Post by Travis Pierce on Dec 7, 2019 21:29:26 GMT -5
Travis sits at the head of the table in the meeting room within the offices of the Piercing Media Network, drumming his fingers on the table.
Pierce: Let’s get through this quickly, I have a lot to do today.
Cartwright: Certainly, let’s see…
Rob thumbs through some papers.
Cartwright: After the usual start to the day, we’ll roll out a new episode of Am-
Pierce: Just let me see it. I don’t want it read to me.
Cartwright: Sure.
Rob flips over the white board, revealing the PMN lineup for the following day.
Pierce: Looks good, though I’m not sure you’ve allotted enough time for our true saga of CTN special.
Cartwright: I assumed you would want to leave some meat on the bone for TPT itself.
Pierce: Fair enough. Yeah, we can make all of that official.
Cartwright: Delightful.
Rob neatly stacks his papers.
Cartwright: How are you feeling about Horizons?
Pierce: Love Horizons. Always a great day.
Cartwright: You know full well I mean the match with Kenzi.
Pierce: So did I.
Cartwright: I’m not sure you should be so flippant about a match with such high stakes. This is going to impact me too.
Pierce: I’m aware. It did the last time too. I’m sure you recall.
Cartwright: Of course I do.
Travis thrusts both hands into the air as though viewing a headline.
Pierce: Previously, on “Threats to the Broadcast Empire That is the Piercing Media Network,” Eden Morgan enacts a backstabbing and ruthless hostile takeover to steal PMN away from it’s founder, including the rights to the very name “Travis Pierce” itself! Our hero, forced to compete under a new moniker as Trevor Sharp, is victorious at Battleground and uses his prize of selecting any match of his choosing at Horizons to challenge Eden with the rights to PMN itself on the line! It is an exciting and terrifying drama, and at the end of the day, Travis Pierce reclaims his company and his identity to usher in a new era of entertainment and unbridled creativity!
Travis gives Rob a quizzical expression.
Pierce: Why aren’t we running a special on that this week?
Cartwright: We are, it’s the night before Horizons itself.
Pierce: Perfect.
Cartwright: But if you lose at Horizons-
Pierce: If I lose at Horizons, CTN gets exclusive broadcast rights for UGWC. You’re forgetting that PMN has never needed UGWC, it’s the other way around. UGWC needs us. Look back at that schedule for tomorrow, how much of that relies on UGWC? We’re going to be fine. This is about protecting our intellectual property, protecting our rights as entertainers. Protecting our opportunities outside of PMN. Look at WrestleStock this year. CTN was in charge of the broadcast and we needed to break in on it to save it. Can you imagine how many fans we would have lost otherwise? If CTN gets broadcast control of UGWC, ten years of UGWC is going to circle the bowl and fade into obscurity.
Cartwright: And don’t forget the Chaos Title.
Pierce: Honestly, and I’m sad to say this, but that’s an afterthought here. Honestly, I’ve done everything there is to do in that division. Kenzi is the one that certainly needed it, and she has a lot to lose in that regard. After all, I’m a Grand Slam Champion. What has Kenzi managed to accomplish aside from choke after choke? She needed Hastings of all people to climb back from obscurity to garner some success, suffered failure after failure on her own. Kenzi was a strong performer on Chill, which is akin to having warning track power. She’s had success in the big leagues when she’s had Donovan or Sarah to pick her up and prompt her along. When she gets the opportunity to shine on her own, like against Vaughn at Seven Deadly Sins, she comes up short. I’d go so far as to suggest the only reason she won the Chaos Title to begin with was because she didn’t have to beat a real champion to do it! It’s not like she took down Bordy to win the title, she wasn’t able to do that. She beat Konrad Raab in a match for a vacant title. She defended it against someone who was having her first ever solo match in UGWC. There’s nothing about this reign that has been inspiring or remotely impressive. It’s not like last year when I won the title by slaying the monster that was Necron, went on to successfully defend it against the same two people that everybody wants to promote as the top two talents in UGWC this year, Angie and Roxy. One again, I’m the original, and Kenzi Grey is nothing but a pale imitation, a cheap copy.
Cartwright: I hope so.
