Post by cooltubesource on Feb 22, 2020 18:38:27 GMT -5
Monday
February 17, 2020
fuzz
fuzz
fuzz
clarity
“MUCH better!”
Sarah Grey-Lacklan smiles as she adjusts the glasses on her nose and blinks away the stars at the edge of her vision. Her eyes ached from wearing her thick contacts for the last few hours, and she knew that it would be some time until that pain was gone, but she was happy to be able to see fully again. Showered and rested from her match against Konrad Raab earlier in the evening, the World Champion is again dressed in one of her hand-stitched dresses, this one black and red with tiny spider webs lining the EXTRA puffy sleeves, with the belt of gold strapped across her waist.
“Now, tell me what you learned from the History of UGWC booklet I gave you?”
Beside her, looming high into the sky, is the gargantuan Thunder, his mask stowed away in his bag to show a strong face with dark brown hair and beard. His dark eyes blink. And blink. And blink again.
“wut”
“Oh, for the love of…”
Sarah sighs with extreme exasperation as she throws her hands up into the air.
“Why does NO ONE but my baby sister pay attention to my lessons? Well, and the Cutie, too. Pretty sure she takes detailed notes. As she should!”
Sarah gestures toward their left with frantic motions.
“Look, ya big lug! Look at our Coalition peers. Look and learn!”
As they stand near the entrance of the Synergy Arena, they take in the goings-on of wrestling talent and staff alike as they tear down another successful weekly show. Synergy #303 had included a friendly face-off between the World Champion and the Global Challenge winner, a divorce-turned custody battle-turned mob hit(?), LOTS of shenanigans with the current Creative Director, and an entertaining Cross-Hemisphere match in the Main Event, and there was a feeling of general satisfaction from the crew. Sarah’s waving hands...which were in black and red gloves with tiny diamonds at the fingertips, because of course they were...point out some of the passersby.
“Much of the staff have been around since the very first match, nearly ten years ago. Like, Greg over there? Makes coffee. And Janet? Started as a gopher and now does some of the post work for the website.”
Suddenly, her eyes darken behind her glasses.
“Oh, but FUCK THAT guy! I HATE him.”
Even Thunder, literally on his first day, can understand the hatred for Todd the Intern as he walks by.
“You’ll get to know the various refs, of course...Hazel is my fave, obviously…”
“Me understand. Boobs.”
“...but Glenn is the one in charge, so make sure you stay on his good side. Mitchel is a decent enough ring announcer, though he doesn’t hold out the ‘-rah’ long enough...it really should be ‘Sa-RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’, ya see…you can ignore every single backstage interviewer, by the way. Its literally just three people who sound completely different every day. Honestly, its kinda weird. And whatever you do, do NOT bring up Boss P. Mackenzie gets TRIGGERED.”
Behind her, Thunder blinks several times.
“Thunder does not know Boss P..”
Sarah shakes her head and waves her hand dismissively.
“A racist and foul-mouthed penguin.”
She waves dismissively again in response to more confused blinks.
“Oh! And sometimes the match announcers decide that getting themselves over is WAY more important than what’s going on in the ring. Covert Jay is pretty cool, though. Except for that one time he thought he could hook up with me. I mean, c’mon, who tells the world about their desire to hook up with a married woman, right?”
Thunder’s forehead suddenly shines with sweat.
“Um...me mean...you know...the Thunder thinks that sounds dumb…”
“Thank you!!
Thunder lets out a sigh filled with relief as Sarah bounces on her heels in sudden excitement and does not notice the massive man’s obvious worry.
“Oh look! Some of our peers!”
Indeed, various Entertainment Professionals make their way out of the doors of the Synergy Arena, each looking to head to their homes or apartments or hotels, as was their wont.
“Everyone has a place to go, ya know? Well, except for TRoberts. We make him stay in the boiler room and then hose him down with one of those power washer things when its time for a match.”
Thunder blinks and Sarah waves her hands at him.
“Write this down!”
Sarah reaches down into her bag...an athletics bag personally commissioned by YSL that makes Angie turn bright pink with jealousy...and pulls out a legal pad, which she then shoves towards Thunder.
“I’ll get you a proper notebook when you come over later in the week for training. I have, like, hundreds, and will get you one more befitting your gigantic hands. Now!”
She claps her hands and turns back to the various people leaving while Thunder tries his best to deal with the 5’2” Mafia-sized pen.
“Now, the dude in the nice suit with sunglasses on even though its night time? That’s Vain. He’s won more championship matches than anyone else in the history of the company. Well, technically, he’s tied with some other dude, technically, but THAT guy has embarrassed himself so much over the last couple of years that he’s forever tarnished the importance of his legacy. Freakin’ Jet. Oh, look! See the dude whose face you can’t actually see? No, that’s not a mask...literally doesn’t wear a mask...it’s just this kinda-sorta veil made of darknesss...um...thing. Anyway, that’s Fear. You know, the guy who barely rolled up the guy I beat clean in the ring a few weeks okay? Dude has more matches than ANYONE EVER in the company. Getting close to three hundred! Mind you, he’s getting close to two hundred LOSSES, too, so longevity isn’t ALL that its cracked up to be. Oh! Oh!”
Sarah points emphatically as Thunder tries to hide the fact that he snapped the small pen in half with his massive paw.
“There’s my buddy Sloane! I tried to hook you guys up a couple of months ago, but her taste in men is REALLY shitty. Hold on…”
Sarah whips out her iPhone and her fingers fly across the screen.
Off in the distance, a head of pink hair stops moving, and then falls backward in what can only be a sigh.
Sarah scowls as she reads and puts away her phone.
“I HATE that guy.”
“Me like Topher.”
“I KNOW THAT!”
She stomps her foot and turns back to the crowd of people and her face goes from an angry scowl to vicious sneer.
“Well, well. Our opponent next week. Hide Yamazaki.”
In the distance, the glint of Deathwish’s chain catches in the lights of the arena’s patio. The Strong-Style Satanist also seems to be eating a chicken...still covered in feathers...and moving? Yeah, it looks like its moving. Behind him, Johnny Bonecrusher walks with the pride of a peacock stuffed into an orange suit that not even a disappointing main event loss in a Cross-Hemisphere Title match can diminish.
“Let me tell you about Hide…”
Sarah’s entire countenance changes as she speaks, the tempter tantrum of just moments before melting away as her posture straightens to the point of rigidity. The sneer on her severe face turns to schooled coldness. Entering into Teacher Mode, she is every inch the Blood Princess. Behind her, and thankfully out of her eyesight, Thunder drools a little into his beard.
“He is a BEAST. And a monster. Very dangerous.”
Behind her, Thunder blinks in surprise, as does anyone close enough to hear Mrs. Talky-Talky. Could this be a continuation of a new leaf? Could this be-
“I mean, I whipped his ass, and all. But still.”
Nevermind.
“So that we’re clear, Thunder, Hide is someone you have to watch out for. See how he’s eating that chicken whole? AND raw? That’s not a bit or gimmick. That wasn’t something whipped together by some marketing team. That’s HIM. He has no room in his mind or heart for giving a shit. He goes in, beats things up, and then moves on to the next thing. In fact, if you go back a year or so, Johnny had to keep the man chained up at all times just to move him around! THAT is Hide. What WAS he before?”
