Sentinel 6/9/08 RESULTS

[Lord Hastings]

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall Chinatsu Chen as the special guest referee!

Hanson: Hey, what about the show intro?

Vinegar: FUCK THE SHOW INTRO!

Hanson: o.O Okay then…

‘Warrior’s Code’ by Dropkick Murphys hits the p.a. and the crowd gives a roaring ovation as Chen enters the stage wearing the white strips of a ref.

Hanson: Where, good idea, Nick. To hell with the intro. Means we get to see Chinatsu that much faster! Look at her! All kinda bubbly and bouncy!

Vinegar: Well the ‘Oriental Firecracker’ has her work cut out for herself tonight trying to keep control of this next match.

Hanson: You know she doesn’t like that nickname, and neither do I. People are Asian, rugs are oriental.

Vinegar: Huh?

Dennis: And introducing first standing five foot four inches, weighting in at 120 pounds, this is Chassie Lynn Fear!

‘Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide’ by Shinedown kicks in as the lights dim. As the music kicks up a white strobe light keeps the beat. Swiftly without hesitation Chassie enters the stage, looks around, and then sprints to the ring sliding under the bottom rope not effected by the small reaction she received from all but the die hardest of hardcore fans.

Vinegar: And talk about opportunity. Chassie with a chance with the Women’s Champion tonight.

Hanson: Oh I thought you were talking about Gabrielle’s past with Raiana. Way to get my hopes up.

Dennis: And her opponent at five foot six inches, 130 pounds, she is the GIW Women’s Champion! She is Gabrielle Maddison Montgomery!

‘Envy’ by KHZ kicks in and the fans do what they can to drown out the song. Gabrielle slowly walks out from behind the curtain with the GIW Women’s Title around her caramel toned waist. Calmly she walks down the ramp and into the ring the whole time eyeing Chen.

Hanson: Oh just like my dream! Starts with that chipper little squirt Chinatsu, and the girls just keep on coming!

Vinegar: Yeah I’m sure most of our at home fans can relate with that, and frankly that makes me a little sad for the future.

Hanson: Like I care about your feelings. And speaking of feelings I wonder what Chen feels like now checking both of these fine little competitors.

Vinegar: Chen taking her task seriously, and checking both ladies for foreign objects much to the fans approval it seems.

Hanson: Fans wait a minute these little pervs better not be ogling my delicate little flower!

Vinegar: And that ends that. The ‘Diamond Princess’ clearly taking exception to having Chinatsu checking her boots. Gabby now yelling at the former champion to start the match.

Hanson: Well there’s the bell. Time for some girl on girl action!

Vinegar: It looks like a collar elbow tie up, no Gabrielle now backing out, and again yelling at the ref.

Hanson: What the hell? I think she’s saying something about being too close, but I don’t see how Chinatsu could ever be ‘too close’!

Vinegar: And listen the fans give it to the Champ!

Hanson: Figures you’d be using the wrong sense. Look at that look on Chassie’s face, I don’t think she liked the tease there.

Vinegar: Well lets try this again then. Collar and elbow tie up, no! Again Gabby backs out, and proceeds to bark instructions to Chen.

Hanson: Well I guess when you’re that hot and talented the ref should probably just stay out of the way and give the ‘Caramel Skinned Sexpot’ room to manoeuvre. Maybe she should come out and take a seat near me.

Vinegar: Chen taking it in stride of course, and she takes an exaggerated step back.

Hanson: Alright my turn. Collar and elbow lock up, NO vicious slap from ‘The Dark Rose’! Come on, I think that was a closed fist!

Vinegar: Well the ref disagrees, and the fans loved it much to Ms. Montgomery’s displeasure. Maybe this time we can actually start the match.

Hanson: Well now it’s Chassie calling for the tie up, Gabby makes sure Chinatsu is where she told her to stand, and we have a tie up!

Vinegar: Hold on just a second, Gabrielle with a hair pull and Chass is down, she hooks the leg, Chen scrambles to make a count, ONE, Chassie fighting, TWO, GABBY’S GOT THE ROPES, THREE!!!

Hanson: Wait that’s it? They aren’t even sweating yet!

Dennis; Ladies and gentlemen here is you winner I guess, GIW Womens Champion Gabrielle Maddison Montgomery!

Vinegar: I don’t think these fans liked that one bit! Gabrielle wins it with a pull of the hair, and the help from the ropes! And now it looks like she’s yelling at Chen about a slow count! What is going on?

Hanson: Fans? I don’t think Chassie liked it! She rolled out of the ring in disbelief, and wasted no time she’s got a chair!

Vinegar: Well Gabby pulls Chen in the middle, and she takes off to the back!

Hanson: Well good maybe I’ll get my Chassie on Chen action then.

Vinegar: Looks unlikely as Chassie looks at the spunky Chen, drops the chair in disbelief, and follows to the back. This one is in the books folks.

[Lord Hastings]

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from somewhere in Canada I assume, ‘The Next Canadian Legend’ John Morgan…

“Behind me lies another fallen soldier” hits the PA and John Morgan appears underneath the Globatron. He proceeds down the ramp, stops halfway and then jumps into the air. He makes the motion of throwing something downward in midair. He then lands, but looks around in a confused nature…

Vinegar: I think he was expecting some kind of explosion there…

Hanson: Pfft, who’s gonna waste money on Pyro’s for this jobsworth?

Vinegar: Fair point…

“Divine” by KoRn filters out across the arena, and the fans look up from their programmes as the huge frame of ‘The Monster’ Dredd appears on the stage. We can hear a few gasps, as at 7’2” and 385lbs this guy is quite a sight, standing in a single spotlight…

Dennis: And his opponent, from Deep Ellum, Texas….‘The Monster’ DREEEEEDD!!!!

Pyro’s shoot upwards as Dredd makes his way to the ring, as the lights slowly rise with each step…

Vinegar: John Morgan doesn’t seem happy that Dredd got pyro’s and he did not…

Hanson: Who is this John Morgan anyway? Dredd I’ve heard of, the only stuff I know about Morgan is what Dredd enlightened us with…

Vinegar: He’s just another in a long line of guys who seem to think GIW is gonna be an easy ride…

Hanson: And then he has to face a guy standing over 7 foot, a man who’s already torn him a new asshole verbally…you should never underestimate GIW…

Vinegar: For once we agree on something. Now Dredd climbs into the ring and towers over Morgan, as Owen Peterson explains the rules to both men, he then signals and the bell is rung… And this match is underway…and Dredd with a hard right hand that sends Morgan stumbling backwards….

Hanson: Morgan comes back at Dredd with right hand of his own, but the enormous Monster sidesteps, grabs ‘The Next Canadian Disappointment’ by the arm and executes a hard impact Judo takedown on Morgan…he then stands to his feet, and drives the sole of his foot into Morgan’s face…

Vinegar: Dredd is starting this match as he means to go on….brutally. He’s now raised Morgan to his feet…sends him into the ropes…catches him on the return and hits a sidewalk slam onto Morgan…

Hanson: Does this guy really think he has what it takes to be a legend?

Vinegar: Well his moniker certainly suggests so…Dredd pulls him to his feet again, whips him into the ropes…big boot, directly to the face of Morgan, who yet again falls to the canvas…and Dredd climbs to the second rope…second rope leg drop across the neck of Morgan from the 34 year old veteran…

Hanson: And he goes for the cover…

1…

2…

Hanson: No! Dredd breaks the pin himself, by pulling Morgan back onto his feet…

Vinegar: He better not end up regretting that…

Hanson: C’mon, think about it Nick…you really think he’s gonna regret it?

