Post by The Circle Television Network on Mar 30, 2019 20:59:31 GMT -5
PROLOGUE
The Lord of Trios was a defining moment for me, maybe even more than WrestleStock. Hell! It was legitimately the only other time I won at a Coalition pay-per-view event! Yeah, I didn’t do it alone, in fact I was down and out for the first match after Alan Wallace gave me a taste of what I had been giving everyone in UGWC the last few weeks; a nice stiff chair shot! Still, when the finals rolled around, it was me that did the damage and me that secured the win for my team!
This was validation…this was vindication…this was affirmation that I was doing the right thing! Turning my back on pretending to be something and someone I wasn’t was the right way to go. Though Alan Wallace had nearly broken me in half on Monday night, his words to me had rung true; ‘be yourself!’ I took his advice and now I had done something special…something that no one would take away from me! I had captained our team to victory, something the #CoolKids had not been able to do without me last year!
What did it all mean now? The Lords of Cool were now the recipients of a Cooperative Title opportunity and a World Title opportunity to be divided among the three of us. The irony of it was that we were already both of those things! We had solidified our positions in the Coalition, leaving no doubt that we were the best in all of UGWC and the championships all led to our doorsteps! The only question that remained was how those opportunities would be divided.
…pretty sure we have some ideas about that…
Ideas that will have to wait…for now...
Chill #7 was next up for me. While most of the Coalition was off licking their wounds, I was STILL putting in work and representing UGWC…in the main event…right where I belonged! Was I beaten up? HELL YEAH! My back is black and blue and every muscle in my body aches, but I’m not giving up, I’m not taking a night off! I’m walking into Chill, the one place where I have NEVER lost and I am looking to put on another 5-star match and have my hand raised in victory at the end of the night for the second time in a row in a Coalition main event!
I have no doubt that Hide Yamazaki is looking for revenge after the way our match ended on Chill #6, with my personal assistant forcing me into the match to salvage the win. Johnny has been up my ass about that for weeks, but the fact of the matter is that Ichabod signed off on that ahead of time, so he has been barking up the wrong tree with this revenge stuff! Besides, he acts like what happened that night only affected him! Because Ashley was so shitty at her job, she got all emo on me and quit! Talking about unsafe work environments and whatnot!
...okay, that was actually funny and I totes didn't mind...
However, what I DID mind was listening to Sarah whine and complain about me 'mistreating' our personal assistant!
ME?
MISTREATING HER?
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!!
She ran into the ring and nearly cost me a loss on Chill, but somehow I was the one mistreating her?
Anyway! Because of all of that, I had to apologize to her just to get my wife off of my fucking back! So, if there is revenge that needs to be taken on Monday, I think I'm the one who should be getting it, NOT YOU!
So, after Chill is in the books, I don't want to hear another word about how I screwed your man out of a victory or any other such nonsense! I was the victim at Chill #6 and if anyone at all is getting revenge on Monday, IT'S ME! I was the one that had to step into the match and do all the work because of an incompetent proxy and I was the one that had to turn around and grovel to that same incompetent because my wife thought what I was forced to do hurt her goddamn feelings! I don't like having to apologize...especially for shit that isn't my fault!
So Johnny, we are going to settle up at Chill #7 and trust me when I tell you that things are going to go very badly for you and Hide! Because of you two idiots, not only did I have to lower myself to begging for that bubble-titted moron to come back to work, but I had to tell her I was sorry for what Hide did to her! Well assholes, what comes around goes around and I can promise you this; I'm not the only one who is getting humbled in all of this!
Payback is a bitch...and fellas, you are looking at the biggest one the Coalition has ever seen! I'll see you two assholes on April's Fools Day...and trust me when I tell you, both of you idiots are going to be the sorriest two fools in the Mohegan Sun Arena!
DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES
Hollywood, California
Today was the day my wife had been looking forward to and loathing all at the same time. She’d finally be getting her driver’s license, that ultimate symbol of freedom and independence that so many teenagers craved. My baby was no longer a teen, but the pampered existence she’d led as the Princess of Lacklanland meant that driving was hardly something she needed to concern herself with. Whenever she needed to go somewhere, a driver and car was always within earshot. Sarah had even told me of times she had actually just ridden the servants like horses, beating them with riding crops.
I thought she was joking…but she actually had pictures!
Now that she was far from her ancestral home and the comfort of having servants to drive her wherever she wished…or ride them like herd animals, this would be a big and exciting change! All she needed to do was pass the driving test and then a whole new world would be opened up to her!