She gives a shake of her head.
“I don’t know. And I know EVERYTHING. But what I DO know is what he is NOW, which is an animal who, when in his own environment, can unleash pain and anguish upon those in front of him. All one has to do is watch Battleground and see what kind of damage he can do, and that was a match filled with previous World Champions. And Raab.”
“Thunder watch what?”
Sarah turns to face him and gives him a slight wave of dismissal.
“A barbaric match which I have ZERO intention of ever being in. And one you need not worry too much about, because I would rather you focus on your immediate job: Squishing Hide like a bug on Monday.”
Thunder smiles and nods at this, and pretends to write on the small paper with the ruined pencil.
“Hide is HUNGRY. I personally know how difficult the Coalition can be at times...this place is a vicious slog, which, in part, is why I have become exclusive to it...and it took him a long time to find true footing. If you simply looked at his record without caring about context...say, the way some uncouth ‘legends’ do when they try to out-stat me...you would not be very impressed. Only one fight above .500 last year, after all. But I know better, since I appreciate context. When properly motivated...say, at the side of a member of my House, for instance...Hide finds himself becoming victorious far more often than not. Additionally, he was nearly flawless when under the bright lights of the main event...or the Lacklan Spot, as some of the fans have begun to call it, online...which is FAR better than most could say.
“But, while he DID show his mastery of the barbaric at Battleground, he found himself pushed to the wayside by his manager. Johnny has a peculiar interest in my family, ya see, stemming back from a fight he had with my Father years ago. Fast forward to today, and he has ingratiate himself with both my wife AND my mother, and I’m pretty sure he gets along with my sister, as well. But his desire to knock me down a peg...a desire shared by MANY, you may have heard...led to his defeat and nearly his ruination. With a new year and an interesting focus on themselves...Hide standing tall as the man who some believe would have toppled me, and Johnny as the man who has taken a step back, looked at himself in the mirror, and seen that he needs to reevaluate some things about his camp...they have hoped to sate that hunger in the Satanist. And Gabriel Baal, in his new phase as the Chimera, gave them that opportunity.”
Sarah pauses at the clueless look on Thunder’s face, and she gives another wave of her hand.
“Long, complicated, and potentially worthless story. Lets just say that nothing says ‘fucking loser’ like building yourself up for five weeks and then falling on your face right out the gate. Anyway, Hide has had multiple opportunities to feed himself since the year began, but has once again found that difficulty in the Coalition I mentioned before. A failure to capture the Cooperative Championship, a failure to capture the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, and, arguably more personal to his pride, failure to defeat THE World Champion when he was given the opportunity to prove that he COULD have won at Horizons. That hunger still fills him, and after finding little more than scraps at his table, I daresay that he will be desperate to get a proper mouthful.”
Sarah walks forward a few steps and places a hand on Thunder’s elbow, thankfully oblivious to the sudden shudder that wracks his body, and cranes her head back to look up the over one foot difference in their height.
“There are rules, Thunder. If someone is able to successfully pin or submit a champion in a non-title match, they gain the right TO a title match. An old rule, for the old days, and breathing new life into this modern company. For years, there were champions who virtually relieved themselves on the concept of caring about 75% of our shows, but now even someone like Vain realizes he needs to give a damn or else endanger his championship. This means that I, as THE World Champion, cannot get away with just DEFENDING my championship, like those ghosts from the past, but I must REIGN, too. I came at Raab with EVERYTHING I had because there was NO WAY I was going to let him sneak a pin on me and force himself into my plans to fight Angelica at Coalescence. Similarly, there is NO WAY I am going to allow Hide to do the same. He is HUNGRY, Thunder, and I am the delicacy most sought. Your job is to squish him. HURT him. Powerbomb, clotheseline, and suplex your way into eliminating him. Does this make sense?”
Thunder gives a slow nod.
“What about Angie?”
A slow smile takes over Sarah’s face, a smile filled with a complex mixture of love and maliciousness.
“You leave her to me.”
Her smile falls and a look of concern replaces it as she reaches up, her body rising up to the tips of her toes in her heeled boots, and traces her hand along Thunder’s nose.
“How is your face?”
Thunder lowers his eyes.”
“Thunder sorry.”
Sarah lightly slaps Thunder’s face, causing him to look down into her eyes again.
“Do not be overly shamed by being caught by Rydell’s cutter. I can personally tell you how much that move hurts! Light Above, Angelica got caught with it and it knocked her right out! He nearly did the same to me. Dave does not have many tools in his box, but THAT one is deadly and can sneak up on you. His claim to fame, I suppose. You’ll get your chance to squish him for real, soon enough.”
“Babe!”
Sarah turns at the voice of Kenzi. The Chaos Champion, dressed in jeans and a frumpy brown shirt in such a visual, and intensional, show of disparity to Sarah’s own fashion to seem comical, runs up to them. She flashes her “dad” Thunder a smile and waves her iPhone at Sarah.
“Bad news! The Waldorf is booked solid!”
Sarah’s eyes turn to the flames of an incinerator.
“The HELL?!”
Thunder’s face is full of confusion again, and Kenzi quickly explains.
“They had a flood a month ago. That’s all fixed but they’ve been a mess ever since.”
“We have a standing reservation! Every Monday there’s a Synergy!”
Kenzi shrugs her shoulders and Sarah growls.
“I REALLY need to look into getting us a condo in town, or something. Whatever. I supposed we can stay at my sister’s again and-”
“Don’t worry about it, Babe! I already got us booked somewhere. I got them hook-ups!”
Sarah raises an eyebrow as Kenzi’s face beams.
“I got us a GREAT deal! Remember my endorsement deal with EconoLodge?”
A moment of silence passes before Sarah falls to her knees and cries out her dismay into the Heavens.
Thunder does his best to hide his excitement over the image of Sarah on her knees in front of him.
Poor Thunder.
Saturday
February 22, 2020
SCREEEEEEEECH!
“Loaded Boot” Angie Vaughn had seen a lot of weird things in her 20 years of life. The hatred in the eyes of an overbearing father-but-actually-kinda-sorta-evil-adopted-father. The love in the eyes of the spirit version of the actual father she never met that definitely WAS evil for the majority of his life. A same sex, inter-species relationship between Ser Alex the cat and Chewie the Chinchilla. Poutine. But this? This likely topped it all.
“Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.”
Sarah, her no-longer-secret sister, leaned out of the driver side window of her car, the all-black replica of that super amazing KIT car, with nearly opaque sunglasses on her face...which kinda looked odd since she was also wearing that net of diamonds in her hair with the big ruby on her forehead...and a smirk of lips with way too much makeup on. That, itself, was normal. Just Sarah being Sarah, right? But, on TOP of the car?
“Hello Angie.”
“Don’t call me Redd” Thunder was laying on his stomach atop the car, with his arms hanging down the side windows and his tree-trunk legs dangling down the back window, with several thick ropes holding him down in place, like some weird combination of a Christmas tree and a bearskin rug. Angie blinks several times at the sight before turning her eyes to Sarah.
“Sar-Sar?”
“Angelica?”
“Why is Thunder on the roof of your car?”
“Funny story, that.”
Angie’s face scrunches into thought at the story, the dimple rising in her cheek being pretty enough to challenge Sarah’s.
