Sentinel 1/11/08 RESULTS

[Lord Hastings]

“Divine” by Korn plays as Chip Masters and Dredd make their way out to the ring as the crowd lets out a chorus of booes.

Hanson: This team is guaranteed a spot in the finals of the tag team tournament and I dig it. They’re facing Cyanide and some other fool for about no reason but it could be really useful to continue the amazing momentum this team has had of late. Chip Masters returning after taking last week off and letting Raenius fight in his place. They defeated that fool Savana and now it’s time for Cyanide to come out.

Vinegar: And not one cussword.

All Nightmare Long by Metallica plays as Savior and Cyanide make their way down to the ring

Vinegar: I find it kind of sad that Cyanide still uses the old music from when he teamed with Dylan James.

Hanson: I use to be a fan of him and James but this Savior guys makes it hard to even fathom up cheering his name in the occasion of righteousness.

Vinegar: Cyanide and Savior sliding into the ring and staring down Dredd and Chip Masters. I am guessing that Sean just really wants to ruin their momentum and let them know that they are not undefeatable.

Hanson: What about Savior?

Vinegar: He needs a paycheck.

Hanson: BURN!

RING!

Vinegar: The match has started and OH MY GOD! Savior right away just comes off that top turnbuckle and lands a massive crossbody on Masters! He isn’t even the legal man in because Cyanide follows up with a barrage of stomps on Master’s who struggles to find his bearings.

Hanson: Either Savior is turning heel or Cyanide is turning face.

Vinegar: Cyanide just pushed the referee back so I suppose Savior is in line for a heel turn. Cyanide lifting masters up and Irish whipping him to his own corner. A knee to the abdomen! Tag in to Savior who jumps right in and kicks Master’s in the stomach until Master’s is on his knee.

Hanson: Savior is a feisty little fellow to fight with.

Vinegar: Savior landing some massive chops on the chest of Master’s while watching out for the Monster Dredd. He has been known to jump the rules and attack the legal member in the match.

Hanson: Wasn’t the beginning of the match headlined by the illegal man attacking the legal man. Ha. I just made it sound like a Mexican attacked a white man.

Vinegar: DAMN IT, Hanson. Savior going for a running clothesline but no! Masters counters into a belly-to-belly. Savior holding his back as Masters slingshots him into a hard forearm from Dredd.

Hanson: Just look at Savior drop dead to the ground as Masters looks at him with some happiness in his eyes! Ha. Cyanide seems pretty bummed with his choice of a partner.

Vinegar: Master’s bending over to lift up Savior but Savior kicks him right in the head! Master’s stumbles back into a leg sweep from Cyanide! The referee trying to move Cyanide out of the ring as Dredd jumps in and charges Savior! He dodges and Dredd nails Master’s! Savior with a kick to the side of the head to Dredd which will hold him off just long enough for the referee to take notice and push him out.

Hanson: Sometimes Dredd doesn’t get any of the luck.

Vinegar: Savior with a tag to Cyanide! Cyanide jumps in and lifts up Master’s for a flapjack to the ground and charges at Dredd with a massive dropkick! He’s all excited and I don’t think anything can stop him now, Hanson.

Hanson: I believe Master’s eventually will.

Vinegar: Cyanide with an impeller DDT! He just spiked Master’s head straight into the ground and he covers!

Paterson: 1!

Paterson: 2!

Paterson: Kick out!

Master’s kicks out at the last second, as Cyanide looks annoyed.

Vinegar: Cyanide thought he had the match won with that DDT. I almost fell for it as well.

Hanson: I told you Master’s would ensure that Cyanide does not win this match.

Cyanide pushes Master’s back into his corner and tags in Savior. They both perform a double team suplex to Master’s who holds his back in agony.

Vinegar: I wonder where Dredd is that he cannot be at the corner for Master’s to tag out to. I doubt that dropkick from Cyanide was really that terrible.

Hanson: He probably heard your commentating or something along those lines.

Cyanide gets out to the apron as Savior works over Masters on the ground. Savior leans over to lift up Master’s WHEN MASTERS ROLLS HIM UP!

Paterson: 1!

Paterson: 2!

Paterson: KICK OUT!

Vinegar: The scum of Dredd has just nailed Cyanide with a chair from behind while Master’s distracted the referee by attempting to pin Savior!

Hanson: That is a very interesting way of teamwork to play. These two are really proving that they are going to be a hard team to overcome as a tag team.

Vinegar: I am not feeling to hot right now as Savior tried to baseball slide Dredd but got hit with a massive fist to the abdomen as he was sliding out.

Hanson: Dredd just lifting him up like he is nothing and tossing him back into the ring.

Vinegar: Reverse DDT to Savior and Master’s covers.

Paterson: 1!

Paterson: 2!

Paterson: 3!

Vinegar: These two pick up another victory with their sketchy style of following the rules.

[Lord Hastings]

The lights cut to black and red and white strobe lights alternate in beat with the rapid music as “Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide” Starts to play. Chassie walks swiftly onto the stage, looking at the people for a moment, then as the lyrics hit she descends the ramp, breaking into a run about halfway down.

Dennis: The following contest is a number one contender match for the GIW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP. Introducing first, from someplace unkown, because P couldn’t find it in her profile… CHASSIE ‘THE DARK ROSE’ FEAR!

When she reaches the ring she jumps, grabbing the top rope and springing herself up, flipping in the air and landing on her feet. She runs to a random turnbuckle and plants her feet on the corners of the middle turnbuckle, throwing up the horns and head banging briefly. Then she calmly jumps down and begins to stretch, waiting for her opponent with bloodlust in her eyes.

Hanson: So Nick, who’s the opponent gonna be?! Calypso? A returning Misery? Chinatsu? Oh man, I hope it’s Chinatsu!

Vinegar: Don’t get your hopes up, Dan…

Hanson: Hopes? Nah, I’m more focused on something else. The same thing yo momma was focused on last night!

“Why Can’t We Be Friends” hits, as Brandon McSkinny emerges on the stage and the fans mark the fuck out. He throws himself about the stage, before pelvic thrusting in Chassie’s direction and heading to the ring.

Dennis: Holy fuckin’ shit… the opponent, from Los Angeles, California and weighing less than Marlo’s ass… Brandon McSkinny…

Hanson: I’m scarred for life…

Vinegar: As Skinny may very well be, by the time this match has come to it’s conclusion. And now the bell has sounded. Chassie not looking impressed at all, here.

Hanson: Yeah, but she looks impressive. You know you’re in trouble when Fear is the hottest one in the match. I want my Chen Cakes…

Vinegar: I always knew you had a secret crush on Komosube. Nonetheless, Skinny is actually daring Chassie to hit him. And The Dark Rose isn’t gonna wait around. She cocks her arm, but stops dead in her tracks… SKINNY HAS THE FANNY CLAW LOCKED IN!!!! HE’S GOT HIS HAND ALL OVER CHASSIE’S CROTCH!!

Hanson: I’m gonna be ill!!

Vinegar: Chassie momentarily stunned, either from shock, inhuman rage or both. She’s looking from Skinny’s hand to his face, with a glare that could kill on it’s own. AND NOW SKINNY IS HISSING AT HER!!!

Hanson: This is a disgrace…

Vinegar: CHASSIE’S HAD ENOUGH AND SMASHES A FIST STRAIGHT INTO HIS TWO INCH THICK GLASSES! SKINNY IS DOWN!

Hanson: Oh thank God. But she’s gonna have to cover him to get the fall. I feel sorry for her. Or at least I would if I didn’t find her so repulsive.

Vinegar: Would you stop?! Back in the ring, Chassie pulls Skinny up and delivers a stiff one-legged backstabber. Very impressive there. And now she’s going up top… CONNECTS WITH THE FEARLESS! HERE’S THE COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! IT’S OVER! CHASSIE MAKES GOOD ON HER WORD TO TAKE OUT BRANDON MCSKINNY!

Dennis: Your winner, via pinfall, and number one contender to the GIW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP… CHASSIE FEAR!!!

Vinegar: Well there you go. As usual, Skinny has been put in his place. But I’m sure he’ll be back sooner or later. The kid has guts, if nothing else.

