Sentinel 9/8/08 RESULTS

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Hello and welcome all to Global Impact Wrestling Sentinel! I’m Nicholas Vinegar here with my broadcast partner Daniel Hanson. We’re now two weeks passed from In Your Hands and if you thought last weeks show was big then tonight is going to blow your mind. We have the first defence of the Man Championship as Brandon McSkinny goes up against both The Diamond Princess Gabrielle and Chinatsu Chen.

Hanson: I can’t wait to see those girls kick that little freaks ass…

Vinegar: Well don’t count him out just yet. As well as that we’re going to see Chris Austin go head to head with The Immortal Donovan Hastings, plus the debuts of two new GIW superstars, Quaytrell Jackson and Alex Kiseragi as well as the solo debut of half of War and Peace, Marek Daisuke in a triple threat table match.

Hanson: Quite a baptism of fire for them.

Vinegar: You’re not wrong there. Then our main event, eight men, one ring, it’s the fatal four way tag match that will see Andy Savana teamed up with the Hardcore Champion, RBI Randy Boolzian. It will see Diamond Jack Severino side by side with Hardcore Dylan James. We’re gonna have Lord Deathman teamed up with The Blessed One Travis Roberts and finally, the ex-Global Champ Brandon Brown teamed together with the current Champion Komosube.

Hanson: I don’t why they’re gonna bother when Travis Roberts could beat everyone in that ring single handed.

Vinegar: Of course he could, but you’ve got to wonder just how well the General of Destruction will work with The Blessed One, first after he screwed him over at In Your Hands and then the cheap win he picked up on last week's show.

Hanson: The Blessed One won that match fair and square. Lord Deathman needs to suck it up and get on with it.

Vinegar: It doesn’t sound like The General I know. First tonight we’ll see….

"Super Rad" cuts the commentary off, blaring out around the arena as Captain Saviour appears at the top of the ramp.

Dennis: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 223 from the planet of Hjjyk! Captain Saaaaviouuuuuuur!

Saviour descends from the top of the Globaltron and lands in the centre of the ring, giving a thumbs up and a wink to the crowd. The music cuts out and is replaced by Knights of Cydonia.

Dennis: And the opponent, weighing in at 210 pounds, from Sacramento California, Levi Withaaaaaaam!

Levi makes his way to the ring, pyros accompanying him all the way, he climbs into the ring, up the turnbuckle and holds his arms up to the crowd. As he climbs down Saviour makes his way back into the ring. The pair circle each other for a moment before the bell rings.

Vinegar: And here we go with tonight's first match. They lock up in the middle of the ring. Levi wins out and wraps Saviour in a headlock.

Hanson: Saviour’s fighting back though and pulls him back to the ropes sends him running.

Vinegar: And hits him with the dropkick on the rebound!

Hanson: That looked painful.

Vinegar: No doubt. Saviour’s got Levi up again and goes to whip him off the ropes. Reversal by Levi and Saviour’s running. He dodges a clothesline and bounces off the second rope. Springboard Crossbody! Into the pin.

1!

Vinegar: Kick out from Levi.

Hanson: It’s way too early to get a pin. Is Saviour stupid?

Vinegar: I wouldn’t say that. They’re both up again. Levi runs at him.

Hanson: But Saviour counters with the arm drag. He’s got him in that shoulder lock.

Vinegar: Levi springs up to his feet though. Great athleticism. He counters with an arm drag of his own, following up with a leg drop on Saviour’s arm.

Hanson: He’s got Captain Underpants up again and he’s twisting that arm, yanks him to the ground with that arm wrench.

Vinegar: He seems to be targeting that arm.

Hanson: Really? Think so?

Vinegar: He’s stomping on that shoulder now. Saviour’s clearly in pain.

Hanson: Is stating the obvious gonna be your theme for the night?

Vinegar: …Anyway, Saviour retreats to the corner but Levi’s got him back on his feet. A couple of hard right hands and whips him to the other corner. He runs across, big stinger splash! It’s all Levi right now.

Hanson: Levi with the Fisherman’s Suplex, bridging pin!

1!

2!

Vinegar: But Saviour gets the shoulder up and now he’s fighting back, lefts and rights into the gut of Levi Witham. Saviour rebounds off the ropes and hits the rolling back elbow.

Hanson: Off the second rope again. Springboard moonsault.

1!

2!

Vinegar: But another kick out from Levi. Saviour goes for the Irish whip but it’s reversed. Saviour rebounds off the ropes. Hurricanrana on Levi! The hero’s on his feet again and gives the crowd his trademark wink and thumbs up.

Hanson: Levi’s up though and hit’s the clothesline on Saviour’s back. What a move?!

Vinegar: STF now from Levi.

Hanson: Ah, I can hear Saviour screaming from here, great huh?

Vinegar: Don’t enjoy it too much, Saviour reaches out and gets the rope. Levi breaks the hold. He pulls Saviour back to his feet and hit’s the elbow strikes to that arm again.

Hanson: This is some great old school wrestling, pick a body part and work it over.

Vinegar: Half-nelson and…hammerlock back suplex from Levi! Now he’s got him locked back in that armbar.

Hanson: No way Saviour’s gonna escape this one, he’s in the middle of the ring, this ones over.

Vinegar: Don’t speak too soon. Saviour pushes up to his feet. One handed handspring over Levi and the holds broken. Goes for the leg drop but Levi’s already on his feet and a vicious kick.

Hanson: Wow, that was brutal. Put a fork in him, Saviour’s done.

Vinegar: Maybe but Levi’s not. He’s got him in the corner. Tornado DDT! Levi with the cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: But Saviour just gets the shoulder up in time. Look at the frustration on the face of Levi Witham.

Hanson: Looks like he’s going to end this now, he’s back on the top rope. Moonsault!

Vinegar: But Saviour’s rolls away. Levi gets nothing but mat. The crowds cheering now, trying to get behind Saviour as he gets to his feet. He runs to the ropes, rebounds back and a low dropkick hits Levi right in the temple.

