his arms and make the three count…I think he’d struggle to get his hand up and down twice…

Vinegar: Yet he managed to win the belt from Misery at ‘In Your Hands’.

“Warriors Code” hits the PA, and Chinatsu Chen appears on the stage, along with her manager Crimson Ghost, who stalks behind her. She makes her way to the ring, almost skipping in jubilation to the ring, smiling from ear to ear, and throwing peace signs out to all the fans.

Dennis: From Kyoto Japan, currently residing in Tokyo Japan…

Hanson: That’s one hell of a commute to LA…

Dennis: She is CHINATSU CHEEEEEEEEN!!!!!

Vinegar: I wonder if dominance runs in the family…

Hanson: She’s not exactly built like Komosube, she couldn’t be any more the opposite of that fat moron…she’s VERY easy on the eye, and she’s just so small and cute…the thoughts I am having are probably illegal…

Vinegar: I’d keep them to yourself Daniel, the last person you want knowing that you’re lusting after Chinatsu is the Global Heavyweight Champion…he’d probably swallow you whole….

“Envy” Starts to play and Gabrielle and Boyfriend Diamond Jack appear on the stage. Arm in arm, they make their way down to the ring….

Vinegar: Skinny better watch out, that woman is furious that he won the vote and went to In Your Hands and won the Title, she sees it as an affront to the whole women’s division…

Hanson: And she’s right, and I’m not just agreeing with her because she’s fabulous, but because she’s right. Brandon McSkinny is an affront to the whole company….let alone the women’s division…

Vinegar: Both women are in the ring, and they face one another. Chen nods her head forward slightly in a show of respect and the bell is rung and this match is under way.

Hanson: And that little Japanese doll quickly takes down her opponents who stands a full six inches taller with a leg sweep, she then drops a leg on the head of the Diamond Princess…

Vinegar: She gets back to her feet, and waves to the fans before climbing to the top turnbuckle….and hitting Gabrielle with a missile dropkick…and she bounces back to her feet and her smile spreads from ear to ear…she seems to be enjoying her GIW debut so far….

Hanson: I’m enjoying her debut…I think I could probably sneak her out of the arena in my gym bag….

Vinegar: You don’t own a gym bag…

Hanson: I’ll get one…Gabrielle though has got back to her feet, and now she has used her height and reach advantage to grab Chen's hair….and she executes a sublime Hair Pull Curbstomp…like a female Sean Jensen she executed that very well….

Vinegar: And I imagine Chen is enjoying her debut a little less now…

Hanson: Gabrielle now picks Chen up and hits her with a Savate Kick, and goes for the cover…Skinny you are a fool…

Vinegar: Skinny has broken the count himself, in attempting to make it, he tripped on Gabrielle’s legs and then landed directly on her…she is now batting the Man Champ away from her and quickly climbing to her feet, dusting herself down as she does…

Hanson: but Chen has got to her feet now and she bounces against the ropes, leaps, wraps her legs around Gabrielle’s head…CHILL OUT HOMBRE!

Vinegar: She looks over at Crimson Ghost and tilts he head to the side and smiles…but Gabrielle takes advantage of this show of respect and rolls Chen up….

1….

2…..

3!!!

Dennis: The Winner of this Match….GAAAAAAABRIEEEEELE!!!!!

Vinegar: Skinny goes to raises Gabrielle’s hand, and she quickly snatches her hand away from his grasp, he looks at her with a sad face, and is pleading that he is the referee, and he has to raise her hand… she shoves him backwards and he stumbles….but doesn’t fall, because someone is standing behind him….

Hanson: IT’S MISERY! Skinny turns and looks at her in fear…he starts looking back towards Gabrielle who just smiles and takes Diamond Jacks arm as he climbs into the ring….

Vinegar: Brandon is pleading with Misery not to hurt him…his arms are flapping about in that oversized shirt…she kicks him in the gut….DROP IN THE PIT!!!

Hanson: Skinny gets what he deserves!!!! As Misery turns and leaves the ring, Diamond Jack Severino raises the arm of his lover, the winner, Gabrielle!

[Lord Hastings]

"Wonder What's Next" begins playing, as Randy Boolzian enters the arena area, to a tremendous cheer. He has a Red Bull in one hand, a lit cigarette in the other and the GIW Hardcore Championship belt around his waist, in a display that puts The Sandman to shame.

Dennis: The following contest will be held under hardcore rules, with the winner gaining a Title shot for the GIW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP at EI8HT!!! Introducing the guest commentator for the match, the GIW Hardcore Champion, The Red Bull Icon... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRANDY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLZIAN!!!!

