Post by Magdalena Lockheart on Sept 29, 2018 22:12:39 GMT -5
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“Captain? Captain, are you in there?”
The indelible, caramel baroness of the Lacklan family, Kenzi Grey-Lacklan, did not mean to barge in uninvited, but when she saw the locker room door left open a crack she'd figured that it was worth checking out.
There was just enough space for her to squeeze her head in to find out. She had to scope the room out, just to be sure after all. The lights were on on the inside of the locker room, but it was quiet. Too quiet.
She would have tried the polite route, but she knew knocking would only serve to push the door open further. What if she left the door open by accident? Kenzi wondered. What if it was no mistake at all?
It was at this point that she saw her; saw the back of the silver-haired superstar as she sat motionless on a bench facing the far wall. She must have been depressed, Kenzi reasoned, coming so close and yet still falling so far was a blow to the ego that resonated deeply within her. A kind-hearted woman above all else, Kenzi felt sorry for her Captain.
“Oh thank goodness. I've been looking for you everywhere.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, she walked over and placed her hand on Maggie's shoulder in an effort to comfort her.
“Jordan said that you might be back here... said that you could be injured.” She muttered cautiously. She couldn’t tell if Magdalena was just giving her the cold shoulder now that Outlast was over or if she just wanted to be left alone. “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. I heard that Vain got you in the eye pretty badly.”
Maggie, for whatever reason, did not respond.
“Hey, I know it's tough.” Kenzi continued. “But you'll get through this. Vain is… (sigh)... He's one heck of a competitor right now. He's been doing this for a long time, a lot longer than you and I combined really, and he's just… on top of his game right now. But not to worry, Captain, like you said so yourself: you'll get there someday.”
Kenzi patted Maggie on the shoulder.
“I know what it’s like to feel like that you’re not good enough to belong. I felt the same way when I first started fighting here in UGWC. Just like Outlast last year... and Outlast this year…”
Kenzi waited for Maggie’s response, but nothing came. Alright, she thought, this wasn’t working. Perhaps I need to step up my game on my pep-talks.
Kenzi sat down beside her now former Captain. She peered over in her direction only to notice that Mags was still hunched over with her head down, her matted, flowing gray locks shielding her face from plain view.
“Come on Captain, it’s not that bad right?” Kenzi continued, giving Maggie a little nudge, shoulder to shoulder. “There’s always next wee-”
But the nudge sent Maggie over. The former Cross-Hemisphere Champion’s body toppled over and the side of her head smacked hard into the bench seat.
“-eeeeee… Mags? Maggie? Captain?”
Kenzi grabbed Maggie by the arm and shook her. No response.
“A-are you okay?”
The Queen of Chill shook her Captain’s body again.
No response.
“Oh my God-”
Kenzi jumped off off of the bench. She moved to Magdalena and quickly brushed the hair away from her face. What she saw beneath was Maggie’s eyes peering back at her. But they were motionless and cold.
“No!”
Kenzi pulled Maggie back up into a seated position. She slapped her on the face several times and shook her body even more. The entire time she kept repeating the name of her Outlast Captain aloud, with each instance of her name sounding more urgent than the last. But nothing that she did caused Maggie to wake up. Lockheart would simply slump back over the moment Kenzi moved her hands away.
Then the realization hit her like a cinderblock hidden in a cardboard cutout: Magdalena Lockheart was dead.
“Oh fuuuu-”
“Hey.”
“-uuuAHHH!!!” Kenzi nearly jumped out of her soft, silky skin. Her eyes shot up to see the UGWC Head Trainer Jordan King standing in the open doorway. “Wha… wh-wh… wha-wha-what are y-y-you…”
“I heard a loud bang out in the hall. Everythin’ alright in here?” King asked.
“Ye-yeah.” Kenzi replied, all the while beads of cold sweat poured from her like firing bullets from a machine gun. “E-everything’s fine. I-I… I was just a little upset about what happened tonight. So I was telling Maggie here that I… uhm… I… uhh… felt like I let the team down a little. Yeah, that’s it. So… I… uhh... I punched a locker. Yeah… I just punched that locker over there. Real hard too.”
“That… makes sense.” King responded, drawing out the pause between his words dramatically. “Come ta think of it, it did sound a wee bit metallic, now that ya mention it. But I hope ya didn’t hurt yourself any.”