Sarah was usually picture perfect, long platinum locks done up in a tight high bun, adorned with jewels, and her red eyes framed in black painted wings contrasting against her alabaster skin. She was picture perfect, but she was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs as she sat next to me. Next to her, Ashley Allen sat, cross-legged in her pinstriped pantsuit, still giving me the stink eye. I ignored her and gave my wife my full attention. This was the moment of truth, but I could tell by the death grip she had on my hand that she was on the verge of running out of there and not even taking the test.
I covered her hand with my free one and gave it a reassuring pat. Even though I had things of my own to be concerned with, namely my Chill re-match with Hide, I did my best to keep the focus on her and what she needed to do. We could worry about Mr. Death Wish and Mr. Bonecrusher after she had her license in hand. I needed to do my best to calm her down before she found herself in the car with the person giving the test. If she freaked out then, I would be in no position to help her.
“Baby, you need to calm down! You’ve got this! You’ve been preparing for this for weeks with Roxy…just settle down. You’ll be fine!”
Sarah's hard stare cut into me.
"Fine? FINE?! Because of that stunt you pulled with Ashley, I was forced to do everything myself to get ready for this! Do you think that was easy for me Beloved? DO YOU?! Because Ashley was in no condition to help, I was forced to read the driver's manual...TO MYSELF!! WHO DOES THAT?!"
I could see a smirk tracing it’s way across Ashley’s pursed lips as Sarah recounted the trials and tribulations that led us to this point. I actually wanted to reach over and snatch a bald spot out of that that bitch’s head, she wasn’t hurt that badly…you could barely see the cuts and bruises from the beating Hide had laid on her. No one liked a fucking crybaby! Hide beating her into oblivion was not only the funniest thing that I had seen in a long time, but one of the most satisfying things I had experienced since she arrived to 'help' my wife. The bottom line was that Sarah didn't need anyone 'helping' her, especially some loud mouth, big titted, drunk!
"Look, you don't need anyone to do anything for you! Not Ashley or anyone else! You can do this...you just have to go out there and do what you've been training for all this time with Roxy."
Sarah looked at me, her eyes growing wide behind the thick lenses of her glasses, giving her a comical appearance. I could see a thin sheet of sweat beginning to form on her forehead as her chest heaved.
“NO! You don’t understand Beloved, driving with Roxanne was one thing, but this? THIS is another thing entirely!”
Her hands quaked as she shook her head frantically back and forth, threatening to shake loose her elaborately twisted bun.
“What if the person grading me is an ogre?! Some sort of Princess hating road Nazi on a mission to see me fail?!”
Admittedly, I found her fears to be overblown. Not that Sarah was a drama queen, but she was certainly an overly dramatic princess…at the very least. I took her by her shoulders, looking deep into her eyes.
“You’ve got this Baby! You are going to go in there and make that test your BITCH! You have trained for this harder than I’ve seen you train for anything since your return to the ring! I know you’re not going to let a little thing like some driving test stop you from getting your license, are you?”
I lowered my voice as I got close to her, allowing my eyelids to slip down while I gave my lower lip a bite in that sexy way that I knew she liked.
“I’m really looking forward to making out with you in the backseat of your car after you get that license.”
“…Ummm…yeah?”
“…oh yeah…”
“…gross…”
I ignored Ashley, choosing to focus on Sarah. I heard her gulp as she looked back at me, eyes filled with the possibilities to come. She took a deep breath to steady herself as determination took hold. She threw back her shoulders, looking at me with a newfound air of confidence.
“Beloved…how is my makeup? I want to look my best for my very first driver’s license picture! I saw Roxanne’s and she looked like a painted up whore, mines needs to be better!”
“You look great Baby.”
I answered, giving her a peck on the cheek, but Ashley was right there in that irritating way she always was as of late.
“Sar, you look fine…but like you said, you need to be picture perfect. A touch up wouldn’t hurt. I can spruce it up right here, I just need a…”
Ashley opened up her purse to find her make-up, but reached across and grabbed her arm. This was getting out of hand in my opinion.
“ENOUGH! You look fine!”
“NO! That’s not good enough! I need to look my best…nothing short of perfect!”
Sarah pushed my arm out of the way and handed the number she had been given nearly an hour ago to Ashley, then turned to me with a devilish grin.
“I’m going to go freshen up! I’m going to be the hottest looking new driver on the road today Beloved! Then we’ll see all about that little make out session of yours, yes?”
“…ack…”
She was gone an instant later and I was left there with Ashley, wondering when this day was finally going to end. I pulled out my phone and took to amusing myself…
“HEY! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!”
I ignored Ashley’s yelling and screaming as I settled in for a long day at the DMV. At least I would have a hot date to look forward to when it was finally over…
A REALLY LONG TIME LATER
Way longer than anyone should be in a restroom...
