Post by Lord Hastings on Feb 3, 2020 22:33:29 GMT -5
Vinegar: Welcome to the TD Garden, and welcome to Infinity!
Covert Jay: HUTTAH!
Vinegar: It's the first Pay-Per-View of our Tenth Anniversary year-long celebration, and what a night we have ahead!
Lieberjosch: Nine matches, two championships, the Global Challenge tournament!
Vinegar: The greatest ever Global Challenge, six former winners in the field, returning legends, future Hall of Famers, can't wait to see what happens, lets get the action started!
Mitchell Dennis: Introducing the first competitor in this match...
Candy by Cameo begins to blast across the sound system. As it does Maria comes out wearing her Maria Hearts Maleek leather jacket. She smiles as she slaps the hands of the fans that are cheering her on. She can’t stop smiling as she immediately runs her way to the ring and slides right inside. She makes it to her feet and runs to the top of the turnbuckle holding her arm proudly in the air. As she continues to flip off the fans.
Mitchell Dennis: Standing in at five-feet, six-inches tall and ailing from Florence, Italy, she is MARRIIIIIIIAAAAA SALLLLLLLLVAAAATOOOOOOORE!!!
Vinegar: I’m sure that this isn’t exactly where she saw herself tonight, but she shouldn’t discount the value of a match against one of the quickest rising stars in UGWC in twenty nineteen.
Lieberjosch: Any pay-per-view win is important. Even one against the Cologne Choke Artist.
Vinegar: Was that really necessary? You may not like Raab
Lieberjosch: I don’t. Nobody is that…nice.
Vinegar: You’ve made that obvious and some people are.
Lieberjosch: He needs to wear a mask in order to be angry. Who does that?
Covert Jay: I don’t. I wear a mask to be a ninja.
Lieberjosch: You wear a match because you’re an insufferable fool.
Vinegar: Salvatore has made it clear that she has nothing but contempt for Raab.
Lieberjosch: I can relate to that.
Vinegar: Of course you can. Contempt or not, if she wins, it would be huge for her UGWC career. Regardless of what you think of Raab, he put together a
huge twenty-nineteen.
Lieberjosch: Even a blind squirrel finds a nut.
Covert Jay: He found a lot of nuts last year.
Lieberjosch: None of them were coated in gold.
Vinegar: That doesn’t matter. He had championship opportunities.
Lieberjosch: He failed.
Vinegar: Then showed the incredible fortitude to keep getting back up. On the other hand, Maria Salvatore came in with a certain degree of fanfare, was notoriously inconsistent and has one pay-per-view win to her name.
Lieberjosch: The Dark Destroyer is an idiot, but a pay-per-view win is still an important win.
Vinegar: What about when Raab wins them?
Lieberjosch: That’s not a win, it’s a fluke.
Vinegar: Cherry pick much, Hans?
Lieberjosch: I have no idea what you mean.
Covert Jay: I like cherries! Where can I pick them?
Lieberjosch: Anywhere that’s far away from here.
Vinegar: If Raab wins, it’s useful for him, but I think a win over Salvatore over Raab does more for Salvatore than a Raab win over Salvatore does for
Raab.
Lieberjosch: As weird as I find that thought, it’s probably true.
Vinegar: Hold that thought, Mitchell is raising his mic again.
Mitchell Dennis: And the SECOND competitor in this match…
Cold as Ice by M.O.P plays over the sound system as Konrad comes out through the curtain just wearing his blue and white mask with white hair along with his wrestling trousers with his nickname The Iceman on the front of them with Pit Bull Energy logos on the side of his trousers with black gloves on both of his hands with a side cross necklace on his neck with the blue and black yin-yang tattoo on his right shoulder and Iceman from X-Men tattoo on his back, ice wolf tattoo on his left chest and ice bear tattoo on his right chest.
Mitchell Dennis: “From Cologne, Germany, he is The Iceman, Konrad Raab!”
He then high fives the fans as he goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and does a holdup on each turnbuckle and everyone cheers him as he gets down from the turnbuckle and does a few boxing punches to the cameras before he looks at Maria, waiting for the match to start.
Vinegar: While I hate talking about this right off, it’s impossible to ignore the size difference. Raab has almost a foot in height on Salvatore.
Covert Jay: She’s chonky.
Lieberjosch: She’s what?
Covert Jay: Chonky. Not thin.
Lieberjosch: She’s a professional athlete. She’s in exceptional shape.
Covert Jay: Yet Raab doesn’t outweigh her by much.
Lieberjosch: That doesn’t make her fat. Raab isn’t exactly a walking wall.
Vinegar: He’s not a stick, either. Raab is a powerful and tough man.