Vinegar: Hey I gotta at least keep up the pretence that there is some sort of element of mystery surrounding the result of this match…

Hanson: No-one is buying it, every fan in this building knows exactly how this result is gonna go down…I kinda don’t see why we are even bothering with this whole charade….we should have just got Dredd out into the arena and paraded him about as our newest star…

Vinegar: Because the guy deserved to get his hands on Morgan, he put some effort into this match this week…and I’m sure the guys higher up don’t see this as pointless, it’s a fine display of the way GIW is set to continue in the future…if someone doesn’t contribute to the company’s growth, and wastes a spot on the advertised card…I guess this is the fate that waits them…or worse…

Hanson: How could it get worse than this?

Vinegar: I heard Marlo was originally gonna have something to do with this match…just imagine if he’d bothered to show?

Hanson: True, that is a fate worse than jobbing…

Vinegar: Speaking of which, Dredd has now lifted Morgan onto his shoulders, and ‘The Monster’ just drives him down to the canvas with a ferocious power bomb…Dredd looks out to the crowd, who are gripped by the display of pure power from this new star….but also enthralled in the unwinding demise of John Morgan…

Hanson: Does this really surprise anyone…the guy all gave us fair warning that he was useless waste of space…the guy is Canadian…and proud of it!

Vinegar: I’m sure not every Canadian is as pointless as John Morgan, to say otherwise would be racist. But obviously John Morgan falls into the same category as Celine Dion and Bryan Adams…Canadians we’d have rather we’d never known of…

Hanson: Dredd now has his hands wrapped around Morgan’s throat….he lifts him up…BROKEN SPEHERE!!!

Vinegar: He drives the body of John Morgan into the mat with that choke slam, sit down power bomb combination, and now Morgan’s body lies on the canvas lifelessly…

Hanson: Have we ever seen him animated? Lifeless seems to be the status quo for John Morgan….if he tried to be entertaining he’d probably fry his poor Canadian brain…

Vinegar: Dredd now whips Morgan to the far corner, and follows up with an avalanche….he now lifts Morgan onto the top rope, and climbs to the second rope himself…he puts Morgan into the Piledriver position and falls backwards….

Hanson: CONCRETE PILEDRIVER!!! Dredd makes the cover…do we even need to go through the formalities...

1…

Vinegar: I guess so…

2…

3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, in a complete shocking set of events…just kidding…‘The MOOOOOONSTER’ DREEEEEDD!!!!!

Hanson: Can you believe how long that match actually was?

Vinegar: It was certainly long, it’s probably the lengthiest job out in GIW history…but an impressive debut from Dredd nonetheless…do you think we’ll be seeing ‘The Next Canadian Legend’ again anytime soon?

Hanson: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Lord Hastings]

The lights cut out and first beats of War and Peace’s entrance music start to play, growing louder as the lights start to come back in and fades into Atreyu. Xavier Bryan appears at the top of the ramp. A red spotlight falls behind him. Out of the ground Marek Daisuke appears, front flipping over the manager and landing knelt in front of him. The two start to make their way down the ramp.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a triple threat tag team match-up. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 329lbs and accompanied to the ring by Xavier Bryan. Marek Daisuke and Ezekial Pax, WAAAR AND PEEEEEEACE!!!

The pair wait at ringside as the music fades into Ironman. Spotlights scan the crowd for about half a minute before picking out Pax who sprints down and leaps the crowd barrier and into the ring. The pair of them pose on opposite turnbuckles before back flipping down.

Crimson Ghost starts to play. The lights cut out…

Vinegar: Have you ever stopped to realise how many GiW superstars have the lights cut out for their entrance?

Hanson: It’s because they all realise how ugly they are.

Red strobing starts and the Crimson Ghost charges down the ramp. At the top of the ramp we can see Chinatsu Chen and Michael Taylor. Chinatsu giggling at her trainers exuberance, Taylor with his hands on his hips, shaking his head slowly. They start to make their way down after him. The Crimson Ghost runs right around the ring high fiving the front row fans then stops at the announce table where he steals Vinegar’s hat and puts it on.

Vinegar: Hey…

Dennis: The opponents, accompanied to the ring by Chinatsu Chen, weighing in at 224lbs the CRIMSOOOON GHOOOST. And, making his GiW debut, the tag team partner, MICHEAL TAYLOOOR.

The pair climb into the ring, Crimson Ghost posing with Vinegar’s cowboy hat for a second with his partner before tossing it back to the announce table.

Black Sheep starts to play for a little while, then a large pyro explodes across the top of the ramp. Garth Gaffney emerges from the settling smoke.

Dennis: And the opponents, introducing first from Sydney Australia, weighing in at 257lbs, The Supernova, GARTH GAFFNEEEEEEY!!!
Garth slides into the ring and holds his hood up, before throwing it off. He fixes the members of W&P with a menacing stare as he leans back in the corner.

The lights drop out yet again…

Vinegar: See what I mean?

Organ music starts to play and is then cut into by Critical Acclaim. Mickey Dragon appears from under the stage and starts to make his way down the ramp, shaking hands with the occasional fan. He gets down to the ring, climbs up on the apron and flips over the ropes. He climbs up the turnbuckle and poses for a moment before stepping down. One by one each of the other competitors climbs back up on the apron around their corners, electing their starting man.

Vinegar: Looks like we’re finally ready to get this one going and it’s going to be Ezekiel Pax, Michael Taylor and Mickey Dragon to get us started. The three of them move towards the middle of the ring and lock it up, they’ve each got one hand on the other guys.

Hanson: The stoner kid with the knee to the gut of the new guy. Mickey Dragon hits him with the left hands though and drives him back to the corner.

Vinegar: Goes for the clothesline in the corner but Pax dodges under it and hits him with the elbows, driving him back this time.

Hanson: The new guy…what’s his name again?

Vinegar: Michael Taylor.

Hanson: Yeah, he’s recovered from that knee and got Pax from behind by the hair, turns him around and whips him off the ropes.

Vinegar: Ezekiel ducks a clothesline and bounces off the second rope. Springboard back flip elbow puts Taylor to the floor. Ezekiel springs to his feet…

Hanson: Oh, a perfectly timed dropkick from Mickey and Ezekiel goes straight back down.

Vinegar: The Supernova calling for a tag in the corner and his partner gives him it. Gaffney in now and goes straight for Pax with those mounted punches.

Hanson: Can you blame him, have you seen his face?

Vinegar: Indeed I have, that burn a reminder of the parking lot brawl at EI8HT.

Hanson: No, I mean his huge nose.

Vinegar: I don’t think he can blame that one on Ezekiel Pax partner.

Hanson: Maybe not but I’d be angry anyway.

Vinegar: The American Hellraiser is up and kicks Gaffney off him. The Supernova’s back on his feet though and the two are trading right hands one for one.

Hanson: Now he’s…what was that name again?

Vinegar: Michael Taylor.

Hanson: That’s the one. Mark Taylor’s got him back in the corner and he’s stomping Garth down.

Vinegar: Pax is up and levels him with the running back elbow. Now he’s lining him up on Gaffney in the corner. Tag to Marek. Marek goes to whip Ezekiel, Pax with the counter and a big front dropkick on the two men down in the corner.

Hanson: Not bad for a circus trick.

Vinegar: I think that was a little more than that. He doesn’t seem to bothered about Michael Taylor though, simply moving him out of the way to get to Gaffney down in the corner.

Hanson: Ha, he’s ready though and the Supernova rakes the eyes.

Vinegar: Oh what a great move. How does he come up with this stuff?

Hanson: You sounded sarcastic there.

Vinegar: Really?

Hanson: Yeah, there too.

Vinegar: Idiot. Double G bursts out of the corner and hits him with a running belly to belly suplex and down again with those punches.

Hanson: The other guy makes the tag to Crimson Ghost.