Hanson: Yeah, guts that get beaten to a pulp every time he leaves home. But we’ve got a problem, Nick. Chassie is heading backstage and this match isn’t 800 words. It’s below the minimum allowed length.

Vinegar: Well Dan, that is a problem. If only something would interrupt the show to extend this post…

Hanson and Vinegar: Hmm…

(The between-match crowd buzz is suddenly interrupted by the house lights dropping out and a familiar tune starting
to play over the PA system. It's slow, silent start grabs the audience's attention, silencing them until the lyrics kick in. It is
music unaffiliated with any known GIW superstar, but recognizable by most.

The anticipation builds as "Rooster" by Alice in Chains moves through the first verse... a lone spotlight shines upon the entrance
ramp, obviously awaiting... something.)

Vinegar: This’ll do nicely.

Hanson: Yeah, we're getting treated to some sweet ass tunes between matches! Rock on!

Vinegar: I think there’s probably more to it…


("Ain't found a way to kill me yet... Eyes burn with sting and sweat. Seems every path leads me to nowhere......
Wife and kids, and household pets...."

Still, no one has appeared from the entry way. Curiosity grows in the form of crowd chatter. Such an extended build up must be a preface to something spectacular)

Vinegar: Now I’m confused. Are you seeing this anywhere on our schedule for tonight? What gives?

Hanson: Are you inferring that the GIW is somehow scripted? What the FUCK, man?

Vinegar: Not at all! It's just that we have an outline of what's going to... uh... happen and... uh.... hey, is that Alice
in Chains?

Hanson: Pfft!


(The spotlight holds steady on the ramp.

"......army green was no safe bet. The bullet screams to me from somewhere. Yeah, they come to snuff the rooster, aw yeah.

Yeah.... here come the rooster.... YEAH!"

At the last syllable, a crescendo into the chorus, a figure pops into view, tow-headed. He wears a heavily sequinned red robe that
glistens in the spotlight.)

Vinegar: Who IS that?

Hanson: HA! You're asking ME?

(The man, arms outstretched turns a flamboyant full circle at the base of the entrance ramp, arms outstretched, displaying the full
glory of his robe. The continued hush of the crowd doesn't seem to bother him. Beaming from ear to ear, the mystery man makes his
way down the aisle, attempting to slap fives and shake hands with GIW faithfuls. He is met coldly, even by the children.

The man shows a flash of confusion, but shakes it off quickly with a barely noticeable shrug and continues on his path towards the ring.

Avoiding the steps, he hops up upon the apron on one knee. He rises, then wipes his feet upon the apron, ducking into the ring as the
house lights rise. He turns another full circle in the middle of the ring, beaming ear to ear still as his music dies down. There is still
a noticeable silence amongst the crowd. The slightly overweight man in his upper thirties moves to the edge of the ring, calling for
a microphone. Once one is delivered, he inhales and exhales deeply into it...)


Badd: Finally... I... have... RETURNED!!

(The man pulls the microphone away from his face and looks toward the crowd, obviously expecting some kind of reaction. He gets absolutely
nothing in return, but it doesn't seem to shake him.)

Badd: Yes, my friends.... yes.. it is I.... PWI's 349th top ranked wrestler of 1989... "The Stud Rooster" Mikey B. Badd!)

Vinegar and Hanson: Who?

(The man now revealed as Mikey B. Badd pulls away from the microphone once again, looking towards the crowd for some sudden sense
of recognition. When he is offered nothing besides the awkward silence that began when his entrance music hit, he is surprisingly
unfazed. He pretends to acknowledge some fan on the east side of the ring before bringing the microphone back to his lips.)

Badd: It's been a long time since I've made an appearance here in the States..

(Badd waits again foolishly for a reaction that doesn't come)

Badd:... but I haven't forgotten a single one of you! You plumbers, you NASCAR fans, you redneck hayseeds, you high school drop outs and Medicaid beneficiaries...
.... your savior has RETURNED!!!

(Badd paces the ring, certain, in his mind, to receive a standing ovation from the fans. The cold silence is instead suddenly replaced
with a thick chorus of boos. Badd waves them off with a mischievous grin.)

Badd: Thank you, thank you! You have no idea how much I've missed you all, too! It's amazing... instead of spending your welfare check on food for your family you bought tickets to come see ME here tonight!

(The boos for Badd become rabid)

Badd: But seriously, folks. I haven't appeared in this ring tonight for no reason. I appear before you tonight because I want gold....
and all my dearest, richest friends informed me that this... uh... *quaint* little federation was the easiest place to get it!

(Trash is being tossed into the ring liberally by this point. Badd dodges the plastic cups and pretends they aren't even there)


Badd: I know! I SHOULD have a title match tonight! My credentials speak for themselves! Did I mention that I almost beat Misawa for the Triple Crown once?? Why, I had the former Tiger Mask II in a chickenwi....


Badd is interrupted by japanese sounding music that the GIW fans instantly recognize.)

Vinegar: Thank GOD! It's Mr. Deathmatch!

Hanson: I dunno, I was just getting interested. Almost won the All Japan triple crown? I like the cut of this guy's jib.

(The wild-eyed Aragato stalks his way down to the ring, almost looking confused by the raucous applause. He apparently enjoys it, though, and a barely noticeable smile appears on his face as he climbs the turnbuckle and hops down into the ring.

Mikey B. Badd eyes Aragato with a sparkle in his eye and a smile on his face. He applauds as Aragato glares around at the crowd and him, and whispers something to the Tokyo Terror before speaking once again into the microphone)

Badd: HEYYY there, buddy! Long time, no see! How ya been?

(Badd extends his right hand toward Aragato. The crowd has once again fallen silent, this time in anticipation. Will the crowd favorite shake the hand of this irritating new-comer?)

Vinegar: Wait.. this man knows Aragato??? He called him "buddy"...

Hanson: I might just be an Aragato fan after all...

(Aragato stares at Badd's extended hand, then looks towards the crowd, perhaps for advice. The audience is unanimous in their opinion with another chorus of boos. Aragoto squints suspiciously back at them before turning again towards the still grinning Stud Rooster.

Aragato takes a few steps towards Badd, still eying him cautiously. The boos rain down harder. Aragato responds with a sudden demented smile, maybe a sneer?. He crouches lower and starts toward Badd who hops back, slightly startled by Aragato's sudden movement. A wave of relief flashes over Badd's face as Aragato, slowly, reaches out his own hand, almost looking unsure of what to do with it.

But just as Mikey reaches to clasp "Mr. Hardcore"'s hand, Aragato pulls away. His demented smile gives way to drawn lips and a serious stare. The crowd pops for this turn of events, but Aragato ignores this, continuing a hard stare into the now frightened eyes of Mikey B. Badd. All of a sudden, Aragato rears back and Obsidian Scourges Badd's hand! Badd looks horrified as his hand and robe sleeve is covered with thick, black mist.

Aragato's music suddenly hits, and as if emerging from a trance, "Mr. Deathmatch" backs away, spider crawling out of the ring. Badd is appealing his case off-microphone and shouting angrily about his ruined sleeve and dirty hand as Aragato eyes him suspiciously, walking backwards up the entrance ramp)

Vinegar: Obviously some history here, folks. Hopefully we'll find out more in the coming weeks!

Hanson: But let's get to the REAL issue here, Nick. Aragato snubbed a man to man handshake! How disrespectful! How disgraceful! How absurdly rude! And then, he spits that foul stuff all over the man! Who let that slob in the GIW?!

Vinegar: To my memory, it was Our Fearless Leader, Declan Prescott, who used to highly praise him.

Hanson: But- Ah that was-Pfff, whatever...

[Lord Hastings]

Rather than the scene opening back up in the arena, we have been whisked backstage and the camera is following eD cASe as he strides purposefully past the locker rooms and directly to Declan Prescott’s office. He bangs on the door and lets himself in. Declan looks up from his desk.

Declan – ‘Jesus Christ, anyone but you again. Twice in one week, what have I done to deserve such torture.’

eD – ‘Just look at these’

eD slams down a bunch of photo’s with BoolZ and Mary-Joanna walking whilst grabbing ass on Declans desk. Although anyone who’s actually read other people’s promo’s know exactly whats been going on for some time now, it should be new to Declan, but the owner merely raises his eyebrows.

