Post by wwjbcd on Oct 31, 2019 22:33:51 GMT -5
Battleground was a sweeping success for Team Johnny; Kenzi Grey-Lacklan successfully defended her Chaos Championship in a brutal bout against Lisa Seldon and thus ensuring half the gold in the #CoolKids stayed there, and then in the MAIN!!! EVENT!!! none other than “Deathwish” Hide Yamazaki endured the onslaught of five other worthy competitors (including directly costing Konrad Raab and Zane Scott their opportunities) and thus survived Battleground 2019!
The #1 Hit-Maker Johnny Bonecrusher is at an all-time high now with no end in sight, especially as the time has finally come for him specifically to shine.
After all this time, Bonecrusher-Nevaeh is happening. It’s finally happening.
Apollo Park is located in Downey, California, and is to be the host of Johnny’s own so-called promotion 30-Seconds of Promos Wrestling Cooperative’s (30SPWC) second show. The two-match card was supposed to occur in mid-late September, but Johnny assures the show will happen eventually.
But for now, the park is set up with many folding chairs occupied with what appear to be members of the press. Before them is a small platform topped with a podium which itself is topped with several microphones. They excitedly murmur among themselves. They impatiently wait for what seems like an eternity.
Then someone sees something. Followed by someone else. People gradually rise to their feet. The murmurs become louder voices. The cheers begin. The flashes of the camera are blinding. Two forms can be seen between the flashes as they make their way up to the podium. The roar from the crowd is deafening. It stays like this for a good minute before people begin to simmer down and take their seats anew.
It is none other than Johnny Bonecrusher standing next to Kenzi Grey-Lacklan, who is dressed more unusual than normal.
Johnny adjusts one of the mics, then clears his throat.
"I'm sure you all know why you're here this afternoon. Now we're not gonna talk about what happened this past Monday at Battleground - the fact that I'm honouring you jabronis with my presence should be enough to tell you how well things went for Team Johnny. No, now, right now, we're all gathered here today to celebrate the life and career of, no, NOT The #1 Hit-Maker, rather, Canada's Greatest Athlete... Johnny... Bonecrusher.
For 20 years, I've done it all and then some; manager as you well know, promoter, General Manager, interviewer, booker, janitor, referee probably, #CoolKid-"
"Uh..."
Johnny narrows his eyes at Kenzi's verbal doubt.
"Huh, what was that?"
"Oh, uh, nothing, just thinking about something completely unrelated."
There's a long pause as the wary look on Johnny's face remains.
"All RIGHT then. Anyway, you get it, right? I've immersed myself into virtually every aspect of professional wrestling... ALL in order to reach this point in time. For you see, in the Year of Our Johnny 2019, I, Johnny Bonecrusher, being of sound body and mind... am hangin' up the ol' wrasslin' boots... for GOOD."
The crowd boos, some people shouting "No!", while others take the opportunity to take more photos. Johnny holds up both hands to silence the audience.
"Whoa WHOA now, I turned 41 a couple weeks ago, and this is, as you damn well know, a younger person's game - even if most of the younger people getting into wrestling are lame and/or obnoxious.
Kenzi clears her throat.
"Ah, present company excluded, of course! Now, let's cut the crap and get right down to why you people are ACTUALLY here now: my FINAL match, on the FINAL bout of the FINAL Chill of 2019. And what BETTER opponent than- well, uh...
Anyway, I've got an opponent lined up, someone I was scheduled to wrestle in the gong show that is 4CW five years ago. Yes, you heard that right: a match that was scheduled as part of an inter-promotional relationship between the aforementioned mud show and ACE, but fell through. But the burning question was, WHY did it fall through? Kenzi, the floor is yours."
Johnny steps aside for Sensational Kenzi to talk up a storm as only Sensational Kenzi can do. However, Sensational Kenzi looks confused.
"Uh- I-I, ah, I don't actually know what happened."
Johnny clenches his jaw as the crowd laughs. He then gently nudges her aside and returns to his original position.