Vinegar: Michael Taylor, do you need me to write it down for you?

Hanson: Of course not, I’m not stupid.

Vinegar: …Back to the match before I say something I shouldn’t. Crimson Ghost’s up behind the Supernova. German suplex, cover!

1!

2!

Hanson: He’s gonna need to do more than that. Kick out by Gaffney.

Vinegar: He’s in control though, following up with those boxing style jabs. Gaffney goes for the clothesline, hits nothing but air though, and a counter dropkick from the Crimson Ghost puts him down hard.

Hanson: Watch Marek though, flying knee across the ring and he takes Crimson Ghost out. All three guys are out.

Vinegar: They’re all headed for their corners. All three tag in quick succession, The Daredevil, Peace and the American Hellraiser all back in the ring. Dragon going up for the Hurracanrana on Taylor. The big guy holds him though.

Hanson: Pax is on the top rope.

Vinegar: Diving leg drop as Taylor hit’s the sit down power bomb. Pin.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Broken up by Ezekiel Pax with that low dropkick to the face of Michael Taylor, then goes for the cover on Mickey Dragon himself.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kickout by The Daredevil. Ezekiel’s got him back up, looks like he’s going for the back belly suplex.

Hanson: Morris Trebor got the tag to the Crimson Ghost and he’s up on the turnbuckle.

Vinegar: Diving crossbody, he just caught both of them and he’s got them both down for the cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Double kick out from Pax and Dragon. Crimson Ghost’s up, rebound off the rope. Ducks the double clothesline attempt, back off the ropes. Goes for the double front dropkick.

Hanson: Connects with the Daredevil but stoner kid sidestepped it. He’s up behind Crimson Ghost.

Vinegar: Turns him around. He calls it Spin You Right Round and drives his face into the mat. Cover.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Pin’s broken up by Michael Taylor and Glenn Burke having to send him back to his corner. Pax has got him up and tags in Daisuke.

Hanson: Watch, Dragon’s going for the tag to Double G.

Vinegar: The Human Missile’s in and they seem to be setting the Crimson Ghost up for something. It’s the Spin Cycle! War and Peace are really taking control of this match now.

Hanson: Don’t speak too soon, The Supernova just wiped Marek out with a spear.

Vinegar: He’s going after the Crimson Ghost now. Irish whip into the corner. Crimson Ghost catches himself though and he’s up on the turnbuckle. Looks like he wants to go for the Chill Hombre.

Hanson: Great burst of speed from Gaffney, he catches him on the bounce with a releasing overhead suplex.

Vinegar: And he’s going back to Marek Daisuke, nailing him with those punches again.

Hanson: Crimson Ghost tag into Monty Texas.

Vinegar: That’s it! It’s Michael Taylor, I’m writing it down for you and I’m going to stick it to your forehead!

Hanson: Pay attention to the match Nick, please a little professionalism.

Vinegar: One day kid I’m gonna kick your ass. Taylor in and running off the ropes.

Hanson: Watch the Daredevil though, he’s on the top rope. Missile Dropkick! Takes…Michael Taylor out and Gaffney’s just realised what happened behind him.

Vinegar: Double G’s got Taylor’s legs, I think we know what’s coming. He’s got him over! Stellar Execution, that elevated sharpshooter!

Hanson: Mickey Dragon just knocked Pax off the apron. Crimson Ghost climbs in the try to break the hold but the Daredevil’s on him. Running Leg Lariat.

Vinegar: Gaffney and Taylor both screaming in the middle of the ring!

Hanson: He tapped. Michael Taylor tapped out!

Dennis: Here are your winners Garth Gaffney and Mickey Dragooon!!!

Vinegar: Did the Supernova hear the bell? He’s still wrenching back on that hold.

Hanson: He’s going to break his back!

The bell rings several more times.

Vinegar: Oh thank god, Ezekiel Pax is back in the ring and the self proclaimed King of Violence bails.

Garth Gaffney and Mickey Dragon make their way up the ramp, Dragon walking forward, Gaffney backward as he holds his arms up. Him and Pax yelling at each other the whole way.

Vinegar: I don’t know but I think the Supernova was trying to make an example of Michael Taylor. He’s still burning up from those loses to that young man in the ring.

Crimson Ghost and W&P help Taylor out of the ring and leave together.

[Lord Hastings]

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen the following is a triple threat match. Introducing first Alex ‘The Dragon’ Kiseragi!

‘Teahouse’ by Juno Reactor begins to play, and full of business Alex Kiseragi wastes no time striding to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope as the fan give him a good welcome.

Vinegar: It has been an impressive start here in the GIW for the young Dragon.

Hanson: Yeah, what’s so impressive about it? All I’ve seen is him getting punked by his papa, battle with his demons, and picking up a couple of lucky matches. If he wants to impress me get a girl like the Gabrielle!

Vinegar: Wow, just wow.

‘Fucking in the Bushes’ by Oasis cuts into the speakers, and after a moment of confusion most fans (Female at least) leap to their feet in adoration. Chris Austin steps out on the entrance ramp chewing a piece of gum. He looks around the crowd with a smirk making eye contact with a few of the prettier women, spits out his gum, and makes his way to the ring.

Dennis: And his opponent this is Chris Austin!

Hanson: Wait, what, he’s back! Happy times are a coming!

Vinegar: Why, every week I sit out here and listen to you. Why wont my resume make it out of the mail room.

Hanson: Are you kidding me? You love my antics as much as the women in this place love that ‘special sauce’, bitch!

Dennis; And their opponent Brandon Brown!

‘Kickstart My Heart’ by Motley Crue rips over the audio system and Brandon Brown enters the stage with his arms stretched out wide as the fans intensify their cheering.

Vinegar: Brandon it seems feeling a bit out of sorts as of late.

Hanson: Of course he’s out of sorts… who the hell talks like that? Anyway yeah, he’s a prime example of why you don’t mess with Prescott. Prescott since that Last Man Standing match has been aligning the stars himself to ruin Brown, and look at him! Not the Champ, his family alienated, and fresh from the psycho ward.

Vinegar: And here’s the bell, and we’re in a stand off as all three men take the time to properly size up each other.

Hanson: You mean they’re standing there with their thumbs up their bums!

Vinegar: Where do you get this stuff?

Hanson: Thumbs up bums? Where’s yo momma’s thumb?

Vinegar: Wait, Superkick! Kiseragi took his eye off Brown for a second!

Hanson: No Kiseragi ducks, Brandon misses, turns to face Kiseragi, who got levels by a spear from Austin!

Vinegar: Austin back up, and backed into the corner by a series of knife hand chops from the Dragon. Listen to those impacts!

Hanson: Alex laying them in now, and now opting to unload a series of hard kicks to the midsection!

Vinegar: Brown back up takes Kiseragi around the waist, overhead German suplex!

Hanson: Brown back up, step-up enziguri from Austin sends him to the mat! Austin up.

Vinegar: Standing side kick from Kiseragi sends him down! Alex Kiseragi pulls Brown to his feet, and is caught with an inverted Atomic Drop, and followed by a standing drop kick from Brown!

Hanson: Brown goes for the cover! ONE,

Vinegar: And Austin makes the immediate save with a, a, well he bent over grabbing Browns hair like a cuter, rolled over twisting the neck, and now has Brandon in some kind of neck vice.

Hanson: Not for long, Kiseragi to his feet, and NO!

Vinegar: Austin let go of Brown, ducked a spinning heel kick from the Dragon, and then levels him with a standing neckbreaker! Austin now proceeding to drop a series of knees to the shoulder and neck of Kiseragi!

Hanson: Brown ends that though with a double axe handle sending Austin to the mat. Brown turns, drops and elbow on Kiseragi, but to his feet just in time to catch Austin with a DDT!