“But...but why is he tied down?”
“Funny story, that.”
Angie nods her head.
“Makes sense.”
“Lets go!”
Into the car Angie goes, her totally NOT YSL bag slipping behind her seat and her hands barely getting the seatbelt clipped into place before her potentially suicidal sister slammed on the gas and they screeched away from LAX. While Thunder lets loose a howl equal parts exhilaration and fear for his life, Angie’s blue eyes only widen a little as Sarah drives like she’s the next wrestler to star in a Fast and Furious movie, cutting people off without a thought or concern. She’s been through this plenty.
“Hey, where’s Kenzi? I totes figured she’d be here for this.”
“Funny story, that.”
“So, we’ll need to make a pit stop at the market after, okay?”
“Sure, Sar-Sar!”
The Lacklan Sisters, or Team Heel Shit Up, if you’re hip, chat about a variety of things as the car cuts off, speeds up, slows down, and pulls several “Good luck, everybody!” multi-lane crossings from Los Angeles to Hollywood. They talk about their pets and how they each celebrated #LoveYourPetDay. They squabble over Beethoven vs Mozart. They fawn over that new pair of stretch pumps from Bottega Veneta that Sarah secretly bought and Kenzi would likely puke and then pass out if she saw the price tag. Angie...again...asks to borrow Sarah’s YSL bag and Sarah...again...reminds her that she could afford her own if she didn’t spend every single dollar she earned on her weird hick farm. All and all, pretty normal, for them.
“So, Shin’s staying with you guys?”
“Yep. Not sure for how long, or anything. Mumsie Nori wasn’t very clear on it.”
“What did he say?”
“Shin? Doesn’t talk much. A whole bunch of that stoic Japanese man nonsense.”
“Has he asked about me, again?”
“Of course he has. But I think you just want me to repeat what he calls you.”
“Mayyyyyyybe!”
Sarah sighs.
“‘The Taller One.’”
“I think you mean THE Taller One.”
Sarah grows as she slams the gear shift harder than she should and presses harder on the gas.
“Whatever. He’ll be with us for a while, anyway. He’s basically here to help me accomplish my goals, and I have a LOT of those, so it could be a LONG time. Ken is somewhat less than pleased.”
“She doesn’t like him?”
“Funny story, that.”
“Don’t know why you even bothered trying to play that game, tee-bee-hatch. Who’s got the time?”
“Beats me.”
And reaches up and taps the roof of the car above her head.
“How long has Thunder been with you?”
“A day or so. Been working on our ‘Kick Your Butt on Monday’ double team moves!”
Angie does her best not to roll her eyes.
“He’s never been over to the Egg, so I gave him the tour. Showed him the pool, the pigeon coop, played some basketball on Kenzi’s halfcourt. Got some training in with all four of us. Accidentally showed him Kenzi’s sweet booty.”
“...wut…”
“Funny story, that.”
“Oh hey! We’re here!”
While poor Thunder on the roof yelps in horror, Angie calmly reaches up and grabs ahold of the “Oh, shit!” bar above her head as the car begins to drift with a squeal of tires. Defying physics, the car moves sideways around the car in front of it, swerves in between two others, somehow spins in a circle, and slams to a stop along a sidewalk.
“Can’t wait!”
Sarah’s voice is full of jubilance as she unbuckles her belt, reaches behind her to pull out a tall hat fitted with several large black and green feathers and a checkered veil along the front. Once out of the car, the sisters untie a whimpering Thunder, and before long they are standing in front of a lone building.
“Mumsie set this up a year and a half ago, but never did anything with it. It’s time that I did.”
“Who?”
Sarah turns and looks up at her large partner, and the features of her face behind the black and grey veil immediately sharpen into the Blood Princess.
“My Step-Mother. Le Bord de Deiu, the Mad Frenchwowan, le Champion du Chaos, the holder of every UGWC Chaos Championship record, and, most importantly, the Matron of our House, Aveline Lacklan. She is not the most popular person in the world, mind you, but she is quite powerful in her own way.”
She turns back to the building.
“What would you do for your faith, Thunder?”
His confused blinks go unseen, but the question turns out to be rhetorical.
“A question which has plagued me for months. THIS is what I will do.”
She turns her head and looks around Thunder’s girth to take in Angie.
“What WE will do, yes, baby sister?”
Angie gives her several nods, though remains silent.
“Me make the girls say ‘oh my god.’”
Sarah lets out a long sigh as she looks up at Thunder.
“Wrong type of religion! I mean the REAL religion. The REAL God. Come, come!”
She claps her hands and walks toward the building, with Thunder and Angie quickyl catching up.
“Many years ago, my father...well, OUR father...had a vision from God. Daddy saw himself standing atop a mountain with a championship title in his hand...he always referred to it as the Ultimate Championship...and all of the world’s peoples looking up to him. He understood his mission, then. He was to unite the world through God’s favorite sport, wrestling, a contest of strength, stamina, willpower, and faith. He spent his life spreading the faith. Spent his life showing people the Path of Light. And now it’s my turn. The future of the world is in MY hands.”
Sarah pulls open the double doors as the get to the front of the hold church and light spills in to let them see within. The room is lined with two rows of long benches, with a raised platform at the end, and doors on either side leading to other rooms. Several of the Grey-Lacklan employees, those conveniently curvaceous young women with pretty faces, can be seen moving about, some dusting, others adjusting the arrangement of the benches, others entering and exiting the side doors. All cast cautious glances at the figure standing atop the dais, an imposing man with bright blonde hair and a pair of sunglasses on his face, as they go about their work. With his arms folded across his broad chest, “the Mountain” Shinjiro Nakama dominates the room without a single word.
“This is going to be awesome, guys. It will take some time, but it WILL be awesome. You two stay here, I’ll go get Shin.”
As Sarah’s heels clack their away along a marble floor, Angie takes the chance to speak with Thunder.
“So! Have fun with my sissies?”
“...wut…”
“My sisters, obvs. Get some good training in?”
“Oh yes, me am ready to squish you like bug on Monday.”
Angie gives him a wide smile and pats him on the shoulder, a much easier task for 5’11” (BAY-BAY) than her 5’2” counterpart.
“Good luck!”
She chews on her lips as she looks up to the dais to see Sarah and Shinjiro.
“Shinji makes Sar-Sar totes look like Lil’ Has standing next to a lion.”
She shakes her head and turns back to Thunder.
“What was it like training with my big bro?”
“Me tell funny story.”
Face flushed pink and eyes open wide, Angie slowly backs away from Thunder as the large man’s eyes glaze over and drool begins to seep from his mouth. Once clear of his vision, she shutters at the image of poor Thunder’s unrequited love. Thankfully for her, she is able to slip off unnoticed and join her siblings at the front of the building.
“-now you listen here, Rockface, I APPRECIATE that you are helping me ‘accomplish my goals,’ and all, but you WILL listen to me! AND take direction! This ENTIRE thing is in MY ha-”
Nakama looks over Sarah’s head and meets Angie’s eyes before giving her a small node.
“Taller one.”
Sarah growls, her face turning down into sharp anger, and Angie’s face beams with a smile. Angie folds her arms across her chest and then lightly rests them atop Sarah’s hat.
“Tallest one.”