Hanson: What’s he doing now though? He should be going for the pin but he’s put him in the corner and lifted him up onto the top rope.

Vinegar: I think I know where this is going. They’re both stood on the top rope, it’s make or break time. Saviour’s got him up.

Hanson: Superhero Slam! Saviour goes for the cover!

1!

2!

3!

The bell rings as Captain Saviour gets to his feet. Levi is left flat on his back trying to get his breath back.

Dennis: Here is your winner, Captaaaaaaaaain Saviooooooouuuuuuur!!!

The referee holds Captain Saviour’s hand up. Saviour stands in the middle of the ring, soaking up the crowds cheers then suddenly cocks his head towards the entrance ramp. Without a word he runs off, leaping over the ropes and up the ramp out of sight.

Vinegar: Think he’s off to save more innocent citizens?

Hanson: Mmhmm.

[Lord Hastings]

Hanson: Time for this triple threat match featuring the debuting, Quaytrell Jackson.

Vinegar: Who is already in the ring with Roxy standing right beside him. I guess we will have an opening match interview to introduce us to Jackson.

Hanson: Nice job avoiding saying his first name, I find it hard to pronounce as well. I would hate for someone to have to recap this match and type his name often. They would probably refer to him by his last name as well.

Vinegar: You’re acknowledgement of the fourth wall is rather awkward.

Roxy: So, Quaytrell, what are you going to attempt to achieve here in GIW?

Jackson: I am hoping to achieve the fame that other fellow black men have achieved like Big B. here in GIW!

Hanson: Fame? What has Big. B really achieved here in GIW?

Vinegar: He does have a pinfall victory over the current Global Champion, just last week.

Hanson: Who hasn’t beaten a former or current Global Champ nowadays?

Vinegar: Savana.

Hanson: Next.

Roxy: So tell me, Jackson, if I can call you such, how do you plan on doing such?

Jackson: Well, I plan on winning this match right quick and then maybe me and you can-

“Teahouse” by Juno Reactor starts to play in the middle of his sentence.

Vinegar: I guess Alex doesn’t feel like hearing that right now as he makes his way down to the ring.

Hanson: Roxy exiting the ring out of fear of the potential brawl that could take place.

Vinegar: Alex is a pretty laid back guy and I doubt he would start to fight in the presence of a woman, Hanson. Alex in the ring and staring down Jackson who does not seem happy about being interrupted.

Hanson: I hope Alex puts him through a table right away so the potential for a Chinatsu promo increases. What if she is forced to leave or something in the middle of this match and I miss out on her?

Vinegar: She has a Man Champ title match later tonight, Hanson. I do not think she would willingly leave so early.

“Honor” by Atreyu starts to play as Marek and Ezekiel come from the back.

Hanson: Here come these two after their tag team loss last week against Dylan James and Aesc the Dark. I wonder why they still choose to show their faces, Nick.

Vinegar: Everyone loses now and then, Hanson. Even the world champions of the past.

Hanson: Don’t forget present, Nick. You brought it up yourself earlier.

Vinegar: Sure, well, Marek sliding into the ring as Ezekiel stays outside to look on. Hazel East is the referee for the match.

Hanson: I sometimes wonder if her beauty in the ring distracts these poor saps of wrestlers. I guess I will have to pay close attention.

Vinegar: The three men are now circling each other as the tables lie outside of the ring. All three tables can be used and the first person to put another through a table will be the victor.

Bell rings!

Hanson: A SWIFT SIDE KICK TO THE FACE OF JACKSON! HAHAHAHAH!

Vinegar: Wow, even I thought that was swift. In the sense that it came out of nowhere and Jackson is already knocked out in his first match.

Hanson: Marek with a heel kick to the stomach of Alex and follows up with a scoop slam.

Vinegar: Alex no sells because it would be unrealistic if he did as he rolls to his feet holding his back ever so slightly.

Hanson: Ah, I laugh sometimes at the thought of Alex being a star in GIW. I see nothing special in this kid. Not in any of them.

Vinegar: You only see something special when there is a mirror in front of you. Alex and Marek circling each other as they prepare to grapple up.

Hanson: I think not, because Marek reverses the grapple into a hammerlock, swiftly turned into a German suplex.

Vinegar: Marek slowly stepping back to watch Alex get back to his feet. I like the level of competition going on right now. These men are potentially the future of the company and some past history with one another could lead to better feuds in the future.

Hanson: Marek charges at Alex, who dodges by ducking and is now behind Marek. Marek turns right into a spinning heel kick! Ouch.

Vinegar: Marek rolls out of the ring, clutching his jaw, as Alex watches. I think Alex may feel good that him and Marek are almost evenly matched.

Hanson: LOOK! Jackson charging at Marek but no! Marek dodges and Jackson runs right into the ring post and seems almost dazed. A Scissor kick from Ezekiel takes Jackson straight down! Pretty snazzy looking kick he has going there.

Vinegar: I do not condone Ezekiel interfering in the match but it doesn’t seem to have really messed with it in any-OH MY GOD!

Hanson: ALEX JUST DIVED OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO MAREK!

Vinegar: His back barely missed the barricade. I guess that would explain why I freaked out so much.

Hanson: Excuses, Nick. Alex slow to recover, as Marek seems dazed from the attack.

Vinegar: Alex to his feet and holding himself up with help from the ring apron. Marek on the other hand is almost standing on his own. I suppose the lack of him being the one to take the dive helped out a bit.

Hanson: Alex charges at Marek but is met with a kick to the gut and has his head slammed back to the floor. Marek jumps onto the barricade and goes for a moonsault! ALEX MOVES!

Vinegar: Marek hit that floor hard, Hanson. I think he might be slightly injured. Alex was quick to move out of the way but now I think he may have to deal with a recovered Jackson.

