Sentinel 8/11/08 RESULTS

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: Ladies and gentlemen we are just weeks away from Horizons, and the whole company is in upheaval, the lines of command have been torn down, a new general will command the troops, and it all starts tonight, ONLY on Sentinel...

Hanson: Boss Penguin is going to be the end of this company, look at the card tonight, he’s forcing the Owner of this company into a match with two females, and has stacked the odd’s against ‘The Blessed One’ in the main event...but mark my words, ‘The Revolution’ will overcome the tyranny of that oversized duck.

Vinegar: Either way I’m sure that struggle is going to be very entertaining. But let us not forget we also have The Global Heavyweight Champion teaming with the still undefeated Hardcore Champion in a triple threat tag team match.

Hanson: As well has War and Peace squaring off against American Muscle in a sneak preview of the GIW Tag team Championship final match at Horizons.

Vinegar: And don’t forget, the winners of tonight’s match get to choose the stipulation for that all important match, so really it’s a must win match for both sides.

Hanson: Unfortunately before that we have a Sean Jensen match.

Vinegar: Cyanide.

Hanson: Yes please, didn’t know you carried that to ringside, but I’m willing to partake in that to avoid the tedium’s of another Jensen match.

Vinegar: I wasn’t offering you a way out of life, his names Cyanide now, and has been for weeks.

Hanson: Can’t say I’ve been paying too much attention...

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen tonight’s first match is scheduled for one fall and is a triple threat match...

“Diamond In the Rough Hits”

Dennis: Introducing first, from Christchurch, New Zealand, ‘Diamond’ JAAAAAAACK SEEEEVERIIIIINOOOOO!!!!

The arena lights dim to darkness before a few solitary gold spotlights flick on shining upon the entranceway where Jack Severino stands his back to us arms out either side of himself ala Chris Jericho before he spins around into a Randy Orton esque "Legend Killer" pose, before dropping his arms to either side of himself smirking out at the fans before strutting down to the ring, flexing his physique posing and trash talking as he does so, climbing the ring steps he walks the full length of one side of the ring apron before staring out at the audience then entering the ring through the middle and top ring ropes where he raises his hands out either side of himself approaching the turnbuckle which he climbs up and proclaims that he’s the absolute best before climbing back down and taking the middle of the ring.

Vinegar: here’s a man, still fighting to get out from under the shadow of his partner, Gabrielle...

Hanson: Who the hell would wanna get out from under Gabby?

“Castlevania: Symphony of the Night” starts to fill the arena.

Dennis: Introducing his first opponent, from Rome, Italy....SOOOOOOLOOOOOOMOOOOON!

The crowd turn their attention to the stage, and the lone spotlight focused on the curtains, but there is no movement, or sign of Solomon. After a few moments the crowd begin to grow impatient and start hurling abuse towards to Globatron. Dennis holds his earpiece tight to his ear, and returns to the microphone having received some instructions.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are currently having trouble locating Solomon, he had apparently arrived at the arena, but is nowhere to be found.

Vinegar: Strange.

Hanson: Strange? Is there anything normal about Solomon?

“Vengeance Is Mine” hits to PA, but once again there is no sign of the competitor...

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m not quite sure what to say, apparently we cannot locate Sean Cyanide either...I really hope Boss Penguin knows I’m not the one responsible for getting them to the ring...

Hanson: No Jensen?

Vinegar: No Cyanide.

Hanson: YEEE-EEE-EESSSSS!

Dennis: Under the rule’s of GIW, if neither opponent appears within the next 10 seconds, ‘Diamond’ Jack Severino will win this match via forfeit...

Crowd: 10...9...8...

Vinegar: Jack doesn’t seem happy about this, he’s ready to wrestle, I expect after the loss of his home he wants some kind of distraction.

Hanson: Hell, I’d be happy to have an extra ten minutes to bang the crap out of Gabrielle before her match...

Crowd: 7...6...5...4...3...2...

The opening of monkey sound of "Down with the sickness" from disturbed. The words, "I believe" from "How far we've come" by Matchbox 20. The words, "Your Beautiful" from the song "Your Beautiful" by James Blunt. Then the constant drone from Moonlight Sinatra by Mozart blare across the arena...

Dennis: Errrrm...

The crowd turns, and standing on the ramp, wrapped in a cape,a nd holding it’s cane, is none other than GIW’s only professional Super Villain, Marlo the Beautiful stands...and he has a microphone in hand...

Marlo: Of course! How could you ever have doubted it? Who other than Marlo the Beautiful would have the ability and power to confine two superstars of the calibre of Solomon and Sean Cyanide, and prevent them from appearing at this show. I can feel you all, cowering in front of Marlon the Beautiful...

Vinegar: Are you cowering Daniel?

Hanson: I sure am? But I’m just worried Marlo’s Ass might come over here and try and grape me...you know it has a mind of its own apparently.

Marlo: So once again, Marlo The Beautiful has been able to make a mockery of your ‘wrestling’ show, using only the power of the great Ionised Brain Stare, just imagine how much damage I could do if I unleashed my true potential upon you! I could destroy this company, tonight I have merely lowered its quality...

Hanson: OK, it’s official, this...thing....is delusional. No sane person would think removing Sean Cyanide from a show would lower its quality...

Vinegar: Crazy or not, Marlo is now walking towards the ring, and ‘Diamond’ Jack Severino who looks unamused by this interruption...

Marlo: But rather than leave you all without an opening match, I, Marlo The Beautiful, will defeat this overblown excuse for a man, in a singles match...as we all know Marlo the Beautiful does not DO multi man matches...

Vinegar: A smile spreads across Jacks face and he signals he is ok with this as Marlo and her Ass climb into the ring...

Hanson: that’;s not fair, she said it was a singles match, how come his ass his allowed to get involved as well?

Vinegar: The bell rings, and Marlo merely stands staring at ‘Diamond’ Jack, obviously attempting the Ionised Brain Stare...JESUS! I didn’t see that coming...

Hanson: Severino has just collapsed to the ground, he was initially clutching his head, then he started twitching, but it seems now, he is lifeless...shit, maybe we shouldn’t be taking the piss out of Marlo on live TV...

Vinegar: Maybe we’ve all underestimated her, and now Marlo stands over DJS, and he looks around at the crowd, who have been stunned into silence...

Hanson: MWUHAHAHA...Jack was just playing along, showing some damn fine acting skills there, and he has sprung to his feet, he man handles Marlo...DIAMOND EDGE!!!

Vinegar: That Straight Jacket Style Sit Down Razors edge sends Marlo crashing to the canvas, but the ‘Diamond in the Rough’ is not done yet...he grabs Marlo and puts him back on his feet, grabs his wrist...DIAMOND VALLEY DRIVER!!!

Hanson: Ha Ha! I’ve been waiting some time to see Marlo take this kinda punishment...