Shinjiro’s deep voice sounds like he has spent his entire light gargling sharp rocks twice a day, but even through the rumble, a smugness can be heard. Angie’s face turns into a scowl and she puts her hands down to her waist and stands straighter. A twinkle of mirth finds its way into Sarah’s eyes over this.
“Why are you wearing sunglasses inside? There’s no sun inside!”
Shinjiro lowers his face back to Sarah but otherwise remains silent, and Sarah offers one of her eyerolls before turning around.
“Whatever.”
She surveys the scene of some of her interns-turned-employees setting up the room to her designs...which were communicated through a lengthy presentation, as was proper...and gives a slow nod.
“Can you feel it?”
She holds out her hand to Angie, who quickly takes it with a smile.
“The whole world is going to change. Is going to be saved. And we will be the pillars for the world to look up to.”
She holds out her other hand, and after a long moment, it is completely enveloped by the hand of her brother. Sarah winces for a moment behind her veil and turns her head to the side.
“Good LORD, Brother! Have you never heard of LOTION?!
The man grunts as she takes the stop to put him in line with his sisters.
“Honestly, Angelica, he has so many calluses that it's like my hand is wrapped in sandpaper made of barbed wire!”
Angie giggles and looks at Shinjiro, her head only having to turn a fraction up compared to her sister.
“Bro, do you even lift?”
Shinjiro grunts and Sarah mouths “Whatever” for the sixth time today. The three fall into silence as the various Dark Goddess Production employees work.
“Are you excited to fight me on Monday, Sister?”
Sarah’s voice is low and full of wonder.”
"I always enjoy God's favorite sport. If it's done fairly, and there's no, like, silly gimmicks with weapons and stuff."
“I look forward to it, too. I look forward to showing the world what wrestling is SUPPOSED to be like. Battle, TRUE battle, between people who understand the importance of the sport. Who understand that it is God’s favorite. Who understand that our job, our DUTY, is to stand tall in the face of the bright lights of a main event and sparkle as would a diamond.”
Sarah squeezes both of the hands in hers and then lets them go before turning to her left to face Angie. The eyes behind the veil and glasses are as fervent as ever.
“Think of it, Sister! The THIRD most important and powerful person in the business facing off with THE most important and powerful person in the business!”
She “doesn’t notice” the flat look on Angie’s face.
“Obviously, Mackenzie and I share the top stop as Number One...we are literally the same person, after all...but RIGHT AFTER that is you! The Globalist of Global Champions! The person who became a Grand Slam champion nearly within the space of a year! The person who understands the audience and crowd at a level of intimacy that they cry out her name as a chant no matter WHAT she does! The person who is THE BEST wrestler out there MOST of the time! The person who has gotten MUCH BETTER at that whole consistency thing!”
Sarah “doesn’t notice” Angie opening her mouth to speak as she turns her had to look at their large brother.
“Indeed, Brother! All of those days of ‘hey, which Angie is going to show up today?’ are so long ago that they are nearly forgotten! The times when the Coalition audience didn’t know which Angie they were going to get...the excellent one who repeatedly takes down the likes of Alan Wallace...or the crappy one who gets distracted by her cats and loses half of her championships without making a single defense...are just about gone! Why, winning the Global Challenge, besting a field of truly impressive former champions, has ALMOST erased the foul taste left the fans’ mouth when she lost to Dave Rydell and robbed them of the Infinity match everyone wanted to see!”
She turns back to Angie, and “doesn’t see” the mixture of emotions on her face.
“I know I brought this up recently, but you are SO WELCOME, Baby Sister.”
She steps forward and embraces Angie in a hug, her face coming up to her chest. Sarah had no doubt tried to combat the large height difference with the heels on today’s boots, but Angie had “conveniently” also worn a pair of equally high heels.
"Thank you?"
Sarah squeezes hard.
“You are SO WELCOME for me squishing Dave for you. You are SO WELCOME for me doing what you could not. You are SO WELCOME for me putting him in his place and SQUISHING him for DARING to put his hands on you. You are SO WELCOME for me avenging your loss to him. Because that is what big sisters do, Angelica. They do things for their baby sisters that they themselves cannot. You know, like perform at the HIGHEST level every single week without needing to mentally take weeks off. Or listen to literally every single one of their loved ones when they warn them to NOT trust someone like Dave. Or not allow themselves to be distracted by silly side projects to the point where they become listless among the midcard for entire cycles at a time. I mean, you’re not going to see ME do those things, but I’ll definitely be here to make sure that YOU don’t do them. Again.”
Sarah pushes herself to arm’s length, again choosing to “not” notice that Angie’s normally smiling face is now clouded.
“Fear not, Sister. Your future? Its in my hands. Have no fear of being hurt on Monday, at least not any more than in any other match, for THAT role will be Hide’s. Just like how Thunder and I squished Dave in a way you never could at Infinity, we will flatten your partner. YOU won’t have to worry about getting your head smashed in until I get to do that with my OWN hands!”
Angie’s face suddenly turns from her complex mixture of emotions, of anger and pain and her own willingness to succeed, and into her more accustomed smile.
“Axly! Funny story, that.”
Sarah sticks her finger into Angie’s face.
“First of all!”
Angie settles in for what will likely be an unnecessarily long argument.
February 17, 2020
fuzz
fuzz
fuzz
clarity
“MUCH better!”
Sarah Grey-Lacklan smiles as she adjusts the glasses on her nose and blinks away the stars at the edge of her vision. Her eyes ached from wearing her thick contacts for the last few hours, and she knew that it would be some time until that pain was gone, but she was happy to be able to see fully again. Showered and rested from her match against Konrad Raab earlier in the evening, the World Champion is again dressed in one of her hand-stitched dresses, this one black and red with tiny spider webs lining the EXTRA puffy sleeves, with the belt of gold strapped across her waist.
“Now, tell me what you learned from the History of UGWC booklet I gave you?”
Beside her, looming high into the sky, is the gargantuan Thunder, his mask stowed away in his bag to show a strong face with dark brown hair and beard. His dark eyes blink. And blink. And blink again.
“wut”
“Oh, for the love of…”
Sarah sighs with extreme exasperation as she throws her hands up into the air.
“Why does NO ONE but my baby sister pay attention to my lessons? Well, and the Cutie, too. Pretty sure she takes detailed notes. As she should!”
Sarah gestures toward their left with frantic motions.
“Look, ya big lug! Look at our Coalition peers. Look and learn!”
As they stand near the entrance of the Synergy Arena, they take in the goings-on of wrestling talent and staff alike as they tear down another successful weekly show. Synergy #303 had included a friendly face-off between the World Champion and the Global Challenge winner, a divorce-turned custody battle-turned mob hit(?), LOTS of shenanigans with the current Creative Director, and an entertaining Cross-Hemisphere match in the Main Event, and there was a feeling of general satisfaction from the crew. Sarah’s waving hands...which were in black and red gloves with tiny diamonds at the fingertips, because of course they were...point out some of the passersby.
“Much of the staff have been around since the very first match, nearly ten years ago. Like, Greg over there? Makes coffee. And Janet? Started as a gopher and now does some of the post work for the website.”
Suddenly, her eyes darken behind her glasses.
“Oh, but FUCK THAT guy! I HATE him.”
Even Thunder, literally on his first day, can understand the hatred for Todd the Intern as he walks by.