Hanson: Jackson actually gets a hit in for the first time in his career by pounding away at the back of Alex and rolling him back into the ring. I think you can still tell that Jackson is dazed by the way he struggles to stand straight.

Vinegar: Jackson lifts Alex to his feet- A HURRICARANA OUT OF NOWHERE! Jackson is definitely dazed now!

Hanson: Dazed but still on his feet. Well, on a single knee at least…

Vinegar: ALEX USES THAT ONE RAISED KNEE TO CATAPULT HIS SHINING WIZARD!

Hanson: He is definitely out of it now.

Vinegar: Great move out of nowhere by the great athlete, Alex. Alex is now outside the ring slowly bending a table down and pushing it into the ring.

Hanson: He’s setting it up now, Vinegar, and I think this could be the end. Jackson does not look like he knows where he is at the moment.

Vinegar: Alex has that table set up and is now setting up Jackson for the suplex. He has him in the air and-

Hanson: SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF A RAISED JACKSON SENDS THEM BOTH CRASHING TO THE GROUND!

Vinegar: Another good sign of athleticism is the fact that Marek avoided the table by manoeuvring his way in mid air out of the way. Jackson still knocked out on the ground as Alex slowly picks himself up. Marek and him meet eyes.

Hanson: HERE THEY GO! A spinning heel kick dodged by MAREK! HE TURNED IT INTO AN ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP!

Vinegar: NO! Alex jumps off his shoulders right behind him and goes for the dragon suplex but Marek counters and flips Alex over the front of him! Marek goes for the superkick but Alex grabs hold of his foot and pushes it down!

Hanson: Alex with his own Super kick but Marek dodges as well and gets the ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP in position and HITS IT!

Vinegar: Alex rolling around in pain as Jackson is finally back up. He goes for Marek but is tripped by Qar and hits his head on the set up table.

Hanson: I could swear our tables are much more flimsy than that.

Vinegar: I would hope not or this would have been a very anticlimactic end. I think that messed the table up, though. It seems slightly bent which isn’t what Marek wants I guess because he just got another table from outside. He sets it down and is about to move the other table.

Hanson: One second, Nick. Alex just grabbed the other end of the table and now a struggle is going on between Marek and Alex for the table. I suppose they forgot there are other tables.

Vinegar: Look at Jackson; he seems to be talking trash to the two of them while they have the table in their hands.

Hanson: NOT A GOOD IDEA BECAUSE THE TWO OF THEM JUST RAN THAT TABLE ACROSS HIS BODY!

Vinegar: Jackson is passed out and Hazel is actually confused as to what she should do.

Hazel: Is it a draw?

Hanson: No, Hazel, one person has to put another through the table.

Vinegar: LOOK! Marek was turned watching you speak, Hanson and Alex connected with a superkick sending him over the top rope!

Hanson: He’s setting up the other table and placing Jackson on top of it. SPRINGBOARD OFF THE TOP ROPE INTO A LEG DROP!

Vinegar: ALEX WINS IT!

Dennis: Here is your winner.... ALEEEEEEEEEEX, THE DRRRRRRRRRRAGON KISERRRRRRRRRRRRRAGI!!!!

Hanson: He used the distraction from the referee not knowing who won to take out Marek for the short time period in order to defeat Jackson.

“Teahouse” by Juno Reactor starts to play but is interrupted by the voice of Chris Austin. Austin enters from the back and is now walking down the ramp with a microphone in hand.

Austin: Congratulations on the victory, Kiseragi. Great job in this hardcore style match. A match where there are no rules to follow and where you are allowed to do anything to win. I commend you for the hard fought victory.

Vinegar: Is Austin’s match next?

Austin: I believe you could potentially make a good Hardcore Champion. Aim for it, Alex, because you can do it. I, on the other hand, will aim for something higher. Something meant for me since I got here. Something meant for me for those solid 12 weeks I was on top. Something like the Global Title.

Hanson: Nice way to make a return to the ring.

Austin: That’s right, I’m aiming higher than the Hardcore title. You can’t, because you haven’t proven yourselves. I can though and I will. Now bring out Hastings.

[Lord Hastings]

"Faint" begins playing, as Chris Austin enters the arena, doing stuff that matches his personality. The GIW fans cheer loudly for CA's presence.

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, currently residing in Seattle, Washington and weighing 215 pounds... CHRRRRRRRRRRRRIS AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSTIN!!!

Hanson: Wait, I thought Austin was already in the ring.

Vinegar: That’s what happens when people don’t send their matches to the proof reader, despite the specific instructions to do.

Hanson: Wait, written? I thought we were on TV.

Vinegar: How about we just say the first Austin was Ricker, doing what he does best?

Hanson: Ricker was arrested...

Vinegar: We died and went to hell, Dan...

“Immortal” by Adema hits and Donovan Hastings appears on the stage, arms outstretched, eyes closed, but head pointing to the sky.

Dennis: Making his way to the ring, hailing from Hartford, Connecticut. DOOOOOOOONOVAAAAAAAN HAAAAAAASTIIIIIINGS!

Vinegar: Hastings gets into the ring and goes nose to nose with Austin, they seem to have a few choice words for one another, and Hastings lashes out with a right hand to the face of Austin, Austin reciprocates, and again from Donovan, and yet again from Austin…But Donovan mixes things up a bit now and hits a spine buster on Austin, and then takes him down with a short arm clothesline…

Hanson: Austin looking bewildered on the floor, he wasn’t expecting such a salvo from Lord Hastings, who now aims a low angled dropkick at Chris Austin’s head, and connects…

Vinegar: But as Hastings drags Austin to his feet, he’s met by a low blow, which is followed up by a modified Stunner from Austin, which leaves Hastings rolling on the floor holding his neck…and Austin drops a leg onto Hastings neck…and then he springs to the top ropes….MIA-SAULT!!! He connects, but his leg also managed to hit Owen Peterson on the way down, and our ref is now leaning against the turnbuckle trying to steady himself….