Vinegar: I wouldn’t be surprised if you could fine that kinda action online...Pro-Wrestling obviously isn’t Marlo’s primary wage earner...and now DJS picks Marlo up one last time, thrusts his hand around his throat...RISE OF BRUTALITY...AND THE COVER...1...2...3!!!

Dennis: Here is your winner, JAAAAAAACK SEEEEEVERIIIIINOOOOO...

“NIGGA HOLD DAT!”

The sound of gunfire flies through the air, and GIW’s first ever Enforcer stands on top of the stage...

Hanson: Is that an AK47?

Vinegar: I think so...

Hanson: Shit that Bird is nuts!

Boss Penguin: GOOD JOB NIGGA! THIS PENGUIN DON’T TAKE KINDLY TO PEOPLE TRYING TO FUCK WID HIS CARD, YA HEAR? PICK THAT NIGGA UP OFF THE FLOOR< AND MAKE SURE THE NIGGA CAN SEE ME...

Jack drags Marlo up from the Canvas and props his transvestite clad body against the ropes facing Boss Penguin. At the sight of Marlo, Boss Penguin drops the cigar from his beak...

Boss Penguin: MOTHAFUCKA WHATS UP WITH DAT SHIT?

Boss Penguin takes a few moments to compose himself, and then addresses Marlo.

Boss Penguin: YO NIGGA, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YO ARE, BUT THIS SHIT STOPS RIGHT NOW! DECLAN PRESCOTT MAY HAVE LET YOU RUN AROUND WITH THAT GINORMOUS ASS OF YOURS CAUSING ALL KINDS OF CRACKERHEADED SHIT, BUT BOSS PENGUIN IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT BREED, YA HEAR ME?

YO JUST AS LUCKY AS THE DUDES THAT CANCELLED THEIR MEETINGS ON SEPTEMBER 11TH, CAUSE IF THAT NIGGA WID DA HOT ASS HO, HAD NOT STEPPED UP AND BEAT YO ASS, I’D HAVE HAD TO COME DOWN THEIR WITH MA GOOD FRIEND...ANDREW KINKLEY 47...

Boss Penguin strokes the barrel of the AK-47...or Andrew as it appears to be named...

Boss Penguin: AND DON’T THINK I BE FOOLIN’ NIGGA! PEOPLE BETTER GET USED TO THE FACT YO JUST DON’T MESS WITH BOSS P’S PLANS...OR I WILL...FUCK...YO...UP!

OH, AND NIGGA JACK? GOOD WORK OUT THERE, YO CAUGHT THE EYE OF BOSS P MUTHAFUCKA!

With that Boss P fires another round into the GIW Arena ceiling and then makes his way back stage.

Vinegar: I ain’t ever crossing Boss P...

Hanson: I hear dat!

[Lord Hastings]

The eclectic mix of musics by now trademarked to War & Peace begins and the crowd starts to cheer as Marek bursts out of the ground. He looks around, seemingly worried by something but makes his way down to the ring.

Dennis: The following contest is scheduled for one fall where the winner will decide the stipulation for the first ever GIW Tag Team Title match! Introducing first, from Ishikawa Japan, weighing in at 159lbs. Marek Daisuuuuuke!

The music merges into Iron Man and another cheer goes up for Ezekiel Pax as he navigates the crowd and jumps the crowd barriers.

Dennis: And the tag team partner, from Los Angeles California, weighing in at 170lbs, Ezekiel Paaaaaaaaaaaax! War and Peeeeeeeace!!!

Vinegar: That’s our first team for this match, the young hopefuls looking for their first taste of gold here in GIW and you can’t count them out.

Hanson: Yeah you can and I’ll tell you why…

Divine by Korn starts to play and Dredd and Masters slowly walk out to the top of the ramp, closely followed by Chip’s entourage.

Hanson: That’s why.

The pair of them make their way down to the ring to a chorus of boos but stop as they reach the foot of the ramp.

Vinegar: Whoa, War and Peace not waiting to get this one going. Suicide dive by Pax and a rope flip by Daisuke and they just sprawled American Muscle out across the ground, scattering Chip’s crew.

The crowd pops and W&P take a moment to get pumped up.

Hanson: Now that was a smart start but here’s why they can’t win. They should be following up instead of basking in the crowd.

Vinegar: Maybe so, but doing so seems to have added to the fire. Marek’s stomping down on Dredd while Ezekiel lays right hands down on Masters.

Hanson: Has this match even officially begun?

Vinegar: I don’t think so. Dredd fighting up to his feet and scrambling away. He’s not getting far though, Marek just ran right along that thin top of the crowd barriers after him and hit’s a dropkick to the back of the Monster’s head.

Hanson: Don’t take your eye of Chip though, he just kicked Zeke off and threw him shoulder first into the apron.

Vinegar: Chip rolling The Red Eyed Wonder into the ring and there’s the opening bell. Cover attempt straight away.

1!

Vinegar: Kick out by Pax and I think referee Owen Peterson is happy to have this match finally in the ring.

Hanson: Not thanks to him.

Vinegar: I don’t think there was much he could have done. The American Champion locking in a tight front face lock on the mat, slowing this one right down.

Hanson: In the ring maybe, outside Marek just ran his knee right through Dredd slumped against out announce table here. Get off him ya circus freak!

Vinegar: Oh I hope he heard that. If he did though he’s holding back as he just climbed up to the top turnbuckle. Swanton bomb right over the back on Chip Masters and he breaks the hold!

Hanson: Ok, get him out of the ring, stoner boys the legal man, that’s clear.

Vinegar: Peterson seems to have agreed with you and he’s shepherding Marek out but Ezekiel’s back to him feet and lifting Masters up, locks in an arm wrench.

Hanson: The American Champions with a perfect counter, rolls out and locks in an arm wrench of him own.

Vinegar: Countered by Pax, front flip, arm wrench and leg sweep, arm lock attempt. Kip up by Masters, drop toe hold, leg grapevine attempt but Ezekiel gets to the ropes.

Hanson: Yeah he’d better run away, Chip Masters will make you tap out.

Vinegar: The two squaring up again, arm drag by Masters, Pax rolls out and comes back with an arm drag of his own and holds it for a shoulder lock.

Hanson: Dredd’s not having any of it.

Vinegar: He’s sure not, he just ran his boot through the face of the Iron Man, Owen Peterson stepping in to remove him.
Hanson: Ha, he’s not removing him, he’s just standing there while Dredd let’s himself out. Like an idiot like Peterson could do anything about it if Dredd chose to stay.

Vinegar: Disqualify him.

Hanson: Except that.

Vinegar: Yeah, he couldn’t do anything except the things he could do, good argument. Pax trying to make the tag but Masters has got his leg and dragged him back to American Muscle’s corner, tag to Dredd and a big double suplex.