"Right. Well. Okay then. So see, for those of you in desperate need to be caught up to speed, the opponent in question... is Sativa Nevaeh."
The crowd mercilessly boos the very name of Sativa Nevaeh. Johnny looks pleased with himself.
"The best crowd money could buy, Sensational One! The best crowd money could buy. But anyway, yes, back in the day, Sativa wrestled for 4Chan Wrestling. Now bear in mind that, out of everyone in ACE, Yours Truly was the ONLY one brave enough to enter the insane asylum. And right off the bat, Sativa and her circle of friends at the time wanted to start shit with The Johnny. Well, I was more than ready willing and able to shut Sativa's disgusting mouth, but-"
Johnny looks hesitant and pensive. Kenzi consoles Johnny.
"No no, I can do this, O Sensational One. You see, folks, I was under the impression that That Place Whose Name Shall No Longer Be Uttered was a WRESTLING promotion, but no, it was just a bunch of antisocial cowards, Sativa included. Now, understand that The Johnny is a very sensitive soul-"
Kenzi snorts out a suppressed chuckle.
"Now, UNDERSTAND THAT THE JOHNNY IS A SENSITIVE SOUL... and therefore being surrounded by sociopaths wasn't my idea of a good time, so seeing as I didn't have any contractual obligation to... that place... I just returned to ACE full-time. To Sativa's credit, she doesn't appear to be the person she was back then-"
The fans boo in disagreement. Johnny again holds up his hands to suppress the paid crowd.
"No, no, you all listen to me now. Sativa Nevaeh HAS changed: I mean, she's an insufferably obnoxious person, but she seems less socially-retarded than before. So of course I still hate her and her good-for-nothing friends in The Kingdom, but it's, you know, it's a much more MANAGEABLE hate, folks. It's a much more manageable hate.
And as such, I felt the time was right to finally end this little feud of ours once and for all. To her credit, she's coming onto enemy soil, well... She THINKS she's coming onto enemy soil, but little does she know how the people in charge of the UGWC don't have much RESPECT for a bona fide legend! Putting our war in the main event of this Monday's Chill was probably a ploy to humiliate me on a larger scale. But ha ha, Ichabod, the joke's on YOU, because I have NO intention, ZE-ROOO, of leaving the Cotterell Court in Hamilton, New York anything but what all intelligent people already know I am, and that's a WINNER."
The crowd gets animated again, camera flashes bombard the pair.
"I've been working out, uh, you know, virtually non-stop, in order to get back into Sativa-slaying shape, and, well, just look at me NOW!"
But Johnny's wearing a loose-fitting suit, so it's impossible to tell how buff he is underneath those gaudy threads. Kenzi, ever the trooper, feels Johnny's right bicep and gives a look of shock to the crowd that might be a bit exaggerated.
"But it's not gonna be enough to be in tip-top shape and having the ring rust scraped off; Sativa, in her infinite cowardice, is promising to bring along that loud-mouthed no-good gutless yella-bellied knock-kneed pencil-necked geek Morgan Payne, a fellow member of that sex cult they sickeningly call The Kingdom. Well, More-Gone, lemme make one thing... PERFECTLY CLEAR:"
But before he can tear into Morgan, Kenzi violently shoves Johnny aside, gripping one of the mics like she hoped it died in her hands.