“No…” Kenzi said as she held up her fist. “I’m fine… It-it’s j-just-”
“No worries lass.” King responded kindly. “Don’t feel bad about bein’ frustrated, eh? Happens to tha best of us. Anyway, as long as you’re fine, the way I’m seein’ it… no harm, no foul.”
“I’m not worried about that!” Kenzi replied. “It’s Maggie-”
King’s eyes lit up. They widened like saucers. This makes Kenzi fear that King has figured out what was really going on there.
“Oh!” JK responded quickly. “My apologies lassie. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Kenzi Grey stood next to the body of Magdalena Lockheart, twitching nervously.
“In-Inter-” She gulped hard. “In-Interrupt?”
“Yeah… I see now that you and little Maggie were in the middle of some bondin’. It’s probably best if I be on my way now. Wouldn’t want you girls thinkin’ of me as a peeping Tommy.”
“B-b-but wait-” The Red Queen’s wife pleaded as Jordan turned for the door.
“So long now!” King said with a wave goodbye as he passed through the doorway. “Kenzi, Maggie, always a pleasure!”
King shut the door behind him before Kenzi could get another word in. He left her there to contemplate just what in the hell it was that she was going to do next. Kenzi’s mind raced. Should she run out into the hallway and bring King back? Should she call 911 and tell them that she found Magdalena Lockheart dead?
Kenzi pulled her phone out of her pocket and began to dial 911. She heard the operator on the other end of the line answer the call and ask her what the nature of the emergency was. Kenzi quickly hung up.
What if they thought that she did it? What if everyone assumed that Magdalena was murdered, and Kenzi Grey-Lacklan was the culprit? Kenzi couldn’t risk damaging her five-year plan; she couldn’t risk throwing her entire life away over a girl she had grown to respect but hardly even really knew. Besides, Kenzi knew that she wouldn’t do well in prison, considering the fact that she most definitely was not a lesbian.
Consumed by fear, Kenzi called the one person in the entire world that she absolutely knew that she could trust; the one person in the entire world who would believe that she just so happened to mistakenly stumble upon Maggie’s body. Kenzi smacked the name on her contacts list and brought the phone up to her ear. Tears formed in her eyes as she quivered into the phone-
“B-Beloved...?”
* * *
“I can’t believe she’s ser dead.” Sarah Selena Grey-Lacklan said as she stood over the hunched-over body of her biggest adversary (not named Lucy Wylde.) “I totes can’t believe the dumb ugly c**t is finally dead.”
“Hey. She’s not ugly.” Kenzi said while wiping away her tears with a 500 dollar handkerchief made only of the finest silk and 14 karat gold thread that her wife provided for her. “Have more respect for the dead.”
“Pfft. Like I care.” Sarah snarled. She toyed with Maggie’s head, tilting it back and forth just to watch it fall lifelessly to one side or the other. “I’m just totes mad that I didn’t get to kill it myself. ”
“She’s not an it, okay?” Kenzi snapped back. “Like her or not, she is my Captain and I take responsibility for her!”
“She was your Captain.”
Kenzi rolled her eyes. The two argued a bit more. Sarah struggled as she lifted the body of Magdalena Lockheart up. Strong in the arms, but still weak in the legs, Lacklan dragged Maggie over to the awaiting wheelchair that Sarah was forced to get out of storage for this particular plan. Kenzi watched as Sarah did most of the work herself; she was too busy panicking.
“This will obvs not work.” Kenzi chattered. “This will so tobvs not work!”
“Do you have a better plan Kenz?” Sarah snapped back. “You’re the one who called me. Now relax and grab the DUC tape.”
Kenzi scoured the bag of items Sarah brought along to facilitate the ditching of Maggie’s body. She found a roll of duct tape and tossed it over to Sarah.
“Wait, aren’t people gonna see the tape?”
“Not if we hide it under something.” Sarah replied. “Whatcha got?”
“I’ve got… uhh... a CoolKids hoodie.” Kenzi said after searching the locker room. “Will that work?”
“Bring it over here and help me get it on this loser, okay? The less time we waste the better.”
“I-I just don’t understand.” Kenzi replied while rushing over with the hoodie. “How is any of this supposed to help me?”