Hanson: See, these little guys can’t handle this kind of power game, or technical skill, or experience. That’s been proven already.

Vinegar: But you can never count out heart and that’s something War and Peace have in spades. Scoop slam by Dredd and into a big elbow drop. Pin attempt.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out by Peace. Dredd drags him back over to the corner and Chip tags himself in. Dredd holds him open as Masters delivers a stiff kick to the gut.

Hanson: And teamwork, I forgot to say teamwork.

Vinegar: Whip by Masters, clothesline attempt, ducked by Pax, Foot n Mouth! Desperation counter by Ezekiel Pax and he’s looking for the tag.

Hanson: Ha, one of Chip’s crew is up on the apron and the ref’s distracted. Dredd gets in and pulls Zeke back.

Vinegar: Wait, is that? Xavier Bryan’s charging down the ramp and just grabbed the guys leg on the apron, he comes down, hitting his head as he falls and Bryan is laying waste to Chip Masters entourage and the whole group is scrambling away.

Hanson: Just like a paranoid stoner to attack to the guys minding their own business.

Vinegar: If by minding their own business you mean cheating. Marek’s just jumped over the ropes and run at Dredd. Missile Knee lands before Peterson knows what’s happening. Run up again for the Human Missile and a huge clothesline takes them both out of the ring.

Hanson: That kids nuts, someone get this guy some valium or something.

Vinegar: I think Dredd’s going to be regretting making Marek Daisuke angry.

Hanson: Try to pay attention to what’s going on in the ring.

Vinegar: Just like you do, but thank you. Both men back to their feet. Whip attempt by Pax, countered by Masters and gets the go behind as Pax comes back. Cobra clutch--

Hanson: The American Dream! He just dropped him on the back of the head.

Vinegar: High impact move and he rolled him over, is it going to be? Yes, Seein’ Stars and Stripes, that submission finisher is locked in. Marek hears his partner cry out and jumps up onto the apron, looks like a springboard move--

Hanson: Dredd’s not out of it yet though and he gets up to grab the rope and crazy guy falls.

Vinegar: Ezekiel can’t take it much longer, will he? No, it’s over! Tap out by Ezekiel Pax.

Dennis: Here are your winners, American Muscle!

Vinegar: Master’s hasn’t broken the hold yet and Dredd’s still laying it onto Marek back outside the ring. I think Xavier’s finally done chasing off The American Champion’s entourage and just got up into the ring.

Hanson: That idiot will never learn, he can’t compete with the likes of---

Vinegar: Huge lariat by Xavier Bryan and Masters is stunned.

Dredd finally power bombs Marek on the outside as Chip Masters rolls out of the ring. The two join up again and walk out, arms held high as Xavier Bryan attends to his team.

[Lord Hastings]

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF JAY MOTHER FUCKIN’ Z IS THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!”

Bones stands in the boiler room, licking a life-size poster of Gabrielle Maddison Montgomery along the stomach. He stops, at seeing Boss Penguin standing in the entrance to the room, the Enforcer of GIW not quite knowing how to react to this, so simply deciding a Tommy gun aimed squarely on the deranged janitor is the best course of action.

Bones: Pa - please M - Mr. Boss Penguin s - s - sir, I - I ju - just like the - the girls.

“YOU A FUCKIN’ SICK ASSHOLE! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO HERE, ANYWAY?!?! OTHER THAN CUTTIN’ UP WANNABE NIGGAS!!!”

Bones: I - cle - clean… I get t - to scrub the toilets tha - that my Gabby baby uses!

Boss Penguin raises an eyebrow (or the space where his eyebrow would be, if he weren’t a penguin), as if actually having met his match. A second later, his brow furrows and he sends a barrage of bullets Bones’ way. The janitor cries out and hits the floor, as his Gabrielle poster is riddled with holes and then torn completely apart within seconds.

“Fuckin’ psycho…”

Boss P slams the door to the boiler room shut, as Bones weeps into the shredded pieces of paper. The Enforcer then begins waddling down the hallway, exploring the home of the company he now controls. He soon encounters Owen Peterson, practising his three count.

Peterson: One! Two! Four! No wait, that’s not right… One! Three! Two! Hmmm, that seems off too. I need to ask Glenn for some help with this stuff, it’s intense.

“WHAT YOU SAY NIGGA?!?!”

Peterson: Boss P?! It’s really great to meet you, sir. I’m really excited about working with you.

Peterson extends his hand and Boss P responds by grabbing it and stamping the burning end of his cigar into Peterson’s palm.

Peterson: OOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!! THAT WAS MY COUNTING HAND!!!

“THEN COUNT WITH THE OTHER ONE, YA GIANT WHITE PUSSY!!! LETS GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. YOU WORK FOR BOSS MOTHER FUCKIN’ P!!! AIN’T NO FAT ASSED YARDIE BITCH CALLING HIMSELF MY HOMEY!!!”

Peterson: I was born in New Yo -

“DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK?! NOW WHAT’S THIS PUSSY TALK I HEAR ABOUT YOU NOT FACING THAT WHITE BOY?!?!”

Peterson: You mean Hastings? He’s a wrestler, I’m just a referee. I’d get my ass kic -

“NIGGA SAY WHAT?! YOU AIN’T NO GOD DAMN WOMAN! YOU A BROTHA! A PLAYER! A HARDCORE MOTHER FUCKIN’ GANGSTA!! AND YOU GONNA GO OUT THERE AT HORIZONS AND YOU GONNA KICK THE FUCK OUTTA THAT PILLOW PUSHIN’ FAGGOT! 'COZ I AIN’T HAVIN’ MY HOOD DISRESPECTED, 'COZ YOU A BITCH!!!”

Peterson: …

“YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT! AND GO GET A FUCKING BANDAGE, YOU’RE GETTING BLOOD ALL OVER MY FLOOR!!”

Boss P continues waddling his way down the hallway, leaving a distraught Peterson clutching his hand and having no idea what just happened. From the side, Rick Ricker arrives on the scene, dressed in a giant penguin suit. He thumps his fist to his chest twice and then extends it, waiting for Peterson to do the same.

Ricker: Nigga Pride, compton.

We then cut back to the arena, to a giddy Hanson and fairly standard looking Vinegar.

Hanson: Hehehehe!

Vinegar: Well folks judging by the giddiness of my overpaid cohort, I believe the Women’s Champion is in action next!

Hanson: Damn right, bitches! And you know I think that little boo boo on her lip just adds to the perfection Gabrielle.

Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for a triple threat match! Introducing the special guest referee Chinatsu Chen!

The bagpipes of ‘Warriors Code’ by Dropkick Murphys hit the PA system and the fans immediately rise to the feet with a roar of approval. Chinatsu humbly walks out onto the entrance stage wearing an ear to ear grin and a black and white striped referee’s jersey. She quickly makes her way to the ring, slides in under the bottom rope, and acknowledges the fans as Dennis continues his introductions.