"YOUUUUU LISTEN TO MEEEE NOW, MORGAN PAYNE! YOUUUU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO! YOU'RE ENTERING HOSTILE TERRITORY! YOU'RE ENTERING A VERIFIED WAR-ZONE!!! YOU JUST HAAAAD TO INTERJECT YOURSELF INTO MY MAN JOHNNY'S BUSINESS, BUT LITTLE DID YOU FIGURE IN YOUR TINY TIIIINY BRAIN THAT IN CANADA'S GREATEST ATHLETE'S CORNER WOULD THE SENSATIONAL KENZI GREY-LACKLAN! YOU MIIIIGHT WANNA BACK OUT NOW, BUT IT'S TOO LATE! YOU'RE IN THIS FOR THE LONG HAUL, MORGANNNNN! AND THIS LONG HAUL IS GONNA BE YOUR LAST RIIIIIIDE! I'M GONNA PERSONALLY GET A HOLD OF YOU AND SUCK YOUR EYEBALLS OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND SPIT THEM RIGHT BACK AT YOU! MONDAY NIGHT, THE KINGDOM FALLS, AND TEAM JOHNNY WILL BE AT THE TOOOOP OF THE WRESTLING WORLD! START CRYING NOW TO GET AHEAD OF TIME, BECAUSE MAYBE YOU'LL DROWN BEFORE MONDAY AND SPARE US ALL THE TROUBLE! I PRAY YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN, BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA MAKE THEM ORPHAAAANSSSS! THEN WE'LL FIND THOSE KIDS AND-"
"Okay, okay, okay, Sensational Kenzi, my god, that's more than enough!"
Sensational Kenzi stares off wide-eyes into the crowd.
"But nevertheless, she's right, Morgan: you willingly interjected yourself into a war you'll only find out too little too late that you wouldn't want any part in. Maybe you fancy yourself Sativa's ride or die, well, GUESS WHAT? You're riding to New York JUST to die! This is five years in the making, and after all the BULLSHIT I had to endure from you people for well beyond FAR too long now, in four days' time, it'll be over and done with."
Johnny lowers his head and chuckles a bit.
"But it's never REALLY over, now IS it, Sativa? No... no, it never is. But for you, this is your ONE AND ONLY shot at me. You either shut The Johnny up Monday for good, or you concede that, even five years older than I would have been at our proposed first encounter, and despite being MOSTLY retired for a good while now, my 20 years doing this trumps your big mouth, your Kingdom, your EVERY DAMN THING! You'll regret showing up Monday, you'll regret pestering me for years, and most importantly, you'll regret you were ever born, you festering boil of a subhuman nonentity!"
Johnny slams his hands onto the podium, causing even Sensational Kenzi to jump back a bit.
"Monday night, The Kingdom is The KingDONE! Thank you for coming, now FUCK OFF, I've got WORK ta do!"
And with that, the crowd uniformly rise to their feet, giving a roaring round of applause to the soon-to-be fully retired Johnny Bonecrusher.
The #1 Hit-Maker Johnny Bonecrusher is at an all-time high now with no end in sight, especially as the time has finally come for him specifically to shine.
After all this time, Bonecrusher-Nevaeh is happening. It’s finally happening.
Apollo Park is located in Downey, California, and is to be the host of Johnny’s own so-called promotion 30-Seconds of Promos Wrestling Cooperative’s (30SPWC) second show. The two-match card was supposed to occur in mid-late September, but Johnny assures the show will happen eventually.
But for now, the park is set up with many folding chairs occupied with what appear to be members of the press. Before them is a small platform topped with a podium which itself is topped with several microphones. They excitedly murmur among themselves. They impatiently wait for what seems like an eternity.
Then someone sees something. Followed by someone else. People gradually rise to their feet. The murmurs become louder voices. The cheers begin. The flashes of the camera are blinding. Two forms can be seen between the flashes as they make their way up to the podium. The roar from the crowd is deafening. It stays like this for a good minute before people begin to simmer down and take their seats anew.
It is none other than Johnny Bonecrusher standing next to Kenzi Grey-Lacklan, who is dressed more unusual than normal.
Johnny adjusts one of the mics, then clears his throat.
"I'm sure you all know why you're here this afternoon. Now we're not gonna talk about what happened this past Monday at Battleground - the fact that I'm honouring you jabronis with my presence should be enough to tell you how well things went for Team Johnny. No, now, right now, we're all gathered here today to celebrate the life and career of, no, NOT The #1 Hit-Maker, rather, Canada's Greatest Athlete... Johnny... Bonecrusher.
For 20 years, I've done it all and then some; manager as you well know, promoter, General Manager, interviewer, booker, janitor, referee probably, #CoolKid-"
"Uh..."