“You were the last person to be seen alive with the Magster.” Sarah replied while repositioning the body so that the hoodie could go over it. “But nobody else knows that she’s dead yet. So Maggie totes had one of her little meltdowns after Outlast and went away for a while. She disappeared not telling anyone where she went, got it?”
“I-I think s-so.” Kenzi nods her head.
Sarah and Kenzi both work to slide the hoodie over Maggie. They struggle to get her arms through the holes. After dressing her, they push Maggie back into the chair, and Sarah uses the tape and a knife to secure Maggie’s wrists and waist to the chair without any onlookers being able to see the restraints. The two women stand in front of the chair looking down at Maggie as she coldly stares back at them with unmoving eyes.
“This is so not going to work Sar!”
“Totes is.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Sarah smirks as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her favorite pair of Gucci Pineapple sunglasses. Sarah unfolds them and places them over Maggie’s eyes, giving her corpse a unique, but classy, refined look.
“Now all we do is give the signal to intern number 666 to come in and dispose of that hideous body. We use Maggie’s fingerprint to unlock her phone… and… voila… a few Digital Pigeons to Lucy about being a loser and a tweet with some song lyrics about going to find herself… and in six months no one will remember who Maggie Lockheart ever was.”
“You can’t do that!” Kenzi said, giving Sarah a light shove on her shoulder. “That’s not right!”
“She would do the same to me.”
Sarah sorted through Maggie’s unlocked phone and was snickering at some of the things that she saw. She began to tweet exactly as the way that she said that she would earlier.
“This is wrong… this is very, very wrong.”
“Ikr?” Sarah replied. “Totes shouldn’t have to waste a perfectly good pair of sunglasses just to throw out the trash.”
Maggie’s head bobbed and bounced as the wheelchair rolled through the parking lot.
A member of Sarah’s (totes legit) legion of interns pushed the wheelchair along the rough pavement. He was taking her to the van that he would eventually use to dump her body with. Lockheart’s expression could best be described as stoic, behind the several-thousand dollar Gucci sunglasses and above the #CoolKids logo on her chest. With her arms and waist bound to the wheelchair she appeared as though she was going along for the ride.
The intern was given a detailed map of the backstage area to avoid cameras and other bullshit that would ruin the fun nature of this story. He made it all the way back to the loading dock where two vans waited side-by-side with their backdoors opened. The one on the left was his inconspicuously conspicuous plain white van. The other one? A white van just like the one he was driving, but it was for the UGWC rigging crew.
He knew that he was placing his own life on the line, and the lives of his employers should he get caught. Legionnaire number Triple 6 did everything that he could to avoid detection with the body of Magdalena Lockheart, and was pleased to see the end in sight. He was already thinking of how he’d take the van out to the ocean where a boat would be waiting to ship the body far out to sea.
“Hey!”
But before he could realize it, he was being tailed by a member of arena security. In a panic he shoved Maggie into the back of the van closed the doors before the security guard could catch up to him.
“You there! You can’t be in here without authorized access! I’m going to need to see your pass!”
But the penniless intern wasn’t about to give up the rest of his life, either by being caught in possession of a dead body, nor by failing Sarah Lacklan. So he fled into the driver’s seat of his van and peeled off out of the arena parking lot. The only problem?
The doors to the back of his van were still open.
The arena security guard chased the van as far as he could on foot. Eventually he stopped running, stopped shouting at the mysterious man to stop. Meanwhile, two riggers for the UGWC production crew pushed through the exit doors into the parking lot.
“Ahh. So glad this one’s over. Pay Per Views are the worst.” The one worker said as he smacked the side of the van.
“At least the next gig’s easy.” The other worker replied.
“What is it?”
“A Christmas Party.”
“A Christmas Party? In September?”
“Yeah.” The first worker hops into the driver's seat of the van. “Crazy, huh?”
“Why in the blue hell are we doing that?”
“I dunno why. But I will tell you this, my young apprentice… A Mr. Chad “Chaos” Anthony is hosting this particular early Christmas party at Mixxxies. You wouldn’t want to miss that, would you?”
“Absolutely not!” The passenger clasps his hands together in glee. “I bet there’s gonna be some fine ass bitches at that party, woohoo!”
The driver chuckles as he starts the van.
“Well son, I hope you have an ugly sweater with ya. You’re gonna need it.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously.” He says with a smile, throwing the van into drive. “...and you might want to take a shower too, boy. Lord, do you stink!”