Hanson: Oh it’s just going to be fun!

Vinegar: Well, Daniel I have to say I’m a bit surprised.

Hanson: What, Chinatsu and Gabrielle just mere feet away. Who can’t love this?

Dennis: And introducing first standing five forr four inches, weighting in at 120 pounds, this is Chassie Lynn Fear!

The lights dim as red and white strobe lights keep pace with the fast beat of Shinedown’s ‘Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide’. The Dark Rose storms out from the curtain, surveys the crowd as they cheer, and then breaks into a full sprint towards the ring. She reaches the apron, hops planting a foot on ring, grabs the top rope, and flips over and into in the ring.

Vinegar: Yeah, yeah, I don’t know. I guess I just thought with your idol Declan in the match you’d be a little nervous.

Hanson: Nervous? Why does anyone need to be nervous around Mr. Prescott? Anyone worthy of being in his presence that is?

Vinegar: Yeah well, I was just think…

Hanson: No shut up!

‘Envy’ by KHZ immediately begins over the speakers.

Dennis: Her opponent standing five foot six inches, weighting in at 130 pounds, she is the GIW Women’s Champion, she is Gabrielle Maddison Montgomery!

Vinegar: I was just going…

Hanson: Shut up! If you ruin this for me, for the love of god I swear I’ll fuck yo momma!

Vinegar: You’ll do wha…

Hanson: I’ll bend that fat bitch over, drill her in her dried up snatch, then just before I drop my seed in her, I’ll reach up, and punch that cunt in the back of her skull! I’ll donkey punch that bitch, I swear to god, now shut the fuck up, and let me enjoy the Diamond Princess’ entrance!

The gold and purple arena lights focus on the curtain as Gabrielle struts out from the back wearing an elegant robe, and holding the Women’s Championship. With a bit of distain present in her eyes she ignores the boos from the fans, and confidently walks to the ring. She slowly climbs the ring steps, and insists on Mitchell opening the ropes for her.

Vinegar: Better now?

Hanson: Much. You know I DVR’ed her entrance, and late at night when I got nothing better to do I replay it over and over and over?

Vinegar: No I didn’t know that, but always suspected.

Hanson: Like a care. I’m just waiting until she ditches that loser Severino, and then BOOM there’s my chance!

Dennis: And saving the last for last, their opponent weighting not my boss, standing doesn’t sign my checks any more, this is Doubly Penetrated!

Declan Prescott alone walks out onto the stage without pyro or lighting effects or even music this time. He looks around confused as the fans hurl slurs and vulgarities at the Significant Player.

Hanson: What the hell is this? What the hell was that? Dennis should be fired! The sound guys should all be shot!

Vinegar: Yeah, by who?

Hanson: You know sooner or later the waters gonna get warm, penguins will be endangered, and then boom…

Vinegar: You’ll get Gabby!

Hanson: Yeah! Wait no, what, listen it’s a fact! When you’re as talented as Mr. Prescott there is just no keeping you down. He’ll get his company back, and then you’ll all wish he didn’t remember these insults!

Vinegar: Well that may be, but until that day I’m going to enjoy Boss Penguin dishing out some of Prescott’s own medicine.

Hanson: And just what the hell does that mean?

Vinegar: Really, you don’t know? It was just last month, Distant Whispers, Prescott, Chen, BoolZ, a crowbar! Now Declan has to wrestler two women, and Chinatsu is the ref!

Hanson: How dare you suggest my cute innocent little Chinatsu would be anything less that fair and unbiased!

Vinegar: Well we’ll see. Chen calls for the bell, and we’re underway!

Hanson: Yeah there’s the bell, and Declan hits the mat, and rolls out of the ring.

Vinegar: What is he doing? Gabby and Fear look to Chinatsu, all three ladies seemed confused as Prescott walks back up the entrance ramp.

Hanson: What’s to be confused about? He isn’t BoolZ, he doesn’t have to do what some little flightless bird squawks at him to do. He’s still the Heart and Soul of GIW!

Vinegar: Well the confusion is over at least as far as Gabrielle and Chassie are concerned! Gabby charges at Fear with a sneak attack, but is greeted with nothing but a jumping high knee, and Gabby is down!

Hanson: Not the face, not that gorgeous face!

Vinegar: Fear follows up with a leg drop, kips up, and straight into another leg drop.

Hanson: Oh come on, not those perfect features! She’s purposefully trying to bruise and damage Ms. Montgomery’s face because she’s jealous!

Vinegar: Chassie pulling Gabrielle to her feet, ¾ turn neckbreaker, Gabby pushes her off, Fear turns, and the Perfect Beauty uses a handful of hair to snapmare Fear down!

Hanson: Damn right! If that old bag is going to be all jealous and shit, and fight dirty, then so will the Epitome of Beauty!

Vinegar: Gabby keeping a hold on Chassie’s long hair, and pulls her to her stomach, then pulls her straight up, curb stomp!

Hanson: Chinatsu no, no just let her wrestle!

Vinegar: Chen admonishing Gabrielle now over the use of Fears hair, and I think Gabrielle is listening. She pulls Fear back to her feet, GaBuster, NO Fear shrugs her off, and Gabby lands on the mat. Fear hits the ropes, SPRING BOARD MOONSAULT!

Hanson: It was Chen, how could that even be possible. I think the distraction of one of my favorite people ever just cost one of my other favorite people their advantage. I’m speechless!

Vinegar: Thank god for small, WHAT THE HELL? Prescott’s back in the ring, and he’s just leveled Chassie Fear with the damned crowbar!

Hanson: See back in power all ready, and he couldn’t let that ugly little troll damage the commodity of Pro Wrestling’s Envied Princess!

Vinegar: Chen getting in Prescott’s face now, and she’s down! Damn him, this just to far!

Hanson: What? Remember last time she got a shot at the Hardcore title. I mean sure it’s never been much with that walking herpy Austin or Syphilis for brains BoolZ, but it’s singles gold.

Vinegar: Well Gabrielle now climbing back to her feet, DAMNIT Prescott with a head of steam, and he just blasted a third woman with that damn weapon! What kind of man is Prescott!?!

Hanson: He’s a, a, I don’t know what kinda man my boy is, but I’d no sooner question the all mighty ones wisdom than I would Declan Prescott’s motivation.

Vinegar: Well either way I think this match is a no decision, and Prescott mercifully drops that damn crowbar, and slides out of the ring. Wait a minute.

Hanson: Mr. Prescott’s stopped at ringside.

Vinegar: Oh this can’t be good. Is that, it is, Prescott is staring directly at Mary-Joanna Roberts!

Hanson: Yeah, make it four for four, and cripple that cheating skank!