Pierce: I know so. When I win at Horizons, I’m going to become the unprecedented five-time UGWC Chaos Champion, and more importantly CTN will be banished from UGWC forever...for the moment.
Cartwright: ...for the moment.
Pierce: This is professional wrestling, Rob. It’s a competitive form of comic book death. CTN flourished these past couple years with access to UGWC resources, which after Horizons we’ll have full control of. CTN will be desperate to maintain a finger hold on relevance, and our table will be inviting with our ears open. They’ll want to make a deal, and it’s then that Kenzi Grey will discover just how deeply the truth...hurts.
Rob nods in understanding, and Travis simply grins.
Pierce: Let’s get through this quickly, I have a lot to do today.
Cartwright: Certainly, let’s see…
Rob thumbs through some papers.
Cartwright: After the usual start to the day, we’ll roll out a new episode of Am-
Pierce: Just let me see it. I don’t want it read to me.
Cartwright: Sure.
Rob flips over the white board, revealing the PMN lineup for the following day.
7:00 AM - The Piercing Truth - Start your day with Travis Pierce and get the headlines of the day that were recorded last night or recently.
8:00 AM - Amazing Loft Spaces: The Journey of CajoolZ and his Quest to Upgrade his Living Conditions - In this episode, CajoolZ is invited by a local slumlord to take a nap in the sewer drain outside his building.
9:00 AM - Why these ice creams and desserts are my favorites and how to make them in an afternoon of preparation or where to buy them for a reasonable price in cash or with credit if your prefer, with Konrad Raab - In this episode, Konrad travels to a Cold Stone Creamery and is dazzled and amazed when they have to sing in response to his placing a tip in the jar.
10:00 AM - The Silly Adventures of Sambrino - A living cartoon character of an everyman stumbles into various unrelated hijinks. Also he’s wearing a luchador mask for some inexplicable reason. In this episode, Sambrino goes shopping in a local supermarket.
10:30 AM - Who Might You Have Possibly Been? - Gabrielle Montgomery sits down with the experts and looks at similar namesakes throughout history. How does Gabby cope when faced with some of the challenges thrown at Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery, 1st Viscount Montgomery of Alamein, during the First and Second World Wars?
11:00 AM - The Piercing Question! - On this exciting game show, we’ll ask you a question. You will answer that question with a question. That question will become an answer which will become a question. We will turn that question into an answer and that answer will become your question. It’s that simple!
11:30 AM - The Phreakest Link - Popular quiz show based off the 100% authentic Phrixus Deimos journals. Today’s theme explores Deimos’ observations on musical theater.
12:00 PM - The Piercing Truth - Get your midday update as we replay The Piercing Truth from last night.
1:00 PM - The Piercing Life - This is the true story of a group of Entertainment Professionals chosen for superiority who work together and have their lives taped to find out what happens when life gets…pierced…The Piercing Life.
2:00 PM - Horrendous Hookup - Follow the dating mishaps of Ida Silver, a sexually irresponsible woman who finds herself in extremely comedic misadventures and inspired by the real-life tryst of Gabrielle Montgomery and Tyvola.
2:30 PM - Who Cockatoo is it Anyway? - Brian Charteuse and Covert Jay join Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie ad libbing to the every whim of host Robert Ooley.
3:00 PM - Real Parents of SJW - In this week’s episode X-Bro 420’s Mom takes his place at the Drive-Thru so that he can answer the call of a UGWC Superstar. Meanwhile Phobos Timore’s Step-Father decides to visit the drive through and hilarity entails.
4:00 PM - True Defective - This story unfolds over three decades, telling the story of a prize fighter trying to solve the mystery of why, in all this time, he hasn't been granted a championship fight. Deepening the investigation are the physical ailments the snubs are causing, including hives, toenail fungus, and the inability to digest tree nuts.
5:00 PM - Abandoned in the Arena - Bones the Janitor continues his guided tour of the UGWC Lost Property department, giving us the myths and legends behind some of the Coalition’s most infamous objects as only he can (topless, covered in baby oil, and with a lisp). On this episode we find out what T-Rob’s busted laptop is used for now. Viewer discretion is advised.
