Post by Lord Hastings on Jul 20, 2009 19:12:29 GMT -5
The show intro finishes and the cameras straight away fall on a guy sat in the ring with a microphone.
Vinegar: Now what in the blue hell is Donovan Hastings doing? He’s not even on the card tonight.
There’s a chorus of boo’s from the fans, mixed in with a few cheers as Hastings continues to sit slouched in a black steel chair. Slowly he raises the microphone to his mouth.
Hastings: GIW fans. Today is a dark day in the history of this company.
Vinegar: It is?
Hanson: Shut up and listen.
Hastings: As you should all be aware, the referee’s in this company are both corrupt and unjust.
Vinegar: Oh God, not this crap again.
Hanson: He’s right Nick, you know he is, stop covering for them.
Hastings: Now I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried to take it in my stride and be the bigger man.
Vinegar: Bigger man my foot.
Hastings: But it has come to the point where the bias of the officials here means I can not compete fairly.
Vinegar: As if you would anyway.
Hastings: I mean, let’s take a look at just a selection of my recent matches. Back at the Battleground qualifying match at EI8HT. I had Alex Kiseragi beat, when Owen Peterson gave him a chair and let him hit me with it.
Hanson: That was a travesty.
Vinegar: He didn’t give him the chair. Hastings brought the chair in, Peterson just stopped him from cheating!
Hastings: Then there was the 6 man tag match just 1 week later when Owen Peterson straight up kicked me as I was again, about to finish Kiseragi, and allowed him to get the win.
Hanson: I remember that.
Vinegar: He was being controlled by the Voodoo doll that Hastings brought to the ring! It’s his own fault it backfired.
Hastings: Then at Battleground. When before I had merely thought it was just Owen Peterson who was corrupt, I discover the corruption goes all the way to the top, as Glenn Burke fast counts me out of the match.
Vinegar: He was out cold and he knows it.
Hastings: And even as recent as last week, I got counted out of my match before I could even get to the ring!
Hanson: I don’t know what Peterson was thinking there. That decision should be reversed.
Vinegar: He didn’t even turn up! Am I the only sane person here!?
Hastings: Therefore, it pains me to say this, but I am going on strike until the corruption in the officials of this company is weeded out. Until that time, I will remain right here, in this ring.
Vinegar: What? Does he forget we have a show tonight?
Hanson: What’s the point though? Until we get some proper referee’s there’s no point in having the matches is there.
Vinegar: Well, guess we just have to wait until he needs to pee then lock him in the bathroom or something.
As if on cue Hastings pulls a plastic bag out from under the chair, removing two bottles, a large one full of water and another the same size but almost empty except for a small amount of pale yellow liquid in the bottom.
Vinegar: Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. Something tells me that’s not apple juice.
Dennis cautiously makes his way into the ring, Hastings completely ignoring him. Owen Peterson follows and Hastings fixes him with a malicious glare but stays seated.
Dennis: Um, your opening contest is scheduled for one fall!
There and Back Again starts to play and Chris Austin walks out to the top of the ramp. Stopping to spread his arms and legs wide.
Vinegar: Did Austin dye his hair blonde?
Hanson: Yeah, so?
Vinegar: I dunno. Just seems kinda…gay.
Dennis: Introducing first, from Seattle Washington, now fighting out of Las Vegas Nevada, weighing in at 218lbs, Chris Austiiiiin!
Austin walks down the ramp, blowing kisses to random people in the crowd, a couple of which even seem to be bothered. He slides into the ring walking around Hastings sat in the middle and waits for his opponent.
Vengeance is Mine plays and Sean Cyanide walks out.
Vinegar: Isn’t he meant to be dead? I saw him shoot himself in the head.
Hanson: Well he’s back now ok.
Vinegar: How?
Hanson: Magic.
Vinegar: Ah.
Dennis: And the opponent, from Sacramento California, weighing in at 223lbs. Sean Cyanide!
Cyanide makes his way to the ring with his book. He slides in the ring and goes to lay it down in the middle, but stops when he realises Hastings is in the way. He gives Hastings the book and climbs up the turnbuckle. Hastings starts reading to himself, you can see him frown in utter bemusement and stifle a laughs a little, stifling it as Sean gets off the turnbuckle and takes the book back.
Vinegar: Well, I guess we’re going to get underway. This should be interesting, who’re you rooting for?