Mixxxie’s
The Following Night
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this...”
Sarah smacked Kenzi on the back.
“Shh. Lighten up and do as I told you.”
Sarah whispered her orders directly into the ear of her wife as the two passed through the threshold at Mixxxies. The party had already begun, but who else would or could be as fashionably late as the CoolKids, specifically Team Kickass in all their amazeballs glory? Nobody, that’s who. Sarah and Kenzi shed their expensive fur coats that totes cost the lives of at least six gray foxes a piece and handed them off some tatted-up biker whom Sarah had chosen to ‘mistake’ as concierge.
“I don’t like this.”
“I know you don’t Kenz, but listen.” Sarah said while straightening out her ugliest of sweaters. “This is honestly the best thing that we can do right now… be out in the public and be seen. So just relax.”
“I know but, we haven’t heard a word from the intern yet.” Kenzi whispered back.
“I put my best man on the job. He’ll get it done.”
At the front of the room filled with chattering partygoers, Chad “Chaos” Anthony called everyone’s attention with a microphone in one hand and a beer in the other.
“I hope you fuckers are having a good time. I just wanted to remind you all that if you wanted to be a part of the Ugly Sweater competition later on tonight that you’ve got to come up here and sign-up. But damn have I seen some ugly fuckin’ sweaters already, almost as ugly as some of the mugs on you fuckers-”
The entire crowd laughs at Chaos’s particular brand of humor. In the back, Sarah and Kenzi keep whispering.
“Are you sure?” Kenzi whispers.
“I’m sure.” Sarah whispers back. She grabs a couple of adult beverages off of the nearby bar.
“How sure?”
“Like, really really sure.” Sarah replies. “Now have a drink and relax.”
“-So far we’ve got all of your typical faces. Lucky’s fucking here. Hate to say it, but Vain is too. Or is that whats-his-name? I can’t tell, or I’m just too fuckin wasted to care. Necron’s in this. Let’s see, uhh, Zane Scott has entered as well-”
“But why wouldn’t he have reported in by now?” Kenzi asks Sarah. Sarah shrugs her shoulders.
“I dunno. The windows phone I gave him should work just fine out in the middle of the ocean.” ”
“Maybe you should call him, Sarah.” Kenzi pleaded as she begrudgingly took the drink that Sarah gave her into her hand. “I’ve just got to know that all of this is behind me before I can truly move on. Once I know it’s done, I’ll feel a lot better about things.”
“Look. She’s gone, okay?” Sarah responded sharply. “Our little problem is probably being tossed over the boat right now, only to sink into the deepest part of the ocean and to never come back. We’re here and she’s not only dead, but a bajillion miles away, alright? Trust me. From this point forward, you will probably never even hear her name ever again.”
“-Oh, and I almost forgot.” Chaos blurts out into the microphone. “We’ve even got Magdalena Lockheart getting in on this with her festive spirit. Say hi to the crowd Maggie!”
Both Kenzi and Sarah spit out their drinks in unison as the crowd cheers for Maggie. They look over to see Zane Scott standing behind Magdalena Lockheart as she sits still taped to the wheelchair, still with those ridiculous pineapple sunglasses still covering her eyes. Chaos laughs it off when he doesn’t get a response from her.
“Looks like you’ve had too much to drink little lady. Anywho, I’mma get off of here. Enjoy the party everyone!”
The crowd cheers again. Well, all but Kenzi and Sarah who stare at each other wide-eyed and perplexed.
“B-b-but-”
“H-h-how?”
* * *
Several Hours Ago
The same van carrying lighting and sound equipment for last night’s Outlast pulled up at the back entrance of Mixxxie’s. The two workers were told that they could use the ramp in the back to unload the equipment much quicker and easier, even if it meant having to take it all through the kitchen on their way out to the main hall. They accepted the offer from Mixxxie’s staff. With the backdoor to Mixxxie’s already opened for them, the driver of the equipment van backed it up to the ramp and instructed his coworker to open up the doors in the back. The second worker did as he was told, and then moved out of the way, not noticing their extra bit of cargo that they had picked up last night. The driver backed the van to the point where the rear bumper of the van came into contact with the rubber pads of the ramp.
