Sentinel 25/10/08 RESULTS

[Lord Hastings]

Hanson: Well my niggas, it's that time of week again.

Vinegar: Oh God. I can hear the lawsuits being filed already...

Teahouse starts playing and Alex Kiseragi walks out to the top of the ramp. He‘s wearing a black and white pinstripe suit, black shirt, white tie and has the Global Heavyweight title draped over his left shoulder.

Hanson: Oh god, what does he want?

Vinegar: That’s our new Global Heavyweight Champion there partner. He went though hell in London to get that. I think he’s earned a few minutes of our time.

Alex slowly walks down towards the ring, taking his time to high five or shake hands with as many fans as possible and pointing and waving towards any signs with his name he happens to spot on the way.

Hanson: Look at him sucking up to the crowd.

Vinegar: They love him, and he loves them…

Hanson: I bet he does.

Vinegar: You know that’s not what I meant. Would you rather he ignored and belittled them like Travis Roberts?

Hanson: Travis Roberts is a whore.

Alex gets down to the ring and climbs up the steps and through the middle and top rope. Dennis hands him a microphone which he accepts and shakes his hand before the announcer steps out. Alex holds his hand up, politely asking for quiet so he can speak. Once the worst of the cheers have died down he raises the mic to his mouth.

Alex: Hey.

There’s another loud cheer which brings a wide beaming smile to his face and he holds his hand up again to quite them again.

Alex: So, I’ve been here just over three months now and frankly, to be standing here right now, holding this belt, I’m as surprised as any of you. I can only say that it’s a dream come true.

Alex: After the show last week I was in a hospital over in London, getting patched up and, once I’d recovered from the blood loss I started to think about everyone who made this possible for me, because to claim I did this alone would be a vile injustice to a lot of people. That’s why I requested to come out here tonight, to say Thank You.

Alex lowers the mic a little and lets the crowd cheer again. He shrugs his shoulder a little to adjust the belt on his shoulder and raises the mic again.

Alex: That wasn’t it. Because one all encompassing thank you isn’t enough. So in no particular order, I’d like to get to everyone. First, I wanna thank Declan Prescott.

There’s a chorus of boos from all around and Alex holds his hand up again.

Alex: Yes, you’re right to boo. Declan Prescott is a horrible, conniving, manipulative person. But without Declan Prescott there would be no Global Impact Wrestling. Without Declan Prescott I wouldn’t be in this company and without Declan Prescott giving me my opportunities I wouldn’t have been able to win this belt.

Hanson: He’s got a point. He owes our great owner everything.

Vinegar: Everything’s probably a bit of an exaggeration but I think it’s only right to acknowledge him.

Alex: Now I’ve got him out of the way, the more genuine thank yous.

Alex points his free hand up the ramp towards the backstage area.

Alex: I wanna thank Ray and Mike, the pyro guys, and Dave the soundman.

Alex turns around and walks to the other side of the ring to point at Mitchell Dennis.

Alex: And I wanna thank Mitchell Dennis, all of you, for making me look good every time I came out here. Thank you.

Alex walks across the ring again to point to Nick Vinegar at the announce table.

Alex: I want to thank the great Nick Vinegar, for believing in me and bigging me up, and I wanna thank Dani---actually scratch that. Stuff him.

Vinegar: In the words of the internet, I think you just got owned.

Hanson: Shut up.

Alex: I wanna thank Randy Boolzian and Brandon Brown, and hell, let’s throw Jack Severino into this one too. I wanna thank Jack for that first time he dumped my head into the mat and pinned me. I want to thank Brandon Brown for every time he kicked me in the face. I want to thank Randy Boolzian for slamming my face into those tacs. Every one of you pushed me to a new limit. Every one of you made me stronger and prepared me for this moment, for that I thank you.

Hanson: Oh pu-lease. I feel like I’m in some Disney after school special.

Vinegar: You’re just jealous because he didn’t have a thank you for you.

Alex: I want to thank you all, the fans.

There’s another huge cheer which Alex tries to talk over, having to start his sentence several times before he can.

Alex: I want to thank every one of you who has cheered my name. Every one of you who has inspired me every time I’ve stepped out onto this stage. Every one of you who has picked me up when I’ve been knocked down and given you strength to my muscles. To all the Dragons out there, thank you.

Alex: And finally, I want to thank one man. Dave, music.

Teahouse starts to play again and Yasutoki walks out to a few cheers from those fans who recognise him and appreciate the role he played the week before, or those who, just like cheering. Yasutoki climbs up the steps and into the ring the same way his son did before.

Hanson: Oh, so the cheaters here too. This is just great.

Vinegar: Cheater?

Hanson: Yeah, you saw him interfere.

Vinegar: By taking out someone else who was interfering and actually in no way involving himself with the actual match?

Hanson: Exactly…wait, what?

Alex and his Father share a brief embrace before the elder backs off, bowing his head slightly in respect as Alex continues.

Alex: For those of you who don’t know, I’d like to introduce my Father. Yasutoki Kiseragi, who’d I should be thanking for too many things to fit into this show, so for now I’m going to say thank you for knocking aside that damn missile launcher, for giving Declan Prescott the beating he’s been asking for, and for making me the man I am today.

Hanson: Please tell me he’s done.

Alex: Now there’s one more thing I want to say.

Hanson: Oh crap.

Alex: Randy Boolzian. You may not have announced your choice of match for Horizons, but it’s still no secret that you’re gunning for this belt. Now I know someone must have said it to you at the fan fest in London, because everyone said to me, it’s the match they all want to see. The Dragon and the Red Bull Icon, for the biggest title of the biggest company in the biggest match on the biggest stage of them all. So let’s settle it, man to man, one on one, Randy. Horizons, bring it on.

Teahouse kicks in again as Alex lowers the mic and both he and his Father leave the ring, Yasutoki splitting the ropes for Alex to pass through, Alex doing the same as his Father follows. He passes the microphone to Mitchell Dennis as he leaves and the two walk backwards up the ramp, Yasutoki holding up his Son’s right arm while the Dragon holds up the title belt in his left.

Vinegar: Now there’s a true champion. Respectful, courageous, honourable.

Hanson: Stupid.

Vinegar: Oh quit whining, maybe if you didn’t make gay jokes about him all the time he’d have thanked you too. Now suck it up, cause after this commercial break, we’ve gotour first match coming up and it promises to be a barn burner.

[Lord Hastings]

'Honor' by Atreyu with an introduction by 'We Will Rock You' by Queen leading into 'Iron Man' by Black Sabbath plays as War and Peace make their way out to the ring.

Hanson: Wow, here come the losers from last week. Glad to say that if they lose, we won’t have to watch these two at the grandest stage of them all.

Vinegar: Wrestlemania?

Hanson: HA! Burn.

All Nightmare Long by Metallica plays as James and Cyanide make their way down to the ring.

Hanson: This is a team that I can see going quite far.

Vinegar: Hardly, Hanson, the two of them lost to one man last week and don’t seem to have learned from it.

Hanson: Savana is a freak of nature and I bet if we drug tested him, he would end up failing and being fired for violation of our policy.

Vinegar: Hanson, you were the first to even fail the policy that never existed and just want Savana to be in the same boat as you so he can row it. War and Peace watching as James and Cyanide talk over their plans before the bell rings. Owen Peterson is the referee for this match and the bell rings.

Hanson: Look at that, Vinegar! James charges and plows down Peace and then follow up with a forearm to the head of War, sending him to the ground on the outside.

Vinegar: Not the best of tactics but it always seems to work in this federation and James picks up Peace and swings him into the corner where Cyanide is in idle. Cyanide with a punch to the back of the head knocks Peace into the middle of the ring and JAMES HITS A BIG BOOT!

Peterson: 1!

Peterson 2!

Peterson: #

Vinegar: War manages to springboard over the top rope and hit a leg drop to the head of James before the three was counted. Cyanide jumps into the ring and charges at War who counters it into a Hurricarana that knocks Cyanide through the middle rope.

Hanson: This isn’t a very conventional tag team match we have going on, Vinegar, and even I can acknowledge that.

Vinegar: James has recovered and about to go for a kick to the stomach of Peace who was on his hands and knees but War jumps onto his back and hits a high-level missile dropkick to the head of James who falls back onto the ropes.

Hanson: Stepping over anyone it takes to get ahead is the way I like to live life. Just like War just did.

Vinegar: James is almost unstoppable because he catches an attempted springboard flying cross body and turns it into a fall away slam. Peace recovering and goes for a spinning heel kick but James counters into a shoulder block that knocks Peace down to his back.

Hanson: Look at Peterson pushing War out of the ring after about two minutes of them attempting to double team James.

Vinegar: James pulling Peace onto his shoulder and about to go for a running powerslam but War trips him from beneath himself. You can almost tell that Peterson is about to reach the point to where he will DQ War and Peace if they do not stay at their own corners.

Hanson: Peterson pushing War back to his own corner but Cyanide outsmarts them both and slides in to hit a modified neckbreaker on Peace!

Vinegar: Wars sees this and charges at Cyanide! The both of them have just fallen through the middle rope that leaves James and Peace in the ring by themselves again.