Vinegar: Folks this isn’t going to be good. Prescott’s got Mary-Joanna, and is dragging her from the crowd, and into the ring!

Hanson: That’s right bitch, beg! Middle of the ring, and Mr. Prescott’s got that crowbar!

Vinegar: And here comes BoolZ! He races down the ramp, slides into the ring, and is standing between Declan and Mary-Joanna!

Hanson: Like that’ll stop the Significant Player.

Vinegar: Wait a minute, Brandon Brown out of no where just tackled Declan from behind, and those two are slugging it out!

Hanson: What the hell! And BoolZ is running!

Vinegar: I don’t know if escorting Mary-Joanna out of harms way is running.

Hanson: It’s running. He’s a cowardly little shit.

Vinegar: No, that’s running! Declan breaks free, and he’s high tailing it back up the ramp as Brown gives chase. What the hell just happened?

Hanson: Look up at the ramp. It’s Travis Roberts, and he looks in shock.

Vinegar: What’s he holding? Is that a rock? Some kind of marble or granite? He looks on the verge of a break down.

Hanson: That’s it! It’s part of his ruined countertop! He’s in disbelief someone could be so cruel as to steal his sink.

Vinegar: Sink?

Hanson: Yeah. Damnit come on admit it. Every little boy dreams of one day finding that one, that perfect kitchen of their dreams, and BoolZ stole it from Travis Roberts. He’s tainted it, and it’ll never be the same.

Vinegar: Well where is Travis going?

Hanson: Oh he’s leaving. He doesn’t have to annihilate BoolZ now, I bet he just wanted to get a good look at the lowest form of man walking.

Vinegar: Yeah, and not because BoolZ is having relations with Roberts’ ex-wife but because he allegedly stole his sink. Folks triple threat tag action is next!

[Lord Hastings]

Vinegar: We’re back...and after the previous Shenanigans BoolZ is already in the ring awaiting his forthcoming match...

Hanson: As much as I hate it when Randy opens his syphilis ridden mouth live on air, it does mean we have one less entrance to sit through, and considering this is a triple threat tag match, and each man has a separate entrance, that’s a real blessing.

Vinegar: Do you get a strange...cold feeling when we agree on something. It’s like somebody just walked over my grave.

Dennis: The next match is scheduled for one fall and is a Triple Threat Tag Match. Introducing first, because he decided to make an early entrance, from Oceanside, California, the GIW Hardcore Champion....RAAAAAAANDY BOOOOOOOOLZIAN!

Vinegar: The fans still let out a tremendous cheer at the sound of his name, despite the fact he has been in the ring for a substantial amount of time.

Hanson: And you wonder why Declan Prescott regards them to be retards.

“Rooster” blasts across the PA.

Hanson: Eh? Isn’t Kiseragi BoolZ’s Partner...

Vinegar: I thought so...

Dennis: Currently heading to the ring, is NOT Randy Boolzian’s tag team partner, The Global Champion...always...ALWAYS comes out last...

Hanson: So Randy’s gonna be a little out numbered...

Vinegar: Well he’s still got Mary-Joanna, she’s refusing to leave rringside, she’s going to support her man.

Hanson: Slut.

Dennis: Weighing 254 lbs, from Memphis, NY...’The Stud Rooster’...MICCKEEEEEY B BAAAAAADD!

Lights go down, except for a sole spotlight on the entrance ramp as the music kicks on. Mikey purposely takes an annoyingly long time getting to the ring, choosing to wait until the first chorus line of the song ("Yeah, here come the Rooster") before enthusiastically popping out from behind the curtain with a big cheesy grin. He wears a heavily sequined red robe with Stud Rooster embroidered on the back, and the initials MBB in cursive on his lapel.

Vinegar: And the fans have taken an instant disliking to this man following his altercation with Aragato last week...

Hanson: look, I’m not surprised the guy has a problem with Aragato, the guys a jabbering buffoon...


Badd is oblivious to the crowd's jeers as he makes his way to the ring, waving and offering handshakes to fans that are never accepted. He climbs up onto the apron, avoiding the stairs, wipes his feet on the apron and steps into the ring where the house lights come back up. Badd disrobes and tosses the garment at the ring announcer (AKA Mitchell Dennis) who he has seemingly mistaken for the proper official to handle it. He prods a finger into this man's chest, warning him severely to not drop his precious robe before retreating to the corner to await his opponent.

“Immortal Hits”

Dennis: And introducing his partner from Hartford, Connecticut, DOOOOOOOONOOOOOVAN HAAAAAAASTTTIIIIIINGS!!!!

Hastings makes his way to the ring, wearing his dark cloak as usual, He glides down the ramp, paying no attention to the fans who heckle him merely feet away.

Vinegar: I’m honestly starting to worry about this guy, Daniel. Why is he spending so much time going after a referee, if he used some of that energy in pursuing a title, maybe then he’d get closer to immortality.

Hanson: You are missing the point, he can never attempt to claim a title whilst that parasite Owen Peterson continues to officiate in GIW. Peterson will do everything he can to impede ‘The Immortal One’ from reaching his desinty, so he must be taught a lesson...

Vinegar: You have a good point.

Hanson: I do?

Vinegar: Yeah, Hastings is as mad as the cracked out homeless guy who lives in the stairwell of your apartment...

Hanson: Good ole’ Gareth, sure he roams the halls imitating farmyard animals at night and singing Christmas Carols in August, but he’s harmless.

Vinegar: Didn’t he assault your neighbour with a Cactus?

Hanson: She had it coming, Mrs Fletcher, she’s a damn slut, I’m always being woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of sirens and people kicking in her door...

Vinegar: She’s 94! That’s the paramedics you toad.

£Great Muta Concerto” hits.

Dennis: And introducing their opponents, first hailing from Kyoto Japan....ARAAAAAAAAGAAAAAATOOOOOO!!!

Basically, take Tajiri, and just superimpose Aragato over Tajiri, and you will have Aragato’s entrance. Although, when he comes in, he is wearing a harness of kendo sticks, which he takes off before entering the ring. And, just like Komosube, before Aragato enters, the ring goes into the weird lighting and an image of the Hiroshima blast engulfs the titantron, before his music hits and he enters the ring.

Hanson: That was weird...

Vinegar: Get the feeling T-Rob couldn’t be bothered to rewrite that entrance into something that resembled man actual entrance?

Hanson: Possibly....Who’s Tajiri?

"Warmageddon" sneaks into existence over the p.a.

Dennis: And introducing his opponent, from Northern Ireland...Where abouts in Northern Ireland you ask? It’s a fairly big place, you say? Derry? Belfast?...RAEEEEEEEENIIIIIIUUUUUS!