Lieberjosch: Sure, but it’s not like Salvatore is going up against someone the size of Travis Roberts, Alan Wallace or Dredd. Yes, she’s at a height and weight disadvantage, but it’s not like Raab outweighs her by a hundred pounds. Besides, it’s Raab.
Vinegar: Raab is an experienced and dangerous technical wrestler. She shouldn’t underestimate him.
Lieberjosch: I’m not saying that she should and I bet that she won’t.
Covert Jay: She smiles an awful lot.
Lieberjosch: She enjoys hurting people.
Covert Jay: It’s a little weird.
Lieberjosch: You’re saying that she can’t be happy?
Covert Jay: I’m sure she can be, although I don’t think she is lately.
Vinegar: I might have said that before we found out about this...match stipulation.
Lieberjosch: It's the most amazing way to divorce a wife in history! I didn't think there was anything I hadn't seen, but this is a new one! I love it!
Vinegar: You're disgusting. Maleek Raheem is divorcing his wife via a divorce clause in her contract! What kind of a callous man does that?
Lieberjosch: A man after my own heart. I divorced my third wife via singing telegram.
Covert Jay: Did it sound good?
Lieberjosch: How should I know?
Covert Jay: You said that you delivered a singing telegram.
Lieberjosch: No. I said that I a singing telegram sent to her. I didn't sing it myself.
Covert Jay: Oh. Well, that's not nearly as interesting, or entertaining.
Vinegar: It's not entertaining at all. Neither is this hideous match stipulation. Imagine finding out from a Tweet that your husband is going to divorce you via a shoehorned stipulation that you had no say in.
Lieberjosch: There's a subtle brilliance to it.
Vinegar: It's revolting, not brilliant. First he gets her pregnant and lets her have the child, then he swears that its not his and abandons her and once it's proven that it's his, he sneaks a disgusting divorce agreement into a wrestling match stipulation.
Lieberjosch: Better than that, it's the match against this disgusting and emotionally fragile do gooder! Just imagine how much it's going to torture him during this match to know what happens if he wins! It's perfect!
Vinegar: You really are a son of a bitch sometimes.
Lieberjosch: Raab’s not exactly the model of home life stability. The guy cries, his kid is an embarrassment, his wife is afraid of him, his adviser thinks that he’s so much of a joke that he has him hanging out with idiots in carrot costumes and he has to wear a mask in order to channel his anger or he can’t handle it. What part of that spells “normal family life” to you? Why should I feel sorry for him? If Raab's idiot wife was smart, she'd make it a twofer and add her own divorce stipulation!
Vinegar: Raab is an emotional man. It’s a part of why he connects so strongly with the fans and your suggestion is disgusting.
Lieberjosch: Raab and the fans are both idiots. That’s why they connect.
Vinegar: There’s Alice Nasmith with the bell and we’re underway! The two advance to center ring and Raab holds his hand out in a show of sportsmanship.
Lieberjosch: There’s no time for such sentimental nonsense.
Covert Jay: It’s a nice gesture.
Lieberjosch: It’s stupid, but it’s hard to tell what Salvatore thinks of it thanks to that perpetual smile.
Vinegar: Raab is telling her that she should take it so that they can have a good clean match.
Covert Jay: She looks like she’s thinking about it.
Lieberjosch: Unreal.
Vinegar: She’s looking around into the crowd and they clearly want her to take it.
Lieberjosch: She should ignore them. Her job is to win, not to make friends with the Deutsch dimwit.
Covert Jay: She’s not Danish.
Lieberjosch: What?
Covert Jay: You called her “Deutsch”. She’s not from Denmark.
Lieberjosch: “Deutsch”, you monumental imbecile. It means “German”.
Covert Jay: Are you sure?
Lieberjosch: Quite.
Vinegar: Maria’s smile hasn’t faltered.
Covert Jay: She took it!
Lieberjosch: You have GOT to be KIDDING me!!
Covert Jay: She took it. That’s cool. I like seeing such shows of sportsmanship.
Vinegar: I do too. There’s so much vitriol between our talent it’s good to see
Lieberjosch: HA!
Vinegar: Never mind.
Covert Jay: Ninja swerve!
Vinegar: She waited for him to relax, thinking that she was actually accepting it and used it to kick him in the knee and then pull him in for a DDT.
Lieberjosch: I love it! That’s how it should be done!
Covert Jay: And here I thought we had a budding friendship.
Lieberjosch: Hardly.
Vinegar: Salvatore keeps the pressure on with a snap suplex, a leg drop across his neck and a spinning elbow to his sternum.