Vinegar: Here comes RBI himself, taking a seat between Daniel Hanson and myself. How are you, BoolZ?

BoolZ: Thirsty. *begins chugging away at the Red Bull can*

"Immortal" begins playing, before Donovan Hastings, wrapped in his signature dark cloak, with Calypso Desmona close behind, enters the arena area. In response, the fans begin booing heavily.

Dennis: Introducing the first contestant, being accompanied by Calypso Desmona, from Hartford, Connecticut and weighing 230 pounds, The Immortal Lord Of Pain... DONOVAAAAAAAAAAAAAN HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTINGS!!!!

Vinegar: So BoolZ, what do you think about Donovan Hastings challenging you for the bel -

BoolZ, still chugging away at his Red Bull, sticks his hand up, as if to say that he needs a couple more seconds, before he can speak. Meanwhile, "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" begins playing, being met with an enormous ovation. Andy Savana soon emerges from the curtain, cracks his neck, pops his shoulders and begins heading to the ramp.

Dennis: And the opponent, from Houston, Texas and weighing 240 pounds... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDY SAVANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Vinegar: Savana in the ring now and it seems that BoolZ is finally ready to talk.

BoolZ: Yeah, sorry about that. You see, I've learned something really important about both these men. The thing is, that -

Vinegar: MY GOD, THE BELL RINGS AND SAVANA ALREADY HAS HASTINGS IN A ROLL UP!!!!! ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!!! MY GOD, THE MATCH IS OVER!!!!! SAVANA IS GOING TO EI8HT TO FACE BOOLZ FOR THE HARDCORE TITLE!!!!!

Dennis: Your winner, via pinfall... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDY SAVANAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Hanson: That didn't just happen!!! Lord Hastings lost already?!

Vinegar: It would seem so!!

BoolZ: Hey, I didn't even get to say - ARGH!!!!

Vinegar: MY GOD! ARAGATO OUT OF NOWHERE JUST HIT BOOLZ WITH AN OBSIDIAN SCOURGE!!! WHY, DAMMIT, WHY?!?!?!?!

Aragato: FRLUGHK RAR FROGH!!!!!

Hanson and Vinegar: O.O

[Lord Hastings]

The opening chords of "We Will Rock You" are heard around the arena, this eventually fades into "Honor", and we see War and Peace standing either side of their manager Xavier Bryan. The fans sound their appreciation for GIW’s newest tag team and they makes their way to the ring just as “Iron Man” drifts into the musical ensemble that plays.

Dennis: The Next Match is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match! On their way to the ring, accompanied by Xavier Bryan, weighing in at a combined weight of 329 pounds, Marek Daisuke and Ezekiel Pax, WAAAAAAR AND PEEEEEEACE!!!!

Vinegar; Well these guys certainly wasted no time in letting GIW know what they are all about, they had some very harsh words regarding their opponents tonight, I don’t think they rate them at all…

Hanson: Well that just highlights how stupid these new kids are, Dylan James and Aesc The Darkness are two of GIW’s best performers…

Vinegar: What?

“Killing In The Name” bass notes can be heard reverberating around the whole arena, and out on stage step Dylan James, Aesc the Darkness and Christina Lust. Aesc looks across the arena at the thousands of booing fans…

Vinegar: Christina seems to have dropped some lizards down her trousers…

Hanson: She’s ‘acting sexy’…

Vinegar: What’s Dylan James doing then? Is he stimulating what we saw him do earlier this week, cause I really never need to see that again…

Hanson: Dylan’s playing air guitar you fool…

Vinegar: Why is he doing that? He’s a wrester! He looks like a gimp…

Hanson: Hey, if it was good enough for ‘The Hulkster’ it’s good enough for Dylan James…

Vinegar: But Hogan also looked like a gimp…

Dennis: On their way to the ring, accompanied by Christina Lust, weighing in at a combined weight of 540 pounds, Dylan James and Aesc The Dark, DAAAAARKNESSS INCARNAAAAATE!!!!

Vinegar: And it looks like it’s gonna be Dylan James and Marek Daisuke starting this one off, Marek gains the advantage with a Japanese Arm Drag, and follows up with a leg drop to DJ’s arm…he quickly tags in Ezekial, who hits a senton splash on the downed James, he then whips Dylan James into the far corner and runs at him…

Hanson: But DJ blocks by sidestepping away, but Ezekial is just aware enough to springboard onto the ropes and come back hitting James with a spinning DDT…he then goes over to his corner and tags Marek back in…

Vinegar: Meanwhile Dylan gets up to one knee and tries to shake off that DDT, but Ezekial Whips Marek towards DJ, SHINING WIZARD! And Marek goes for the count…

1

2…

Hanson: No! DJ kicks out at the last, Marek looks to the heavens in frustration, and whilst doing so misses Dylan James who hits him with a brilliant low blow…As Marek is doubled over DJ goes for the schoolboy…

1…

2….