Johnny narrows his eyes at Kenzi's verbal doubt.
"Huh, what was that?"
"Oh, uh, nothing, just thinking about something completely unrelated."
There's a long pause as the wary look on Johnny's face remains.
"All RIGHT then. Anyway, you get it, right? I've immersed myself into virtually every aspect of professional wrestling... ALL in order to reach this point in time. For you see, in the Year of Our Johnny 2019, I, Johnny Bonecrusher, being of sound body and mind... am hangin' up the ol' wrasslin' boots... for GOOD."
The crowd boos, some people shouting "No!", while others take the opportunity to take more photos. Johnny holds up both hands to silence the audience.
"Whoa WHOA now, I turned 41 a couple weeks ago, and this is, as you damn well know, a younger person's game - even if most of the younger people getting into wrestling are lame and/or obnoxious.
Kenzi clears her throat.
"Ah, present company excluded, of course! Now, let's cut the crap and get right down to why you people are ACTUALLY here now: my FINAL match, on the FINAL bout of the FINAL Chill of 2019. And what BETTER opponent than- well, uh...
Anyway, I've got an opponent lined up, someone I was scheduled to wrestle in the gong show that is 4CW five years ago. Yes, you heard that right: a match that was scheduled as part of an inter-promotional relationship between the aforementioned mud show and ACE, but fell through. But the burning question was, WHY did it fall through? Kenzi, the floor is yours."
Johnny steps aside for Sensational Kenzi to talk up a storm as only Sensational Kenzi can do. However, Sensational Kenzi looks confused.
"Uh- I-I, ah, I don't actually know what happened."
Johnny clenches his jaw as the crowd laughs. He then gently nudges her aside and returns to his original position.
"Right. Well. Okay then. So see, for those of you in desperate need to be caught up to speed, the opponent in question... is Sativa Nevaeh."
The crowd mercilessly boos the very name of Sativa Nevaeh. Johnny looks pleased with himself.
"The best crowd money could buy, Sensational One! The best crowd money could buy. But anyway, yes, back in the day, Sativa wrestled for 4Chan Wrestling. Now bear in mind that, out of everyone in ACE, Yours Truly was the ONLY one brave enough to enter the insane asylum. And right off the bat, Sativa and her circle of friends at the time wanted to start shit with The Johnny. Well, I was more than ready willing and able to shut Sativa's disgusting mouth, but-"
Johnny looks hesitant and pensive. Kenzi consoles Johnny.
"No no, I can do this, O Sensational One. You see, folks, I was under the impression that That Place Whose Name Shall No Longer Be Uttered was a WRESTLING promotion, but no, it was just a bunch of antisocial cowards, Sativa included. Now, understand that The Johnny is a very sensitive soul-"
Kenzi snorts out a suppressed chuckle.
"Now, UNDERSTAND THAT THE JOHNNY IS A SENSITIVE SOUL... and therefore being surrounded by sociopaths wasn't my idea of a good time, so seeing as I didn't have any contractual obligation to... that place... I just returned to ACE full-time. To Sativa's credit, she doesn't appear to be the person she was back then-"
The fans boo in disagreement. Johnny again holds up his hands to suppress the paid crowd.
"No, no, you all listen to me now. Sativa Nevaeh HAS changed: I mean, she's an insufferably obnoxious person, but she seems less socially-retarded than before. So of course I still hate her and her good-for-nothing friends in The Kingdom, but it's, you know, it's a much more MANAGEABLE hate, folks. It's a much more manageable hate.
And as such, I felt the time was right to finally end this little feud of ours once and for all. To her credit, she's coming onto enemy soil, well... She THINKS she's coming onto enemy soil, but little does she know how the people in charge of the UGWC don't have much RESPECT for a bona fide legend! Putting our war in the main event of this Monday's Chill was probably a ploy to humiliate me on a larger scale. But ha ha, Ichabod, the joke's on YOU, because I have NO intention, ZE-ROOO, of leaving the Cotterell Court in Hamilton, New York anything but what all intelligent people already know I am, and that's a WINNER."