Hanson: That knocked Peterson silly, but now Austin picks Lord Hastings up by the hair…but is met by a low blow, in revenge for what happened earlier…hooks his head…DESTINY’S CALL!!! He hits it and goes for the cover…

Vinegar: Peterson is still groggy from that foot to the face from Austin, and it takes him awhile to get to his knee’s….




1……




2………




Vinegar: Austin kicks out, and Hastings is furious at the speed of the count, he thinks he had Austin's shoulders to the mat for 3 seconds….

Hanson: Oh come on! Even you can see that was a slow count….

Vinegar: It seemed slower than usual, but he’s not gonna do himself any favours arguing with Peterson like that….and Austin is up, and he grabs Hastings and whips him to the rop…

Hanson: NO! Lord Hastings counters, and it is Austin who goes to the ropes, he comes back to Lord Hastings, who bends down in anticipation of a leap frog….

Vinegar: NO! SUNSET FLIP INTO A PIN…Peterson down to his knee’s….

1…






2……







3!

Dennis: Here is your winner, via pinfall, CHRIIIIIIIS AUSTIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!

Hanson: Lord Hastings is furious, that was a quick count, it was a light speed count in comparison to when he pinned Austin earlier in the bout…

Vinegar: He’s certainly not happy, and Owen Peterson has got out of the ring before things get violent…and Austin is just shrugging his shoulders, as if to say he has no idea what Hastings is talking about….Hastings is slapping his hands in example of how quick the count was….and Austin just lets out a wry smile…

Hanson: And that’s it, Lord Hastings has snapped and he goes at Austin with a right hand and now these guys are brawling…

Vinegar: Wait a minute….look on top of the Globatron!

Hanson: CAPTAIN SAVIOUR!

Vinegar: The Superhero flies into the ring, and places himself amongst the two superstars, trying to calm things down…

Hanson: Because that’s what superheroes do….

Vinegar: Austin and Hastings look at one another…PACIFIC DESTROYER FROM AUSTIN!!!

Hanson: That sucks, Saviour was only trying to help…

Vinegar: It’s not over yet, Hastings is on the top rope…Austin picks up Saviour…hands him to Hastings…INEVITABILITY!!! Saviour has been crushed by these guys tonight…

Hanson: What kind of thanks is that for trying to do the right thing?

Vinegar: I don’t think Hastings or Austin took kindly to him interfering in their business, and as they both leave the ring, still arguing, but not physically…Saviour lays motionless in the ring after his beating…

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We’re back ladies and gentlemen and Captain Saviour made his way to the back during our short break, quite an eventful night for him so far…

Hanson: I guess it’s just all in a day’s work for a genuine superhero Nick…

Vinegar: Getting your ass handed to you?

Hanson: Every true hero suffers setbacks, it’s the natural way, it’s how they progress…

“Warriors Code” by the Dropkick Murphy’s is piped into the arena, and Chinatsu Chen appears on the stage to a generous welcome from the crowd.

Dennis: The next bout is a Triple Threat match and is for the GIW MAN CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first hailing from Kyoto Japan, She is ‘The Oriental Firecracker’…

Hanson: I had him say that!

Dennis: CHINASTUUUUU CHEEEEEN!!!!!

Hanson: She’s a vision of perfection Nick, did you see my interview with her…

Vinegar: Unfortunately I couldn’t avoid it, it’s my job to keep up to date with all the fine details of GIW…

Hanson: I think she likes me…how do I look?

As Hanson tries to smooth his hair down Chen skips down to the ringside, even more buoyant than last week. She throws peace signs out to all the fans, and as she climbs into the ring, she turns and gives a little wave in the direction of the commentary table…

Hanson: Did you see that!?!?!? She waved at me!

Vinegar: God help us all. Ladies and gentlemen I think Hanson may have a genuine crush on Chen, I apologise if any of you suffer from nightmares tonight…

“Envy” interrupts Chen’s music, and Gabrielle appears on stage, whilst nearly all of the men in the audience fall silent, the women can be heard booing loudly towards Diamond Jack's main squeeze.

Vinegar: Introducing next, hailing from Auckland, New Zealand, she is The Diamond Princess….GAAAABRIEEEEELE!!!!!

Vinegar: Since your interest in Chen, I imagine Diamond Jack can stop looking over his shoulder in case you attempt to molest his girl…

Hanson; Say what you like about my sexual exploits Nick, but don’t suggest I’m stupid, I’d never mess with Diamond Jack….that’d just be suicidal…

“Why Can’t We Be Friends” blares out across the vast expanse of the arena, and the fans rise to their feet and begin to cheer loudly as Brandon McSkinny appears on stage, he holds the Man Championship Belt in his right arm, he tries to lift it above his head but begins to stumble, until he grabs the Title with both hands and finally heaves it above his head…but the effort he put into hoisting it above his head is too much, and Skinny is unable to maintain his balance and the momentum carries him backwards and he falls flat on his ass….

Hanson: This is just embarrassing, how the hell can these guys cheer for him…

Vinegar: I’m not too sure to be honest, but since the vote for In Your hands, Skinny has become something of a Fan Favourite Phenomenon…

Dennis: Finally, introducing the Champion, hailing from Los Angeles, California….SKINNY…

Vinegar: Dennis with a reserved introduction for Skinny there…

Hanson: I was half expecting some kind of insult…

Skinny makes his way down to the ring, making sure to touch as many of the outstretched hands as possible, a grin from ear to ear, when he reaches the ring he hands his title to Obese Tony, and gets onto the apron, attempts to get into the ring, trips on the middle rope, and lands flat on his face…

Hanson: He’s a certified window licker, pure and simple…

Skinny gets to his feet and starts hopping up and down on the spot and turning to each aside of the arena waving frantically…before settling down and turning to face his opponents…

DING!