I had no idea what Sarah was doing in the bathroom, probably shooting a PROMOTIONAL VIDEO, but she was gone so long that I actually considered getting up to go check on her when I heard her number called…
“Now serving G489 at window 14!”
Ashley popped up and trotted to the kiosk, but apparently the clerk wasn’t buying whatever Ashley was selling as she glanced back at me with a panicked expression on her face. She waived frantically for me to come up there. I started to ignore her, but the thought of enduring even more nagging to be ‘nicer’ to Ashley from Sarah prompted me to leave my nice comfy seat.
“…damn it…”
As I walked up, Ashley handed me the number.
“Can you hold Sarah’s place while I go get her! They won’t hold her place in line!”
Before I could protest, Ashley was running off towards the restroom and I was still cursing under my breath as I looked back over my shoulder at the sea of humanity that was still waiting to be called.
“Are you Mrs. Lacklan?”
I turned back to the woman sitting behind the desk, answering her question as I deposited the number in front of her.
“Yes, I’m Mrs. Lacklan, but I’m not the…”
The clickity clack of long press-on nails hammering against the keys of a computer filled the tiny space over which this ogre bore dominion. She snatched up the number from the counter, without even looking up, tossing it into the bin with the rest of the numbers from the previous customers she had no doubt also ignored.
“How can we help you?”
Obviously she hadn’t heard a word I’d said.
“Yes, my wife needs to take her road test today, but she’s in the bathroom and I…”
The clickity clacking continued as the woman gave a disinterested sigh without even glancing in my direction.
“Numbers are reserved for customers! If you aren’t here for service, you’re going to have to have your wife get a number and wait her turn, we…”
The woman paused as she looked up at me and her eyes widened with recognition.
“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE KENZI GREY!”
The woman behind the counter, a girl who probably at one time had been young and vibrant before the rigors of working at the DMV had left her a shell of her former self, stared at me from the confines of her cubicle.
I was actually filled with relief, knowing that whatever fame I could attribute to myself would actually come in handy in this situation. I put on my most dazzling smile in the hopes of currying a bit more favor with the woman.
“Yes! Like I was saying, my wife is…”
“Beautiful! Yes…I know!”
She looked around, then leaned in close, her voice taking on a whispered and conspiratorial tone as she imparted a bit of secret knowledge to me.
“…the Blood Princess Bride is my favorite movie…”
I was genuinely taken aback by this, I had never EVER heard anyone say that before. ‘The Blood Princess Bride’ was the first movie I actually produced and it starred my wife. It was a passion project at best, and a terrible film venture that we produced for the sole purpose of annoying people we disliked. For a moment, I even considered the thought that she was pulling my leg, but the crazed look in her eyes told me that she had seen the film…a lot.
“Errr…thanks? Look, I am trying to…”
The woman grinned, going back to typing away on her computer as if I hadn’t said a word. I tried to get her attention, but here fingers were flying across the keys at a million miles an hour as she babbled to herself.
“Are you guys ever going to do new episodes of that Hexx show? I really really like that show! Especially when you had Angie Vaughn on there! Are you guys bringing her back for the next season?”
All I could do was attempt to get a word in edgewise as the woman continued to ramble on.
“Yeah…she’ll probably be there if we do another season. Look! I just need to hold my wif…
“That’s awesome! Hey! Did you know your license was suspended?”
She turned her computer screen towards me where she had pulled up a CTN report from a 2016 accident I’d had with a bus I had lawfully purchased, but driven with without a license. The good thing was that I hadn’t driven it very far at all…maybe just a mile or two before that parked car got in my way…
“2020! Wow! They got you good, didn’t they?”
“Yeah. But, look…I’m just here to get my…”
“Eye test and then we can get you a new picture for your license renewal!”
“…wut…”
The woman leaned in close again, that same hushed tone as before as she waved me in close.
“…yeah, just a few key strokes and 2020 becomes 2019. Easy, peasy, lemon, squeezy…”
All I could do was blink as she winked at me and pointed towards the LED chart on the wall behind her.
“Please read the words on the first and second line for me.”
HIDE IS A
DOUCHE
DOUCHE
“…wut…”
“GREAT JOB!”
She laughed as she waived for me to come close again.
“…I know you’re going to totally kick that guy’s ass again on Chill! Who does he think he is? Didn’t he see how you won the Trios all by yourself? That was so badass…cheese…”
“Cheese?”
The ensuing flash nearly blinded me as she took my picture. I stumbled back, rubbing my eyes.
“That’s gonna be a great picture there! I think you’re really going to like that one…very natural.”
“I didn’t come here to renew my…”
“You think you can get me tickets to Chill on Monday?”
All I could do was stare as she continued working away. I knew that anything else I said would just be talked over. I shrugged my shoulders, totally defeated.