Hanson: Wow. These teams are getting real intense about this situation.

Vinegar: James lifting up Peace who knocks him straight in the jaw! He follows up with an enziguri to the head of James! Peace against the ropes but James lifts him high into the air for a flapjack!

Hanson: You can tell that James is much more of a wrestler than Peace is by the fact that Peace is struggling to get the upperhand on James. Even though I can admit he had some close calls.

Vinegar: James is getting tired though and Cyanide is too busy on the outside of the ring fighting with War to tag himself in. Peace has been doing a good job of conserving his stamina but eventually he will need to tag back in.

Hanson: James will have the ability to take out Peace with his power moves and that should do it all.

Vinegar: WAR HAS BEEN RAN INTO THE BARRICADE! I think Peace sees this and jumps onto the top rope and flies off to land right on top of Cyanide!

Hanson: YES! Follow him to the outside, James, and beat the living snot out of him.

Vinegar: James charges at Peace with a big boot but Peace manages to dodge the boot! Peace runs along the railing and goes for a cross body but James catches him and throws him into the ring post!

Hanson: This match is almost all one way with glimpses of equality scattered throughout.

Vinegar: James tosses Peace back into the ring and starts to set up for an X-Marks the spot. He goes for it but Peace counters into a DDT! NO! Here comes Cyanide from the outside of the ring and goes for a double knee Neckbreak drop! PEACE COULD BE KNOCKED OUT!!!!

Hanson: YES! Peterson moving Cyanide to the outside of the ring so to even up the odds I guess even though none of it matters at this point. JAMES COVERS!

Peterson: 1!

Peterson: 2!

Peterson: KICK OUT!

Vinegar: Peace does not want to let this match escape from him or the tag titles will never be in his grasp. He has to fight back and find a way to overcome James and Cyanide!

Hanson: THAT’S RIGHT! Lift him back up James!

Vinegar: I think James is going for X-Marks the spot again!

Hanson: WATCH OUT! THERES WAR!

Vinegar: SO RIGHT HANSON! WAR WITH A KICK TO THE SIDE OF JAMES HEAD and PEACE COUNTERS INTO A BLACKOUT! Cyanide charges but War hooks his arm and throws him over the ropes as Peace covers James!

Peterson: 1!

Peterson: 2!

Peterson: 3!

Vinegar: WAR AND PEACE PICK UP THE WIN!

Hanson: NO! This means Cyanide and James can’t possibly win the titles!

[Lord Hastings]

Solomon’s entrance music hits as several monks walk out and line either side of the entranceway as they hold their torches aloft before soon enough with his head down, bible in his outstretched hands Solomon makes his way down to the ring

Dennis: From Rome, weighing in at 165 pounds he is ‘the revelation’ SOLOOOOOOOOOOOOMONNNNNNNNNNN

Hanson: God do we really have to put up with god-boy here.

Vinegar: Does he remind you that you’re going to hell Daniel?

Hanson: We’ll I’ll see you’re mother there!

Nicholas sits back in a stunned silence as Solomon enters the ring and ‘Super Rad’ blares over the audio system as in a single bound Captain Savior flies into the ring.

Dennis: And his opponent weighing in at 223 pounds he is Rjek’s superhero son CAAAAAAAAAAAAAPTAAAAAAAAAAAIN SAVIOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR..

Hanson: You know what I just realized Nick?

Vinegar:…………

Hanson: This match is going to be an absolute snooze fest, you’ve got two goddy-two-shoes going at it in a GIW ring this is a travesty, where’s our depraved maniac?

Vinegar: Someone like Gaffney or how about Marlo?

Hanson: You know on second thought’s this match isn’t so bad Nick, if only Savior would stop tussling his cape and running around in circles around the ring and Solomon would put that bible down, you think that bible would hurt upside yo head?

Vinegar: It’s a heavy bible.

Hanson: UPSIDE YO HEAD Nick that would kill you…………..ya twerp.

Vinegar: My partner’s immature boredom aside the two competitors of this match are currently sizing each other up.

Hanson: It’s a wrestling match not a weight guessing competition!

Vinegar: Happy?

Hanson: Well that combo DDT was a nice way for Solomon to start this match.

Vinegar: And possibly finish it, he’s going for the pin.


Hanson: But only a two count. WHERES YOUR GOD ON THAT ONE SOLO-MAN!

Vinegar: Sit-down.

Hanson: It’s my seat and I’ll sit when I want to sit.

Vinegar: Back in the ring meanwhile SOLOMON has got Savior by the ankles and just tossed him head over heels.

Hanson: You know Superman would have escaped that predicament.

Vinegar: Well GIW doesn’t have Superman, we have Captain Savior.

Hanson: I’d settle for the Green Lantern over the cap’n.

Vinegar: In the ring meanwhile, Solons laying into Savior with several stiff boots. Though Captain manages to roll away quickly getting to his feet and giving Solomon a thumps up, which seems to have bemused our religious warrior who just received a hurricanrana takedown.

Hanson: Is Rjek meant to be Reject?

Vinegar: What?

Hanson: Saviors home planet.

Vinegar: I don’t know; all I know is Solomon’s got back to his feet as Savior rushes at him with a missed clothesline attempt, Solomon doesn’t miss though with that Running STO.

Crowd: Boooooo!

Hanson: I agree boooo; this match needs some savagery.

Vinegar: What the hells Sean Cyanide doing coming down to the ring?

Hanson: He’s our god Nick and I’m sure he’s just coming down to the ring to pay a little close attention to some of his subjects. Shouldn’t you be paying attention to the in-ring action Nick; you are after all our play-by-play announcer.

Vinegar: Well Cyanides appearance has distracted Solomon and now I think we’re about to see Savior fly.

Hanson: Haha didn’t work out to well there, unless of course he planed to fly straight into the canvas.

Vinegar: Well Solomon did move out of the way!

Hanson: You sure ‘god’ didn’t move him out of the way.

Vinegar: How would I know Daniel and that doesn’t matter right now because Solomon’s going for that Crucifixion………

Hanson: And bam right on the back of Saviors head.

Vinegar: And here it is 1-2-3, Solomon’s got the win.

Hanson: And a hold of that bible he’s going to blast Savior with it.

Vinegar: What? He’s reading a verse from it as he kneels down.

Hanson: Well my take on the events was more exciting.

Solomon: This was dedicated to you father Renato.

Vinegar: Well what the hell’s Cyanide doing in the ring now?

Hanson: Cyanides a god Nick, and from where I’m standing Solomon seems to be praying to him.

Vinegar: Just because Cyanide the idiot that he is has slid into the ring and is standing before a praying Solomon in a Jesus crucifixion pose doesn’t make Sean a god.

Hanson: What about now?

Vinegar: What the hells Cyanide doing he’s just punted Solomon right in the head.

Hanson: Maybe Solomon read the wrong verse…………..or prayed to the wrong god.

Vinegar: Here comes Savior though to the rescue, attempting that Flying High of his……..

Hanson: But ‘the god of GIW’ moved and Savior took out Solomon just as he was getting to his feet.

Savior: Sorry Citizen.

Hanson: Sorry Savior but you just got leveled by the Cyanide Driver.

Vinegar: That was brutal

Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!

Hanson: Now Cyanides got a hold of that bible and waiting for Solomon to get back to his feet to recite another verse.

Vinegar: Recite another verse? Did he just cross his heart…………backwards?

Hanson: He did and now he’s just pelted Solomon across the face with that Christianity religion bible I guess bible class is over for today. Unless welts and bruise is apart of the Cyanide religion.

Cyanide: I’m the god around here Solomon, your praise is unto me Sean Cyanide!

[Lord Hastings]

(While the fans are still chattering and bustling about the hectic match that was Solomon vs. Savior, the fans are caught off guard by some heavy shit playing over the P.A, and as Soulfly's "Warmageddon" bleeds through the P.A, a heavy, purple light begins flashing over the crowd and entrance ramp and ring, instantly putting them on guard.)

Hanson: Ohh, I think this is that guy I keep hearing about...He was a serious threat in uCw, and now we have the pleasure of seeing this fellow work his magic on GIW!

Vinegar: I've heard about this man, too, and our own Chassie Fear seems to be wary of him. Furthermore, I don't think I quite know why this man is wrestling in place of Chip Masters...

Hanson: Pff, Chassie Fear would be wary of Obese Tony. I don't think we need to worry about what she's afraid of. As to Chip, the man's a professor at a University! He needs to reach those kids, at all costs, and personally I think it's quite noble of the man.

DENNIS: THIS MATCH IS ROUND 2 OF THE TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT FOR THE GIW TAG TITLES! INTRODUCING FIRST, CHIP MASTER'S SUBSTITUTE FOR THIS MATCH! ACCOMPANIED BY NYX, FROM NORTHERN IRELAND AND WEIGHING IN AT 252 POUNDS...RAENUS!!!