Vinegar: NO! Marek kicks out, DJ gets to his feet and hits Marek with a low angled dropkick as the Human Kamikaze gets to his feet, and takes him down again.

Hanson: Now Dylan James has some advantage and he whips Marek towards Aesc’s corner…and then turns and hits Ezekial, and Ezekial tumbles to the arena floor….Xavier Bryan is not happy and he jumps on the canvas and starts to scream at Hazel East to start doing her job…

Vinegar: But in doing so he is distracting her from noticing that Aesc is strangling Marek with the tag rope…and as she turns round he drops it and Dylan James tags Hell’s Henchman into the action…

Hanson: Marek is slumped on the floor and Aesc just drags him to his feet and tosses him to the other corner, and taunts at Ezekial to tag him in, Ezekial does so and comes in all guns blazing…he jumps onto the top rope ROLLERCOASTER KICK…and but it merely causes Aesc to stumble backwards a few steps…

Vinegar: Ezekial looks shocked, but shakes than runs the ropes…FOOT N MOUTH…Aesc goes down to a knee, but manages to stay upright…as Aesc rises… he grabs his arms…SPIN YOU RIGHT ROUND…and this time Aesc’s head can’t help but hit the canvas…Ezekial goes for the cover…

1…

Hanson: No Aesc just throws him off, and gets back to his feet….he’s in top monster condition today…

Vinegar: Ezekial hits Aesc in the chest, and then grabs his head and puts him in position for the reverse DDT…

Hanson: But Aesc uses his power to reverse it…SATANIC CONVERSION!!!!

Vinegar: But he’s not done, he tags Dylan James, hoists Ezekial onto his shoulders as DJ climbs the rope…DJ leaps….BLACK IMPACT!

Hanson: Dylan James makes the cover, as Aesc moves towards the incoming Marek and hits him with a big boot…

1…

2….

3….

Dennis: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS… DAAAARKNESS INCAAAAAARNATE!!!!

Hanson: Dylan James and Aesc stand victorious in the ring…

Vinegar: BUT WAIT! 'DIAMOND' JACK SEVERINO IS IN THE RING…WITH A BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT…HE LAYS BOTH MEN OUT WITH TWO SWIFT SWINGS…

Hanson: That was a hell of a cheap shot, what the hell is Gabby doing with such scum?! He’s busted Dylan James open…

Vinegar: And he’s standing over him screaming something about who is hardcore now? I can’t imagine Gabrielle is all too happy with Diamond Jack playing with barbed wire…but it gotten the message across…

[Lord Hastings]

Backstage, Donovan Hastings and Calypso Desmona can be seen making their way down a corridor of the GIW arena, their feet dragging with defeat.

Hastings: I can't believe this. Here I was laughing so much at Skinny and now I end up just like hi -

A slow clap interrupts the Lord Of Pain's words. The camera pans out to reveal Chris Austin.

Austin: Too bad, huh, Hastings? That's a pretty tough loss. Of course we all knew you're not good enough for the Hardcore Title scene. I proved that months ago.

Hastings turns to Desmona, a look of mock confusion on his face.

Hastings: Since when was Terry Funk apart of the roster?

Desmona grins, as the pair head off camera, leaving Austin biting his bottom lip in annoyance. The camera then cuts to arena area, which instantly grows dark, while filling with boos. Several eerie musical notes play and when the lighting returns, Lord Deathman and Misery are kneeling in the centre of the ring.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall... introducing first, being accompanied by Misery, weighing 370 pounds, currently residing in The Underworld, The General Of Destruction... LOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRD DEATHMAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!

"Bummer" begins playing, being greeted by yet more boos. Travis Roberts emerges on the stage, arms outstretched, and begins heading to the ring.

Dennis: And the opponent, currently residing in Los Angeles, California and weighing 220 pounds... TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAVIS RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROBERTS!!!!!!

Vinegar: Roberts getting in the ring now, in what has to be the fastest entrances of all time. The bell rings and both men staring each other down. I guess Deathman is waiting for Roberts to 'lash out'...

Hanson: My man jelly lashed out at yo momma!!!

Vinegar: O.O Moving on... Deathman finally makes the first move and swings a clothesline at Roberts. The Blessed One ducks and connects with a Russian leg sweep! Now remember folks, these two men will be meeting in a match at EI8HT also, with the winner getting a Global Title match opportunity. Now Deathman back up and The Headliner kicks him stiff in the skull.