“You’ll get to know the various refs, of course...Hazel is my fave, obviously…”
“Me understand. Boobs.”
“...but Glenn is the one in charge, so make sure you stay on his good side. Mitchel is a decent enough ring announcer, though he doesn’t hold out the ‘-rah’ long enough...it really should be ‘Sa-RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’, ya see…you can ignore every single backstage interviewer, by the way. Its literally just three people who sound completely different every day. Honestly, its kinda weird. And whatever you do, do NOT bring up Boss P. Mackenzie gets TRIGGERED.”
Behind her, Thunder blinks several times.
“Thunder does not know Boss P..”
Sarah shakes her head and waves her hand dismissively.
“A racist and foul-mouthed penguin.”
She waves dismissively again in response to more confused blinks.
“Oh! And sometimes the match announcers decide that getting themselves over is WAY more important than what’s going on in the ring. Covert Jay is pretty cool, though. Except for that one time he thought he could hook up with me. I mean, c’mon, who tells the world about their desire to hook up with a married woman, right?”
Thunder’s forehead suddenly shines with sweat.
“Um...me mean...you know...the Thunder thinks that sounds dumb…”
“Thank you!!
Thunder lets out a sigh filled with relief as Sarah bounces on her heels in sudden excitement and does not notice the massive man’s obvious worry.
“Oh look! Some of our peers!”
Indeed, various Entertainment Professionals make their way out of the doors of the Synergy Arena, each looking to head to their homes or apartments or hotels, as was their wont.
“Everyone has a place to go, ya know? Well, except for TRoberts. We make him stay in the boiler room and then hose him down with one of those power washer things when its time for a match.”
Thunder blinks and Sarah waves her hands at him.
“Write this down!”
Sarah reaches down into her bag...an athletics bag personally commissioned by YSL that makes Angie turn bright pink with jealousy...and pulls out a legal pad, which she then shoves towards Thunder.
“I’ll get you a proper notebook when you come over later in the week for training. I have, like, hundreds, and will get you one more befitting your gigantic hands. Now!”
She claps her hands and turns back to the various people leaving while Thunder tries his best to deal with the 5’2” Mafia-sized pen.
“Now, the dude in the nice suit with sunglasses on even though its night time? That’s Vain. He’s won more championship matches than anyone else in the history of the company. Well, technically, he’s tied with some other dude, technically, but THAT guy has embarrassed himself so much over the last couple of years that he’s forever tarnished the importance of his legacy. Freakin’ Jet. Oh, look! See the dude whose face you can’t actually see? No, that’s not a mask...literally doesn’t wear a mask...it’s just this kinda-sorta veil made of darknesss...um...thing. Anyway, that’s Fear. You know, the guy who barely rolled up the guy I beat clean in the ring a few weeks okay? Dude has more matches than ANYONE EVER in the company. Getting close to three hundred! Mind you, he’s getting close to two hundred LOSSES, too, so longevity isn’t ALL that its cracked up to be. Oh! Oh!”
Sarah points emphatically as Thunder tries to hide the fact that he snapped the small pen in half with his massive paw.
“There’s my buddy Sloane! I tried to hook you guys up a couple of months ago, but her taste in men is REALLY shitty. Hold on…”
Sarah whips out her iPhone and her fingers fly across the screen.
Sarah is the best, Sarah number one
So
Like
Your boyfriend is lame
So
Like
Your boyfriend is lame
Off in the distance, a head of pink hair stops moving, and then falls backward in what can only be a sigh.
THE Cutie, THE
He’s not my boyfriend, MOM!
He’s not my boyfriend, MOM!
Sarah scowls as she reads and puts away her phone.
“I HATE that guy.”
“Me like Topher.”
“I KNOW THAT!”
She stomps her foot and turns back to the crowd of people and her face goes from an angry scowl to vicious sneer.
“Well, well. Our opponent next week. Hide Yamazaki.”
In the distance, the glint of Deathwish’s chain catches in the lights of the arena’s patio. The Strong-Style Satanist also seems to be eating a chicken...still covered in feathers...and moving? Yeah, it looks like its moving. Behind him, Johnny Bonecrusher walks with the pride of a peacock stuffed into an orange suit that not even a disappointing main event loss in a Cross-Hemisphere Title match can diminish.
“Let me tell you about Hide…”
Sarah’s entire countenance changes as she speaks, the tempter tantrum of just moments before melting away as her posture straightens to the point of rigidity. The sneer on her severe face turns to schooled coldness. Entering into Teacher Mode, she is every inch the Blood Princess. Behind her, and thankfully out of her eyesight, Thunder drools a little into his beard.
“He is a BEAST. And a monster. Very dangerous.”
Behind her, Thunder blinks in surprise, as does anyone close enough to hear Mrs. Talky-Talky. Could this be a continuation of a new leaf? Could this be-
“I mean, I whipped his ass, and all. But still.”
Nevermind.
“So that we’re clear, Thunder, Hide is someone you have to watch out for. See how he’s eating that chicken whole? AND raw? That’s not a bit or gimmick. That wasn’t something whipped together by some marketing team. That’s HIM. He has no room in his mind or heart for giving a shit. He goes in, beats things up, and then moves on to the next thing. In fact, if you go back a year or so, Johnny had to keep the man chained up at all times just to move him around! THAT is Hide. What WAS he before?”
She gives a shake of her head.
“I don’t know. And I know EVERYTHING. But what I DO know is what he is NOW, which is an animal who, when in his own environment, can unleash pain and anguish upon those in front of him. All one has to do is watch Battleground and see what kind of damage he can do, and that was a match filled with previous World Champions. And Raab.”
“Thunder watch what?”
Sarah turns to face him and gives him a slight wave of dismissal.
“A barbaric match which I have ZERO intention of ever being in. And one you need not worry too much about, because I would rather you focus on your immediate job: Squishing Hide like a bug on Monday.”
Thunder smiles and nods at this, and pretends to write on the small paper with the ruined pencil.
“Hide is HUNGRY. I personally know how difficult the Coalition can be at times...this place is a vicious slog, which, in part, is why I have become exclusive to it...and it took him a long time to find true footing. If you simply looked at his record without caring about context...say, the way some uncouth ‘legends’ do when they try to out-stat me...you would not be very impressed. Only one fight above .500 last year, after all. But I know better, since I appreciate context. When properly motivated...say, at the side of a member of my House, for instance...Hide finds himself becoming victorious far more often than not. Additionally, he was nearly flawless when under the bright lights of the main event...or the Lacklan Spot, as some of the fans have begun to call it, online...which is FAR better than most could say.
“But, while he DID show his mastery of the barbaric at Battleground, he found himself pushed to the wayside by his manager. Johnny has a peculiar interest in my family, ya see, stemming back from a fight he had with my Father years ago. Fast forward to today, and he has ingratiate himself with both my wife AND my mother, and I’m pretty sure he gets along with my sister, as well. But his desire to knock me down a peg...a desire shared by MANY, you may have heard...led to his defeat and nearly his ruination. With a new year and an interesting focus on themselves...Hide standing tall as the man who some believe would have toppled me, and Johnny as the man who has taken a step back, looked at himself in the mirror, and seen that he needs to reevaluate some things about his camp...they have hoped to sate that hunger in the Satanist. And Gabriel Baal, in his new phase as the Chimera, gave them that opportunity.”