(The fans aren't quite sure how to react as Raenius creeps out, kabuki mask hiding any emotion, some children who have seats along the ramp begin crying. Raenius slightly turns his head at this, but doesn't stop, merely going on a bit quicker past them, leaping up on to the apron and pulling himself up from his knees. This whole time Nyx has been following slightly behind, smirking at the man, arms crossed somewhat coldly. He seems to be glaring at the murmuring crowd, before climbing into the ring. He doesn't take off his uCw shirt just yet, as Korn's "Divine" cuts off his music. The fans instantly begin booing, although some in the crowd will always cheer the badguy. The spotlight crackles on, and is aimed at the entrance.)

DENNIS: AND HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER FOR THIS MATCH! CURRENTLY RESIDING IN DEEP ELLUM, TEXAS, WEIGHING IN AT 385 POUNDS, HE IS 'THE MONSTER', DREDD!!!!

Vinegar: In recent weeks this man has shown a savage will to compete and serious skill in the ring against a number of opponents, and you have to wonder if this man might under estimate his opponent..s...here in this match!

Hanson: Yeah, if I was Dredd I wouldn't put it past Savana to start biting my neck or give me rabies or something...Hopefully there are some tranqs under that ring tonight-OH (BLEEP!)

Vinegar: *sigh*

(Hanson curses in fright at the pyros which go off suddenly, trailing down to the ring. This signals the appearance of The Monster, as the lights finally gasp into existence, even as Dredd calmly makes his way to the ring, before climbing into the ring and crossing his arms, talking with Raenius in there corner, and they completely ignore the cheering crowds as they get on their feet for Smashing Pumpkins.)

THE WORLD IS A VAMPIRE!
SET, TO DRAI-IN!
SECRET DESTROYER!
HOLD A MOTH UP TO THE FLAME!

(Savana slips into sight, a crazy grin on his face, even as he lugs that mirror around, eyes glaring madly at the screaming people.)

DENNIS: AND...THEIR...OPPONENT..S? FROM HOUSTON, TEXAS, AND...HOUSTON TEXAS, AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF 488 POUNDS, IN THEORY....ANDY SAVAAAANA! UHRM, AND, UHH, RIBZ.

Hanson: And that loon Savana having everyone fooled...if only they knew he ain't lovable like Rain Man! The man's a psychopath who revels in breaking bones! I don't know why he's even here!

Vinegar: Really? You don't wanna re-think that statement, or make sure you aren't talking yourself into a trap or something?

Hanson: Why?

(While Hanson and Vinegar chatter, Savana slides into the ring, and carefully props that mirror against the opposite corner as Dredd and Raenius, and cracks his neck, looking at his reflection, slightly mumbling something to himself. This whole time Dredd and Raenius just talking amongst themselves, not even noticing as Savana steps forward, grin wide on his face, rubbing his hands together.)

Hanson: Wait a second, wait a second, he's just standing there...oh look, Raenius seems to be pointing behind Dredd, and I think they are discussing who goes in first. Dredd I think is offering, and Raenius nods amicably, stepping between those ropes...

Vinegar: And Dredd locking up with Savana...despite Savana's smaller weight and size, it appears to be a struggle for both men, Savana with a knee to the stomach, Dredd breaking away, hard right hand, flooring Savana!

Hanson: But that psycho, fueled with retard memories of his parents locking him in a shed and feeding him biscuits and mustard, just springs right back to his feet, Headbutt to Dredd, and just pushes him hard into his corner!

Vinegar: Why don't we leave the biography writing to the professionals, Hanson? Raenius appears to be offering to tag in, but Dredd shakes his head, clearly nowhere near discouraged...Locking up again, but this time it's Dredd with a knee to the midsection, spins around, GRABS SAVANA IN A FULL NELSON! JESUS, SAVANA WAS HURLED INTO THE HEAVENS, AND HIS NECK COMES BACK DOWN ACROSS THE ROPE! JESUS, HE TUMBLES, HITS HIS FACE ON THE APRON, AND IS INCHES BEFORE THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! LOOK AT THE AGONY-NO! HE IS LAUGHING, SLOWLY GETTING TO HIS KNEES! THIS MAN IS A MADMAN!

Hanson: And the delicious little morsel Nyx is somewhat amazed at this inbred's resilience, keeping her distance. Ohh, but look at this, Dredd's hurt from that...looks like his shoulder is dislocated, ohh that's gross...he walks over to his turnbuckle, OHH THAT'S SICK! HE JUST POPPED IT BACK IN PLACE! And he tags in Raenius!

Vinegar: And the GiW newcommer whips off his shirt, striding across the ring and rolls down, near Savana's feet, AND BEGINS HITTING HAYMAKERS TO THE SKULL OF SAVANA! EACH SHOT FLOORING THE MAN, BUT HE JUST COMES BACK UP FOR MORE!

Hanson: But this guy doesn't appear to be getting spooked like Dylan James or Jensen, he's just laying more into that pill-popping crazy! AND A TOE KICK, HE'S GRABBING SAVANA'S HEAD! KLOON! HA HA!

Vinegar: I had a feeling it would be too much to ask for a clean match! That masked brute just rammed Savana face first into that ring post, and now he just whipped a busted open Savana chest-first into the security fence! Savana looks to be in pain, but he just turns around, slowly...

Hanson: And here goes Raenius, he looks to be trying for a Death Valley Driver-ARGH!

Vinegar: But Savana out of nowhere lands a clothesline into Raenius, landing the Irishman on his back! And Peterson counting to 6 at this point!

Hanson: Quite a slow count, you hack! And look at this, Savana's got Raenius on HIS shoulders-HA HA! YES!

Vinegar: And Raenius reverses it into an improvised Tornado DDT, right there on the concrete! And he sees Peterson counting to eight, Grabs Savana by the waist of his wrestling gear, throws him into the ring, and then DRAGS HIM BACK OUT, LANDING HIM FACE FIRST ON THE CONCRETE AGAIN! HE WANTS THIS KEPT OUTSIDE!

Hanson: And that's one hell of a way to do it, too...OH NO! DQ HIM, PETERSON!

Vinegar: From where our referee is standing, he can't see Savana essentially horsekick Raenius right to the groin! And that seemed to slow down Raenius, long enough for Savana to spring to his feet and BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX RAENIUS RIGHT ACROSS THE CONCRETE! THE MASKED MAN ROLLS LIKE A RAGDOLL BUT STILL MANAGES TO GET TO HIS FEET, JUST IN TIME TO EAT A SHOULDER BLOCK! AND SAVANA GRINNING AT THE AUDIENCE, DOESN'T CATCH DREDD CHARGING WITH A RUNNING BOOT TO THE TEMPLE! AND SAVANA FLIPS OVER THE SECURITY FENCE, INTO THE LAPS OF SOME SURPRISED COLLEGE STUDENTS!

Hanson: Jeez! And Dredd helping Raenius to his feet, who slides into the ring, before going back outside, before Peterson can count up to nine...Damn, these guys aren't even thinking about the ring right now! And Dredd grabbing Savana by the hair, just flips him back over to the concrete! Ha ha! AND LOOK AT THIS! YES!

Vinegar: Those cheerleaders up on the ramp making it out here, despite Chip not being out here, and are currently wearing Raenius-esque facepaint right now, cheering on their hero's tag partner and temporary replacement! And all this time Raenius and Dredd have stood up Savana...and DREDD WITH A HAYMAKER!

Hanson: POW!

Vinegar: SAVANA TURNING AROUND FROM THAT, AND GETS HIT WITH A DOUBLE AXE HANDLE FROM RAENIUS!

Hanson: WHAM!

Vinegar: THIS TURNS SAVANA AROUND INTO AN UPPERCUT FROM DREDD!

Hanson: BIF!

Vinegar: SAVANA STAGGERS BACK, AND GETS AN ELBOW TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD BY RAENIUS!

Hanson: BAMF!

Vinegar: WRONG SOUND EFFECT, HANSON! SAVANA JUST GETTING CLOBBERED BY THESE TWO MEN-BUT HE FIGHTS BACK! BIG BOOT DROPS RAENIUS, DREDD TRIES FOR A DRAGON SLEEPER-BUT JUST GETS FLIPPED AND THROWN HEAD AND SHOULDERS FIRST INTO THOSE STEEL STEPS, WHICH GO EXPLODING INTO THE AIR FROM THE IMPACT!

Hanson: Jesus!

Vinegar: Those fans are lucky they were quick on their feet, those steps just landed with authority unto their empty chairs! Security holding them back, as they are going nuts right now!

Hanson: Don't be fooled!

Vinegar: They aren't listening to you! Forehead dripping with blood, Savana looks around, and spins around, HAND AROUND HIS THROAT! RAENIUS TRYING A CHOKESLAM-NO! SAVANA WITH A TOE KICK, GRABS RAENIUS BY HIS HAIR AND PANTS, AND CHUCKS HIM INTO THE RING! NYX IS SCREAMING SUPPORT FOR RAENIUS, SLAPPING THE MAT, AS HE STAGGERS TO HIS KNEES-ENZIGURI! RAENIUS IS BACK DOWN, FACE ON THE MAT, FISTS CLENCHED! NO!

Hanson: And Savana made a mistake assuming Dredd would be permanently down from his meeting with the ring steps. Dredd grabbing Savana, and chucks him back out the ring! Ha ha, and Raenius is following! Man, these guys are tough as hell!