Hanson: I’m impartial Nick, you should be too. Have some professionalism.
Vinegar: You what? Oh I’m not even going to go there. The bells gone and these two are circling each other, or Donovan Hastings, I’m not sure.
Hanson: They’d better not try anything or Hastings will destroy them both.
Vinegar: Good impartiality. Nice to see how long that lasted. Elbow and collar lock up by the ropes and Austin pushes Cyanide back to the corner. Still locked up and Owen Peterson steps in the break them up.
Hanson: Let them wrestle you old fool!
Vinegar: I always love your constructive input. Austin steps back and Cyanide rakes the eyes. Cheap shot and he drives him back with those right hands.
Hanson: Haha, Austin just sat on Hastings lap and the Lord of Pain shoves him off onto the mat.
Vinegar: Cyanide follows up with the stomps and Austin rolls down under the bottom rope out of the ring.
Hanson: He seems to be protesting about Hastings being in the way but there’s nothing he can do about it.
Vinegar: Apparently not. He slides back in and gets jumped on, Cyanide driving him back to the corner again. Stomping him down again, Cyanide backs up as far as he can and hit’s a big running knee to Austin’s head.
Hanson: That was brutal. Sean’s got Austin back to his feet and moves him down the ropes. Irish whip and Austin just flew over Hastings legs.
Vinegar: That obstruction definatly limiting what these superstars can do. Cyanide walks around Hastings and he’s got Austin by the hair.
Hanson: Low blow by Austin, how did the referee miss that?
Vinegar: Because Hastings has got him by the shirt collar and is saying something to him. I can’t hear but I bet it’s not friendly. He’s let him go though as Austin gets back to his feet a couple of right hands and goes for the kick to the gut. Caught by Cyanide- Enziguri! Pin attempt.
1!
2!
Vinegar: Easy kick out by Cyanide. Austin’s taking a moment to give Hastings a piece of his mind but the Lord of Pain doesn’t seem interested. Cyanide is back on his feet, runs off the ropes, bulldog! He just slammed Austin’s head into Hastings crotch.
Hanson: I’m not sure who that hurt worse, Austin and Hastings are both down.
Vinegar: Cyanide drags Austin back to his feet and puts him straight back down with an STO. Then headed up to the top rope. Frog Splash ’08!- No, Austin rolls away and Cyanide hits nothing but mat.
Hanson: Hastings is finally recovering from that vicious nut shot and getting back up.
Vinegar: Austin’s sprung back to his feet. Looks like he’s calling for the Emerald City Eliminator.
Hanson: Holy crap, Hastings has got one of those bottles and he just sprayed apple juice in Austin’s face.
Vinegar: If only it was apple juice. Austin clutching at his face and Cyanide is up again. Shot of Cyanide! Huge move, and Austin’s arm caught the chair badly, that could have thrown his elbow right out.
Hanson: Pin fall.
1!
2!
3!
Hanson: It’s over.
Dennis: Here is your winner. Sean Cyaniiiiiiiide!!!
Vinegar: Solid return win for Sean Cyanide, even if he did get a little help from out protester.
Hanson: He’d have won anyway. Hastings just helped the match reach it’s inevitable conclusion.
Vinegar: Well either way he seems to be making his exit. Austin’s still trying to wipe that urine off his face. I’m not sure how well it’s going for him though. I think he’s rushing off to the shower too.
Hanson: And Hastings is getting back into his seat, rightfully so. Fight the corruption Brother!
Crimson Ghost by the Misfits cuts out Cyanide’s music and the Crimson Ghost walks down the ramp and into the ring.
Hanson: What’s that idiot want?
Vinegar: I think he’s trying to talk some sense into Donovan Hastings and get him to move.
Hanson: Yeah good luck.
Vinegar: Yeah, it doesn’t look like it’s working. Words seem to be getting heated.
Hanson: Crimson Ghost should be careful, he doesn’t want to anger him.
Vinegar: I think it’s Hastings who wants to be careful.
The Crimson Ghost throws Hastings out of the chair. The pair start brawling on the ground until Peterson steps in and splits them up. Crimson Ghost shoves past him and clotheslines Hastings over the top rope. He then takes the chair and slides out of the ring, chasing Hastings away from ringside with it.