Vinegar: These three men really pushing for that top spot in this match, the action is fast, and brutal, folks!

Hanson: Here we go school boy on Brown! Kiseragi’s goin’ for a cover! ONE!

Vinegar: TWO, SHINING WIZARD!, and for the second time in the match Austin makes the save!

Hanson: Save! Austin now with a cover on Brown! ONE,

Vinegar: And Brown kicks out at two, Austin pulling Brown to his feet, shoots him into the ropes,

Hanson: Flying forearm sends Austin to the mat! Brown scurries for the cover,

Vinegar: And right into a headlock takedown from Kiseragi!

Hanson: Kiseragi back up, looks at Brown getting up, looks at Austin back on his feet, and absolutely unloads with a roundhouse kick to Austin.

Vinegar: Yeah but those well educated feet aren’t going to do him much good when Brandon Brown is laying him out with a bulldog like that one right there!

Hanson: Brown now the only one standing, and looks like he’s waiting for Austin to get up!

Vinegar: Well Austin doesn’t make him wait long, scoop slam, and Austin’s back down!

Hanson: Brown going to the top!

Vinegar: Brandon looking for that big elbow,

Hanson: And finds nothing but a turnbuckle as Kiseragi kicks his legs out from under Brown!

Vinegar: Kiseragi now out to the apron, slingshot in, grabs Brown with a hurracanrana sending Brown over the top rope and crashing to the arena floor!

Hanson: Alright, that was kinda impressive.

Vinegar: Austin back to his feet sends Kiseragi over the top rope with a clothesline, and now Austin’s the only one in the ring!

Hanson: Look at this Austin’s measuring, Austin’s waiting for both men to get up, Austin’s done waiting! SPRING BOARD BODY PRESS to the outside and all three men are down!

Vinegar: Austin pulling Brown up, and rolling him into the ring. He checks Kiseragi, and then Austin slides into the ring.

Hanson: Austin now has Brown, he pulls him, hoists him up with a gorilla press, and down with a huge gutbuster!

Vinegar: Brown feeling that as he rolls on the mat. Austin with a running start and a sliding dropkick to Brown!

Hanson: Austin pulling Brown up, and then synchs in a sleeper hold!

Vinegar: Brown is the most resilient man in the GIW, he is not going to give up!

Hanson: I don’t think he’ll have to! Austin kicking his leg out from under him, and forcing Brown down with a huge head first slam!

Vinegar: Here’s the cover! ONE,

Hanson: That’s why you don’t mess with Prescott, now Brown’s never getting a Title match!

Vinegar: TWO, this is it!

Hanson: HA HA, no! Brown kicks out at the last second! Just punish him some more!

Vinegar: Austin pulling Brown back up, shoots him to the ropes, here comes that big high knee, Brown ducks! He turns as Austin lands, SUPERKICK, and Austin stumbles out of the ring!

Hanson: Top rope flying side kick from Kiseragi out of no where and Brown is down! Here’s the cover! ONE

Vinegar: Folks The Dragon came out of absolutely thin air with that, TWO

Hanson: Finally, THRE, damnit! Brown kicks out!

Vinegar: Kiseragi, fresh, back to his feet, standing moonsault on Brown. Kiseragi up, high knee drop, and then back up twists with a drop kick to Brown! Kiseragi a house of fire!

Hanson: Alex back up, small package by Brown! ONE

Vinegar: Resilient! TWO

Hanson: And Kiseragi out barely! Alex now checking with the ref, making sure that wasn’t three.

Vinegar: And that’s all Brown needed as he beats the young Dragon to his feet, and catches him off guard with an eye rake, followed with a vertical suplex. Kiseragi in the pain now.

Hanson: I hate this guy! Brown going to the top, looking for that elbow again, and hits it! Here’s the cover, ONE

Vinegar: Brown hooking the leg, TWO

Hanson: And Kiseragi kicks out!

Vinegar: Brown now checking with the ref, making sure if that wasn’t a three count.

Hanson: Yeah no luck there!

Vinegar: Brown now pulling Kiseragi up, and placing him on his shoulders! Here comes that GTS of his.

Hanson: Brown pushes Kiseragi up, and the Dragon is caught with a springboard swinging neckbreaker from Austin! Jesus these guys are just going all out!

Vinegar: Look at Brandon Brown he’s in shock! He was waiting for Kiseragi to come back down, and he didn’t.

Hanson: Yeah Brown’s used to having a stupefied look on his face though.

Vinegar: SUPERKICK! NO, Austin avoided contact!

Hanson: Kick to the gut, Austin setting him up for that ‘Austin’s Assassination’, he turns him over, up, and down!

Vinegar: My god what impact! Here’s the cover! ONE

Hanson: Yeah, where’s his resiliency now? TWO

Vinegar: And Kiseragi this time with the save!

Hanson: Doesn’t that rookie know to leave well enough alone? Austin back up as Kiseragi still clearly feeling the effects of that neckbreaker.

Vinegar: I think the better question would be how did Kiseragi manage to break the pin attempt.

Hanson: Well it doesn’t matter Austin pointing up to the ceiling. I think he’s signally for ‘This One’s for Sean’!

Vinegar: Well Kiseragi pulling himself up now, Austin runs, Kiseragi hits the mat, Austin with the step over, off the ropes, Alex back up, side kick to the midsection, KIS KICK!

Hanson: WHAT!

Vinegar: Kiseragi covers, and hooks everything that can be hooked! ONE!

Hanson: Come on Mr. Resilient get up! TWO!!

Vinegar: Brown starting to stir, he sees what’s going on, here’s the lunge, THREE!!!

Hanson: THAT’S IT, IT’S OVER!

Dennis; Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner Alex ‘The Dragon’ Kiseraaagggggggiiiiiiiii!

Vinegar: Daniel just listen to these fans. Listen to that ovation!!

Hanson: Ovation, screw the fans! I had a bunch of really good lines to use if those three would have just taken a break.

Vinegar: Taken a break? Not likely, not in the GIW, and not building for Battlegrounds! Folks that was only half of what you could see at the pay-per-view. Only half of what you can see only in the GIW!

[Lord Hastings]

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a…

The crowd can see Dennis frowning at his notes, unsure of what he’s reading. He mouths ‘Seriously?’ to the announce table, Vinegar nodding back at him. The announcer shrugs and carries on.

Dennis: And is a Bring Your Own Kitchen Sink match!

‘Diamond in the Rough’ starts to play and Jack Severino walks out to the top of the ramp, a kitchen sink held in each hand.

Dennis: Introducing first, from Christchurch New Zealand! Weighing in at 280lbs, DIAMOND JACK SEVERINO!!!

Diamond Jack makes his way down the ramp, holding the pair of sinks above his head proudly.

Hanson: What the hell is a Bring Your Own Kitchen Sink match anyway? And on that note, who came up with it? Probably that nut job Boolzian.

Vinegar: I couldn’t really say partner, but you’re probably right about Randy Boolzian. This seems like the kind of match he’d feel right at home in. Whether he knew who he’d be facing when he asked for it though is another question. Big Jack Severino looks prepared.

‘Wonder What’s Next’ starts to play just as Jack Severino has finished climbing into the ring, still brandishing the sinks high, occasionally banging them together.

Dennis: And the opponent! From Oceanside California! Weighing in at 220lbs, he is your GIW Hardcore Champion! The Red Bull Icon! RANDY BOOLZIAAAAN!!!

RBI walks out, a trademark can of Red Bull in one hand, the other pushing a shopping trolley filled to the brink with an assortment of kitchen sinks.

Vinegar: Well, maybe I spoke too soon because The Red Bull Icon seems to definitely be ready for this one.