Vinegar: Yeah, and they are showing all the sportsmanship of our current Vice President right now! Savana climbing to the turnbuckle, and DREDD CLUTCHING THE THROAT OF SAVANA! NO DICE, SAVANA CLUBS DREDD WITH AN ELBOW TO THE TEMPLE!

Hanson: Oh, this is terrible! BUT RAENIUS WITH A HAND ACROSS SAVANA'S NECK! NO!

Vinegar: NO, SAVANA FIGHTS RAENIUS WITH A JAB, HE IS FIGHTING BOTH MEN ON THE RING APRON HERE! BUT OH NO!! BOTH MEN CLUTCHING HIS THROAT NOW!! AND THEY LIFT HIM UP!!!

Hanson: HA HA! DOUBLE CHOKESLAM, SENDING SAVANA DOWN ON TO THAT CONCRETE AGAIN!!! GOD THAT'S A GREAT MOVE!!

Vinegar: And Jesus, Savana doesn't appear to be moving! Raenius grabbing the man, and rolls him into the ring...climbs in himself...and tags in Dredd!

Hanson: And The Monster is picking up that beaten loony, and whips him hard, into the turnbuckle! Dredd aiming it just right, and then RUNS, AND CHARGES! BOO YA, HITS SAVANA WITH THAT AVALANCHE OF HIS!

Vinegar: And Savana all of a sudden looks to be finally realizing the damage that's been inflicted on him! Where as before he kept getting up, now he's hanging from the turnbuckle, like he's dead! But that isn't stopping Dredd from propping him up on the turnbuckle...Oh no! What's he doing now?!

Hanson: EXACTLY WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO, NICK! AND HE HITS THAT CONCRETE PILEDRIVER!!!! HITS 'EM SO HARD, SAVANA ROLLS INTO A SITTING POSITION, COMPLETELY F(BLEEP)ING OUT OF IT!

Vinegar: And Dredd looking at Savana, beginning to stagger to his knees, wiping the sweat from his brow, then over at Raenius! He offers to tag in Raenius, and the masked man dips his head forward in agreement! RAENIUS IS TAGGED IN! AND NOW HE IS CROUCHING, STALKING THE UNKNOWING SAVANA! THIS IS BAD!

Hanson: And Savana finally turning around, and RAENIUS GALLOPING LIKE A HORSE RUNNING FROM A GLUE FACTORY!

Vinegar: HE HITS THE FULL FRONTAL! HITS IT SO HARD THEY BOTH GO CHARGING INTO THAT MIRROR OF SAVANA'S SHATTERING IT INTO DUST EVEN AS SAVANA IS WRACKED WITH PAIN! BUT RAENIUS ISN'T DONE! DRAGS SAVANA MORE TO THE CENTER OF THE RING...STANDS HIM UP!

Hanson: AND GETS HIM IN RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP POSITION! HITS THE RIPPERSNAPPER, SMASHING THAT BLOODY FACE INTO THE CANVAS!!!

Vinegar: AND HE FLIPS SAVANA OVER, ABOUT TO PIN, BUT OFFERS IT TO DREDD WHILE STILL ON HIS KNEES WHILE NYX CHUCKLES. DREDD SHAKES HIS HEAD, GESTURING TO RAENIUS TO TAKE IT, AND RAENIUS OBLIGES, HOOKING THAT LEG! OH, WHAT GENTLEMEN, INDEED!

Peterson:

ONE!

TWO!

THREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! IT'S OVER!

Hanson: Ha ha, and Dredd and his temporary buddy Raenius picking up the victory! And look at this, Dredd grabbing the ice cooler from his corner, slipping into the ring, tosses his partner a beer!

(Raenius slips his mask further up his face and downs half the brew before tossing it to Nyx, now in the ring, who takes a small, ladylike sip, before tossing it back to Raenius. They all celebrate and walk further up the ramp, downing maybe 10 cans between them all, even as Savana struggles to his feet, completely out of it, blood pouring freely, and shards of glass stuck in his body at points.)

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Well ladies and gentlemen it’s that time again.

Hanson: Multi-women action at it’s finest! Not just cause that goddess Gabrielle is here either!

Vinegar: Yep, that time again. Let me just put on my rain slicker incase my partner Daniel gets a little too carried away, and we’ll send it to Mitchell Dennis.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is a triple threat womens match! Introducing first standing five foot four inches weighting in at 120 pounds this is Chassie Lynn Fear!

‘Syanide Sweet Tooth Suicide’ by Shinedown kicks in as the lights din and give way to alternating red and white strobes. Chassie confidently marches to the entrance ramp, scans the crowd of cheering fans, and sprints to the ring.

Vinegar: Chassie’s had a run of bad luck some would say in the GIW.

Hanson: Yeah her name is Gabby! Maybe if she showed a little more skin though,

Vinegar: Absurd, to suggest Chassie would win if she disrobed?

Hanson: What? We’ve seen plenty of all these ladies in the ring. Maybe a fresh view or face would do the division good! Boost some confidence.

Chassie reaches the ring still in stride, leaps placing one foot on the apron, grabs the top rope, flips over into the ring, hops on the closest turnbuckle, and throws the sign of the beast at the fans who eat it up.

Dennis: Standing five foot eight inches weighting 138 pounds this is the Mistress of Pain, this is Calypso!

The fans produce a mixed reaction as ‘Haunted’ by Evanescence takes over the PA system. Calypso slithers onto the ramp, devilishly smiles at the crowd, stands, and slowly walks to the ring.

Hanson: See another one who’d do well to show some skin!

Vinegar: These are well trained, highly disciplined, extremely motivated competitors!

Hanson: Yeah, well, whatever. One them, just one for now, of the female roster needs to give it up. Lose some inhibition, and show some damn flesh. That’s all I’m saying.

Vinegar: Well maybe you should say it a bit louder. Say it so they can hear you.

Hanson: What are you crazy? They’d kick my ass, homie. And not in the good ‘I’d pay damn good money for’ way either.

Calypso slinks into the ring locking eyes with Chassie who simply returns the glare as she stretches in the corner.

Dennis: And their opponent standing five foot six inches she is the GIW Womens Champion, this is Gabrielle Madison Montgomery!

No sooner does ‘Envy’ by KHZ begin does it get drowned out by the chores of boos from the fans. The normal lighting shifts to purple and gold as Gabrielle struts out from behind the curtains wearing an elegant flowing robe. She does a quick twirl before unfastening the Womens title belt from her waists, slings it over her shoulder, and attempts to navigate the aisle way while not letting the fans get to close.

Hanson: And speaking of skin!!

Vinegar: Good thing I got on my slicker huh?

Hanson: Dude, you virgin. Fine ass like that you should be trying to get out of your clothes not put on more. Didn’t you see the Severino piece this week!

Vinegar: Of course I saw it, and to objectify the woman he claims to…

Hanson: Shut up I’m picturing the promo again, and you’re ruining it! Fuck it’s gone. How was it? I unfortunately skipped to the part where our Caramel Goddess steps out of the shower, then still framed it for an afternoon.

Vinegar: I can’t believe they pay you more than me!

Hanson: Believe it sucky! I pull more ‘tang too!

Gabrielle slowly ascends the ring steps before calling over Hazel East to open the ropes for her. Hazel looks like she’s about to burst into laughter before Gabrielle insists. Hazel shakes her head, steps on the bottom rope while pulling up the middle rope, and asks Gabrielle to enter. She adjusts her robe, squats down, and enters the ring.

Hanson: Perfection.

Vinegar: HUGE RUNNING CLOTHSLINE BY FEAR SENDS GABBY RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE, AND CRASHING TO THE FLOOR!

Hanson: What the hell is wrong with her!

Vinegar: Calypso taking the cue, and Chassie and the Witch Women are exchanging rights! This match is underway!

Hanson: This match should be over! You can’t just manhandle Ms. Montgomery! Emmm, manhandle Ms. Montgomeryyyy.

Vinegar: Calypso catches that right by Chassie HUGE ARMTRAP NECKBREAKER!

Hanson: Damn right! See if that psycho knows you touch Gabby, and you gotta pay!

Vinegar: Yeah, well Calypso going to top, measuring up Fear, NO SHE LEAPS AT MONTGOMERY!

Hanson: Stupid move, she should have stuck to taking care of Gabrielles light work, cause she just ate that guardrail! Gabby moves, and really who didn’t see that coming?

Vinegar: Well East starting the count now as Gabrielle lays in the boots.

Hanson: Damnit Calypso screwed it all up. Now Gabrielle is going to glow all over that beautiful robe. I mean she hasn’t even taken it off yet?

Vinegar: Glow?

Hanson: Damn man don’t you have any upbringing? Horses sweat, women glow, so maybe your right and the Diamond Princess sparkles. She’s going to sparkle all over that robe.

East: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…

Vinegar: They pay you how much? Never mind, slingshot cross body by Fear brakes the count, and takes out both Calypso and Gabrielle!

Hanson: Wrong side of the ring! If you told me this morning that I’d see Chassie, Calypso, and Gabby rolling around on the floor I would have told you as long as I could watch I’d be a happy man! But damnit they’re on the wrong side of the screen!