Declan – ‘So BoolZ has found himself another skank, so what?’

eD – ‘That’s Mary-Joanna! Have you never even seen a picture of her?’

Declan – ‘It’s not like Travis keeps the wedding and honeymoon pictures displayed in pride of place.’

eD – ‘I trust you realise how serious this is? Regardless of your feelings regarding what happened at Distant Whispers, surely you can see that the root of all our recent problems is that Succubus. Surely you recognise she is the one reason for Travis’ lapse of concentration, and you turning your back on him didn’t help...’

Declan – ‘Hey, Travis knew what’d happen if he failed, he shouldn’t have been surprised I dropped him like the rest of them.’

eD – ‘But that’s just it isn’t it. He’s not like the rest of them. He’s not Brandon Brown, Lord Deathman or Komosube, he’s ‘The Blessed One’, despite what the rest of the roster think ‘The Revolution’ was never a selfish venture based on stroking the ego’s of two great competitors. It was always about the stability of this company, ensuring that Travis Roberts’ charisma and personality continued to help this company grow. You can’t be expected to be the In-Ring flag bearer and behind the scenes geniusat the same time, and that’s where Travis came in.’

Declan – ‘Yeah and he failed, whether it was due to Mary-Joanna or his own inability to think on his feet. And what happened happened...’

eD – ‘C’mon, you know deep down, that if Travis finds out about BoolZ and MJ the wrong way, that’s it...he’ll be gone. He’ll turn his back on GIW and the whole industry, leaving you trying to fill the air with Alex Kiseragi promo’s! You really think you can keep this company at the top with BoolZ stumbling over his words on live TV? If Cara ever left you, he wouldn’t turn his back on you...’

As eD finishes laughter is heard coming from the corridor behind, and a brief moment later Randy Boolzian and Mary-Joanna Roberts come walking past, utterly consumed by one another. eD and Declan watch them walk past, and the yellow one looks up at Declan and raises his eyes.

eD – ‘At least keep him away from them until after the match, it’s the least you can do...’

Declan looks at eD, and then swiftly shoo’s him from the room, and slams the door behind as the yellow midget shuffles from the room. Declan then leans against the door and looks towards his ceiling, he sighs and then takes out his pone, and quickly types in a number.

Declan – ‘Yeah dude, it’s me, come up to my office, we need to talk...’

Back in the arena, Hanson and Vinegar both seem quite perplexed, before we cut to Mitchell Dennis.

Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a fatal four way. Introducing first at five foot eight inches and 165 pounds, this is Solomon!

A slow peaceful chorus of angelic hymns seems to come from everywhere but the speakers. The fans begin to cheer as Solomon enters the arena with his hood covering his head. He slowly walks to the ring, carefully ascends the steps, and enters the ring.

Vinegar: Well alright, there’s Solomon and his Bible. Talk about him if you want.

Hanson: Not really. Church scares me.

Vinegar: How can you be afraid of church?

Hanson: Bad times alright, just leave it alone.

Dennis: And from Northern Ireland standing six foot four inches and 252 pounds this is Raenius!

‘Warmageddon’ by Soulfly slithers out from the PA system until the arena lights shift to a dark haunting purple. Once the mood is set ‘Warmageddon’ explodes to life and Raenius methodically marches towards the ring.

Vinegar: If you say so. How about Raenius? Here’s a newcomer to the GIW who looks to becoming quite the force.

Hanson: Oh no. Star Wars reference aside my luck you’d end up saying something completely false, and I’d end up on his hit list. You know rumor has it he’s bringing Mickey Dragon back don’t you?

Vinegar: Actually I hadn’t heard that one. Heard anything about that mask of his?

Hanson: I’m not talking about it. Something creepy about that guy.

Dennis: From Harlem, New York standing a colossal six foot ten inches, and weighting it at a massive 500 pounds, this is Big B Brown!

The fans instantly begin cheering as ‘Slither’ by Velvet Revolver screeches over the system. Big B storms from the back, and stomps his way to the ring.

Vinegar: Well there you g…

Hanson: SHUT UP! Don’t move. He can’t see us if we don’t move.

Vinegar: Daniel we’re here every week. He knows we’re here. What’s the big deal?

Hanson: Son of a bitch look at him, and look at that ramp! He hasn’t eaten since making that journey from the back to the ring. Don’t move.

Vinegar: Jurassic Park?

Hanson: Shut up.

Dennis: And their opponent standing six foot four inches weighting in at 224 pounds this is the Crimson Ghost!

‘Crimson Ghost’ by the Misfits announces the red strobe lights are about to start. When they do the chorus kicks in ‘NEVER GONNA CATCH ME I’M THE CRIMSON GHOOOST!!!’ and the Crimson Ghost sprints from the back highfiving everyone. Even the people that would rather not.

Vinegar: I don’t suppose you want to talk about the Crimson Ghost either?

Hanson: Rather not.

Vinegar: Damn, this just might be my favorite series of entrances ever.

Hanson: Yeah well I get paid more than you, and fuck more pretty girls than you.

Vinegar: God I want you to die. Owen Peterson calls for the bell, and we’re underway!

Hanson: Good maybe those freaks will be to distracted, and I can finally think!

Vinegar: I knew it wasn’t going to last. And it looks like Ghost and Solomon are teaming up here in the opening minutes and are attempting to take Big B off is feet.

Hanson: Never work. Besides even if it did then what do you do to that fat motherfu..

Vinegar: More importantly it looks like Reanius is content in hanging back. Big B trying to punch his way out of the double team, but both Solomon and Ghost hit a pair of low dropkicks.

Hanson: Yeah that’s smart. Put yourself on the mat while trying to get a fat ass to fall.

Vinegar: Big B trying to shove his way out of the double team, and Ghost goes flying. Solomon with a series of kicks to Big B’s leg, then another low dropkick, and Big B goes to a knee.

Hanson: Look at him. That Reanius just isn’t right. He’s just watching like he’s planning or something.

Vinegar: Ghost out of no where with a running dropkick to the side of Big B’s head, and the giant is down!

Hanson: What a loser! What is Crimson Ghost doing? He’s hopping up and down like he just chopped down a tree.

Vinegar: Well it looks like Reanius has had enough, Ghost is jumping around, and Reanius plucks him out of the air with a vicious clothesline! Reanius jerks Ghost back to his feet and whips him to the corner before following him in with another huge clothesline!

Hanson: Solomon runs up the turnbuckles, leaps, twists and hits a corkscrew moonsault on Big B!

Vinegar: Peterson making the count!

Peterson: 1!

Vinegar: Reanius now unloading an absolute barrage of rights and lefts to Ghost in the corner!

Peterson: 2!!

Hanson: And Big B kicks out with authority! He almost threw Solomon right over the top rope with that.

Vinegar: Ghost trying to fight back in the corner, not sending his own rights and lefts into that mask of Reanius.

Hanson: Friggen masks? I mean those shots they’re throwing look like they’d hurt, but who can tell?

Vinegar: Big B back up now, Solomon with a head of steam, shoulder block and the big man is wobbly again!

Hanson: YES! Ghost with a kick to the twigs and berries of Reanius! Mask or no mask, goof ball or screw loose, doesn’t matter. If you’re willing to kick another man in the sack then you’re ok in my book!

Vinegar: Well Reanius has to be feeling that one as he staggers out of the corner. Ghost with a drop kick, and Reanius is down, Ghost springs back up, grabs hold of Reaniusesessssess’ legs…

Hanson: Easy for you to say.

Vinegar: Not really, sling shot into the turnbuckle, and Reanius seems dazed!

Hanson: Solomon with another shoulder block, but B wont go down. Jumping boot by God Boy, but B still wont go down! Another running shoulder block, no B counters with a huge Samoan Drop!

Vinegar: Ghost charges the dazed Reanius, Reanius uses the ropes to lift himself over Ghost, ties him up with his legs, then dives over the top rope! TARANTULA!

Hanson: Big B peels Solomon off the mat, and Peterson counting Reanius in the ropes!

Peterson: 1.

Vinegar: Well Reanius has to a five count!

Peterson: 2..

