In Your Hands 2020

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Miami, Florida, and to the Pay-Per-View event that YOU control, this is In Your Hands!

Lieberjosch: It's the UGWC tradition in which we give power to the unwashed masses, and we roll the dice and try not to crap out.

Vinegar: Seven matches with four championships on the line, and we don't even know yet who will challenge for each of our three singles championships!

Covert Jay: Let's get the action underway!

Mitchell Dennis gets into the ring and is ready to announce.

Mitchell: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULE FOR ONE FALL!

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Mitchell: AND IT IS FOOOORRRRR THE U-G-W-C CROSS-HEMISPHEEEEEEEERRRREEEEE CHAMPIONSHIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP!

The lights go down and “Phucking Phreak” comes over the PA system. Phrixus Diemos steps out onto the stage with the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship strapped around his waist.

Mitchell: MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING, HE IS THE U-G-W-C CROSS-HEMISPHERE CHAMPION, PHRRRIIIIXXXUUUUSSSSS DDIIIIIIEEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

He saunters down the ramp before walking up the steps and climbing into the ring.

Nick Vinegar: We are about to find out right now who Phrixus’ opponent will be tonight. And you have to imagine what’s going through the mind of Fear as he had so many options of who he would fight, and no idea who it could be!

Leiberjosch: Well, I guess we will find out.

The audience is buzzing as we are all anxious to find out who it is.

Mitchell: AAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD HIS OPPONENT, BASED ON YOUR VOTES……………

The lights in the arena cut out completely and nothing is seen but flashes from cameras and cell phones. Then, out of nowhere the opening chords of “VOODOO CHILD” by Jimi Hendrix plays! The strobes and lights come up in unison with the song and the crowd explodes!

Mitchell: DUNCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN RYYYYYYDDDDDEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Duncan Ryder steps out onto the stage and poses for the fans. He saunters down the ramp with a bit of swag so everyone can get a look. He panders to them and just has that nice, arrogant look.

Vinegar: Well, this is a crazy turn as Duncan Ryder got the voters! He is now competing for the Cross-Hemisphere Title!

Leiberjosch: Very interesting. This could be a big and massive win for the former member of the Thames Valley Hit Squad if he can knock Fear off and win the title!

Duncan climbs into the ring and poses on the nearest turnbuckle before he hops down. He looks right at Fear as Brian Chartreuse holds up the Cross-Hemisphere Title for the crowd to see.

Vinegar: That’s what it’s all about, right there. Now, let’s get this match underway!

Covert Jay: I’m pretty excited for this. This has the potential to be a great one.

Vinegar: With Fear and his ease in manipulating his opponents, as well as Ryder’s in ring and mat abilities, this can be a candidate for match of the night.

Leiberjosch: But not the year?

Vinegar: You never know!

DING DING DING

Fear and Ryder circle the ring and prepare for battle. The two lock up, and Ryder immediately goes for a hammer lock. Fear twists out and puts Ryder in a hammer lock of his own. Ryder slides out and gets away, but as he turns around, he’s met with a clothesline from Fear. Ryder ducks and catches Fear as he comes off the ropes. He gets his arms wrapped around Fear, but Fear blocks the potential belly to belly. Fear headbutts Ryder and Ryder staggers back. Fear charges at him and Ryder notices. He goes for a clothesline but Fear baseball slides through Ryder’s legs and out of the ring. Fear quickly runs around the corner and slides back in behind Ryder, who is now looking for him on the outside. Fear gets him in a reverse waistlock but Ryder fights out. The two lock back up and begin pushing each other around the ring, keeping things relatively even at this point.

Vinegar: These two seem hell bent on getting the upper hand that neither one of them can!

Leiberjosch: If Fear wasn’t mucking about, he could’ve had it.

Ryder gets Fear into a headlock. He wrenches it in as Brian Chartreuse gets there and does his job, asking Fear if he gives up. Fear uses his body to move Ryder across the ring at a decent pace. He shoves Ryder off the ropes and the hold is released. Ryder bounces off the ropes to the other side of the ring and comes back. Fear is ready for him on the rebound. Fear ducks down and lifts him for a back body drop but Ryder uses his athleticism to flip through and land on his feet! He continues moving and comes off the other set of ropes and dives at Fear for a flying lariat but Fear turns it into a moving belly to belly but Ryder rolls through as he hits the mat on his shoulders! The two stand up and look at each other as the crowd explodes at the exchange they just witnessed.

Leiberjosch: Both men are still evenly matched with their skillset and we have just seen one of the best back and forth displays in a long time.

Vinegar: Very shocking to see how this has played out. But definitely a great match to see!

Covert Jay: I feel shocked!

Fear gives a nod of approval, and Ryder returns it. Ryder then points down to the timekeeper area at the Cross-Hemisphere Title reminding the world that that is what it’s all about. Fear’s facial expression turns from approving, to devilish very quickly. Ryder smirks and charges at Fear, but Fear ducks under a clothesline. He turns around and is being charged at again by Ryder, but Fear rolls out of the way. Ryder runs right into the ropes but turns around and is met with a swift dropkick! Finally someone is down by a move. Fear grabs Ryder by the head and pulls him up but Ryder swipes his hands up and staggers Fear. Ryder hits Fear with a hard chop to the chest, staggering him back. Ryder rushes forward and hits Fear in the head with a hard forearm!

Vinegar: Here we go! The action is getting going!

Leiberjosch: It’s been very back and forth but I’m really thinking things are about to pick up!

Covert Jay: Things like…..business?

Leiberjosch: ……

Covert Jay: You know, like, business is about to pick up?

Leiberjosch: No, no, I got it.

Ryder whips Fear into the corner and follows up with a body splash. He turns back around and goes in for a clothesline. Fear is still up in the corner so Ryder goes back and hits him with one chop. Then another chop. Then a third chop. With each chop that’s hit on Fear’s chest, the crowd lets out a loud ‘WOO!’ Ryder hits a fourth chop, then a fifth, but when he goes for the sixth, Fear blocks it and drops down before rolling to the outside. Ryder walks to the corner and yells out over the turnbuckle only to have his feet grabbed and he falls to the mat! Fear has a hold of Ryder’s leg and holds onto it tightly while Ryder struggles to break free. Fear grabs it and slams it into the ring post! Ryder yells out in pain but Fear grabs it again and slams it into the ring post one more time! He goes it again, a third time before letting go! Ryder is screaming out in pain at his knee has been smashed into a big metal pole multiple times!

Covert Jay: Ouchies! That has to hurt!

Vinegar: Ouchies?

Leiberjosch: Here comes the methodical destruction from Fear.

Vinegar: It’s what he’s most known for. And he’s been VERY successful.

Leiberjosch: Very much so. And if he can knock off Duncan Ryder tonight it will further solidify why he is a sure fire hall of famer.

Brian Chartreuse kneels down to check on Duncan while Fear uses the time to collect himself on the outside. Brian Chartreuse goes to find Fear but he’s vanished. He is looking on the outside so he can begin the 10 count but Fear has sneakily slid back into the ring and is going after Ryder! He’s hitting a series of stomps on Ryder’s upper body. Finally Brian Chartreuse turns around and glares right at Fear, who continues to go to work. Fear grabs Ryder and pulls him near one of the corners and angles him just right. Fear climbs up to the top rope but before he leaps, Ryder has crawled just out of range. Fear hops down off the top rope and walks over to Ryder. He goes to pick him up but Ryder pulls him in for a small package! 1…2…KICKOUT!

Vinegar: That was oddly close!

Leiberjosch: Fear wasn’t going to let it happen.

Covert Jay: He almost did.

Leiberjosch: Do you know when ‘almost’ matters?

Covert Jay: Right here.

Leiberjosch: Wrong.

Covert Jay: Then when?

Vinegar: Horeshoes and hand grenades.

Covert Jay: Wait, you guys got hand grenades? They only let me have these smoke bombs.

Leiberjosch: What?!

Covert Jay: OH LOOK!

Fear seems surprised but not too surprised as he goes towards Ryder and kicks him right in the head. He picks up Ryder and goes to whip him off the ropes, but Ryder is somewhat back in it as he reverses it! He sends Fear off the ropes and goes for a lariat but Fear ducks under. Fear bounces off the other ropes and comes back only to be met with a huge spear from Ryder! Fear rolls away holding his midsection but Ryder is back up! He heads over and grabs Fear and whips him into the corner! He follows up with a body splash, and multiple shoulder thrusts. Ryder pulls Fear out and hits a hard snap suplex on him. He floats into the cover, 1….2-kick out!

Vinegar: He’s going to need to do a hell of a lot more than that to keep Fear down.

Leiberjosch: Much much more!

Covert Jay: BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

Leiberjosch: Okay Billy Mays, knock it off.

Ryder picks up Fear and pulls him in like he’s going for the Dashing Driver, but Fear breaks free and grabs Ryder’s head for a DDT. Fear picks Ryder up and turns him around, and drops him with a neckbreaker! While Ryder is down, Fear drops a hard knee on the chest of Ryder. Fear climbs up to the top rope after positioning Ryder once again. He leaps off for Fainting, but Ryder has enough in him to roll out of the way! Fear using his quick thinking, rolls through and hits the mat with ease before popping to his feet! Ryder has at this point pulled himself up and is in the corner, staring right at Fear.

Vinegar: These two guys are pretty evenly matches, that it is really hard to decide who we think is going to win this!

Leiberjosch: So you’re saying Ryder has just as much of a chance as Fear to win?

Vinegar: Absolutely! After what you’ve seen, can you honestly disagree?

Leiberjosch: I mean, I will because that’s basically my job. But, I get what you’re saying.

The two head to the middle of the ring and both just enter into a slugfest. Fear with his rights and Ryder with his. Ryder gains the upper hand as he gets multiple shots in at once. Then he hits with a hard right, then a left, and then with a knee to the midsection. Ryder sends Fear into the corner once again. Ryder charges at him but Fear rolls out of the way. Ryder jumps over Fear as he rolls and ends up on the top turnbuckle! Wow, what agility! Ryder turns around towards Fear and jumps, but Fear catches him in mid air with a spear! SPEAR FROM FEAR! Fear rolls away as Brian Chartreuse kneels down to check on Duncan Ryder.

Vinegar: What a counter!

Covert Jay: I really think Fear just likes to do things nobody can see coming and take over a highlight real.

Leiberjosch: That makes a lot of sense, honestly.

Fear looks at the damage and walks over to a downed Ryder. He gets Ryder on his stomach and goes down and locks in Millennial Decay! He pulls back and keeps it locked in as Brian Chartreuse gets in Ryder’s face to ask him if he wants to give up. Ryder keeps screaming but doesn’t give in. Fear keeps pulling back and tightening the hold but Ryder still won’t give in! Ryder is slowly using his leg strength to move himself in the ring closer to the ropes. He gets closer and closer but they are still just far enough to be out of his reach. He is trying to get there but it just won’t happen. Fear notices how close they are and uses his legs and their position to wrap them around Ryder’s body and roll him out to the middle of the ring and re-apply the hold!

Vinegar: What a wickedly innovative way to save himself from having to break the hold!

Leiberjosch: Are you even the least bit surprised that Fear came up with that?

Covert Jay: Smart. Very smart. Like way smarter than a fifth grader.

Vinegar: Just stop. Please.

Fear pulls back and Ryder continues to scream out in pain. He was so close but now he’s even further away. After a few moments of this, Ryder looks to be fading. Brian Chartreuse goes to check in on Ryder but Ryder lets him know he’s still in it, but barely. Ryder looks like he’s about to tap out but still fighting the urge. And just then, he slams his fist down on the mat one time, so it isn’t a tap out. He wiggles through and is able to get one arm behind Fear’s leg. Duncan Ryder is working on pure adrenaline at this point as he uses his leg strength to lift Fear up and forcing Fear to release to other arm. Duncan Ryder has Fear on his shoulders and pushes up and drops him face first with the Electric Chair Drop!!!

Vinegar: OH MY LORD!

Leiberjosch: How in the actual hell did he do that?!

Covert Jay: Bet he can’t do it again!

Vinegar: It was unbelievable! After all that pain he just endured, he was able to pull that off?!

Leiberjosch: He must really, really want this win!

Both men are down as Brian Chartreuse begins his count. 1…..2……3……both men start to crawl towards the ropes. Fear slowly pulls himself up as Brian Chartreuse reaches 7. Now Ryder is up! But as he turns around he is met with a kick to the midsection! He doubles over and Fear grabs him and shoves him into the corner. But Ryder is ready for him and fights back! He punches Fear multiple times before flipping the roles. He send Fear into the corner. Ryder picks up Fear and sets him on the top rope. Ryder climbs up and stands Fear up on the top rope, following right behind him. He reaches down and grabs Fear’s leg.

Vinegar: No way…

Leiberjosch: You don’t think….

Vinegar: This could go horribly no matter which way you spin it!

Leiberjosch: Well, after this, as long as it’s over, that’s what counts, right?

Vinegar: NO! THIS COULD BE HORRIBLE!!!!

Ryder is going for the Dashing Driver off the top rope! Fear is able to get his leg back down. He is still locked up by Ryder! Ryder reaches down to try and get Fear’s leg again, but to no avail! Brian Chartreuse is pleading with them to get down off the top rope! Fear gets his head loose and pulls back. He hits Ryder right in the head with a hard fist! Fear puts his leg back as if he’s ready to lung. He leaps and swings around on Ryder’s neck, pulling him down off the top rope with NUMBING! BOTH MEN CRASH TO THE MAT HARD! THE CROWD IS IN SHOCK AS THEY START CHANTING “HOLY SHIT!”

Vinegar: OH MY GOD!

Leiberjosch: I believe the crowd has the right term…

Fear doesn’t waste any time as he positions Ryder and then staggers over to the corner. He climbs back up to the top rope. He steadies himself and leaps! METEOR PRESS! COVER, 1…….2…….3!!!!!!!!!

Mitchell Dennis: HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND SSSSTTTTIIIIILLLLLLLLLL THE U-G-W-C CROSS-HEMISPHERE CHAMPIIIIIIIIOOOOONNNNN…….PPPPPHHHHHRRRRRRIIIIIXXXXXXXUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS DDDIIIIEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Phrixus Deimos - 7.08

Duncan Ryder - 7.01

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: In February, at Infinity, Dave Rydell had his first One on One Match for the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship since UGWC’s very first Pay-Per-View almost ten years ago. That match, after a decade of perseverance, ended like this.

[Footage plays of Redd Thunder emerging from the crowd and costing an unexpecting Dave Rydell the match at Infinity]

Vinegar: Rydell is given the opportunity here tonight to get a modicum of revenge on the man who dashed his dreams.

Lieberjosch: Dave has an opportunity to get squashed like a bug again, you mean? You saw what Thunder did to him last time, what makes you think it will be any different tonight?

Covert Jay: Dave will see him coming this time for a start.

Lieberjosch: It doesn’t matter if a tidal wave hits you from the front or back, the result is the same, and Thunder is a Human Tsunami!

Dennis: The Following match is scheduled for one fall, and the Special Guest Referee has been chosen by you, the fans, and that person is:

Dennis: RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOBBBBBBEEEEEERRRRRTTTTT OOOOOOOOOOLLLLEEEEEY!!!

Lieberjosch: Seems the fans hate Rydell as much as me! He’s well and truly screwed now!

Vinegar: My broadcast colleague is referring to the fact that Rydell let his frustration get the better of him last time he saw Robert Ooley.

Lieberjosch: He physically assaulted a superior in a fit of petulant rage!

Covert Jay: You can’t sit there and pretend Ooley hasn’t had that coming for a long, long time.

Lieberjosch: I just hope Dave enjoyed embarking upon such folly, because now he is going to get what is coming to HIM tonight.

Vinegar: It’s certainly the least pleasing of the options for Rydell, neither Old Lady Levene or Owen Peterson hold any obvious animosity towards him at this time, but clearly Ooley will have an axe, or more precisely a baseball bat, to grind as he officiates this match.

Dennis: Introducing the first competitor…..REEEEEEDDDDD TTTTTTHHHHHUUUUUNNNNDDDDEEEEERRRR!!!