Vinegar: Well why don’t you shut up, and I’ll call the action then. Fear back to her feet, and gives a courtesy stomp to both ladies, and now what’s she doing? She’s moving the ring steps, I think she’s setting up for something.

Hanson: Should be setting up for a disqualification! Stomping on the Womens Champion like that, what’s wrong with Hazel for allowing this!

Vinegar: Actually I think it’s great East is allowing these competitors to compete instead starting another count.

Hanson: You know what I make more so I’m right!

Vinegar: Fear pulling Montgomery up by her hair now,

Hanson: Damnit, the only looker in this match! She’s more jealous than DJS of Gabby!

Vinegar: And sends her hard face first into that guardrail before forcing her back into the ring under the bottom rope!

Hanson: Good, I think Gabby needs some help. She might need chest compressions, should I go check?

Vinegar: No you shouldn’t. Chassie turning her attention to Calypso who sends a series of hard rights into Fears midsection. Calypso fighting back, she’s to a knee, she just, well she just sent a low blow to Fear!

Hanson: Wait can women get low blowed?

Vinegar: I would have thought with all your experience you’d know that the pelvic bone and a hole plethora of nerve ending are in a woman’s low blow region.

Hanson: Of course I do, it was just a test for you.

Vinegar: Well Calypso back up, ducks a spinning savate kick from Fear, and goes for a huge back body drop!

Hanson: Good break Chassie, and bring me a MILF!

Vinegar: Fear lands on her feet, Calypso turns around, PELE KICK OUT OF NO WHERE!

Hanson: Pele was a soccer player, not a MILF!

Vinegar: You really need to watch at least one wrestling match, and for the love of god leave these athletes family out it.

Hanson: Whatever, I make more than you so I can say whatever the hell I want! Besides tell me I’m wrong. Just look at Gabby watching this on the outside. That’s talent, let the low lives kill them self, then make the easy cover.

Vinegar: Calypso back to a knees, Fear tying her up, ANGELS WINGS ON THOSE RING STEPS!

Hanson: Angels? I see bitches, hoes, and the perfect female form. No angels.

Vinegar: Well that perfect female form has had enough, she’s on the outside, Chassie standing back up, Gabby has a handful of hair, and sends her straight into the ring post!

Hanson: Ha I told you! Pick up the easy win after they blew their load!

Vinegar: Gabrielle rolling Fear back into the ring, and backs her into a corner. Now just unloading with those forearm shots.

Hanson: Make her pay! Man is me or are those forearm shots making Chassie even uglier.

Vinegar: Oh boy.

Hanson: No, no, I got it it’s being in the same frame as Gabrielle!

Vinegar: East warning Gabby about being in the corner, Gabby breaks away stopping her count, then right back to the attack!

Hanson: That’s why she’s champion! Relentless, talented, gorgeous!

Vinegar: Gabby pulling Fear up, sits her on the top turn buckle, this could be high risk!

Hanson: High risk is a phrase for losers! When you’re Gabrielle Madison Montgomery and never lose there’s never risk

Vinegar: Montgomery going for a top rope hurricanrana, Fear shrugs her off, Gabby lands on her feet, Fear stands, shoots for a phoenix dragonconrana, the champion steps forward and clear, and then sends a hard dropkick to the spine of Chassie Fear!

Hanson: See, see, never a risk!

Vinegar: Gabby back up and seems to be sizing up the downed Fear. No she turns her attention to Calypso. Desmona seems to be getting up, Gabrielle steps to the apron, this can’t be good for the Witch Woman!

Hanson: Fun to watch though, watch, shut up and just watch!

Vinegar: Montgomery waiting for Calypso, waiting for the right moment, FEAR BACK UP AND A HARD RUNNING KNEE TO THE BACK OF GABBY’S HEAD!

Hanson: Bullshit! Doesn’t she know her place, can’t she just let me watch Gabby?

Vinegar: Montgomery keeps hold of the top rope though, and Fear tying her up in the ring ropes!

Hanson: Motherfucker, wrong side! Damnit there she is arms all spread wide and shit, and facing the fans?!? What about me!?

Vinegar: Fear steps through the ropes, what’s she planning?

Hanson: I have no idea, but I’m sure it won’t be as good as whatever Gabby was going to do to Calypso!

Vinegar: Fear laying the bad mouth on Montgomery, grabs her by the legs, flips her over the top rope back into the ring, Gabby’s head now between the top and second rope, and A HARD STRAIGHT KICK TO THE MOUTH FROM FEAR!!

Hanson: My god doesn’t that twat know about Gabby’s magazine endorsements? Gabrielle’s lip is busted wide open, this could cost her millions!

Vinegar: Gabrielle staggered, Fear re-entering the ring, GABUSTER OUT OF NO WHERE AND FEAR’S ON THE MAT!

Hanson: AYE, look at poor Gabby, she’s dazed, wounded, her lips all bloody, maybe I should go kiss it make it feel better?

Vinegar: Montgomery backs into to corner, trying to compose herself, and Calypso back up drags Fear to the outside and dumps her to the concrete padding. The back of Chassie’s head hit hard!

Hanson: There’s no worse curse than what’s already happened to Gabrielle.

Vinegar: Well Calypso thinks otherwise! She runs across the ring, jumps, monkey flip coming up, NO GABBY MOVES AND CALYPSO IS LEFT PERCHED ON THE TURNBUCKLE!

Hanson: That’s a true champion right there! I bet if Kiseragi or BoolZ was bleeding like Gabrielle they’d submit right then!

Vinegar: They pay you how much? Gabby backing up to Calypso, she’s got her on her shoulder, 34 Double D DDT, and that plants Calypso in the center of the ring!

Hanson: A lot more than you, and it’s because I believe in true champions like Gabrielle Madison Hanso… I mean Montgomery! Here’s the cover!

East: 1!

Vinegar: Fear back to her feet!

East: 2!!

Hanson: If that bitch ruins this match again I swear to god.

Vinegar: Fear’s back in the ring, she dives, and crushes Montgomery with that elbow!

East: 3!!!

Hanson: What! No to late! Ha ha ha, TO LATE!

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner, Gabrielle Madison Montgoommeerryyyyy!!!

The fans instantly register their disapproval with a barrage of boos as Gabrielle wastes no time in sliding out of the ring covering her face as best she can, and runs to the back.

Hanson: That poor women, I should go check on her.

Vinegar: Well I can’t say I wouldn’t want you to leave. This was a hard fought match folks, and neither of these two women in the ring still should have anything to be ashamed of.

[Lord Hastings]

“Crimson Ghost” by The Misfits starts to play over the arena PA.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, accompanied by Chinatsu Chen, The CRIIIIMSON GHOOOOST!

The lights black out, then strobe with a red tint at roughly 4 beats per second. Then the chorus to Crimson Ghost kicks in-NEVER GONNA CATCH ME NEVER GONNA CATCH ME NEVER GONNA CATCH ME I'M THE CRIMSON GHOOOST!!!-, and Crimson Ghost runs out, running down the ramp and completely around the ring, highfiving everyone on the way. Chen on the other hand walks timidly down the ramp waving towards the fans.

Hanson: Ahhhh, I’ve been looking forward to this match for some time now, finally that masked sex offender is gonna get his comeuppance.

Vinegar: Sex Offender? How haven’t you been sued for libel yet?

Hanson: Oh come on! Why else would the guy be so strict about wearing that mask? Because he’s on a list, a Sex Offenders register, that’s why! Jesus Christ….get away from me you revolting man…

The Ghost has made his way to the commentary table, and is doing some strange crotch dance in Daniel Hanson’s face, whilst ruffling his hair, and just generally annoying him.

Hanson: Help me Nick, this goddamn freak is trying to grape my face!

Vinegar: After what you just said about him, you should hardly be surprised.

Chinatsu makes her way over to the commentary table, and persuades Ghost to leave Daniel alone and make his way to the ring, as she ushers her mentor into the ring, she turns back towards Daniel offering him a gentle smile as an apology...

Hanson: At least someone was willing to help me, even his damn student realises he’s a top level freak...

“The Air That I Breathe” starts to play.

Dennis: And his opponent, accompanied by the lovely Cara Costello, he is the Owner of Global Impact Wrestling, he is the Significant Player, ladies and gentlemen, he is DECLAAAAAAAN PRESCOOOOOOTT!!!!

The Heart and Soul of GIW enters the stage, usually hand in hand with Cara, and stares around the arena for several moments. He then takes a step forward and breaks away from Cara, raising his arms in the air ala Randy Orton. He then wraps one arm around Cara’s waist and they both proceed down the ramp, interacting with the fans as they go.

The two enter the ring via the steps. Declan climbs the turnbuckle and taunts to the crowd, while Cara applauds him. Cara then exits the ring, as he continues taunting to the crowd or opponent, depending on whether they have entered the arena or not.

Vinegar: I take it, seeing as Ghost is in the ring, Declan is taunting him, rather than the crowd?

Hanson: Don’t be facetious in the presence of GIW’s greatest superstar...

Vinegar: I can’t even remember the last time the guy was even in the ring in a Singles Match.