Hanson: Throat thrust from Solomon, and the big man is reeling again!

Peterson: 3…

Vinegar: Solomon attempts an STO, but B is just to big!

Peterson: 4….

Hanson: Irish whip instead! Damnit who knew HGH stood for Holy God Hormones?

Vinegar: Well Big B’s 500 pounds just broke Petersons count as B slams into the turnbuckle causing Reanius to loose his grip and fall to the floor!

Hanson: Oh and Reanius doesn’t look to happy… or sad… or angry… damn masks!

Vinegar: Solomon on the move, leaps over the Crimson Ghost, FULL FRONTAL!

Hanson: Talk about a sign! Reanius back in the ring, and caught Solomon in the air with that spear! Here’s the cover!

Peterson: 1!

Vinegar: Big B breaks that up rather emphatically with a 500 pound leg drop!

Hanson: Fatty now pulling Reanius to his feet, and locks in a huge bear hug!

Vinegar: Mask or no mask Reanius has got to be feeling that!

Hanson: Oh this kinda crap spooks me out! Solomon has that Bible, and looks like he’s preying for the Crimson Ghost.

Vinegar: Well Ghost looks like he’s looking for something in his tights. What is that?

Hanson: Oh you’re kidding me. Now Ghost is reading from that little black book.

Vinegar: Reanius fighting out of the bear hug with a series of hard elbow shots to Big B, Big B lets Reanius loose, Reanius staggers back, Superkic… no SIDEWALK SLAM by Big B!

Hanson: Well looks like both men done reading now, collar and elbow tie up, Solomon with a hammerlock, Ghost with a back elbow breaks the hold, Ghost turns, and now he’s just holding Solomon back.

Vinegar: No respect there from the Crimson Ghost as he keeps Solomon just far enough away.

Hanson: Big B pulls Reanius back up, and down with a spinebuster!

Vinegar: Big B dragging Reanius to the corner.

Hanson: B climbing to the second turnbuckle, he’s going to flatten Reanius!

Vinegar: Solomon breaks free of Ghosts taunting offense, grabs him by the ankles, and just turned Ghost head over heels, and the Crimson Ghost lands hard on his shoulder!

Hanson: Big B’s air born, Reanius moves, and Big B lands right on his coccyx! HA HA he just got a wrestling ring up the bum!

Vinegar: Reanius to his feet, Big B turns clearly in pain, SUPERKICK, and Big B is down!

Hanson: Yeah but Reanius turns right into that iron claw by Solomon!

Vinegar: He calls that ‘Out, Vile Demon’, and Reanius gripping Solomon’s arm, clearly that has to hurt!

Hanson: Wait, Reanius pulls Solomon in, front face lock, MODIFIED DISCUMBOO…

Vinegar: RIPPERSNAPPER! He calls it the RIPPERSNAPPER! Don’t you do any homework?

Peterson: 1!

Hanson: Homework’s for losers. Kids remember that!

Peterson: 2!!

Vinegar: Ghost and B both are starting to stir.

Peterson: 3!!!

Hanson: Too late.

Dennis: LADIES AND GENTELMEN HERE IS YOUR WINNER, REANIUS!!!

[Lord Hastings]

Backstage, Raenius sits in a chair in the middle of his locker room, after a hard fought victory, glaring emotionlessly through his Kabuki mask toward the door. Suddenly, a loud bang defecates upon the serenity of the room, though the Resident Evil does not flinch. Another bang and the hinges on the door begin to crack and break. Our hero remains motionless in his chair, arms folded.

Then, with an almighty and unceremonious crash, the door bursts off its hinges and lands several feet away from Raenius, splintered wood raining down and covering the floor. His ghostly countenance cocks to one side slowly as his eyes dart up and down the perpetrator of this offence.

Raenius: Welcome back, Michael.

As Mickey Dragon stands before Raenius, growling in anger, sporting a glare that could turn any normal man to stone. Raenius looks at his watch-less wrist.

Raenius: What the fuck kept you so long?

Dragon becomes a blur of colour as he rushes Raenius, lifting him from the seat and shoving him up against the wall in one fluid, brutal motion. Dragon, close to hyperventilation from his rage, begins to choke the life out of Raenius who simply stands there, allowing it to happen.

Mickey Dragon: Where is she?!

Raenius chokes out a laugh before Dragon throws him viciously to the ground while he continues to giggle, landing in a heap.

Mickey Dragon: WHERE…

He pulls Raenius’ head up by the hair.

Mickey Dragon: IS…

Leaning into the back of Raenius’ neck with his knee, Dragon lowers his head down to nearer to his victim’s level.

Mickey Dragon: CHASSIE!?

As he shouts her name, Dragon rips the Kabuki mask off Raenius and flings it across the room where it bounces off the wall and lands upon the ground with a soft, rubbery thud. Raenius’ laughter stops dead in that instant.

Raenius: C… can you still hear it? It’s still… still laughing at you…

He grunts a little.

Raenius: Can’t you hear it, Mickey?

Just as quickly as he arrived, Dragon leaves. Tossing Raenius aside like a rag doll and disappearing into the shadowy hallway. Remaining in the room, Raenius grabs his fallen mask and slides it back over his face once more.

Then he laughs.

Back in the arena, Andy Savana walks out to the top of the entranceway as ‘Bullet With Butterfly Wings’ by ‘Smashing Pumpkins’ blares out over the audio speakers.

Dennis: And weighing in at a weight of……………..a combined weight of 488 pounds Andy Savana and Ribz.

Hanson: Hehe.

Vinegar: What’s your problem?

Hanson: Nothing hehe.

Vinegar: You’re laughing at something.

Hanson: Well c’mon what an idiot; he’s his own tag team partner, how can you not laugh.

Vinegar: Ribz is his ‘partner’.

Hanson: And Ribz is Savana.

Vinegar: Let’s just agree that Ribz is as real as your ‘relationships’ with the ladies of GIW.

Hanson: But Ribz is non-existent, except in Savana’s loon mind.

Vinegar: Exactly.

Hanson: Wait…………what.

Whilst Daniel and Nicholas had kept each other busy, Andy Savana has made his way down to the ring now standing in the center of the ring gazing lopsidedly upwards as he runs a hand through his hair.

Hanson: I’m the grandmaster of poontang here in GIW Nic-ol-arse, these ladies worship my boots………………..just don’t tell their boyfriends. Please don’t tell their boyfriends.

Vinegar: Ahem…………….cameras Dan cameras…………….cough.

Hanson: That’s a nasty cold you’ve got Nic.

As GIW’s play by play announcer shakes his head at GIW’s color commentator as the lights dim down and you hear a slow beat going. It is the 'stomp-stomp-clap' beat from 'We Will Rock You' by Queen. After a few 'claps' the lights begin to follow the beat. They get louder as the lights start to brighter. Right when the lights get back to normal and the 'clap' beat hits again, Xavier Bryan walks onto stage the slow drum beat at the beginning of 'Honor' by Atreyu begins. A red spotlight lights up the stage behind Xavier. It begins to break apart and turn into the 'Rising Sun' symbol from the Japanese War Flag. Suddenly, a hole opens up inside the symbol and Marek Daisuke springs up from under the stage and executes a perfect front-flip over Xavier before landing on one knee, one fist on the ramp, the other arm aimed somewhat behind him, head down in front of Xavier. Marek gets to his feet and walks down the ramp with Xavier close behind.

Dennis: And his I mean their opponents first accompanied by Xavier Bryan; Marek Daisuke ‘War’ of ‘War & Peace’

Marek stops at the end of the ramp as does Xavier. Marek then runs a few steps, jumps and grabs the top rope and springs himself into the ring. The music then merges into 'Iron Man' by Black Sabbath. The rhythmic drumming is heard, shortly followed by the 'pang' of a hammer hitting metal. The guitar joins in and about 22 seconds in the song kicks in full bore and about 34 seconds in the vocals kick in. All eyes are on the stage. A short while passes and no one appears. The lights in the arena go out and a several spotlights begin to scan the arena. The spotlights scramble around and then converge on Ezekiel Pax who is in the audience. The lights return to normal and he sprints down the aisle and hurdles the guardrail. As his feet touch the ground, he springs into the ring over the bottom rope.

