Post by T-Robosaurus Rex on Nov 1, 2011 14:36:54 GMT -5
Vinegar: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to UGWC’s Synergy! I’m Nicholas Vinegar, here alongside my broadcast partners Dr. Hans Lieberjosch, and UGWC’s resident Ninja, Covert Jay.
Lieberjosch: I am quite excited for this week’s card; it has the potential to be one of the greatest shows we’ve ever put on.
Covert Jay just taps away a beat on the desk
Vinegar: What’s with him?
Lieberjosch: I think he’s listening to his iPod.
Lieberjosch pulls the earphones from Covert Jay’s towel
Lieberjosch: What the hell are you listening to? Eurgh! That sounds horrible! What is that?
Covert Jay: That’s Rammstein. They’re awesome!
Vinegar: You listen to German industrial metal?
Covert Jay: Sure do! Ninja’s love the chaotic noise and live performances of German industrial metal bands, and speaking of Chaos, we have a Chaos rules grudge match featuring Enigma and Ethan King to look forward to.
Lieberjosch: Not to mention that chaotic 8 man tag match in tonight’s main event, with Rudo, Ezekiel, and what is essentially two thirds of the HRD taking on Tyvola, Alex Kiseragi, and Freak Show Central. But personally, I’m looking forward to seeing Gabby fight Calypso and the other two, that’s going to be HOT!
Covert Jay: My Ninja sense is tingling…..and by Ninja Sense, I mean penis.
Vinegar: You’re not Booker T. Stop talking about your penis. Those matches will be up later, as we have Duncan Ryder taking on Medos, which is certain to warm the crowd up to the evening of fantastic action waiting and rearing to go. Now without further ado, we go to Mitchell Dennis.
DING DING!
Mitchell: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!!!!!!!
“I don’t care”
Duncan walks out onto the ramp and throws a lightning bolt pose to his right. A pyro fires out into the crowd. He makes the pose to the left and another pyro fires out to the other side. He flexes low in front of himself and sparks flare up around him. He finally flexes his biceps up over his shoulders and three pairs of pyros fire straight up. Duncan swaggers down to the ring posing and grinning like a shit eater.
Vinegar: Duncan definitely more confident ever since he ousted Johnny Blake, sending him home in a broken heap.
Lieberjosch: Look at that swagger; he looks like a total tool!
Covert Jay: Bitch please, he doesn’t care. He’s got the moves like Jagger!
Lieberjosch: What?
Covert Jay: I was making a reference to Ke$ha and Maroon 5. Y’know, the pop culture thing I do?
Lieberjosch: It didn’t work.
Duncan winks at Hazel east who shoots him a look of utter repulsion. Mitchell Dennis doesn’t take too kindly to this either.
Dennis: Introducing first, from the UK weighing in at 240lbs, the metro fuck, DUNCAN RYYYYYYYYYDEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duncan scowls at Dennis as Firefly begins to play.
The lights dim to a near blackout, as all you can see on the Titantron is the words: "He Is Here!" Suddenly, an explosion erupts from the stage as "Firefly" by Breaking Benjamin starts up. Medos appears just as the chorus starts.
Dennis: And the opponent of the metro fuck, from a manly place that the metro fuck wouldn’t know about, weighing in at much less than the metro fuck’s fat momma, THE SOUTHERN GENT……MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
He walks out to the middle of the ramp, with a white cowboy hat on. He doesn't look that comfortable, sighs and walks down to the ring, he tips his hat to one side of the fans before placing it on the turnbuckle in the ring. He sends his arms wide before pointing to himself.
Lieberjosch: We’ve got to start making weight and hometowns more definable, Dennis just gets too carried away with those intros sometimes.
Vinegar: I don’t think Duncan quite liked what was said in Mitchell’s introductions, it looks like he’s resisting the urge to punch him.
Covert Jay: I thought it was funny.
Lieberjosch: Probably why he found it offensive, he has more than two brain cells.
DING! DING!
Vinegar: Medos starting this one off with a flying forearm, taking Duncan down by surprise. Medos now, right back to work, locking in an STF.
Lieberjosch: Medos’ arching of his back is a useful way of exerting more pressure to force the submission from Duncan.
Vinegar: Not this time, though. Ryder finds the ropes, and Medos has to release before the count of five unless he wants to risk a disqualification. Duncan now back to a vertical base, and goes for the lock up on Medos, attempting to quell the quickness he displayed earlier. Medos though, reverses it into a waist lock, GERMAN SUPLEX!