Lieberjosch: That’s more like it. Keep the pressure on.
Covert Jay: I’m really upset that she suckered him.
Lieberjosch: Get over it. She did exactly what she should have done.
Vinegar: She took advantage of his honorable nature.
Lieberjosch: He’s a sucker. She used it against him.
Vinegar: Of course you would think that. You hate all displays of sportsmanship.
Lieberjosch: Sportsmanship is for fools.
Vinegar: Raab staggers to his feet only to eat a spinning heel kick from Salvatore that knocks him back into the corner. She runs up and crashes into him with a splash, then plants him with another DDT. She rolls him over and goes for a pin.
Lieberjosch: That was never going to work, but it’s a good way to make him expend energy.
Vinegar: Raab kicks out after two and Salvatore yells at Nasmith and slaps her hands together angrily. Unfortunately for her, the young referee isn’t sympathetic to her concerns.
Lieberjosch: Alice Nasmith has to be better than that. That was a slow count.
Vinegar: No it wasn’t. The count was fine, you’re just upset because Raab kicked out.
Lieberjosch: I contest your analysis.
Vinegar: Your contesting aside, Salvatore still has the advantage as she keeps Raab grounded with a side headlock. I don’t think it’s a good strategy for her to try and trade mat holds with him.
Lieberjosch: I have to agree with you there. That would be unwise of her. I think Raab is an idiot, but he knows his way around the mat.
Vinegar: She needs to keep him off balance and retreating. Grounding him allows him to get his feet back under him. It gives him a literal opportunity to get his feet back under him.
Covert Jay: Aren’t they always under him, you know, unless he’s laying down?
Lieberjosch: It simply astounds me that you remember to breathe.
Covert Jay: I don’t have to think about that, you know, unless I’m eating.
Lieberjosch: What?
Covert Jay: Well, I can’t eat and breathe at the same time. I’ll choke.
Lieberjosch: We can only hope.
Vinegar: Salvatore continues to ground the German veteran, wrenching down on that headlock. Raab has managed to get himself up onto his knees, but she still has him bent over face down across the mat.
Lieberjosch: I suggest that the young lady do something a bit more forceful. That’s not a salient long-term strategy.
Vinegar: I have to agree.
Lieberjosch: I’m not sure how Salvatore hasn’t noticed, but Raab has slowly backed himself towards the corner. Most wrestlers try their best to stay out of the corner, but this idiot backs himself into it
Vinegar: I don’t think it’s idiotic. Do you notice what his backing himself into the corner has done to Salvatore’s positioning?
Lieberjosch: I haven’t.
Vinegar: Her right leg is under the bottom rope.
Lieberjosch: Are you sure?
Vinegar: Look for yourself.
Lieberjosch: If it is, it’s due to a mistake by Salvatore, not because of some accidental strategy by Raab playing itself out.
Vinegar: You just refuse to give him any credit.
Covert Jay: He gave Raab credit for being a better mat wrestler than her.
Lieberjosch: I did no such thing.
Covert Jay: You said that she’d be making a mistake if she tries to out math wrestle him.
Lieberjosch: I think you misheard me. I’d never compliment that pathetic, mentally challenged fool.
Vinegar: You did say it, Hans and it’s proven to be true.
Lieberjosch: Our referee hasn’t noticed the foot under the ropes, so it doesn’t matter that it’s there.
Vinegar: It’s also allowed Raab to slowly push himself up to his knees so that he’s vertical again.
Lieberjosch: Good for him. He’s still stuck in a corner with someone’s arms wrapped around his head.
Covert Jay: Not for long!
Vinegar: Salvatore got too focused on keeping him grounded and lost sight of where his hands were.
Lieberjosch: They’re currently around her waist. That’s not a good position for her.
Vinegar: Suplex from Raab!
Covert Jay: He exploded out of the corner!
Lieberjosch: That was an unpleasant flight and an even more unpleasant landing for Salvatore.
Vinegar: She landed hard across her shoulders in the opposite corner.
Lieberjosch: I think “heap” would be an appropriate adjective for her current state.
Vinegar: I think you’re right.
Lieberjosch: Raab has an opening. Let’s see if he can manage not to screw it up.
Vinegar: Salvatore hasn’t moved since crashing into the mat.
Covert Jay: She’s just slumped.
Vinegar: Raab explodes out of the corner and charges at her…
Covert Jay: Ouch!
Lieberjosch: That’s not going to improve her condition.
Vinegar: Taking a knee to the face will do that.
Lieberjosch: That’s so very true.
Vinegar: Raab pulls Salvatore up by her head into a standing vertical suplex.
Covert Jay: That’s not going to help her head any.