Vinegar: This is Thunder’s opportunity to show UGWC what he can do, despite his explosive and shocking debut with the company he has largely underwhelmed ever since,

Lieberjosch: I wouldn’t say he has underhwlemed, he just hasn’t been given the chance to show what he is all about, sadistic destruction!

Dennis: And his opponent DDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVEEEEE RYYYYYDEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

Covert Jay: Dave explodes onto the stage and he is already jaw jacking both men as he walks down the ramp pointing towards them.

Lieberjosch: He just insists on making things worse for himself doesn’t he? I also don’t think he has noticed Ooly has fashioned a black and white striped shirt for Louis, his baseball bat, which indicates he will be keeping him by his side for this match.

Vinegar: it doesn’t look like Rydell caresas he quickly slides into the ring and gets in the face of Thunder. When Ooley tries to get between them Rydell shoves him in the chest and turns to Ooley and presses his nose against the Director of Human Resources.

Covert Jay: Both men seem to have plenty to say to each other…

Vinegar: And Thunder takes advantage of the situation and clobbers Rydell across the back with a Double Axe handle.

Lieberjosch: Didn’t you say he’d see him coming this time, Jay?

Vinegar: Ooley signals for the bell with a smile on his face.

DING!

Lieberosch: Thunder unloads another Doible Axehandle to Rydell’s back and sends him to one knee, before drgging him to his feet and whipping him towards the ropes…

Vinegar: Rydell manages to jmp onto the middle rope and springboard backwards.

Covert Jay: VIRUS OF LIFE!!!

Vinegar: Rydell makes the cover…

Covert Jay: Ooley taking an age to reluctantly get to his knees to make the count.





























1…

























2…
























3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner….DDDDDAAAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEEE RRRRRRRYYYYYYYDDDDDDDDEEEEEEELLLLL!!!!

Vinegar: despite a ludicrously slow count from Director Ooley, Dave Rydell has gotten revenge on Redd Thunder in emphatic style tonight.

Covert Jay: he’s on his feet and staring a whole through Ooley…

Vinegar: But he extends his hand to Ooley, and explains this was all about Thunder, and ooley grabs it, shakes it and raises his hand in victory.

Covert Jay: VIRUS OF LIFE!!!

Vinegar: Rydell takes Ooley out out of nowhere and then does press ups over hsi unconscious skull while talking trash to him, before getting to his feet, saluting the fans that have gone wild and heading out of the ring...but he pauses..looks back, and steps back in…

Covert Jay: Before grabbing Louis from the floor beside Ole’ Bob and hoisting the bat in the air, before departing with Ooley’s prized possession in his grasp.

Vinegar: This may not be over…

Lieberjosch: Ya think?


Dave Rydell - 6.86

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We’re two matches into “In Your Hands” twenty-twenty and it’s already been a hell of a night. Just in case what you’ve seen wasn’t insane enough for you, you’re now going to see the reigning UGWC Chaos Champion, Kenzi Gray look to extend that reign as she faces the extremely violent and unhinged newcomer, Tempest.

Lieberjosch: These two have the beginnings of a pretty intense rivalry developing and Tempest has promised to take the Chaos Championship from her. We’ll see if he can deliver on that.

Vinegar: Indeed we will, Hans. Let's not forget that it could have been either former Chaos Champion, "The Icon of Entertainment" Travis Pierce standing across the ring from Kenzi or relative newcomer Maria Salvatore.

Lieberjosch: Pierce would have made sense. At least he's been here before. Salvatore hasn't do anything to deserve this. At least not unless you somehow count soap opera like BS as being related to the a Division.

Vinegar: Well, marriages are chaotic, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Don't remind me. On that cheerful note, let’s go toe Mitchell for the introductions.

Mitchell Dennis: Introducing first, THE CHALLENGER. He stands today at six feet and two hundred and five pounds....



The psychedelic opening to White Zombie’s “Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks and Cannibal Girls” hits and the arena is engulfed in green and pink lights. Daedalus enters first, wearing a bright fluorescent green and pink suit with cartoonish monsters haunting the fabric. Behind him, Tempest enters with pants that match his manager’s suit. And behind him, in single file, is their enforcer, Ny-Otep, wearing a black SWAT team outfit complete with a riot helmet with splotches of blood on the visor. Behind them, the screen is as psychedelic as the rest of the atmosphere, bright colors spiraling in and out of the screen, and the words “It’s Alive” pulsating in between. The tempo of the song picks up as the three men walk down to the ring. Tempest seems to move with the music, bizarre and unorthodox, on his way down. He rolls into the ring as Daedalus and Ny-Otep walk to opposite sides of the ring. The chorus hits as Tempest crawls across the ring. His manager and enforcer stand above him, Daedalus with a cheerful grin. Ny-Otep stands with his huge arms crossed in front of his chest, peering from behind the riot helmet.

Mitchell Dennis: He is TEEEEEEEEEEMPEEEEEEEESTTTTTTTT!!!!

Covert Jay: This kid gives me the heebie jeebies.

Lieberjosch: It’s a sad day in wrestling commentary when the use of the phrase “heebie jeebies” is acceptable.

Covert Jay: Why? Don’t you know what it means?

Lieberjosch: Of course I know what it means.

Covert Jay: Then what’s the problem.

Lieberjosch: You are. As usual.

Vinegar: Tempest has proven to be a problem for Kenzi for the past couple of months.

Lieberjosch: Nice transition.

Vinegar: Thank you.

Lieberjosch: You’re welcome.

Vinegar: Tempest has been harassing and attacking Kenzi ever since he arrived in UGWC. She was his immediate target.

Lieberjosch: And he’s failed to beat her.

Vinegar: So far. That might change tonight.

Lieberjosch: Maybe. Maybe not. Kenzi has repeatedly shown herself to be resourceful and merciless. Tempest has been unable to figure her out so far.

Vinegar: We’ve also seen that not only is Tempest not afraid of gratuitous violence, but he embraces its use.

Lieberjosch: That’s true. He’s an interesting character, he just doesn’t have anything to show for it so far.

Vinegar: He has Kenzi’s attention. She’s the queen of self-promotion. That’s not nothing.

Lieberjosch: That’s...fair.

Vinegar: It’s gotten him this Chaos Championship match.

Lieberjosch: Yes, and he’s more deserving of it than say, Maria Salvatore is.

Vinegar: She got more votes from the fans than Travis Pierce did, and he’s a former Chaos Champion!

Lieberjosch: The masses are fickle and stupid, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Maybe they want to offer her an official welcome to the company.

Lieberjosch: By letting her get whacked in the head with a frozen fish?

Covert Jay: They’re just taking a weird trout to get there.

Lieberjosch: You had better not devolve to a barrage of fish puns for the remainder of this match.

Covert Jay: Why? Would that be a pain in the bass?

Lieberjosch: I’m not paid enough for this.

Covert Jay: It’s not like I’m fishing for jokes.

Lieberjosch: No. You’d never do that.

Vinegar: This is going to be a long match.

Lieberjosch: The match might be short, but Jay’s commentary will make it feel like an eternity.

Vinegar: Did you just set yourself up?

Lieberjosch: I’ll let you decide that.

Covert Jay: You were angling for humor, but couldn’t land it.

Lieberjosch: Kill me.

Vinegar: Let’s go to Mitchell.

Mitchell: And his opponent…. She stands at five feet, two inches tall and hails from Hollywood, California. She is the REIGNING and DEFENDING UGWC Chaos Champion. She is KENZIIIIIII GRAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!



“Gimme Your Applause” by Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera begins to play as lightbulbs flash all through the arena. Kenzi Grey walks out with a confident smile for the fans as an explosion of pyro erupts and she strikes a pose for the cameras, opening her jacket to reveal the UGWC Chaos Title. She pauses to adjust the heavy black brace on her right knee, then heads down the aisle slapping the outstretched hands of the fans. At ringside, she removes her title and climbs onto the ring apron and pauses again for the flash of the cameras, kneeling there with a smirk holding her title out for the fans to see. She climbs the turnpost and gives the fans one more photo opportunity as she sits atop the turnbuckle, still blowing kisses and posing for the fans. She hops down, finally entering the ring as she readies herself.

Vinegar: As a reminder, this isn’t just a run of the mill Chaos match.

Covert Jay: Have we ever done a Chaos style Run of the Mill match?

Lieberjosch: “Run of the Mill” matches are basically chaos matches in a mill, so yes.

Covert Jay: So you’re saying that this match is going to be a run of the mill match.

Lieberjosch: No. I’m saying the exact opposite.

Covert Jay: So it’s not a Chaos match?

Lieberjosch: Of course it’s a Chaos match. Look at all of the weird crap that’s arranged at ringside.

Covert Jay: That’s not a nice thing to call Owen Peterson.

Lieberjosch: Do you see Owen out here?

Covert Jay: No.

Lieberjosch: Ok then. I wouldn’t say that even if he WAS out here. There was enough… discomforting language thrown during some of their promos.

Covert Jay: Creative license?

Vinegar: I don’t think there’s ever any need for that language.

Lieberjosch: I must agree.

Vinegar: Now, as you pointed out Hans, there’s a few… unusual items laid out before use at ringside. Those items include...a “big ass” frozen mackerel, a half-eaten burrito, a shock collar and a “Tickle Me Elmo”.

Lieberjosch: You’re omitting one.

Vinegar: Yes, because once again poor Owen Peterson has been put into this match as a weapon.

Lieberjosch: The fans are savages. It’s the modern Flavian Amphitheater.

Covert Jay: The what? There’s no such place.

Lieberjosch: Of course there is, else I’d not have brought it up.

Covert Jay: I think you’re making it up.

Vinegar: It’s the Roman Coliseum, Jay.

Covert Jay: Then why did he call it the Flavored Armpit?

Lieberjosch: The what? I said no such thing.

Vinegar: Take a breath, Hans. I’ve got this one.

Lieberjosch: Thank you, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Jay, what we call the Roman Coliseum was named the “Flavian Amphitheater” when it was built by the Emperor Vespasian.

Covert Jay: I don’t get it. Why do we call it something else?

Vinegar: I’ll explain it later. For now, we have one of the most dominant talents of at least the last year in Kenzi Gray facing off against an up and coming young talent who I’m not entirely sure isn’t legitimately insane.

Lieberjosch: I admit that I don’t know the young man well enough to know if his stalker toned promo for this match is to be taken at face value, or if the young man has a deeper grasp of psychology than we’re all aware of.

Vinegar: I admit Hans that I have no idea.

Lieberjosch: He’s up against someone who’s among one of the most talented ring psychologists we’ve ever seen.

Vinegar: I don’t know that provoking Kenzi before a championship match was a good idea. She takes a great deal of pride in being Chaos Champion.

Covert Jay: She IS the greatest Chaos Champion in UGWC history.

Lieberjosch: Not statistically she isn’t.

Vinegar: That record is still held by her mother-in-law, Le Bord de Dieu who’s record still stands at two-hundred and sixty-four days.

Lieberjosch: You mean LACKLAN.

Vinegar: Whatever she calls herself, it’s still her record.

Covert Jay: Hazel just called for the bell.

Vinegar: The two advance slowly on each other. I don’t like the look on Tempest’s face. It’s…

Covert Jay: Creepy.

Vinegar: That’s a good word for it.

Lieberjosch: It’s adequate.

Vinegar: He walks up to Kenzi, leering at her all the way and...is he…

Covert Jay: Uh…yeah.

Lieberjosch: I believe he just sniffed her from neck to ear.

Covert Jay: If I did that, I’d end up in the hospital.

Vinegar: You’re assuming that he won’t.

Lieberjosch: You raise a valid point, Nick.

Vinegar: The only thing more noticeable than that Tempest began the move that way, is that Kenzi barely reacted to it.

Lieberjosch: It’s going to do more than that to throw her off.

Vinegar: I bet her wife is less than amused by it.

Lieberjosch: That’s a better bet.

Vinegar: Tempest takes a couple of slow steps back with an ear to ear smile on his face. For her part, Kenzi is stone faced.

Lieberjosch: She's faced stranger than this. She fought her mother in law.

Covert Jay: Yeah, and she's nuts!

Lieberjosch: I'll make sure that Lacklan hears about that declaration.

Covert Jay: Suddenly I feel the need for a sick day.

Lieberjosch: We don't get "sick days".

Covert Jay: Oh. Now it makes sense.

Lieberjosch: Dare I ask, but now what makes sense?

Cover Jay: Why my requests were always denied with the note "Tate doesn't work here anymore".

Lieberjosch: It staggers the imagination that you can dress yourself without help.

Vinegar: Back in the ring, both the champion and her challenger cut to the chase and slide out of the ring.

Lieberjosch: I see that they're going to forgo the violence foreplay. I approve.

Covert Jay: They can't do that.

Lieberjosch: Can't do what?

Covert Jay: Foreplay! Kenzi is a married woman and that could cost us our broadcasting permission.

Lieberjosch: We broadcast over the internet. I'm certain that we're safe.

Covert Jay: I hope so. I wouldn't want the FAA to come after us.

Lieberjosch: I...nevermind. Back to you, Nick.

Vinegar: Thanks, Hans. Kenzi and Tempest continue to toss items into the ring with such enthusiasm that it looks like we're auditioning for a part in "American Pickers".

Lieberjosch: It is rather… crowded in there.

Vinegar: That's one word for it.

Lieberjosch: There's so much crap in there that there won't be room for the wrestlers.

Vinegar: No argument here. They just continue to toss items into the ring. I think there might be a literal kitchen sink in there.

Lieberjosch: Ingrates.

Vinegar: How do you figure?

Lieberjosch: We give them a perfectly good shock collar but somehow that's not good enough.

Vinegar: I'm sure they work it into the match.

Lieberjosch: I'm sure they will too.

Covert Jay: Only one of them is emptying out the other side of the ring.

Vinegar: How can you tell?

Lieberjosch: He can't. He's just being his usual idiotic self.

Covert Jay: No. Someone's definitely pulling some ninja moves here.

Vinegar: Jay's right!

Lieberjosch: Look up, Kenzi!

Fans: Oooohhhh!!!

Covert Jay: The graveyard weirdo has some serious ninja skills.

Lieberjosch: I'm sure he'd be thrilled by that sobriquet.

Covert Jay: Then he shouldn't drink before shows.

Lieberjosch: What?

Covert Jay: You said that he'd be thrilled by being sober.

Lieberjosch: No. That's not what I said.

Vinegar: Kenzi looked up just in time to see Tempest perform a senton off of the turnbuckle.

Covert Jay: Yeah, right onto her face.

Lieberjosch: His run across the ropes was an impressive display of balance and agility. It appears that Kenzi wasn't expecting that.

Vinegar: Spider Man might not have expected that.

Lieberjosch: Fair. Silly, but fair.

Covert Jay: I could have done that.

Lieberjosch: You can't put your pants on without tripping.

Covert Jay: Have you been spying on me?

Lieberjosch: Maybe you're not the only ninja here.

Vinegar: Tempest pulls Kenzi up and throws her into the barrier.

Lieberjosch: Her back made a hell of a thud. Having seen the kind of violence that Kenzi can bring, that may have been a mistake.

Covert Jay: How so?

Lieberjosch: It hurts, but it won't disorient or injure her. He should have thrown her into it face first.

Covert Jay: When did you start hating on Kenzi?

Lieberjosch: Never. Quite the contrary. Kenzi is a proven talent here who can go toe to toe with our most dangerous wrestlers. Throwing her into it back first won't do much to slow her down.

Vinegar: Tempest follows up with a barrage of stomps to her stomach, then pulls her up and drives her back first into the edge of barrier. She lets out a yelp of pain and retaliates with an elbow that lands between his shoulders.

Covert Jay: He didn't seem to notice.

Lieberjosch: No, he noticed. In fact he smiled.

Covert Jay: Sometimes pain can be arousing.

Lieberjosch: I have no desire to know why you know that.

Vinegar: Tempest pulls Kenzi up into a bear hug and proceeds to violently jerk her back and forth.

Lieberjosch: That's a better approach, given how her head is jerking back and forth.

Covert Jay: I wish she'd

Lieberjosch: DON'T say it.

Vinegar: Tempest spins and throws Kenzi back first into the turnbuckle with a release overhead belly to belly suplex.

