Post by Gian Muh'fuckin' Jones on Feb 21, 2015 20:31:17 GMT -5
Name: Gian "Muh'fuckin'" Jones
Area of Responsibility: Honey Taster, Panty Dropper, Party Popper
Moniker: "The Blackest Dude in UGWC"
Slogans: "Y.A.W.I." (Y'all Ain't Want It) & "H.A.A.M." (Hard As A Motherfucker)
Pic base: Craig Robinson
Appearance: Gian Jones does and says whatever the fuck he wants to; why should the way he looks be any different? He's got a mini 'fro and a goatee, and a quick dazzling grin which springs forth out of nowhere. That dude is just as comfortable wearing a bathrobe as he is in a finely tailored Armani suit. Shit. You might even see that motherfucker in plaid pants and a Mighty Mighty BossTones t-shirt. He finds your preconceived notions completely and totally irrelevant, especially those about the clothing choices of a man with his particular hue of epidermis and/or socioeconomic status. You ain't like it? Your wife said it makes him look cute. Then she sucked his dick.
For in-ring competition, Gian sticks to a solid color singlet (as pictured above) which has two shoulder straps and legs which end at mid-thigh. The front of his singlet bears a simple yet elegant logo based on his initials, along with five-pointed stars. His last name is spelled out down the back of the singlet, vertically. He wears simple black pads on his elbows and knees, and black athletic tape around his wrists. For footwear, it's black boots with white soles, and kick pads which color match his singlet.
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 267 Pounds
Age: Late 20's
Alignment: Babyface
Hometown: Los Angeles, California
Currently Residing In: The City Heights neighborhood of San Diego, California
Known Allies: Klaus vonKnorre, Harley Addams, El Mucho Gordo, Jet Somers
Enemies: Hipsters, craft beer enthusiasts, beer snobs, beer hipsters, and anybody at any Cracker Barrel restaurant
Entrance Music: "Love 2 Dislike Me" by Tech N9NE (featuring Liz Suwandi & Tyler Lyon)
Entrance: Strobe lights flash and smoke gathers upon the stage as the intro to Tech N9NE's rap-metal experimentation "Love 2 Dislike Me" plays. There's a hush from the crowd at the haunting, ethereal nature of Liz Suwandi's soulful singing. Soon enough, though, the full brunt of the song hits, and the curtain parts.
Gian Jones charges out from the backstage area, and stands on the stage with his chest puffed out and shoulders back. He slowly and methodically raises both fists, basking in the glory as the women in the audience throw their panties and bras at him.
Slowly and methodically marching down the ramp with his arms out, he continues to have women's undergarments rain down upon him, some of them becoming draped over his head, shoulders, and/or arms, but a fair number falling at his feet to be left behind on the ramp as he makes his way to the ring.
Finally reaching the base of the ramp, he leans back, arching his whole body and looking up. He does an all-over, fluid little sort of a shake, the "Bernie Lean" dance, as it is known. Here, some punter from a college nobody has ever heard of will show you how it's done:
The result of this, of course, is that all of the panties and bras fall off his body, dropping onto the safety mats which cover the ringside area. With a grin and a wink to some slut in the first row, he rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring.
Fighting Style: Technically sound brawler, think William Regal or Dave "Fit" Finlay
Taunts: You know that thing where Samoa Joe used to calmly walk out of the way of a top rope dive move from an opponent, all dismissive and "Pffttt, fuck this guy," cool as a cucumber? Gian does that. He also pantomimes jerking off, sometimes.
Regular Moves:
- Rolling Senton
- Release German Suplex
- Fisherman Buster (occasionally Suplex variant instead, with bridging pin)
- Exploder Suplex
- Kneedrop
- Fujiwara Armbar
- Scoop Powerslam
- Slingshot Corner Elbow
- Samoan Drop
- Gutwrench Suplex
- Short Arm Lariat
Signature Moves:
Miley Cyrus: It's a running Cannonball Senton to a seated opponent, propped up against the bottom turnbuckle;
The name is because he comes in like a wrecking ball. Once he hits the move, he'll usually turn to the crowd while pointing at the opponent and loudly yelling that fact. Watch, I'll show you:
Gian Jones: "I came in like a fuckin' WRECKING BALL on dat muh'fucka!"
See? I told you. As a matter of fact, if you're a match writer you can probably just copy and paste that into what you're writing, to make it nice and easy on yourself. You're welcome, bitch.
Splattered: Rolling Fireman's Carry Slam
Flip Out Wit'cho Tits Out: Snap Butterfly Suplex
Primary Finisher:
Stay Down, Bitch; Pop-Up Sit-Out Powerbomb, usually into a pin.
Secondary Finisher:
Check Yo' Neck; Fireman's Carry Knee Neckbreaker
Personality: Gian Jones thinks very highly of himself, and doesn't think very highly of many others. There's a proverbial short list of people who he does respect, though, and he's actually pretty loyal to them. Never one to take much too seriously, he makes fun of a lot of motherfuckers, and is....well, let's be diplomatic and say that he's "very opinionated," okay?
Biography: Gian Jones used to work for PMN, being especially loyal to Jet Somers, who gave him his start in UGWC as a part of the "Stars of Tomorrow" initiative. However, after Eden Morgan's hostile takeover scheme, Gian found himself no longer welcome in the company, and began spending more and more time in Louisiana with members of the Devil's Most Wanted motorcycle club. Jet took a hiatus to go be a Nomad with Nate Korpi or some shit, though, so now Gian kicks it with his other favorite white people; Klaus vonKnorre and Harley Addams. He even followed them when they left the DMW behind to re-establish themselves in San Diego.
