Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Jul 26, 2010 21:49:29 GMT -5
Vinegar: ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Miami Florida, for UGWC IN YOUR HANDS!
Lieberjosch: Do you have to shout, we can all hear you.
Vinegar: the sound of the crowd is deafening, and everyone here along with all of you at home voted to make this show what it is tonight. So remember when you find out who is challenging for the World Heavyweight Title you gave us the match! But we're going to jump straight over to Mitchell Dennis for the first match. We don;t have time for a long introduction we're keen to see what kind of night you've laid out for us!
Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the In Your Hands opening contest and it is scheduled for one fall! The winner of this match will be guaranteed a Title opportunity against the Cross-Hemisphere Champion!
A Dijerido is heard playing in the arena as a shot of some kangaroos bounding off into the sunset is shown on the globotron before the opening Riff for "Beds are burning" by Midnight Oil takes over the P.A. system as "the original Aboriginal" makes his way down to the ring, smiling a big smile showing blindingly white teeth.
Dennis: Introducing first, from Townsville, Australia, standing in at 6 foot and weighing 190 pounds… The Original Aboriginal, PAUL COCKATOO!
As he walks down, he highfives a couple of fans and manages to take a peek down some hot girls tops. He slides into the ring, and does an air drum solo to the drum solo of beds are burning, before flashing another smile to the crowd and awaiting his opponent.
Lieberjosch: I don’t think she was very hot.
Vinegar: I don’t think she was a girl.
Jay: Why do we have TWO old white guys in the announce booth?
Lieberjosch: You would prefer to work with Paul Cockatoo on a weekly basis? Besides, I’m European, while Nicholas is a hillbilly.
Jay: I see your point.
Sonny Sandoval is heard over the P.A. saying "Lights out...." as the arena then goes dark. "...Word on the streets is the boys is back". The intro of "Lights Out" starts as the arena is flashing white lights and the entrance is filled with smoke. As the lyrics starts, "Hitman" emerges from the smoke looking down then warms himself up by jumping in place then throws his head up as well as the east coast sign in the air, as pyro goes off to his sides. He walks down the rampway bopping his head to the music and high-fives fans on each side.
Dennis: And the opponent, from… ugh…. The Brick City I guess, but could very well be the land of Mordor, standing in at 6 feet, 1 inch and weighing 233 pounds… DAVID ‘HITMAN’ LOPES!!!
He then hops onto the ring apron and walks to his right to the turnbuckle left of the main ring-camera and steps up the outside of the turnbuckle and proceeds to throw the east coast sign up ala. the Rock. He drops down and slingshots himself over the top rope and runs to the turnbuckle to the right of the main ring camera and proceeds with the gesture.
Vinegar: Well, guess we should get this one started then…
Lieberjosch: Wonderful.
Vinegar: Lopes starts the bout by instantly looking for the Blackout. Cockatoo basically laughing it off and shoves him back to the ropes.
Jay: Not very sneaky…
Lieberjosch: How does a 190 pound man fight as a powerhouse?
Jay: FISTS OF FURY!!!
Lieberjosch: When do ninjas ever use their fists?
Jay: …
Vinegar: Okay, now Cockatoo with a dropkick sends Lopes over the ropes and out of the ring. He’s also a high flyer, so that should clear up everything.
Jay: …
Lieberjosch: …
Vinegar: Yeah, I didn’t expect you guys to say much this match.
Lieberjosch: What’s that supposed to mean?
Vinegar: You’re not feeling under the weather? Maybe not quite yourselves? Oh never mind, as Cockatoo launches himself over the top rope and comes crashing down on Lopes with a big splash! Lopes is dazed, as Paul rolls him back inside the ring. Now leaps onto the apron and charges up the nearest turnbuckle!
Jay: And he has an excellent view down that fat girl’s top! Sneaky!
Lieberjosch: And he taunts with some air drums, before connecting with a surprisingly impressive leg drop. I’d say perhaps I misjudged The Bumbling Stereotype, but I haven’t so it would be pointless.
Vinegar: Cockatoo is lazily leaning on the ropes chatting with some fans and doesn’t seemem to have noticed Lopes groggily getting to his feet in the centre of the canvas. The Hitman takes the opportunity and lunges at his opponent. Cockatoo easily sidesteps and boots Lopes over the ropes again! The Original Aboriginal essentially toying with his opponent at this stage. Things aren’t looking good for the Brick City Boy.