Sarah pauses at the clueless look on Thunder’s face, and she gives another wave of her hand.
“Long, complicated, and potentially worthless story. Lets just say that nothing says ‘fucking loser’ like building yourself up for five weeks and then falling on your face right out the gate. Anyway, Hide has had multiple opportunities to feed himself since the year began, but has once again found that difficulty in the Coalition I mentioned before. A failure to capture the Cooperative Championship, a failure to capture the Cross-Hemisphere Championship, and, arguably more personal to his pride, failure to defeat THE World Champion when he was given the opportunity to prove that he COULD have won at Horizons. That hunger still fills him, and after finding little more than scraps at his table, I daresay that he will be desperate to get a proper mouthful.”
Sarah walks forward a few steps and places a hand on Thunder’s elbow, thankfully oblivious to the sudden shudder that wracks his body, and cranes her head back to look up the over one foot difference in their height.
“There are rules, Thunder. If someone is able to successfully pin or submit a champion in a non-title match, they gain the right TO a title match. An old rule, for the old days, and breathing new life into this modern company. For years, there were champions who virtually relieved themselves on the concept of caring about 75% of our shows, but now even someone like Vain realizes he needs to give a damn or else endanger his championship. This means that I, as THE World Champion, cannot get away with just DEFENDING my championship, like those ghosts from the past, but I must REIGN, too. I came at Raab with EVERYTHING I had because there was NO WAY I was going to let him sneak a pin on me and force himself into my plans to fight Angelica at Coalescence. Similarly, there is NO WAY I am going to allow Hide to do the same. He is HUNGRY, Thunder, and I am the delicacy most sought. Your job is to squish him. HURT him. Powerbomb, clotheseline, and suplex your way into eliminating him. Does this make sense?”
Thunder gives a slow nod.
“What about Angie?”
A slow smile takes over Sarah’s face, a smile filled with a complex mixture of love and maliciousness.
“You leave her to me.”
Her smile falls and a look of concern replaces it as she reaches up, her body rising up to the tips of her toes in her heeled boots, and traces her hand along Thunder’s nose.
“How is your face?”
Thunder lowers his eyes.”
“Thunder sorry.”
Sarah lightly slaps Thunder’s face, causing him to look down into her eyes again.
“Do not be overly shamed by being caught by Rydell’s cutter. I can personally tell you how much that move hurts! Light Above, Angelica got caught with it and it knocked her right out! He nearly did the same to me. Dave does not have many tools in his box, but THAT one is deadly and can sneak up on you. His claim to fame, I suppose. You’ll get your chance to squish him for real, soon enough.”
“Babe!”
Sarah turns at the voice of Kenzi. The Chaos Champion, dressed in jeans and a frumpy brown shirt in such a visual, and intensional, show of disparity to Sarah’s own fashion to seem comical, runs up to them. She flashes her “dad” Thunder a smile and waves her iPhone at Sarah.
“Bad news! The Waldorf is booked solid!”
Sarah’s eyes turn to the flames of an incinerator.
“The HELL?!”
Thunder’s face is full of confusion again, and Kenzi quickly explains.
“They had a flood a month ago. That’s all fixed but they’ve been a mess ever since.”
“We have a standing reservation! Every Monday there’s a Synergy!”
Kenzi shrugs her shoulders and Sarah growls.
“I REALLY need to look into getting us a condo in town, or something. Whatever. I supposed we can stay at my sister’s again and-”
“Don’t worry about it, Babe! I already got us booked somewhere. I got them hook-ups!”
Sarah raises an eyebrow as Kenzi’s face beams.
“I got us a GREAT deal! Remember my endorsement deal with EconoLodge?”
A moment of silence passes before Sarah falls to her knees and cries out her dismay into the Heavens.
Thunder does his best to hide his excitement over the image of Sarah on her knees in front of him.
Poor Thunder.
Saturday
February 22, 2020
SCREEEEEEEECH!
“Loaded Boot” Angie Vaughn had seen a lot of weird things in her 20 years of life. The hatred in the eyes of an overbearing father-but-actually-kinda-sorta-evil-adopted-father. The love in the eyes of the spirit version of the actual father she never met that definitely WAS evil for the majority of his life. A same sex, inter-species relationship between Ser Alex the cat and Chewie the Chinchilla. Poutine. But this? This likely topped it all.
“Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.”
Sarah, her no-longer-secret sister, leaned out of the driver side window of her car, the all-black replica of that super amazing KIT car, with nearly opaque sunglasses on her face...which kinda looked odd since she was also wearing that net of diamonds in her hair with the big ruby on her forehead...and a smirk of lips with way too much makeup on. That, itself, was normal. Just Sarah being Sarah, right? But, on TOP of the car?
“Hello Angie.”
“Don’t call me Redd” Thunder was laying on his stomach atop the car, with his arms hanging down the side windows and his tree-trunk legs dangling down the back window, with several thick ropes holding him down in place, like some weird combination of a Christmas tree and a bearskin rug. Angie blinks several times at the sight before turning her eyes to Sarah.
“Sar-Sar?”
“Angelica?”
“Why is Thunder on the roof of your car?”
“Funny story, that.”
~~FLASHBACK TO: Why Thunder is on the roof of the car~~
Sar: Uh oh
Thun-D: Hmmm?
Sar: There is NO WAY you AND my baby sister’s freakishly long legs are fitting in my car.
Thun-D: Thunder call shotgun
Sar: Yeah, right. Angelica called ‘Eternal Non-Spouse Shotgun’ as soon as I got my license last year.
Thun-D: Me call back seat?
Sar: Yeah, right. Mackenzie bought this car. There’s no backseat! ‘No fucking baby seats!’ she said with a smile.
Thun-D: What we do?
Sar: I have an idea.
~~FLASHFORWARD TO: Mrs G-L’s Wild Ride~~
Angie’s face scrunches into thought at the story, the dimple rising in her cheek being pretty enough to challenge Sarah’s.
“But...but why is he tied down?”
“Funny story, that.”
~~FLASHBACK TO: Why Thunder is tied down~~
Sar: Okay, you ready?
Thun-D: Me think s-
Sar: *slams her heeled boot down on the gas without a second thought*
Thun-D: *flies off the hood of the car and slams down on the circular driveway in front of the Egg*
~~FLASHFORWARD TO: Mrs G-L’s Wild Ride~~
Angie nods her head.
“Makes sense.”
“Lets go!”
Into the car Angie goes, her totally NOT YSL bag slipping behind her seat and her hands barely getting the seatbelt clipped into place before her potentially suicidal sister slammed on the gas and they screeched away from LAX. While Thunder lets loose a howl equal parts exhilaration and fear for his life, Angie’s blue eyes only widen a little as Sarah drives like she’s the next wrestler to star in a Fast and Furious movie, cutting people off without a thought or concern. She’s been through this plenty.
“Hey, where’s Kenzi? I totes figured she’d be here for this.”
“Funny story, that.”
~~FLASHBACK TO: Why Kenzi isn’t here~~
Sar: Hey, Beloved, you ready?
Ken: Hmmmm?
Sar: We’re checking out the building for my church!