Lieberjosch: How observant of you.
Covert Jay: Neither will that.
Vinegar: No. That brainbuster isn’t going to help her any.
Lieberjosch: I expect not.
Vinegar: Raab pulls her back up and switches around behind her.
Lieberjosch: Salvatore’s eyes are still glassy. It’s often said that it’s the landing that kills you.
Covert Jay: That was…dark.
Vinegar: Raab hoists her up and over…German suplex!
Covert Jay: He’s not done yet!
Vinegar: Raab with a second German suplex. He spins his hips, pops up and connects with a third German suplex. He pops his hips again and pulls Salvatore up.
Covert Jay: Nice!
Lieberjosch: It wasn’t nice for Salvatore.
Vinegar: Do you need further evidence that the man knows how to wrestle? He transitioned seamlessly from the suplex into that double knee facebreaker. He drops across her for the cover.
Lieberjosch: Nasmith drops for the count!
Covert Jay: That would keep me down.
Lieberjosch: Sometimes it’s just too easy...
Vinegar: Salvatore kicks out at two-point-six, and not with a whole lot of authority.
Lieberjosch: Getting dropped on your face will do that. (Referee) needs to warn him.
Vinegar: For what?
Lieberjosch: Using that move.
Vinegar: It was legal.
Lieberjosch: It was dangerous.
Vinegar: Wrestling is dangerous.
Lieberjosch: Someone forgot to tell Raab that that sequence was banned before the match and as a result, he’s disqualified.
Vinegar: That’s nonsense, Hans. We both know that never happened.
Lieberjosch: Well it should have.
Vinegar: While you’ve been wasting time with that weird conspiracy, Raab has kept Salvatore on her heels with a barrage of boxing punches in the corner, followed by a European uppercut and a spinebuster.
Covert Jay: Flaaaaat!
Lieberjosch: What are you yammering about?
Covert Jay: She looks flat after the spinebuster!
Vinegar: Raab leaps up onto the turnbuckle!
Covert Jay: Ninja Kraut!
Lieberjosch: I’m relatively certain that “Kraut” is still considered to be a derogatory term for Germans.
Covert Jay: I didn’t know that you cared about offending Raab.
Lieberjosch: I don’t. I think we should mandate insulting him as an unbreakable rule of the company.
Vinegar: Would you stop?!
Lieberjosch: The man’s an embarrassment to the sport.
Vinegar: Raab is incredibly popular! The fans love him!
Lieberjosch: That doesn’t help his case.
Vinegar: Raab leaps into a moonsault!
Fans: Ohhhh!!! Boooooo!!!!
Vinegar: Oh come on!
Covert Jay: I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules.
Lieberjosch: I’m certain that it’s a fantastic strategy. The idiot leaped and Salvatore suckered him!
Vinegar: She pulled Alice in the way!
Lieberjosch: Listen, I feel bad for Nasmith because I know that hurt, but it was a great strategy. Not only does Salvatore not take the damage from the moonsault, but now that do-gooder fool is undoubtedly going to lose his focus because he’s too worried about Nasmith being hurt!
Vinegar: Raab is good man who cares about the sport and everyone in it! He shouldn’t be mocked for it!
Lieberjosch: All’s fair in love, war and on pay-per-view. Anyone who gets hurt is collateral damage.
Vinegar: It was cheap. If you’ve noticed, Salvatore still hasn’t fully recovered.
Lieberjosch: Not yet, but she looks a little better than Raab does. He’s almost beside himself with concern over Alice.
Vinegar: He’s a good man. Of course he is.
Lieberjosch: If he wants to win, he can’t be a “good man”. He has to find some way to channel the “Black Ice” side of his personality.
Vinegar: He hates that side of himself.
Lieberjosch: He might need it in order to win.
Vinegar: Right now he’s checking on Alice.
Lieberjosch: What he’s doing is taking his eye off of the objective.
Covert Jay: Turn around, Raab.
Lieberjosch: He’s in his own world.
Covert Jay: Turn around, Raab.
Lieberjosch: He’s too busy checking on Nasmith.
Covert Jay: You should REALLY turn around, Raab.
Lieberjosch: You DO know that he can’t hear you?
Covert Jay: Maybe if I think hard enough we’ll connect minds.
Lieberjosch: You’d have to have a mind in order for that to happen.
Vinegar: Salavatore out of nowhere with a low blow that doubles Raab over!
Lieberjosch: That’s exactly what she needed to do.
Vinegar: Chop block! Come on!
Lieberjosch: She’s doing what she needs to do. That was smart.
Vinegar: It was dirty.
Lieberjosch: Whatever gets the job done.