5:30 PM - The Supernatural with Somers - Jet finds new and interesting ways to wet himself in yet another old, abandoned building.
6:00 PM - The Piercing Truth - Get your evening started with a dose of the headlines of the day as you get your news from The Piercing Truth! Note: This is a replay from the previous night.
7:00 PM - The Glory of the Circle Television Network - In this brand new special, Travis Pierce lists all of the fantastic accomplishments that CTN has contributed to the industry.
7:01 PM - The Garbage that is the Circle Television Network - In this brand new special, Travis Pierce tells you how awful CTN is. Includes a special interview with comatose Jet Somers.
9:00 PM - Ashamed Unthroned - After two years of waiting, fans of the smash adaptation featuring narcissistic deposed monarchs desperately trying to matter after their kingdom was stolen returns for its jaw dropping final season.
10:00 PM - After the Shame - Pepper Phoenix hosts this live talk show discussing the latest episode of Ashamed Unthroned.
11:00 PM - The Piercing Truth LIVE! - Travis Pierce brings you all the headlines of the day, all the news that is fit to mock. Don’t miss headlines, hard-hitting interviews with the deep cuts, ask your piercing questions from the fans, and eagerly anticipate a quiet moment with Travis.
12:00 AM - The Hastings of Shrill House - Critics are calling it the most terrifying streaming series available; a father can’t get anything done day after day because he can’t hear himself think over the non-stop screaming of his twin daughters.
1:00 AM - Rapes, Racism, and Mickey Dragon: The Stories UGWC Wants You To Forget - In this episode, travel back to the days of the Axiom and wonder why anybody thought that was a good idea.
2:00 AM - Pie Hard - Mike Scapadopolous stars as Tom McBridleway, the delivery boy who is the only hope when his Chicago Pizzeria, Snack-it-to-Me Pizza, is taken hostage on Christmas Eve by terrorists lead by the evil Fran Goober (Mark Riznak). To make matters worse, his high school crush is one of the hostages. It’s up to McBridleway to save the day, with a little help from a wayward Lyft driver (Gian Jones) and a firefighter approaching retirement (Owen Peterson).
3:00 AM - 613 Reasons Why (She was Afraid) - After their classmate takes her own life, several teenagers explore her handwritten journals to discover she was plagued by every phobia known to psychology. As they continue to unlock her psyche, their realizations are played out as a series of illuminating flashbacks.
4:00 AM - The Best of PMN - Enjoy highlights of the broadcast day as you can relive the best of Travis being Travis.
6:00 AM - The Piercing Truth - A replay of the 11:00 PM episode of The Piercing Truth.
8:00 AM - Amazing Loft Spaces: The Journey of CajoolZ and his Quest to Upgrade his Living Conditions - In this episode, CajoolZ is invited by a local slumlord to take a nap in the sewer drain outside his building.
9:00 AM - Why these ice creams and desserts are my favorites and how to make them in an afternoon of preparation or where to buy them for a reasonable price in cash or with credit if your prefer, with Konrad Raab - In this episode, Konrad travels to a Cold Stone Creamery and is dazzled and amazed when they have to sing in response to his placing a tip in the jar.
10:00 AM - The Silly Adventures of Sambrino - A living cartoon character of an everyman stumbles into various unrelated hijinks. Also he’s wearing a luchador mask for some inexplicable reason. In this episode, Sambrino goes shopping in a local supermarket.
10:30 AM - Who Might You Have Possibly Been? - Gabrielle Montgomery sits down with the experts and looks at similar namesakes throughout history. How does Gabby cope when faced with some of the challenges thrown at Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery, 1st Viscount Montgomery of Alamein, during the First and Second World Wars?
11:00 AM - The Piercing Question! - On this exciting game show, we’ll ask you a question. You will answer that question with a question. That question will become an answer which will become a question. We will turn that question into an answer and that answer will become your question. It’s that simple!
11:30 AM - The Phreakest Link - Popular quiz show based off the 100% authentic Phrixus Deimos journals. Today’s theme explores Deimos’ observations on musical theater.
12:00 PM - The Piercing Truth - Get your midday update as we replay The Piercing Truth from last night.