Covert Jay: The Duncinator forgot about the quickness of a ninja!
Lieberjosch: The Duncinator?
Covert Jay: Mitchell got to make up a fun name for him, so I thought I’d give it a go. That’s what his name would be if he was the Terminator.
Lieberjosch: *Sigh* Why do I even bother?
Vinegar: Medos with the pin for a one count, Ryder pushing him off with ease. Medos now with a whip to the ropes, bends down, looking for a back body drop, but is met with a boot to the side of the head.
Covert Jay: What do you know; Soccer is actually good for something after all.
Vinegar: Ryder picking Medos up
Covert Jay: And not in the faggy metro way.
Lieberjosch: Shut up, you moron. You’re getting your terminologies mixed up.
Vinegar:…and slamming him back down to the mat with a vertical suplex! Now going in to stomp the fallen body of Medos, targeting those injured ribs.
Lieberjosch: Well, the idiot was stupid enough to point out that they were injured; does he expect that they won’t be targeted?
Covert Jay: Wait….why didn’t he hurt himself when he hit the German Suplex?
Vinegar: He must have forgotten about the injured ribs while making the move.
Lieberjosch: Anatomically, that makes no sense.
Covert Jay: More sense than a gangster penguin with a fetish for Human women?
Lieberjosch: Point taken.
Vinegar: Duncan now with that Camel Clutch, pulling and straining Medos’ back further.
Lieberjosch: Just look at his face, Medos is in quite a lot of pain.
Vinegar: He fights on, though, getting himself back to an upright position, with Ryder STILL on his back, and falls down, crushing Ryder!
Covert Jay: Ninja skill!
Lieberjosch: With those injured ribs, that was a superhuman effort.
Vinegar: Both men are down, as Hazel East begins the ten count.
East: ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
Covert Jay: Duncan Donuts is back on his feet.
Vinegar: And so is Medos, breaking the count. Medos with a left.
Covert Jay: Yay!
Lieberjosch: Duncan with a right!
Covert Jay: Boo!
Vinegar: Medos with another left!
Covert Jay: Yay!
Lieberjosch: But Duncan again responds with a right
Covert Jay: Boo!
Vinegar: Medos now with a flurry of lefts and rights!
Covert Jay: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lieberjosch: But a strategic kick to the nether regions of Medos ends his attack!
Covert Jay: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lieberjosch: Would you stop that?
Covert Jay: Hey, I’m getting into this. I don’t wanna be a grumpy ass old man like you.
Vinegar: Leave him alone, Hans. You know as well as I do that he’ll do whatever he wants despite what you and I think of him for it.
Covert Jay: Thank you…..waaaaaaaiiiiiiittttt……
Vinegar: Duncan goes to clothesline Medos, but he ducks, and hits Duncan with a dropkick.
Covert Jay: I think that hurt Medos more than it did furious D.
Lieberjosch: Great, now he’s quoting the Simpsons. Although I do agree with you there, Duncan has come off of that attack in better shape than Medos. He should know that those injured ribs do not allow for high impact moves, which could hamper his ability to win tonight.
Vinegar: Medos crawling over for the cover.
East: ONE!
TWO!
Vinegar: Kickout!
Covert Jay: Tea Duncan kicks out! Actually, I saw that coming…
Vinegar: I bet you didn’t see that coming, Duncan gets up and nails a Fisherman’s suplex on the rising Medos, placing more pain on those ribs. Duncan Ryder is just sadistic!
Lieberjosch: Going after documented injuries is a smart strategy to have; it was smart of him to go for them.
Vinegar: Duncan now with the pin.
East: ONE!
TWO!
Covert Jay: NINJA KICK OUT!
Vinegar: This is near impossible, but it seems that Medos is nowhere near done just yet! Duncan can’t believe it, he thought for sure that Medos would be easier to put away than this.
Lieberjosch: Article 678 states that looks can be, and most often are, misleading.
Covert Jay: Then why hate on smaller wrestlers, I mean, that seems a little contradictory to that rule.
Lieberjosch: Size is the natural exception to the rule.
Vinegar: Duncan lining up for his finisher….
Lieberjosch: DEVASTATING DASHING DRIVER!
Vinegar: This should be it!
East: ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!!
DING! DING!
Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, THE METRO FUCK!
Vinegar: Duncan taking issue with that last comment, and starts shouting profanities at Dennis, possibly insinuating that Dennis is jealous of Duncan’s good looks.
Lieberjosch: I always thought you were gay…
Vinegar: That’s not what I meant, and you know it!
Covert Jay: HA! Look at him backpedal.