Vinegar: Raab goes down in a heap and Salvatore grabs his leg and drags him to the apron. She pulls his leg under, lifts it up and brings it crashing down kneecap first into the apron.
Covert Jay: That’s the hardest part of the ring, you know.
Lieberjosch: Thank you, trope encyclopedia.
Vinegar: Salvatore repeats the move, then pulls him over and slams his knee into the turnbuckle.
Lieberjosch: It’s an excellent strategy. If she takes his legs away, it eliminates three of his big moves.
Vinegar: She slams it into the turnbuckle again, and a third time!
Lieberjosch: Nasmith still hasn’t moved.
Vinegar: Salvatore wraps Raab’s legs around the turnbuckle and locks in a figure four around the ring post! If Alice was back up, there’s no way she’d allow this!
Lieberjosch: But she ISN’T up so it doesn’t matter what she might do.
Vinegar: Raab is yelling in agony and slamming his hands against the sides of the ring.
Lieberjosch: If he had any brains, he’d be using his hands to push himself up.
Vinegar: I’m sure that you’d think of that if you were in his position.
Lieberjosch: Naturally. I’m a genius.
Vinegar: Nasmith is finally back up. She runs over and demands that Salvatore break the hold.
Covert Jay: Salvatore is ignoring her!
Lieberjosch: She’s wisely using the full extent of the count. That’s a great strategy.
Vinegar: Nasmith gets to four and a half and Salvatore finally releases the hold. Raab falls to the floor on the outside, clutching at his knee in agony. Salvatore slides out, grabs him by his shoulders and whirls around.
Covet Jay: That couldn’t have felt good.
Lieberjosch: Is that your professional analysis, Jay?
Covert Jay: Yup.
Lieberjosch: Insightful, as always.
Vinegar: Salvatore just slammed Raab back first into the ringside barrier, then slid into the ring to break the count before she slid back out. She pulls Raab up and pulls him along with her at a sprint.
Covert Jay: Did you hear that crash?
Lieberjosch: I assure you that everyone heard it.
Vinegar: Raab crashes knees first into the stairs and tumbles over them before he lands face first on the floor.
Lieberjosch: She’s very smart to keep her focus on Raab’s knees.
Covert Jay: Raab doesn’t look good.
Vinegar: He’s clutching at that beaten up right knee. It’s definitely a weak point for Salvatore to attack.
Lieberjosch: Attack it she will.
Vinegar: Salvatore reaches the steps and catapults off of them.
Covert Jay: WOW!!!
Lieberjosch: That was an impressive display of agility.
Vinegar: Salvatore comes down across the bad knee with an elbow drop. She achieved impressive height with the leap that preceded it.
Lieberjosch: She has the ability to do incredible things if only she’d, well…
Covert Jay: Show up?
Lieberjosch: That would help.
Vinegar: Salvatore darts back into and out of the ring and looks at Raab, who has pushed himself up to his feet with the aid of the ring steps.
Lieberjosch: Salvatore has that killer gleam in her eyes right now to go along with that perpetual smile.
Covert Jay: I’m not sure if it’s creepy or hot.
Lieberjosch: There’s something seriously wrong with you.
Vinegar: Salvatore leaps up onto the apron and breaks into a run.
Covert Jay: Crazy ninja leap!
Vinegar: Dropkick off of the apron!
Lieberjosch: She caught Raab right in the bad knee. That’s not how I would have done that, but it worked.
Vinegar: Raab is in bad shape right now. His right knee has taken tremendous abuse.
Lieberjosch: I’d be surprised if he can still walk. Of course, I’m normally surprised that he can walk, so that’s nothing different from usual.
Vinegar: You can’t even give him credit for his toughness?
Lieberjosch: He hasn’t proven that he’s tough yet.
Vinegar: He’s still conscious.
Lieberjosch: He’s a professional wrestler. He should have the fortitude to stand up to this.
Vinegar: You just refuse to give him any credit, no matter what.
Lieberjosch: When he earns my respect, I’ll give it to him.
Vinegar: You’re impossible.
Lieberjosch: I have high standards.
Vinegar: No, you’re biased.
Lieberjosch: You’re too sentimental.
Vinegar: Raab is yelling in agony on the floor as he clutches at his right knee. Salvatore turns and runs across the floor. She wheels around on Raab and smiles at in a way that quite frankly makes me feel a little queasy.
Lieberjosch: I admit that her perpetual sadistic smile is a bit disconcerting at times. That said, I’m positive that it’s entirely strategic on her part.
Covert Jay: She’s charging him again!
Lieberjosch: What the hell is Nasmith doing? She just stepped in the way!