Randy starts to walk down to the ring, downing the can of drink in his hand on the way. He finishes at as he gets to the edge of the ring. After checking it’s empty he shrugs and gives it to a woman in the front row who almost feints with excitement. One by one he throws three sinks over the top rope into the ring before climbing up the steps and between the ropes after them. Jack drops both of his beside him and the bell rings.

Vinegar: And this one’s underway, Jack Severino taking the early advantage, his right hands pushing RBI back to the ropes. Irish whip, ducked clothesline by the Hardcore Champion but he gets caught with the back elbow on the rebound.

Hanson: Ha, that idiot walked right into that one.

Vinegar: Jack’s got him back on his feet, looks like he’s going for a suplex. He’s got him up, now look at the strength, he’s just holding him upside down.

Hanson: One handed now, I don’t know about you but I’m impressed.

Vinegar: It’s hard not to be, finally he drops to the ground and that must really have taken the wind out of RBI. Severino follows up with an elbow drop across the chest.

Hanson: And a second, and th….

Vinegar: No, Randy Boolzian just put one of those sinks across his chest and that must have hurt Diamond Jack’s arm. Boolzian back to his feet and throws the sink but gets nothing but air as Jack ducks under it, oh but the low dropkick hits him in the side of the head there.

Hanson: That was a cheap trick.

Vinegar: That was strategy partner, more so then anything you call strategy anyway. BoolZ drops to the mat and locks him in a ground headlock.

Hanson: He’s not gonna hold him with that, DJS is getting back to his feet and taking him up with him. Looks like he’s going for a belly to back suplex.

Vinegar: Great athleticism from Randy Boolzian, rolling out of the suplex attempt and landing on his feet behind him and now he’s on his back and he’s locked in that sleeper hold. Jack Severino starts trying to throw Randy off but can’t. He starts to stagger around the ring, then drops to one knee, then two, then sitting down as Glenn Burke goes to check he’s still conscious, raising his arm and letting it fall.

1!

Then again.

2!

The third time he holds it up defiantly.

Vinegar: I thought this one was over for a second there but the Blue-Eyed Devil is back up and hits those elbows to the gut. Breaking free and bouncing off the ropes. RBI’s swept up that sink off the ground and cracked it over his head on the rebound. That might be it, pin attempt.

1!

2!

Hanson: No way old man, kick out with authority by DJS.

Vinegar: I don’t think Boolzian’s out of tricks yet though. He’s got him up and positioned him in the corner, lefts and rights and he beats him back down to the ground. He’s got another one of those sinks, looks like he’s giving himself a run up.

Hanson: He’s not going to do what I think he is, is he?

Vinegar: I think he is, he’s run up, tossed that sink in the air. TUMBLEWEED! Through the sink. What an impact!

Hanson: He doesn’t look too worried, he should be following up, not standing flexing his muscles. That’s why this guy’s not going anywhere in this business.

Vinegar: Not going anywhere? That’s the Hardcore Champion, undefeated here in Global Impact Wrestling.

Hanson: Well maybe he should be paying attention on this one as Severino’s rolled out of the ring.

Vinegar: I think he’s just noticed. Looks like the Diamond in the Rough is headed for RBI’s sink stash in this shopping cart at ringside. Randy’s lining him up though. I think he’s gonna fly! Suicide Dive!

Hanson: Ha, too right it was suicide. Diamond Jack just cracked him with that sink in mid air. Now that was a shot. He’s got him covered.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out by Randy Boolzian. I think that shot must have knocked some fillings loose, he looks dazed and like that, Jack Severino’s back in control.

Hanson: Damn right he is. He’s got that little punk in the palm of his hand and just threw him into the crowd barriers. Now he’s taking a moment to show us what muscles are supposed to look like, not those limp little things Boolzian was trying to show off.

Vinegar: Gorilla Press by the big 7 footer and snake eyes across the railing. He’s gone back to get another one of those sinks.

Hanson: Yeah he’s gonna finish this one right here.

Vinegar: RBI’s propped up on that railing there, looks like Diamond Jack is going for another shot with that sink. Last second dodge by the Red Bull Icon though and that sink just bounced off the barrier. Severino drops the sink and shakes his hands out with the painful vibration that just ran through them.

Hanson: He’s not going to get away that easy. He’s got him up on the ramp. He’s going to make him taste the canvas….uh…ramp, metal, whatever.

Vinegar: DJS going for that signature hammerlock DDT. It’s blocked though, counter by Randy Boolzian, Northern Lights Suplex! Bridging pin.

1!

2!

Hanson: Gets a shoulder up.

Vinegar: Both competitors back to their feet though I wouldn’t say either of them is looking steady. They’re trading right hands at the foot of the ramp. Randy wins out, Irish whip into the apron. He’s backing up the ramp.

Hanson: Oh what’s he thinking he’s going to do now?

Vinegar: I think we’re going to find out. No Fly Zone! Against the apron. High risk move from the Champion and now he’s trying to roll his opponent back in the ring. Pin attempt.

1!

Hanson: Quick kick out this time.

Vinegar: BoolZ grabs one of those sinks still laying across the mat and just a solid shot to the ribs. Another to the back as DJS rolls over.

Hanson: He’s got him up again. I think he might be going to finish this.

Vinegar: I think you’re right, this looks like the DiscomBoolZalater.

Hanson: No, Diamond Jack counters with an inverted atomic drop. Up onto his shoulders now, could be the Glass Jaw. Ye-!

Vinegar: RBI lands on his feet. Knee to the gut. DiscomBoolZalater!!! Cover!

1!

2!

Hanson: Ha, kick out by Jack Severino. So much for a finisher.

Vinegar: You can see that look on Randy Boolzian’s face, he’s wondering what he’s got to do and he’s headed towards that shopping cart.

Hanson: Doesn’t he see all the sinks in the ring?

Vinegar: I don’t know, it looks like he’s rummaging for something in particular.

Hanson: Hey look at Jack. He’s crawled over to the corner and he’s reaching out under the ring.

Vinegar: I think Boolz has what he’s looking for. Is that? I think it is. I think that’s Travis Robert’s sink! That thing’s huge!

Hanson: I think Jack’s got what he was after too.

Vinegar: That’s a bathroom sink!

Hanson: RBI’s back in the ring and waiting for Jack to get up. I think he’s got a nasty surprise coming.

Vinegar: Jack slowly getting to his feet, hauling that sink up. Jack turns and cracks the bathroom sink over BoolZ head at the same time RBI hits him with Robert’s sink.

Vinegar: Oh my God! Did you see that? He bent that sink clean in half over him!

Hanson: That’s nothing, that bathroom sink practically shattered!

Vinegar: Both men are out and the referee is starting the count.

1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9!

Vinegar: BoolZ is moving, he’s got an arm over Severino’s chest.

1!

2!

3!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here is your winner! The Red Bull Icon! Randy Boolziaaaaaaaan!!!

Vinegar: My God what a hellacious end to this match?! Both men are still down on the mat. We’re going to get some help out here. Stay with us after the break as we’ll find out who will be the final qualifier to the Battleground match!

[Lord Hastings]

We come back from the break, and the camera is no longer in the arena. Instead we are in a dockyard, the camera focuses on a sign, and we are informed we are in a dockyard in San Francisco. After a few moments, the scene opens, and there stands Marlo the Beautiful and Karma The Handsome.

Marlo is twirling his cane, and is smiling a broad grin. Karma, is draped over his shoulder staring at him lovingly, and he begins to speak…

Marlo : Do you know how good it feels? Do you know how alive it makes me feel, to not be forced into that damn squared circle. I would apologise for averting all your attention from the so called sports entertainment you have been mindlessly enjoying, if I didn’t believe I was truly doing you all a service.