Vinegar: Moving on, security has come down to escort Duncan to the back, and to stop him from assaulting Dennis as we move on to our next match.
Lieberjosch: I am quite excited for this week’s card; it has the potential to be one of the greatest shows we’ve ever put on.
Covert Jay just taps away a beat on the desk
Vinegar: What’s with him?
Lieberjosch: I think he’s listening to his iPod.
Lieberjosch pulls the earphones from Covert Jay’s towel
Lieberjosch: What the hell are you listening to? Eurgh! That sounds horrible! What is that?
Covert Jay: That’s Rammstein. They’re awesome!
Vinegar: You listen to German industrial metal?
Covert Jay: Sure do! Ninja’s love the chaotic noise and live performances of German industrial metal bands, and speaking of Chaos, we have a Chaos rules grudge match featuring Enigma and Ethan King to look forward to.
Lieberjosch: Not to mention that chaotic 8 man tag match in tonight’s main event, with Rudo, Ezekiel, and what is essentially two thirds of the HRD taking on Tyvola, Alex Kiseragi, and Freak Show Central. But personally, I’m looking forward to seeing Gabby fight Calypso and the other two, that’s going to be HOT!
Covert Jay: My Ninja sense is tingling…..and by Ninja Sense, I mean penis.
Vinegar: You’re not Booker T. Stop talking about your penis. Those matches will be up later, as we have Duncan Ryder taking on Medos, which is certain to warm the crowd up to the evening of fantastic action waiting and rearing to go. Now without further ado, we go to Mitchell Dennis.
DING DING!
Mitchell: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!!!!!!!
“I don’t care”
Duncan walks out onto the ramp and throws a lightning bolt pose to his right. A pyro fires out into the crowd. He makes the pose to the left and another pyro fires out to the other side. He flexes low in front of himself and sparks flare up around him. He finally flexes his biceps up over his shoulders and three pairs of pyros fire straight up. Duncan swaggers down to the ring posing and grinning like a shit eater.
Vinegar: Duncan definitely more confident ever since he ousted Johnny Blake, sending him home in a broken heap.
Lieberjosch: Look at that swagger; he looks like a total tool!
Covert Jay: Bitch please, he doesn’t care. He’s got the moves like Jagger!
Lieberjosch: What?
Covert Jay: I was making a reference to Ke$ha and Maroon 5. Y’know, the pop culture thing I do?
Lieberjosch: It didn’t work.
Duncan winks at Hazel east who shoots him a look of utter repulsion. Mitchell Dennis doesn’t take too kindly to this either.
Dennis: Introducing first, from the UK weighing in at 240lbs, the metro fuck, DUNCAN RYYYYYYYYYDEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duncan scowls at Dennis as Firefly begins to play.
The lights dim to a near blackout, as all you can see on the Titantron is the words: "He Is Here!" Suddenly, an explosion erupts from the stage as "Firefly" by Breaking Benjamin starts up. Medos appears just as the chorus starts.
Dennis: And the opponent of the metro fuck, from a manly place that the metro fuck wouldn’t know about, weighing in at much less than the metro fuck’s fat momma, THE SOUTHERN GENT……MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
He walks out to the middle of the ramp, with a white cowboy hat on. He doesn't look that comfortable, sighs and walks down to the ring, he tips his hat to one side of the fans before placing it on the turnbuckle in the ring. He sends his arms wide before pointing to himself.
Lieberjosch: We’ve got to start making weight and hometowns more definable, Dennis just gets too carried away with those intros sometimes.
Vinegar: I don’t think Duncan quite liked what was said in Mitchell’s introductions, it looks like he’s resisting the urge to punch him.
Covert Jay: I thought it was funny.
Lieberjosch: Probably why he found it offensive, he has more than two brain cells.
DING! DING!
Vinegar: Medos starting this one off with a flying forearm, taking Duncan down by surprise. Medos now, right back to work, locking in an STF.
Lieberjosch: Medos’ arching of his back is a useful way of exerting more pressure to force the submission from Duncan.
Vinegar: Not this time, though. Ryder finds the ropes, and Medos has to release before the count of five unless he wants to risk a disqualification. Duncan now back to a vertical base, and goes for the lock up on Medos, attempting to quell the quickness he displayed earlier. Medos though, reverses it into a waist lock, GERMAN SUPLEX!
Covert Jay: The Duncinator forgot about the quickness of a ninja!
Lieberjosch: The Duncinator?
Covert Jay: Mitchell got to make up a fun name for him, so I thought I’d give it a go. That’s what his name would be if he was the Terminator.