“Yeah…I can do that. I just need to get my wif…”
“Here you go! All done!”
She slapped down my new driver’s license, sliding it over to me. I picked it up and stared at it, scratching my head as I wondered how any of this had just happened.
“I have you’re number in the system, I’ll just call you for those tickets, okay?”
“Yeah, but I…”
“I’m here! I’m here now!”
I turned as Sarah ran up with Ashley in tow. She actually didn’t seem to look much different than when she left. I couldn’t help the frown on my face as I wondered what had taken so long. All I could do was throw my hands up and shake my head. Sarah just spun around in response.
“Amazing, right? I’m going to kill that photo right after my driving test Beloved!”
I rolled my eyes as I turned back to the booth…
CLOSED FOR LUNCH
“Excuse me? EXCUSE ME!!”
The woman was gone, her computer was off, and only the light from the LED sign illuminated her now vacant cubicle. I looked around, but the woman was gone, in fact, many of the other cubicles were sudden going dark as the lunch hour approached.
“What happened? Ax said you were holding my place.”
“I was…but…I don’t know where she went. She was right here!”
“We have literally been here all morning! This is unacceptable!! TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!! WHO MUST WE FLOG TO CORRECT THIS?!”
I grabbed my wife by her shoulders, giving her a good firm shake. Causing a scene wasn’t going to help our cause.
“It’s fine…we will get another number and wait for them to reopen. Maybe we can get in sooner.”
Sarah’s face scrunched up into a severe frown and I could feel the disappointment radiating off her like a furnace.
“But...what about our make out session?”
“...gross...”
I ignored Ashley and held up my newly renewed and probably illegal driver’s license and Sarah’s frown slowly evaporated. It might not have been what she’d come for, but I’d do my very best to make it up to her.
As for that bitch Ashley? Maybe I’d need to check her schedule for Monday. Then we could see how gross she thought we were compared to Hide and Johnny.
EPILOGUE
I hadn’t driven a car in over three years…but now, I was once again a licensed driver and all I had to do was just be myself. Things didn’t really work out so well for my wife in that regard, but so long as I was leading a charmed life, that was all that mattered. I would be the one that brought home the bacon and I would be the one that kept our family name on the lips of the Coalition…ME!
Maybe it wasn’t always champagne and roses at first, but if I bided my time and I followed the golden rule to ‘always be myself’ things had a way of just falling into place. They fell into place for me at The Lord of Trios when I reminded everyone of who I was. When Synergy rolled around, they’d all have another reminder! All the talk about me being jealous and playing second fiddle was about to be put to rest in a very big way!
But Chill 7 was up next, and Hide and Johnny Bonecrusher would be next in line to see what a charmed life I led. I knew for a fact that those two dopes were laying around on their bunk bed, rubbing their hands together, and giggling like two school girls when this match was announced. All they could think about was Chill 6 and how poorly it had ended for them…thanks to Ashley. Well, it had ended badly for them, but it wasn’t because of Ashley, it was in spite of her! If anything, Ashley prevented things from being a heck of a lot worse for the two of them!
I think they’ll find out that wanting revenge and getting revenge is two vastly different things! One need look no further than the OFFICIAL source for Coalition rankings to see that I am not only the fastest rising star, but I am the person you don’t want to find yourself standing across the ring from right now! From #5 to #2, and even ahead of the World Champion in less than a month? Hide and Johnny Bonecrusher can draw their own conclusions about that, but if it’s not that I am going to be the most dangerous person in that ring or even in that arena on Monday night, they are lying to themselves!
I have had to endure former World Champions like Wallace and Zane telling me that I’m not good enough to be at the top of the Coalition…telling me that I’m a whinner and I’m a complainer! Well, look at who walked into The Trios with their head held high and who walked out of it the same way! You don’t see Wallace still busting his ass for the fans on Coalition television, he’s at home watching someone else be a better Vain than he ever was! You don’t see Zane here talking about who is whining and complaining, he’s at home coming up with new ways to lie about how great failure really is!
FUCK THAT!
Monday night Hide gets his chance…but not the one he thinks he’s getting! He’s not getting his chance at revenge, he’s getting his chance to live up to his moniker of ‘Death Wish!’ Stepping into the ring with me right now is a certified DEATH WISH and I’m not going to leave any doubt about that when I send Hide out of the arena on a damn stretcher! I don’t care about his reputation as a killer and I don’t care about Johnny’s accolades as a hit maker! Aint nobody killing me unless it’s on a movie set and I allow it! Aint nobody making hits off of me, I’m the one who’ll be doing all the hitting!
I’m the biggest star in the Coalition and I have been proving it match after match after MATCH! I am going to prove to everyone one more time on Chill that nothing and no one is going to stand in my way!