Covert Jay: That sounded… unpleasant.

Lieberjosch: What? No quip about how some people like that?

Covert Jay: No. I'm good.

Lieberjosch: Just checking.

Vinegar: Kenzi doesn't get a chance to let out even a cry of pain as Tempest pulls her up by her hair into another bear hug and runs her back first into the post.

Lieberjosch: The kid definitely has a plan.

Covert Jay: Shouldn't he weaken her legs?

Lieberjosch: It doesn't matter what her legs can or can't do if her back is crippled.

Vinegar: Tempest looks down at her with a sadistic smile.

Lieberjosch: I figured that's just how he looks with his eyes open.

Vinegar: I'm not sure that it isn't.

Covert Jay: Is he…

Lieberjosch: Yes, Jay… he's smelling her again.

Vinegar: That's rather disconcerting.

Lieberjosch: What's disturbing is that he's doing it to her while he has her wrapped into some kind of full Nelson type of move.

Vinegar: Yes, the almost constant sniffing is pretty creepy.

Lieberjosch: He did tell her that he's attracted to her.

Vinegar: I'm sure he can find less... stalkerish ways of showing it.

Covert Jay,: I'm sure that she prefers that to being driven face first into the floor like he just did to her.

Lieberjosch: That's a low threshold to meet.

Covert Jay: So's the floor.

Vinegar: Tempest seems momentarily satisfied with his handiwork as he smiles at the at least momentarily downed Kenzi and walks over to the special table and pulls the burrito up and takes a large bite out of the already bitten and of the burrito and walks over to Kenzi, who hasn't budged.

Lieberjosch: How uncouth.

Vinegar: "Uncouth"? That leaps way past "uncouth".

Covert Jay: I think I'm going to be sick.

Lieberjosch: Maybe he's into birds.

Vinegar: I don't even want to describe that.

Lieberjosch: Which part? The lip lock or what came after it?

Vinegar: What came after it.

Lieberjosch: For you bird enthusiasts out there, he just acted like an adult bird feeding its young while he held her mouth open.

Vinegar: That was a mercifully polite way of describing what he did.

Covert Jay: Whoa!!!

Lieberjosch: I bet he wasn't expecting that!

Vinegar: Kenzi just vaulted from the floor in a rage and drove her head right into his nose! She spits the burrito into his face, then crams the remainder of it into his mouth and bounces him head first off of the ring post!

Lieberjosch: She's heading for the table.

Covert Jay: Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn… tell us the lesson that Tempest should learn!

Vinegar: Batter up!

Lieberjosch: "Batter". That was pretty clever, Nick.

Vinegar: Kenzi swings her chosen weapon right at Tempest's face!

Covert Jay: Holy mackerel!!

Lieberjosch: You see, that wasn't funny.

Vinegar: Kenzi drives the remainder of the burrito into Tempest's mouth with the big assed frozen mackerel!

Covert Jay: It took him clean off of his feet!

Lieberjosch: It did a little more than that. This might be the first time that I've ever seen anyone knocked out with a fish.

Vinegar: Kenzi continues to whale away at him with the frozen fish.

Covert Jay: Apparently he's the deadliest catch.

Lieberjosch: That was almost funny.

Vinegar: Kenzi finishes tormenting Tempest with tempura and rams the fish under his head before she storms away.

Lieberjosch: Not for long!

Covert Jay: Incoming!

Covert Jay: She just played the scale on his head!

Lieberjosch: Ok, THAT was funny.

Vinegar: "Walk of Fame" on to the mackerel!

Lieberjosch: That was creative.

Vinegar: Kenzi drops into the pin on the floor!

Covert Jay: Hazel drops for the count!

Lieberjosch: Tempest kicks out at two!

Vinegar: Kenzi pops to her feet and snatches the mackerel out from under the still down Tempest and proceeds to pummel him with it!

Covert Jay: She's fish mongering him!

Lieberjosch: You see, that joke doesn't work.

Vinegar: Kenzi continues to batter him with the mackerel and he just laughs at her.

Lieberjosch: There's something seriously wrong with this young man.

Vinegar: Kenzi finally throws the fish down and latches onto his wrists while she rears back with her braced knee.

Covert Jay: Seafood on seafood violence!

Lieberjosch: How crass.

Vinegar: Tempest low blows Kenzi with the mackerel and drops her to her knees. He roughly jerks her up by her hair, then wraps up her braced knee in his arms and smiles viciously!

Lieberjosch: Now that was unnecessary!

Covet Jay: That's not how Kenzi wanted to scale the ring post!

Vinegar: Kenzi could be done!

Lieberjosch: With the sound that made, someone should check her brace to make certain that it's not broken.

Vinegar: Kenzi is down and screaming in agony on the floor as Tempest surveys his handiwork with a satisfied smile.

Covert Jay: Hazel needs to stop this! Kenzi's career might be at stake!

Lieberjosch: She knew this was possible when she won that Chaos Championship.

Vinegar: Now he's calling his muscle over. Come on!

Lieberjosch: It's perfectly legal.

Vinegar: It's disgusting. He doesn’t think he can beat her by himself?

Lieberjosch: Why should he if having his monster get involved is legal?

Vinegar: Right now his monster is holding Kenzi up by her feet while he gets one of the chairs that was tossed into the ring.

Lieberjosch: And he’s sliding out with said chair. All’s legal.

Vinegar: Ny-Otep silently holds Kenzi up by her feet as his boss slides from the ring and winds up.

THWACK.

Covert Jay: There’s nothing ninjalike about that.

Lieberjosch: There doesn’t have to be. It worked.

THWACK

THWACK

THWACK

THWACK

THWACK

Vinegar: Tempest has delivered six straight chair shots to Kenzi in a show of cowardly brutality.

Lieberjosch: How was it cowardly, because this is a Chaos match where anything goes and he’s used his obvious advantage to take over the match?

Vinegar: He shouldn’t need Ny-Otep to get involved.

Lieberjosch: I’m certain that he doesn’t, but if one has an asset available, one might as well use it.

Vinegar: He’s used it to immobilize Kenzi as he’s alternated between hitting her in both the back and her bad knee with the chair.

Covert Jay: It looks pretty rough right now.

Lieberjosch: What does? Her knee?

Covert Jay: No. The chair, silly. I can’t see her knee under the brace.

Lieberjosch: But you can hear her yelling in agony.

Covert Jay: Well, sure. She’s not being quiet about it.

Lieberjosch: And what would you opine that the purpose of her yelling is?

Covert Jay: I don’t see any trees here.

Vinegar: Tempest has finally thrown the mangled chair down after at least twelve different chair shots.

Fans: OHHHHH!!!!

Vinegar: Oh come on!!

Covert Jay: One armed powerbomb onto the apron!

Vinegar: That wasn’t a powerbomb, so much as he just slammed her into the ring apron like she’s a child’s toy.

Lieberjosch: It worked.

Vinegar: This is unbelievable!

Lieberjosch: I don’t know. It’s right in front of me, so I find it pretty believable.

Vinegar: Ny-Otep tosses Kenzi into the ring and follows her in, kicking the detritus of destruction out of his way as he does so. Meanwhile, Tempest is pulling a table out from under the ring.

Lieberjosch: While things look bad for Kenzi right now, I know she’s going to come back somehow and show this kid who she is.

Vinegar: She’d better do it before one or both of them kills her.

Covert Jay: The table is in the ring now.

Lieberjosch: It is and Ny-Otep is setting it up with Kenzi on it.

Vinegar: This could be over long before we see the shock collar introduced.

Covert Jay: Or Owen!

Lieberjosch: It’s absurd that these Philistines keep putting Owen Peterson in harm’s way.

Vinegar: Ny-Otep places Kenzi on the table and slams a big log-sized forearm across her chest. Tempest tells him to hold her down as he pushes a gigantic ladder into the ring.

Covert Jay: The ladder match is later.

Lieberjosch: Very good, Jay.

Vinegar: Ny-Otep continues to hammer Kenzi across the chest while Tempest sets the ladder up.

Covert Jay: That’s a...big ladder.

Lieberjosch: I have a feeling that that ladder wasn’t ever meant to be a part of the ladder match.

Vinegar: Tempest has a chair as he climbs the ladder. Ny-Otep lays in another hammering forearm strike as Tempest reaches the top of the ladder and smiles.

Lieberjosch: Say goodnight, Gracie.

Vinegar: Tempest leaps! He looks like he’s going for the “Crystal Lake Mantra”!

Covert Jay: Ninjette!!

Lieberjosch: What the hell??

Vinegar: Kenzi was hiding the shock collar!

Lieberjosch: It’s not hiding anymore.

Covert Jay: I’m sure that Ny-Otep wishes that it was!

Vinegar: So does Tempest!

Lieberjosch: That was a hell of a palming job by the Chaos Champion and she’s neutralized Ny-Otep as he goes stiff as a board as the voltage short circuit his nervous system.

Covert Jay: He just toppled over the top rope and fell from the ring!

CRASH!!!

Vinegar: Kenzi moved!! Kenzi moved!! Tempest crashes through the table with the chair under him!!!

Covert Jay: Jesus! That table just exploded!!

Lieberjosch: I bet Tempest’s hip did too.

Vinegar: Kenzi tries to shake the pain out of her knee as she almost literally peels Tempest off of the mat. She grabs the chair that he tried to use on her and drags him over into the corner. She wedges the chair into the corner and lays Tempest against it, then grabs another one from the pile of pain in the ring and wedges it in front of Tempest’s face.

Lieberjosch: How the hell is she going to run on that bad leg?

Vinegar: We’ve both seen people achieve incredible things in that ring.

Lieberjosch: That’s true.

Vinegar: Running knee strike into the chair!!

Covert Jay: Tempest is stiff!!

Lieberjosch: If it wasn’t for what I just saw, I’d think you were making a crude and idiotic joke.

Vinegar: Tempest just slid down onto the mat and he HAS to be unconscious.

Lieberjosch: I think what’s left of him just slid out of the ring to the floor, but you have to ask yourself how much that took out of Kenzi and her injured knee. He hasn’t moved since hitting that knee strike.

Covert Jay: What if she gets counted out?

Lieberjosch: She can’t get counted out, idiot.

Covert Jay: Why not?

Lieberjosch: Well, for one thing, she’s still in the ring.

Covert Jay: Oh yeah. I forgot.

Lieberjosch: How have you lived for this wrong without someone to take care of you?

Vinegar: There are no count outs in a Chaos match. All Hazel is there to do is to count the three.

Covert Jay: Speaking of which, where’s Owen? He’s supposed to be in this match.

Lieberjosch: He is conspicuous by his absence.

Vinegar: Kenzi is finally stirring while Tempest continues to lay in a heap on the outside.

Lieberjosch: Everything changed when she took out his hitman and fooled him into putting himself through that table.

Vinegar: Kenzi is up.

Lieberjosch: And back down.

Vinegar: Her knee just collapsed under her. That knee strike into the chair might have done more harm than good for her.

Lieberjosch: Quite so, Nicholas.

Vinegar: Kenzi pulls herself up with the ropes and shakes her knee out a couple of times.

Lieberjosch: Then collapses back to one knee again.

Vinegar: Her knee is definitely in brutal shape right now.

Covert Jay: You have to give her credit though, she has a bullfrog mentality.

Lieberjosch: No, Jay. Just...no.

Covert Jay: What?

Vinegar: It’s “bulldog mentality”, Jay.

Covert Jay: Oh. I always wondered why people kept comparing people to “Frogger”.

Lieberjosch: Frogger? What the hell does “Frogger” have to do with anything?

Covert Jay: Bullfrogs. DUH. Where HAVE you BEEN, Doc?

Lieberjosch: Not far enough away from you.

Vinegar: Kenzi reaches through the ropes and goes to grab Tempest. Can she pull him back into the ring?

Lieberjosch: We’ll never find out, but she’s back in center ring now!

Covert Jay: Ninja strike!

Vinegar: What the hell happened?


Lieberjosch: I have no idea. Let’s take a look!

Vinegar: Whatever it is, it has Kenzi clutching at her face!

Lieberjosch: Christmas came early!

Cover Jay: He hit her with his sack!

Lieberjosch: JAY!!

Vinegar: I wouldn’t have phrased it quite that way, but yeah.

Lieberjosch: I see it now! Tempest hit her in the head with some kind of large sack that was under the ring!

Covert Jay: That’s what I SAID!!

Lieberjosch: Well, it’s safe to say that while that sack is blue, if the look on his face is any indication…

Vinegar: We get it, Hans.

Lieberjosch: Good.

Vinegar: Whatever was in that bag, Tempest is using it to wear Kenzi out as he continues to waffle her with it.

Covert Jay: Blue waffle?

Vinegar: No, Jay. Just...no.

Covert Jay: But the sack is blue and he’s waffling her with it.

Vinegar: Please just let it go.

Covert: Let it GO!! Let it GO-OH!!

Lieberjosch: Shut up, imbecile.

Vinegar: Tempest continues to pummel her with that sack, and whatever is in it, it’s apparently poking through the bag because Kenzi’s bleeding from her face!

Lieberjosch: I have no idea what it is, but you’re right. Every time he hits her, it opens up a new cut.

Vinegar: Tempest holds the bag up and laughs as he’s loudly booed.

Lieberjosch: It appears as if we’re about to see what’s inside of it.

Vinegar: It looks that way, as he undoes the drawstring and upturns the bag.

Lieberjosch: It’s hundreds of little Owen’s!!!

Vinegar: Tempest grabs a handful of them and hammers away at Kenzi’s face, making her into even more of a bloody mess!

Lieberjosch: It can’t be long now.

Covert Jay: That’s what she said.

Lieberjosch: Only to you.

Vinegar: Now they’re both covered in blood, since Kenzi busted Tempest open with the knee strike into the chair.

Lieberjosch: That took a lot longer than I expected it to.

Vinegar: Tempest reaches up to strike her with a fistful of Owens…

Lieberjosch: Low bridge!

Vinegar: DDT onto the weapons pile! Kenzi topples over!

Lieberjosch: If Kenzi can pull herself back up and drape an arm across Tempest, she could extend her reign!

Vinegar: Neither of them is moving right now.

Covert Jay: Maybe Hazel wants to chat while she waits.

Lieberjosch: If she does, it’s not with you.

Vinegar: Jay has a point. All Hazel can do is wait.

Covert Jay: Hopefully she doesn’t have to wait for long.

Lieberjosch: She won’t. Kenzi is already twitching.

Vinegar: I have no idea how, but she’s somehow managed to drop an arm across Tempest. Hazel drops for the count.

Lieberjosch: One!!

Covert Jay: Two!!

Vinegar: Tempest kicks out, but only barely! Kenzi slams a fist on the canvas and slowly pulls herself to her feet. She grabs Tempest by the sides of his head to pull him up.

Covert Jay: What the??!!

Lieberjosch: Where the hell did that come from??!!

Vinegar: I have no idea how, but Tempest managed to scoop Kenzi up and drop her onto the weapons pile with the “God Eater”!! He drops on top of her!!

Covert Jay: ONE!!!

Fans: TWO!!!

Lieberjosch: THRE...NO!! Kenzi gets her shoulder up!

Vinegar: Tempest looks surprised, but his expression quickly turns to one of joy as he realizes that he gets to inflict more punishment on her!

Covert Jay: Kenzi is trying to pull herself up him by his legs as he just smiles down at her.

Lieberjosch: You left the important adjective out.

Covert Jay: What adjective is that?

Lieberjosch: Sadistically.

Cover Jay: Oh. I suppose that fits.

Lieberjosch: Trust me, it does.

Vinegar: Tempest reaches down and slowly pulls her up by her chin before he slowly takes in her smell again. He pulls her into the full nelson and looks down at the stack of weapons that sits below them. He spots something and smiles…
Lieberjosch: It’s a spool of barbed wire! Not that chincy stuff either, it’s the prison razor wire!!

Vinegar: MY GOD!!!

Covert Jay: Jesus Christ!!!

Lieberjosch: Damn...

Vinegar: He just drove Kenzi face first into the razor wire with the “Boomstick”!!

Lieberjosch: God. Just pin the poor woman already!

Covert Jay: I’m glad that I can’t hear her screaming.