Vinegar: The match is underway, and Skinny is the first to make a move and he runs full tilt at Gabrielle with both arms outstretched, fingers waggling, aiming at her buxom DD’s…

Hanson: Looks like he’s gonna go for a titty twister…

Vinegar: Gabrielle’s face contorts into an expression of pure disgust, as Skinny gets closer, she lets out a small shriek, and side steps the Man Champion, who doesn’t slow down in time and ends up colliding with the ropes, and somehow tumbles out of the ring…

Hanson; And Chen has taken advantage of the distraction and has swept Gabrielle off her feet with a Russian leg sweep, and is now applying a sleeper hold to Gabrielle…

Vinegar: But the Diamond Princess is far too fresh for that to work, and she rises to her feet, lifting Chen off of her own, and runs her back into the turnbuckle….Skinny climbs back onto the canvas, but Gabriella just shakes her head, turns to him, and lightly pushes him with her index finger….Skinny’s arms flail, he tries to grab the ropes for balance, but misses and ends up falling back to the arena floor…

Hanson: During this my sweet little Chen has been chastising herself for going for that sleeper so early, she knows that was a mistake…she makes up for it though by catching Gabriella in a headlock takedown, she floats over and then applies a leg lock, in a beautifully tiny display of sound technical wrestling…

Vinegar: Gabrielle though, with her long reach gives us a fine example of cheating and digs her nails into Chens eyes and gauges them…

Hanson: Disqualify her ref!

Vinegar: You got it bad for Chen huh?

Hanson: No I just can’t abide by cheaters…

Vinegar: Sure, and Andy Savana is a glowing role model for all our children…Anyway Gabrielle has taken control of this match, and hits Chen with a vertical suplex, she waits for Chen to get back on her feet …SAVATE KICK! And Chen stumbles back into the ropes, Gabrielle sends Chen for a run, and as Chen returns, hits her with a HURICANRANA! And she has the legs….

1…

2…..

Hanson: NO! GOD BLESS YOU BRANDON MCSKINNY!!!

Vinegar: I never thought I’d hear you say those words…but Brandon has reappeared in the ring, and managed to break the count by tripping and falling on Gabrielle…and she’s not happy, she kicks Skinny in the gut…POWERBOMB OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!

Hanson: SHE’S GONNA KILL SKINNY!!!!

Vinegar: NO! Obese Tony catches Skinny on the outside, and prevents every bone in his body shattering on impact with the arena floor…Skinny is flustered, and leans against the guard rail taking a few breaths…

Hanson: Whilst in the ring, Chen has once again taken advantage of yet another Skinny distraction and has leapt onto Gabrielle’s shoulders from behind….REVERSE HURRICARANA! Gabrielle meets the mat face first! And Chinatsu reaches back, still holding Gabrielle's head with her legs and then grabs her legs and starts to stretch….

Vinegar: I can’t say I’ve seen that move before…

Hanson: My little Oriental Statuette is innovative as well….and flexible…

Vinegar: Excuse me whilst I move my chair a few more yards away from Daniel Hanson folks, he’s a little too overexcited by the action for comfort…meanwhile in the ring, Gabrielle uses her size advantage and manages to outstretch her legs and break Chens hold on them…she then spins around…

Hanson: Now that’s a sight I’m not adverse to, it looks like Gabrielle is eating Che…

Vinegar: We know what it looks like…Gabrielle now raises her arm…AND ANOTHER EYE GAUGE! She then raises her legs, and flips Chen onto her back, and holds her shoulders down with those long legs for the pin…

1…

2….

Hanson: NO! That perfect little Japanese Angel manages to kick out at the last moment, and both women get back to their feet, Chen goes for Gabrielle…

Vinegar: But The Diamond Princess dodges and kicks Chinatsu in the stomach…GaBuster! And Chen is down writhing in agony, and Gabrielle lifts her up, and places her position for a Suplex…I think she’s going for the 34 Double D DDT…

Hanson: NO! Chen Shifts her weight and comes back down to earth…now she flips Gabrielle into a Suplex position, she’s gonna hit her finisher...'Down'…it’s a sight to see…

Vinegar: NO! Gabrielle shifts HER weight, and now both stay standing, arms wrapped around one another’s necks….

Hanson: But Chen manages to break Gabby's hold…TWISTING NECKBREAKER…and Gabrielle is down…Chinatsu takes a couple of steps backwards…Gabrielle rises to one knee…Chen speeds at The Diamond Princess…SHINING WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!

Vinegar: But as Chen's knee collides with Gabrielle’s skull, the Caramel Skinned Sexpot manages to get her hand on Chen’s back, twist a little, and she sends Chen flying into the turnbuckle headfirst…

Hanson: Both women are down…

Vinegar: And Skinny crawls back in the ring, and he is heading arms outstretched for Gabrielle…

Hanson: No...NO…NO!!!

Vinegar: As he passes Chen, she is aware enough to grab hold of his ankle….

Hanson: Yes…YES…YES!!!!!!

Vinegar: And she trips Brandon, and starts to get to her feet, still holding his ankle…she starts to twist a little…and ….surely not….

Hanson: HE TAPPED!!! SKINNY TAPPED!!!!

Dennis: Your winner, via submission, and NEW GIW MAN…UH…WOMEN'S…WELL, SOMETHING CHAMPION….CHINATSU CHEEEEEEN!!!!

Hanson: Look at that vision of perfection; she looks shocked, and surprised at this victory….

Vinegar: And Gabrielle looks livid, she grabs Skinny….34 DOUBLE D DDT!!! She tosses him from the ring and turns to face Chinatsu…

Hanson: And she lowers her head as a sign of respect to The Diamond Princess….

Vinegar: But Gabby is shaking her head and calling for a microphone, I think she has something to say…

Gabrielle: Are you serious? Is this a damn joke? You want my respect? What the hell for? You’ve done nothing to impress me, little girl. So you made that creepy little joke submit, big deal, it hardly qualifies you to be this companies Number 1 Female Competitor.