Marlo: But do you know what feels better than not being involved in yet another meaningless, clusterfuck of a multi man match on another pointless GIW show?

At this point, usually the fans would be booing, but many have taken this opportunity to go and grab some refreshments, browse the merchandise stand…basically anything rather than listen to what Marlo has to say…

Marlo: It feels much better to be fucking up a GIW show! That’s right, you were all looking forward to a five man battle royal, with five GIW….stars. Well look to the sky’s shallow fans, look where two of your stars are…

The camera moves upwards and we see a crane, and hanging from it are Aaron ‘The Future’ Kizz and Levi Witham, bound in chains. Both gagged. They are hanging above a large vat of boiling oil or tar…we’re not sure which.

Marlo: I was also surprised how easily I could set up a trap like this in a major dockyard…but I’m not complaining…

Marlo reaches inside his overcoat and brings out a little remote control…

Marlo: When I flick this switch, both of those useless jobbers will go plummeting to their deaths….or at least serious disfigurement…and there is no better time than the present…

Marlo flips the switch, and the crane releases its load, and Aaron Kizz and Levi Witham begin plummeting to their dooms…but at the last minute, a vague blur sweeps across the screen and both Kizz and Witham are no longer in danger. The camera pans back to Marlo, who remains with a smile on his face, and doesn’t look surprised when Captain Saviour lands a few feet in front of him, holding both Kizz and Witham in his arms. He places them both down, and turns to Marlo…

Saviour: I have foiled your plans…

Marlo merely shakes his head and points upwards as a huge iron rafter falls from the sky, and before Saviour can react, it pins him to the ground. Suddenly close to fifty men come running from behind cargo containers, and start to bind Saviour in some chains, made of some special material that no doubt leaves Saviour powerless (it’s shiny ok?), and then hall him off into a container, and seal it’s doors shut. The note on the outdoor suggests the container is headed for Tokyo, Japan…and is expected to arrive in October.

The camera moves back to Marlo, who smiles, and looks directly into the lens.

Marlo: Enjoy the rest of the show! Ha ha ha!

The camera switches back to the arena, and the fans have begun filing back to their seats, as in the time Marlo was executing his master plan, they decided to get the remaining competitors out into the ring, and the sound of their entrance music prompted the fans to return.

Vinegar: Well that was…strange…

Hanson: Personally I felt the special effects were LAME, you’d have thought the production crew would have at least put some effort into making it convincing…

Vinegar: I don’t know what you are talking about, everything you see in GIW is completely real…

Hanson: Right, one of the guys in tonight’s match is a Superhero is able to fly, and the other a man who has travelled back from the future…well thy’re not in the match anymore, but you see my point…

Vinegar: You’re right, who am I kidding? Most of what you see in GIW is real, the ass kicking’s are real that’s for sure…

Hanson: And I shouldn’t really be blaming the production crew…who’d put much effort into a Kizz, Witham, Saviour and Marlo promo….I mean those guys don’t…

Vinegar: Fair point, but rather than wasting anymore of our precious lives on those guys, lets get to the ring, where Donovan Hastings and Dylan James have just had the odds of reaching the Battleground Match become very good. It’s 50/50 for these guys now…and Hastings is spending more time staring at Owen Peterson than his opponent…

Hanson: In every match over the last few weeks, Peterson might as well have been Lord Hastings’ opponent, it’s a travesty of justice that he’s allowed to officiate this match…or any match for that case….he assaulted a competitor last week…Our Lord is damn right to keep his eyes on that rat…

Vinegar: But as the bell rings, Dylan James, who has been focused on Hastings…not the referee is first to pounce, and he catches Hastings by surprise and quickly power slams him into the mat, and then drops an elbow to the midsection of the Lord…See if Hastings had been concentrating on his opponent…

Hanson: Peterson would have probably blasted him in the face with a chair or something. DJ has now taken the advantage and has locked on an arm bar, now this is a dangerous situation, I wouldn’t be surprised if Peterson lied and called the match now, saying Lord Hastings said I Quit….keep a camera on Lord Hasting’s lips…I want recorded evidence of this match at all times…

Vinegar: We always record the matches you moron, this is a TV show…

Hanson: If that’s so, why the hell is Peterson refereeing, the powers that be must have seen him kick Lord Hastings square in the gut last week…especially if it’s on video tape…

Vinegar: Regardless he is refereeing and so far doing a stellar job, as Hastings manages to rise to his feet, twist, and delivers a short arm clothesline to Dylan James, who wore himself out trying to force Hastings to quit early on…

Hanson: Lord Hastings has not let go of DJ’s arm though and pulls him back to his feet, for another short arm clothesline, and pulls him up again…belly to belly suplex, and DJ lands square on his back…

Vinegar: James rolls out of the ring, and grabs a chair from ringside…and rolls back in…

Hanson: Why is Peterson letting him do this..? SEE IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!

Vinegar: The rules were clear, the only way to eliminate an opponent in this match is by pinfall or submission…

Hanson: That’s when it was a Battle Royal…

Vinegar: Regardless, Dylan James swings the chair, and Hastings semi blocks the shot, but still staggers back and onto one knee, he looks at Peterson with rage in his eyes….and Peterson reiterates it is no DQ…

Hanson: DJ swings again, but Lord Hastings drops to the floor, and executes a drop toe hold, sending DJ face first into the canvas…Lord Hastings picks up the chair…and he’s smiling…

Vinegar: Why’s he turning away from James…oh god no…NO!

Hanson: BOOM!! How you like dat Peterson! Yeah DAWG! That’s how Lord D-Hastizlle ROLLS!

Vinegar: Lord Hastings has just nailed Owen Peterson in the face and knocked him unconscious…and he’s just shrugging his shoulders…

Hanson: It’s no DQ…he can’t lose for doing it…Peterson should have thought twice before taking this match…and now Lord Hastings just rolls Peterson out of the ring…and Glenn Burke is now running down to ringside to take over…as he gets into the ring he begins to berate Lord Hastings, who argues his point back…

Vinegar: And in doing so realises a split second too late as DJ leaps onto his shoulder and executes a marvellous hurricanrana directly onto the steel chair…and holds the legs for the cover…

1…

2…

Hanson: NO! Lord Hastings manages to kick out…good refereeing from Burke, he didn’t feel the need to throw in a quick count there like another unnamed official most certainly would have…

Vinegar: Now DJ gets Hastings back on his feet, and whips him to the ropes, he hoists him up onto the top rope…Superple…No…Hastings Shifts his weight back down…punches DJ in the stomach…Grabs him…

Hanson: INEVITABILITY!!!

1…

2…

3…..

Dennis: Here is your winner, and qualifier for the Battleground Match, LOOORD, DOOOONOVAAAAN HAAAASTIIIINGSSS!!!

Hanson: SEE! The moment Peterson is eliminated from the equation Lord Donovan Hastings prevails…Peterson is obviously on a mission to derail Lord Hastings…

Vinegar: The only mission he has right now, is to regain consciousness…

[Lord Hastings]

Traditional Japanese theatre music plays, and Aragato stalks out unto the ramp. In addition to his harness of kendo sticks, he is also wielding an extra kendo stick in his right hand. The people are going nuts at the sight of him after so long.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, hide your children's eyes. This one's gonna get messy! This match has no disqualifications and is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Kyoto Japan, weighing in at 210 pounds, he is Mr. DEATHMATCH, ARRAGAAAATOO!

Hanson: Look at that little bug-eyed freak, Nick. Is it just me, or did he get even creepier?

Vinegar: I'll admit that Mr. Deathmatch has always been a bit unusual, but I think that's part of why these fans love him.

Hanson: Bah! I'll tell you who I love...no homo...