Lieberjosch: That’s because she isn’t. I’d be willing to bet that she’s unconscious from shock.

Covert Jay: I hope so. Nobody deserves to suffer like that.

Vinegar: What the hell is this sadist doing now?

Lieberjosch: He looks like he’s debating between going for the pin and… making sure that she’s out.

Vinegar: Just PIN her already!!

Lieberjosch: It doesn’t look like that’s what he’s doing.

Covert Jay: How in the hell is she moving already?

Lieberjosch: She’s tough as hell.

Vinegar: Tempest is building a chair lineup in the ring.

Covert Jay: Is that a sheet of plywood?

Lieberjosch: It appears to be.

Vinegar: Tempest slams the plywood down and grabs Kenzi by her hair and drags her up the ladder. What the hell could he have in mind?

Covert Jay: Oh no. Not that.

Lieberjosch: Even I think that’s a bit much.

Vinegar: Tempest gets to the top of the ladder and hoists Kenzi up over his shoulders.

Lieberjosch: It looked to me like he kissed her on the forehead first, then...apologized to her?

Vinegar: That’s what it looked like to me.

Covert Jay: God, no. Not this, Tempest! This is overkill!

Lieberjosch: Based on what we’ve seen of this sadistic young man, he sees this as a sign of respect. She won’t stay down, so he’s going to employ overwhelming force to PUT her down.

Vinegar: But at what cost? Her career?

Lieberjosch: It seems to be a sacrifice that he’s willing to make.

Vinegar: Don’t do it, Tempest! Don’t do it!

Covert Jay: HOLY FUCK!!!

Lieberjosch: Well fuck me sideways with a pineapple…

Vinegar: GOD EATER THROUGH THE PLYWOOD AND THE CHAIRS!!!

Lieberjosch: Tempest drapes his arm over Kenzi, but Hazel is momentarily frozen!

Vinegar: She finally snaps out of it and drops to the canvas!

Lieberjosch: ONE!!!

Covert Jay: TWO!!!!

Fans: THREE!!!!

Mitchell Dennis: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNER AND NEEEEEWWWW UGWC CHAOS CHAMPION…. TEEEEEEEMMMMMMPEEEEESSSTTTTTTT!!!!

Vinegar: My god, someone get medical staff down there for those two! Kenzi could be seriously hurt!!

Lieberjosch: What a gutsy performance from the now former Chaos Champion!! I thought she had it in the bag once she neutralized Ny-Otep and Tempest put himself through the table somehow, and in some way, the kid fought back and now the ring looks like someone detonated a bomb inside the ring.
Vinegar: Kenzi put up an inspired fight, but this kid’s savageness was just too much for her to overcome in the end. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s going to take us a few minutes to get both of these entertainment professionals properly attended to and get the ring cleaned up, so please don’t go away.

Covert Jay: Stick around, folks. The Battle Royal is next!!

Vinegar: Good god, I hope they’re ok...



Tempest - 7.28

Kenzi Grey - 7.26

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: What a night we are having here in Miami at In Your Hands!

Lieberjosch: We just saw a new Chaos Champion crowned after our clearly disturbed fan base elected Tempest to challenge for the title, and earlier tonight the fans selected Duncan Ryder to challenge for the Cross-Hemisphere Title, in what I can only accept as proof that the voting app potentially does not function properly!

Vinegar: It’s time now for a Battle Royal involving everyone that was a part of those ballots and wasn’t elected into a title match, and Jay, tell us what is on the line?

Covert Jay: With 50% of the vote, the fans have selected for the winner of this Battle Royal to have a future title shot at the Cross-Hemisphere Title!

The Generic Heel makes his way to the ring, wearing a robe crafted by the dreams of youth.

Vinegar: Here comes the reigning UGWC Chickenwing Eating Champion, not sure why that’s a thing, but it is.

Lieberjosch: This man is simply incredible.

Covert Jay: Overwhelmingly sexy.

Vinegar: ...right.

The stage pyros blow as the music hits, and as the music softens Travis Pierce emerges from backstage and makes his way to the ring.

Vinegar: Surely a disappointment for Travis Pierce, not being elected to face Kenzi Grey earlier tonight.

Lieberjosch: Of course he’s disappointed! Everybody in this match should be disappointed, but they can still make something of this night with a victory here!

Covert Jay: For Travis, the potential to challenge Kenzi tonight was personal, probably relieved that the Chaos Title isn’t the prize here, I’m sure he wants no part of Tempest.

Lieberjosch: No reasonable person should.

"Roll the Bones" by Rush begins to play. A blond haired, blue eyed man dressed in black trucks with the letters BS on the front in red, plain black boots and a white t-shirt emerges and begins to walk to the ring. He acknowledges the crowd, pausing halfway down to lift his hands up above his head, first to the left, then turning one-hundred-eighty degrees to the opposite side. He then turns and finishes his walk to ringside. He walks around, a bright smile on his face and ascends the steps to the apron. He turns around slowly, a complete three-hundred-sixty degree turn to take in the crowd. He gives a salute and walks to the middle of the apron and ducks, going between the upper and second ropes. Inside, he takes off the t-shirt and tosses it out to the floor, showing a well cared for physique.

Vinegar: A disappointing debut last week for Bolt Shockley, opportunity to make up for it here tonight.

The first few seconds of "The Mob Rules" by Black Sabbath begins to play, and once “Whoooooahh, come onnn!” is heard, Hide Yamazaki bursts through the curtains, swinging his chains and forcing out a sadistic-sounding laugh.

Soon after, "The #1 Hit-Maker" Johnny Bonecrusher emerges as well, keeping a good distance away from the wild man. He slaps his hands together and clasps them together sinisterly as he basks in the chaotic energies of his client. The swinging of the chains continues as Yamazaki makes his way down the aisle, showing no regard as to whether he might strike a fan or not. Johnny then speeds on past, ducking under the chain "propellers" and stopping once he's at the top of the ring steps. Yamazaki throws his chains into the ring with reckless abandon, inciting the referee to shout at him, which accomplishes nothing. Johnny just smirks and shrugs coyly at the referee. He pries the ropes apart, and Yamazaki darts in between them, entering the ring in a staggering way. Johnny then casually descends the steps and begins circling the ring.

Vinegar: There are actually two members of Team Johnny in this match, with the Digital Warrior scheduled to participate as well.

Lieberjosch: But Johnny is always on the lookout for new talent, so who knows how many he’ll have by the end of the night!

Candy by Cameo begins to blast across the sound system. As it does Maria comes out wearing her Maria Hearts Maleek leather jacket. She smiles as she slaps the hands of the fans that are cheering her on. She can’t stop smiling as she immediately runs her way to the ring and slides right inside. She makes it to her feet and runs to the top of the turnbuckle holding her arm proudly in the air. As she continues to flip off the fans.

Vinegar: Lots of drama surrounding this young woman in recent weeks, and news broke today that next week on the debut episode of Chill in 2020, Maria Salvatore and a partner of her choosing will face off against Maleek Raheem and a partner of HIS choosing.

Covert Jay: I love when we UGWC and chill, it’s been too long.

Cold as Ice by M.O.P plays over the sound system as the white snow comes down on the ramp. Konrad Raab comes jumping and walking out wearing a hooded coat over his head with his Pitbull logo and his The Iceman nickname on the back of it, along with his name. He also wears his blue and white wrestling trousers with black gloves on both of his hands with a side cross necklace on his neck with the blue and black yin-yang tattoo on his right shoulder, Iceman from X-Men tattoo on his back, ice wolf tattoo on his left chest and ice bear tattoo on his right chest.

He heads to the ring, high fiving the fans and goes up the stairs before going in-between the ropes and takes the hood off. Konrad climbs on the turnbuckle and does a holdup on each of the turnbuckles as the fans cheer him. He then takes his coat off and prepares to wrestle as he does a few punches to the camera before the match begins.

Vinegar: Could be a big opportunity for Konrad Raab, big opportunity for everybody in this match, with a title opportunity on the line.

The opening rift of Pass Out by Tinie Tempah begins to chime through the arena, the arena all in darkness until, in time with the beats the letter S in red, the letter E in white and the letter B in blue hit the screen – the final next beat signals a smaller “III” overlying the lower half of the letters.

As the next beat hits, alternating red, white and blue spot lights shine down upon Sebastian Everett-Bryce III, as he stands in the middle of the entrance-way, his arms outstretched. He’s wearing a long hooded jacket, pulled up over his head, and a zip to the waist. The jacket is cut away at the bottom so it only runs down the back of his legs – the jacket is patterned with an elongated Union Flag. His tights are short, with the same initials and styling from his tron video emblazoned upon the front.

As "Let's Go!" lyric hits, the lights lift, and SEB makes his way to the ring, sneering at the fans at each side of the walk to the ring – he makes no effort to avoid their gaze or their boos. Instead, he revels on it, making the point of exchanging words with some of them around ringside before rolling into the ring…

As the Chorus hits again, he extends his arms once more, before pulling back his hood and revealing the back of his tights which read “Welcome to the Empire.”

Vinegar: And will tonight be a return to the empire for Sebastian Everett-Bryce III, looking to get his career back on track.

Lieberjosch: He nearly won the fan vote to challenge Deimos earlier tonight, and I for one believe that had he won that vote, he’d have won back the title here in Miami!

"Black Hole" by Skism featuring Trampa plays, as Danny James comes out to the ring with multicolored lights turning him into a silhouette on the ramp, until he turns the lights of his suit on and reveals himself to the crowd. He walks out to the ring, deadly serious. He slides into the ring and climbs to the top rope, posing for the crowd.

Covert Jay: 01010100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110001 01110101 01101001 01100011 01101011 00101110.

Vinegar: What?

Covert Jay: Trust me.

DING DING!!

Vinegar: Battle Royal under way, a shot at the Cross-Hemisphere Title on the line, and-

Lieberjosch: Bolt Shockley hip tosses Danny James over the ropes and out of the ring!

Elimination: Danny James

Covert Jay: 01010100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110011 01101000 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110001 01110101 01101001 01100011 01101011 00101110.

Lieberjosch: Stop that!

Covert Jay: It was electric, boogie woogie woogie.

Vinegar: First elimination already out of the way, and Hide Yamazaki immediately pounces on Shockley, pounding him in the back and attempting to force him over the ropes.

Lieberjosch: They’re pairing off, Raab grappling with SEB on the far side of the ring, Maria going right after Pierce with a series of slaps that back him up.

Covert Jay: The Generic Heel is busy basking in his own glory.

Vinegar: Pierce catches Salvatore with a knee, lifts her into a fireman’s carry, but she floats off the back and runs them both forward into the ropes, only for Pierce to hold the ropes and bump her back.

Lieberjosch: Pierce turns around but runs right into a drop toe hold, Maria rolls to her feet and plants Pierce with a DDT.

Covert Jay: SEB stomping Raab down in the corner, he turns his attention to Maria but walks right into a dropkick.

Vinegar: Salvatore with a running knee on Raab in the corner, as Yamazaki continues to attempt to force Shockley out.

Covert Jay: The Generic Heel is now basking atop a turnbuckle, and Maria shoves him off!

Lieberjosch: But he grabs the top rope and is able to land on the apron, and that was clearly all planned and intentional on the part of the Generic Heel.

Vinegar: Of course it was.

Lieberjosch: It was!

Vinegar: Salvatore goes to help Yamazaki try to eliminate Shockley.

Lieberjosch: Hide hesitates and gives her a confused expression, this might not have been a good idea.

Vinegar: Yamazaki grabs her by the head and tosses her over Shockley and out of the ring!

Elimination: Maria Salvatore

Covert Jay: It gives Bolt an opening to kick Hide away, he drops safely back into the ring.

Vinegar: Shockley backs Yamazaki up with chops to the chest, ducks under a retaliatory clothesline, and scoops Yamazaki into the Power Surge!

Lieberjosch: Shockley to his feet, sidesteps a charging Pierce and counters with a hip toss, now a hip toss for SEB!

Vinegar: But Raab blocks a hip toss, clotheslines Shockley to the mat!

Lieberjosch: Release German suplex to Pierce, and now one for Hide!

Vinegar: Raab kicks the Generic Heel in the chest, sets up a double arm German.

Covert Jay: tGH slips out, and SEB catches Raab with a roundhouse!

Vinegar: Shockley knocks SEB down with a clothesline, grabs Raab and goes to toss him, but Raab counters and reverses positions, and he tosses Shockley out!

Elimination: Bolt Shockley

Vinegar: Raab turns his attention back to the Generic Heel, delivering a kick to the chest, and Raab tries to force him over the ropes.

Lieberjosch: The Generic Heel is almost out, but he pokes Raab in the eye and drops back into the ring.

Vinegar: Raab stumbles, and Yamazaki grabs him from behind and tosses him out!

Elimination: Konrad Raab

Vinegar: The Generic Heel is pleased with himself, but turns right into Pierce, who lifts him into a fireman’s carry.

Lieberjosch: Hide immediately boots Pierce in the face, as the Generic Heel safely lands on his feet. He grins as Hide stomps on Pierce, having escaped again, but turns right into SEB and a snap T-Bone suplex!

Vinegar: The Generic Heel tries to get right to his feet, but the Nando’s Warrior is already back up as well, and he tosses him out!

Elimination: The Generic Heel

Covert Jay: This is a clear victory for the Generic Heel.

Vinegar: How do you figure?

Covert Jay: He can beat Hide to catering.

Vinegar: Yamazaki gutwrenches Pierce up into a powerbomb, but turns right into a superkick from SEB!

Lieberjosch: SEB pulls Pierce up into a German suplex, rolls through into a release that hurls him into the turnbuckle!

Covert Jay: Standing moonsault kick on Pierce, SEB runs to the far corner and comes charging back!

Lieberjosch: Bit of a Kick!

Vinegar: Pierce sidesteps it, SEB crashes into the corner and stumbles back out, and Pierce pulls him into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!

Lieberjosch: Pierce down to a knee, he collects himself and stands and turns right into a spinning back fist from Hide!

Vinegar: Yamazaki yanks up SEB, forces him to the ropes and shoves him over!

Covert Jay: But SEB ninjas his legs around Hide’s head, he’s pulling him along over the ropes with him!

Lieberjosch: SEB lands on the apron, Hide spills to the outside!

Elimination: Hide Yamazaki

Vinegar: The Chelsea Crippler gets to his feet on the apron, but Pierce is back up and reaches over the ropes, grabbing him by the head!

Covert Jay: THE TRUTH HURTS!!!

Lieberjosch: Through the ropes, and SEB is launched to ringside!

Dennis: Here is your winner, TRRRRAVVISSSS PIIEERRRRRCCCEEEEEEEE!!!

Vinegar: Pierce wins!

Lieberjosch: Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good, and Travis Pierce picked his spot and won this Battle Royal tonight, and a future shot at the Cross-Hemisphere Title!

Covert Jay: The ladder match for the Cooperative Championship is next!



Travis Pierce - 7.17

Sebastian Everett-Bryce - 7.13

Hide Yamazaki - 7.11

Generic Heel - 6.85

Konrad Raab - 6.57

Bolt Shockley - 6.46

Maria Salvatore - 6.08

[Lord Hastings]

Multi-color lights flash over the stage settling on pink, Sloane emerging from the back full of energy and all smiles. She stops on the stage and looks around her at the crowd, taking it all in before starting off down the ramp.



She greets the crowd, slapping hands and posing for quick selfies with the fans before rushing the ring. Sloane slides in under the bottom rope and springs to her feet, dancing around the ring and playing to the crowd, hyping them until her music ends.

 

Angie Vaughn soaks up the adoration of the crowd as she joins Sloane in the ring.



Vinegar: #Sloanemous have found kindred spirits in one another recently, with the veteran and the rookie budding a friendship that allows them each to help the other overcome some of their hangups. They've been really good for each other.



Lieberjosch: I for one have been very happy to see them agree to Levene's suggestion of conducting lessons in etiquette for some of our more unruly roster members.



Covert Jay: Neither are strangers to Cooperative gold, so let's see if that pays off tonight in this ladder match!!