The jarring of the van caused the wheelchair carrying Maggie’s body to go back into motion. The chair traveled just far enough out of the back of the van to coast out onto the ramp, where gravity and the pitch of the ramp could take over. The wheelchair picked up speed, and before long the chair and its passenger rolled right through the back door of Mixxxies and into the kitchen area. Momentum carried Maggie through the doorway of an open ‘walk-in’ and her impact with the back wall of room-sized refrigerator closed the door behind her.
One Hour Ago
“What-ta ya doin- in my-ah kitchen! You-ah can’t-ah be-ah a back-ah here-ah!”
An angry chef kicked the door open to his walk-in and shoved the wheelchair, and the girl, right out. The motionless body of Magdalena Lockheart clung to the chair (thanks to the tape) even after bumping up against a set of shelves, and being turned back towards the chef as if Maggie had meant to face him. He came storming out of the walk-in with all kinds of fresh raw ingredients in his hands. It seems as if this Early Christmas Party was going to have more guests than they had anticipated and the last thing that he needed was another piss-drunk girl fumbling around in his workspace.
“If you want-ah more-ah drinks-ah, you can-ah get them-ah from the bar-ah!” He shouted down at her. But cool as a cucumber in typical Maggie style, she was nonplussed at best at his raised voice - which only ticked him off more. “Somebody-ah, get-ah her outta here-ah!”
“Yes, Chef!”
One of the Chef’s kitchen aides, perhaps penniless himself, grabbed the back of the wheelchair and rolled Maggie back out into the main area of the club.
* * *
Sarah and Kenzi looked over at each other, each one knowing that they were thinking the same thing but neither one of them wanting to particularly say it aloud. What they were seeing, was it even possible?
“Wh-wh-what do we do?” Kenzi started shaking. She nearly dropped her drink.
Sarah grabbed her by the shoulders. “Chill bb. Maybe that’s not her. That’s it! That’s just somebody that looks like her… this is all just one big mixup, you’ll see.”
Both Sarah and Kenzi glared over through the crowd at Magdalena Lockheart sitting there, motionless and bound to a wheelchair, also while wearing a CoolKids hoodie, and wearing ungodly expensive Gucci Pineapple shaped sunglasses.
“Yep, you’re totally right, Sar. She’s definitely an impostor.”
“Shit up, Kenz!”
“No you shit up!”
“No you shit up!”
“Ladies, can I help you with anything?”
Both Sarah and Kenzi jumped like this was a halloween party instead of an early christmas gig, but were only mildly relieved to see that the man who had approached them was none other than UGWC’s resident boyscout Zane Scott.
“Uhh…” Kenzi finally replied after catching her breath. “N-no, why would you ask that?”
Zane chuckled.
“Nothing nefarious, I can assure you.” He said, almost as if he knew what was really going on. “I just saw that you two wore your ugly sweaters to the party. I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t miss the signups.”
Sarah went from sipping to gulping her drink. She glared up at him, Zane being much taller than her. Kenzi plastered on her best, fakest smile; although on the inside she could feel it, and herself cracking.
“Aww that’s… uhh… that’s very nice of you.” She replied. “But if you’re in it, why would you want us to join it? Just so you could lose?”
“Ha ha. I’ve always appreciated that particular humor from you. But you should know by now that this is all in the spirit of good competition, which I like.” Zane replied. “Besides, I think I’ve got a pretty ugly sweater on, perhaps the ugliest ever. But I do like what you girls have done and all… is that a picture of a whale you’ve got pinned to your chest there Sarah? Not very christmasy if you ask me.”
“It’s a picture of Kem.” Sarah bit back snarkily. “...and for the record nobody asked you. Not like yours is any better idiot.”
“Alright, I see how it is.” Zane Scott replied in his plain red turtleneck sweater. “I thought you might like it because it matches your eyes. But now I’m starting to like Maggie’s sweater even more.”
Both Kenzi and Sarah freeze yet again.
“M-Maggie?”
“Yeah, I spoke to her earlier.” Zane responded to Kenzi confidently. “I tell you what, she seems like she’s still real upset over what happened last night. Perhaps you ladies could go talk to her and warm her up with a little Christmas cheer...”
“Ain’t nothin’ gonna warm her up anymo-” Sarah almost blurted out before Kenzi sharply elbowed her in the ribcage. Kenzi chuckled nervously up at Zane.