The crowd gets animated again, camera flashes bombard the pair.
"I've been working out, uh, you know, virtually non-stop, in order to get back into Sativa-slaying shape, and, well, just look at me NOW!"
But Johnny's wearing a loose-fitting suit, so it's impossible to tell how buff he is underneath those gaudy threads. Kenzi, ever the trooper, feels Johnny's right bicep and gives a look of shock to the crowd that might be a bit exaggerated.
"But it's not gonna be enough to be in tip-top shape and having the ring rust scraped off; Sativa, in her infinite cowardice, is promising to bring along that loud-mouthed no-good gutless yella-bellied knock-kneed pencil-necked geek Morgan Payne, a fellow member of that sex cult they sickeningly call The Kingdom. Well, More-Gone, lemme make one thing... PERFECTLY CLEAR:"
But before he can tear into Morgan, Kenzi violently shoves Johnny aside, gripping one of the mics like she hoped it died in her hands.
"YOUUUUU LISTEN TO MEEEE NOW, MORGAN PAYNE! YOUUUU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO! YOU'RE ENTERING HOSTILE TERRITORY! YOU'RE ENTERING A VERIFIED WAR-ZONE!!! YOU JUST HAAAAD TO INTERJECT YOURSELF INTO MY MAN JOHNNY'S BUSINESS, BUT LITTLE DID YOU FIGURE IN YOUR TINY TIIIINY BRAIN THAT IN CANADA'S GREATEST ATHLETE'S CORNER WOULD THE SENSATIONAL KENZI GREY-LACKLAN! YOU MIIIIGHT WANNA BACK OUT NOW, BUT IT'S TOO LATE! YOU'RE IN THIS FOR THE LONG HAUL, MORGANNNNN! AND THIS LONG HAUL IS GONNA BE YOUR LAST RIIIIIIDE! I'M GONNA PERSONALLY GET A HOLD OF YOU AND SUCK YOUR EYEBALLS OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND SPIT THEM RIGHT BACK AT YOU! MONDAY NIGHT, THE KINGDOM FALLS, AND TEAM JOHNNY WILL BE AT THE TOOOOP OF THE WRESTLING WORLD! START CRYING NOW TO GET AHEAD OF TIME, BECAUSE MAYBE YOU'LL DROWN BEFORE MONDAY AND SPARE US ALL THE TROUBLE! I PRAY YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN, BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA MAKE THEM ORPHAAAANSSSS! THEN WE'LL FIND THOSE KIDS AND-"
"Okay, okay, okay, Sensational Kenzi, my god, that's more than enough!"
Sensational Kenzi stares off wide-eyes into the crowd.
"But nevertheless, she's right, Morgan: you willingly interjected yourself into a war you'll only find out too little too late that you wouldn't want any part in. Maybe you fancy yourself Sativa's ride or die, well, GUESS WHAT? You're riding to New York JUST to die! This is five years in the making, and after all the BULLSHIT I had to endure from you people for well beyond FAR too long now, in four days' time, it'll be over and done with."
Johnny lowers his head and chuckles a bit.
"But it's never REALLY over, now IS it, Sativa? No... no, it never is. But for you, this is your ONE AND ONLY shot at me. You either shut The Johnny up Monday for good, or you concede that, even five years older than I would have been at our proposed first encounter, and despite being MOSTLY retired for a good while now, my 20 years doing this trumps your big mouth, your Kingdom, your EVERY DAMN THING! You'll regret showing up Monday, you'll regret pestering me for years, and most importantly, you'll regret you were ever born, you festering boil of a subhuman nonentity!"
Johnny slams his hands onto the podium, causing even Sensational Kenzi to jump back a bit.
"Monday night, The Kingdom is The KingDONE! Thank you for coming, now FUCK OFF, I've got WORK ta do!"
And with that, the crowd uniformly rise to their feet, giving a roaring round of applause to the soon-to-be fully retired Johnny Bonecrusher.