Dennis: And here’s Ezekiel ‘Peace’ Pax of ‘War & Peace’.

Zeke rolls to his feet and jumps onto a turnbuckle. Ezekiel soaks in the cheers as Marek does his pose on the opposite side. Without even looking at each other both men execute picture perfect back flips ala Londrick and turn towards each other. They shake hands as Ezekiel sheds his t-shirt and tosses it into the crowd.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen ‘War & Peace”.

Hanson: I think I’m getting high just off the fumes billowing from Xavier over there.

Vinegar: You’re just light headed because you’ve gone and infuriated Hastings, Severino, Prescott and the like by implicating their girlfriends and wives.

Hanson: Just provide the play-by-play Nic.

Vinegar: We’ve got Ezekiel starting things off against Savana……..

Hanson: Or is it Ribz? No-one knows!

Vinegar: Either way Ezekiel’s got a side headlock on the physical body of Andy Savana, his mind though is god knows where.

Hanson: Who cares where his mind is all that matters is that Hazel East’s coming over too my place later tonight. If ya know what I mean ya virgin!

Vinegar: Savana managing to muscle Ezekiel off of himself and now locks in a hammerlock, Ezekiel though locking both his feet around Savana’s leg and yanking it forward sending them crashing back to the ground as Zeke rolls out of the predicament quickly up to his feet before delivering a snap double knee drop crushing Savana’s chest.

Hanson: Its Ribz, I’m telling you Ribz is the legal man at the moment, Savana’s standing off in his corner waiti…………………hahahaha. I couldn’t do it.

Vinegar: Savana though rolling up too his feet as he squares up with Ezekiel and now a collar and elbow lock up. ‘Zeke’ with the quick switch behind and then a dropkick to the small of the back and a tag to his partner Marek who enters the match with a Sling Blade.

Hazel East: 1-2-

Vinegar: Savana though kicks out as Marek tags back in Ezekiel and the two lift him up onto the second rope in their corner, draping him out across it.

Hanson: Zeke now on Marek’s shoulders and power bombed off into a back flip war stomp.

Vinegar: I believe that’s called the ‘Power War Stomp’. Ezekiel now dragging Savana away from the ropes.

Hazel East: 1-2-

Vinegar: Again Savana kicks out, although he’s holding that lower back of his rather tentatively.

Hanson: He did just get his spine stomped in.

Vinegar: I’m the last person that has too have a wrestling move explained to me Dan! And you know it. Zeke now getting Savana up to his feet only Andy ahs other plans as he hits a jawbreaker sending Zeke stumbling back.

Hanson: Ribz doesn’t look too crash hot about it though, a shock must have gone up his spine!

Vinegar: Lucky guess Dan? Zeke though has the advantage of tagging back in Marek.

Hanson: Well Ribz can tag in Savana any time he wants!

Vinegar: Well he hasn’t……………so far as Marek’s now in the ring coming at and taking Savana down with that Muay Thai flying knee he’s named the ‘Missile Knee’.

Hazel East: 1-2-

Hanson: Ribz kicking out as he clutches at his jaw.

Vinegar: Trying to pull himself up using the ropes AND Marek coming at him but Savana sidesteps him and grabs at his hair and slingshots him off the top rope throat first before dropping a knee right on his stomach.

Hanson: Desperation there from Ribz whose still down on his knees now rolling over for a pin attempt.

Hazel East:……………….

Hanson: Not even a 1 count. HI-LARY-ARSE.

Vinegar: Both men getting to their feet Marek looking back at Zeke who shrugs in his direction, possibly telling him ‘he can handle it’.

Hanson: Both men now trading shots, Marek getting the better though with a series of vicious elbows.

Vinegar: AND MY GOD LOOK AT SAVANA. He’s bleeding from several lacerations across his face.

Hanson: Well the point of the elbow is on of the sharpest parts on the human body, especially when swung like that.

Vinegar: So read the book I gave you last Christmas?

Hanson: No; that’s just basic common knowledge.

Vinegar: Savana though obviously not quite crazy enough to not realize he’s bleeding profusely as he holds his hands up to his face, smattering them in blood. He charges at Marek knocking him back as Ezekiel makes a blind tag.

Hanson: I don’t think Ribz saw the tag as his attention is still on Marek who rebounds off the ropes and ducks the attempted clothesline.

Vinegar: Hey that’s my job. No such luck for Savana though who couldn’t avoid that slingshot High Beam from Ezekiel.

Hanson: That kid sure did get high.

Vinegar: Marek still in the ring though, both members of War & Peace now circling Savana.

Hanson: Did you see what I did there? High. As in ‘high’! Ya know?

Vinegar: Ezekiel’s actually the one who doesn’t smoke pot Dan!

Hanson: Awwww shadup.

Vinegar: Ezekiel though now taking a hold of Savana’s upper body as Marek lifts up his upper body and BAM there it is the ‘W.P. Airways Express’. Now Ezekiel going for the cover.

Hanson: But Marek stopping him, as good a time for a chat as any I suppose.

Vinegar: Well they are conversing and now dragging Savana over to his own corner each with a hold of one of Savana’s hands.

Hanson: There taking him out to the ring apron?

Vinegar: Seems so!

Hanson: And now there standing him up outside the ring on the apron?

Vinegar: Seems so. And they’ve just clapped both of Savana’s hands together.

Hanson: Was that a tag?

Daniel Hanson gets up to his feet both hands over his headset.

Hanson: Well was that a tag?

Vinegar: I don’t know hell not even Hazel East seems to know.

Hanson: That was a tag Nic, Ribz just tagged Savana in.

Vinegar: And with a shrug of the shoulders and a perplexed look Hazel calls it a ‘tag’.

Hanson: So whose legal now Savana or Ribz?

Vinegar: I though you were sure Ribz was legal before?

Hanson: Well they both look so alike, they must be identical twins.

Vinegar: Well whatever one wasn’t legal before.

Hanson: This is all too much for me.

At this Daniel Hanson actually falls to the ground in a fit of laughter, unable to contain himself anymore as he rolls around on the ground underneath the announce table.

Vinegar: Well the show must go on, and Marek has just tossed Savana or I think it’s Ribz now back into the ring as Ezekiel climbs the turnbuckle and here it is ‘Xavier Bryan Presents’.

Hazel East: 1-2-3!

Vinegar: War & Peace have it.

Hanson at this point gets back up to his feet adjusting his collar as he nonchalantly sits down.

Dennis: Here are your winners Marek Daisuke and Ezekiel Pax ‘War & peace’.

Hanson: Hey Dennis who lost? Who was pinned? Announce it!

Mitchell Dennis merely shrugs his shoulders before taking his seat.

Vinegar: That little ‘thing’ won’t hurt your status as the ‘grand master of poontang’ at all will it partner?

Hanson: Of course not Nic.

Xavier Bryan climbs into the ring standing alongside his ‘boys’ as Savana/Ribz rolls out of the ring falling to the floor.

Hanson: Savana never seemed to have it at all during this match, almost like he couldn’t be bothered, or some aspect of his life away from GIW kept him busy.

Xavier, Marek & Ezekiel then leave the ring making their way towards the back as the fans shower them with praise.

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: It’s time for our penultimate contest of the night…

‘Immortal’ starts to play and Donovan Hastings and Calypso Desmona walk out onto the ramp.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring, from Hartford Connecticut, weighing in at 230lbs and accompanied to the ring by Calypso Desmona. The Lord of Pain, Donovan Hastiiiiiings!!!

Hastings slides into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, posing for a moment before climbing down, taking off his cloak and passing it to Calypso on the outside. His music cuts out, replaced by Diamond in the Rough. The lights go down and a few gold spotlights fall on the top of the ramp where Jack and Gabrielle are now stood.

Dennis: And the opponent, accompanied to the ring by Gabrielle, from Christchurch New Zealand, weighing in at 280lbs, Diamond Jack Severinooooooo!!!

Hanson: You’ve got to wonder if Jack’s mind is going to be entirely on this match after his house burning down this week.

Vinegar: Oh yeah, that was truly tragic. How could such a thing have happened?

Hanson: That almost sounded sarcastic.