Hanson: Well he’s back now, and he’s gonna finally teach that Ghost a lesson or two. After his disgraceful behaviour at Distant Whispers, with that elixir and humiliating Donovan Hastings that way, I’m looking forward to the Significant Player giving him what he deserves.

Vinegar: It’s still a rare treat to see our owner actually involve himself in the ring for a change, rather than hiding in his office. Thought he was ‘concentrating on business matters’?

Hanson: Well after Travis Roberts failed to keep hold of that Global Heavyweight Championship that Declan so graciously offered up on a plate to him, The Heart and Soul of GIW was left with no choice but to return to active competition. There is no-one out there he can trust to keep these ingrates in check and ensure that the right type of Champion rules over this company.

Vinegar: I’m by no means The Blessed One’s biggest fan, but even I can see he gave everything in that match, and had Declan’s foul plan not been interrupted The Revolution would still be sailing in comfortable waters. But I’m not shocked, it’s only ever been a matter of time before Declan Prescott dropped The Headliner like Marlo’s ass with ultra supportive underwear...

Hanson: I can’t believe this isn’t a Peterson Sucks match, I mean come on, the guy is obviously aligned with that Masked freak.

Vinegar: Despite everything that has passed over the last couple of months, despite your feelings towards Owen Peterson, I am sure he’ll call this right down the middle.

Hanson: He just better remember who his perverted friend is facing tonight, the OWNER of GIW. If he tries any of his usual antics that’ll be the end of his career...

Vinegar: Well we’ll find out as it looks like these guys are ready to go at it...look at that! How insulting, Declan just waved at Chinatsu and then blew a kiss at the woman he assaulted last month...

Hanson: Chinatsu will be more than happy just being recognised by our genius owner, I’m sure she regrets not taking his help last week, having seven days to think will help put things into perspective. I’m sure she’s just relived he even has the good grace to look at her.

Vinegar: Please! Anyway the bell has rung and this match is underway, and straight off the bat The Ghost signals for a test of strength, Declan looks at him with a smirk, and accepts the offer. Both men now clasp each others hands...

Hanson; And The Ghost with three...no...four swift, hard knee’s to The Significant Players groing...come on...and now he’s apologising to Peterson that his foot slipped....thats despicable behaviour, but it proves Peterson is gonna let Ghost get away with anything he wants tonight...this is gonna be a travesty...

Vinegar: I suppose it would be different if Ghost decided to bring a crowbar into play? Anyway, Ghost turns back to Prescott and launches a viscious right hand at the owner of GIW, sending him staggering backwards somewhat, and then hitting him with a standing dropkick that sends him over the ropes and to the outside...and here comes the Cavalry....Travis Roberts is making his way down to ringside...but Declan see’s him and turns his back, climbing back in the ring...Cara Costello makes her way towards Travis, and she’s telling him to go to the back, that this is neither the time or the place....Travis seems to eb arguing with her, but has finally succumbed, drops his head and makes his way backstage...

Hanson: Declan doesn’t need that washed up old has-been’s help, and he proves it by levelling the distracted Ghost with a clothesline, and then he drops quickly with an elbow to The Ghost’s skull. He then stands and gives Chen a little wink, before stomping away at her mentor...

Vinegar: but Ghost anticipates the second stomp, and manages to grab hold of DP’s leg and twist him to the ground, and now he has a leg lock locked in...

Hanson: But Prescott is able to reach the ropes with ease...but Ghost won’t let go...c’mon ref....that was easily more than a five count, but I guess that’s what we’ve come to expect from Owen Peterson, I’d be surprised if he could actually count to five without visual aids.

Vinegar: Prescott climbs to his feet...meets a boot to the midsection, Ghost then runs the ropes come back for BLOODY HELL...NO! It’s a fake out, and The Ghost slides, then gets back on his feet and gives athumbs up to the crowd...and one of those thumbs ‘accidently’ slips into Declan’s eye...

Hanson: Oh and now he’s pretending to apologise to Owen Peterson, whilst The Heart and Soul of GIW clutches at his eye...that freak could have blinded him...how did Peterson ever get a job as a referee...

Vinegar: I thought Declan oversaw all hiring’s in GIW? But he didn’t see that shuffle side kick from the Ghost which sends our boss, staggering sideways...and Ghost rubns at him...

Hanson: But Prescott sidesteps and hits the Ghost with a hip toss, and takes a few more moments to ensure his eye is in full working condition, he turns as Ghost gets to his feet...and grabs the Masked Paedophile and hits him with a massive Spinebuster!

Vinegar: Prescott going to work on the downed Ghost now, and drags him to his feet and whips him against the ropes...only for the Ghost to slide, and rise behind Prescott and hits him with a Chickenwing Backdrop! Both men now on the floor but it seems the Ghost is getting up first...he see’s Declan get to his feet...and Ghost jumps to the top rope...CHILL, HOMBRE!!! He hits that spinning hurricanrana, and Prescott goes down...Ghost makes the cover...1...2...NO!

Hanson: C’mon boss, teach this ass a lesson...

Vinegar: He’s still groggy so I doubt that’s gonna happen anytime soon...Well it looks like this match could be coming to an end, Ghost has just signalled for Seeing Red to his fans....but wait...what’s this....Cara Costello has climbed to the canvas and she is wiggling her behind towards Ghost, and calling him over with one finger...oh don’t be sucked in by this Ghost....Peterson goes to tell her to remove herself from the canvas, but Ghost informs him that it’s OK, and makes his way over to the boss’ wife...and what a surprise! She slaps him square on the right cheek...

Hanson: But look at the pervert, he’s now clutching the cheek....he gets off on that kinda shit! Prescott is up though, and spins the distracted Ghost around...SIGNIFICANT IMPACT!!!....1...2....3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, via Pinfall....DEEEECLAAAAAN PREEEEEESCOOOOOOOOTT!!!!!!!!

Vinegar: Well Ghost has only himself to blame for this defeat, he was in control but he fell for the oldest trick in the book, and Chen now has a few words for cara Costello, who merely smirks at Chen, pushes her away...pressing her palm against that damaged forehead....what an insult!

Hanson: And Declan Prescott makes a successful return to the ring, and I never doubted he’d win...

Vinegar: I never doubted he’d cheat...

Hanson: You said yourself that was the Crimson Jokes own fault...Declan Prescott proves once again why he is so far superior to the rest of the pond life in this company!

Vinegar: Because he cheats?

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Announcer Mitchell Dennis is in the ring and it looks like we’re ready to get this next match underway.

Diamond in the Rough hit’s the speakers and the lights go down. One by one the spotlights light up and fall on the back of Jack Severino. He stands for a moment before spinning around, arms spread wide. As the lights start to come up he swaggers and flexes his way down to the ring.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Christchruch New Zealand, weighing in at 280 pounds, the Diamond in the Rough, Jack Severinooooooooooo!!!

Jack gets down to the ring and climbs up the ring steps and walks along one edge of the ring, looking out into the crowd before turning back to climb in between the middle and top ropes. A few seconds later his music cuts out to be replaced by the sound of a red bull can being opened and a zippo lighter being flicked, followed by Wonder What’s Next by Chevelle. Randy Boolzian appears at the top of the ramp and makes his way down to the ring with his usual drink and smoke.

Dennis: Introducing the opponent, from Oceanside California, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is your GiW Hardcore Champion! The Red Bull Icon, Randy Boolziaaaaan!!!

Vinegar: There’s our Hardcore champion, you’ve got to wonder if he’s fully focussed on this match now that Horizon’s seems a whole lot closer.

Hanson: That’s right…

Vinegar: Wait…what?

Hanson: I agreed with you.

Vinegar: …Ok, don’t do that. It creeps me out.

Boolz climbs up the ring steps and into the ring, waving to the crowd and quickly finishing off his drink and passing the belt to Vick Ace outside the ring.

Vinegar: There’s the bell and we’re ready to go. Collar and elbow lock up goes straight into a side headlock from Diamond Jack. Spins round him and drops Boolz down with a double leg takedown and back to the Headlock on the ground.

Hanson: Yeah, he’s grinding him down. I bet Boolz isn’t feeling so sure of himself now.

Vinegar: I wouldn’t count on it, it’s a little early to be making judgements. Boolz fights up to his feet and throws Severino off towards the ropes but the big guy comes back with a stiff shoulder block.

Hanson: That’s the power game that that junkie can’t match.

Vinegar: No but there’s more to it then brute force. Jack Severino runs off the ropes and Boolz rolls over towards him. Step over, leapfrog from Boolz and then a hard dropkick knocks Severino onto his back.

Hanson: Meh

Vinegar: Thanks for contributing. Boolz dragging Jack back up but rolls him back down with a snapmare, into a hard kick to the back and a low dropkick to the head. Cover attempt.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Just a two count.

Hanson: You can’t pin a superstar like Diamond Jack that easy. Boolz is an idiot.

Vinegar: It all helps to wear an opponent down and Boolz runs towards the ropes again.

Hanson: But Jack caught his foot and he falls on his face while DJS dives back into the grounded headlock.