Music would start up, plays for about 30 seconds and when drums hit in Travis appears through the curtain. His arms will be spread out as if expecting a hero’s welcome, but of course no-one knows who he is. Not put off by any weak reactions, shrugs his shoulders, and looks around as if to say “I was born to do this, and you’ll all know it soon enough”.



As he struts down to the ring, he nods and smiles in a fairly patronising way at the crowd. But will generally stop in the vicinity of an attractive women and begin to talk to her, after a while he’ll remember what he’s supposed to be doing, and slip the girl his number, and almost begrudgingly head to the ring.



On climbing into the ring, will look his opponent up and down, and grin to himself whilst shaking his head as if to say “this is what you have for me?”

 

The lights go out, and stay out for a few seconds, before a lone spotlight begins to shine down upon the stage. As the music first starts out, fireworks go off around the area that the spotlight showcases. Up through the flooring of the stage rises 'Vain' Alan Wallace - a buxom blonde standing to his left, and a gorgeous brunette standing to his right. As the lift that they are being raised by comes to a stop, the two women drop to their knees and turn towards him, running their hands down his chest and abs, before giving each other a kiss. Vain tosses the hood of his robe back, revealing that beautiful money maker of his, and then throws his arms up in the air as he begins walking towards the ring, and his two harlots make their way backstage. Upon entering the ring, he spins around in a circle with his arms raised high, basking in the reaction of the people. He then prepares for the task in front of him, as his music begins to fade out.



Vinegar: Blessed Vanity has been on a tear recently, even if they're not always on the same wavelength outside of the ring.



Lieberjosch: You try letting that Chuck Lorre wannabe at the Piercing Media Network call your shots and see how much you can cooperate with your partner.



Covert Jay: I thought we did ok when he and Jet were purchasing shows.



Lieberjosch: We three? Are not partners.



Vinegar: Roberts with Pierce is strange, but Wallace has recently given some mentoring to, of all people, his oppenent tonight, Sloane.



Lieberjosch: We'll see if their recent interactions have any influence on this contest.



Dennis: The following match is a ladder match, and is for the UGWC Cooperative Championship! Introducing the challengers, with a combined weight of 261 pounds, Angie Vaughn and Sloane Taylor, they are ############SLOANEMOUS!!



Vinegar: of course he elongated the hashtag.



Dennis: And the champions, with a combined weight of 450 pounds, Travis Roberts and Alan Wallace, it's BLESSSSSSSSSED VANITYYYYYYYYYYYY!!



Vinegar: Wow, #Sloanemous giving up nearly two hundred pounds to Blessed Vanity.



Lieberjosch: But both members are known for their speed and agility. And let's not forget how many times Angie has had Vain's number any time they've met.



Both teams stand in the ring, tense, waiting for the bell to ring, and when it does, Sloane and Vaughn leap to attack, but Roberts and Wallace drop and roll out of opposite sides of the ring away from them. Roberts is the first to obtain a ladder, a hook ladder, and he slaps it over the top rope. Sloane as running that way, and he leverages himself up to shoot both feet under the rope and knock hers from under her.



Vinegar: "The Headliner" kicking us off by already employing the first ladder of the match!



Roberts stands up in the ring and starts to unhook the ladder as Vaughn drops over the ropes on the other side to drive knees into the back of Wallace, who was digging under the ring for a ladder of his own. She drags him from under and whips him into the security barrier, following up with a running thrust kick that crumples him.



Lieberjosch: Teams are evenly matched at the moment, but Roberts is advancing on Sloane with that hook ladder!



He runs toward where she's on her hands and knees, plants a foot on her back, and leaps upward, swinging the ladder over his head. The hook comes within a foot of snagging one of the Cooperative Championships! When he's not successful, he takes it out on Sloane by teeing up and sweeping the hook ladder into her midsection.



Covert Jay: Ooof!



Lieberjosch: Roberts demonstrating his expertise by keeping Sloane grounded.



Outside the ring, Vaughn stomps away on Wallace, but, noticing her partner in trouble, goes for the foot of the ladder that Wallace had started to drag out, and yanks it up. It's a ten foot aluminum ladder, and she sticks it on the ring apron and gives it a mighty shove that catches the ankle of Roberts, causing him to hop away from Sloane in pain.



Vinegar: If she can follow up, that might give Team #Sloanemous the opening to go up!



Vaughn is in the ring now, and she darts across the ring to throw a massive spinning backhand slap to the side of Robert's head that rocks him to one knee. She kicks the back of his other knee, and then begins a series of YES! kicks!



Covert Jay: That's unusual..



Vaughn pauses when she realizes the crowd isn't punctuating her kicks with their shouts like usual, and instead are chanting:



LAD-DER!



LAD-DER!



LAD-DER!



She pauses, but a whistle behind her causes her to spin out of the way as Sloane comes barreling in, nailing Roberts in the back with the ladder like a battering ram! He slumps forward over the middle rope, and Sloane leaps over the ropes for a headscissors to the outside! She leaps to her feet and motions for Vaughn to use the ladder by pointing up at the belts.



Vinegar: This could be it!



Vaughn turns and stands the ladder up, pausing for a moment as she gazes up at the height of the belts. She's about to take her first step onto the ladder when a small stepladder flies out and crashes into it, knocking it from her grasp and toppling it. She snaps her head sideways to see Wallace standing on the second rope, and he leaps off to connect with a knee to the face!



Lieberjosch: Sloane rushing the ring now, but Wallace sees her!



Covert Jay: Fameasser as she steps through the ropes!



Wallace is now the one alone in the ring, and he goes for the a-frame Vaughn was using earlier, but his mouth quirks as he realizes he crumpled one of the supports with the force he hit it earlier. Tossing it aside he hops down out of the ring where Roberts is starting to get up. He checks on him and then converse for a moment before dragging a couple more ladders out. Wallace has a rolled-up flexible ladder and Roberts is hauling an extension ladder into the ring. Wallace goes to climb into the ring, but Roberts isn't finished, and he continues to pull ladders out and slide them into the ring.



Vinegar: That pile of various ladders keeps growing as Wallace makes his way over to Sloane.



But Sloane suddenly explodes up, hitting Wallace with a slingblade! She grabs the rolled up ladder and unfurls it. She grabs Wallace by the arms and uses the rungs of the ladder to lock him into a double chickenwing situation, then takes up the other end of the ladder and starts pivoting around in the center of the ring. Wallace has no choice but to try jogging backwards as Sloane rotates, and he manages to leap over the crumpled ladder he destroyed earlier, only for Vaughn to slide the small stepladder he threw at her out. Wallace trips and crashes into the huge pile that Roberts has amassed!



Lieberjosch: Roberts facepalming as he goes to climb into assist.



Vaughn runs for Roberts, but he puts a finger up as if to tell her to wait. She doesn't, of course, and he shrugs and shoots his right foot out, which had been standing on an extension ladder! It shoots out and catches her on the shins, sending her faceplanting into the rungs! He waits a moment for her to bounce up and hits THE SHINING WIZARD OF OZ!!!



Lieberjosch: Look out!



Sloane is incensed, and she smacks him across the back with a folded platform ladder! Roberts curls up as she smacks him again, then lays it on top of him.



Vinegar: She's rolling Vaughn away from where Roberts is now sandwiched between the extension ladder and the platform ladder.



Sloane cuts a handspring and lands in a sitting position on to of the platform ladder and Roberts!! She ducks, almost getting walloped by the side of a ladder from Wallace! He has stuck his head through the middle of the ladder, holding it as if in a stockade, and it's only moments that the other end comes flying toward her! Unseen, Vaughn has gotten to her feet, though, and she jumpkicks the upper end of the ladder, which sends the base of it to the floor, the upper end still held by Wallace. Sloane sees her opening and runs up the slope of the ladder toward his head -- and Wallace just drops the ladder, killing her momentum as she smacks the mat.



Lieberjosch: Brilliant.



Covert Jay: He hasn't stopped Vaughn's momentum! EW!!



Vaughn manages to use that hold to force Wallace toward the ropes, and then suddenly delivers a bicycle kicks that sends him flying through and crashing to ringside. She turns to see Sloane standing on top of a six foot platform ladder, and claps as Sloane hits Seeing Stars on Roberts! Together, they push him out of the ring and embrace briefly before going back to dig for ladders that will get the to the belts above.



Lieberjosch: Honestly, who puts an attic ladder in a ladder match?



They spend a few experimental moments setting up ladders to see if they'll work - an articulated ladder that forms a four foot 'M' on the mat, a wooden painter's ladder with a paint can holder, a pool ladder, which they set aside over the turnbuckle, an orchard ladder, and what looks like a Powerwheels version of a firetruck, complete with an extendable turntable ladder. They chuckle over this as they finally each find a suitable A-frame ladder to set up in the center of the ring.



Vinegar: Moment of truth here...



Sloane starts up immediately, but Vaughn hesitates. Seeing this, Sloane pauses and descends again. Vaughn laughs it off and puts her hand on Sloane's back, pointing up.



Covert Jay: I think she's suggesting Sloane go up and retrieve both straps?



Sloane shakes her head vehemently, insisting they do it together. She grips Vaughn's shoulders and looks confidently into her eyes, until Vaughn finally smiles and nods. They each start up the ladders, Sloane allowing Vaughn time to keep up with her as she negotiates the climb. They're about three quarters of the way up when a metallic rumbling cuts through the roar of the crowd.



Lieberjosch: Oh my god!



Hurtling down the ramp, Roberts pushing as hard as he can, is a warehouse ladder! At the top of the steps, bracing himself, is Alan Wallace, pointing toward the ring like a revolutionary war general. They're going so fast that Roberts has to pump his legs like a madman to keep increasing the momentum. Finally, he dives to one side as the rolling ladder smashes against the ring apron and Wallace jumps at exactly that moment to dive into the ring for a double clothesline!!



Vinegar: JESUS TITTYFUCKING CHRIST!



Sloane spills to one side, landing on the articulated ladder, and Vaughn spills over the top of her ladder, crashing through the wooden paint can holder on the painter's ladder! At the top of the warehouse ladder, Roberts bows before stepping into the ring.



Covert Jay: TRLAOCIAFSOS!



Vinegar: How do you figure?



Lieberjosch: #Sloanemous were lulled into a false sense of security that they had time to have their mini pep rally, and that Blessed Vanity wasn't already plotting their next attack outside the ring area!



Wallace grabs the pool ladder and turns around as Robert scoops Sloane up to her feet.



Covert Jay: SILVER LINING!!



Sloane is still reeling from the impact earlier but manages to get her signature out in desparation and dives for the ladder, barely catching a rung to hold herself up. On the other side, Wallace hooks the curved top of the pool ladder over Vaughn's shoulders and hits the CURTAIN CALL!



Wallace is climbing one of the ladders, while Sloane struggles to make her way up the other. He looks over and sees her, then looks up at the belts. She's going to be close enough to give him problems by the time he stands at the to and puts his fingers on them, and will be caught up before he can unhook them. Shaking his head, he steps over onto her ladder. Sloane looks up, defiantly. Wallace shrugs and yanks her in close, turning as he does.



Covert Jay: CHERRY POPPER ONTO THE FIRETRUCK!!



Vinegar: He's broken Sloane, the firetruck, and I think himself in half!!



Roberts has gotten gingerly to his feet now, and is trying his luck getting up the ladder. Every couple rungs, he stops to shake out the cobwebs. He doesn't notice Vaughn has gotten unsteadily to her feet. He's pushing himself slowly up, rung by rung, until he pushes himself up to the top.



Lieberjosch: I can't believe what I'm seeing.



Vaughn has lifted up that orchard ladder perpendicular to the ladder that Roberts has nearly crested.



Vinegar: That's a tripod-style ladder with the third rail serving as the steadying leg for the other sides.



It reaches nearly all the way to the top of the ladder on which Roberts now stands precariously reaching for the belts. Making her mind up and forcing her fear down, Vaughn sprints up the steep incline toward him. As she nears the top, she goes for a flying kick, but Roberts grabs the belts and lifts himself up, swinging his legs way up and out of the way.



Covert Jay: Oh no!!



Vaughn sails over the ladder under him, finding nothing to impact but the ladder, and it tips spilling her over the ropes to the outside. Roberts kicks his legs as he unhooks both belts simultaneously, and drops to land beside his partner. He rolls in pain from the impact, but manages to toss one of the belts over him as Dennis calls for the bell.



Dennis: Your winners, and STILL UGWC COOPERATIVE CHAMPIONS!! ALAN WALLACCCCCCE AND TRAVIS ROBBBBERTS!!! BLLLLLLLLLLLESSED VANITTTTTTTTTTTTTY!




Blessed Vanity - 7.39

#Sloanemous - 7.21

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We're almost at our main event but before that we're going to see the two competitors you did not vote to face our World Heavyweight Champion, Sarah Grey-Lacklan.

Covert Jay: The suckers you guys don't like.

Vinegar: That's a harsh way to put things Jay. All three nominees are popular with our fans, but there could only be one challenger.

'Invidia'

Lieberjosch: It is utterly staggering that the UGWC fans would not vote this man to challenge for the Heavyweight title. He was the obvious choice.

Donovan Hastings walks out onto the stage and opens his arms to the boos of the crowd.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 230lbs! The Lord of Pain! Donovaaaan Haaaastiiiings!

Vinegar: How so?

Lieberjosch: He beat Roxy Cotton at Horizons. He beat Sloane Taylor at Infinity. The Lord of Pain is on a tear.

Hastings makes his way down towards the ring and takes his time entering.

Vinegar: Well I guess that's not who our fans wanted to see face our Champion tonight.

Covert Jay: Who they didn't want to see get whooped by the Champion tonight.

The house lights go down to only the emergency lights, giving the arena a surreal, sepia look. As the opening licks of "Gone Sovereign" by Stone Sour begin, the remaining lights pulsate in rhythm with each chord. The crowd cheer.

Vinegar: Listen to these fans! They're hyped up to see Jet Somers back in the ring.

Lieberjosch: Not enough to vote him into the Heavyweight title match though.

As Jet Somers parts the curtain and steps out on the ramp. His hood is pulled up, and he surveys the crowd from under it as the song continues.

Dennis: And his opponent! Weighing in at 185lbs! The Living Weapon! Jet Someeeeeeeeers!

Vinegar: No, it seems that honour goes to Gabriel Baal who will be facing Sarah Grey-Lacklan in our next match.

Lieberjosch: Absolute travesty.

Vinegar: We get it. Your favourite Donovan Hastings didn't get the vote. Maybe he should stop calling the fans peasants.

Lieberjosch: It's not just that. I'd even have voted for Jet Somers here over Gabriel Baal.

Vinegar: You surprise me.

Lieberjosch: Well it's simple really. The Global Challenge winner was given a UGWC Heavyweight title shot. Gabriel Baal was eliminated in the first round of that contest, yet here he is.

Vinegar: And Angelica Vaughn will be facing the winner of that match at Coalescence.

Lieberjosch: Sure. So Baal, having lost, gets a title shot before the winner. How can that be justified?

Covert Jay: He's....got a point.

Vinegar: Well...

Lieberjosch: The fans are idiots. They screwed the pooch on this one. Don't even try to defend them.

There's a tense pause in the music, and Jet lowers his head, crossing his hands in front of him.

This is Mine!

As soon as the singer screams those words, Jet lights out at a run down the ramp, explosions on either side shooting toward the rafters in his wake while the song kicks in properly. He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and leaps to his feet. Donovan Hastings climbs to the outside.

Vinegar: For what it's worth. Hastings isn't looking too disappointed to be in this match.

Lieberjosch: Why would he be. He's going to win a third PPV match in a row with a victory over an old rival. I'm certain he will relish this opportunity.

Jet finishes posing on each turnbuckle then waits in the centre of the ring as Donovan Hastings casually climbs back up the steps to re-enter the ring. The two meet in the centre, nose to nose were it not for the height difference.

Vinegar: You can cut the tension in the room right now with knife.

Lieberjosch: Or any number of other sharp clichés.

Vinegar: Referee Alice Nasmith separating the two men now and laying down the rules. There is plenty of bad blood in the ring right now. It may be difficult to keep these two men under control. Best to establish who's boss early. Sending both men to their corners then calls for the bell.

Ding! Ding!

Vinegar: The two men beginning this match circling one another.