Ken: *blinks*
Ken: *sees Sarah is dressed up head-to-toe in one of her dumb dresses that she sewed herself. The nerd*
Ken: *contemplates an entire afternoon in some dumb church with Sarah and her weirdo brother*
Ken: *coughs into her hand*
Ken: Oh, man! I would LOVE to, babe, really I would, but I am SO SICK!
Sar: Oh noes! My poor Beloved! I’ll bring you back some chicken soup!
~~FLASHFORWARD TO: Mrs G-L’s Wild Ride~~
“Sure, Sar-Sar!”
The Lacklan Sisters, or Team Heel Shit Up, if you’re hip, chat about a variety of things as the car cuts off, speeds up, slows down, and pulls several “Good luck, everybody!” multi-lane crossings from Los Angeles to Hollywood. They talk about their pets and how they each celebrated #LoveYourPetDay. They squabble over Beethoven vs Mozart. They fawn over that new pair of stretch pumps from Bottega Veneta that Sarah secretly bought and Kenzi would likely puke and then pass out if she saw the price tag. Angie...again...asks to borrow Sarah’s YSL bag and Sarah...again...reminds her that she could afford her own if she didn’t spend every single dollar she earned on her weird hick farm. All and all, pretty normal, for them.
“So, Shin’s staying with you guys?”
“Yep. Not sure for how long, or anything. Mumsie Nori wasn’t very clear on it.”
“What did he say?”
“Shin? Doesn’t talk much. A whole bunch of that stoic Japanese man nonsense.”
“Has he asked about me, again?”
“Of course he has. But I think you just want me to repeat what he calls you.”
“Mayyyyyyybe!”
Sarah sighs.
“‘The Taller One.’”
“I think you mean THE Taller One.”
Sarah grows as she slams the gear shift harder than she should and presses harder on the gas.
“Whatever. He’ll be with us for a while, anyway. He’s basically here to help me accomplish my goals, and I have a LOT of those, so it could be a LONG time. Ken is somewhat less than pleased.”
“She doesn’t like him?”
“Funny story, that.”
~~FLASHBACK TO: Kenzi and Shinjiro~~
Ken: What the hell, Bro?!
Shin: *remains silent*
Ken: Aw, c'mon, man! C'mon Shinnie, c'mon!
Shin: *remains silent*
Ken: I’ve JUST paid for your hotel on Park Place! I don’t have enough money to pay for your hotel on Boardwalk!
Shin: *remains silent*
Ken: *flips table*
~~FLASHFORWARD TO: Mrs G-L’s Wild Ride~~
“Beats me.”
And reaches up and taps the roof of the car above her head.
“How long has Thunder been with you?”
“A day or so. Been working on our ‘Kick Your Butt on Monday’ double team moves!”
Angie does her best not to roll her eyes.
“He’s never been over to the Egg, so I gave him the tour. Showed him the pool, the pigeon coop, played some basketball on Kenzi’s halfcourt. Got some training in with all four of us. Accidentally showed him Kenzi’s sweet booty.”
“...wut…”
“Funny story, that.”
~~FLASHBACK TO: Showing Thunder around the Egg~~
Sar: And THIS is where the magic happens!
Thun-D: Me am so exci-
Ken: SELENA!
Ken: *runs into bathroom*
Ken: *slams door*
Sar: *smirks as she gets a great look at Kenzi’s bare rear before it disappears*
Thun-D: Me made sweet love to that on top of a tank during WWII.
Sar: *massive eyeroll*
Ken: Why do you DO that?!
Sar: First of all, I haven’t ‘accidentally’ showed the SWEETEST booty in ALL the land on camera since I stopped during my vlog, thank you so much!
~~FLASHFORWARD TO: Mrs G-L’s Wild Ride~~
While poor Thunder on the roof yelps in horror, Angie calmly reaches up and grabs ahold of the “Oh, shit!” bar above her head as the car begins to drift with a squeal of tires. Defying physics, the car moves sideways around the car in front of it, swerves in between two others, somehow spins in a circle, and slams to a stop along a sidewalk.
“Can’t wait!”
Sarah’s voice is full of jubilance as she unbuckles her belt, reaches behind her to pull out a tall hat fitted with several large black and green feathers and a checkered veil along the front. Once out of the car, the sisters untie a whimpering Thunder, and before long they are standing in front of a lone building.
“Mumsie set this up a year and a half ago, but never did anything with it. It’s time that I did.”
“Who?”
Sarah turns and looks up at her large partner, and the features of her face behind the black and grey veil immediately sharpen into the Blood Princess.
“My Step-Mother. Le Bord de Deiu, the Mad Frenchwowan, le Champion du Chaos, the holder of every UGWC Chaos Championship record, and, most importantly, the Matron of our House, Aveline Lacklan. She is not the most popular person in the world, mind you, but she is quite powerful in her own way.”
She turns back to the building.
“What would you do for your faith, Thunder?”
His confused blinks go unseen, but the question turns out to be rhetorical.
“A question which has plagued me for months. THIS is what I will do.”
She turns her head and looks around Thunder’s girth to take in Angie.
“What WE will do, yes, baby sister?”
Angie gives her several nods, though remains silent.
“Me make the girls say ‘oh my god.’”
Sarah lets out a long sigh as she looks up at Thunder.
“Wrong type of religion! I mean the REAL religion. The REAL God. Come, come!”
She claps her hands and walks toward the building, with Thunder and Angie quickyl catching up.
“Many years ago, my father...well, OUR father...had a vision from God. Daddy saw himself standing atop a mountain with a championship title in his hand...he always referred to it as the Ultimate Championship...and all of the world’s peoples looking up to him. He understood his mission, then. He was to unite the world through God’s favorite sport, wrestling, a contest of strength, stamina, willpower, and faith. He spent his life spreading the faith. Spent his life showing people the Path of Light. And now it’s my turn. The future of the world is in MY hands.”
Sarah pulls open the double doors as the get to the front of the hold church and light spills in to let them see within. The room is lined with two rows of long benches, with a raised platform at the end, and doors on either side leading to other rooms. Several of the Grey-Lacklan employees, those conveniently curvaceous young women with pretty faces, can be seen moving about, some dusting, others adjusting the arrangement of the benches, others entering and exiting the side doors. All cast cautious glances at the figure standing atop the dais, an imposing man with bright blonde hair and a pair of sunglasses on his face, as they go about their work. With his arms folded across his broad chest, “the Mountain” Shinjiro Nakama dominates the room without a single word.
“This is going to be awesome, guys. It will take some time, but it WILL be awesome. You two stay here, I’ll go get Shin.”
As Sarah’s heels clack their away along a marble floor, Angie takes the chance to speak with Thunder.
“So! Have fun with my sissies?”
“...wut…”
“My sisters, obvs. Get some good training in?”
“Oh yes, me am ready to squish you like bug on Monday.”
Angie gives him a wide smile and pats him on the shoulder, a much easier task for 5’11” (BAY-BAY) than her 5’2” counterpart.
“Good luck!”
She chews on her lips as she looks up to the dais to see Sarah and Shinjiro.
“Shinji makes Sar-Sar totes look like Lil’ Has standing next to a lion.”
She shakes her head and turns back to Thunder.
“What was it like training with my big bro?”
“Me tell funny story.”