Covert Jay: Salvatore has some serious ninja reflexes!
Lieberjosch: She just showed impressive control to avoid the young referee, who by the way has no right getting between them!
Vinegar: She’s checking on Raab. That’s her job!
Lieberjosch: She has no right to get in the way! Salvatore was about to finish the German goof off and Nasmith just interfered! I smell a fix!
Vinegar: Will you come off of it?! There’s no “fix”! Nasmith is just doing her job!
Lieberjosch: This is absurd!
Vinegar: Salvatore is irate that Nasmith got in between them, but Nasmith orders her back into the ring with the threat of disqualification.
Lieberjosch: She has every right to be upset! She was close to winning this match and that idiot referee got in the way!
Vinegar: Raab might have a dislocated or broken knee! Nasmith has to make sure that he’s able to continue! It’s her job!
Lieberjosch: If that’s the case, then Raab should do the right thing and let Salvatore put him away in the ring! He should accept the obvious and lose with honor!
Vinegar: There’s no way that you’d be saying that if the situation was reversed!
Lieberjosch: Of course not! He doesn’t deserve to win! She’s clearly outwrestled him!
Covert Jay: She’s shown some serious ninja skills, Doc. I wouldn’t say that she’s outwrestled Raab.
Vinegar: Neither would I. She started this flurry by bulling Referee Alice Nasmith into harm’s way, then hit Raab with a low blow and a chop block.
Lieberjosch: I don’t see a problem with that.
Vinegar: They’re illegal moves.
Lieberjosch: Sometimes you have to be a little unconventional.
Vinegar: There’s “unconventional” and there’s cheating. Salvatore cheated.
Lieberjosch: Sentimental nonsense.
Vinegar: Nasmith checks on Raab. He insists that he can continue, although he can barely put any weight on that knee.
Lieberjosch: Salvatore is making sure to appropriately register her dissatisfaction with Nasmith’s decision.
Vinegar: She’s doing more than that, she keeps trying to reach through the ropes and hit Raab.
Lieberjosch: She knows that she has him on the ropes and that the only thing keeping her from winning is this idiot referee.
Vinegar: Nasmith asks Raab if he can continue and he insists that he can.
Lieberjosch: Walk and prove it.
Covert Jay: I think Salvatore just yelled the same thing.
Vinegar: Raab glares up at her. He asks Nasmith to stand back, which she does. He takes a couple of steps.
Lieberjosch: And falls flat on his face as his knee crumples under him.
Vinegar: Nasmith just turned toward the back and is throwing her arms…
Covert Jay: Raab just pulled himself up and grabbed her arm. He insists that he can continue.
Lieberjosch: The idiot just rolled back into the ring.
Vinegar: You have to respect his heart.
Lieberjosch: I certainly can’t respect his brains. He can’t put weight on his knee and he’s forcing himself to continue.
Covert Jay: My ninja is confident.
Lieberjosch: You would love that idiot.
Vinegar: The second Raab re-enters the ring, Salvatore goes back on the attack with an elbow drop to his head. She follows it up with another dropkick, this one to the side of his head.
Lieberjosch: Salvatore is going to end this idiot’s career! She’s suddenly my favorite wrestler!
Vinegar: Salvatore pulls Raab up and he immediately drops to one knee as his right knee gives out. She capitalizes with a DDT, then goes back to working over his knee with stomps.
Lieberjosch: She’s smiling like a lunatic the entire time. She clearly enjoys hurting people and I can’t say that I blame her in this case.
Vinegar: All of that aside, Raab had better figure out a way to turn this around or his night is going to end soon.
Covert Jay: Ow!
Vinegar: Salvatore with the slap across the face!
Lieberjosch: There are few greater shows of disrespect than that.
Vinegar: Salvatore slaps him again!
Lieberjosch: She’s really adding insult to injury.
Covert Jay: She can slap me anytime!
Lieberjosch: You need help. Serious medical help with heavy medication involved.
Vinegar: Salvatore is teeing off on him with slap after slap!
Lieberjosch: She’s pissed that he almost wimped out of the match!
Vinegar: “Wimped out”? He can’t stand, yet he stopped Referee Alice Nasmith from ending the match! How’s that “wimping out”?
Covert Jay: He’s got ya there, Doc.
Lieberjosch: Shut it, imbecile.
Vinegar: He most definitely did not “wimp out”.
Lieberjosch: Well, whatever you think about his wimping out, and he definitely tried to, Salvatore is really smacking the hell out of him!
Covert Jay: About that…
Lieberjosch: Don’t interrupt.
Vinegar: He didn’t “wimp out”. I know that you’re biased against him, but even YOU can’t be THIS biased.