Lieberjosch: Don't expect too much of a feeling out process in this one. These men know each other as well as any two opponents in this company.

Vinegar: They close the distance and Hastings goes for a collar and elbow tie up. Somers goes for a knee strike but Hastings has that scouted and, grabs the leg and takes Somers down with a leg drag. Somers able to kick Hastings hands away and kips straight back to his feet.

Covert Jay: Ninja recovery!

Vinegar: Hastings lunges to get a hold of Somers again but Somers sees it coming and sidesteps it, hits a stiff roundhouse kick to the body, dropping Hastings down to his knees. Somers following up with an axe kick. Hastings this time with the move scouted, rolls under the leg as Somers raises it and he drops the heel on nothing but air.

Lieberjosch: What did I tell you?

Vinegar: Hastings rises and tries to pull Somers into a German Suplex in one smooth movement but Somers gets his leg between Hastings and is able to block it. Hastings dodges a couple of back elbows as Somers tries to fight him off.

Lieberjosch: One of these men is going to have to try something knew if they want to get the advantage in this one. I know who I think is more capable of doing so.

Vinegar: Somers fighting the hands locked around his waist now. Hastings breaks his grip and changes level, locking in a sleeper hold.

Lieberjosch: Beautiful misdirection there.

Vinegar: But Somers counters with a quick drop shoulder throw and locks up the arm. Hastings rolls out of the lock. Somers still has his wrist but Hastings gets his knees under him, gets to his feet and counters into an arm wringer on Somers.

Covert Jay: Ninja escape!

Vinegar: Somers just did a standing front flip to remove the tension on his shoulder. Throws a big right straight.

Lieberjosch: Hastings again has it scouted and slips aside.

Vinegar: The punch was a feint though and The Lord of Pain bit on it, hook line and sinker and eats the left hand instead, knocking him back to the ropes. Somers goes to follow up.

Lieberjosch: But Hastings throws him bodily over his shoulder to the outside.

Covert Jay: Opie still has those ninja reflexes, gets a hand on the rope.

Vinegar: Somers able to keep a grip and land himself on the apron. Goes for his own sleeper hold!

Covert Jay: When Jet Somers or anyone in MMA does it it's called a rear naked choke Nick.

Vinegar: Whatever you want to call it, Somers has the hold locked in and wraps his legs around Hastings body.

Lieberjosch: He's got him pinned back against the ropes!

Vinegar: And Alice Nasmith steps in the break the hold. Somers forces her to make the five count though and releases it at four.

Lieberjosch: I wonder if the fans are still so happy to see Somers after that flagrant abuse of the rules of competition.

Vinegar: I think against Donovan Hastings they'll let it slide. Hastings falls forwards, trying to catch his breath. Somers waiting on the apron.

Lieberjosch: He can't be waiting around on the Lord of Pain. His recovery is inevitable.

Vinegar: He is getting back to his feet. Jet springboards and hits a downwards elbow to the top on Hastings head, knocking him straight back to the ground. Somers makes the cover.

1!


2!


Vinegar: An early two count for Somers but that's all it is.

Lieberjosch: Bought by cheating and cheap shots.

Vinegar: Somers pulls Hastings up to his feet then uses another elbow strike to knock him to his knees. Following up with a series of kicks to the chest of Hastings. Runs to the ropes and comes back with a basement dropkick. Looking for a kimura now.

Lieberjosch: And with that Somers makes the dual decisions of being predictable and playing to the Lord of Pain's strengths. Hastings has the where-with-all to make it and scramble then uses his strength and freestyle wrestling skills to take advantage.

Vinegar: Hastings able to get away from the hold, gets his legs under him and shoots for a double leg takedown but Somers sprawls and stays on top. Switches to a guillotine choke, drops back. Good ring position.

Lieberjosch: He's not going to get it. I can see from here the Lord of Pain has control of that choking arm and is protecting his airway. Somers trying to muscle it in like an amateur. His ring rust is clearly showing.

Vinegar: You might be right-

Lieberjosch: I am.

Vinegar: Well, Hastings just lifts Somers up. Jet still fighting for that choke.

Lieberjosch: That he's not going to get.

Vinegar: And Hastings just rams him full speed into the corner to break the hold.

Lieberjosch: And now he just looks mad.

Vinegar: That vicious knife edge chop would agree.

Crowd: Woo!

Vinegar: But as usual Hastings takes too much time to strut and celebrate such a minor victory. He turns his back on his opponent. As he finally goes to follow up Somers hits him with a right hand.

Lieberjosch: Didn't have much on it. I wonder if Jet has suffered muscular dystrophy while he's been in that coma.

Vinegar: He wasn't in a coma.

Lieberjosch: I think it's less embarrassing for him if he just says he was. Hastings shakes off that punch.

Vinegar: Hastings shoves Somers into the corner again and unloads a rapid series of open hand and knife edged chops.

Crowd: Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Lieberjosch: Somers chest is lit up like a Christmas tree.

Vinegar: Hastings draws him out to the centre of the ring and takes him over with a bridging Northern Lights Suplex. Holds the pin.

1!


2!

Vinegar: Only a two count again.

Lieberjosch: But the Lord of Pain achieves it through resilience and skill. No short-cuts taken.

Vinegar: Not yet. It's only a matter of time when the Lord of Pain is involved though.

Covert Jay: I hate to be the sensible one but we should probably be talking about the match. Jet just got up and went like- h-ya, and Hastings was all, phew, then it was like, pow!

Lieberjosch: What?

Vinegar: I was paying attention Jay and for those at home, Jet recovered and went for his Kao Loi knee strike, but Hastings swayed back to avoid it and managed to counter with a spinebuster as Somers came down.

Covert Jay: And now he's like, grrr. This play-by-play is easy.

Vinegar: I think you need a little more practice friend. And again for those at home, following the slam Hastings has gone for the Hands of Fate but Somers scrambles away and gets hold of the ropes.

Lieberjosch: You could see the abject fear on his face. I wonder if there is a name for a fear of someone so wholly physically superior to you as Donovan Hastings is over Jet Somers. Remind me to ask Phrixus Deimos one day.

Vinegar: You call it fear, I call it ring smarts. Just like much of this match so far, Somers had Hastings trademark move scouted and got away before it could be applied. Nasmith in between the two men again, allowing Jet to get back to her feet.

Lieberjosch: Well now she's overstepping her bounds. Jet was down and the Lord of Pain had every right to stomp a whole right through him.

Vinegar: In the interest of keeping this a good clean match I disagree. Both men on their feet now and we're starting once more from equal ground.

Lieberjosch: Not quite. Somers is still feeling the effects of that spinebuster while Hastings is fresh as a daisy.

Vinegar: Hastings definitely knows he's in a fight. He's sweating and breathing heavy. Now challenging Somers to a test of strength.

Lieberjosch: Somers would be an idiot to try to match strength with Hastings so, obviously that's what he's just done.

Vinegar: Pride not letting Somers back down from the challenge but Hastings gets the better of it, driving Somers down to his knees. Kick to the gut from Hastings as he breaks his grip. Mongolian chop strikes down on each side of Jet's neck. Hastings runs to the ropes and comes back to hit a low level bulldog.

Lieberjosch: And the Hands of Fate! This time!

Vinegar: No, again Jet is able to get away. This time sliding away out of the ring and dropping to the outside.

Covert Jay: He's slippery as a lubed up snake ninja.

Lieberjosch: Please never use the term 'lubed up' in any context while sat at this table.

Vinegar: Hastings clearly frustrated and- oh god!

Covert Jay: Flying lord!

Vinegar: Donovan Hastings just launched himself through the ropes with a suicide dive and crushed Jet Somers against the crowd barrier. He never saw it coming!

Lieberjosch: That's the Lord of Pain adapting. That's not in his usual repertoire and it caught Somers entirely off guard.

Vinegar: Hastings a little slower to get up than usual. I don't think he enjoyed the experience too much.

Lieberjosch: Oh he enjoyed crushing Jet Somers plenty.

Vinegar: He grabs Jet by the hair though and pulls him up to his feet, rams him face first into the ring post. Jet bounces off and falls to the ground.

Lieberjosch: And running away again.

Vinegar: Somers trying to get a little separation but Hastings staying on him, pulls him up by his hair again and just shoves Somers back into the apron.

Lieberjosch: Working that hurt back.

Vinegar: But Somers hits the Final Wound. That pinpoint shot knocks Hastings down to one knee. Didn't scout that one did he Hans.

Lieberjosch: Cheap shots are hard to counter.

Vinegar: Nothing cheap about a clean body shot. Jet climbs up onto the apron. Hastings reaches up to grab his foot.

Lieberjosch: He's the terminator Nick. You can't keep him down.

Vinegar: Jet kicks him away though. Springboards from the middle rope and drops another elbow right to the top of Hastings head. The Lord of Pain looks out on his feet after that one.

Lieberjosch: We've seen Hastings endure worse. He came from a bad position to defeat Sloane Taylor.

Vinegar: No offence to Miss Taylor but I think Jet Somers hits a little harder.

Lieberjosch: Doubt it.

Vinegar: Regardless, Jet rolls Donovan into the ring and heads up the turnbuckle. Hastings tries to get up but just collapses. He's in a bad place right now. His positioning could not be better for his opponent.

Covert Jay: Flippidy knee driver coming up!

Vinegar: Somers turns his back, could be the Bla- No, a sudden burst and Hastings is up and hits the ropes, crotching Somers.

Lieberjosch: You didn't think the Immortal laid their by accident did you. Oh no, he just baited Somers perfectly.

Vinegar: Hastings now climbing the ropes. Could be looking for Inevitability. No Jet able to fight him off. Hastings runs back to the corner but Jet just back-flipped over him.

Covert Jay: That's number four on the ninja list of How To Escape From Corners.

Vinegar: Hastings turns running front kick that slams him back into the corner. Jet grabs his head. Chaos in Motion!

Lieberjosch: And again Donovan Hastings powers out and just throws Somers across the ring before impact.

Vinegar: Hastings climbing the ropes again. Somers gets up.

Covert Jay: Flying Lord 2!

Vinegar: Donovan Hastings again with uncharacteristic aerial offence, hits Somers with a flying cross body.

Lieberjosch: And uses his momentum to roll through and pull Somers up, right into Destiny's-

Vinegar: No! Somers escapes and floats over. Chok!

Lieberjosch: Hastings ducks without even seeing the punch coming!

Vinegar: Hastings spins behind Somers and pulls him into a school boy!


1!


Lieberjosch: Amazing manoeuvre!



2!



Vinegar: Hastings has a fistful of shorts!



3!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

'Invidia'

Lieberjosch: He did it!

Dennis: Here is your winner! Donovaaaaaan Haaaaaaaastiiiiiings!

Lieberjosch: The Lord of Pain keeps the PPV streak going with another great win. Just as I predicted.

Vinegar: And just as I predicted he went to the bag of cheap tricks to do it.

Lieberjosch: You can't possibly know that Nick, he was facing the wrong way for you to see the Lord's hands.

Vinegar: I've been doing this job long enough to know someone has a fistful of their opponents ring gear, even if I can't see it perfectly.

Lieberjosch: So you admit you didn't see it. I didn't see it. The referee didn't see it.

Vinegar: These fans saw it and they're letting Donovan Hastings know they don't approve.

Lieberjosch: So they're booing. That doesn't mean anything. That's why no-one listens to the peasantry.

Nasmith raises Hastings hand in the ring. Jet is stood again in the corner, staring daggers into Hastings back. As he lowers his hand Hastings turns and catches his eye. He smiles smugly and says something the microphones don't pick up, then calmly makes his exit.

Vinegar: Well, what's done is done. Donovan Hastings picks up another win.

Lieberjosch: Exactly why he should have been in the next match.

Vinegar: Well he isn't, Gabriel Baal is. That match coming next as he go into our main event where the Chimera will challenge Sarah Grey-Lacklan for the World Heavyweight title.



Donovan Hastings - 7.25

Jet Somers - 7.05

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: “After a night of spectacular action, it is now time for the Main Event of the night here in Miami!”

Covert Jay: “HUTTAH!”

Vinegar: “After witnessing Jet Somers and Donovan Hastings - quite possibly the two greatest entertainment professionals to ever wrestle under the UGWC banner – square off in a match against one another moments ago, we now know that it will be Gabriel Baal that will challenge for the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship against Sarah Grey-Lacklan.”

Lieberjosch: “I greatly look forward to these two facing each other here tonight. It should be a good one.”

Covert Jay: “I’m still not sure I like the rules of this event though, guys. Sar’s known for what, twenty minutes or so, tops, as to who she’d be facing? You guys don’t think that puts her at a slight disadvantage?”

Lieberjosch: “Possibly so, yes. Three things though, Jay…”

Vinegar: “Keep it civil, Hans.”

Lieberjosch: “Number one, the rules for the matches that fall under the fan vote for the In Your Hands event literally never change. Every single time that this event has aired, there have been entertainment professionals who have had to battle the adversity of having just found out who it is they are facing.”

Covert Jay: “Yeah, but-“

Lieberjosch: “Number two, Sarah Grey-Lacklan is ultimately going to go down as the single greatest entertainment professional of all time. She not only possesses the skills within the ring to withstand a ‘surprise’ opponent, if you can even consider Gabriel that at this point, but her mental acumen is second to none. And with all of the work that she does in studying everyone within this business, it wouldn’t have matter who she faced here this evening, because she was going to be more than ready regardless.”

Vinegar: “Very well put, Hans. Thank you for playing nice.”

Lieberjosch: “You’re welcome, Nicholas.”

Covert Jay: “Didn’t you say ‘three’ things, Doc?”

Lieberjosch: “So I did. My apologies, Jay. And number three, you’re an idiot.”

Vinegar: “Annnnnnddd there it is…”

Covert Jay: “You know I’m your favorite ninja, Doc. Stop frontin’.”

Lieberjosch: “I don’t know what you just said, but just stop.”

Vinegar: “Thankfully this back and forth between the two of you won’t be able to continue at this present time, because Mitchell Dennis has made his way into the ring for the introductions.”

Covert Jay: “Greatest ring announcer in UGWC history, guys!”

Lieberjosch: “Isn’t he the only… know what? Nevermind.”

Vinegar: “Take it away, Mitchell!”

Mitchell Dennis: “Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for our Main Event of the evening! This match is scheduled for one fall-“

Crowd: “ONE FALL!!!!!”

Lieberjosch: “It’s so stupid when they do that.”

Mitchell Dennis: “-and is for the UGWC World Heavyweight Championship!!!!! Introducing first, the challenger…”

Mitchell Dennis: “He stands six-feet three-inches tall and weighs in at two-hundred thirty-eight pounds… hailing from London, England, but currently residing in New York, New York… GABRIEL BAAL!!!!!”

The lights in the arena go out, as ‘Black Sky’ by WAR*HALL hits over the speakers. As the beat drops around twenty-five seconds in, a single spotlight drops on the ramp engulfing Gabriel Baal in light. His head is down, his fingers are pressed together. His ring attire is covered by a jacket, zipped up the front from the waist to the neck, but the jacket runs down to the ground at the back. He lifts his head as he begins to walk down the ramp. As he reaches the ring, he climbs the steps and waits. As the beat drops again, he extends his arms wide, and throws his head back, casting off his hood and bringing the arena into light.

He steps through the ropes and walks to the center of the ring, where the beat drops one last time, and once more he extends his hands out to the side.

Vinegar: “People were shocked when Gabriel Baal made himself known to be ‘The Chimera’, and some of those same people might be shocked to see that he has won the right to challenge for the UGWC World Title here tonight.”

Lieberjosch: “Anyone who has seen what Gabriel Baal can do in that ring knows that he deserves this opportunity. Anyone who states otherwise is just lying to themselves.”

Mitchell Dennis: “And his opponent…”

Mitchell Dennis: “Standing five-feet two-inches tall and weighing in at one-hundred forty-give pounds… she is the REIGNING AND DEFENDING UGWC WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… SARAH GREY-LACKLAN!!!!!

The lights go out in the arena.

"EYES ON ME!"