Vinegar: Well, that was interesting, about time too. After the break, GIW Debutant Soloman goes toe-to-toe with Chassie Fear and Hardcore Dylan James.
Vinegar: Now what in the blue hell is Donovan Hastings doing? He’s not even on the card tonight.
There’s a chorus of boo’s from the fans, mixed in with a few cheers as Hastings continues to sit slouched in a black steel chair. Slowly he raises the microphone to his mouth.
Hastings: GIW fans. Today is a dark day in the history of this company.
Vinegar: It is?
Hanson: Shut up and listen.
Hastings: As you should all be aware, the referee’s in this company are both corrupt and unjust.
Vinegar: Oh God, not this crap again.
Hanson: He’s right Nick, you know he is, stop covering for them.
Hastings: Now I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried to take it in my stride and be the bigger man.
Vinegar: Bigger man my foot.
Hastings: But it has come to the point where the bias of the officials here means I can not compete fairly.
Vinegar: As if you would anyway.
Hastings: I mean, let’s take a look at just a selection of my recent matches. Back at the Battleground qualifying match at EI8HT. I had Alex Kiseragi beat, when Owen Peterson gave him a chair and let him hit me with it.
Hanson: That was a travesty.
Vinegar: He didn’t give him the chair. Hastings brought the chair in, Peterson just stopped him from cheating!
Hastings: Then there was the 6 man tag match just 1 week later when Owen Peterson straight up kicked me as I was again, about to finish Kiseragi, and allowed him to get the win.
Hanson: I remember that.
Vinegar: He was being controlled by the Voodoo doll that Hastings brought to the ring! It’s his own fault it backfired.
Hastings: Then at Battleground. When before I had merely thought it was just Owen Peterson who was corrupt, I discover the corruption goes all the way to the top, as Glenn Burke fast counts me out of the match.
Vinegar: He was out cold and he knows it.
Hastings: And even as recent as last week, I got counted out of my match before I could even get to the ring!
Hanson: I don’t know what Peterson was thinking there. That decision should be reversed.
Vinegar: He didn’t even turn up! Am I the only sane person here!?
Hastings: Therefore, it pains me to say this, but I am going on strike until the corruption in the officials of this company is weeded out. Until that time, I will remain right here, in this ring.
Vinegar: What? Does he forget we have a show tonight?
Hanson: What’s the point though? Until we get some proper referee’s there’s no point in having the matches is there.
Vinegar: Well, guess we just have to wait until he needs to pee then lock him in the bathroom or something.
As if on cue Hastings pulls a plastic bag out from under the chair, removing two bottles, a large one full of water and another the same size but almost empty except for a small amount of pale yellow liquid in the bottom.
Vinegar: Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. Something tells me that’s not apple juice.
Dennis cautiously makes his way into the ring, Hastings completely ignoring him. Owen Peterson follows and Hastings fixes him with a malicious glare but stays seated.
Dennis: Um, your opening contest is scheduled for one fall!
There and Back Again starts to play and Chris Austin walks out to the top of the ramp. Stopping to spread his arms and legs wide.
Vinegar: Did Austin dye his hair blonde?
Hanson: Yeah, so?
Vinegar: I dunno. Just seems kinda…gay.
Dennis: Introducing first, from Seattle Washington, now fighting out of Las Vegas Nevada, weighing in at 218lbs, Chris Austiiiiin!
Austin walks down the ramp, blowing kisses to random people in the crowd, a couple of which even seem to be bothered. He slides into the ring walking around Hastings sat in the middle and waits for his opponent.
Vengeance is Mine plays and Sean Cyanide walks out.
Vinegar: Isn’t he meant to be dead? I saw him shoot himself in the head.
Hanson: Well he’s back now ok.
Vinegar: How?
Hanson: Magic.
Vinegar: Ah.
Dennis: And the opponent, from Sacramento California, weighing in at 223lbs. Sean Cyanide!
Cyanide makes his way to the ring with his book. He slides in the ring and goes to lay it down in the middle, but stops when he realises Hastings is in the way. He gives Hastings the book and climbs up the turnbuckle. Hastings starts reading to himself, you can see him frown in utter bemusement and stifle a laughs a little, stifling it as Sean gets off the turnbuckle and takes the book back.
Vinegar: Well, I guess we’re going to get underway. This should be interesting, who’re you rooting for?
Hanson: I’m impartial Nick, you should be too. Have some professionalism.