Gabrielle: Over the past couple of months Pro Wrestling’s Envied Princess has made this division something to talk about. I’ve worked my phenomenal butt off week in week out, and what have I got to show for it? Nothing! Nada! I’m forced to share my Title shot, the shot I worked so hard to get, with some rookie I beat clean last week!

Gabrielle: And then you look to me for respect because you got lucky? You want me to validate your reign? You’re here what? Two weeks and you get a Title shot on your second match, based purely on the fact I beat you last week? You didn’t deserve to be in this match, Brandon McSkinny was a joke, and I had earned the right to take that damn Title off of him, and just like that overreacting relative of yours you got lucky…

Gabrielle: I am the individual to take that Title to new heights; no-one else has done more to make women in this company respected! So you won’t get my respect until you defend that Title against me in Toronto at EI8HT, one on one, to show the world that this division isn’t a joke…

Hanson: WTF!?!?!?

A bright flash of light explodes in the arena and almost blinds everyone, as our sight comes back to focus, both Chen and Gabriella remain in the ring, but they are gained by a third female competitor…Misery, and she is holding both a foot off the ground by their throats….

Misery: Ladies, before you bicker amongst yourselves about who gets to wear what colour dress to the Pre-EI8HT Party, don’t forget that I, Misery, The Top Bitch, has a rematch clause for that belt, and I intend to regain what was rightfully mine…

Misery: I’ll leave you both to your petty squabbling about hair and makeup, but remember, at EI8HT you’ll have to deal with the most dominant Women’s Champion to date…ladies, the Bitch…is Back!

Another bright light flashes across the arena, and Misery is gone and both Chinatsu and Gabrielle are sitting on the floor clutching their necks…

Hanson: You think it’d be OK if I went backstage and congratulated Chen…no-one else seems to want to…

Vinegar: Stay right here Daniel, the last thing GIW needs right now is a sexual harassment lawsuit...

[Lord Hastings]

Hanson: Well bitches, it's been one crazy night so far. There have been tables, inconsistencies that put an episode of Dragon Ball Z to shame, wasted time on unknown, jobber interviews that could have been spent reading basic instructions, Title changes - thank God - and superheroes getting their ass whooped. But we still have one match to go!

Vinegar: We certainly do and this may be the most star studded match up in GIW history. Eight of this company's top stars going at it in one, insane match up.

Hanson: And that number ain't a coincidence, Nick.

Dennis: The following match is a fatal four way tag team match! Introducing first, from -

Vinegar: What's this? Glenn Burke just snatched the mic from Mitchell!

Burke: You want to do eight separate entrances? Fuck this! My wife's probably cheating on me with Hanson's dad right now and I haven't got that kind of time if I want to catch the bitch!

Hanson: !!!

Burke: So everyone in this cluster fuck of a match has 30 seconds to get into the ring or I'll disqualify them!!!

Vinegar: I guess Burke must be having a rough week. This is very out of character for him...

Hanson: What'd he say about my dad?!

Vinegar: Nothing that isn't untrue, I'm sure. Nonetheless, the competitors aren't wasting anytime getting to the ring. Here comes Travis Roberts, Jack Severino, Randy Boolzian, Dylan James, Andy Savana, Komosube and Brandon Brown. Deathman is noticeably missing, though. Maybe he really did think the show was in Canada...

Hanson: You hater. Lord Deathman is just biding his time! He's gonna rock up at the last minute in awesome style!

Vinegar: Well, he's already got less than a minute, as all seven men are in the ring. And the competitors seem to be forming a circle around the ring, with Roberts in the middle...

Hanson: Those lousy bastards! They know it takes six regular men to defeat Roberts, so they're ganging up on him early!

Vinegar: 'Regular' is the last word I would use to describe any of the men in the ring right now. All the same, Roberts seems to be in trouble he -

Hanson: The lights have gone out! LORD D-MIKE!!!

Vinegar: Surely enough the lights are back on and The General Of Destruction is in the ring! And he's blasting away at Dylan James and Brandon Brown with some massive rights and lefts!! Meanwhile, that weasel Roberts is taking the opportunity to exit the ring! Komosube is barking orders at Brown to get on the apron, while Deathman is rolling Dylan James out of there. Savana has also taken up position on the apron and it seems, RBI, Deathman, Severino and the Global Champ are gonna start this match!

Hanson: But BoolZ still has that Hardcore Title belt around his waist. And Komosube is still holding the Global Title!

Vinegar: Well fatal four way matches have no disqualifications or count outs, so that's perfectly legal. And Komosube charges BoolZ, smashing him to the ground with a stiff shoulder block! Meanwhile, Deathman is pummelling the hell out of Severino in Savana's corner.

Hanson: Now Komosube is picking BoolZ up and just watching Lord Deathman. Is he in love or something?!

Vinegar: Now Komosube is laughing as if highly amused by the beating Deathman is giving the Diamond In The Rough. Now the Global Champ shouts something at Deathman, who turns around and the Champ hurls BoolZ right at the General!!! BUT THE GENERAL CATCHES THE HARDCORE CHAMP AND THROWS HIM BACK AT KOMOSUBE!!!

Hanson: But Komosube catches him too! They're playing catch with a person!!!

Vinegar: That incredible strength of both these men, tossing the 220 pound RBI around the ring like a basketball. But Komo has had enough and throws BoolZ over the ropes and out of the ring!! Now Komosube and Deathman charge, both swinging with a powerful clothesline! Both men connect and both are promptly knocked down!

Hanson: And now Severino is going for the pin on Komosube! Taking advantage and I love it!!

Vinegar: ONE! TW - KOMO WITH A POWERFUL KICK OUT!!

Hanson: And Komosube looks angry. Severino wisely tagging in Dylan James!

Vinegar: But The Harbinger Of Hardcore doesn't seem to want to get in the ring. Diamond Jack will have none of it, grabs James by the hair and pulls him into the ring!! Now Severino making a quick escape to the arena floor, while Komosube is kicking the hell out of James!

Hanson: Lord Deathman is back up too, though. But Roberts with a blind tag, Nick!