A macabre, dark purple light fills the arena with a sinister and misty disdain as our Resident Evil, Raenius, walks out slowly, proudly wearing his uCw Kings of Hardcore t-shirt, clearly showing it's print saying 'We Bleed For You' for the world to see. He stalks bestially down the aisle emanating hatred before he jumps up onto the apron, knee-first, and pulls himself upright using the ropes. He stands, looking out at the crowd for a few seconds before entering the ring.

Hanson: What’s uCw?

Vinegar: Do you ever pay attention?

Hanson: Only to the important stuff...from what I’ve seen of this guy he’s convinced he’s an absolute head case, he should fit in well...

Vinegar: And what are you suggesting?

Hanson: Just that there are a hell of a lot of guys here in GIW who think they are unique, dangerous and harrowing, would you care to disagree?

Vinegar: We-ee-ell...

“Teahouse Hits” and the arena goes into overdrive.

Dennis: And lastly, introducing Randy Boolzian’s partner, he hails from San Francisco, California, he is The G....I....W.....GLOOOOOOOBAL HEEEEEEAAAAVYWEEEEIGHT CHAMPION....HE IS THE DRAGON....ALEX KIIIIISERAAAAAGIIII!

Alex appears on stage with the Global Heavyweight Championship wrapped around his waist. It may be unknown to some, but the Global Heavyweight Champion is not a fan of entrances cut and paste from his profile, this may or may not have something to do with the fact that it is so short. So it is your, not so humble, match writer’s job to describe our Champions descent to the ring.

Alex initially stands with both hands on his belt; thumbs tucked into the top in an almost model like position and surveys the thousands of fans that are screaming his name. He takes a quick look behind him, almost as if checking to see if a rogue Donkey had wandered onto stage for some unknown reason, for a moment looks relieved and then starts to make his way to the ring. Slapping the outstretched hands of his fans he soon stops half way to the ring, and then remembers to bust out his trademark roundhouse kicks and back flip, each accompanied by varying levels of pyrotechnics. He then climbs into the ring and makes his way to his corner with Randy Boolzian.

Vinegar: These guys have got to be favourites for this match, The Global Champion and a man who seems to be invulnerable to pinfalls or submissions...

Hanson: Don’t rule out Hastings’ team, with no Peterson around ‘The Immortal One’ is sure to be a threat in this match...

Vinegar: Well hazel has now got the teams in their corners,a nd it seems we’re gonna see Randy Boolzian, Donovan Hastings and Raenius to start this one off...

Hanson: And that crazed, masked wearing schizo barely waits for the bell and launches himself at Randy Boolzian, knocking him to the floor with a flying lariat...if I could see past that mask of his, I’m sure we’d see a smile on his face, he gets to his feet and takes down the advancing Donovan Hastings with a Hip Toss, and then drives an elbow into ‘The Immortal Ones’ face...

Vinegar: BoolZ though, springs to his feet with pace, and catches the rising Raenius in a Full Nelson, but Raenius slips out of it and counters into a hammerlock, then sends Randy into the ropes...

Hanson: but BoolZ ducks the attempted clothesline from Raenius, jumps onto the second rope, and as Raenius turns to face him, launches into TWiSTeDSteele...knocking Raenius to the floor...

Vinegar: Now Hastings is back on his feet and walks over to BoolZ, only to be met by a stiff elbow from The Hardcore Champion, which sends him back down to the floor, Raenius takes the chance to tag in Aragato...who scuttles into the ring, and sidles face up to Randy....and just locks eyes with him...

Hanson: And BoolZ is matching the stare, Hastings gets to his feet, but takes one look at the two men and decides he’s better off out of it right now...

Vinegar: There is some real tension in the air, the fans are drumming their feet on the ground....the whole arena is shaking...

Hanson: What the hell?!?

Vinegar: Aragato, as quick as lightening, turns away from BoolZ and Scourges Mickey B Badd right on the apron....and Badd can’t keep hold of the ropes, or his balance and goes tumbling from the ring....

Hanson: Hastings takes his opportunity and sneaks up behind BoolZ and rolls the Hardcore Champion up....1....2....NO! BoolZ just recovers in time...

Vinegar: But as Randy climbs to his feet he’s met with a dropkick to the face from Aragato, who now lands Hastings with a stiff chop, jumps onto The Lord’s Shoulders HURICAN....NO! Hastings reverses and hits a power bomb on the smaller half of Hiroshima.

Hanson: he turns to his corner to tag out, but Mickey B. bad is still outside on the floor, he seems to be selling that fall like the true Old Schooler he is...

Vinegar: And in doing so, is leaving his partner in jeopardy inside the ring, Randy Boolzian on the other hand has no such problems and tags in The Global Heavyweight Champion, Alex Kiseragi.

Hanson: At least he hasn’t got a mic...A-Kis zeroes straight in on Hastings and charges hi, but stops abruptly inches from Hastings, The Lord though had already dropped to the floor to dodge the oncoming Global Champion...

Vinegar: He springs to his feet, facing away from Kiseragi, looking directly where ‘The Dragon’ would have been if he hadn’t stopped dead in his tracks. For a brief moment Hastings looks confused, but a moment of enlightenment seems to dawn just as Kiseragi lands a twisting neckbreaker to ‘The Immortal One’...

Hanson: Aragato though has been watching patiently in the far corner, stalking the Global Heavyweight Champion as if he were prey, and decides to strike just as Kiseragi climbs to his feet, he sprints towards Kiseragi, and then lands a Palm Strike to Kiseragi’s right knee...

Vinegar: And The Champion merely looks at him, the strike had seemingly no effect, and raises his left knee swiftly and square into Aragato’s temple, sending him collapsing to the ground. Now The Champion takes a moment to salute the fans who are going craxy for him...

Hanson: If Travis Roberts or Declan Prescott did that, you’d accuse them of being cocky...

Vinegar: Yeah, but no-one ever cheers for them. But it seems to have backfired on Alex Kiseragi as Donovan Hastings gets behind him and then sends the Champion to the floor with a Full Nelson Slam, he turns and see’s that Mickey B Badd has finally mad eit back onto the ring, and tags him in...

Hanson: And Badd waits for Alex Kiseragi to get to his knees, and then strikes at him with a SHIIIIIIINIIIIING WIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAARD....

Vinegar: You can’t pull that off, your voice starts to warble...

Hanson: Regardless, I’m enjoying this, Badd is on top of Kiseragi, hitting him with mounted punches...in fact I bet A-Kis is getting quite the kick out of this, I bet he’s not too bothered about having a 250lb man on top of him...

Vinegar: Will you ever stop inferring that Alex Kiseragi is a homosexual man...

Hanson: I’m just saying he probably enjoys big men beating on him...if he had a problem with it he wouldn’t be doing photo shoots for the GAY Times...

Vinegar: That was for Calvin Klein!

Hanson: Ripped black jeans, pulled halfway down his thigh? You sure that was CK? He even had black cloth tightly wrapped around his hands...