'Bummer strums in even as Aragato is climbing the steel steps toward the ring, and despite MM's rocking, the fans begin booing. Soon, Travis Roberts steps out unto the ramp, arms spread out, eyes closed behind his mirrored aviators, head raised toward the Heavens. He looks just like some Gilded Saviour, some Hedonistic Messiah (who?), and the fans are enraged by this. On pure luck his hand catches an apple thrown at his head, and chuckles, hanging on to the red fruit and looking through his aviators at Aragato, who proceeds to climb the turnbuckle and hop in the ring, oblivious to the music or the strobe effect or the enemy behind him. Roberts smirks.

Dennis: And the opponent, from Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is 'The Blessed One,' 'The Headliner,' he is TRRRRAVIIIS....RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOBEEEEERRRRRRRRTSSSS!!!!

The fans reign down boos upon his form, even as he nods and winks to them. As he strolls down to the ring, he casually plucks out the razor blade from the apple and takes a bite, relishing the taste even as he stops his pilgrimage to the ring and begins chatting it up with some pretty little tail with a low cut blouse at ringside. She giggles and blushes as he smiles, and climbs into the ring, finally taking off his aviators, working on his jacket. Aragato's harness is already off, outside the ring.

Vinegar: Roberts spending a little too much time showboating, and doesn't seem particularly focused on Aragato...not the wisest of strategies, as this match falls under Aragato's advantage...

Hanson: You forget, Nick, in TWiSTeD Fight Club, every match was on par with our Hardcore Title matches. Roberts was raised among steel chairs and barbed wire!

Vinegar: Explains his social skills.

Roberts removes his leather jacket and smiles at Aragato, who merely stands there, extra kendo stick also outside the ring.

Hanson: The dumbass even forgot his weapon! What a dummy!

Vinegar: Aragato knows it's too early to rely on weapons...he's going to try and soften The Headliner up first...

Roberts dodges a spinning wheel kick, but Aragato spins and pivots, planting what is almost a superkick to the stomach of Roberts. Roberts doubles over, and Aragato spins again, going for an inverted dropkick, but Roberts sidesteps, grabs Aragato's waist, and lands a sick German suplex, causing Aragato to land face down, for a moment. Roberts chuckles, raising his hands and basking in the boos, leaning against the ropes beside Aragato, waiting for him to get up. Aragato does so, after a moment, and Roberts charges for a running clothesline to the back of the skull, but Aragato turns his head, sinks his teeth into the wrist of Roberts, and falls and spins his neck, Judo slamming the Blessed One and wrapping it into an arm bar.

Hanson: C'mon, Blessed One! Your better than this guy!

Vinegar: His screams of agony suggest otherwise, Daniel.

Nonetheless, Roberts worms out of the hold, only to eat a stiff roundhouse kick, falling and leaning against the ropes. Aragato goes for a running spinning wheel Kick, but Roberts blocks, but nonetheless, the impact sends the both of them tumbling down to the concrete, HARD.

Vinegar: They seem shaken by this, even as Aragato stands to his feet, face absolutely blank. A mystery the man is!

Hanson: He’s a retarded clown wannabe who loves a fat, angry, near naked troll? Do you really want to understand him? And by the way, who the hell is narrating this match?!

Vinegar: The Mysterious Voice?

Hanson: Awwww yeah!

Aragato walks over to Roberts, and goes for a stomp, only to get caught in a small package. But, seeing as this isn't a pin falls anywhere, they simply squirm there for 5 seconds (what?) before Aragato breaks out, and both men get to their feet. Roberts counters the elbow strike attempt of Aragato and brings him to the concrete with a hammerlock takedown, and as Aragato gets back up, takes him down again, harder, with a Russian leg sweep. Aragato gets up a third time, and is absolutely ruined with a full Nelson slam, followed by intense stomping, to the chest and neck of Aragato.

Vinegar: I'd comment on the needless brutality, but I have the feeling we haven't even scratched the surface, with either man!

Hanson: Ditto. That's why I brought a plastic sheet, Gallagher style.

Vinegar:...I HIGHLY doubt we'll need THAT...

Hanson: We? Ha ha, Nick got jokes!

Meanwhile, Travis Roberts returns again to the woman behind him, the woman from earlier in the match, and never sees the chop block. He goes down in agony, gritting his teeth even as he gets stomped out as well, harsh and brutal. Aragato reaches down, grabs Roberts by the hair and jeans waistband, and throws him over the ring, flooring several audience members, hottie included, before they scream and laugh and get out of the way, eyes wide. Roberts staggering to his feet, not knowing where he is, and gets absolutely clobbered with a wicked chair shot, eyes rolling in the back of his head before he falls on the actual seat of an audience member's discarded chair. Aragato grabs his own chair, and gets up on the railing, face a mask of rage.

Hanson: Don't do it, Roberts!

Vinegar: He's got NO idea where he is, people! This is going to be bad!

Roberts rises to his feet, and you can audibly hear something pop as Aragato catches him with that modified senton flip, Roberts smashing into the row of chairs and down unto the concrete floor, Aragato landing face down on his hands and knees, shaking his head, and the chair flying into the audience, who barely dodges it in time. Both men injured, but it is Aragato who is to his feet first, and staggering over to Roberts, he takes his palm, and drives it into the side of Roberts' head, right to the temple. No effect.

Hanson: What the hell was that? If anything, that just woke Roberts up more...

Vinegar: I...I guess he's got no steam left...maybe he injured that arm?

Aragato backs up a little bit, and as Roberts climbs to one knee, Aragato charges with a shining wizard! But no, Roberts ducks it, and Aragato himself goes flying into chairs, and lands at the base of some concrete stairs, which lead to the nosebleed seats. Roberts grabbing Aragato by that hood, and pulls him up, the long staircase, every once and a while peppering him with small throat thrusts and closed fists, just to daze Mr. Deathmatch. Finally, they are at the top of the stairs, and Aragato seems to have gotten a second wind out of nowhere. Head butt to the chest, elbow strike, chop, he's fighting Roberts, but Roberts merely kicks Aragato in the groin, doubling the smaller Japanese athlete over. Grabs Aragato, power slam! Aragato is writhing in pain, as Travis Roberts grabs a trashcan, and a trashcan lid. He places the can at the edge of the stairs, picks up Aragato, and places his feet inside, standing Aragato up. Takes the trashcan lid, and SMASH into the crown of Aragato. Does it again, SMASH!, Aragato's head is rolling. SMASH! SMASH! SMASH! SMASH! SMASH! The lid is dented, but Roberts manages to smash Aragato all the way down, into the can, before placing the lid on the top. He takes a few steps backward, winking at a fan 12 feet away booing, and runs...SLIDING DROPKICK! The can goes bounding down the stairs, really really, hard, and finally, it hits the bottom, lid popping off and Aragato lying there, looking like he's broken, not moving. The people are silent watching this, and Roberts merely laughs, slowly and gently sauntering down the steps, stopping every so often to talk with the occasional Declan/Travis supporter, chat it up with the ladies, wiping the blood trickling down his nose.

Hanson: Jesus, that was (bleep!)ing brutal! I'm not an Aragato supporter by any means, but even still you gotta feel bad for anyone taking a spill like that!

Vinegar: Daniel, I am in full agreement with you! How could anyone want this?

I do.

Vinegar: How could anyone want to put themselves through this?? Glenn, stop this thing! AND ARAGATO FIGHTS BACK!