Jay: He could just be playing possum! Like Prime Possum!
Lieberjosch: What the fuck is a Prime Possum?
Jay: He’s on channel Prime… in Australia…
Vinegar: That does not count as pop culture!
Jay: You’re right, I am off today…
Vinegar: So is Lopes, as he pulls himself back up using the barrier. Cockatoo is already there and ready to knock him back down. NO! Lopes with a violent shove sends Cockatoo backwards! Bamn! The Hitman spears Paul right into the side of the apron! Cockatoo’s back wouldn’t have liked that at all!
Lieberjosch: Says a lot about Lopes. He’s only hit one move, but it was the most intelligent one in the match. Not sure it will be enough to win, though.
Jay: I’m pretty sure it won’t be.
Vinegar: Lopes climbs onto the apron, as Cockatoo staggers in agony. And now Lopes leaps off with a falling DDT! NO! Cockatoo catches him in a spine buster position and smashes Lopes right into the safety barrier! Both men’s backs are gonna be in some serious pain now!
Lieberjosch: Cockatoo wanting to outdo Lopes. That strategy is working for now, but it may he may come to regret it later.
Vinegar: But not just yet. Cockatoo with a suplex, Lopes bounces against the ropes, before Paul uses the momentum to sling him face first over the safety barrier! Lopes going tumbling into some UGWC fans, as Paul crawls back into the ring!
Jay: Very imaginative ninja with that move!
Lieberjosch: It’s about damage, not imagination, but Cockatoo dealt a lot of damage with that suplex. He’s certainly on top of his game tonight, I can’t deny it.
Vinegar: Cockatoo recuperating, as East is up the count of 9!
Jay: Oh yeah, they have count outs! I totally forgot.
Lieberjosch: It’s definitely the longest nine count I’ve ever seen. Cockatoo slides out of the ring to break it, though. Not very smart. He’ll never be a doctor. Thankfully.
Vinegar: Cockatoo back in the ring and Lopes is finally climbing in behind him. The Hitman back in the match, but not for long as The Original Aboriginal lifts him up for a tremendous power bomb! But NO! Lopes breaks free, slides off behind Cockatoo and connects with a big neck breaker on the way down!
Lieberjosch: Excellent counter there. Lopes was desperate, but still delivered with a great move. But he hasn’t been able to follow up at all in this match, so lets see if he can change that here.
Vinegar: Lopes answers that question with a GIANT back body drop on Paul! Cockatoo clutching his back, as he squirms on the ground. Now Lopes lining up for another spear! Cockatoo slowly getting to his feet, trying to shake the cobwebs. Lopes Charges! NO! Cockatoo leaps to the side at the last second and David goes full speed head first into the ring post!
Jay: His ninja senses will be dulled now! Or at least they would be if he had any…
Vinegar: And Lopes stumbles backwards out of the corner, quite possibly knocked out. Cockatoo now unleashing with a MASSIVE boot into Lopes’ back! The Hitman gets lurched forward, bounces back off the corner, right into ANOTHER Cockatoo boot! And now a third! Lopes comes back for the fourth, but Paul spins him around and FALL FROM ULARU! COVER!!!
Lieberjosch: ONE! TWO! THRE – NO! LOPES SOMEHOW KICKED OUT!
Jay: Mmm, Cockatoo is a confused ninja now.
Vinegar: Paul, shrugging it off, pulls Lopes up AND CONNECTS WITH ANOTHER FALL FROM ULARU!
Lieberjosch: But he’s not covering! What’s he doing?!
Vinegar: He raises a single finger in the air, indicating the number one. He looks around the arena and the fans are on their feet cheering! They want it to see it one more time! The Original Aboriginal lines Lopes up a third time and BANG! FALL FROM ULARU AND LOPES JUST BOUNCED THE ENTIRE DISTANCE OF THE RING IN RECOIL! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Jay: HUTTAH!
Lieberjosch: This one’s done! Lopes had a couple of moments, but Cockatoo never seemed in any real danger of losing.
Vinegar: And that definitive victory gives Paul Cockatoo a shot at winning only the second Championship of his career. If he can keep up this kind of dominance, we are likely looking at the next Champ!
Lieberjosch: That’s a pretty big ‘if’.