Lieberjosch: I’m not being “biased”. Raab is trying to upstage her!
Covert Jay: Guys...
Lieberjosch: I told you to shut up.
Covert Jay: I know, but...
Lieberjosch: “But” nothing. Be quiet. The adults are talking.
Vinegar: How’s he “upstaging” her? She’s been slapping the hell out of him for the past few minutes.
Covert Jay: And he’s
Vinegar: Hold on, Jay.
Lieberjosch: Shut it, idiot. Listen, Raab is trying to steal her thunder. She’s slapping some manners into him.
Covert Jay: Yeah, about that.
Lieberjosch: Be...quiet.
Vinegar: Salvatore slaps him for what must be the twentieth time and frankly, I’ve never seen Raab with that look on his face before.
Covert Jay: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.
Lieberjosch: WHAT? What could you possibly have to offer that isn’t banal?
Covert Jay: Well, that every time Salvatore slapped Raab, that it seemed to irritate him more and more.
Vinegar: Raab makes it to his feet, but Salvatore kicks him in the knee and DDT’s him again. She quickly pulls him up and turns him around…
Covert Jay: “Killswitch”!!
Lieberjosch: Finally. It’s about time that she finishes that idiot off!
Vinegar: Nasmith drops to the mat.
Lieberjosch: Did he just kick out after one?
Covert Jay: He did, and with a bit of stank on it.
Vinegar: Salvatore looks dumbfounded.
Lieberjosch: She’s not the only one.
Covert Jay: Suddenly she’s not smiling.
Lieberjosch: She’s not the only one.
Vinegar: I’m not sure what the hell just happened, but Raab is slowly getting to his feet and I can’t place it, but something about him is different all of a sudden.
Covert Jay: Yeah. I tried to tell you that.
Lieberjosch: What?!
Covert Jay: Every time she slapped him, she’d add an insult about his family to it.
Lieberjosch: Oh.
Covert Jay: Yeah.
Lieberjosch: That was strategy.
Covert Jay: Well, it backfired. Miserably. Instead of breaking Raab, it just pissed him off. A lot.
Lieberjosch: It looks to me like he has to use the bathroom.
Vinegar: No. Jay is right...
Lieberjosch: He can’t be angry, he doesn’t have that goofy mask on.
Vinegar: Apparently she found the way to get him there.
Covert Jay: She’s winding up for another one!
Lieberjosch: Maybe he should just take the hint and do what he does best, lose.
Covert Jay: She’s swinging!
Vinegar: Raab caught it!
Covert Jay: She’s not smiling now!
Vinegar: Raab spins Salvatore around and locks his arms around her!
Covert Jay: Holy crap!
Vinegar: That suplex nearly threw her from the ring!
Lieberjosch: All she has to do to take the momentum back is kick him in the knee.
Vinegar: Maria pulls herself to her feet and charges out of the corner.
Lieberjosch: See, she’s fine.
Vinegar: Arm drag by Raab!
Covert Jay: Ninja suckered her in!
Lieberjosch: He got lucky. I’d like to see him do that again.
Covert Jay: She wouldn’t!
Lieberjosch: She’s already back up, so that hardly did a thing.
Vinegar: Salvatore charges again and eats another arm drag from Raab. She leaps to her feet and charges again. Another arm drag from Raab. Salvatore gets back up and runs at Raab. He positions himself for another arm drag.
Lieberjosch: How predictable.
Vinegar: Salvatore reflexively tries to counter it, but Raab pulls her up and drops her with a back suplex!
Covert Jay: She came down right on her head!
Lieberjosch: That imbecile might have injured her! Nasmith should disqualify him!
Vinegar: She’s not going to disqualify him. He didn’t do anything wrong.
Lieberjosch: She should disqualify him for being dangerous!
Vinegar: Chaos matches are dangerous to the competitors. Would you disqualify Kenzi for everything she does to defend her championship?
Lieberjosch: No. Of course not.
Vinegar: Why not? As if I didn’t already know.
Lieberjosch: Because it’s KENZI you fool! Not this dimwit.
Vinegar: That’s what I thought.
Covert Jay: I’m amazed that his knee hasn’t given out yet!
Vinegar: He’s motivated. Salvatore gets up and is quickly knocked back down by a European Uppercut. Raab pulls her to her feet and whips her into the corner. He flies in and drives a forearm into her chest that rocks her. Salvatore staggers out of the corner and drops flat onto the mat as Raab leaps up onto the turnbuckle.
Covert Jay: Notice that Alice Nasmith is out of arms reach this time.
Lieberjosch: It’s nice to see that our Junior Referee can learn.