A red spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp as a metal version of the Moonlight Sonata plays. Sarah calmly walks out onto the ramp and stops, taking the time to look at the crowd. As the guitars play, she slowly walks down the ramp, careful to avoid the touch of any fans, with an arrogant sneer on her face. As she approaches the ring steps, she carefully climbs them before entering the ring.

Vinegar: “The champion exuding nothing but confidence as she walks to the center of the ring.”

Lieberjosch: “As she should. She has been an exemplary champion since defeating Roxy Cotton at Outlast back in December, and very well might possibly hold that title for the rest of the year. She’s that good, Nicholas.”

Vinegar: “You get no argument from me on that, Hans. However, she is going to need to be at her best here tonight, else Gabriel Baal would love nothing more than to ruin the chances of Sarah facing her half-sister at Coalescence.”

Covert Jay: “Sister action… you have to pay for that sort of thing on most sites.”

Lieberjosch: “Can production cut his mic, please?”

Vinegar: “We can’t very well cut his headset off every nice he irritates you, Hans.”

Lieberjosch: “I never signed off on that rule.”

Covert Jay: “Sucker!”

Vinegar: “Glenn Burke has finished going over the pre-match particulars with both combatants, and he’s signaling to Claude de Rhombus to start this match.”

Covert Jay: “Greatest bell man in history!”

Lieberjosch: “The UGWC World Heavyweight Championship match is officially underway!"

Vinegar: “The two slowly begin circling each other, Sarah jawing at Gabriel asking him who he thinks he is, while he simply smiles at her.”

Lieberjosch: “There is something quite unsettling when you witness Gabriel Baal smile.”

Covert Jay: “Now you know how all of the women in his life feel, Doc.”

Vinegar: “The two eventually lock up, with Gabriel taking control of Sarah’s arm, and wrenching it with an arm ringer.”

Lieberjosch: “Sarah counters with a reversal, now applying an arm wringer of her own, but Gabriel suddenly shifts his weight and sends her to the mat with a quick arm drag.”

Covert Jay: “Sarah pops quickly off the mat and going right back at the good doctor.”

Vinegar: “Another lock up, and Baal sends Sarah back to the mat with another arm drag. Sarah quickly to her feet but is sent back to the mat with a hip toss.”

Lieberjosch: “Sarah with a look of agitation on her face as she makes her way back to her feet, obviously not having taken kindly to Baal attempting to show her up.”

Covert Jay: “Show her up? Calm down, Doc. He’s just wrestling.”

Lieberjosch: “Another lock up, and Baal again sends her to the mat with an arm drag, maintaining control of her arm this time as he applies an arm bar.”

Vinegar: “Sarah working her way back to her feet though, not allowing Gabriel to use any leverage and apply more pressure.”

Covert Jay: “The World’s Champ connects with a forearm shot to the jaw of Baal, stunning the world-renowned gynecologist-“

Lieberjosch: “He’s not a gyn-“

Covert Jay: “Another forearm shot, and Gabe is knocked back a step, losing grip on the arm bar. Sar grabbing ahold of the hand of Gabriel.”

Vinegar: “Finger breakers! And Baal looks to be in pain as he shakes out his hand.”

Covert Jay: “She might have ripped one of them off, guys. If so, I wonder if it’ll be on eBay by the end of the night?”

Lieberjosch: “Imbecile.”

Vinegar: “Sarah snaps off multiple kicks to the side of Baal’s knee, almost buckling it and sending him to the mat after the fifth one.”

Lieberjosch: “Gabriel reaching out and shoves Grey-Lacklan away, trying to create some distance, but Sarah continues towards the far ropes.”

Covert Jay: “The Champ makes her return and sends Gabriel down to the mat with a dropkick to the front of his knee.”

Vinegar: “Sarah Grey-Lacklan is all over Gabriel now, repeatedly stomping that knee, as Baal tries in vain to avoid the onslaught.”

Covert Jay: “Sar backpedaling now, as Gabriel uses the ropes to pull himself up to his knees.”

Lieberjosch: “Mark of Cain from The World’s Champion! And she connected flush!”

Vinegar: “The eyes of Gabriel Baal look mighty glassy right now, that’s for certain. He’s half-laying under the ropes though, and Sarah has grabbed his left and pulled him back towards the center of the ring.”

Covert Jay: “She makes the cover!”




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: “The World Champion with a near fall there over Gabriel Baal. She looked to end this thing early.”

Lieberjosch: “And why not? You said yourself that the eyes of Gabriel Baal were glassed over after that move. It was worth a shot.”

Vinegar: “Sarah glaring at Burke as she gets to her feet, and I believe she is telling him that he needs to do a better job of counting.”

Covert Jay: “Seems like she colored it up a tad, Nick.”

Vinegar: “Focusing back on Baal now, Sarah leans down and grabs Baal by the head. She’s beginning to pull him to his feet now…”

Covert Jay: “And he just grabbed the waistband of Sar and jerked backwards, sending her through the ropes, and she lands hard on the floor.”

Lieberjosch: “Not a smart move by Baal there. He has to either pin or submit the champion. He needs to get her back in the ring.”

Covert Jay: “Yeah, but think of all the bad things he could get his hands on out on that floor, Doc. Chairs… tables… the ring bell-“

Lieberjosch: “Claude will not stand for that!”

Covert Jay: “-ladders… cheap draft beer… a frozen mackerel-“

Vinegar: “This isn’t a ‘No Disqualification’ match, Jay.”

Covert Jay: “Like we ever see someone disqualified for doing illegal shit, Nick. Listen to yourself.”

Vinegar: “Point taken.”

Lieberjosch: “Gabriel Baal has stepped through the ropes and is standing on the apron, as Sarah Grey-Lacklan makes her way back to a vertical base.”

Vinegar: “Baal takes off down the apron and jumps and sends Sarah to the floor with a flying clothesline.”

Covert Jay: “Baal back to his feet and is now pulling Sar to hers, and he sends her into the guardrail with an Irish whip.”




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




Lieberjosch: “I’m still shocked that you’ve never asked why it’s an Irish whip, and not a Scottish or Wales whip.”

Covert Jay: “Now that you mention it…”

Vinegar: “Come on, Hans… you’re smarter than that.”

Lieberjosch: ‘I know. I don’t know what I was thinking. Apparently, I wasn’t.”

Vinegar: “That’s typically Jay’s job.”

Covert Jay: “Right. Hey!”




THREE!!!!!




FOUR!!!!!




Vinegar: “Baal pulling Sarah off the guardrail now and connects with a knee lift that doubles her over. And now he is driving his elbow into the base of her neck.”

Lieberjosch: “Better than a needle.”

Covert Jay: “Preach!”




FIVE!!!!!




Vinegar: “Baal now lifts Sarah up, and he just rammed the small of her back into the steel ring post.”

Covert Jay: “And then tossed her backwards with a fallaway slam.”




SIX!!!!!




Lieberjosch: “Burke’s count is up to six now, as Baal grabs Sarah by the hair and pulls her to her feet.”




SEVEN!!!!!




Vinegar: “Baal rolls Sarah back into the ring and quickly follows suit, breaking Glenn’s count at seven.”

Covert Jay: “Baal makes the cover, hooking the leg.”




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: “Sarah with the shoulder up at two, and this match continues.”

Lieberjosch: “Gabriel stomps the midsection of Sarah Grey-Lacklan, forcing her to curl up on her side. Another stomp, and now Gabriel has applied a full nelson camel clutch in the center of the ring.”

Vinegar: “Glenn Burke in position now, checking to see if Sarah submits-“

Lieberjosch: “No way she would allow that to happen.”

Covert Jay: “Not sure it’s totally up to her, Doc.”

Vinegar: “Baal is leaning back as far as he can, and Sarah is in excruciating pain. A person’s body is not meant to bend that way.”

Covert Jay: “All I know is, if she’s that bendy, it’s no wonder Kenzi put a ring on that.”

Lieberjosch: “Jay!”

Covert Jay: “I’m not saying, I’m just saying.”

Vinegar: “Baal finally releases the full nelson, and then slams the face of Sarah into the mat. He’s now positioning his feet onto the back of the knees of Sarah and is reaching down for her arms.”

Lieberjosch: “Arms in hand now, Gabriel begins the processing of rocking back and forth, and he’s finally on the mat now, punishing Sarah Grey-Lacklan with a surfboard.”

Covert Jay: “Sar’s in trouble.”

Vinegar: “Sarah has nowhere to go, but Gabriel needs to watch out. His shoulders are down on the mat.”

Lieberjosch: “And Burke is in position.”




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




Vinegar: “Gabriel with no choice but to release the submission hold, as he was on the verge of almost being pinned in this match.”

Covert Jay: “Woulda been a helluva thing to lose like that.”

Lieberjosch: “I hate to agree with you, but you’re right, Jay.”

Covert Jay: “Word.”

Vinegar: “Baal with a few choice words for Burke, as he walks over and grabs Sarah Grey-Lacklan by the hair and slowly pulls her to her feet.”

Lieberjosch: “Baal is smiling down at Sarah now, as he begins saying something to her that we can’t quite hear.”

The arena is suddenly pitched into darkness, an audible, collective gasp heard from the fans along with the announce team.

Vinegar: “What in the world!”

A flash on the GlobalTron draws everyone’s attention, including that of Gabriel Baal, who releases his grasp on Sarah’s hair. The brightness begins to fade until sparks strike across the darkness of the screen, the faint light they give off revealing a blade being sharpened, a grating sound accompanying the visual.

Covert Jay: “Well that’s chilling.”

The screen goes dark once more with the visual repeating, this time a little more clearly to reveal a wicked ax. Another strike of the stone against the blade, and another, along with the echoing sound of footsteps approaching before all returns to normal as though nothing had happened.

Lieberjosch: “I… I have no idea what is going on right now.”

Vinegar: “Frankly, neither do Baal or Grey-Lacklan. The look on Gabriel’s face is one of incredulousness.”

Covert Jay: “Yeah, and the look on the face of The World’s Champion is one of determination!”

Vinegar: “Baal finally turns back towards Sarah, but she has already made her way back to her feet…”

Lieberjosch: “Supergirl Punch!”

Covert Jay: “And she caught ALL of that one!”

Vinegar: “Baal crashes to the mat in a heap, and Sarah makes the cover!”




ONE!!!!!




TWO!!!!!




THR-KICK OUT!!!!!




Vinegar: “No! Gabriel Baal kicks out at two-and-a-half!”

Lieberjosch: “Sarah Grey-Lacklan is definitely favoring her back after the punishment that has been inflicted by Gabriel Baal, and not hooking the leg cost her there.”

Vinegar: “Sarah trying to get a second wind now, and she has mounted Gabriel Baal.”

Covert Jay: “If Kenzi gets jealous, think she’ll give me a call?”

Lieberjosch: “Hardly.”

Vinegar: “Grey-Lacklan is hammering Gabriel with vicious elbows from that mount position, even though Baal is doing his best to cover up.”

Lieberjosch: “Sarah back to her feet, and she’s pulling Gabriel to his, but he explodes upwards with his head and catches her on the jaw, staggering her badly.”

Covert Jay: “Baal with a kick to the midsection that doubles her over, and then he absolutely planted her with a jumping DDT!”

Vinegar: “Baal with the cover!”




ONE!!!!!







TWO!!!!!









THRE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




Vinegar: “Sarah somehow manages to kick out just before Glenn Burke’s hand hit the mat for the third time, and this match continues!”

Lieberjosch: “I thought the match was over right there, Nicholas.”

Covert Jay: “So did everyone here in Miami, Doc.”

Vinegar: “Baal back to his feet now, and he has backed across the ring. His hand on the top rope now, he’s waiting for Sarah to get to her feet.”

Lieberjosch: “Grey-Lacklan might now know where she is.”

Covert Jay: “Definitely doesn’t know where Baal is.”

Vinegar: “Sarah finally gets to her feet, stumbling a bit as she turns…”

Covert Jay: “Baal comes streaking across the ring and connects with The Roar!”

Vinegar: “And he’s making the cover again!”




ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!














THREE-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




Covert Jay: “Holy shit, how did she do that?!”

Vinegar: “Somehow, Sarah Grey-Lacklan managed to drape her foot across the bottom rope at the very last second. And Glenn Burke was right on top of things to see it.”

Lieberjosch: “I am utterly amazed at how special this woman truly is, each and every time she steps into the ring. Even after all the punishment she has taken in this match – and even when I myself thought that she had been knocked loopy – she still had the wherewithal to know where she was when she needed to most.”

Covert Jay: “Careful, Doc. Say too many things like that and we might begin thinking that you actually like people.”

Lieberjosch: “I like people fine. I just don’t like you.”

Vinegar: “Baal can’t believe it. He thought he had just captured the World Title again.”

Covert Jay: “Yeah, and ‘Think’ thought he farted, but he sh-“

Vinegar: “Stop it, Jay!”

Lieberjosch: “Thank you, Nicholas. See Jay, it’s that sort of thing right there. That is why I don’t like you. Well, one of the reasons anyway.”

Covert Jay: “Let loose a little, Doc. You’ll live longer.”

Vinegar: “Baal propping Sarah up into a seated position now, and he has applied a dragon sleeper.”

Lieberjosch: “He’s cinching it in deep now, and Sarah is frantically looking for a way out.”

Covert Jay: “She found one.”

Vinegar: “Sarah threw her entire body back and nailed Gabriel Baal in the nose with a knee strike, forcing him to release the hold.”

Covert Jay: “And it looks like she shattered his nose on impact. There’s blood everywhere.”

Vinegar: “Sarah still favoring her back as she gets to her feet, as Gabriel is attempting to wipe the blood away from his face.”

Covert Jay: “Good luck, Gabe. You’re bleeding like a stuck pig.”

Lieberjosch: “Between the blood and his eyes watering, Gabriel Baal hasn’t seen that Sarah Grey-Lacklan has made her way back to her feet.”

Vinegar: “Baal lumbering forward now, and Sarah sends him face-first into the mat with a drop toe hold.”

Lieberjosch: “Baal pushing himself up to his knees now, still holding his face…”

Vinegar: “Hip attack from Sarah Grey-Lacklan!”

Covert Jay: “And her hips don’t lie, Nick!”

Lieberjosch: “Isn’t that Shakira?”

Covert Jay: “No. That’s the World’s Champion, Doc. You should pay more attention.”

Lieberjosch: “I really despise you, Jay.”

Vinegar: “Sarah quickly drops to make the cover, hooking the inner leg.”




ONE!!!!!









TWO!!!!!














THR-KICK OUT!!!!!




Covert Jay: “And Gabe kicks out!”

Vinegar: “Back and forth affair here tonight in this World Heavyweight Championship Main Event, and at this point, it’s anyone’s guess as to how this thing will end.”

Lieberjosch: “My money is still on Sarah Grey-Lacklan, Nicholas.”

Covert Jay: “Does your sponsor know you’re gambling again, Doc?”

Lieberjosch: “I was speaking figuratively, Jay. Don’t be an idiot.”

Covert Jay: “Ok, then figuratively speaking, does your sponsor know that you’re gambling again?”

Lieberjosch: “I give up.”

Vinegar: “Sarah struggling to pull Baal to his feet now, but with a surge of energy, he lifts her up and rams her into the nearest corner.”

Covert Jay: “Glenn Burke was in the wrong place at the wrong time, Nick. He just got smashed into the corner between it and all of both Sarah and Gabriel’s weight. Ouch Town, population you, bro!”

Lieberjosch: “Glenn Burke has rolled out of the ring and is on the floor, as Gabriel Baal is still wiping blood from his face as he stumbles over towards the center of the ring.”

Vinegar: “He’s noticed now that Burke is out of it, and he’s grinning from ear to ear.”

Covert Jay: “That sight is creepy as fuck, guys.”

Lieberjosch: “You can say that again.”

Vinegar: “Baal waits for Sarah to get to her feet, and she finally does…”

Covert Jay: “Freudian Slip from Gabriel Baal!”

Vinegar: “Glancing blow from Baal with that Freudian Slip, and Sarah is back to her feet-“

Lieberjosch: “Catatonia two-point-zero from Baal, and the force of the move sends Sarah through the ropes and out to the floor!”

Covert Jay: “I’d say it’s a tough call for Baal, but Burke is still in La-La Land anyway.”