When Travis is on the 5th to last step, he chuckles, calmly stretching and getting ready to approach Aragato. Suddenly, Mr. Deathmatch grabs the trashcan lid, and just like a certain comic book superhero, hurls the lid and KLOONs Roberts in the face, causing him to wobble, almost falling off the stairs. Aragato helps his decision, by standing to his feet, and still partially in the trashcan, flips and Backflip Kicks The Blessed One, further denting the trashcan, and causing both men to fall down the stairs. Aragato pulls his legs out the trashcan, struggling to his feet, as Travis' face is covered with blood, and he is slightly screaming out, eyes wide. He is also getting to his feet, looking over at Aragato, and it's impossible to tell Roberts' emotion at this time. It's probably not fear, and could be rage, but it's difficult to say for certain. Aragato shakily gets to his feet, and the two exchange punches and chops, neither truly gaining an advantage for a while...eventually, Aragato lands a roundhouse kick, the force of it flooring Roberts. He drags Roberts over to the barricade, but when he attempts to pick Travis up, he eats a punch to the crotch, and then a big boot to the side of the face, which drives him into the barricade, hanging over it...Roberts gets on the barricade, standing on it, and picks Aragato up...draping the arms over Mr. Deathmatch's chest, he hoists them up via front headlock, and...

Vinegar: WHITE OUT! WHITE OUT!!!! Aragato is looking like he's dead, busted open and eyes wide and staring at the overhead lights, and Roberts himself looking like that took everything he had!

Hanson: Nick, this is getting sick...

Vinegar: Daniel I don't know how you could root for something like this, with two human liv-

Hanson: No...I mean, this is...this is getting to be too much...Roberts, buddy, try and pin the guy...neither of you have anything to prove anymore...

Vinegar:...*silence*

Soon, Roberts crawls over to the announce table, and clings to it, climbing to his feet, breathing hard, he sees the kendo stick...he grabs it, and uses it like a cane to limp back to Aragato, no longer smiling, not taunting to the people, just looking eager to end this...All of a sudden, Aragato runs up the steel steps, jumps on the top rope, runs across it with amazing balance, and before Roberts' injured form can react...CURTAINS!! Both men are down again, only this time Aragato screams something unidentifiable on his back, and climbs to his feet, eyes wide now.

Vinegar: Jesus...

Hanson: That sent shivers down my spine, Nick. He's loving this! He's not even human!

Vinegar: I...I don't know what to say to that, partner...except to agree with you...this is indeed getting sick!

Aragato by now has grabbed his kendo stick back from Travis, and as Roberts gets to his knees, the end of it is jabbed into his chest over his heart, and the pain on his face is obvious, even as Aragato, instead of tapping it on Roberts' nose, he slashes it down against The Headliner's collar bone, backing away, kendo stick shaking from the impact. He steps four paces behind Roberts, corrects his hold on the Kendo Stick, and slaps the base of the bamboo sword. It stops shaking, and only then does Roberts fall face down on the concrete, blood seeping openly. Aragato glances around at the audience, and then down at Roberts, tilting his head slightly...he grabs Roberts, rolling him into the ring...he himself slides in, and pins the Blessed One's shoulders.

Burke:

One!!

Two!!!

THR-rope break!

Roberts was able to hook his leg on the ropes, and Aragato looks like he can't believe it.

Hanson: Wait, if this is no DQ, how is there rope break? If you’re caught in a submission hold, can you get DQed for not letting go on a rope break?

Vinegar: No, I think it just won't count, unless he's tapping and NOT also holding the ropes somehow...

Hanson: Strange...

Aragato pulls Roberts away from the ropes, jumps and lands a standing Houston hangover which causes blood to splash everywhere, and pins Roberts again, not hooking the legs, too tired.

Burke:

One!

Two!!!

THRE-KICKOUT!

The fans begin booing the call, and some going nuts and cheering, just the weight of the match alone. Aragato gets to his knees, and he can't believe it. He looks down, and reaches down, to grab Roberts by the throat or something... (eh?)

Vinegar: What's this?? Legs wrapped around the limb, Roberts sinks it in!!

Hanson: TWiSTeD Tourniquet, baby! Look at the pain on Aragato's face!

Roberts hanging upside down, has a giant grin on his face as he doesn't let up on the hold. Aragato there, on his knees, enduring the hold. Sometimes getting to one knee, or one foot, before he is pulled down, by the weight of Travis on his arm.

Hanson: It looks like there would be no choice but for Aragato to tap. There is no way anyone could take this pain. I don't know how he's taking it now!

Vinegar: I think your right, Hanson, I think this one's over...

Hanson and Vinegar: OHHH!

Roberts is staring right in Aragato's face, grinning wide, knowing this one is over. However, Aragato begins to stand, and Roberts' eyes get even wider, but this time in horror, as he knows what Aragato's about to let happen before anyone else does. At that second, a loud audible POP! is heard, and Aragato's arm pops out of it's socket, sticking out oddly as Roberts finally relinquishes the hold, almost unable to believe what just happened...he's so shocked, he doesn't realize what Aragato's doing until it's too late, and eats a Scourge, falling on his back and going wild at the black stuff going into his eyes and mouth, screaming and almost tapping from the sensation, especially when it mixes with his open wounds and blood!

Vinegar: Aragato walking to the turnbuckle, now...

Hanson: UGH!

Vinegar: Folks, anyone else would be crippled by the pain, but Aragato just used the turnbuckle to push his arm back in place! He's screaming for a second, but he's testing his arm...it seems to be alright! But, what's this?

Hanson: Aragato was going out of the ring and fastening that (bleep!)ing harness of kendo sticks around himself, but now Roberts is showing real strategy and rolling out of the ring himself, heading up the ramp. He is talking to Glenn Burke who is following him out, as he does so...

Vinegar: Glenn shaking his head and arguing with Roberts, but Roberts merely stopping him, grabbing a cell phone from his leather jacket he also snagged on the way out...

Hanson: Oh no, stay back you freaky little dude!

Vinegar: Aragato approaching slowly, clearly not about to give up this opportunity...

DING DING DING DING!

Vinegar: What the hell is this?!

Dennis: Folks, I...I don't know how to tell you this, but, when Aragato's arm popped from that arm bar, he was deemed unfit to continue! Folks, Roberts is declared the winner!

Hanson: HA HA HA! Yeah, I knew my boy had a plan!

Vinegar: Hell, you and I both know that's a Texas sized plate of bull(bleep!)! Folks, Aragato's been disqualified in a no disqualifications match, and Roberts laughing and looking smug! OH MY WHAT'S THIS?!

Hanson: That fat tittied retard! He isn't even cleared to near a wrestling ring!

Vinegar: KOMOSUBE just smashed Roberts into the ground with a massive clothesline to the back of the head, and is screaming at Roberts, in a knee brace!

Hanson: But Roberts shakes it off, and begins stomping that injured knee of Komosube, showing why he is our next Global Champion!

Vinegar: Hell, this is sick! But, look at this...he hasn't noticed Aragato...he turns around, and...what's this? He just...snapped his fingers?

Hanson: He obviously knows some Satannic secrets or something, because Roberts is clutching the side of his head in pain, crawling away from the two Japanese madmen, teeth gritted painfully hard!

(o.O)

Aragato helps Komosube to a standing position, but he appears to be shouting gibberish at Komosube, who retorts back with rapid-fire Japanese...eventually, Aragato chops Komosube across the chest hard, and it degenerates into a wicked chop battle, as the camera goes to Travis Roberts, looking at the scene and grinning, even through the intense pain in his head that causes the veins around his right temple to bulge unnaturally.

Fade to the GIW logo, as 'Bummer' begins to play again.

[Lord Hastings]

Sentinel 6/9/08 Credits

Fear vs. Gabrielle
Randy Boolzian

Dredd vs. Morgan
Travis Roberts

Triple Threat Tag
Alex Kiseragi

Triple Threat
Randy Boolzian

Bring Your Own Kitchen Sink
Alex Kiseragi

BG Second Chance Battle Royal
Travis Roberts

Aragato vs. Roberts
Hiroshima

Editor
Declan Prescott