~~FLASHBACK TO: Thunder and Shinjiro training in a local gym~~
Thun-D: *roars loud enough to make the entire town shake*
Shin: *cowers before his mighty might*
Thun-D: STAND UP PUNY HALF-MAN
Shin: *stands up*
Thun-D: *squashes him like a bug*
Sar: Oh, Thunder! That was SO impressive!
Thun-D: *flexes his mighty arms*
Sar: *face flushes*
Sar: *becomes aroused*
Sar: Did you know that I like my coffee like I like my men? Strong and straight.
Sar: *seductively lowers her top and-
~~FLASHFORWARD TO: Somewhere outside of Thunder’s fantasies~~
Face flushed pink and eyes open wide, Angie slowly backs away from Thunder as the large man’s eyes glaze over and drool begins to seep from his mouth. Once clear of his vision, she shutters at the image of poor Thunder’s unrequited love. Thankfully for her, she is able to slip off unnoticed and join her siblings at the front of the building.
“-now you listen here, Rockface, I APPRECIATE that you are helping me ‘accomplish my goals,’ and all, but you WILL listen to me! AND take direction! This ENTIRE thing is in MY ha-”
Nakama looks over Sarah’s head and meets Angie’s eyes before giving her a small node.
“Taller one.”
Sarah growls, her face turning down into sharp anger, and Angie’s face beams with a smile. Angie folds her arms across her chest and then lightly rests them atop Sarah’s hat.
“Tallest one.”
Shinjiro’s deep voice sounds like he has spent his entire light gargling sharp rocks twice a day, but even through the rumble, a smugness can be heard. Angie’s face turns into a scowl and she puts her hands down to her waist and stands straighter. A twinkle of mirth finds its way into Sarah’s eyes over this.
“Why are you wearing sunglasses inside? There’s no sun inside!”
Shinjiro lowers his face back to Sarah but otherwise remains silent, and Sarah offers one of her eyerolls before turning around.
“Whatever.”
She surveys the scene of some of her interns-turned-employees setting up the room to her designs...which were communicated through a lengthy presentation, as was proper...and gives a slow nod.
“Can you feel it?”
She holds out her hand to Angie, who quickly takes it with a smile.
“The whole world is going to change. Is going to be saved. And we will be the pillars for the world to look up to.”
She holds out her other hand, and after a long moment, it is completely enveloped by the hand of her brother. Sarah winces for a moment behind her veil and turns her head to the side.
“Good LORD, Brother! Have you never heard of LOTION?!
The man grunts as she takes the stop to put him in line with his sisters.
“Honestly, Angelica, he has so many calluses that it's like my hand is wrapped in sandpaper made of barbed wire!”
Angie giggles and looks at Shinjiro, her head only having to turn a fraction up compared to her sister.
“Bro, do you even lift?”
Shinjiro grunts and Sarah mouths “Whatever” for the sixth time today. The three fall into silence as the various Dark Goddess Production employees work.
“Are you excited to fight me on Monday, Sister?”
Sarah’s voice is low and full of wonder.”
"I always enjoy God's favorite sport. If it's done fairly, and there's no, like, silly gimmicks with weapons and stuff."
“I look forward to it, too. I look forward to showing the world what wrestling is SUPPOSED to be like. Battle, TRUE battle, between people who understand the importance of the sport. Who understand that it is God’s favorite. Who understand that our job, our DUTY, is to stand tall in the face of the bright lights of a main event and sparkle as would a diamond.”
Sarah squeezes both of the hands in hers and then lets them go before turning to her left to face Angie. The eyes behind the veil and glasses are as fervent as ever.
“Think of it, Sister! The THIRD most important and powerful person in the business facing off with THE most important and powerful person in the business!”
She “doesn’t notice” the flat look on Angie’s face.
“Obviously, Mackenzie and I share the top stop as Number One...we are literally the same person, after all...but RIGHT AFTER that is you! The Globalist of Global Champions! The person who became a Grand Slam champion nearly within the space of a year! The person who understands the audience and crowd at a level of intimacy that they cry out her name as a chant no matter WHAT she does! The person who is THE BEST wrestler out there MOST of the time! The person who has gotten MUCH BETTER at that whole consistency thing!”
Sarah “doesn’t notice” Angie opening her mouth to speak as she turns her had to look at their large brother.
“Indeed, Brother! All of those days of ‘hey, which Angie is going to show up today?’ are so long ago that they are nearly forgotten! The times when the Coalition audience didn’t know which Angie they were going to get...the excellent one who repeatedly takes down the likes of Alan Wallace...or the crappy one who gets distracted by her cats and loses half of her championships without making a single defense...are just about gone! Why, winning the Global Challenge, besting a field of truly impressive former champions, has ALMOST erased the foul taste left the fans’ mouth when she lost to Dave Rydell and robbed them of the Infinity match everyone wanted to see!”
She turns back to Angie, and “doesn’t see” the mixture of emotions on her face.
“I know I brought this up recently, but you are SO WELCOME, Baby Sister.”
She steps forward and embraces Angie in a hug, her face coming up to her chest. Sarah had no doubt tried to combat the large height difference with the heels on today’s boots, but Angie had “conveniently” also worn a pair of equally high heels.
"Thank you?"
Sarah squeezes hard.
“You are SO WELCOME for me squishing Dave for you. You are SO WELCOME for me doing what you could not. You are SO WELCOME for me putting him in his place and SQUISHING him for DARING to put his hands on you. You are SO WELCOME for me avenging your loss to him. Because that is what big sisters do, Angelica. They do things for their baby sisters that they themselves cannot. You know, like perform at the HIGHEST level every single week without needing to mentally take weeks off. Or listen to literally every single one of their loved ones when they warn them to NOT trust someone like Dave. Or not allow themselves to be distracted by silly side projects to the point where they become listless among the midcard for entire cycles at a time. I mean, you’re not going to see ME do those things, but I’ll definitely be here to make sure that YOU don’t do them. Again.”
Sarah pushes herself to arm’s length, again choosing to “not” notice that Angie’s normally smiling face is now clouded.
“Fear not, Sister. Your future? Its in my hands. Have no fear of being hurt on Monday, at least not any more than in any other match, for THAT role will be Hide’s. Just like how Thunder and I squished Dave in a way you never could at Infinity, we will flatten your partner. YOU won’t have to worry about getting your head smashed in until I get to do that with my OWN hands!”
Angie’s face suddenly turns from her complex mixture of emotions, of anger and pain and her own willingness to succeed, and into her more accustomed smile.
“Axly! Funny story, that.”
~~FLASHBACK TO: The only time Sarah vs. Angie has happened in a traditional Cooperative match~~
Sar: *avoids a #Vaughnemous kick*
Ang: *does NOT avoid a pre-Mark of Cain Shining Wizard*
Sar: *doesn’t go for the pin and instead goes for a microphone, because of course she does*
Sar: And ANOTHER thing!
Ang: *jams her fingers into Sar’s open mouth with the Ew!*
Sar: *screams and hollers through the entire P.A. system because she was being arrogant enough to bring a mic into the ring*
Sar: *taps out*
~~FLASHFORWARD TO: Angie’s smile as smug as any cat’s~~
Sarah sticks her finger into Angie’s face.
“First of all!”
Angie settles in for what will likely be an unnecessarily long argument.
x1
x1
x1
x1
x1
x2