Vinegar: No? Did it?

Hanson: Yeah, so did that.

Vinegar: Well there’s a reason for that?

Hanson: …which is?

Vinegar: You’re a tool.

Jack climbs into the ring. Outside, Calypso and Gabrielle are staring daggers at each other across the mat.

Vinegar: I wonder how many people are actually focussed on the action in the ring and not that outside.

Hanson: Probably Kiseragi, that’s about it.

Vinegar: I can’t wait until you get sued.
Hanson: Never gonna happen. I’m fire proof.

Vinegar: Hmm…interesting.

Hanson: What?

Vinegar: Nothing. That’s the bell and these guys are going, circling each other. Jack dives in first and gets a single leg takedown. Tries to go into the headlock but Hastings fights out and gets back to his feet.

Hanson: No seriously, what?

Vinegar: Nothing, don’t worry. Hastings in first this time and locks in the half nelson, switching it into a waist lock but DJS able to grab the ropes and Hastings has to let it go.

Hanson: Don’t just say interesting like that then say nothing. What’s interesting?

Vinegar: Nothing, really. Drop it. Severino tries to capitalise on the break and goes for a clothesline but gets caught with a drop toe hold. Hastings looks like he’s trying to get the Hands of Fate but Jack struggles out and gets back to his feet.

Hanson: Tell me dammit!

Vinegar: It’s nothing. Please, try to call the match. Severino goes for a fireman’s carry but Hastings twists and lands on his feet, pulling his opponent through with an arm drag.

Hanson: I can’t call the match until you tell me!

Vinegar: Fine, I was thinking about setting you on fire. Happy?

Hanson: That’s not funny.

Vinegar: No, but your crying was. DJS follows up with an arm drag of his own, Hastings rolls out though and counters with a second, holding it for an arm lock this time.

Hanson: Hmm…interesting.

Vinegar: What? Severino kicks up to his feet and turns the lock into an arm wrench on Hastings, hammerlock and a double leg take down, going back to the well again with the grounded side headlock and locking it in this time.

Hanson: Oh, it’s nothing.

Vinegar: Ok. Hastings fighting back up and forcing Severino to the ropes. Sets him off running and hit’s a hip toss on the rebound, dropping straight into a chin lock
Hanson: What? How does that not burn you up inside!?

Vinegar: You wouldn’t be interested. Severino pulls himself across the mat and gets a foot on the rope. Hastings holds it for the four count before referee Hazel East forces the break.

Hanson: No tell me how.

Vinegar can just be heard laughing uncontrollably.

Hanson: Dammit.

Vinegar: Idiot. These two are squaring off again, collar and elbow lock up in the middle of the ring this time, Hastings turning it into a side headlock but countered with a back belly suplex by the Blue Eyed Devil.

Hanson: Hey I like both these guys…

Vinegar: Glad you’ve finally registered there’s a match going on. Who do you want to win?

Hanson: Gabrielle.

Vinegar: Gabrielle’s not in the match.

Hanson: So, she’ll still win, and when she wins, we all win.

Vinegar: Your logic never fails to baffle me. DJS has set Hastings up slumped down in the corner and he’s stomping away at him, then choking him with that boot across the throat.

1!

2!

3!

4!

Vinegar: Jack breaks the choke and saunters back towards the opposite turnbuckle and takes a little time out to show off his physique.

Hanson; That’s confidence right there.

Vinegar: Maybe so but he’s letting Hastings get back to his feet and he just clocked him with a clothesline to the back and forced him into the corner.

Hanson: Cheap shot.

Vinegar: I thought you liked him.

Hanson: Oh yeah, good strategy.

Vinegar: Good recovery. Hastings following up with those knife edge chops across the chest of Severino.

Hanson: I knife edged chopped yo momma.

Vinegar: That makes no sense. Unless you actually did, which would just be weird.

Hanson: …

Vinegar: Anyways…DJS battling out, the two exchanging shots, one for one. Jack gaining the upper hand and running off the ropes. Vicious bicycle kick and the first pin attempt of the match.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out by Hastings.

Hanson: Jack doesn’t look to happy about that. He’s insisting it should have been a three.

Vinegar: He can insist all he wants, it’s not going to change anything. He’s pulling Hastings back to his feet though, hefting him up onto his shoulders. Could be the Glass Jaw.

Hanson: This is going to be it…maybe…I don’t know.

Vinegar: Thanks for your insightful contribution. Severino brings the knee up but Hastings lands on his feet and pulls him straight up into Destiny’s Call!!!

Hanson: Hey hey, Gabrielle’s up on the apron showing Hastings what she’s got.

Vinegar: Hastings distracted for the moment but I don’t think Calypso is happy. She just dragged Gabrielle off the apron and threw her into the crowd barrier. These men’s partners brawling outside the ring.

Hanson: It’s done the trick though. Severino’s back to his feet.
Vinegar: And he’s waiting for Hastings to turn back. Right into a Rise of Brutality! That just shook the ring. Pin.

1!

2!

3!

Vinegar: This ones over.

Dennis: Here is your winner, Diamond Jack Severinoooooo!!!

[Lord Hastings]

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight’s main event is a Fatal Four Way Match...

“The Air That I Breathes” comes flooding over the PA system, and Global Impact Wrestling’s owner, Declan Prescott appears on the stage, dressed in his ring attire and clutching a microphone of his own.

Vinegar; Oh god, what does he have to say now, wasn’t inserting himself in the Main Event enough of an ego rub for this guys last week. Do we really need to hear more from him?

Hanson: Show some damn respect, he’s your boss, and if has something to say, he has every right to use his show to express his views...

Mitchell Dennis looks at his cue cards and looks quite confused, and looks towards Declan.

Declan: Sorry to interrupt you Mitchell, and you are right to look confused. The GIW Hardcore Champion was indeed meant to make his entrance first, but there have been a few changes to tonight’s advertised main event.

Vinegar: Oh for god’s sake, can this man resist throwing his weight and power around?

Declan: You see, the idea of a Fatal Four Way match never crossed the desk of the owner of Global Impact Wrestling. The entire card was booked without my approval or say so. So far the matches have been acceptable, but I just had to step in now, and correct what could have been a hideous tragedy.

Vinegar: Worried he’d get his ass handed to him tonight?

Declan: Now I know what you are all thinking, because you’re all oh so predictable. You are all thinking I’m too frightened of losing, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. What financial sense does it make for me to prove to you all, weeks before Horizons takes place, that there is only going to be one result at our biggest Pay-Per-View of the year. Sure, at Horizons the match will take place in a Cell, but the result will be the same. Why giove away the ending now? Why give you all for free what I can get you all to pay for in a matter of week’s time? Why risk my companies buy rate and financial success?

Vinegar: How about the fact that these guys all paid to see a Fatal Four Way? What the hell’s he going to do, have BoolZ, Kiseragi and Roberts face off in a No-DQ match to soften them all up....

Declan: Now, what are we going to do about the main event tonight. Well in the space of the last week or so, it has become clear that I may have been rash in my judgement of my opponents abilities to represent our company. With reflection, although it is true that Randy Boolzian and Alex Kiseragi have the marketability of a pair of leprosy ridden rapists and on their own any PPV main event would fall face first into its own vomit.

Vinegar: Always a charming man...

Declan: But I fear I have been a little rash in the conclusions drawn regarding Travis Roberts. ‘The Blessed One’ is far more capable than Randy or Alex of keeping the viewing public glued to their screens, a fact that has become increasingly more apparent over the past couple of weeks whilst ‘The Headliner’ has taken a well earned rest from work in front of the Camera.

Vinegar: Am I hearing this right, is Declan Prescott praising Travis Roberts, just a week after he called him a degenerate?

Declan: You see, although Travis Roberts was disappointing at Distant Whispers, information has reached me that sheds a new light on the whole affair. It is information that has meant I have had to reassess the options open to Global Impact Wrestling, given my initial doubts over ‘The Headliners’ abilities. It seems that some people in this world, are happy to take their battles inside our company, and try and actually interfere in the personal lives of their co-workers. This kind of behaviour is not taken lightly by myself.

Vinegar: That’s rich coming from ther guy who’d probably set up a match between Brandon Browns Grandmother and a tank of Piranhas’ if he thought it’d get him an advantage.