Hanson: So this is sort of like an EI8HT preview?

Vinegar: I'd say that's exactly what it is and whoever wins this match is going to have a huge psychological advantage over their opponent at the Pay-Per-View. Now Deathman up again and this time Roberts with a harsh elbow - but Deathman counters with a boot to the side of The Blessed One's head. The Headliner quick to shake the cobwebs from his head, but not quick enough, as The General plants him with a neck breaker.

Hanson: You don't think Travis' neck is actually broken do you?!

Vinegar: You're on a first name basis with him, now?

Hanson: Trav and I go back further than yo momma's ass!

Vinegar: Oh dear... getting back to the action in the ring, Deathman has pulled Roberts up and plants him with the Final Destination!!! Roberts cringing in pain on the mat, as Deathman kicks him harshly in the head. Now Roberts fighting through the pain and pulling himself up. The General with a powerful right fist. Roberts slides to his feet, taking Deathman down with a perfectly executed drop toe hold.

Hanson: But it isn't gonna keep Lord D-Mike down for long, Nick. He's already getting back up!

Vinegar: But Roberts plants him with a violent DDT! Roberts knows he has to stay on top to keep his chances alive against his behemoth of an opponent. But Deathman is getting up once again, The Blessed One actually taking a second to raise his arms and then knees Deathman in the side of the skull. The General goes reeling into the ropes and Roberts choking him now!!!

Hanson: Peterson counting and Roberts releasing the hold at four. Making the most of that count is a smart move.

Vinegar: Smart, but unbecoming. Now Deathman climbing up, but Roberts straight on the attack, big booting his rival right in the mask! The General back down to the canvas, but once again battling back up. Roberts takes another second to taunt to these fans - which they don't seem to appreciate - before he clocks Deathman with a - NO! Deathman blocks it and delivers a straight fist right into Roberts' gut!! The Blessed One winded here, as Deathman grabs him by the head AND IS LOOKING FOR THE VIOLENT REACTION!!! HE LIFTS ROBERTS UP - BUT THE BLESSED ONE FIGHTING OUT WITH SOME DESPERATE RIGHTS AND LEFTS!!!

Hanson: Travis rolls free and lands on his feet! That's some brilliant athleticism!!

Vinegar: I entirely agree, AS ROBERTS CONNECTS WITH A FOOT TO DEATHMAN'S GROIN!!! THAT CHEATING SON OF A -

Hanson: Now Misery is on the apron, screaming her lungs out at Roberts! She's nuts!!

Vinegar: Peterson taking a moment to warn Roberts against any further violation of the rules, before dashing over to Misery. ROBERTS LOOKING FOR THE WHITE OUT ON THE STILL RECOVERING DEATHMAN!!! AND HERE COMES PRESCOTT FROM OUT OF NOWHERE, BLASTING MISERY IN THE ASS WITH A CHAIR!!!

Hanson: And now here comes The White Out!! The revolution has - FARK!!!

Vinegar: DEATHMAN COUNTERING OUT OF THAT LETHAL MANOEUVRE, BY FLIPPING ROBERTS OVER HIS HEAD AND DUMPING THE BLESSED ONE ON THE MAT!!! BUT HE CAN'T CAPITALISE, BECAUSE HE'S TOO BUSY LOOKING ON FROM THE DOWNED MISERY TO PRESCOTT WITH THAT WEAPON!!! ROBERTS TAKES THE ADVANTAGE WITH A SCHOOL BOY ROLL UP FROM BEHIND!!!! ONE!!! TWO!!!!! THREE!!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!! THE HEADLINER WINS!!!

Hanson: Lord Deathman looks furious... or at least he would if we could see under that mask...

Vinegar: And now Roberts and Prescott making their way up the ramp, smiling broadly. They won the battle tonight, but I'm sure Deathman will have something to say about this, come EI8HT!!

[Lord Hastings]

"Slither" begins playing, before the arena fills with loud cheers. Big B Brown enters the stage, a wave of disappointment filling the arena, as it is revealed that Brandon Brown is not by his side. Nonetheless, Big B beats his chest savagely, causing a large pop, before heading down the ramp.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Harlem, New York, The 500 Pounds Wrecking Machine... BIIIIIIIIIG B BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWN!!!!!!

"Monsters Of Rock" begins playing, to a large cheer, as the arena turns black. A miniature explosion goes off in the ring, scaring Dennis and causing Brown to proclaim 'it wasn't me'. As the lights return, the pair of Hiroshima are beginning to make their way down the ramp. Komosube with the Global Heavyweight Championship belt over Komosube's shoulder.