1:00 PM - The Piercing Life - This is the true story of a group of Entertainment Professionals chosen for superiority who work together and have their lives taped to find out what happens when life gets…pierced…The Piercing Life.
2:00 PM - Horrendous Hookup - Follow the dating mishaps of Ida Silver, a sexually irresponsible woman who finds herself in extremely comedic misadventures and inspired by the real-life tryst of Gabrielle Montgomery and Tyvola.
2:30 PM - Who Cockatoo is it Anyway? - Brian Charteuse and Covert Jay join Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie ad libbing to the every whim of host Robert Ooley.
3:00 PM - Real Parents of SJW - In this week’s episode X-Bro 420’s Mom takes his place at the Drive-Thru so that he can answer the call of a UGWC Superstar. Meanwhile Phobos Timore’s Step-Father decides to visit the drive through and hilarity entails.
4:00 PM - True Defective - This story unfolds over three decades, telling the story of a prize fighter trying to solve the mystery of why, in all this time, he hasn't been granted a championship fight. Deepening the investigation are the physical ailments the snubs are causing, including hives, toenail fungus, and the inability to digest tree nuts.
5:00 PM - Abandoned in the Arena - Bones the Janitor continues his guided tour of the UGWC Lost Property department, giving us the myths and legends behind some of the Coalition’s most infamous objects as only he can (topless, covered in baby oil, and with a lisp). On this episode we find out what T-Rob’s busted laptop is used for now. Viewer discretion is advised.
5:30 PM - The Supernatural with Somers - Jet finds new and interesting ways to wet himself in yet another old, abandoned building.
6:00 PM - The Piercing Truth - Get your evening started with a dose of the headlines of the day as you get your news from The Piercing Truth! Note: This is a replay from the previous night.
7:00 PM - The Glory of the Circle Television Network - In this brand new special, Travis Pierce lists all of the fantastic accomplishments that CTN has contributed to the industry.
7:01 PM - The Garbage that is the Circle Television Network - In this brand new special, Travis Pierce tells you how awful CTN is. Includes a special interview with comatose Jet Somers.
9:00 PM - Ashamed Unthroned - After two years of waiting, fans of the smash adaptation featuring narcissistic deposed monarchs desperately trying to matter after their kingdom was stolen returns for its jaw dropping final season.
10:00 PM - After the Shame - Pepper Phoenix hosts this live talk show discussing the latest episode of Ashamed Unthroned.
11:00 PM - The Piercing Truth LIVE! - Travis Pierce brings you all the headlines of the day, all the news that is fit to mock. Don’t miss headlines, hard-hitting interviews with the deep cuts, ask your piercing questions from the fans, and eagerly anticipate a quiet moment with Travis.
12:00 AM - The Hastings of Shrill House - Critics are calling it the most terrifying streaming series available; a father can’t get anything done day after day because he can’t hear himself think over the non-stop screaming of his twin daughters.
1:00 AM - Rapes, Racism, and Mickey Dragon: The Stories UGWC Wants You To Forget - In this episode, travel back to the days of the Axiom and wonder why anybody thought that was a good idea.
2:00 AM - Pie Hard - Mike Scapadopolous stars as Tom McBridleway, the delivery boy who is the only hope when his Chicago Pizzeria, Snack-it-to-Me Pizza, is taken hostage on Christmas Eve by terrorists lead by the evil Fran Goober (Mark Riznak). To make matters worse, his high school crush is one of the hostages. It’s up to McBridleway to save the day, with a little help from a wayward Lyft driver (Gian Jones) and a firefighter approaching retirement (Owen Peterson).
3:00 AM - 613 Reasons Why (She was Afraid) - After their classmate takes her own life, several teenagers explore her handwritten journals to discover she was plagued by every phobia known to psychology. As they continue to unlock her psyche, their realizations are played out as a series of illuminating flashbacks.
4:00 AM - The Best of PMN - Enjoy highlights of the broadcast day as you can relive the best of Travis being Travis.
6:00 AM - The Piercing Truth - A replay of the 11:00 PM episode of The Piercing Truth.
Pierce: Looks good, though I’m not sure you’ve allotted enough time for our true saga of CTN special.