Paul Cockatoo: 9
David Lopes: 2
Lieberjosch: Do you have to shout, we can all hear you.
Vinegar: the sound of the crowd is deafening, and everyone here along with all of you at home voted to make this show what it is tonight. So remember when you find out who is challenging for the World Heavyweight Title you gave us the match! But we're going to jump straight over to Mitchell Dennis for the first match. We don;t have time for a long introduction we're keen to see what kind of night you've laid out for us!
Dennis: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the In Your Hands opening contest and it is scheduled for one fall! The winner of this match will be guaranteed a Title opportunity against the Cross-Hemisphere Champion!
A Dijerido is heard playing in the arena as a shot of some kangaroos bounding off into the sunset is shown on the globotron before the opening Riff for "Beds are burning" by Midnight Oil takes over the P.A. system as "the original Aboriginal" makes his way down to the ring, smiling a big smile showing blindingly white teeth.
Dennis: Introducing first, from Townsville, Australia, standing in at 6 foot and weighing 190 pounds… The Original Aboriginal, PAUL COCKATOO!
As he walks down, he highfives a couple of fans and manages to take a peek down some hot girls tops. He slides into the ring, and does an air drum solo to the drum solo of beds are burning, before flashing another smile to the crowd and awaiting his opponent.
Lieberjosch: I don’t think she was very hot.
Vinegar: I don’t think she was a girl.
Jay: Why do we have TWO old white guys in the announce booth?
Lieberjosch: You would prefer to work with Paul Cockatoo on a weekly basis? Besides, I’m European, while Nicholas is a hillbilly.
Jay: I see your point.
Sonny Sandoval is heard over the P.A. saying "Lights out...." as the arena then goes dark. "...Word on the streets is the boys is back". The intro of "Lights Out" starts as the arena is flashing white lights and the entrance is filled with smoke. As the lyrics starts, "Hitman" emerges from the smoke looking down then warms himself up by jumping in place then throws his head up as well as the east coast sign in the air, as pyro goes off to his sides. He walks down the rampway bopping his head to the music and high-fives fans on each side.
Dennis: And the opponent, from… ugh…. The Brick City I guess, but could very well be the land of Mordor, standing in at 6 feet, 1 inch and weighing 233 pounds… DAVID ‘HITMAN’ LOPES!!!
He then hops onto the ring apron and walks to his right to the turnbuckle left of the main ring-camera and steps up the outside of the turnbuckle and proceeds to throw the east coast sign up ala. the Rock. He drops down and slingshots himself over the top rope and runs to the turnbuckle to the right of the main ring camera and proceeds with the gesture.
Vinegar: Well, guess we should get this one started then…
Lieberjosch: Wonderful.
Vinegar: Lopes starts the bout by instantly looking for the Blackout. Cockatoo basically laughing it off and shoves him back to the ropes.
Jay: Not very sneaky…
Lieberjosch: How does a 190 pound man fight as a powerhouse?
Jay: FISTS OF FURY!!!
Lieberjosch: When do ninjas ever use their fists?
Jay: …
Vinegar: Okay, now Cockatoo with a dropkick sends Lopes over the ropes and out of the ring. He’s also a high flyer, so that should clear up everything.
Jay: …
Lieberjosch: …
Vinegar: Yeah, I didn’t expect you guys to say much this match.
Lieberjosch: What’s that supposed to mean?
Vinegar: You’re not feeling under the weather? Maybe not quite yourselves? Oh never mind, as Cockatoo launches himself over the top rope and comes crashing down on Lopes with a big splash! Lopes is dazed, as Paul rolls him back inside the ring. Now leaps onto the apron and charges up the nearest turnbuckle!
Jay: And he has an excellent view down that fat girl’s top! Sneaky!
Lieberjosch: And he taunts with some air drums, before connecting with a surprisingly impressive leg drop. I’d say perhaps I misjudged The Bumbling Stereotype, but I haven’t so it would be pointless.
Vinegar: Cockatoo is lazily leaning on the ropes chatting with some fans and doesn’t seemem to have noticed Lopes groggily getting to his feet in the centre of the canvas. The Hitman takes the opportunity and lunges at his opponent. Cockatoo easily sidesteps and boots Lopes over the ropes again! The Original Aboriginal essentially toying with his opponent at this stage. Things aren’t looking good for the Brick City Boy.