Vinegar: Unorthodox counter and again Boolz fights up to his feet but Jack brings him back down with a headlock takeover. Good strategy by Jack trying to keep this one grounded.

Hanson: I agree.

Vinegar: I told you not to do that. Boolz fights up again but goes down to a quick fireman’s carry and straight into a reverse chin lock.

Hanson: Think it’s time to start calling this one yet?

Vinegar: Not at all, it’s never over until the bells gone and you can never count out the Red Bull Icon. He’s forcing himself up again and breaks the hold, arm wrench into a short arm clothesline. Runs off the ropes and drops a snap elbow. Starting to build some momentum here.

Hanson: Jack getting back up though--
Vinegar: Only to catch a running neck breaker. Boolz headed up to the top rope and waiting for Jack to get back up again. Going for the top rope Tumbleweed.

Hanson: Beautiful reversal by Diamond Jack into a sit down power bomb and that’s got to be it. Holds it for the pin.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Close but a kick out by Boolz. Frustration on the face of Jack Severino as he pulls Boolz back up to his feet. Big belly to belly suplex. Picks Boolz back up and flings him into the corner.

Hanson: I don’t think this ones going on much longer.

Vinegar: Maybe not. Jack lining up an avalanche. Boolz ducked out of the way and comes back with the right hands to Diamond Jack in the corner now. Boolz lining something up now. Could it be? Big no fly zone and the hardcore champion rolls over the top rope and out to the apron as Jack staggers out.

Hanson: The junkies going to the top rope. This is dumb, doesn’t he remember how it went last time?

Vinegar: I don’t think it’s gonna happen again. Stalking from the top rope…

Hanson: Don’t turn around Jack!

Vinegar: Stargazer! Huge impact from that DDT and I doubt Jack’s even conscious. Here it is. 1, 2, 3. It’s done.

Dennis: Here is your winner, Randy Boolzian!

Vinegar: It almost seems elementary to him now as Boolz picks up another win.

Hanson: His streaks not going to last forever.

Vinegar: Maybe not but it’s hard to see the end from here. Next up though we’ve got action from the new Global Heavyweight Champion Alex Kiseragi, don’t go anywhere.

[Lord Hastings]

“Immortal” begins playing, as the GIW arena fills with boos and jeers. Hastings wears a dark cloak to the ring. When he comes out he pauses on the stage and performs his taunt. He has an almost regal aura to him.

Dennis: The following contest is a tag team match! Introducing first, from Hartford, Connecticut and weighing 230 pounds… DONOVAAAAAN HAAAASTINGS!!!!

Vinegar: Hastings making his way to the ring here, as unpopular as ever. And he’s already having words with Glenn Burke.

Hanson: Well he doesn’t want the old timer to fall down, break a hip and then need Owen Peterson to take his place. This is a Peterson sucks match after all!

Vinegar: We should check the plumbing in this place. I’m starting to think there’s something in the water…

Hanson: YO MOMMA’S IN THE WATER!

“Bummer” begins playing, being met with just as many jeers as Hastings was. Travis Roberts makes his way to the ring, not taking the time to taunt or gloat as he normally would.

Dennis: And the partner, currently residing in Los Angeles, California and weighing 220 pounds… TRRRAVIS RRROBERTS!!!

Vinegar: Roberts looking totally dejected here. He’s obviously still feeling the emotional effects of that loss he suffered back in England. And I’m sure that’s much worse than any physical pain he may still be in.

Hanson: It’s exactly what he deserves. He can’t even beat a nervous homosexual with no personality. The only thing ‘Blessed’ about that hack will come when Declan fires his ass.

Vinegar: Someone’s changed their tune.

Hanson: No idea what you’re talking about, home dawg.

“Slither” begins playing to an audible cheer. Big B brown emerges from the curtains, doing whatever Big Daddy V does (but not my momma).

Dennis: And the opponent, from Harlem, New York and weighing 500 POUNDS… BIIIIG B BRRRRRRROWN!!!!

Hanson: We need seatbelts down here, Nick. The fat man’s walking is shaking the entire arena!

Vinegar: You’re deranged. Pure and simple.

“Teahouse” begins to play, accompanied by a large cheer. Alex Kiseragi, Global Heavyweight Title belt around his waist, walks out to the top of the ramp where he throws two right roundhouse kicks, each accompanied by a small pyro, followed by a split legged backflip with a larger pyro.

Dennis: And the partner, from San Francisco, California and weighing 198 pounds, the Global Heavyweight Champion… ALEX KISERRRAGI!!!

He walks down to the ring, slapping a few outstretched hands as he passes. As he approaches the ring he takes a few quick steps and jumps through the first and second ropes into a roll and up to his feet. He climbs a random turnbuckle and poses for a second before backflipping off.

Vinegar: And this is the sixth man to hold the Global Title. He definitely earned that belt after the brutal war he came out of victorious last week. Brown still hasn’t been cleared to compete after the damages he sustained in that match.

Hanson: Aww, come on Nick, he won because his crippled, old, paedophile father made the save. It was only because no one expected such utterly inadequate interference that they caught everyone off guard and managed to get the steal. It won’t happen again. I guarantee it.

Vinegar: I guess we’ll just have to see, Daniel. Now the bell rings and it’s Kiseragi and Hastings beginning things off. Big B needs a rest after the walk to the ring and Roberts looks to be fighting the urge to start hacking his wrists right there. Well, Hastings with a quick double leg take down and rolls on top of Kiseragi. Looking to apply a camel clutch, but The Dragon rolls free. He’s back up and a stiff dropkick sends Hastings reeling into a neutral corner.

Hanson: And following up with a jumping roundhouse kick. But Lord Hastings rolls out of the way! Ha, he’s too quick, Nick!

Vinegar: Nope! Alex is ready and comes crashing down on The Lord Of Pain with an incredibly impressive springboard clothesline. Hastings has been taken down and Kiseragi now looking for a standing moonsault! But Donovan gets his knees up and they go straight into Kiseragi’s midsection!

Hanson: Yeah, that’s right. Lord Hastings has an answer for everything! ‘Cept Owen Peterson…

Vinegar: Hastings pulling the Champ up and hits a brutal snapmare. Now pulling him up from behind and locking in a half nelson hold. Kiseragi squirming free, charges to the ropes, comes flying back on the rebound, but right into a spine buster!! Hastings really taking it to the Champ here.

Hanson: What’d you expect? He’s our Lord!

Vinegar: Now pulling The Dragon up and looking for a DDT. Kiseragi squirming free and blasts Donovan with a massive spinning heel kick! Kiseragi not done yet and heading to the top rope! Waiting for The Immortal to get up and comes soaring down with a diving side kick!!! But Hastings catches his leg in mid-flight!!! Smashing Kiseragi onto his back and locking in a one legged Boston crab!

Hanson: Is he gonna tap?!

Vinegar: Kiseragi refusing to give up and now Big B is climbing through the ropes. Hastings see him coming and smashes him in the face with a knee, before he’s even fully inside the ring! Now Hastings turning back to Kiseragi AND BEING MET WITH A MASSIVE PINNING HURRICARANA!!! ONE! TWO! THRE - KICK OUT!

Hanson: URGH! The match was nearly over right there outta nowhere!

Vinegar: And that was a wake up call to Hastings! He connects with a hip toss on the Global Champ. Kiseragi back up and plants him with an enziguri!! Now he tags in Big B!!! And the 500 Hundred Pound Wrecking Machine looks like he’s in the mood to destroy after that knee to the face!! He charges straight at The Lord Of Pain! Hastings dashing to his corner, BUT GETS TRAMPLED BY BIG B BEFORE HE CAN MAKE IT THERE!!!

Hanson: OH NO! LORD HASTINGS MIGHT BE DEAD AFTER THAT!

Vinegar: Big B lifting him up like a rag doll and crushes him with a Samoan drop! Big B picking up the now helpless Hastings once more and tearing the life right out of him with a MASSIVE torture rack! The Immortal has been completely grounded here and these fans love it!

Hanson: Not quite! Hastings is able to scramble free and escape that torture rack!

Vinegar: And he goes stumbling into the ropes, clearly worse for wear here. But he’s still got some fight left in him. A straight kick to Big B’s enormous stomach! AND B IS JUST LAUGHING IT OFF!!!

Hanson: URGH!!! IT’S JUST LIKE A HORROR MOVIE!!!!

Vinegar: Look at Hastings’ eyes! They’re filled with terror! And quite rightly! He makes a desperate charge for Roberts, but Big B hooks him with a clothesline! The Lord Of Pain being turned inside out AND THEN FLATTED WITH A BODY SPLASH!!!

Hanson: NO!!! HE ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!!!

Vinegar: You’re right! Hastings narrowly avoiding certain doom and now he’s able to tag in Roberts… BUT TRAVIS JUST STEPPED OFF THE APRON!!!

Hanson: WHAT?! HE’S HEADING BACK UP THE RAMP AND LORD HASTINGS WAS NEVER ABLE TO MAKE THE TAG! THAT ROBERTS IS A TWO TIMING, BACKSTABBING COWARD!!! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO LORD HASTINGS?!?!