Dennis: And the opponent, being accompanied by Aragato, from Kyoto, Japan and weighing 409 pounds, the GLOBAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... KOMOSUUUUUUUUUUUUUBE!!!!!

Vinegar: Komosube getting in the ring, as the bell rings. Aragato taking up position at the apron, as these two giants lock up. Komosube pushing B slowly backwards and gets him on the ropes. Now he hits The Wrecking Machine with a stiff chop to the chest. B returns the favour with a chop of his own! Komosube with another chop! Then B again! Komo! B! Komo! B! Komo! Komo! B! Komo! B! Komo! Komo! Komo! B! Komo! Komo! Komokomokomokomokomo!!!

Hanson: B getting pummelled here!

Vinegar: Now the Champ whips B to the ropes. The fat man comes trundling back off the rebound and Komosube with a TREMENDOUS belly-to-belly suplex! Unbelievable strength being displayed from the Global Champ.

Hanson: But B is getting back up, Nick. And he looks angry!

Vinegar: But Komosube isn't giving him anytime to breathe and smashes B in the head with a stiff shoulder block! Komo really coming out strong here. And remember that Komosube made his PPV debut against Big B. B won that match, but Komosube has changed and grown so much over these past few months, as we're seeing here.

Hanson: Meanwhile, B has become even fatter and been kicked out of The Dark Knight eight times!

Vinegar: Where do you get this information? Your rear end?

Hanson: Yo momma's rear end!!!

Vinegar: Gah... getting back to the match, B is on his knees now, trying to get to a vertical base, but Komosube kicks him harshly in the face - NO! B catches his opponent's leg and pulls the Champ's feet out from under him!! Komo is down and B dives straight on top of him!!! Look at that collision of humanity!!!

Hanson: Well that sure isn't pretty, but it gets the job done.

Vinegar: I have to agree, as B is now up to his feet and beating his chest like a gorilla!! He's looking to inflict some pain on his opponent!!! He pulls Komosube up and plants him with a Samoan drop!! Big B demonstrating some massive strength of his own!

Hanson: But Komosube is getting up, Nick, and he looks eager to fight!

Vinegar: B looking for a pile driver, but Komosube fights free with some quick rights and lefts to The Wrecking Machine's enormous belly!! Now Komosube looking for a vicious standing clothesline!! The impact of that blow sends B sprawling backwards, but he remains on his feet. B looking ticked off and responds with a clothesline of his own! Komosube goes stumbling back a few steps, but he too can't be knocked down.

Hanson: And now both men lock up once more! They're both so powerful!

Vinegar: And Komosube with the advantage once more, whips B harshly into the corner. Now the Global Champ charges full speed at his opponent! Looking for a body splash, but at the last second he swings his elbow, throwing his whole body weight into that attack and planting a stiff blow right into B's aching chest!

Hanson: Now Komosube pulling B out of the corner, Nick, and he's looking for a power bomb! HA! He's beating his chest just like Big B!

Vinegar: But The Wrecking Machine takes this opportunity and counters Komo, flipping the giant over his back and the Champ lands neck first across the top rope!!! He springs back into the ring and hits the canvas so hard, the entire ring shakes and Burke loses his footing!!

Hanson: Now B beating his chest and screaming like a wild beast!

Vinegar: Komosube back up, clutching his throat, BUT B LOOKING FOR THAT POWER BOMB!!! BOOM! HE NAILS THE BIG B BROWN BOMB!!! HE LEAVES THE LEGS HOOKED AND BURKE MAKES THE COUNT!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!! IT'S OVER!!! B WINS!!!!

Dennis: Your winner, via pinfall... BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG B BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWN!!!!!!

Hanson: Unreal! B just scored a clean win over the Global Champ!

Vinegar: But look! Aragato on the apron, stalking Big B! And The Wrecking Machine daring him to get in the ring!!! AND MR. DEATHMATCH COMPLIES!!!

Hanson: But look! Brandon Brown slides in from the other side!!!

Vinegar: AND HE SUPERKICKS THE HELL OUT OF ARAGATO!!!! BRANDON BROWN GOT HERE IN TIME AFTER ALL AND NOW KOMOSUBE GETTING BACK UP!!! LOOK AT THE FURY IN THE EYES OF BOTH CHALLENGER AND CHAMPION!!!

Hanson: These is nuts! What's gonna happen now?!

Vinegar: Sadly, we don't have time to find out! Folks, this Sentinel has reached it's conclusion. I'm Nicholas Vinegar, here with Daniel Hanson, hoping you can join us next week to see the fallout from this great show! Until then -

Hanson: - KEEP IT REAL, DAWGS!!!

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

Trav and P did everything