Lieberjosch: *Sigh* Why do I even bother?
Vinegar: Medos with the pin for a one count, Ryder pushing him off with ease. Medos now with a whip to the ropes, bends down, looking for a back body drop, but is met with a boot to the side of the head.
Covert Jay: What do you know; Soccer is actually good for something after all.
Vinegar: Ryder picking Medos up
Covert Jay: And not in the faggy metro way.
Lieberjosch: Shut up, you moron. You’re getting your terminologies mixed up.
Vinegar:…and slamming him back down to the mat with a vertical suplex! Now going in to stomp the fallen body of Medos, targeting those injured ribs.
Lieberjosch: Well, the idiot was stupid enough to point out that they were injured; does he expect that they won’t be targeted?
Covert Jay: Wait….why didn’t he hurt himself when he hit the German Suplex?
Vinegar: He must have forgotten about the injured ribs while making the move.
Lieberjosch: Anatomically, that makes no sense.
Covert Jay: More sense than a gangster penguin with a fetish for Human women?
Lieberjosch: Point taken.
Vinegar: Duncan now with that Camel Clutch, pulling and straining Medos’ back further.
Lieberjosch: Just look at his face, Medos is in quite a lot of pain.
Vinegar: He fights on, though, getting himself back to an upright position, with Ryder STILL on his back, and falls down, crushing Ryder!
Covert Jay: Ninja skill!
Lieberjosch: With those injured ribs, that was a superhuman effort.
Vinegar: Both men are down, as Hazel East begins the ten count.
East: ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
Covert Jay: Duncan Donuts is back on his feet.
Vinegar: And so is Medos, breaking the count. Medos with a left.
Covert Jay: Yay!
Lieberjosch: Duncan with a right!
Covert Jay: Boo!
Vinegar: Medos with another left!
Covert Jay: Yay!
Lieberjosch: But Duncan again responds with a right
Covert Jay: Boo!
Vinegar: Medos now with a flurry of lefts and rights!
Covert Jay: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lieberjosch: But a strategic kick to the nether regions of Medos ends his attack!
Covert Jay: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lieberjosch: Would you stop that?
Covert Jay: Hey, I’m getting into this. I don’t wanna be a grumpy ass old man like you.
Vinegar: Leave him alone, Hans. You know as well as I do that he’ll do whatever he wants despite what you and I think of him for it.
Covert Jay: Thank you…..waaaaaaaiiiiiiittttt……
Vinegar: Duncan goes to clothesline Medos, but he ducks, and hits Duncan with a dropkick.
Covert Jay: I think that hurt Medos more than it did furious D.
Lieberjosch: Great, now he’s quoting the Simpsons. Although I do agree with you there, Duncan has come off of that attack in better shape than Medos. He should know that those injured ribs do not allow for high impact moves, which could hamper his ability to win tonight.
Vinegar: Medos crawling over for the cover.
East: ONE!
TWO!
Vinegar: Kickout!
Covert Jay: Tea Duncan kicks out! Actually, I saw that coming…
Vinegar: I bet you didn’t see that coming, Duncan gets up and nails a Fisherman’s suplex on the rising Medos, placing more pain on those ribs. Duncan Ryder is just sadistic!
Lieberjosch: Going after documented injuries is a smart strategy to have; it was smart of him to go for them.
Vinegar: Duncan now with the pin.
East: ONE!
TWO!
Covert Jay: NINJA KICK OUT!
Vinegar: This is near impossible, but it seems that Medos is nowhere near done just yet! Duncan can’t believe it, he thought for sure that Medos would be easier to put away than this.
Lieberjosch: Article 678 states that looks can be, and most often are, misleading.
Covert Jay: Then why hate on smaller wrestlers, I mean, that seems a little contradictory to that rule.
Lieberjosch: Size is the natural exception to the rule.
Vinegar: Duncan lining up for his finisher….
Lieberjosch: DEVASTATING DASHING DRIVER!
Vinegar: This should be it!
East: ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!!
DING! DING!
Dennis: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, THE METRO FUCK!
Vinegar: Duncan taking issue with that last comment, and starts shouting profanities at Dennis, possibly insinuating that Dennis is jealous of Duncan’s good looks.
Lieberjosch: I always thought you were gay…
Vinegar: That’s not what I meant, and you know it!
Covert Jay: HA! Look at him backpedal.
Vinegar: Moving on, security has come down to escort Duncan to the back, and to stop him from assaulting Dennis as we move on to our next match.