Declan: So tonight, you will not be seeing a Fatal Four way match, but you will be seeing all four of the advertised competitors in action in a Tag Team Match. And I’ll start things off by introducing my partner, ‘The TWiSteD Guerilla’ himself, the other half of ‘The Revolution’, Travis Roberts!

The opening notes of ‘Bummer’ resonate around the arena and Declan Prescott turns to welcome ‘The Blessed One’ as he walks through the curtains, both me n raise the others arm in the air and a set of pyrotechnics shoot up in the air...

Vinegar: I knew these guys couldn’t keep away from each other...and where did they come up with those pyro’s at such short notice...

Hanson: Who cares, all that matters is ‘The Revolution’ are reunited...

Vinegar: I shudder to think what that means for GIW in the lead up to Horizons.

Hanson: Well firstly, tonight it means they are gonna display exactly what awaits The Hardcore Champion and The Global Heavyweight Champion at GIW’s biggest PPV to date. When the dust settles at Horizon’s it will have been one member of ‘The Revolution’ who will have united all three belts that are on the line.

Vinegar: I’m not quite so sure they’ll be able to work as a team in that Cell, it’s obvious there are some issues between the two. And a Hell In A Cell match is the exact kind of environment that will force those issues to the surface.

Hanson: We’ll see...

Travis and Declan make their way to the ring, Declan quickly notices that Mary-Joanna Roberts is sitting dead centre and front row. He quickly steers Travis in the direction of a Buxom Young fan, to distract ‘The Headliner’ from the sight of his ex-wife who has squeezed her ample bosoms into a skinny fit, BoolZ T-Shirt. He then Ushers Travis into the ring, and chooses the turnbuckle backing away from Mary-Jo as their corner, and begins discussing tactics with ‘The Blessed One’ whilst ensuring he doesn’t catch sight of Mary-Joanna.

The can of Red Bull is popped open, the cigarette is lit and “Wonder What’s Next” filters into the arena...

Vinegar: Listen to the fans, THEY know what’s next, no need to wonder for them.

Dennis: And introducing their opponents, firstly from Oceanside, California he is the current GIW Hardcore Champion...RAAAAAANDY BOOOOOOOLZIAN!!!!

Randy Boolzian steps out onto the stage, cigarette hanging from his lips, and a cold Red Bull in his right hand. He raises it in salute to the fans that cheer his name. He then makes his way to the ring and climbs in, he instantly see Mary-Jo and leans over the ropes to flirt with her for the camera’s. Declan meanwhile keeps Travis’ attention elsewhere by continuing to talk tactics.

Vinegar: Well, I wonder what the Hardcore Champion is thinking right now. His mentality has to change, and he’s gonna have to team up with the man he most wants to beat, The Global Heavyweight Champion...

Hanson: Yeah, he may WANT to beat Kiseragi, but he HAS to beat The Revolution if he wants to fulfil his trailer park dreams of becoming Global Heavyweight Champion. And tonight, they are gonna show why they are just too smart for that, and too good to be beaten by an inbred junkie.

“Teahouse” hits and the fans continue to cheer their appreciation.

Dennis: And his partner, from San Francisco, California, he is the Global Heavyweight Champion of GIW...ALEEEEEEX KIIIIIIIISEEEAAAAGIIIIIIII!!!!

‘The Dragon’ steps onto the stage, Global Heavyweight Title strapped tightly around his waist and he looks out across the fans, nodding in approval. He then pauses, and throws his two round house kicks which, as ever are followed by two small Pyro’s, he once again nods his head in approval. He then hits his trademark split legged backflip, but lands to discover no pyro has gone off in such time. He raises his eyebrows, and then makes his way to the ring.

Hanson: That’s where the Pyro came from...

Vinegar: I can’t believe The Revolution stole the Global heavyweight Champions pyro...

Hanson: It was an important moment, the reuniting of The Revolution deserved to be marked with such theatrics...

The Global heavyweight Champion climbs into the ring, he and Randy just nod to one another, before their titles are removed from them and taken to the outside. Glenn Burke, then asks for the two starting athletes to get in the ring, and Declan and Randy Boolzian are the first two. And the bell is rung.

Vinegar: And this match is now underway, Randy and Declan both nose to nose, Declan seems to have a few choice words for The Red Bull Icon, but BoolZ is just smirking and rolling his eyes. And then he strikes out at the Owner, hitting him first with an open left hand, and then sweeps him from his feet. Randy now looking down on Declan, and he laughs, only for Declan to nip up, and deliver a blow to Boolzian’s midsection on the way up...

Hanson: Declan now grabbing Randy’s skull, and drives it into the mat with a solid DDT. He then turns him over looking for the quick pin...1...2...

Vinegar: No Randy gets a shoulder up and Declan moves from his body, and tags in The Blessed One, who wastes no time in laying the boot into Randy Boolzian as he makes his way up from the canvas. He aims a second quick, but BoolZ’s lightening quick reflexes enable him to catch the second attempt and spin Travis to the floor. Travis breaks his fall, and his still protected hand crashes into the canvas. Randy Boolzian now makes his way to his corner, and tags in The Dragon. Who stands back, until Travis makes his way to his feet, A-Kis launches and hits a swinging neckbreaker, sending Travis back down to the canvas.

Hanson: And now Kiseragi drags the former Global heavyweight Champion to his feet and then hits him with a swift vertical suplex, and floats over into a pin...1....2...no chance, ‘The Headliner’ kicks out and makes his way to his feet, Kiseragi swings a clothesline, but Roberts ducks under The Dragons arm, turns and hits Kiseragi with a Full Nelson Slam, and then blances against the ropes to gain composure...

Vinegar: But Kiseragi gets to his ffet in quick time, and kicks the Blessed One in the gut doubling him over...DRAGON TAIL!!! THE CHAMP GETS HIS FINISHER...1...2...

Hanson: Declan Prescott makes the save, just milliseconds before ‘The Headliner’ would have kicked out anyway...

Vinegar: Keep telling yourself that, regardless Alex is back up now, and he quickly hits Declan Prescott with a Huricanrana for his troubles, and BoolZ decides he’s going to get some of the action climbs into the ring and hits ‘The Headliner’ with a devastating spear. Both men start pounding away on the Revolution members, and Glenn Burke decides to grab Randy and get him out of the ring first, and then turns his attention to getting Kiseragi off of Declan...but catches an elbow in his face and goes down...

Hanson: Sometimes it’s just safer to let this kind of thing get out of control...Travis is now on his feet, and takes advantage and hits Kiseragi in the back of the head with a drop kick, and The Global Heavyweight Champion rolls off of Declan Prescott, who quickly rolls out of the ring...

Vinegar: And predictably he’s gone straight for a chair, and slid back in the ring...but wait...Yasutoki Kiseragi has just lept over the guard rail and he’s now maiing his way into the ring, as is Randy Boolzian...

Hanson: Travis has spotted Yatu...Yasu...Alex’s father and he intercepts him with a kick to the gut...WHITE OUT!!!!

Vinegar: Jesus Christ, he just nailed an elderly man...

Hanson: He’s not that old... and Declan has spotted Randy Boolzian...BOOM! He slams that chair into The Red Bull Icons face...

Vinegar: This is exactly why I hate The Revolution, they ruin each and every match they are in..but wait, someone else has just got in the ring...

Hanson: Brandon Brown?

Vinegar: Yes! And Prescott hasn’t noticed him...and the owner of GIW turns with that chair...and eats a SUPERKICK!!! The chair crashes into Declan’s face and sends the owner of GIW to the canvas...

Hanson: But Travis Roberts has noticed and he charges at Brown, who sidesteps and sends ‘The Blessed One’ into the ropes...

Vinegar: And on The Headliners return he kicks him in the gut...BRAINBUSTER ONTO THE CHAIR!!! Brown slides out of the ring, just as Glenn Burke gets to his feet, to see Alex Kiseragi climb to the top rope...450 SPLASH TO TRAVIS ROBERTS!...he makes the cover...1...2....3!!!

Dennis: Here are yours winners, via pinfall...

Declan: Hold it right there...