Vinegar: You seemed to pay an awful lot of attention to those photos didn’t you. It seems though, that in difference to your views, Kiseragi has had enough of Mikey B Badd , and twists his Legs around the Rooster’s shoulders, and tips him back into a pinning predicament...1....2....NO! The Stud Roooster manages to kick out of the attempt....

Hanson: Aragato has meanwhile come round from that knee strike to the temple, and tags in Raenius who launches towards the rising Alex Kiseragi, spins him round from behind, only for Alex to deliver a roundhouse kick directly to his mask, sending him to the floor...

Vinegar: He turns his attentions to The Stud Rooster and hits him now with a Dragonsuplex...he’s building momentum...he then crouches in the corner, looking towards Raenius, waiting for him to rise....the crowd knows what is coming next, his trademark Yari Kick, Raenius gets to one knee and A-Kis starts sprinting towards him...

Hanson: And Aragato on the apron snaps his fingers....

Vinegar: And Alex Kiseragi’s right knee buckles mid stride, sending The Global Champion spiralling headlong into the canvas at the unexpected loss of support...

Hanson: I can’t believe it! I’ve read about the Exploding Palm in Aragato’s profile...I never thought I’d see him do it...we all thought that palm strike earlier did no damage...and it was merely a time bomb, waiting for Aragato to detonate it....

Vinegar: And in doing so has probably just rescued his team from defeat...Now Raenius is crouching, and A-Kis gets to gingerly to his feet...FYULL FORNTAL!!!

Hanson: The masked lunatic takes down The Global heavyweight Champion with that modified Gore, and he goes for the pin....1....2....! No Mikey B Badd breakes the count....

Vinegar: Modified?

Hanson: Huh?

Vinegar: You said Raenius used a ‘modified’ gore, how’d he modify it?

Hanson: Well he must of! Someone as creative and enigmatic as Raenius wouldn’t just use a standard Gore would he? There’d be something unique about it, surely?

Vinegar: Fair Point..Raenius is now involved in a fist fight with Mikey B Badd, and it allows Kiseragi to hobble over and tag Randy Boolzian back into the action...but rather than let his knee heal he and BoolZ walk over to Raenius and Mikey B Badd, pull them off one another, Kiseragi nails Raenius with a boot to the gut, as BoolZ simultaneously does the same to The Stud Rooster....

Hanson: DISCOMBOOLZALATOR

Vinegar: DRAGON TAIL!

Hanson: BoolZ makes the cover...

Vinegar: As Kiseragi takes the oncoming Hastings down, and then turns and delivers a spinning heel kick to Aragato...

Hanson: Hazel East makes the count....1....2.....3!!!!

Dennis: Here are your winners, via Pinfall, ALEEEEEX KIIIIISERAAAAGI AND RAAAAANDY BOOOOOOLZIIIIIAAAAAN!!!

Vinegar: What a match, and GIW’s two Champions came through it victorious, and both men are now shaking hands in the middle of the ring...

Hanson: That seems like an uneasy handshake to me, both are forcing themselves to be pleasant...

Vinegar: They’ll have plenty of opportunities for hostilities at Horizons...

[Lord Hastings]

Dennis: The following contest is your scheduled main event and is a handicap match!

Bummer starts to play. About thirty seconds later Travis Roberts walks out to the top of the ramp. He takes his usual barrage of boos with a smile.

Vinegar: Things are definatly stacked against this man Travis Roberts as he heads out into this handicap match, clearly a creation of GIW enforcer Boss Penguin.

Hanson: Clearly, but to call this a challenge is a joke. Travis Roberts is in an entirely different league to these window lickers.

Roberts starts to make his way down to the ring, spotting a busty hottie in the front row he starts to walk over towards her when Brandon McSkinny charges out from the back. Skinny dives between the two of them, completely oblivious and starts orbiting the Headliner, throwing up obscure ‘gangsta’ hand signs to the cameras.

Hanson: Oh god…

Vinegar: What do you think Brandon McSkinny will bring to the match.

Hanson: Absolutely nothing. Maybe he’ll distract one of them for a second at the beginning of the match before being knocked unconscious but that’s it.

Dennis: Introducing first, representing the Revolution. From Phoenix Arizona, The Blessed One, Travis Roberrrrrrrts!!! And his tag team partner, from Los Angeles, California, Brandon McSkinny.

Travis Roberts climbs up the ring steps and through the ropes while McSkinny attempts to slide in, winding himself on the apron before crawling under the bottom rope, panting as he walks towards Travis and tries to mimic his post slouched in the corner.

The lights go down and Phantom of the Opera starts to play. The spotlights fix on the ramp and watch as Deathman ascends from below. There’s a few cheers out of a very unenthusiastic audience.

Vinegar: And here’s the return of Lord Deathman who hasn’t been seen since EI8HT.

Hanson: That’s because he pussied out and bitched off after that guy in the ring destroyed him for the number 1 contendership.

Vinegar: Did you just say bitched off?

Hanson: Yeah.
Vinegar: That makes no sense.

Hanson: Yo mom--

The sound of open hand on skin can be heard over the mics.

Hanson: …

Dennis: And the opponents. Introducing first, from, ha, I’m not saying that. Some fat guy in a mask, no-one cares.

Vinegar: Deathman’s in the ring now, Skinny has fled to the outside while The Headliner seems unfazed.

Bullet With Butterfly Wings takes over and Andy Savana starts to make his way out, walking down the ramp, stretching on the way.

Dennis: And the partner, from Houston Texas, weighing in at 244lbs, Andy Savanaaaaaa!!!

Savana climbs into the ring and stands on the opposite side from Deathman who’s still trying to look scary.

Vinegar: What do you think about Savana?

Hanson: …

Vinegar: Me too.

Kickstart my Heart starts to play and crowd erupts, people leaping to their feet. The camera pans around focussing on a number of fans with banners and t-shirts of their favourite star. Brandon Brown makes his way down to the ring, stopping a couple of times to pose.

Vinegar: And listen to this crowd show their appreciation for the return of Brandon Brown after that terrible fall at Distant Whispers. What do you think?

Hanson: …

Vinegar: I know, it’s great. Brown’s up in the ring now and it looks like this ones ready to get underway. Travis Roberts and Andy Savana stepping up first. Quick lock up and Travis Roberts with a go behind. Full Nelson Slam and Savana scrambles to the corner to tag in Deathman.

Hanson: ..uh…
Vinegar: Deathman climbs up over the top rope, staring down The Headliner across the ring and charges in. Drop toe hold takes the big man down, Roberts off the ropes and low dropkick to the face.

Hanson: You slapped me!

Vinegar: Get over it. Travis pulls Deathman back to his feet, knee to the gut and an elbow to the back of the head.

Hanson: I can’t believe you slapped me!