“What my totes obvs drank-too-much wife meant to say was, we’d love to go cheer Maggie up!”
“That’s great.” Zane said with a genuine smile. “She doesn’t need to feel down about her performance last night. She’s such a great fighter. She should be proud.”
* * *
Glenn, the proxy, was filling in for Vain when he stumbled across Magdalena Lockheart sitting motionless in a wheelchair.
“So, uhh, you enjoying the party?”
“...”
“Well I know I am. By the way, I really like the CoolKids sweatshirt. That’s a great dig on Sarah. Calling the CoolKids ugly and all.”
“...”
“You know, I didn’t even want to come to this. I threw my invitation out the moment I got it. Because I’m Vain Alan Wallace, and I don’t do parties that aren’t all about me, Yours Truly!”
“...”
“Ahh shit, you know I’m Glenn, don’t you?”
“...”
“What gave it away? Was it the hair?”
“...”
“Fine. You don’t have to tell me, Maggie. But just between you and me, I don’t even work for that prick anymore.”
“...”
“Why? Because I hated it, really. The pay sucked, and it got even worse when Alan started asking me to go in and actually wrestle you guys. Damn, I must say, for a girl you hit pretty hard too. Oooh boy, I wasn’t expecting that kind of impact from you at all!”
“...”
“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have said that. It’s 2018. Women are just as capable of doing anything that a man can. I’m sorry Maggie. Will you forgive me?”
“...”
“I understand if you don’t want to speak to me anymore. That’s fine. But if you could do me one favor though and I’ll leave you alone?”
“...”
“Don’t let anyone else know that I’m not really Vain.” Glenn whispered to the corpse nervously. “I could really use the prize money from the ugly sweater competition.”
* * *
Necron, perhaps the only man large enough to make Zane Scott look like a child in comparison, smokes a coffin nail cigarette by the horderves table and flicks his ashes into the punchbowl. Sarah and Kenzi rush up to him in a frenzy. Necron could not care any less.
“Hey Necron… wasn’t expecting to see you here!” Kenzi really tried to pour on the charm. “What brings you to an early christmas party, eh?”
Necron took another long drag from his cigarette and flicked more ashes into the punchbowl.
“Santa is known for having a list and checking it twice.” Necron spoke in dark tones. “He’s going to find out who is naughty and who is nice. That is, if the Grim Harvester leaves him anyone left.”
Sarah chugs down the rest of her drink and drops her empty glass on the table next to Neccy. Her eyes glance up at the cigarette in Necron’s mouth just before Kenzi elbows her in the ribs again.
“Yeah, that’s uhm… that’s great.” Kenzi replies. “What if I told you that Santa had an early Christmas present for you this year?”
Necron perks up.
“Then perhaps I wouldn’t eviscerate him.” He replies. “Until after I opened my present anyway.”
“Cool beans.” Kenzi nervously chuckles. “So hey uhh, I have it on good authority that there may be a… be uhh… uhm... ”
Kenzi looks over to Sarah for guidance. Sarah is crossing the line into drunk.
“What my beloved means to say is that there’s a little rumor going around that there’s tobvs dead body somewhere on the premises here.”
Necron’s eyes widen. He drops the cigarette into the punchbowl. He tilts his head back and lifts his nose up into the air and sniffs it like a wild predator.
“Well I’ll be damned.” He lets out in a deep, throaty husk of a growl. “If you ladies will excuse me. The reaper has a soul to collect.”
Necron goes stomping off in the first direction that he chooses, letting his nose guide him. Sarah and Kenzi are left standing at the punchbowl, staring at each other.
“Oh god, what have I done?” Kenzi pleads.
“Alright now, if we could get all of the ugly sweaters up here so us fuckers can judge the shit.”
Chaos spoke into the beer, and then tried to chug the microphone. Zane Scott was already standing next to him, as if the motherfucker was up there reciting the pledge of allegiance in school. Alan Wallace’s proxy stood next to him, and next to him where Kenzi and Sarah Grey-Lacklan, the latter of which had a drink in her hand as well. Others had since joined them in the line, but Magdalena Deadheart was nowhere to be found. Kenzi grew nervous after looking over to the spot where her dead captain and her wife’s wheelchair were sitting, only to find that spot now empty. Necron was missing as well.
Kenzi leaned over and whispered to Sarah.