Cartwright: I assumed you would want to leave some meat on the bone for TPT itself.
Pierce: Fair enough. Yeah, we can make all of that official.
Cartwright: Delightful.
Rob neatly stacks his papers.
Cartwright: How are you feeling about Horizons?
Pierce: Love Horizons. Always a great day.
Cartwright: You know full well I mean the match with Kenzi.
Pierce: So did I.
Cartwright: I’m not sure you should be so flippant about a match with such high stakes. This is going to impact me too.
Pierce: I’m aware. It did the last time too. I’m sure you recall.
Cartwright: Of course I do.
Travis thrusts both hands into the air as though viewing a headline.
Pierce: Previously, on “Threats to the Broadcast Empire That is the Piercing Media Network,” Eden Morgan enacts a backstabbing and ruthless hostile takeover to steal PMN away from it’s founder, including the rights to the very name “Travis Pierce” itself! Our hero, forced to compete under a new moniker as Trevor Sharp, is victorious at Battleground and uses his prize of selecting any match of his choosing at Horizons to challenge Eden with the rights to PMN itself on the line! It is an exciting and terrifying drama, and at the end of the day, Travis Pierce reclaims his company and his identity to usher in a new era of entertainment and unbridled creativity!
Travis gives Rob a quizzical expression.
Pierce: Why aren’t we running a special on that this week?
Cartwright: We are, it’s the night before Horizons itself.
Pierce: Perfect.
Cartwright: But if you lose at Horizons-
Pierce: If I lose at Horizons, CTN gets exclusive broadcast rights for UGWC. You’re forgetting that PMN has never needed UGWC, it’s the other way around. UGWC needs us. Look back at that schedule for tomorrow, how much of that relies on UGWC? We’re going to be fine. This is about protecting our intellectual property, protecting our rights as entertainers. Protecting our opportunities outside of PMN. Look at WrestleStock this year. CTN was in charge of the broadcast and we needed to break in on it to save it. Can you imagine how many fans we would have lost otherwise? If CTN gets broadcast control of UGWC, ten years of UGWC is going to circle the bowl and fade into obscurity.
Cartwright: And don’t forget the Chaos Title.
Pierce: Honestly, and I’m sad to say this, but that’s an afterthought here. Honestly, I’ve done everything there is to do in that division. Kenzi is the one that certainly needed it, and she has a lot to lose in that regard. After all, I’m a Grand Slam Champion. What has Kenzi managed to accomplish aside from choke after choke? She needed Hastings of all people to climb back from obscurity to garner some success, suffered failure after failure on her own. Kenzi was a strong performer on Chill, which is akin to having warning track power. She’s had success in the big leagues when she’s had Donovan or Sarah to pick her up and prompt her along. When she gets the opportunity to shine on her own, like against Vaughn at Seven Deadly Sins, she comes up short. I’d go so far as to suggest the only reason she won the Chaos Title to begin with was because she didn’t have to beat a real champion to do it! It’s not like she took down Bordy to win the title, she wasn’t able to do that. She beat Konrad Raab in a match for a vacant title. She defended it against someone who was having her first ever solo match in UGWC. There’s nothing about this reign that has been inspiring or remotely impressive. It’s not like last year when I won the title by slaying the monster that was Necron, went on to successfully defend it against the same two people that everybody wants to promote as the top two talents in UGWC this year, Angie and Roxy. One again, I’m the original, and Kenzi Grey is nothing but a pale imitation, a cheap copy.
Cartwright: I hope so.
Pierce: I know so. When I win at Horizons, I’m going to become the unprecedented five-time UGWC Chaos Champion, and more importantly CTN will be banished from UGWC forever...for the moment.
Cartwright: ...for the moment.
Pierce: This is professional wrestling, Rob. It’s a competitive form of comic book death. CTN flourished these past couple years with access to UGWC resources, which after Horizons we’ll have full control of. CTN will be desperate to maintain a finger hold on relevance, and our table will be inviting with our ears open. They’ll want to make a deal, and it’s then that Kenzi Grey will discover just how deeply the truth...hurts.
Rob nods in understanding, and Travis simply grins.
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