Vinegar: Big B looks confused, but isn’t gonna question it! BOOM! A vicious head butt to Hastings, sends The Immortal tumbling to the canvas. But look at this! Kiseragi is chasing Roberts up the ramp!! He’s not gonna let him get away!!

Hanson: But he’s made a critical mistake! He’s left his partner alone! And Lord Hastings capitalising with a kick straight to the fat man’s doodle, while Burke is too focused on Kiseragi and Roberts! You felt that one, didn’t ya, tubby?!

Vinegar: But Hastings not done yet. He rolls out of the ring and is stealing Daniel’s chair! Well, Daniel is actually handing it over to him, with a thumbs up. But nonetheless, Hastings back in the ring and THUMP right into B’s face! Brown hits the canvas and Hastings disposes of the evidence! Calling to Burke as he makes the cover! ONE! Kiseragi racing back down the ramp! TWO! He’s not gonna make it! THREE!!! This one’s done! Hastings has cheated his way to a victory here tonight!

Hanson: Nonsense. After Roberts left, he needed a way to even the odds. It’s only fair.

Vinegar: You yourself said that Kiseragi had also left the match.

Hanson: Yeah, after he had landed all those fairy kicks on Lord Hastings! Roberts never even involved himself in the match. It was like a handicap match. But without Peterson, Lord Hastings still managed to get the win! He’s a true great, Nick!

Dennis: Your winners, via cheating, DONOV -

[Lord Hastings]

Wonder what’s Next’ by Chevelle rips over the PA system. The crowd instantly begin cheering, and turn their attention to the entrance ramp.

Hanson: Oh now what?

Vinegar: Well folks apparently we still have some show tonight!

BoolZ makes his way to the entrance ramp with a Red Bull in his hand, and the Hardcore Championship over his shoulder. As he makes his way to the ring he passes Alex Kiseragi in the aisle, grabs him by the arm, and motions for the GHW Champion to join him in the ring, as Big B and Hastings hobble their way backstage.

Vinegar: And the Red Bull Icon is motioning for Kiseragi to join him in the ring.

Hanson: I’m not to sure I like where this is going, homie.

Both champions re-enter the ring, and BoolZ asks for a mic.

Vinegar: Folks BoolZ won the chance to make any match of his choosing at Horizons, maybe he’s ready to announce his choice.

Hanson: Maybe YO MOMMA is ready to announce her match!

BoolZ: Alex Kiseragi, I might not be the first but let me take this time to congratulate you on your hard fought victory at Distant Whispers. Champ.

Vinegar: Class act from the Hardcore Champion, and it was a hell of a match at Distant Whispers.

Hanson: Yeah, well I’m just waiting for Kiseragi’s papa to enter the ring. If he’s so willing to get involved, I say put him on the payroll, and have him face Dredd every week until he quits!

BoolZ: And now Kiseragi, I know you know because you were there at Battlegrounds, but for the sake of everyone else I get to pick my match at Horizons because I left you and four others unconscious at the Battleground match.

Alex Kiseragi seems to take exception to RBI’s words before dismissing them as harmless banter.

BoolZ: Now I put a lot of thought into this match at Horizons. I wanted something huge, monumental, unique, and awe inspiring. I thought about pulling out a deathmatch against someone like Aragato. Being a fan of his work in Japan, I figured it’d be a rare chance for the American viewing audience to see something truly horrific. I thought about demanding a match against Declan Prescott for ownership of the GIW, but then remembered I wanted a big match not a big headache. I mean I do so hate meetings. So then I started thinking about using my match to force my first chance at the GHW title. Hell I mean I’ve never been beat, I’m the longest reigning title holder in GIW history, and I eliminated you and Brown at Battlegrounds before you two were giving the chance to be the Number One Contender. What the hell?

Vinegar: Whoa Kiseragi doesn’t look like he’s taking to kindly to our Hardcore Champion.

Hanson: What he’s speaking the truth… oh motherfucker I’m I agreeing with the caffeine junky!?!

BoolZ: Yeah so there it is. That’s what I decided. I want the GHW title, and I’m forcing the match at Horizons. BoolZ verses Kiseragi, but then I got to thinking maybe that’s not big enough. I mean watching guys like Deathman, Komosube, Roberts hold and lose that title so quickly all while I’ve held and defended the Hardcore title got me thinking. You know a buddy of mine said it awhile back that the Hardcore Champion is the guy to beat, and he was right. So there it is. BoolZ verses Kiseragi, Hardcore Champion verses Global Heavyweight Champion, winner take all. Hell we’ll go ahead and make it a Unification match. Make it official, the Hardcore Champion is the guy to beat!

Vinegar: UNIFICATION MATCH!

Hanson: About time. What a stupid turd! He could have gone into Horizons with nothing to lose, and everything to gain, and instead he risks it all! Stupid Junkie!

Kiseragi simply smiles in the ring, nods his head, and agrees.

Vinegar: And it’s official!

: NO NO NO WAIT A MINUTE!!

Hanson: Finally hopefully a voice of reason.

Vinegar: What is eD cASe doing out here?

eD: Uhm, yeah, wait a minute. This is not fair, and this is not going to happen. Travis Roberts was robbed at Distant Whispers, and I have to protect my client’s best interests. Travis Roberts deserves his re-match clause, and we are demanding Kiseragi versus Roberts II at Horizons.

Hanson: YEAH!

BoolZ: eD, you stupid little fury bastard listen to me. I get to decide my match, and I’ve decided. Besides Roberts aint worth the time. Hell we both already beat him, and he brings nothing to the table. He’s out.

Alex chuckles a bit while nodding his approval.

BoolZ: Alex I don’t know what you’re smiling about. I beat you too.

eD: No, the contract clear states re-m…

BoolZ: Actually eD maybe Roberts does have something to bring. If you want your master in this match, then he’s gotta ante up that old defunct TWiSTeD Fight Club championship title belt. If he hadn’t already pawned it while smoking his life away after that coma.

eD: Oh, uhm, but the contract says…

BoolZ: eD I don’t care what the contract says, cause my victory says something different. Now maybe Travis just has to wait a month, and then get his rematch. Maybe I beat Alex here, again, and he can have all the rematches against Kiseragi that he wants. Either way if you want your boy in the main event at Horizons it’s going to cost him that title belt from the TFC!

eD: Fine, it’s a deal!

The fans go crazy at the idea, and Alex Kiseragi seems to be growing tired of BoolZ’s little jabs.

BoolZ: Of course, I can’t forget one thing. Prescott has already tried to screw me even more times than his wife and I’m not gonna let that happen again. That’s why our match is gonna be hell in a cell!

Vinegar: Folks there it is BoolZ versus Roberts versus Kiseragi in a Hardcore and GHW unification match taking place in a Hell in the Cell! And Roberts has to put up his TWiSTeD Fight Club title belt in the process!

Hanson: This is bullshit. Huge bullshit, but bullshit none the less. Roberts deserves his re-match!

‘The Air that I Breathe’ by All That Remains hits the arena and Declan Prescott with Cara on his arm march out from behind the curtain, and stand behind the eD as the fans verbally show their disapproval.

Declan: eD you stupid little tool. And yeah, BoolZ huge match. Really you outdid yourself with that one. Honestly I was more then a little worried you demand some screwed up naked twister competition with all the ladies on the roster.

BoolZ: What do you want Prescott? You gonna make the match official, give it the presidential stamp of approval, or did Cara just feel the need to see me one more time. She just can’t get that meeting outta her head, huh?

Declan: Official? No you made it official, it was your match, and now that you made it, it’s official. And I’m glad it’s an actual wrestling match, and not some Red Bull chugging contest against Big B, but it’s not quite big enough for the main event of our biggest show. That’s why I’m changing the match you made to a four way Hell in the Cell, and adding myself to it! Like I’d ever let three degenerates like you two and Roberts represent my company at our biggest show!

Hanson: YES!

Vinegar: Oh what the hell, so now it’s Prescott, Roberts, BoolZ and Kiseragi every man for themselves!

BoolZ: Wait you can’t just add yourself to the match? What are you buying in with?

Declan: Oh you poor fool, you see you two might be holding the Hardcore and GHW titles, but don’t ever forget I own them. That’s the match, BoolZ, Kiseragi, Roberts, and I winner take all Hell in a Cell.

BoolZ: Prescott this is…

Declan: Shut off his mic! Show’s over folks go home, cut the lights, kill the cameras! This isn’t a negotiation, this is my match now!

Hanson: Damn right, bitches!

Vinegar: Declan imposing his wi *Mics cut*

The show ends with Kiseragi and BoolZ in the ring exchanging words, Kiseragi clearly upset, and then blackness as the cameras are cut.

[Lord Hastings]

Sentinel 25/10/08 Credits

Kiseragi In The Ring
Alex Kiseragi

Cyanide/James vs. War/Peace
Andy Savana

Savior/Solomon
Jack Severino

Dredd/Raenius vs. Savana/Ribz
Hiroshima

Triple Threat
Randy Boolzian

Ghost vs. Prescott
Travis Roberts

BoolZ vs. Severino
Alex Kiseragi

Main Event Tag Match
Declan Prescott

BoolZ Makes A Decision
Randy Boolzian