Vinegar: Declan has just climbed out of the ring and snatched Mitchell Dennis’ microphone from him...

Declan: This match is not over...but your career is Brandon Brown...SECURITY!!! Apprehend this man and have him escorted from the building...

Brandon Brown was backing his way up the ramp until this point, but now he stops in his tracks and looks behind himself, to see Professor Bling and his posse making their way down the ramp....

Vinegar: This is a travesty! Declan Prescott can’t take the same treatment he dishes out to his opponents...so he just fires Brandon Brown...

Hanson: I personally can’t believe it’s taken this long...

Prof. Bling’s Crew reach Brandon but they keep on walking...

Declan: What the hell do I pay you guys for...THAT is Brandon Brown, the guy on the ramp...what the hell are you doing...

Half of Bling’s posse crawl into the ring, and the other head towards Declan Prescott. They then restrain both Declan and Travis...

Declan: take your hands off of me, who the hell do you think you are! You guys all want to join Brandon Brown on the unemployment line...think seriously boys, we are in a recession...

All of a sudden a new voice booms across the arena....

Mystery Voice: DAMN MOTHAFUCKA! DON’T YOU EVER SHUT THE FUCK UP NIGGA?

Declan drops the microphone and looks over to Travis as the crowd begin mumbling between themselves, in shock at the fact anyone would talk to The Significant Player in such a way. Within moments though the entire crowd is silences and their gaze pulled to underneath the Globatron, by the sound of gunfire.

The camera’s follow the crowds view, and switch from the shocked looks on Declan and Travis faces to the stage, and the owner of the mystery voice. Standing below the Globatron, tommy gun pointed in the air stands...a Penguin. The Penguin is smoking on a Cigar and holding a microphone...

Penguin : THAT’S RIGHT NIGGA’S, THE REVOLUTIONS WORST NIGHTMARE HAS COME TRUE, BOSS PENGUIN IS IN GIW!!!

Hanson; Oh shit, not Boss Penguin...

Vinegar: What the fuck?

Boss P: YOU SEE NIGGA’S I WAS SITTING BACKSTAGE TRYING TO THINK OF THE BEST WAY TO BREAK MY NEWS TO YOU MOTHAFUCKA’S! THEN YOU CAME OUT HERE, WITH YOUR BIG FUCKING MOUTH FLAPPING IN THE WIND, ALTERING MATCHES...AND I REALISED I NEEDED TO REIGN YOU IN SOON!

Vinegar: What news?

Hanson: He’s probably planning to brutally murder them on Live TV...no-one has ever seen him in public before, he wouldn’t take this kinda risk unless it was something big...

BOSS P: YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, BOSS PENGUIN HAS GOT THE REVOLUTIONS NUMBER! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST FIRE WHOEVER YOU WANT, AND MAKE ANY FUCKING CHANGES YOU SEE FIT? WELL NIGGA, I’M HERE TO TELL YOU...THOSE DAYS ARE OVER!!!

Vinegar: What is he talking about?

Hanson: I don’t want to know...I don’t really wanna be in the same building with him.

BOSS P: YOU SEE, THE SPONSORS AND GIW BOARD HAVE GOT INCREASINGLY PISSED OFF WITH YOUR MEGLOMANIAC WAYS! IT WAS JUST LAST WEEK NIGGA’S, WHILST YOU WERE ON YOUR WAY BACK FROM LONDON, THAT THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ GUN TOTING, CIGAR SMOKING, SON OF A BIRD GOT APPOINTED GIW’S FIRST EVER MOTHAFUCKIN’ ENFORCER!!!

Vinegar: What the hell is one of those?

BOSS P: AS OF LAST WEEK NIGGA, YOUR WORD AIN’T WORTH SHIT ROUND THIS PLACE! FROM NOW ON, I MAKE THE MATCHES AS I SEE FIT MOTHAFUCKA. I BOOKED THIS WEEK’S CARD NIGGA, AND I ONLY LET YOU ALTER IT FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE EXPERIENCE NIGLET, CAUSE IT’S THE LAST MATCH YOU’LL BE MAKING HERE IN GIW...

Brandon Brown, Randy Boolzian and Alex Kiseragi are all standing in shock, but now their faces start to break out into huge smiles, at the expense of the Revolution.

Vinegar: I think I like this...bird?

BOSS P: I HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN KEEPING UP, ‘CAUSE BOSS PENGUIN WAS IN CHARGE LAST WEEK. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS NIGGA’S? IT MEANS DECLAN PRESCOTT HAD NO RIGHT TO PLACE HIMSELF IN THE HORIZONS MAIN EVENT! ‘CAUSE EACH AND EVERY NIGGA IN THIS COMPANY, IS NOW BOSS P’S BITCH, INCLUDING YOU DECLAN!

Vinegar: Is he kicking Declan out of the main event at Horizons...

BOSS P: DON’T BE TOO WORRIED NIGGA, YOU STILL OWN THIS PLACE, JUST YOU CAN’T MAKE ANY DECISIONS THAT IMPACT ON THE COMPETITION IN THIS HERE HOUSE! SUCH AS HIRING, OR FIRING, STAFF, IT’S BOSS P THAT MAKES THOSE CALLS, AND YOU BETTER BE HEARIN’ THIS SHIT NIGGA! ‘CAUSE BRANDON BROWN AIN’T GOING NOWHERE, IN FACT HE’S GONNA GET REAL CLOSE TO YOU, REAL SOON HOMIE! CAUSE YOU AIN’T CHALLENGING FOR THE GLOBAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, WHAT THE FUCK HAS YOUR ASS DONE TO DESERVE THAT? NO...AT HORIZONS, NIGGA, YOUR GONNA GO ONE ON ONE WITH THE MAN YOU JUST CAN’T BEAT....BRANDON BROWN!!!

Vinegar: Brandon Brown vs Declan Prescott at Horizons...that’s gonna be a hell of a showdown, listen to the fans they love the idea....and look at Declan and Travis’ faces, it’s classic, they don’t know what’s just happened...they’ve just been metaphorically castrated live on national TV.

BOSS P: AND DON’T THINK BOSS P HAS FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOUR ASS TRAVIS, I AIN’T FINISHED WITH YOU EITHER. JUST BECAUSE BOOLZ WANTS THAT TWiSTED FIGHT CLUB TITLE, IT DON’T MEAN YOUR UNTOUCHABLE. BUT THIS WEEK, I BET YOU HAVE ENOUGH ON YOUR HANDS, WHAT WITH THAT EX-HO OF YOURS FUCKIN’ THAT NIGGA WITH THE HARDCORE TITLE...

BoolZ just keeps smiling and gives a sideways glance to Travis, who is still being restrained. ‘The Blessed One’ at first looks shocked, but then just shrugs his shoulder and rolls his eyes...

Vinegar: I don’t buy that Travis doesn’t care about that, he may be acting nonchalantly, but he ain’t gonna be happy about BoolZ screwing his wife...

BOSS P: YOU! NIGGA WITH THE RED BULL! DON’T THINK I’VE FORGOTTEN YOU FRAMED ME FOR THE THEFT OF THE BLESSED ONES SINK, I DIDN’T NEED THAT KIND OF SHIT ON MY DOORSTEP. JUST WATCH YOUR STEP NIGLET, YOU DON’T WANNA GET ON THE WRONG SIDE OF BOSS PENGUIN...AND THOSE GOES FOR EVERY NIGGA IN G I MUTHAFUCKIN W . THE ERA OF THE REVOLUTION IS OVER...WHO’S HOUSE IS GIW? BOSS PENGUINS HOUSE, NIGGA’S!’

With that Boss Penguin fires another round from his Tommy Gun into the air, and the feed from the show is cut off.

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

American Muscle vs. Cyanide and Savior
Andy Savana

Fear vs. McSkinny
Declan Prescott

Stud Rooster’s Debut
Hiroshima and Mikey B. Badd

eD Speaks To Declan
Travis Roberts

Fatal Four Way
Randy Boolzian

Raenius Backstage
R factorial

Savana and Ribz vs. W&P
Jack Severino

Hastings vs. Severino
Alex ‘Cooler Than Bryan’ Kiseragi

Awesome Main Event
T-Robbo