“Where’s Maggie? I don’t see Maggie?”
“Shit up about fucking Maggie already!” Sarah replied, in not such a hush tone. “Jesus you’re like a damn Twitter Lesbian lately… I don’t know what’s gotten into you!”
“No, you shit up Sarah!” Kenzi replied sharply, having endured just about as much emotional and mental stress as she could take. “I’m not a goddamn Lesbian!”
“...what’s so wrong about being a lesbian?”
Both Sarah and Kenzi looked up to see Lucy Wylde pushing Magdalena Lockheart towards them. Lucy smiled brightly at the two CoolKids, which was a little out-of-character considering how much she and Sarah clashed in the past, but perhaps all was forgiven now. Lucy stopped the wheelchair right in front of Kenzi, allowing Maggie’s corpse to sit there with her head tilted back just enough that those cold eyes were staring right up at Kenzi’s through the lenses of those Gucci Pineapple frames.
Kenzi could feel the cold beads of sweat dripping from her forehead. Lucy leaned over Maggie’s shoulders and planted a kiss on her cheek.
“Go get ‘em, Maggie. You’ve got this. You can beat those Cool Kids!”
Lucy smirked up at Kenzi and Sarah, and was even so bold as to give them a wink, too. Maggie’s head fell forward giving Lucy the impression that she was nodding yes to her. Meanwhile Kenzi was too freaked out by the body of her captain to literally say anything. Lucy disappeared back into the audience and Maggie stayed with her back facing that same crowd.
“Alright now before we get started,” Chad spoke into his beer. “Is there anyone else who would like to join this shitfest?”
“YOU PROMISED ME A FUCKING CORPSE!”
Chaos looked down at the microphone that he’d been trying to drink out of. He thought perhaps this was the one moment of his life where he might have actually drank too much.
Necron stomped up towards the line and shoved Maggie out of the way. He grabbed Kenzi by the throat and hoisted her up into the air.
“YOU PROMISED ME A GODDAMN DEAD BODY AND I’M GROWING HUNGRIER BY THE SECOND!!! WHERE IS IT?!?!”
Kenzi flailed as she tried to fight off Necron. Sarah tried to attack Necron, too, but she became the victim of having her own wife chokeslammed into her by the Grim Harvester himself. Meanwhile, the rest of the crowd panicked and in less than a minutes time, they had fled. Lucy grabbed Maggie by the wheelchair and carted her out of danger just as Necron started on his corpselessness-enduced-rampage.
Chad Anthony had just figured out that his microphone wasn’t even on. So he flicked the switch on the bottom of his beer bottle and began to address the crowd again.
“Hey you fuckers, it’s time to get this ugly sweater shit started-”
In the background, people are heard screaming as they flee the violence going on all around them. An appropriate, yet upbeat Coheed song starts playing in the background as the credits begin to roll. Seemingly unaffected by the carnage, Lucy whistles as she gently pushes Maggie Lockheart through the front door of Mixxxies and continues to push her down the street during this credits scene.
“So what do ya say, Maggie? Should we get back together, or…?”
“...”
“It’s okay. Take some time and think it over.”
“...”
“Maggie, are you cold? My goodness, your nipples are hard.”
“...”
“Haha… I see. So you’re gonna play hard to get, is that it?”
“...”
“Fine. Be that way. You’re coming over to the condo tonight baby. Let’s have a little… X-mas party of our own… shall we?”
“...”
“Mmmm baby. We’re gonna party like it’s Outlast 2017, because you’re always my number one pick.”
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...and as always...
The moral of the story is: If you promise Necron a dead body, you had better deliver on that promise.
The end.
Marvel like Post-Credit Scene involving a Sneak Preview of Weekend at Mixxxie's 2 where Lucy Wylde uses Eden Morgan's Voodoo Magic to raise Maggie Lockheart from the dead so that they can hunt down her hidden chest of Global Dollars stashed away in a tropical location.
...and as always...
The moral of the story is: If you promise Necron a dead body, you had better deliver on that promise.
The end.
Marvel like Post-Credit Scene involving a Sneak Preview of Weekend at Mixxxie's 2 where Lucy Wylde uses Eden Morgan's Voodoo Magic to raise Maggie Lockheart from the dead so that they can hunt down her hidden chest of Global Dollars stashed away in a tropical location.
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