Vinegar: Frogsplash! Raab hooks her leg!
Lieberjosch: I can’t believe that he’s about to steal this!
Vinegar: Salvatore kicks out at two!
Lieberjosch: Ha! He failed!
Vinegar: She hasn’t won!
Lieberjosch: Yet.
Vinegar: Raab gets to his feet and takes a couple of steps back.
Covert Jay: Superkick?
Vinegar: Salvatore gets to her feet and turns.
Lieberjosch: HA! Brilliant!
Covert Jay: Ninja dodge!
Vinegar: Salvatore rolls under the kick and pulls Rabb into a roll up!
Lieberjosch: Yes! She’s going to put this clown away!
Vinegar: Nasmith drops for the count!
Lieberjosch: Yes! I get to see him lose aga
Vinegar: Raab kicks out at two!
Lieberjosch: Fix! Slow count!
Vinegar: Oh shut up!
Lieberjosch: Whoa, Nicky. Calm down!
Vinegar: I’m tired of you constantly making excuses for her when she almost gets pinned. Give Raab credit when he deserves it!
Lieberjosch: When he deserves it, I will.
Vinegar: No you won’t.
Lieberjosch: You’re right, I won’t. How good of you to notice.
Vinegar: Both get to their feet and Salvatore quickly goes for a neckbreaker, but Raab loops his arms through hers.
Covert Jay: Flippy dippy do!
Lieberjosch: What the hell does that mean?
Covert Jay: He just flipped her over his own back!
Vinegar: Then punctuated it with a nasty looking knee strike to her chin. Salvatore is clearly dazed as she staggers backwards.
Lieberjosch: Yet stays on her feet because she’s tough.
Vinegar: Salvatore staggers as she tries to rub the pain out of her chin.
Lieberjosch: Damn him!
Covert Jay: Look at the bright side, Doc.
Lieberjosch: What?
Covert Jay: Now she gets to rub the pain out of her gut instead!
Vinegar: Raab delivers a rib crunching spear to Salvatore.
Lieberjosch: How is he still moving on that injured knee? He HAS to be faking it!
Vinegar: Raab pulls Salvatore off of the mat and hauls her up.
Lieberjosch: His knee buckled! HA!
Vinegar: Yes, but he managed to slingshot her off of the top rope and straight into “The Iceinator”!
Lieberjosch: Then immediately fell backwards as his knee gave out on him! He can’t make the pin!
Vinegar: Raab pulls himself across the mat and drapes his arm across Salvatore’s chest! Nasmith drops to the mat for the count!
Lieberjosch: Did he waste too much time?
Covert Jay: We’re about to find out!
Vinegar: Salvatore kicks out at two point eight!
Lieberjosch: HA!
Vinegar: Raab rolls her over and cinches in the “Ice Lock”!
Lieberjosch: No! He can’t use this! It was banned before the show!
Vinegar: Again? Get over it, Hans! Salvatore screams in pain and begins to try and claw her way to the ropes.
Lieberjosch: This is terrible! Raab is using an illegal move and this idiotic referee won’t disqualify him!
Covert Jay: Ya know, Doc, normally I find your selective interpretation of reality to be mildly endearing. It’s your shtick after all.
Lieberjosch: I sense a “but” in there.
Covert Jay: But tonight you’re just being an ass.
Lieberjoch: JAY!
Covert Jay: It’s the truth. Deal with it.
Vinegar: Jay just laid the smack down on you, Hans.
Lieberjosch: This won’t go unanswered you uncultured swine.
Vinegar: Salvatore is inches from the ropes but Raab drags her back out into center ring and drops the ankle lock in deeper!
Lieberjosch: I have nothing more to say to you two.
Vinegar: Salvatore TAPS!!! Salvatore TAPS!!! Konrad Raab wins!!
Mitchell Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, your WINNER as a result of a SUBMISSION, “THE ICEMAN”, KONNNNNRAAAAD RAAAAB!!!!
Vinegar: Konrad Raab picks up a submission victory over an extremely able Maria Salvatore to pick up his biggest win of two-thousand and twenty!
Lieberjosch: Unbelievable. A corrupt official who allowed Raab to get away with constant shortcuts hands the undeserving Crybaby of Cologne a tainted win.
Vinegar: There was NOTHING “tainted” about this win. He fought through what could be a badly injured knee and found a way to win. He earned every bit of that victory.
Covert Jay: And I punked the Doc!
Vinegar: And you punked the Doc. The first round of the Global Challenge...
Covert Jay: Dramatic pause.
Vinegar: NEXT!
Konrad Raab - 6.73
Maria Salvatore - 6.32