Vinegar: The General seems mighty unhappy with this, but Roberts telling him tough luck... among other things. Deathman leaving the ring and Roberts with a big boot to the back of Komo's head. The Global Champ eats the mat, as James scrambles back to his feet. But here comes BoolZ with the Hardcore Title belt in hand!! BOOM! A shot to the face turns Roberts inside out! James looks for a right hand on the Hardcore Champ, but BoolZ blocks it, drops the belt on the canvas and hits a quick kick to DJ's midsection. Now he pulls James into a pile driver and nails it right on the Title belt!!! RBI scooping up his Championship and tags in Savana. Having your team stay fresh is the best way to gain the victory.

Hanson: And what a victory it would be, Nick! These guys have a chance to beat not only the Global Champ, but also the number one contender! Anyone that can do that would have to be given a Title shot in the very near future.

Vinegar: But that's easier said than done, as Komosube tags in Brown. Brandon and Savana circling the ring and I gotta tell you folks, this is a dream match, right here! Both men lock up and Savana whips the smaller Brown to the ropes. Brandon comes racing back and Savana with a HUGE back body drop! But Brown lands on his feet and takes Savana down with a GIANT German suplex!

Hanson: But his momentum is halted, as James levels him with a spear!!

Vinegar: But Roberts out of nowhere, takes James down with a clothesline!! Roberts taking the time to wave to the fans - which they don't seem to take too kindly - before returning to his opponents. DIAMOND JACK OUT OF NOWHERE, PLANTS HIM WITH A STEEL CHAIR TO THE FACE!!!

Hanson: He can't do that to The Blessed One!

Vinegar: Normally I would disagree with these tactics, as Burke forces Severino out of the ring. But honestly folks, the man is partnered with Dylan James. You know what they say about desperate times?

Hanson: Hey, Dylan James is the most Hardcore man in GIW!

Vinegar: I thought that was BoolZ...

Hanson: Pffft, BoolZ doesn't even have 'hardcore' in his name! Besides, the only thing hardcore about that guy is the syphilis eating away at his janglies!!

Vinegar: I think he heard that...

Hanson: Uh oh.

Vinegar: Nonetheless, James, Brown and Savana back to their feet now. Savana applying a harsh headlock to James, while Brown tags in Komosube. Here comes the Global Champ, smashing a fist into DJ's defenceless skull. Savana then throws James to the canvas and looks for a clothesline on Komo! The sumo ducks and scores with an elbow into Savana's chin, as he comes back up. Andy goes spiralling into his teams' corner and BoolZ scores the tag! RBI leaps onto the top rope and goes flying into the ring with a TREMENDOUS missile dropkick!!! He scores right into Komo's face and sends the Global Champ tumbling to the mat. Meanwhile Roberts is back up and looks for a belly-to-belly suplex on BoolZ! The Hardcore Champ counters with a stiff head butt, followed up with an INCREDIBLE Tumble Weed!!

Hanson: But James has managed to get the tag! And in comes Severino, again with that chair! BOOMER!!! Right into BoolZ!!!

Vinegar: Now Severino shouting something about being the Diamond In The Rough, as he raises that chair above his head and blasts the still recovering Komo right in the face! That chair has been disfigured here, as BoolZ is now bleeding from the forehead!!

Hanson: I guess you think that makes him hardcore, right?

Vinegar: No. The fact that he's getting back up to battle Severino is what makes him hardcore!!

Hanson: But The Blessed One is up, too! He's the most hardcore of all!

Vinegar: I'm not gonna ask how you know that, as Roberts clubs BoolZ in the back of the head, sending him stumbling right into a chair shot from Severi - NO!!! BoolZ with a drop toe hold, sends Diamond Jack face first into that weapon!!!

Hanson: But what the hell is this?! Brown just slid a ladder into the ring, towards Komosube!!

Vinegar: And now the Global Champ is getting to his feet, with that ladder resting on his shoulders, his head barely squeezing between the middle rungs! Now he's spinning that ladder like a maniac and flattens The Headliner with a shot to the face!! BoolZ is able to take that time to duck the next round AND HITS A TUMBLE WEED INTO THE LADDER!!! Komosube's entire jaw may have just been shattered, as he goes flying back into his corner!! Brown makes the tag, climbs onto the ladder, with a foot on each of Komo's shoulders AND LEAPS OFF WITH A MOONSAULT ON RBI!!!!

Hanson: Holy crap!!! That was insane!!!

Vinegar: Brilliant athleticism by Brown, AND NOW HE COVERES THE RED BULL ICON!!! ONE! TWO! TH - BOOLZ WITH A DEFINITIVE KICK OUT!!

Hanson: But Severino has reached Brown, looking to break up that count!

Vinegar: That he is and he looks for a bicycle kick, as Brown climbs back up! Brandon managing to barely evade and bounces off the ropes, returning with a flying forearm!! NOW HE'S LOCKING IN THE CATTLE MUTILATION ON DIAMOND JACK!!!! THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH IN TREMENDOUS AGONY!!!

Hanson: BUT HERE COMES DJ, BREAKING THE HOLD WITH A LOW DROPKICK!!!

Vinegar: Some nice teamwork, as Burke forces James from the ring. But Roberts now has hold of Komosube's Global Title and smashes it into Brown's face!! Komosube finally dumping that ladder from his shoulders and he has blood running from his mouth, right down his chest! I hope he didn't lose any teeth!!

Hanson: And he's seen Roberts with that Title belt and doesn't like it! The Headliner would give that belt infinitely more credibility than you and your man titties, you fat racist!!