Jay: He could just be playing possum! Like Prime Possum!
Lieberjosch: What the fuck is a Prime Possum?
Jay: He’s on channel Prime… in Australia…
Vinegar: That does not count as pop culture!
Jay: You’re right, I am off today…
Vinegar: So is Lopes, as he pulls himself back up using the barrier. Cockatoo is already there and ready to knock him back down. NO! Lopes with a violent shove sends Cockatoo backwards! Bamn! The Hitman spears Paul right into the side of the apron! Cockatoo’s back wouldn’t have liked that at all!
Lieberjosch: Says a lot about Lopes. He’s only hit one move, but it was the most intelligent one in the match. Not sure it will be enough to win, though.
Jay: I’m pretty sure it won’t be.
Vinegar: Lopes climbs onto the apron, as Cockatoo staggers in agony. And now Lopes leaps off with a falling DDT! NO! Cockatoo catches him in a spine buster position and smashes Lopes right into the safety barrier! Both men’s backs are gonna be in some serious pain now!
Lieberjosch: Cockatoo wanting to outdo Lopes. That strategy is working for now, but it may he may come to regret it later.
Vinegar: But not just yet. Cockatoo with a suplex, Lopes bounces against the ropes, before Paul uses the momentum to sling him face first over the safety barrier! Lopes going tumbling into some UGWC fans, as Paul crawls back into the ring!
Jay: Very imaginative ninja with that move!
Lieberjosch: It’s about damage, not imagination, but Cockatoo dealt a lot of damage with that suplex. He’s certainly on top of his game tonight, I can’t deny it.
Vinegar: Cockatoo recuperating, as East is up the count of 9!
Jay: Oh yeah, they have count outs! I totally forgot.
Lieberjosch: It’s definitely the longest nine count I’ve ever seen. Cockatoo slides out of the ring to break it, though. Not very smart. He’ll never be a doctor. Thankfully.
Vinegar: Cockatoo back in the ring and Lopes is finally climbing in behind him. The Hitman back in the match, but not for long as The Original Aboriginal lifts him up for a tremendous power bomb! But NO! Lopes breaks free, slides off behind Cockatoo and connects with a big neck breaker on the way down!
Lieberjosch: Excellent counter there. Lopes was desperate, but still delivered with a great move. But he hasn’t been able to follow up at all in this match, so lets see if he can change that here.
Vinegar: Lopes answers that question with a GIANT back body drop on Paul! Cockatoo clutching his back, as he squirms on the ground. Now Lopes lining up for another spear! Cockatoo slowly getting to his feet, trying to shake the cobwebs. Lopes Charges! NO! Cockatoo leaps to the side at the last second and David goes full speed head first into the ring post!
Jay: His ninja senses will be dulled now! Or at least they would be if he had any…
Vinegar: And Lopes stumbles backwards out of the corner, quite possibly knocked out. Cockatoo now unleashing with a MASSIVE boot into Lopes’ back! The Hitman gets lurched forward, bounces back off the corner, right into ANOTHER Cockatoo boot! And now a third! Lopes comes back for the fourth, but Paul spins him around and FALL FROM ULARU! COVER!!!
Lieberjosch: ONE! TWO! THRE – NO! LOPES SOMEHOW KICKED OUT!
Jay: Mmm, Cockatoo is a confused ninja now.
Vinegar: Paul, shrugging it off, pulls Lopes up AND CONNECTS WITH ANOTHER FALL FROM ULARU!
Lieberjosch: But he’s not covering! What’s he doing?!
Vinegar: He raises a single finger in the air, indicating the number one. He looks around the arena and the fans are on their feet cheering! They want it to see it one more time! The Original Aboriginal lines Lopes up a third time and BANG! FALL FROM ULARU AND LOPES JUST BOUNCED THE ENTIRE DISTANCE OF THE RING IN RECOIL! COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Jay: HUTTAH!
Lieberjosch: This one’s done! Lopes had a couple of moments, but Cockatoo never seemed in any real danger of losing.
Vinegar: And that definitive victory gives Paul Cockatoo a shot at winning only the second Championship of his career. If he can keep up this kind of dominance, we are likely looking at the next Champ!
Lieberjosch: That’s a pretty big ‘if’.
Paul Cockatoo: 9
David Lopes: 2