Vinegar: You what? Oh I’m not even going to go there. The bells gone and these two are circling each other, or Donovan Hastings, I’m not sure.
Hanson: They’d better not try anything or Hastings will destroy them both.
Vinegar: Good impartiality. Nice to see how long that lasted. Elbow and collar lock up by the ropes and Austin pushes Cyanide back to the corner. Still locked up and Owen Peterson steps in the break them up.
Hanson: Let them wrestle you old fool!
Vinegar: I always love your constructive input. Austin steps back and Cyanide rakes the eyes. Cheap shot and he drives him back with those right hands.
Hanson: Haha, Austin just sat on Hastings lap and the Lord of Pain shoves him off onto the mat.
Vinegar: Cyanide follows up with the stomps and Austin rolls down under the bottom rope out of the ring.
Hanson: He seems to be protesting about Hastings being in the way but there’s nothing he can do about it.
Vinegar: Apparently not. He slides back in and gets jumped on, Cyanide driving him back to the corner again. Stomping him down again, Cyanide backs up as far as he can and hit’s a big running knee to Austin’s head.
Hanson: That was brutal. Sean’s got Austin back to his feet and moves him down the ropes. Irish whip and Austin just flew over Hastings legs.
Vinegar: That obstruction definatly limiting what these superstars can do. Cyanide walks around Hastings and he’s got Austin by the hair.
Hanson: Low blow by Austin, how did the referee miss that?
Vinegar: Because Hastings has got him by the shirt collar and is saying something to him. I can’t hear but I bet it’s not friendly. He’s let him go though as Austin gets back to his feet a couple of right hands and goes for the kick to the gut. Caught by Cyanide- Enziguri! Pin attempt.
1!
2!
Vinegar: Easy kick out by Cyanide. Austin’s taking a moment to give Hastings a piece of his mind but the Lord of Pain doesn’t seem interested. Cyanide is back on his feet, runs off the ropes, bulldog! He just slammed Austin’s head into Hastings crotch.
Hanson: I’m not sure who that hurt worse, Austin and Hastings are both down.
Vinegar: Cyanide drags Austin back to his feet and puts him straight back down with an STO. Then headed up to the top rope. Frog Splash ’08!- No, Austin rolls away and Cyanide hits nothing but mat.
Hanson: Hastings is finally recovering from that vicious nut shot and getting back up.
Vinegar: Austin’s sprung back to his feet. Looks like he’s calling for the Emerald City Eliminator.
Hanson: Holy crap, Hastings has got one of those bottles and he just sprayed apple juice in Austin’s face.
Vinegar: If only it was apple juice. Austin clutching at his face and Cyanide is up again. Shot of Cyanide! Huge move, and Austin’s arm caught the chair badly, that could have thrown his elbow right out.
Hanson: Pin fall.
1!
2!
3!
Hanson: It’s over.
Dennis: Here is your winner. Sean Cyaniiiiiiiide!!!
Vinegar: Solid return win for Sean Cyanide, even if he did get a little help from out protester.
Hanson: He’d have won anyway. Hastings just helped the match reach it’s inevitable conclusion.
Vinegar: Well either way he seems to be making his exit. Austin’s still trying to wipe that urine off his face. I’m not sure how well it’s going for him though. I think he’s rushing off to the shower too.
Hanson: And Hastings is getting back into his seat, rightfully so. Fight the corruption Brother!
Crimson Ghost by the Misfits cuts out Cyanide’s music and the Crimson Ghost walks down the ramp and into the ring.
Hanson: What’s that idiot want?
Vinegar: I think he’s trying to talk some sense into Donovan Hastings and get him to move.
Hanson: Yeah good luck.
Vinegar: Yeah, it doesn’t look like it’s working. Words seem to be getting heated.
Hanson: Crimson Ghost should be careful, he doesn’t want to anger him.
Vinegar: I think it’s Hastings who wants to be careful.
The Crimson Ghost throws Hastings out of the chair. The pair start brawling on the ground until Peterson steps in and splits them up. Crimson Ghost shoves past him and clotheslines Hastings over the top rope. He then takes the chair and slides out of the ring, chasing Hastings away from ringside with it.
Vinegar: Well, that was interesting, about time too. After the break, GIW Debutant Soloman goes toe-to-toe with Chassie Fear and Hardcore Dylan James.