Vinegar: Komo charges out of the corner, but Roberts throws his entire bodyweight into a shot with that Global belt! He connects right in Komo's face, blood splattering over the gold!! Komosube has fallen to the mat and Roberts is grinning at the picture he's just painted! BUT THAT ARROGANCE COSTS HIM, AS BOOLZ WITH THE DISCOMBOOLZALATOR!!! AND ROBERTS IS STILL HOLDING THAT BELT, GOERS FACE FIRST INTO IT UPON IMPACT!!!! THE BLESSED ONE IS DOWN!!! AND BOOLZ WITH THE COVER!!! ONE!! TWO!!! THRE - ARGH!!!! DEATHMAN PULLING BOOLZ INTO THE AIR WITH ONE HAND AND THROWS HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE CORNER!!! BOOLZ' SKULL GOES CRASHING INTO THAT RING POST AND MUST HAVE KNOCKED HIM CLEAN OUT!!!!

Hanson: Now that's teamwork!!!

Vinegar: BUT SAVANA OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE LADDER, BLASTS IT RIGHT INTO DEATHMAN'S MASK!!!! THE GENERAL GOES TOPPLING RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!!!

Hanson: Get that deranged sociopath out of the ring, Burke!!

Vinegar: Burke doesn't have the chance, as Diamond Jack with a roundhouse kick, blasts Andy in the back of the head. Savana goes toppling to the apron. Now Severino turns back to Brown, just in time to take a top rope dropki - NO!!! Diamond Jack rolls out of the way and Brown crashes and burns!! AND NOW HE'S CALLING FOR THE RISE OF BRUTALITY!!!

Hanson: But DJ is calling for the tag!!! What the heck?!?!

Vinegar: That idiot James wants in, now that Brown has been weakened! BUT THE DISTRACTION GIVES THE FORMER TWO TIME GLOBAL CHAMP ALL THE TIME HE NEEDS FOR A SCHOOL BOY ROLL UP!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! THRE - SEVERINO KICKS OUT AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT!!!! DJ'S ARROGANCE NEARLY COST HIS TEAM THE MATCH!!!

Hanson: DJ broke the Cattle Mutilation! He deserves the pinfall!!

Vinegar: Severino whipping Brown to the ropes and smashes him with an elbow on the return! DJ again calling for the tag and Severino telling him where to go! NOW DJ GETTING INTO THE RING ANYWAY!!!

Hanson: And he and the Diamond In The Rough are getting into a shoving contest!!

Vinegar: WHICH QUICKLY DEGENERATES INTO A PUNCH UP!! THESE TWO MEN HATE EACH OTHER SO MUCH, THEY JUST CAN'T COOPERATE ANY LONGER!!! AND JAMES WITH THE X MARKS THE SPOT!!! BUT THEN BROWN SUPER KICKS THE HELL OUT OF THE HARDCORE RETARD AND COVERS SEVERINO!!! ONE! TWO! THRE -

Hanson: ROBERTS BREAKS THE COUNT!!!

Vinegar: The Blessed One barely saving the match!! Now he's climbing up, still understandably dazed from that DiscomBoolZalator, but Deathman with a blind tag!!!

Hanson: And The General has his sights set right on Brandon Brown!!

Vinegar: Roberts doesn't seem happy, but lets Deathman go on the assault all the same! The General Of Destruction grabbing Brown by the throat and tossing him into the corner of DJ and DJS. He swings with a right hand, but Brown ducks and rolls out of the corner! Now Brown with an enziguri!!! Deathman falling back against the turnbuckle AND BROWN CALLING FOR THE SUPER KI - NO!!! ROBERTS AGAIN WITH THE GLOBAL TITLE BELT, SWINGS AT BRANDON, BUT BROWN DUCKS AND ROBERTS BLASTS DEATHMAN!!!

Hanson: NO!!! NO!!! DISASTER!!!

Vinegar: Roberts doesn't seem too bothered, turns around to face Brown AND RECEIVES A SUPER KICK FOR HIS EFFORTS - NO!!!! HE CATCHES BROWN'S LEG, SPINS HIM AROUND, KICK TO THE GUT AND WHITE OUT COMING UP - ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEATHMAN JUST GRABBED ROBERTS BY THE THROAT AND HITS THE TEN MEGA-TON OVER THE ROPES, SENDING ROBERTS CRASHING TO THE FLOOR!!!!

Hanson: YOU BIG RETARD!!!! HE DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT YOU!!!

Vinegar: AND BROWN WITH ANOTHER SUPERKICK!!!! THIS TIME HE CONNECTS ON THE GENERAL OF DESTRUCTION!!!

Hanson: ARGH, FUDGE!!!

Vinegar: But Brown not going for the cover! Instead he tags in Komosube!! AND THE GLOBAL CHAMP WITH THE BANZAI-SAULT ON DEATHMAN!!! KOMOSUBE WITH THE COVER!!! ONE!!! SAVANA RUSHES TO BREAK IT, BUT BROWN INTERCEPTS HIM HALF WAY!!!! TWO!!! BOOLZ STUMBLING TOWARDS KOMOSUBE, BUT HE'S TOO DAZED TO MAKE IT IN TIME!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! KOMOSUBE AND BROWN WIN THE MATCH!!!!!

Dennis: Your winners, via pinfall... KOMOSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBE AND BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRANDON BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWN!!!!

Vinegar: Brown and Komosube will be opponents at EI8HT, but tonight, they worked damn well as a team!

Hanson: And usually we have some sort of post match war going on to end the show, but not tonight. Brown, Komo and Savana are the only ones still standing!!

Vinegar: So tonight we're gonna end this show with Brown and Komo shaking hands, before bowing in respect to each other. I wish every week could be like this, folks. And now we're out of time. Thanks for joining myself, Nicholas Vinegar, and Daniel Hanson, for another terrific night of GIW action. Until next week, take care of yourselves.

Hanson: And yo mommas!!

[Lord Hastings]

Sentinel 9/8/08 Credits

Savior vs. Witham
Alex Kiseragi

Triple Threat Table Match
Andy Savana

Austin vs. Hastings
Travis Roberts... I think

GIW Women’s Championship
Travis Roberts

Fatal Four Way Tag Match
Declan Prescott

Editor
Declan Prescott