Area of Responsibility: Honey Taster, Panty Dropper, Party Popper
Moniker: "The Blackest Dude in UGWC"
Slogans: "Y.A.W.I." (Y'all Ain't Want It) & "H.A.A.M." (Hard As A Motherfucker)
Pic base: Craig Robinson
Appearance: Gian Jones does and says whatever the fuck he wants to; why should the way he looks be any different? He's got a mini 'fro and a goatee, and a quick dazzling grin which springs forth out of nowhere. That dude is just as comfortable wearing a bathrobe as he is in a finely tailored Armani suit. Shit. You might even see that motherfucker in plaid pants and a Mighty Mighty BossTones t-shirt. He finds your preconceived notions completely and totally irrelevant, especially those about the clothing choices of a man with his particular hue of epidermis and/or socioeconomic status. You ain't like it? Your wife said it makes him look cute. Then she sucked his dick.
For in-ring competition, Gian sticks to a solid color singlet (as pictured above) which has two shoulder straps and legs which end at mid-thigh. The front of his singlet bears a simple yet elegant logo based on his initials, along with five-pointed stars. His last name is spelled out down the back of the singlet, vertically. He wears simple black pads on his elbows and knees, and black athletic tape around his wrists. For footwear, it's black boots with white soles, and kick pads which color match his singlet.
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 267 Pounds
Age: Late 20's
Alignment: Babyface
Hometown: Los Angeles, California
Currently Residing In: The City Heights neighborhood of San Diego, California
Known Allies: Klaus vonKnorre, Harley Addams, El Mucho Gordo, Jet Somers
Enemies: Hipsters, craft beer enthusiasts, beer snobs, beer hipsters, and anybody at any Cracker Barrel restaurant
Entrance Music: "Love 2 Dislike Me" by Tech N9NE (featuring Liz Suwandi & Tyler Lyon)
Entrance: Strobe lights flash and smoke gathers upon the stage as the intro to Tech N9NE's rap-metal experimentation "Love 2 Dislike Me" plays. There's a hush from the crowd at the haunting, ethereal nature of Liz Suwandi's soulful singing. Soon enough, though, the full brunt of the song hits, and the curtain parts.
Gian Jones charges out from the backstage area, and stands on the stage with his chest puffed out and shoulders back. He slowly and methodically raises both fists, basking in the glory as the women in the audience throw their panties and bras at him.
Slowly and methodically marching down the ramp with his arms out, he continues to have women's undergarments rain down upon him, some of them becoming draped over his head, shoulders, and/or arms, but a fair number falling at his feet to be left behind on the ramp as he makes his way to the ring.
Finally reaching the base of the ramp, he leans back, arching his whole body and looking up. He does an all-over, fluid little sort of a shake, the "Bernie Lean" dance, as it is known. Here, some punter from a college nobody has ever heard of will show you how it's done:
The result of this, of course, is that all of the panties and bras fall off his body, dropping onto the safety mats which cover the ringside area. With a grin and a wink to some slut in the first row, he rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring.
Fighting Style: Technically sound brawler, think William Regal or Dave "Fit" Finlay
Taunts: You know that thing where Samoa Joe used to calmly walk out of the way of a top rope dive move from an opponent, all dismissive and "Pffttt, fuck this guy," cool as a cucumber? Gian does that. He also pantomimes jerking off, sometimes.
Regular Moves:
- Rolling Senton
- Release German Suplex
- Fisherman Buster (occasionally Suplex variant instead, with bridging pin)
- Exploder Suplex
- Kneedrop
- Fujiwara Armbar
- Scoop Powerslam
- Slingshot Corner Elbow
- Samoan Drop
- Gutwrench Suplex
- Short Arm Lariat
Signature Moves:
Miley Cyrus: It's a running Cannonball Senton to a seated opponent, propped up against the bottom turnbuckle;
The name is because he comes in like a wrecking ball. Once he hits the move, he'll usually turn to the crowd while pointing at the opponent and loudly yelling that fact. Watch, I'll show you:
Gian Jones: "I came in like a fuckin' WRECKING BALL on dat muh'fucka!"
See? I told you. As a matter of fact, if you're a match writer you can probably just copy and paste that into what you're writing, to make it nice and easy on yourself. You're welcome, bitch.
Splattered: Rolling Fireman's Carry Slam
Flip Out Wit'cho Tits Out: Snap Butterfly Suplex
Primary Finisher:
Stay Down, Bitch; Pop-Up Sit-Out Powerbomb, usually into a pin.
Secondary Finisher:
Check Yo' Neck; Fireman's Carry Knee Neckbreaker
Personality: Gian Jones thinks very highly of himself, and doesn't think very highly of many others. There's a proverbial short list of people who he does respect, though, and he's actually pretty loyal to them. Never one to take much too seriously, he makes fun of a lot of motherfuckers, and is....well, let's be diplomatic and say that he's "very opinionated," okay?
Biography: Gian Jones used to work for PMN, being especially loyal to Jet Somers, who gave him his start in UGWC as a part of the "Stars of Tomorrow" initiative. However, after Eden Morgan's hostile takeover scheme, Gian found himself no longer welcome in the company, and began spending more and more time in Louisiana with members of the Devil's Most Wanted motorcycle club. Jet took a hiatus to go be a Nomad with Nate Korpi or some shit, though, so now Gian kicks it with his other favorite white people; Klaus vonKnorre and Harley Addams. He even followed them when they left the DMW behind to re-establish themselves in San Diego.