Vinegar: Seriously?

Hanson: Well…

Vinegar: Get over it then, we have a match to call. Travis Roberts just dragged Deathman across the floor to his corner and I think he’s telling Brandon Brown to tag himself in.

Hanson: I guess he thinks he’s the one out of the few who can actually hope to challenge him. Not that he really can.

Vinegar: Well Brandon Brown’s taken it and tagged himself in. The pair of them circling each other, Brandon pounces into a rear waist lock, The Headliner counters into a hammerlock, hammerlock suplex attempt. Brandon leans on his feet and a dropkick knocks Roberts to the ropes.

Hanson: Lucky shot. Travis dives back off the ropes and hit’s a clothesline.

Vinegar: Savana climbs into the ring and catches all of a back body drop for his efforts. It’s given Brandon a chance to get up though and hit’s a knife edge chop, and another, and another, driving Travis Roberts into the corner.

Hanson: The Blessed One soaking up this punishment like it’s nothing.

Vinegar: I wouldn’t go that far, they seem to be taking their toll and Brandon’s able to set him up on the top rope. Super hurricanrana attempt---

Hanson: But the Headliner shrugs it off-

Vinegar: Brown lands on his feet and comes back, springboard enziguri. That shot was vicious.

Hanson: Oh god…

Vinegar: Travis falls forward off the turnbuckle and Brandon leaps up onto the top rope, diving elbow connects! Cover attempt.

1!

2!

Hanson: Easy kick out by the Headliner.

Vinegar: Brandon Brown in full control right now though, whips off the ropes and a back elbow knocks Roberts back down.

Hanson: Look at Skinny, yelling away at Brown from the corner.

Vinegar: I don’t think he’s too worried though and follows up with the foot stomps as Travis pushes himself up.

Hanson: Yeah look at him fight through that barrage, like a true champion.

Vinegar: Brandon with the Irish whip again. Clothesline…

Hanson: Travis ducks it and hit’s a flying shoulder block on the rebound. What a counter!

Vinegar: Both men down and looking for their corners. Skinny calling for a tag as Travis gets across the ring.

Hanson: One window licker tags in another.

Vinegar: Deathman back in the ring but Travis seems to have decided against making the tag and turns back to the General.

Hanson: Of course, why would he let Skinny ruin his chances of beating these three idiots?

Vinegar: Because he’s clearly tired. Deathman throwing haymakers as the Headliner ducks around them, gets behind. Deathman turns and gets hit with a huge DDT. Pin.

1!

2!

Vinegar: Kick out by Deathman and Travis gets back up to take a breather. He’s slouched back in the corner.

Hanson: And that idiot McSkinny blind tagged himself in.

Vinegar: Brandon McSkinny’s the legal man now and he’s going to work stomping down Deathman.

Hanson: Oh this won’t end well.

Vinegar: Deathman’s back up, shrugging off the stomps. Oh god, look at him looming over Skinny. Tries to lock the hands around his throat but Skinny manages to dive between his legs.

Hanson: Travis Roberts just grabbed Glenn Burke’s shirt on the way passed.

Vinegar: Smart move because Skinny just kicked Deathman right in the doodle and Deathman’s gone down. I never thought I’d see the day. Savana seems to have taken badly to it and he’s dived into the ring and Skinny’s on the run.

Hanson: He just ran out of the ring and he’s doing laps, Savana in tow.

Vinegar: Travis just dropped off the apron and clotheslined Savana on the outside. I don’t think Skinny realises he’s been saved though and he’s still running, straight into a super kick from Brandon Brown and he’s got to be out.

Hanson: Look at Travis wailing on Savana, slamming his head into the ring steps.

Vinegar: All form of order is breaking down now though as Deathman gets back up and Brown makes his way around the ring, it looks like it’s going to turn into a three on one beat down.

Hanson: They’ve got him surrounded. Travis ducks around the punches, jabbing back where he can, great display of skill.

Vinegar: Brandon catches him in a waist lock though. Deathman goes for a big boot.

Hanson: But Travis ducked it and Deathman takes down Brandon Brown.

Vinegar: Travis and the Deathman exchanging blows but watch Savana. He’s crawled off and grabbed Skinny, rolled him into the ring, cover attempt.

1!

2!

Hanson: But The Headliner throws Deathman off and breaks the count just in time. He’s got Savana and just threw him back out of the ring.
Vinegar: I think Deathman’s got impatient, he’s just grabbed a chair and headed into the ring.

Hanson: Right in front of the referee, what an idiot.

Vinegar: Swing and a miss by Deathman and a spinning wheel kick hit’s the chair into his face.

Hanson: And Deathman brought it the chair so Travis can’t be DQ’d for the shot.

Vinegar: Brandon Brown’s up and laying right hands on the Headliner. But Travis is fighting back. Travis off the ropes, but Brandon gets him up on his shoulders, could be the GTS.

Hanson: But Travis recovers and lands on his feet, clothesline attempt by Brown but Travis ducks it and swings himself up.

Vinegar: Twisted Tourniquet! The Headliner’s got it locked in.

Hanson: Hey is Skinny moving?

Vinegar: I think so, Brandon McSkinny finally recovering from that kick and just crawled over Deathman. Pin attempt.

1!

Vinegar: Brandon’s screaming in pain but he won’t tap, he’s trying to get over to break the pin.

2!

Hanson: Travis really wrenching the arm, pulling him back.

3!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dennis: Here are you winners, Travis Roberts and Brandon McSkinny!

Travis breaks the hold and grabs Skinny by the collar, dragging him out of the ring.

Vinegar: Well there’s one for the books. Travis Roberts wins the handicap match.

Hanson: It was inevitable.

Vinegar: Doesn’t look like Andy Savana’s done though, he just hit Travis in the back.

Travis takes a couple of shots and fights back, nailing Savana with big right hands. As he stuns him he drags him over to the ring steps.

Vinegar: No, not on the steps.

Hanson: White Out! White Out!

Vinegar: The point on the exclamation mark from the Headliner who just dropped Savana’s head right on the jagged edge of the steps and he’s busted wide open.

Hanson: He had that coming.

Vinegar: Whether that’s true of not it’s a fitting end to another edition of GIW Sentinel. I’m Nicholas Vinegar, here with Daniel Hanson. Good night.

Travis leaves dragging Skinny along the ground, Brandon Brown the only one left standing, clutching his arm in the ring.

[Lord Hastings]

Sentinel 08/11/2008 Credits

DJS vs Marlo
T-Rob

War and Peace vs American Muscle
Ambiguous Alex

Boss P/Peterson Segment
Declan 'How does anything get done when you are not around' Prescott

Declan vs Gabby vs Chassie
'The Desecrator of Kitchenware' Randy Boolzian

Triple Clusterfuck Tag Match
T-Rob

Main Event
A-Kis