Post by Lord Hastings on May 4, 2019 22:14:53 GMT -5
Heat beams off the New Jersey blacktop creating a rippling mirage in the distance as inspirational music plays in the background. A lone figure can be seen in the distance, little more than an orange shimmer in the distance.
“Few are the ones with the will to be the very best! Fewer still are those who get the opportunity to prove it!”
The figure running in the distance is nearer now. Tall and lean, mostly orange with a bit of green, their feet hit the pavement with a prodding clickety clop as they come closer and closer still.
“The NJPW Inter-Municipal Title; the symbol of excellence is now vacant and only one can claim the honor of hoisting aloft it’s magnificence!”
The figured is now nearly upon us and we can see that is not a man, but a carrot. He runs right up to the camera, his supple orange skin glistening in the afternoon heat. He stares intensely, his eyes burning with determination as he holds the audience in his intense gaze.
“Call me ‘The Orange Hero’ or simply ‘The Camden Carrot’ but on the 6th of May, you will call me New Jersey Pro Wrestling Inter-Municipal Champion, once more!”
The music builds to a crescendo as scenes of Camden Carrot battling inside the ring, fighting the good fight against some of the toughest opponents the company has to offer. BOOM! ‘Vitamin A’ lands, a perfectly executed sleeper drop! POW POW POW! The fans chant in time with each blow as Camden Carrot peels off a series of ‘Long Roots’ kicks to the chest of opponent after opponent. Finally, scene after scene of Camden Carrot submitting the opposition with ‘The Carroted Artery’ sleeper and the dazzling duo of doom; a thunderous uppercut, followed by a pin point accurate dropkick, ‘Stick and Carrot!’
Scene after scene flashes by of Camden Carrot having his hand raised after harrowing matches. The music rises in unison along with his hands, finally ending on a shot of him with the Inter-Municipal Title over the green tuft of the Carrot’s head. The scene dissolves back to his eyes, the picture of confidence and concentration.
He speaks once more…
“I wasn’t supposed to be here. I started off in life, already buried down deep in the soil of the mean streets of Camden! I fought and I scraped my way out, barely avoiding being chewed up and spit out by a cruel and callous world! I could have given in, I could have tucked tail and buried my head back in the dirt, but that’s not who I am and that’s not what NJPW needs!”
“I have been the NJPW Inter-Municipal Champion once before, and I did it with the power of all my Camden Carrot fans rooting for me just like I rooted for them when I was just a little baby carrot! It’s the circle of life and on Monday night you won’t need to have 20/20 vision to see me holding that title again, though a balanced diet that included me wouldn’t hurt!”
“Bring on Barry Harris, he probably thinks that he has a chance because his brother isn’t in this match, but he’d be wrong! I’ve braved the cold before, I've braved him, and I’ll do it again when I beat the man who’s ‘Ice Hard!’”
“Bartholomew Ramsbottom is new to NJWP, but he won’t be chewing his way through the competition with the title on the line! Sorry sir, but I’m someone you’ll find hard to keep down!”
“Dos Tequila Jnr, my arch nemesis! You cut my reign short through underhanded tactics, but Monday is where the Carrot plants you and regains the Inter-Municipal Title, you worm!”
“X-Bro 420, the Carrot respects you and is glad that you’re back from injury. Unfortunately, it’s obvious that you spent more time gaming than eating balanced meals, and that will be your downfall when you face me!”
“Last, and certainly not least, my tag team partner, Peekatyou! There is no one I respect more in this match! Without you, I’d still be in a vegetative state, but that won’t stop me from planting you on Monday night!”
The Camden Carrot held up his fists and turned, running off the way he came, heading back into the distance as the waves of heat wafting up from the blacktop made him appear to melt away.
“Few are the ones with the will to be the very best! Fewer still are those who get the opportunity to prove it!”
The figure running in the distance is nearer now. Tall and lean, mostly orange with a bit of green, their feet hit the pavement with a prodding clickety clop as they come closer and closer still.
“The NJPW Inter-Municipal Title; the symbol of excellence is now vacant and only one can claim the honor of hoisting aloft it’s magnificence!”
The figured is now nearly upon us and we can see that is not a man, but a carrot. He runs right up to the camera, his supple orange skin glistening in the afternoon heat. He stares intensely, his eyes burning with determination as he holds the audience in his intense gaze.
“Call me ‘The Orange Hero’ or simply ‘The Camden Carrot’ but on the 6th of May, you will call me New Jersey Pro Wrestling Inter-Municipal Champion, once more!”
The music builds to a crescendo as scenes of Camden Carrot battling inside the ring, fighting the good fight against some of the toughest opponents the company has to offer. BOOM! ‘Vitamin A’ lands, a perfectly executed sleeper drop! POW POW POW! The fans chant in time with each blow as Camden Carrot peels off a series of ‘Long Roots’ kicks to the chest of opponent after opponent. Finally, scene after scene of Camden Carrot submitting the opposition with ‘The Carroted Artery’ sleeper and the dazzling duo of doom; a thunderous uppercut, followed by a pin point accurate dropkick, ‘Stick and Carrot!’
Scene after scene flashes by of Camden Carrot having his hand raised after harrowing matches. The music rises in unison along with his hands, finally ending on a shot of him with the Inter-Municipal Title over the green tuft of the Carrot’s head. The scene dissolves back to his eyes, the picture of confidence and concentration.
He speaks once more…
“I wasn’t supposed to be here. I started off in life, already buried down deep in the soil of the mean streets of Camden! I fought and I scraped my way out, barely avoiding being chewed up and spit out by a cruel and callous world! I could have given in, I could have tucked tail and buried my head back in the dirt, but that’s not who I am and that’s not what NJPW needs!”
“I have been the NJPW Inter-Municipal Champion once before, and I did it with the power of all my Camden Carrot fans rooting for me just like I rooted for them when I was just a little baby carrot! It’s the circle of life and on Monday night you won’t need to have 20/20 vision to see me holding that title again, though a balanced diet that included me wouldn’t hurt!”
“Bring on Barry Harris, he probably thinks that he has a chance because his brother isn’t in this match, but he’d be wrong! I’ve braved the cold before, I've braved him, and I’ll do it again when I beat the man who’s ‘Ice Hard!’”
“Bartholomew Ramsbottom is new to NJWP, but he won’t be chewing his way through the competition with the title on the line! Sorry sir, but I’m someone you’ll find hard to keep down!”
“Dos Tequila Jnr, my arch nemesis! You cut my reign short through underhanded tactics, but Monday is where the Carrot plants you and regains the Inter-Municipal Title, you worm!”
“X-Bro 420, the Carrot respects you and is glad that you’re back from injury. Unfortunately, it’s obvious that you spent more time gaming than eating balanced meals, and that will be your downfall when you face me!”
“Last, and certainly not least, my tag team partner, Peekatyou! There is no one I respect more in this match! Without you, I’d still be in a vegetative state, but that won’t stop me from planting you on Monday night!”
The Camden Carrot held up his fists and turned, running off the way he came, heading back into the distance as the waves of heat wafting up from the blacktop made him appear to melt away.