Lieberjosch: “I don’t think he cares, Jay.”

Vinegar: “Baal has reached into his tights and has pulled out a small container, and he’s opening it up.”

Covert Jay: “And it’s a syringe.”

Lieberjosch: “Knowing Gabriel Baal’s past propensity for using paralytics, the end of this night might just be a foregone conclusion. And I hate saying that.”

Vinegar: “He gently places the syringe down on the mat in the corner, and now he has slid out of the ring. Grabbing Sarah by the hair he pulls her to her feet and shoves her back into the ring.”

Lieberjosch: “Baal slides back in and walks back over to the corner and retrieves the syringe. He slowly walks back over to the downed World Champion and pulls her to her feet.”

Covert Jay: “He’s sneering down at Sar now, jaw-jacking her as he holds the syringe in his right hand.”

Vinegar: “Glenn Burke is beginning to stir on the outside now.”

Lieberjosch: “Get up, Glenn! Get up now!”

Covert Jay: “Is that what you tell Lil’ Hans when you’ve paid for the hour and you only have five minutes left?”

Lieberjosch: “Douche.”

Vinegar: “Gabriel seems content to wait until Sarah is fully aware of what is going on.”

Lieberjosch: “He wants her to know what he’s about to do, Nicholas. The bastard!”

Vinegar: “Sarah now looking up at Gabriel, and she just smiled a toothless grin.”

Covert Jay: “Baal seems slightly taken aback by that, Nick.”

Vinegar: “Poison Mist! Sarah just blinded Gabriel with that red mist!”

Lieberjosch: “Take your time, Glenn. Everything is fine.”

Vinegar: “Gabriel drops the syringe as he frantically tries to wipe that mist out of his eyes, and Sarah just walked over and stomped on it.”

Covert Jay: “Sar across the ring and bounces off the ropes and sends Baal to his knees with a dropkick.”

Lieberjosch: “She’s quickly back to her feet, as Burke finally gets to his feet on the outside. She walks in behind of Baal and grabs him by the head…”

Vinegar: “The Abyss!”

Covert Jay: “And she makes the cover, this time hooking both legs!”

Lieberjosch: “And Glenn has slowly slid back into the ring and is beginning his count!









ONE!!!!!


















TWO!!!!!
























THREE!!!!!




Vinegar: “It’s over! Sarah Grey-Lacklan has retained!”

Mitchell Dennis: “Ladies and gentlemen… the winner of this match, and STILL UGWC World Heavyweight Champion… SAAAAAARAAAHHHHH GREEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY-LAAAAAAAAAACKLAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!”

Covert Jay: “What a night!”

Vinegar: “Gabriel Baal put forth one hell of an effort, but in the end, he was out-witted by our World Champion.”

Covert Jay: “And more importantly than that… the two sisters are still on a collision course for Coalescence!”

Lieberjosch: “That’s all the time that we have here in Miami! We will see you soon!”

Covert Jay: "Don't forget to Chill!"



Sarah Lacklan - 7.24

Gabriel Baal - 7.22

[Lord Hastings]

Credits

GFX
Mike

Cross-Hemisphere Title
Dave

Rydell vs Thunder
Rob

Chaos Title
Ad

Battle Royal
Steve

Ladder Match
Brandon

Runner-Up Match
Matt

World Title
Chad

[cooltubesource]

Just a quick note to say congrats to the winners! I'm in the middle of a deep dive and will leave an unnecessarily long thread of show and promo feeds either tonight or tomorrow!

[cooltubesource]

Disclaimer: Please bear in mind that these feeds come from some self-righteous loudmouth whose opinion is not only overrated, but has literally led to a correct prediction percentage of 50%

No really: Ken making our wrestlers in WWE '19 and putting them on auto has literally the same correct percentage as my scores

So...yeah...don't take this too much to heart in any capacity!!

First of all: Lets give a hand to the graphics team! Which literally must means Britt conning Mike into doing them when she gets lazy and/or sick. GooooOOOOOO TEAM!


Cross-Hemisphere Championship
Phrixus Deimos
vs
Duncan Ryder

Phrixy - Great job with the analysis, as always. Also as always, I wish I had development in there, but I also understand that was SO a decade ago! Much like how Bordy endeavoring for the Chaos title to be the most important in the company paid creative dividends for me, Deimos' focus on being the CH title incarnate is giving you focus I rarely see for this character. Really enjoying it!

D-Ry - I *loved* that promo. In 2k, I know WHY Duncan was here (adding to his feeling of being snubbed by the Consortium), the background on Deimos made me care infinitely more for Duncan than I did before, and the fun way of breaking down the match with the random fan was great. I especially dug how Duncan's life falling apart because of his in-ring douchebaggery came to light: Some of us do TERRIBLE AWFUL THINGS in this business, and if this were a shoot, they would have things happen to them like the love of their life bailing on them. Really enjoyable read and I hope you keep this up!

Dave: Good match, man! I enjoyed seeing the ring styles on display, there was psychology, and the finish made sense. And this may seem like an odd thing, but I really liked when the pin attempt after the vertical suplex had a kickout at one. In WWE, that would have been a two-count, which is bullshit, so I was glad to see that happen!

Singles Match
Dave Rydell
vs
Redd Thunder


Dave - Damn shame this angle fell on its face the way it did. That being said, you've done some great character work during the cycle which has allowed Dave to be set apart a bit and give him some direction. Keep it up! I'm looking forward to whatever match you end up in at Coalescence, since yours is a name just about synonymous with the fed!

Rob - You had to make chicken salad from chicken shit because of Thunder, so you did the best you could!


Chaos Championship
RP Stip: Roleplay must include - a Big Ass Frozen Mackerel, a Half-Eaten Burrito, Owen Peterson, a Shock Collar, and Tickle-Me Elmo
Kenzi Grey
vs
Tempest

Tempest - Reversing the order here because my comments for Ken might be embarrassingly long. You had a great promo and I, from Day One, have been saying that people need to watch out for you once you got settled and got into a flow over exactly what Tempest and his buddies actually were. Looking forward to more!

Ken - You know that I laughed my ass off the entire time you conceived and worked on your promo (a guilty pleasure of mine is witnessing the six different versions of your promos on the CTN Admin boards!), and loved every word of it. Like Seb, my favorite line was the "I'm not a lesbian!" line with the shared look over her shoulder. Brilliant! Now, this is likely the "I'm done, bitches!" point you've been waiting for, and you know my thoughts on the matter (I have ALL the thoughts!), and am excited to work on your more "fun" projects as we go along. I said recently that Ang is my favorite person to work against, but you are, without doubt, my favorite person to work with. As much as i will enjoy the promotional and creative projects, I am going to miss my true cooperative writing partner like you will NOT believe. But! Time to bust out that magazine!

Ad: I am very conflicted on this match. There were parts that I liked (fish puns...and that finish was MONEY), and other parts I did not (most of the banter), but I suppose that is what makes a Chaos match what it is! Technical point that is nagging me, though: I had assumed that the only weapons allowed in the match were the ones voted on, but this included various other instruments. As such, I was disappointed in that, since I was looking forward to seeing what creativity you would muster with such an weird limitation. But! If I'm wrong and the match is simply intended on INCLUDING those five items WITH an assortment of regular Chaos goodies, then that's my bad and you can ignore this particular criticism!



Battle Royale


Bolt - Dude! Great intro. As was mentioned by at least one other person, you getting sick was bad timing, because much of that could have been included the week before and given you a chance to focus more. But! Great start and I hope you stick around.

Hide - Great work, Helder! Everyone clearly enjoys both Hide and Johnny, and you've been able to develop your bit to include some of our best writers, so there is nothing but good ahead. Now please go kick Danny in the butt so that he doesn't turn into Thunder!

Raab - This format was tough for you and it showed. But keep going! Keep taking these feeds and your work WILL tighten up. That being said, this makes at least 3 promos where the ideas were literally Helder's. Taking inspiration from one another is important (my time travel promo is 100% Sloane's fault, for instance), but its also important to take those ideas and spin them into your own world, if that makes sense.

Seb - I enjoyed this! This format is NOT your strong suit (you are very much a member of the #WordyBitchSquad), but I counter that by saying good! Write MORE in this range! It only makes your other work better!

Maria - This was a step backwards, mang. Like others, I think that the chaos stip screwed you up, since you're not accustomed to doing stuff like that. But! Keep at it, hit people up for advice on how to write with stips, and you'll get better at them. Perhaps get in the DMs of a certain Le Champion du Chaos 

T-Pie - This was good! Fun quips and quibbles and the Kenzi stuff was great. You earned the battle royale win and I look forward to the match against Deimos!

GH - Jesus Horatio Christ, what a waste of time

Bossman - Perfectly paced for the slot it was in. Quick and fun. And GH has TWO victories to crow about when next we see him


Ladder Match for the Cooperative Championship
RP Stip: Each team posts a single roleplay. Interaction between the teammates can only be in written form.
Alan Wallace and Travis Roberts
vs
Angelica Vaughn and Sloane Taylor

Walberts - This was tight! And what i mean by THAT is that the last time I gave you feeds, it was to complain about pacing. In THAT promo, I felt that it took forEVER to get to the point, and this one did NOT, and that made the whole thing more enjoyable. Great job! That being said, I ALSO didn't expect you guys to win this match 

Sloavaughn: This was my favorite non-spouse promo of the show. I legit thought what you guys did was brilliant (............outside of f'ing up the coding on Sar's letter, anyway................) and am very much looking forward to more interactions between you two in the future. Sloane is at a big crossroads, and as long as Angie does the freakin' job to me at the PPV (YOU CAN LOSE TO ME FOR ONCE, ANG), I would love to see you two take another shot at the champs.

B - Good match, dude! The different ladders was super witty and fun, and I could feel Angie's unease in the match in comparison to the far more tenured Walberts. I enjoyed this!

Runner-Up Match
Hastings
vs
Somers

Bossman - Really fun promo. I have thought to myself that, had I incorporated the vote for me format, it either would have been super silly or super serious, and you were able to create a far more effective balance than I would have. As a character, Donovan has a LOT more importance to me as a wrestler this year than the two previous i have been here, as he now has three PPV singles wins in a row. And, yes, I am well aware how the outcome of literally everything would have been different had you won the fan vote.

Jet - I enjoyed this for what it was. This was a reintroduction/set-up piece to this final cycle for you, so it was less than competitive, but I really enjoyed what was there. Much like with what I said about Duncan, having Sherry there to add real-life context to our work-related decisions was a highlight. 

Matt - This was my favorite match. By far. This was a real fight, a real struggle, and reminded me a lot of some of the better things I saw in a competitive match-writing fed I was in for a cup of coffee in 2018. And as a bonus: I'm listening to this in my car, right? On my way home, giving it a deep dive after skimming last night, and I get to Donovan doing the dive to the outside. I say out-loud, "The fuck are you doing, old man?!" And then the commentary backed up my outburst of incredulity. Well done.

World Heavyweight Championship
Sarah Lacklan
vs
Gabriel Baal

Baal - I need to peel back the curtain a bit here: I was not happy when you were announced as a participant. Not you the handler, mind you, (Seb would have been a great choice!) but the character. After the IYH premise was announced during Infinity, I told Steve that I wouldn't be happy if I saw ANY Global Challenge competitors in the match, because that, in my opinion, invalidated MUCH of the stakes of the tournament. I said as much in my promo, I noticed a few references to the point in others, and Chad included it in the commentary, too. I was very GRRRRR about it, to be honest.

"BUT SARAH"

Yes yes, it has happened in the WWE. The Royal Rumble winner lost their title opportunity on the B Show before Wrestlemania. But it sucked then, too!

That being said:

KILLER promo, dude. I have gotten on you about length before, but people often either do not understand or choose to ignore the context of my criticism: Pacing. A poorly paced promo never seems to end. But this? Wonderfully paced. 9500 went by like it was 5k. The adventure was a lot of fun, the content of the letters was great, fantastic use of our relatively rare IC interactions, and super duper props to making the match and promo MEAN something by delving into the Lacklan letters-by-way-of-pigeons process. Seriously: Can't stress enough how good this was and how I not only would have been fine with dropping the title, but fully expected it!

Also, final note - Perceptive Mike is Perceptive: Sarah did NOT have a lot of fire during the sermon, certainly when compared to all of the character in her letter to Eden. By design, my friend, and you absolutely noticed it!

Chad - GREAT match, dude. Loved the focus on how there could be a DQ (what's the point of a Chaos match if other matches forget the rules, right?), there was good psychology on both sides, I popped for the surfboard (surfboard and romero specials are favorites of mine!), the false finishes were well-timed, the counter knee busting open Baal's nose is a great visual, and the finish was killer. Great job, man!


Onward to Coalescence! 

[Zane]

Technical point that is nagging me, though: I had assumed that the only weapons allowed in the match were the ones voted on, but this included various other instruments.

I think you're right. I was having such a bad case of writers block this week that once I got going, I just kept going for fear that imposing that limitation would strangle what little creativity I'd rediscovered.

and other parts I did not (most of the banter)

Totally fair. Is it obvious how much I dislike writing banter between the commentators? Lol.

There were parts that I liked (fish puns...and that finish was MONEY)

Thank you. I loves me a good pun and I'm happy that they added to the match.

I wanted Kenzi to look strong in defeat. I'm happy that the ending worked.

[Dave Rydell]

Mar 11, 2020 0:33:42 GMT -5 cooltubesource said:

Dave: Good match, man! I enjoyed seeing the ring styles on display, there was psychology, and the finish made sense. And this may seem like an odd thing, but I really liked when the pin attempt after the vertical suplex had a kickout at one. In WWE, that would have been a two-count, which is bullshit, so I was glad to see that happen!



Dave - Damn shame this angle fell on its face the way it did. That being said, you've done some great character work during the cycle which has allowed Dave to be set apart a bit and give him some direction. Keep it up! I'm looking forward to whatever match you end up in at Coalescence, since yours is a name just about synonymous with the fed!

1- I had an absolute blast writing this match, and it's probably my favorite match I've written since joining this fed. I actually had a ton more time to actually put a ton of thought and sit down and go do some YouTube digging for ideas that matched their styles. And once I got some spots figured out it was super easy to tie them together. I also agree, I fucking hate the long 2 after a quick suplex. It's ridiculous.

2- It's been a good situation Rydell has been in but I was a bit disappointed he no showed. I mean, yay for a win but I was looking forward to actually having a match go down. It is what it is but hopefully we can meet again for some fair competition.

[Alex Kiseragi]

So as usual I think everyone did a great job and put a solid show together.

Opener - Honestly, I was stunned that you guys voted Ryder in. It makes me feel like some part of his story is resonating with people which is a great compliment so that you. Dave, the match really had me on edge and the ending, you had me thinking Duncan was going to hit a top rope dashing driver and that would have to be it. What actually happened was even more bonkers. Congratulations to Deimos for retaining but don't think Ryder is finished with you.

Rydell vs. Thunder - I get wanting to have more of a match to read for your character but I'd never argue with getting to look like an absolute beast like Rydell does now.

Chaos title - I often struggle with hardcore matches but this one was much more than just a hit b with object c. Sure it had that but it also had super creepy Tempest and Kenzi battling to overcome. I like Tempest as our new Chaos Champion too.

Battle Royale - I don't envy having to write an eight person free-for-all. I think Steve did a good job of making sure everyone got a moment. Pierce picking up the win surprised me a little but I'm glad. Chap's been having a rough time lately.

Ladder Match - This was my favourite of the night. For a start the fact that it used lots of different kinds of ladders was a lot of fun. The moment when Travis pushed the warehouse ladder full pelt down the ramp with Alan riding on top was peak UGWC and peak Blessed Vanity and my highlight of the whole show.

Hastings vs Somers - I hope people liked it. I've now written Hastings last three PPV matches, all of which were singles grudge matches. I really felt at risk that they would all end up being too similar so I had to get a bit creative. I'd like to think it worked.

World Title - And a final solid contest to round out the night. It's easy to pick out spots in things like the Chaos title and Ladder match that stick in your mind that you don't get with a singles match. This though had plenty of back and forth and really felt like a high class competitive battle. I'm interested to find out who/what the video interruption is heralding too.